01x11 & 01x12 - The Laziest/The Ghost

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

So, remember,
you've got to vacuum the living room,

sort out the fridge,
and don't forget to take out the trash.

Yes, commander.

Very good. See you later.

[door opens and closes]

[engine revving]

[groans]

Can't be bothered.

[sighs]

Move.

Move.

Psst. Dad, you wanna play?

[grunts] I can't play right now.

Can't you see I'm taking out the trash?

But you promised to play with us.

How about you little bank robbers

-take your loot to the safe house, huh?
-[flies buzzing]

[chuckles]

We are just taking
out the trash, aren't we?

Yeah.

-[snoring]
-Dad!

You tricked us! That was no game.

Sorry! I've got a medical condition
called laziness.

Yeah? Well, from now on,
we're gonna be the lazy ones.

-Hmm!
-[laughs]

I'll tell you what...

If you can find anyone
lazier than me in this town,

I'll do your chores for a whole day.

And if you lose,

you'll do mine for the rest of your life.
How's that sound?

[both] Hmm,.

-Sounds pretty fair.
-Sounds pretty fair.

OK, then. Let the lazy-off begin!

[man, on TV] Ike Hitcher meets
Rod Ironknuckle fist to fist.

{\an }Thumb-wrestling federation
tonight at : .

-What do we do?
-We just do everything Dad does.

[chomping]

He just never stops.

[burps]

Hey, you got a little something
on your face.

-Where? Ow.
-There!

Sorry! I don't know
what's happening to me!

I'm all tingly!

Me, too, buddy!

What's going on?

♪ Everywhere you look
And everywhere you go ♪

♪ Sugar, sugar, sugar
From your head to your toe ♪

♪ When you've eaten lots of lots of sugar
And you've had too much ♪

♪ Watch out, everybody
It's a sugar rush ♪

♪ Watch out, everybody
It's a sugar rush ♪

{\an }It tickles!

Dad! We need a timeout.

We're gonna find someone else
to b*at you.

Sure. But I have to warn you--
I'm invincible!

Come on, Darwin! Let's go!

[screeches]

[gibberish]

What did he say?

He's just saying he needs to find a guy
to b*at his pop in a lazy-off.

How about Lazy Larry?

Who's Lazy Larry?

It's a long story, son,
that goes way back to the summer of ' .

What's happening?

I don't know.

♪ Everything was fast ♪

♪ Now everything is slow ♪

♪ I'm all alone in my sugar low ♪

Where did everybody go?

[echoing]

Never mind.
Just go and see Lazy Larry.

He works at the convenience store.

-Thank you, senior citizens.
-Thank you, senior citizens.

What did he say?

Hello, there, valued costumers.

Are you Lazy Larry?

[gasps] No! No Lazy Larry's here.
[nervous chuckle]

No.

Will Lazy Larry
please come to the checkout? Lazy--

[softly] No one calls me that anymore.
I stopped being Lazy Larry years ago.

How come?

Well, it all goes back
to the summer of ' ...

[normal voice]
Can you just tell it quickly?

Yeah, sure.

I was the laziest guy in Elmore

until I lost my title
to Richard Watterson.

[both gasp]

That guy is lazier than a rock.

But, Larry, we need you
to b*at our dad in a lazy-off.

I'm sorry, kids,
but I'm not that guy anymore.

I've got a car now,
and a great new house and a girlfriend,

who I'm gonna marry.

So, thank you for shopping
at Food n' Stuff and please go home now.

Hello, there, valued--

Please do it, Larry!

No!

[gasps]

-Please do it, Larry!
-No!

{\an }-Please do it, Larry!
-No!

-Please do it, Larry!
-Please do it, Larry!

No!

-[electronic voice] Please do it, Larry.
-No!

-Please do it, Larry!
-Please do it, Larry!

No! No! No! No!

Oh, sorry, ma'am. That's cents.

-Please do it, Larry!
-Please do it, Larry!

Leave me alone!

[man, on P.A.] Shouting at customers,
Needlemeyer? Gonna have to let you go.

Now that you don't have a job anymore,
will you come do our lazy-off?

No!

[sighs] Finally lost them.

[man, on radio] This one goes out to Larry
Needlemeyer from Gumball and Darwin.

♪ Please do it, Larry
Please do it, Lar-- ♪

-Please do it, Larry.
-Please do it, Larry!

[screams]

[expl*si*n]

My car.

-Please do it, Larry!
-Please do it, Larry!

[screams]

Hi, honey.

There's... something
I've been meaning to ask you.

Yes, Laurence?

Would you...

-Please do it, Larry! Please do it, Larry!
-Please do it, Larry! Please do it, Larry!

Get out of my life!

-[grunts]
-[glass shatters]

[breathing heavily]

I can take a hint, Laurence.

[sobbing]

-Please do it, Larry!
-Please do it, Larry!

Ah. I can't believe it. She threw me out.

[sighs]

[slurps]

So, now that you've lost everything,
will you come do our lazy-off?

-Yay, Larry! High-five!
-Yay, Larry! High-five!

-We're back in the game! Let's go!
-We're back in the game! Let's go!

-[Richard snoring]
-[clears throat]

Well, that was a pretty long timeout.

Yeah, but now we've got somebody
who can b*at you-- Lazy Larry.

Lazy Larry, huh?

Why, that's a name I haven't heard
since the summer of ' --

Nobody cares about the summer of ' !

Sorry. So, where is he?

-Here!
-Here!

Huh? What the--

[line ringing]

[Larry] Hi. This is Lazy Larry...

Hey, Larry, it's G--

I'm home, but I'm too lazy
to pick up the phone.

Don't bother leaving a message, 'cause I--

[beeps]

He's not coming.

So you forfeit?

Who says we forfeit?
We're gonna take you on ourselves.

-We will?
-Yeah.

-Yeah?
-Yeah!

-Oh, yeah?
-Yeah!

-Yeah?
-Yeah.

OK, then. Last man sitting wins.

[yawns]

Everything all right, son?

Uh-huh.

Good. Just checking.

[stomach growling]

I'm hungry.

Me, too.
I think I'll have a slice of pizza.

But if you move, you lose.

Who said anything about moving?

[wheels squeaking]

[splat]

Don't worry, buddy. Watch this.

[grunts]

Sorry, buddy!

Looks like it's just you and me.

Pins and needles! I gotta move!

[man, on TV] Live monster truck rally!

[Gumball] Monster trucks.
That'll take my mind off it.

We'll see about that.

-Darwin?
-Uh-huh.

Change channels for Dad!

No, Darwin! Don't change channels for Dad!

No! Do change channels for Dad!

Stop telling me what to do!

It's confusing!

Oh, OK, then.
I'll just use my supernatural powers.

It's slightly chilly.

[screams] Paranormal activity!

Moving on to tomorrow...

[man , on TV] Today you can have...

Oh, no! Not the shopping channel!

I hate it!

...for as little as $ . ...

Boring!

...limited edition...

Can't... take it!

-...little as $ . ...
-Must... change... channel!

[strains]

[man ]
...twenty-four-hour monster truck...

Ha!

Uh!

[brake squeals]

Well, son,

seems like the apple didn't fall
too far from the tree.

You're pretty lazy, my boy.

[TV switches off]

What? You mean... we won?

[Richard] Yep!

-We won! We won! We won!
-We won! We won! We won!

-We won, we won, you lost!
-We won, we won, you lost!

We won!

[humming]

We are the laziest people
in the whole world!

Gumball Watterson!
You should be ashamed of yourselves!

Fooling around
as your poor father slaves away!

When will it ever end?

But, Mom--

No! I don't want to hear another word.

Get off the sofa,

get on with the chores
and give your dad a rest.

Oh, my back!

You've done enough today,
my little fluffy soldier.

I don't want you to move another muscle.

Oh. Thank you, honey.

You mind moving your feet?

[snoring]

-Uh-uh. You heard what Mom said.
-[grunts]

[school bell rings]

-Hmm...
-Hmm. Hmm?

Mm. Mm-mmm?

[sighs] That is just so insensitive.

You know ghosts can't eat.

Watching you two at lunchtime
makes my afterlife a misery.

But, Carrie, you like being miserable.

That's not the point.

I'm hungry.

So why do you come
to the cafeteria every day?

Because it brings out
the only feeling I have left...

pain.

Can I have your lunch, then?

Whatever.

I wish I still had a body.

Why don't you use Gumball's?

What? Me?

Really? You would do that for me?

Sure. Gumball's always there
for a friend in need.

I am?

Great. Thanks.

No, wait!

[growls]

I can breathe!

I can feel!

I... can... eat!

I need more!

[shrieks]

Another happy ending.

[fast-paced music plays]

No!

We got a man down!

We got a man down!

[groans]

[siren blaring]

There you are. What happened?

It was Carrie.

She made Gumball
go on a crazy junk-food spree.

You got to eat all that food?

Awesome!

No, it wasn't.

Muffin top!

It's only funny
when it's someone else's body!

I can't eat a thing after last night.

Carrie's got a real problem.

She made me eat until I passed out.

I cannot let that happen again.

Hey, Gumball.
Feel like helping me eat this sandwich?

Uh, sorry, Carrie.

I'm not sure I want to do that again.

The cafeteria doesn't do refunds, Gumball.

[sighs] OK.

But just for this one--

-[groans]
-[siren blaring]

Hey, Gumball!

-It's happened again, hasn't it?
-Yep!

But I think I have an idea.

If Carrie likes going inside your body
so much,

we should make your inside
somewhere she won't like.

How?

By drinking this.

♪ Da-da-da-daah! ♪

Your rancid fish-bowl water?

And the sweaty juice
of Tobias' headband...

a generous sprinkling
of Miss Simian's dandruff...

fifteen-day-old underpants...

What? Where are you gonna get--

Oh.

And fizzy fish gas.

[Gumball] It's disgusting.

It's ghost-proof.

Finished?

Come on, Gumball.

You got to drink it all.

Nearly there, buddy.

Now close your eyes and open wide!

Here comes dessert.

Mmm, mmm, mmm.

This is so good.

[sighs]

[school bell rings]

Hi, Leslie.

How you doin', Bobert?

Hey, Sussie.

How's your hot chocolate?

Hey, Gumball.

[sniffs] Oh. That smell.

I know.

Horrible, isn't it?

Hmm. I love it.

Smells like the undead.

Makes me... hungry.

[sighs]

[grunting]

Hey, son. What's up?

What do you do
when someone asks you for something

and you don't want to do it?

Well, people ask me to do things
all the time

but do you ever see me doing anything?

Not really.

Exactly!

Son, it's time I taught you
about weaseling.

Weaseling?

Allow me to demonstrate.

Ask me for something.

OK.

Can you tell me how to stop Carrie
from using my body?

Well, I'd love to,
but I have to go and take the meatloaf

that I've been baking out of the oven.

End of lesson!

Well, I'd love to, Carrie,

but, unfortunately,
I have to go check on my meatloaf.

Your meatloaf?

Yeah. I left it in my locker.

You mean this locker?

Uh, n-no.

My... my gym locker.

You don't have a gym locker.

Yes, I meant Jim's locker.

Who's Jim?

He's... my doctor?

You mean your meatloaf
is in your doctor's locker here at school?

Yeah, it's because
we're having thanksgiving here--

Whatever, you can have my body.

Mom, I think I might be putting on weight.

Oh, no, it's just baby fat, dear.

Come on inside. We'll have a chat.

Oh, perhaps you have gained a little.

I know. It's Carrie.

I don't know how to get her to stop.

Go and sit down, honey. We need to talk.

[grunts]

So, have you actually
tried saying no to Carrie?

Huh? "No"?

Why didn't I think of that?

But when you say no, you have to mean it.

Let me show you.

Richard, can you come here, please?

[groans]

Yeah?

Could you get me the bowl of sausages
from the kitchen, dear?

Oh.

Can I have one?

No.

You'll have to wait.

Oh.

Now, once you've made your position clear,

-you have--
-Can I have it now?

No.

You have to stand firm
and make sure you never--

What about now?

No! That would be a bad Richard,
wouldn't it?

What I'm trying to say is,
just say no and mean it.

Awesome.

So, can I have a sausage?

No, we're putting you on a diet.

[school bell ringing]

Careful, Gumball.
Carrie may be hanging around.

Don't worry.
This time, I know what I'm doing.

Hey, Gumball.

Can I borrow your--

No.

No? What do you mean, no?

-I mean you can't use my body anymore.
-Hmm.

B-- But you don't know what it's like.
Please, Gumball!

No, Carrie. You cannot borrow my body.

Then... then... I'll take it!

[Darwin screams]

[growls]

Carrie, get out of my body!

There's no use resisting, Gumball.

Everyone, run! Your lunch is in danger!

[growling continues]

{\an }[all screaming]

Hey!

[screams]

Stop it!

You're freaking our friends out!

Don't care. Must eat.

OK, you asked for this!

You shouldn't have done that!

You're crazy!

Cut that out! I'll--

[grunts]

[in Carrie's voice] Stand down, Gumball!

[Gumball] Never!

[in Carrie's voice] My eyes!

Give me more food!

You ate it all.

You can lick the ladle if you like.

-Get off!
-Stop it!

Get off!

Take that!

What are you looking at?

[all screaming]

That doesn't bend that way!
Help me, Darwin!

[grunts] I can't do this on my own!

You're gonna have to b*at this ghost
out of me!

But I'm a paci-fish.

Please! Do it for me! I'm your friend!

[screams and grunts]

Carrie, stop doing this!

-You've got a serious problem!
-No, I haven't.

You're drinking dumpster water
and eating garbage!

Look!

What's that?

It's a flip-flop, Carrie.

A flip-flop!

Ew. Maybe I have gone a bit too far.

Uh, yeah.

Anyway, listen, Carrie.

I was thinking--

Scary ghost!

Scary ghost!

Scary ghost! Oh, hi, Carrie.

Scary ghost! Scary--

-Oh.
-Ow.

[sighs] I'm sorry
I put you through all that.

I guess I'll just go back
to my painful, foodless eternity.

No, wait!
I think I know someone who can help.

Dad?

This is Carrie.

Is it OK if she borrows your body
for a crazy junk-food spree?

Oh, yes. [mumbles]

That sounded like a "yes" to me.

[growls]

More... food!

[Nicole] No, Richard!

Richard, no! No!

That's a bad Richard!

Stop it, Richard!

Stop it!!

Another happy ending.

[theme music playing]