01x28 & 01x29 - The Club/The Wand

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

[Richard panting]
Come on, you guys! We're gonna be late!

Remind me again exactly why
we're at school on a Saturday.

Are you kidding me? It's Club Day.

It's the only day of the week
when I get to hang out

with people I really like.

[all] What?

Uh... Got to go!

OK... See you all back here at : .

But wait! I don't have a club to go to!

Well, Mom, looks like it's your lucky day.

I'm coming with you
to your Anger Management Club.

Oh, that's sweet, Gumball,

but behind this door,
I'm a very different person.

Trust me, you don't want to see this.

[Mr. Small] Hello, Nicole. Welcome to--

[groans]

Could you guys keep it down a little?

[Nicole] You keep it down!!

Hey, Anais. What club are you in?

-Physics Club.
-Well, today's your lucky day, because I--

[Anais] Let me stop you right there.

You know there are different types
of intelligence?

Yeah.

I don't think you have any of them.

-I don't get it.
-Exactly.

Oh, come on! Oh, let me in!

Don't be a club hog!

Fine.

Dad, can I join your Fantasy Club?

Who be there?

-It's me, Gumball.
-Be you orc?

-No.
-Be you dwarf?

No, I'm your son.

Be you bearer of savory snacks
for the elders?

-What? No.
-Then begone!

[groans]

What's up?

Man, there's got to be a club
for me somewhere.

-You could always join my club.
-What is it?

Synchronized swimming!

Mmm. You're good, but I can do better.

Here comes
the Swan Dive of Eternal Beauty!

[bird call]

[coughing and wretching]

So, how graceful was that?

Dude, you can't swim.

[cough] Fair point.

Uh, has anyone seen my trunks?

[Banana Joe] Yeah!

-Touchdown!
-All right!

Slam-dunk!

[both] Yeah!

Hey, guys. Is this the Football Club?

Yeah!

-Well, uh, did I miss the game?
-No, it's going on right out there.

Why aren't you playing?

-'Cause we're the reserve team!
-We're the reserve team!

Cool. So, can I join?

I don't know. Are you man enough?

[scoffs] Me? I'm at least % man.

Well, in that case, here's your towel.

Thanks.

So... Do you guys ever get to play?

Nah, we just hang out here
and act kinda sporty.

You guys just take showers,
hang around in towels,

and high-five each other?

There's a little bit more to it than that.

Ow! OK, OK--

Ow! OK, OK!

[all laughing]

Hey, Hector, is the game over?

[Hector] Yeah. We lost.

Uh-oh!

What?

-[whiplash]
-[all screaming]

[wincing and groaning]

[bolts locking]

Oh, why doesn't anyone want me
in their club?

It can't have anything to do with me,
my talent, my intelligence,

or my general awesomeness.

You know what?

Too bad for you jealous people,
'cause I'm starting my own club,

and you are not invited!

OK, I'd like to welcome everyone
to "Gumball's Club of Gumball."

First order of business, attendance.

Mmm. Pretty good.

Now, it seems like recently
we've been let down by certain

family members.
So I propose a little exercise in trust.

OK, don't worry, Gumball.

Just close your eyes, let yourself
fall back, and someone will catch you.

Well, I'm a bit scared, Gumball.

Well, that's why it's called
a trust exercise.

Come on, dude.

Mmm... OK.

[inhales]

[groans]

[sighs]

All in favor of disbanding
the club, say, "Aye."

Aye.

Motion carried.

Aw, man. I'm such a reject.

I wish there was a club
for people like me that no one liked.

I'd join that club in a second.

I wouldn't even care what it was about.

[disembodied voices whispering]

[Gumball] Uh?

Uh, what's going on?

Look no further, fellow loser.

What the...

We are the unsought, the weird.

Let me introduce you to...

the Reject Club!

Always accepting new members.

Pbfft. Thanks. I'm desperate,
but not that desperate.

No, wait! We really need new members.

We're so bored of talking to each other,

we've been phoning up the speaking clock
for conversation.

If you want, you could be our president
or something.

Or, or, or even better, our king!

Picture this, Gumball Watterson,
king of the Rejects!

Pbfft. What? King of the Rejects?
Seriously?

[amused chuckle]

Thanks for the offer, guys,
but it's a "no."

King of the Rejects.

He rejected us.

And laughed at our loneliness.

Well, we'll see if he's still too good
for us when we've finished with him.

To the nerd-mobile!

[humming Batman theme]

Rejected, even by my own family!

Look, honey, you're not a baby anymore.

You need to be able to do things
on your own.

Oh, there must have been one club
that wanted you.

Yeah, the Rejects Club.

But I politely declined.

[screams]

Oh, it's OK.

It landed in the vegetables.

[screams] The cake!

Look, there's a DVD tied to it.

[beep]

Greetings, Gumball Watterson,
from our secret lair.

Isn't that just the library?

-There's more!
-So, you think you're too good for us, eh?

Well, you'll soon change your mind
when we upload your embarrassing

school record in a web video
hosted by none other than you.

My name is Gumball Watterson,
and my IQ is smaller than my shoe size.

I wore diapers up till the age of ,

and I once got detention
for calling Miss Simian, "Mum."

[gasp] He looks just like you!

Our revenge plan is almost complete.

[computer] Uploading.
minutes till completion.

[laughter]

And... cut. How was I? Evil enough?

Oh, great. Now the nerds are bullying me.

I guess you want me to deal
with this on my own.

No.

When someone picks a fight with one of us,
they pick a fight with all of us.

Everybody, get in the car.
We've still got time to stop them.

But where is their secret hideout?

It's in the library!

[tires screeching]

No! It's locked!

My reputation is ruined!

No, not yet.

Quick, someone make me angry.

I taped a wrestling match
over our wedding video.

[scream increasing in pitch]

Go on without me!

I'm out of control!

Thou shalt not pass!

You've crossed the wrong wizard,
young man! I am level !

Let the battle commence!

Hurrah! I get the first sh*t.

Meteor sword!

He's good, but I can't afford to lose.

Magic m*ssile!

Boing! Deflected by the Shield of Zanthor!

[gasp] Free spell!

You'll have to go without me.
I'm stuck for the next two turns.

Come on! The computer's just up ahead!

Watch out!

[all gasp]

[relaxed chuckle]
Relax. It's only Bobert. I can take him.

Initiating combat mode.

[rapid beeping]

[roars]

Don't worry, guys. I got this.

[scream increasing in pitch]

What are you doing?

Leave it to me. Just go around him.

Are you sure you're gonna be OK?

Don't worry. The power of physics
has never failed me yet!

The computer!
This is our chance to stop the upload.

Thirty seconds to completion.

[Gumball gasps] There's a guard!

[chuckles]

That guy looks pretty dangerous.

What are we gonna do?

Leave it to me.

-[Darwin] Come on, punk.
-Huh?

Let's dance.

[ballet music playing]

Such grace!

The rhythm...

Must... synchronize!

Thanks, buddy.

[automated female voice]
Five seconds to completion.

Yes! My reputation is safe.

Four seconds till completion.

[powering down]

Three seconds.

Two seconds.

One second till completion.

[grunting]

Upload complete.

No!

Sending to all school contacts.

My name is Gumball Trisha Watterson.

That's right,
Trisha is my middle name, and I was born

without eyebrows
and need to draw them on every day.

On hot days, I smell like pate,

and teachers are advised
not to mention it.

Also, I have a glandular problem
that causes inflammation--

OK! OK. You win.

I'll join your club.

Are you kidding?
Have you seen your school record?

We're desperate,
but we're not that desperate.

[club members laughing]

Great.

Rejected by the Reject Club.

Well, that's my reputation ruined
until college.

No, it isn't.

I counter-hacked the main school server
and rerouted the e-mail

before it got to anyone.

[sighs] Oh, thank you, sis.

Don't worry.
We'll always be there for you.

You're part of the Watterson Club...
Trisha.

Yeah, and whose great idea was that?

What's wrong with it?
It's short for "Tristopher."

Richard, I thought
we agreed on "Christopher."

Christopher, Tristopher,
same thing, right?

So, what shall we do with these guys?

Well, I think the responsible thing
to do would be

to drive them home
and tell their parents what they've done.

No?

Then how about we spray you in honey
and drop you off in

the bear cage at the zoo?

OK, maybe you'd prefer to be dropped off
naked at the mall?

All those in favor, say, "Aye."

-Aye!
-Aye!

[Gumball] Motion carried.

[grunting]

I think lunch is the best,
because you've already had breakfast.

But you still have dinner
to look forward to.

[gasps] A plastic magic wand!

[both] Sweet!

Make a wish!

I wish I had six eyes.

One, two...

Maybe you have to wave it.

I wish Gumball had six eyes.

One...

two...

-This magic wand is weak.
-[gasp] Magic wand?

-Can I have a turn?
-Sure, but it doesn't really--

Cool!

With this, I can make
all my wishes come true.

My first wish is that this wand
doesn't turn out

to be a big fraud,
like that stupid wishbone!

What wishbone?

Well, when I was a boy about your age...

I wish that the sausages
would fly into my mouth!

Mom, I made a wish on the wishbone,
and nothing happened!

What did you think,
that it was gonna come true?

Magic isn't real.

[gasp] You mean, it's... a fraud?

Yeah. It's a fraud.

No!

[continues screaming]

[Richard]
And I didn't stop screaming for years.

[inaudible]

[shushing]

I never believed in anything again.

But I believe this will be different.

Now, I've got some wishing to do!

[giggling]

You know what this means, Darwin.

We have to make sure
all of Dad's wishes come true.

Why?

Because if we don't, he'll never be able
to believe in anything again.

And he might go crazy and start screaming.

We have to make sure
he thinks that wand is real.

Yeah!

I wish for sausages to fly into my mouth.

[ghostly sounds]

[exclaims]

I think you and me are gonna be friends.

-[water gurgling]
-Uh?

Oh!

I wish the sink was fixed.

-Well, how do you fix the sink?
-I don't know.

Quick! Mr. Dad's gonna find out
the wand's not real!

You are truly powerful.
I shall name you... Wanda,

the Wonderful Wand of Wonder!

Quick, I think
Dad's gonna make another wish.

I wish it was raining pancakes!

[laughing excitedly]

I wish, I wish it was Christmas every day.

-Ow!
-["Wish you a Merry Christmas" playing]

Ho, ho, ho!

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Oh!

I wish... [groans] I wish I was taller.

Now I'm a giant!

I wish... I wish I had a monster truck.

[engine rumbling]

Yeah, a monster-truck T-shirt.

[beeping]

I wish...

I wish I could be invisible.

Come on, Darwin. Just do what I do.

Where's Dad?

I wonder where he's gone.

Look, he left his wand floating in midair.

He's here.

Come on, Darwin. Let's go and find him.

-But he's here.
-Darwin!

[Richard] I wish...

I wish I wasn't so hot.

[exclaiming]

[sighs contently]

Not again.

Mr. Watterson!

Would you kindly refrain
from offending my wife's eyeballs

with your public display of vulgarity?

[Richard] Oh.

Sorry, Mr. Robinson.

Hey.

Wait a second.

You picked the wrong day to mess with...

-the Bunny Warlock!
-Sorry, what?

If it's a fight you want,
it's a fight you've got!

But I think I should warn you,

I have supernatural powers!

The only thing supernatural
about you is your ignorance.

[both laughing]

I wouldn't be laughing if I was facing

the Mighty Bunny Warlock!

The only thing mighty about
you is your ignorance.

I used the same joke again.

Perhaps you haven't noticed
my magic wand and my cape!

You don't have a cape.

Mm?

I wish for a cape.

You look ridiculous.

You leave me no choice, sir.

I wish... I wish...

Here we go.

I wish you looked ridiculous!

Huh?

Horrible! Take it off! Take it off!

Cover your eyes, woman!

No! Put it back on! Put it back on!

And I wish your wife's head was a melon.

[screaming]

Now... I wish you would fly away
out of my sight.

You dared to doubt the all-powerful
Bunny Warlock!

I can't hold it any longer!

Now, begone!

[impact grunts]

[chuckles away]

He really is a wizard.

Run, Margaret, run!

[maniacal laughter]

Mr. Dad's turning evil.

Maybe it's time we told him the truth.

But if we tell him the truth,
he's gonna get upset,

like when he was a boy.

Ah, you're right.

I know!

We're gonna have to take the wand back!

Is there nothing you can't do, Wanda?

I think I finally understand
your true power!

I wish...

I wish... I--

[Gumball] This has gone on long enough.

What are you doing here?

This wand, it has made you evil.

-We're taking it back.
-Hmph.

You think that you mere mortals
have the power to challenge me?

Come, take the wand if you dare.

Slip-over spell!

We've got to do it.

It'll break his heart if he finds out.

[laughing]

Can't you see what you've become?

I can see perfectly clearly.

I have become a master wizard!

Slow-motion spell!

It's power has overtaken you.

Reverse spell!

You overtaken has power it's!

No, it's more like...

Love spell!

[sighs]

[nervous chuckles]

Inside-out spell!

Gross!

Back-to-normal spell!

[evil laughter]

Give us the wand!

Never!

I wish your face was his butt
and his butt was your face!

-Really?
-I wished it, didn't I?

Now I wish that your butt was his face
and his face was your butt!

I wish that your face was kissing his butt

and his butt was kissing your face!

This has got to stop.

Dad!

We've got something to tell you.

What's going on? Why have you stopped?

That wand's a fake.

It's just a plastic toy,
free from a cereal packet.

[laughing dismissively]

What nonsense!

If that's true, how do you explain this?
Flying spell!

Ow!

It was us.

We've been making it happen
right from the start.

I hope you're not mad at us.

You mean, you two kids
spent the whole day making

incredible wishes come true?

You did that all for me?

Of course!

Even when I made
your butt kiss his face and his face

kiss your butt, you did that for me?

Mm-hmm.

Come here and give me a big hug.

But hang on.

If you were making my wishes come true,

doesn't that mean that Wanda
the Wonderful Wand of Wonder is a fraud?

Uh...

Yeah.

A fraud?

[Gumball] Uh...

[Richard] No!

[laughing] It's mine!
The power is all mine!

I wish you didn't have
that ridiculous haircut.

[groans]

I wish I hadn't said that.

[theme music playing]