01x17 & 01x18 - The Party/The Refund

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

-Am I invited?
-Am I invited?

-Am I invited?
-Am I invited?

Guys! Guys!
Let me cut to the chase here, all right?

You're all invited.

Yay! A high-school party,
and we're all invited!

None of you are invited!

Oh, hi, Rachel.

My party is for young adults,

not old babies!

Tsk-tsk-tsk.

Rachel, Rachel, Rachel.

Wouldn't it be a shame if Mom and Dad
found out about your secret party?

[all] Tsk-tsk-tsk.

Rachel, Rachel, Rachel.

-Fine. You can come.
-[Tobias] Awesome.

But you all have to bring...

-a date!
-[all] A date?

Uh-huh.

Good luck.

[screaming]

What's a date?

Hey! What's a date?

Hmm, a secret house party, eh?

I'd better tell Principal Brown.

[Gumball] All right, buddy,
let's make a list of possible dates.

What's a date?

-[beeps]
-Date. D-A-T-E.

Social activity undertaken
by two people to assess

their suitability for a relationship.

It is also a fruit that makes you poop.

Yeah...

Thanks?

Hey, what about Penny?

Huh, Penny?

Oh, no, no, no.

I just like her as a friend.

Why are your eyes shaped like hearts?

-Allergies.
-Oh.

Well, what about Carrie?

-[Gumball] Carrie. She's got spirit.
-[munching]

I'll put her in the "maybes." Next.

Teri.

Nicely drawn features but a little flat.

I'll put her in the "possiblys." Hmm.

Carmen, prickly but smart.

Interesting.

Um, Sussie.

No.

What's that?

"Would you be the jelly
in my peanut butter sandwich?"

Hmm.

What do you say, Gumball?

Eh, no, thanks. I already ate.

All right, buddy, it's date time!

Hey, Masami! Want to be my date?

You're not really my type
'cause I usually like attractive girls,

but, hey, beggars can't be choosers!

You are a girl, right?

What? [screams]

[coughs]

How about you, Teri? You look desperate.

-Was that a slap?
-Yes.

Uh, ouch?

Ah. Hey, Sussie, it's your lucky day.

You're my date for the party.
What do you say?

[gasps]

[laughing]

Date fail!

Come on, prickles, let's roll!

Aw!

[Richard] Oh, cheer up, Gumball.

When I was your age,
I needed a date for a party,

and what I said to her was...

[mumbling]

...and years later,
we're still married.

Oh, Dad, you make it sound so easy.

Are you sure
you've asked every girl in class?

-You didn't ask Penny.
-Penny?

She's too hot.

Not-- Not hot. Not... my type.
Not my type. [chuckles nervously]

Well, if it's not Penny,

there's still one girl you haven't asked.

Really? Who?

Oh, her.

[phone ringing]

Hi, this is Gumball Watterson calling.

Will you be my date for the party?

Uh...

No, you weren't exactly
the first girl I asked, but...

No! No, no, no! Don't hang up!

Please, I can beg.

Yes, I'm on my knees.

Hey, I'm not saying that!

No! No, no, no! Please, don't hang up!

[sighs]

Fine. I, Gumball Watterson,
have a stupid face stuck on a big,

stupid head with a tiny, stupid brain,
and stupid is my favorite color.

[gasps] You will?

Thank you, thank you, thank you so much!

I'll pick you up at : .

[grunts]

Yes!

See, Darwin?

No girl can resist me.

I'm so proud of you.

My baby boy's becoming a man!

Hmm. Yeah. Keep it together, Dad.

It seems like only yesterday
we were watching

Daisy the Donkey together.

Dad, that was yesterday.

Well, it feels like a long time ago.

And look at you now!

Dating a girl!

-Hey.
-Hello.

Hi, Penny.

Yeah. Hi, Gumball.

So, uh... I didn't realize
you were coming with Hector.

I didn't realize you like lizard breath.

Hmm.

I feel awkward.

Oh, more guests have arrived.

Shall we make our move?

Patience, Nigel.

Let's wait until it's in full swing.

Ugh. Tobias!

More of your dweeb, loser,
baby friends have arrived.

[panting] Guys! Guys!
This party is totally off the hook!

[music playing]

[scatting and humming]

Anyone for more tea?

Don't mind if I do.

Whoo-ho!

This is such fun!

This is a high-school party?

I know.

It's awesome!

Whee!

Want to dance?

You go ahead.

I'll join you later.

-Wow! Wow!
-[laughing]

I'm having the time of my life!

[doorbell rings]

This party is busted!

Busted wide open!

Busted.

Now for some real music!

[rock music playing]

-Yaaaa!
-Yaaa!

-[Lucy] Rock!
-[all] Rock!

Hey, look!

I'm gonna throw the TV out of the window!

Please-- allow me.

No! Not the TV!

[screaming]

That's my girl! Whoo-hoo!

[cheering]

Hey, dude, I'm trying to sleep here!

Sorry.

[crying]

-Hello!
-[continues crying]

Hey, why are you crying?

Because this is the worst party ever!

I invited everybody,
and none of my friends turned up!

Well, we all came, and we're your friends.

You guys aren't my friends.

You just trashed my parents' house!

-[glass shattering]
-[laughing]

Don't worry. I'll tidy it up.

Yeah, sure.

-You're gonna tidy all this up?
-Of course!

Don't you know I'm part sucker fish?

Thanks. What's your name?

Darwin Raglan Caspian

Ahab Poseidon Nicodemius

Watterson III.

[laughs] You don't seem so bad for a kid.

[dance music playing]

[snoring]

[laughs] I'm doing the mashed potato!

[gasps] Thirsty!

Hey. How's your date?

Great. How's yours?

Hector's not really my type.

Gumball, do you remember that paper plane?

Um...

Oh, yeah.

"Will you be the jelly
in my peanut butter sandwich"?

I wasn't really hungry.

No, silly.

I was the peanut butter.

What? Oh...

I was supposed to be the jelly, wasn't I?

You seriously didn't understand?

Uh... No.

Hey, Tina, can I have the next dance?

-You can have this one.
-[thud]

Finished!

Darwin!

You're the best kid ever!

How come you don't have a girlfriend?

What do I need a girlfriend for?

This. Mwah.

[whispers] Everything is so clear now.

-Is he gonna be all right?
-Yeah, yeah, he'll be fine.

Uh...

-Penny?
-Yes?

Um, I was thinking about the,
you know, next party.

Maybe you could be the sandwich

in my peanut-jelly-butter...
You know what I mean.

Yeah. I'd love to.

[horn honking]

I think your dad's here.

Oh, well. Time to go.

I guess.

Come on, buddy.

[grunts]

Thanks for the party!

I love you, Penny!

What did I say that for?

Is that really the best we can do?

I think he's awesome.

I like the new one better.

Who? What? Penny?
Oh, no, I don't love her.

I mean, love her.

I mean, like her.

Can we go home, please?

And how was the party for you, Darwin?

I don't know how to
exactly put it into words, but...

[yodeling]

[keys clinking]

[door opens]

[door closes]

[Tobias' mom] See? Didn't I tell you

we could trust
Rachel and Tobias while we were away?

[Tobias' dad scoffs] Wait till we see
the phone bill.

Look, Darwin.
We waited more than seven months for this.

I know! We waited so long,
I had time to grow hair.

Huh?

Whoa!

-May I touch it?
-You may.

-Nice.
-Thanks.

Come on! Put the game on!

Come on, come on.

Oh, there you are.

-There's something wrong with it!
-Try the other way around!

[grunts]

[Darwin] Come on!

Can't you see I'm practically
flipping my flippers?

-What is that supposed to mean?
-It means put the game on!

I can't! It's not working!

I think we got stiffed.

I'm sorry, kids, but it's store policy.

-I can't give you a refund.
-What? You have to!

We asked you a ton of questions
before we bought it, remember?

-What's bigger-- a lion or a tiger?
-A tiger.

-Why is the sky blue?
-Diffraction of light through nitrogen.

-Can anything escape from a black hole?
-Not unless it's a superheated quasar.

-What is , times , ?
- , , .

If you know all this stuff,
how come you're a store clerk?

-Look, you want this game or not?
-We'll take it.

Actually, you never asked me
anything about the game.

Oh, you're right.

But whatever!
You have to give us a refund!

It's been less than hours!

Look, guys, if it was up to me,
I'd totally give you a refund,

but the manager won't allow it.

[electronic noises]

[laughs nervously] I'm... I'm sorry,
but that's the way it is.

Thanks for shopping at Ripley .

This is not the end of it,
Larry Needlemeyer!

Mark my words!

We will get a refund!

-Hi, Larry. Can we have a refund, please?
-Get out of here!

Ripley .

More like "rip-off" !

Why is it , anyway?

It's not like it's the future anymore!

[phone rings]

Hi. Yes, Mr. Manager. I, uh...

No, sir, I certainly didn't
give a refund to those kids.

Yes, I brought your suit
to the dry cleaners

and walked your dogs.

Actually, the big one bit me.

Oh, yes, he... he can be playful.

This is why I was seven minutes late.

Oh, yes, Mr. Manager,
sir, it was entirely my fault.

It won't happen again, sir. Have a nice--

-[cuts call]
-Oh.

[Gumball over loudspeaker]
This is the police! You're surrounded!

-Put your hands where I can see them!
-[gasps]

Now put your hands on the cash
register and take out $ !

Now come outside and swap it
for this computer game!

Hey! What kind of police are you?

[Gumball] The... super-real police.

The... Refund Department... of Justice!

Nice try, kids.

[Gumball] Darn!

Oh. Look, kids,
I'm not gonna give you a refund.

We're not here to ask for a refund.

We just want you to look
at my new, shiny watch.

I, eh... It's kind of hard when

you... swing... it... like... that.

Did it work? Is he hypnotized?

Let's test it.

OK.
You're the world's most amazing dancer.

[both laughing]

OK, now...

Now you're an ostrich.

No, a gorilla!

A gorilla ostrich!

[imitates a gorilla and ostrich]

And have roller skates on!

[Gumball] And your butt's on fire!

[groans]

And now you're a store clerk
giving us a refund?

Sorry. It's against store policy.

[sighs] Now your butt's on fire again.

[Larry screams]

Oh, come on. I told you-- no refund.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

We're not going to ask you for a refund.

We just want two minutes of your time.

Every year, hundreds of children
buy faulty computer games

and don't get refunds.

This is Jimmy.

Jimmy really needed a refund,

but the store manager
wouldn't give it to him.

I don't care that you're sad, Jimmy.

It's store policy!

Jimmy's life is now very bad,

and he lives in a shoe box.

What's that, Jimmy?

Yes, yes, Jimmy.

I know you're sad and lonely.

♪ Refund the world ♪

♪ Refund it sooner ♪

♪ Uphold the rights
That little Jimmy had as a consumer ♪

♪ Now he's living in a box ♪

♪ He's a victim of deceit ♪

♪ And even though
He still had the receipt ♪

Poor Jimmy.

I... I had no idea
it was such a big problem.

Is there anything I can do?

Well, you could
look into your heart and...

Give us a refund?

-I'm sorry, but no.
-Well, you leave us no choice, Larry.

I'm gonna slap myself,

and Darwin's gonna hold his breath
until you do something!

This is on you, Larry!

Aah! You can just stop all this suffering
with just one word!

OK, OK! Please stop. Look, maybe I could--
[whimpers]

I'm sorry, but "no" means "no."

Argh!

Hey, kids! What's up?

We couldn't get a refund,
and now we're really cheesed off.

Watch your language, young man!

"Cheese" is not to be
invoked in vain in this house!

But if it's a refund you're after,

you've come to the right place--
person-- man-- rabbit.

Really? Let's go there right now!

Wait. If you're going to do something,
you got to do it right.

[rock music plays]

[grunting]

Now how do I look?

Actually, you look
like your wedding picture.

Perfect. Now, hand me that game.

[shuddering]

What do you want from me, you nut burger?

Oh, you know what we want.

We want what's rightfully ours,
and we brought our dad!

-Exactly. Uh.
-For the last time, I can't!

I wish to speak to your manager.

But you don't realize--
he's a vile, cruel beast!

-Sorry. No refund.
-Shh.

Tsk-tsk-tsk.

OK.

Here's what's gonna happen.

I'm gonna return this game
and get a refund.

Look.

-I'm putting the game on the counter.
-[whimpers]

-But--
-Easy.

Easy, pal.

Now, I'm opening the register.

No, no, no! Sir, sir, sir,
I wouldn't do that if I were you!

Well, lucky for me, I'm not you.

So now I'm going to take what you owe us.

See my hand?

Slowly, slowly.

Wait. Isn't that, like, stealing?

But you don't understand!
You can't take money out of the register!

You can only put it in!

[alarm beeping]

No!

We're doomed!

[screams] What's going on?

He's coming!

Who's coming?

-The manager!
-[Richard screams]

I'm putting it back! I'm putting it back!

I'm putting it back!

[Richard screams]

Please! Don't hurt me!

It's not even my fault!

-It's their fault!
-What?

When you said you'd get us a refund,

we didn't expect you to
steal from the register!

You know very well I can't be trusted!

Look at you! I thought you were going
to be some huge dude!

The look on our faces! Whoa!

I mean, where's the light in your office?

It must be on the floor
in the back of the room or something!

Phew.

So, can we have our refund now?

No refund!

Oh, come on.

We've all had a laugh and a little fright,

but I think it's time to just
give us our money back,

and we'll be on our way.

I've had it with you and your brats
trying to mess with my money!

You think you can steal from me
and laugh in my face?

[laughs] You're adorable!

But, seriously, though,
you don't want this to get physical.

You're lucky I'm a pacifist.

Ow.

Ow! Get him off! Get him off!

-Get him off!
-Go, Dad!

Come on, Dad! You got him!

He's inside my pants!

-Get him out.
-Yeah, kick his butt, Dad!

Come on, Dad! You can take him!

-Dad?
-Get him off!

Get him off! Aah! Ow!

He's not winning, is he?

-No.
-What's wrong with you? Ow! Ow!

Doesn't really hurt that much. But... Ow!

Oh, no!

My beautiful face!

Gumball! Darwin!

Do something!

This is getting kind of embarrassing.

No!

Don't abandon me, please!

Ow! Ow! Ow! Aah!

He's biting my neck
with his little teeth, and it tickles!

-Stop right there, little man!
-Yeah!

-Leave Mr. Dad alone! Otherwise--
-Otherwise what?

Otherwise, we'll put
the security video online.

What do you think the Internet
will say when it sees you

slapping your customers
with your little hands?

That it's pretty funny?

Yeah, it was pretty funny.

But you'll probably get a modest fine

and a couple of days of community service.

So?

So the shop will be closed.

-And?
-And you'll lose money.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

No need to get excited.

OK, look, I can't give you a refund.

It's a matter of principle.

But since I find you quite pathetic,

I'll give you a % discount
on this new game console.

That way, you can play the game
you've already got.

What do you say?

Hmm. One percent.

So, $ .

That's, like, $ off!

Now, that's what I call a bargain!

-Can we have your credit card, Mr. Dad?
-Totally.

[all] Whoo-hoo!

Can't believe I got b*at up
by a garden gnome.

Oh, come on. It was pretty funny.

Like when you were screaming,

-"No, no, my beautiful face!"
-[Gumball laughs]

And when he was pounding on you from above

and it looked like a tennis ball
bouncing on a melon.

[Gumball and Darwin laugh]

And thanks to me,
we did get a huge discount on the console.

Come on! Put the game on!

Yes!

[shredding]

Dad, he sold us a shredder.

[sighs]