01x09 & 01x10 - The Pressure/The Painting

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

[Molly] So, what do you think
of my tree house, girls?

Very nice!

I just love what you've done
with the bathroom.

[Molly] Thanks.
I went for understated chic.

Molly has such a good eye
for interior design.

-Yeah.
-Oh, yes.

Boring! You think because it's in a tree,
it's all that?

Well, it isn't.
It's just as boring as a real house.

I mean, what is it
you actually do in here, Molly?

Well, I just hang out, watch the boys.

-Come on, Gumball!
-Come on! Go!

[car alarm blaring]

Lame!

You don't watch boys-- you kiss them.

What?

Hold on.

Don't tell me you don't have boyfriends.

You do, Molly, right?

Uh, sure, I do.

You don't know him, though.

He's way older, and he's in high school.

-Wow!
-Wow!

Well, my boyfriend's so old,
that he doesn't have a babysitter.

-Wow!
-Wow!

Well, mine's so old,
he stopped wearing braces.

[all] Wow!

Well, mine is so old,
that he doesn't have teeth.

[sighs] I wish I had a boyfriend.

[grunts]

Did Penny see my stunt?

Don't tell me you want to impress
those-- those-- those perfumed sissies!

You mean those girls over there? Nah!

They wouldn't care about
a handsome bachelor, years old,

who likes world cinema,
fine dining, extreme sports,

and long romantic walks
on the beach by moonlight.

Let's make a pact, right here, right now--
pals before gals!

[all] Pals before gals!

[grunts] OK.

Wait! Wait! Wait!
Let's make a blood pact.

[grunts]

So, your turn to tell us, Masami.

Do you have a boyfriend?

Yeah. [nervous chuckle]

He's-- I-- it's...

It's...

Darwin!

-Darwin?
-Darwin?

Yeah! He's great because he's got legs,

and, you know, a head.

OK.

-Guys! Guys! Guys!
-[girls giggling]

Enemy at o'clock.

No. This way!

Here he is!

Remember, pals before gals.

Hello, sweet cheeks!

-What?
-What?

Oh, come on.
He's not your boyfriend, Masami.

[scoffs] He so is. Look.

Hold my book, boyfriend!

Uh, OK.

I'll show you how much he likes me
at the tree house.

[giggles]

I can't believe it.

You-- you-- you... Girl lover!

It's always the quiet ones.

She's not my girlfriend!

What am I gonna do?
What am I gonna do?

I know!
I'll just run away and hide forever!

[thud]

I'll never forget you guys!

That was dramatic.

[Penny] Hey, Gumball.

Hey, Penny.

Want to walk me to the canteen?

Definitely... not.

Definitely not now, but maybe later?

-[clears throat]
-[sighs]

-[indistinct chatter]
-Ow!

[Darwin] Gumball!

I'm scared.

Darwin?

I thought you'd run away forever.

I got hungry.

-[laughing]
-[Darwin gasps]

Oh, no! They're here!

{\an }What am I gonna do now?

Don't worry, buddy.

If you can't see them, they can't see you.

[both] Ow.

OK. I think we're safe.

[both scream]

-Hey.
-Hey.

Yeah. Hi.

I was just talking about you, boyfriend.

Come and sit by me.

Oh, come on! Don't be shy, sugar lumps.

Give me a hug!

[Gumball] Excuse me. Room for one more?
[grunts]

So, what are we talking about?

[scoffs] Well, before you so rudely
interrupted us, we were talking

about how Darwin
is gonna kiss me in the tree house.

-What?
-Yeah.

Because that's what boyfriend
and girlfriend do!

Come on, boyfriend.
Let's go somewhere more private.

Boyfriend!

Help... me.

Don't worry, buddy. I'm here for you.

Pals before-- Hi, Penny.

[Penny] Hey, Gumball.

Where was I?

Oh, yeah. Darwin.

Darwin? Darwin, where are you?

Darwin?

Darwin!

-[water bubbling]
-Huh?

-What are you doing here?
-[mumbling]

[Darwin] She won't find me down here!

She hates getting her hair wet.

Really?

Hey, have you seen Darwin around?

[Gumball] Don't worry, buddy.

I'm on it.

[grunts] Oh, man.

Pals before gals!

Hey, Masami.
Have you seen Gumball anywhere?

Oh, no. I can't do that to Penny.

On one hand,
I create a diversion and save Darwin.

But on the other hand,
I splash Penny and look like a--

What was that?

I don't know, but it sounded painful.

Oh, well. See you at the tree house.

Darwin!

[gasps]

There you are!

Come on. We're going for ice cream.

Ow!

[grunts]

Hey!

[sighs]

Hey, dude. Nice bikini.

Thanks. Oh, Rocky, wait!

You've had girlfriends before, right?

Oh, yeah. Thousands of them.

Well, how do you get rid of them?

Well, usually,
I just close my eyes and open my heart.

And when I open my eyes again,
they're gone.

What do you mean?

Well, I guess they don't want me
to talk about my feelings.

So, you mean,
openly expressing your emotional turmoil

rather than coming up
with a convoluted little scheme?

It's so crazy, it just might work!

[Masami] Darwin!

[inhales]

Listen, Masami.
This is very difficult for me to say.

I'm leaving.

We've had good times together,
but it's just not right for me.

I can't help how I feel.
It's not your fault.

It's mine. I'm just not ready
for something this amazing.

You deserve someone better.

Now, farewell, dear heart.

[sobbing]

What should I do?

[Gumball] I don't know.

Nice work, Romeo.

OK! OK! I didn't mean it!

Boyfriend joke! Look! I'm laughing!
Ha-ha-ha!

You can stop crying now. Please?

Please, I'll do anything you want!
I'll go to the tree house!

I'll-- I'll-- I'll kiss you!

OK. See you there, sweet lips.

Oh, man, I am so sorry.

What did you make me do?

What did you make me do?

I have to kiss a girl!
I'm going to get married!

I don't want to get married! [groans]

I'm sorry, dude.
Oh, don't be like that.

Not cool, man! Not cool!

Don't worry, buddy. I'll save you.

How? You need to have a date
to get in that tree house!

Yeah. That is true.

And what happened to "Pals before gals"?

Ah, it's cool.
I'll find a plan to save him.

You'd better,
'cause if you don't, we will.

Hi, Gumball.

[giggling]

After you, boyfriend.

{\an }Somebody, please help me.

-What did you say?
-Nothing!

I'm climbing. Climbing.

Hey, Darwin.

[gasps] Oh, no! They got you, too!

Oh, yeah. They got me.

It was horrible. Oh. Oh, no.

Don't drag me in there and kiss me.

Oh, well, now that we're here...

So, girls,
where are all of your boyfriends?

[whistling]

OK, girls. Confession time.

My boyfriend's not real.

[all gasp]

-Yeah, mine, too.
-I made mine up.

So, me and Penny
are the only ones with boys to kiss.

Darwin?

Come on, boyfriend!

-Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
-Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!

Gumball! Do something!

Just a minute. Sorry.

I have to save my best friend.

I'm really glad you came.

Oh! Please! You don't want to kiss me!

I taste like fish!

-[screams]
-Get back here!

-[Darwin] Gumball!
-It's such a beautiful day, Gumball.

Yeah, but not as beautiful
as your antlers.

Can you feel the universe
moving around us?

{\an }Uh, yeah. It's sort of like
a swaying motion, actually.

[laughing]

Let's kiss
and remember this for all eternity.

Let's kiss, so I can show
these losers who's boss.

Mmm...

Mmm...

[kisses]

-Timber!
-Timber!

Wow!

That was amazing!

Bye, Penny.

See you later, sugar lumps.

Ah. What fascinating creatures.

Pals before gals!

[Nigel] So, Mr. And Mrs. Watterson,
I called you in today

to discuss concerns regarding
your daughter, Anais.

Judging by this alarming painting,
you, madam,

are suffering from work-related stress.

You, sir, are not a good role model.

And these two children
are clearly lacking in discipline.

[screaming]

Kids, calm down, please!

When I look at this painting,
I see a family that...

A family that has problems.

Principal Brown, if I may interrupt--

[Nigel] Oh, don't worry, sweetie.
It's not your fault.

It's your fault!

I'm sorry, Princess Cheesecake.
The sausage fairy made me do it.

Sweetie, I had no idea
we were such a terrible family.

Boys, please!

Anyway, for the good of your family,

I've drawn up a recovery schedule
to get you back on track.

Woo-hoo!

I'll make it short.

You, madam,
need to stop working and relax.

Your husband needs to stop relaxing
and work.

As for you, Gumball and Darwin...

-[chuckles]
-[gasps]

You'll be spending the day with Mr. Small,

the school counselor, to channel
your energy in a less destructive way.

Well, Principal,
we'd be happy to try anything if you

think it's going to help Anais.

Can I just say something?

You don't need to, sweetie.

We're all going to get better,
right, boys?

[both] Uh-huh.

-I said, "Right, boys?"
-Yes!

Of course, honey!

-What did I just agree to?
-You got to get a job.

No!

Well, thank you, Principal Brown.
We'll do our best.

[door opens, closes]

Uh, Mr. Watter--

Welcome to my five-step program
for undisciplined children.

Step one-- primal scream.

-What's that?
-What's that?

It's when you channel all your rage
into a violent, vocal release, like this.

Aah.

You guys try it.

-Uh, I don't think I have any rage.
-Me neither.

Everyone has anger, Gumball.

Just look inside yourself and find it.

Inside?

Do you see anything?

No, nothing at all.

-Try it anyway.
-OK.

Oh, you can do better than that.

[squeaking]

OK, Darwin. Your turn.

Take a deep breath and let it all out!

[static crackling]

OK, Nicole. Relax.
It's for the good of my daughter.

So I'm just going to sit and do nothing.

Oh, this is going to be hard.

So, how about those FK reports
that Simon drew up?

Oh, yeah.
I was reading them in the bathroom.

Huh. Too much information, Charlie!

[laughing]

I think you're the best employee
we ever had at Chanax Incorporated.

Here's the key to the executive washroom.

[gasps] No way!

Well, all I have to do is make that dream
come true and I'll be fine.

-I'll do it for you, my little girl!
-[stomach grumbling]

I need that key to the executive washroom.

[screams]

{\an }[grunts]

[both laughing]

Step two, we need to channel
your destructive energy

into something creative, like painting.

-Oh. OK.
-Oh. OK.

When you think about painting,
do you think about something like this?

-Yeah!
-Yeah!

Well, you're wrong! This is not painting!

-Who wants to go first?
-Me!

Me! Me! Me! Pick me!

The world is your canvas.
Now, be the brush!

My eyes! It burns!

[screams and cries]

Not bad.

Your turn, Darwin.

[Darwin] It burns!

[Nicole breathing heavily]

So, that's the whole house washed,
the car triple waxed,

I've bleached the fruit,
alphabetized the fridge

and all its contents.
And have polished my cleaning products,

five hours before anyone gets home.
[sighs]

-[whistling]
-[vase shatters]

Oh, how silly of me!

Well, I guess I'll have to clean that up.

-Oh, no! There goes another one!
-[shatters]

-Oh, what am I like?
-[shattering continues]

Come on, Richard! You can do it!

Uh. Whoa. Ow. Oh.

Hmm.

-Huh? What are you--
-Shh. Keep walking.

[Richard cheering]

-[Small] Step three-- interpretive dance.
-What is "interpreted-ive" dance?

It's where you channel your emotions
through body moves.

That sounds kind of silly.

Silly? You think this is silly?

Mommy! Why must you work so much?

Daddy, rise from your slumber
and appreciate me!

I'm troubled!

Troubled and lost.

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful!

Sticks and stone can break... my bones.

I will be reborn

like a phoenix.

Yep. That was kind of silly.

I thought it was beautiful!

Now it's your turn. Come on, Gumball.

All right.

Wow! Amazing, Gumball!

Now pretend you're a hungry crab.

Hungrier!

Now be the color orange.

That's yellow! I said orange!

That's it.

[telephone ringing]

-[elevator dings]
-[Richard grunts]

Hi, my name is Richard Watterson.

I'm here for the job.

Good afternoon, Mr. Watterson.

This is your contract.

Please sign here, here, and here.

OK!

-[grunts]
-And here's your pink slip.

What does that mean?

It means you're seven hours
and minutes late and you're fired.

Oh. [screams]

Oh. Thank you for your kindness.

Bye! [screams]

Step four of your five-step program,
where you'll learn that

the greatest enemy to a warrior
of happiness is...

inhibition!

-Hai, small sensei!
-Hai, small sensei!

Destroy this negative feeling.

Ya! Ow!

-Again.
-Ah.

-Again.
-Ah.

Again. No. Again.

Come on! Destroy those inhibitions!

I'm trying!

Don't worry, buddy! I'll help you!

[screams]

Shoo! Shoo! Shoo! Shoo, inhibitions!

Shoo!

We did it, Mr. Small.

Oh. Very good, kids.

You're now black belts in Small-Kwon-Do.

And, remember, boys--
when the monkey looks at the mountain...

-He's looking for bananas.
-He's looking for bananas.

Dismissed.

Wait a minute. What about step five?

The fifth step was within you all along.

Just be yourselves.

Weak.

-[shatters]
-[Nicole laughing]

Oh, no! It's broken!
How will I ever clean it all up?

I feel so relaxed!

[Richard sobbing]

I never want to work again!

It was horrible!

-Hi, Mom.
-Oh, hi, kids.

-How was your day?
-We had loads of fun!

We learned to dance, scream, paint,

-and smash stuff!
-And smash stuff!

Smash stuff?

That sounds interesting.

So, let's see what positive effect

my program
has had on your barbaric family.

Principal Brown, can I just say--

Oh, there's nothing
to worry about, sweetie.

Now say hello to your all-new, healthy,
responsible family!

[all screaming]

What is going on here?

You've made no progress whatsoever!

-[all mumbling]
-I don't want excuses.

Excuse me!

If you'd listen for a second, you'd know
I never wanted anyone to change.

But I thought you were unhappy, honey.
That painting--

{\an }That painting says,
"I love my family

{\an }exactly as they are."

[chuckles]

Does that mean
I don't have to go back to work?

-Uh-huh.
-Yes! [snores]

Can I play with you guys now?

Of course.

There you go, honey.

[all screaming]

[dishes shatter]

Well, uh, good job, everyone.

I'll let myself out.

Oh, and you'll go back
to your normal classes tomor--

[Darwin] Be the brush!

It burns.

[theme music playing]