04x17 & 04x18 - The Hug/The Wicked

[bunniefuu]

[ Upbeat music plays ]

Ugh!
This spaghetti tastes like --

Like somebody
already ate it.

Hey, rocky.

Don't go too far away
with bucket 'cause --

'Cause I'll be needing it
any second.

Can I get
this pasta to go...

Straight in the trash,
that is.

Dude, how do you know
everything I'm gonna say?

Because that's what you say
every time we have pasta.

Both: what the what?
I am not that predictable.

Okay, predict this.

Hweeh!
Nn-nn-nn-nn-nn.

Huh?
How predictable was that?

Predictable enough for me
to bring you a spare sweater.

[ Roars ]

Thank you, though.
That's very thoughtful.

Right.
How about, uh, maybe -- this!

Nn-nn-nn-nn!
Bla-la-la! Pbht-pbht!

[ Giggles ]

Huh?
Is this predictable?

Yeah, I'd say you've done it
a few times.

It's all right,
I forgive you.
For what?

For trying to pinch me
after saying...

Both: bet you didn't see
this coming.

[ Panting ]

Eh!

[ Whimpers ]

I'll prove
I'm unpredictable.

I know,
this is the part

When you get yourself
into some weird situation,

And then when I try
to warn you about it,

You'll just say,
"pbht."

Hey, jamie.

[ Gasps ] aha.

Hey, buddy.

I-i think you got
the wrong person.

How you doing?
Aw.

I'm good.
[ Chuckles ] thanks.

Uh-huh.

[ School bell rings ]

[ Gumball whistling ]

Oh.

Heeeey!
[ Chuckles ]

Nice to see you.

Yeeaaah.
How you doing...bro?

[ Both chuckle ]

Uh.

[ Chuckles ]

Well, uh...
[ Chuckles ]

[ Clicks tongue ]

[ Smack! ]
[ Smack! ]

Why did you hug him
again?
I had to!
You can't de-hug a person.

Once you've hit the hug level,
you got to stay there.

Predictably, you're gonna deny
this is a problem,

And it's gonna get weird.

Pbht!

Uh.

okay, okay,
you got this.

don't be too friendly.
just a quick professional hug.

oh, man, I hope
he doesn't want to hug again.

[ Chuckles ]
aw.

darn it!

Hi, buddy.
[ Chuckles ]

okay, just a quick casual
hello, and move on.

Hey, duuuu...

no, dude is too friendly.
abort, abort!

♪ Doo, doo, doo

what? Okay.

Both:
♪ doo, doo-doo, doo-doo
doo, doo, doo-doo, doo-doo... ♪

[ Both inhale sharply ]

Okay, okay,
see you after class.
See you
next wednesday, man.

It'll be -- I'll be --
[ honk! ]

Hey! Muh man.
[ Chuckles ]

There's my man.
[ Chuckles ]

That you? [ Chuckles ]
yeah, that's muh man.

[ Sighs ]

Uh, bring-bring!
Oh, it's the legend phone.

Hello? Yeah, he's here.
It's for you.

legend phone?
what does that even mean?

Hello, it's me.
[ Chuckles ] the legend.

Click.

Both: uh...

[ Both chuckle ]

♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo
♪ doo-doo-doo-doo

[ Whimpers ]

It's okay, it's okay.
It's only once a day.

[ School bell rings ]

Both:
♪ doo-doo, doo, doo-doo

♪ Doo-doo, doo-doo

Look, if you want it
to stop,

You have to confront
the situation.

I can't. I need to avoid
direct confrontation.

It brings me
too much anxiety.

I'm that kind of person.

That kind of person's called
a chicken.

I like
my version better.

[ Gasps ]
oh, no, he's there!

He just keeps turning up,
and I --

[ Muffled shouts ]

Ah!
Pfft!

Oh! Ugh.

Oh!
Ah!

[ Both panting ]

[ Gasps ]

Heeeeey.

wait a minute,

i keep on pretending
to be friends with this guy,

but he doesn't even know
my name.

Hot dog guy?

huh, guess he does.

Uh... Uh...
[ Chuckles ]

Oh.

So...

Whatcha doing here?

Me? I was just in here,
uh, counting brooms.

Counting brooms?

Yeah, I just love
counting brooms.

In the dark?

Yeah, it's more challenging
that way.

Now the light's on --

I can quite clearly see
there's two brooms.

One and two.
[ Chuckles ]

[ Chuckles ]

oh, my gosh,
this guy's insane.

[ School bell rings ]

oh, no, lunchtime.
don't say it, don't say it.

Hey, what are you doing
for lunch?
gosh darn it!

okay, don't say cafeteria.
bluff him, bluff him.

Cafeteria!

dagnabbit, you idiot!
that was a double bluff!

Oh, man, no one's said anything
for like three minutes.

i have to make
conversation.

Hey, um,
what's your favorite subject?

Lunch. [ Laughs ]

Lunch isn't a subject.

[ Whimpers ]

Hey, you forgot
to pay.

Oh, it's okay,
I'll get this.

Okay. Gumball, is this
a friend of yours?

oh, man, oh, man, oh, man.
i can't say no.

The guy's so lonely, he spends
his spare time counting brooms.

oh, man, oh, man, oh, man.
look at his desperate face.

So?

Yes. Yes.

Hiding is not gonna make it
go away.

And why on earth would you
invite him to a sleepover?

Whoever pays for a meal
gets a sleepover.

It's a social contract.

You're talking
out of your back side, dude.

At least you'll be there
to support me.

Nope, sorry.

I'm having a sleepover
at banana joe's.

I predicted
you'd do something like this,

So I thought I'd get out
of the house for the evening.

Fine, I don't need you!
I still got anais.

Nope, you made your bed.

Now you have to awkwardly lie
next to a stranger in it.

Bye!

No!

[ Screams ]

[ Crickets chirping ]

i can't tell if he's asleep.
he's got no eyes.

do I have to make
conversation?

[ Snores ]

oh, thank goodness.
i can finally relax.

[ Sighs ]

[ Chuckles, gasps ]

okay, okay.

i'll just move his hand
very slowly.

what the?!

oh, man! Okay.

Both:
♪ doo-doo, doo-doo...

[ School bell rings ]

Sleep well?

Not only did I not sleep,
I may never sleep again.

So what are you gonna do?

I'm gonna man up
and put an end to this!

You're just gonna make yourself
so dislikable

That he has to take
responsibility

For the end of the friendship,
aren't you?

Uh --
and first,
you're gonna deny it.

Uh --

Ugh.

♪

right, let him make
the first move.

then, as soon as he opens
his arms, blank him.

boom!
♪ cold-blooded

no dancing.

just don't give in.
don't give into it.

just keep going.
just keep going.

what? No.
arms, get down!

no, his arms --
they're triggering mine.

♪

sorry,
anonymous blue stranger.

it was you or me.

he left me hanging
so I would get mad at him

and would be forced to man up
and end our friendship.

what kind of a monster
would do that?

well, apart from me.

okay, if I don't want
to be the bad guy,

i'm gonna have to be
the worse guy.

[ Hot dog guy whistling ]

Gumball: careful the water's
not too hot!

[ Hot dog guy screams ]

Oh, too cold?
Oh, no, no.
[ Clears throat ]

[ Deep voice ]
it's fine.

One, two...

Have a good swim!
[ Screams ]

[ Glass shatters ]

[ Laughs ]
hey, buddy.

Lunch is on me
this time.

[ Gasps ]

Anything wrong?

[ Chuckles ] no.

How do you like it?

Delicious.

oh, my gosh. Ah!
[ gags ]

Mmm.

Aww.
You really shouldn't have.

[ Hisses ]

Aw, thanks,
you got me a snake.

Well, I didn't want it
to be lonely, so actually...
[ Screams ]

[ Both laughing ]

Oh, I got it, buddy.

[ Smack! ]

[ Laughs ]
oh, you!

[ Laughs ]
no, you!

All right.
[ Laughs ]

Bring it in.

Both:
♪ doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo

Doo!
Doo!

Doo!

Doo-doo,
doo-doo, doo-doo!

why won't you hate me?!

hate me!

I don't even care enough
to hate you!

Oh, sorry, did I say that
out loud?

Dude, I feel
exactly the same.

Really?

It's just that I didn't want
to look like the bad guy.

Me neither.

Friends?
Eh.

I couldn't have put it
better myself.

I feel absolutely nothing
about you one way or the other.

[ Sniffles ]
and I never will.

You keep that promise.
Forgetting you already.

Oh, wait.
Could you do one thing for me?

From one stranger
to another.

♪ Doo-doo-doo,
doo-doo, doo-doo ♪

♪ Doo-doo-doo...

Didn't see that one coming,
did you?

♪

♪ Meh, meh

♪ Meh, meh, meh, meh

Meh.

Meh, meh, meh.

Not -- not for us?

Meh, meh. Meh!

-Hmm?
-Hmm?

I didn't know you liked
squirrels, mrs. Robinson.

Or the outdoors.

Or daylight.

Or anything that doesn't involve
other people suffering.

Meh.

-Thank you.
-Thank you.

[ Chittering ]

[ Laughter ]

[ Purring ]

[ Chomp! ]

Ow!

Ah! Ah! Aah!

Dude, those nuts
are coated in coffee!

[ Screaming ]

[ Laughs ]

They're storing me
for winter!

My face!

[ Grunting ]

Aah!

I mean, it only came through
my shirt, but still.

Aah!

Who -- who --
who is responsible for this?!

Meh!

[ Both gasp ]

I can't believe it!

Yeah, soaking those nuts
in prune juice was overkill.

No, I can't believe

Mrs. Robinson
could be that evil.

Dude,
no one is truly evil.

Darwin, she's "blame two kids
for her crimes

And make them do
community service" evil.

Ah, she's more evil
than that.

She's "heart so dark
that it's a black hole" evil.

Wall street evil.

Dang it,
still not right.

[ Gasps ]

She's "ads before
your video loads" evil.

Gumball, there's no such thing
as evil people,

Just ordinary people who do bad
things because they're unhappy.

-Jump.
-What?

-Jump!
-Aah!

[ Both gasp ]

[ Tires squeal ]

[ Laughing ]

That looks
pretty evil to me.

No. Nobody can be
completely evil.

[ Doorbell rings ]

Mailman -- aagh!

♪ Pain and regret
and frustration and sadness ♪

♪ Misery, turmoil,
and anger and madness ♪

♪ The smell of the garbage,
the taste of despair ♪

♪ These simple things leave me
walking on air ♪

♪ Toothache and heartburn
and bad halitosis ♪

♪ Hay fever, bunions,
and deep vein thrombosis ♪

♪ A trip to the dentist,
the sound of the drill ♪

♪ These are the things
that will give me a thrill ♪

♪ When the milk spills

♪ When your dog's ill

♪ When all hope takes flight

♪ When everyone else feels
incredibly sad ♪

♪ My world fills
with pure delight ♪

[ Tires screech ]

[ Crash! ]

[ Car alarm blares ]

[ Sobs ]

[ Bloop! ]

♪ When you slip up,
when you trip up ♪

♪ When you stub your toe

♪ I point and I cackle,
I clap and I laugh ♪

♪ And happiness starts to flow

[ Car alarms blaring ]

See? There's no goodness
in that woman!

She's a malevolent marionette
whose heart belongs to darkness.

No! I'll prove
there's some good in her.

[ Siren wails in distance ]

[ Panting ]

Meh, meh, meh.

Yeah, I know.
I lied to get you to come here.

There was no power outage
and all the patients are fine.

But look.

Look into the eyes
of that newborn baby.

Remember the time
before your first "meh, meh."

[ Coos ]

Meh.

Surely, you were
once like that --

Innocent and pure.

Nope. Says here
she's % cotton, % polyester

And made in...

The fiery pits
of the underworld.

Mrs. Robinson,
try and return

To that time of innocence
and sweetness that you --

[ Gasps ]

Did you just swap
their name tags?

[ Cries ]

[ Coos ]

[ Babies crying ]

[ Chuckles ]

How can you
enjoy this?

You're messing
with people's lives.

And one of these days,
all these...

And meh, meh, meh, meh, meh.
Meh, meh, meh, meh,

Meh, meh, meh, meh, meh,
meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh.

Dude, don't bother.
It's not getting through.

You're right. I'll try it in
a language she can understand.

Meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh.
Meh, meh, meh, meh.

Meh, meh, meh, meh.

Three times did the cheese
move sideways

To switzerland by radio.

But she never licked
that parking permit.

Meh, meh, meh,
meh, meh, meh.

Hey, you can't fight here --
aah!

[ Thud! ]

[ Laughs ]

[ Sighs ]
why doesn't she understand?

Aw, it's maybe not that
you don't speak her language,

It's that she doesn't
have a soul.

[ Doorbell rings ]
all we got to do

Is find out
what made her so evil.

Hmm.
What do you want?

Oh, hi, mr. Robinson,
we're here to...

Offer you a free
house-cleaning service.

Why?

Uh...

To raise money
for our school.

You're cleaning my house for
free in order to raise money?

Uh...see how bad
our logic is?

Proof that our school
needs more money

To give us
a betterer education.

On one hand,
I don't trust you.

On the other hand,
I don't trust you!

But on the third hand,
free child labor.

Oh, okay.

Thanks.
[ Honk! ]

Cleaning is kind of weird,
isn't it?

You're just moving dirt
out of your house

To make space for the dirt
you'll bring in tomorrow.

Look, her diary!

If we test each page
for pheromone levels,

We can determine
whether or not she experienced

A childhood trauma
that made her turn evil.

Or we could just read it.

Or we could just read it.

"Meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh,
meh, meh, meh.

Meh, meh, meh, meh, meh."

Read it properly.

Oh.

Here, a photo album!

She looks happy there.

Her brother doesn't.

Look, first day of school.

Yeah, probably the last
for a few others.

Christmas!

[ Gasps ] santa.

I don't want to see
any more.

Oh, wait a minute.
What about the baby pictures.

They got to be cute.

Aw.

Oh.

I guess she was just born
that way, dude.

Margaret is and will always be
a mystery.

Nothing happened in her life
to justify the way she is.

Some people aren't looking
for anything logical.

They can't be bought, reasoned,
or negotiated with.

Sometimes man just wants
to watch the world burn.

Uh, are you saying
mrs. Robinson's a man?

What? No!

Wait, you said,
"man wants to watch --"

I meant "man"
as in mankind.

But she isn't kind.

No, i-i --
oh, just get out of here.

No, you didn't imagine it.
I heard "man," too.

He said "man," right?

[ Sighs ]
anyway, what do you got there?

You'll find out.

[ Bell dings ]

Morning!

Oof!

Ooh,
a delicious chocolate egg

With a potential
choking hazard inside!

[ Munching ]

[ Coughing ]

[ Gasps ]
meh, meh!

Hmm?

[ Coughing ]
oh, come on!

Meh.

[ Gagging ]

Hey! Dude, let me help!

Mrs. Robinson,
please help!

Hold on.

Come on!

[ Gasping ]

She smiled.

I was choking.

She looked straight at me,
and she smiled.

That woman
is evil personified.

I don't want to say
I told you so,

But, well...

Well, you know how much I like
saying I told you so.

She needs to pay.

That is the only way
for her to learn.

She need to pay!

[ Static crackles ]
target in sight.

Do you have the car keys?

[ Static crackles ]
affirmative.

Operation pop the puppet
is a go.

Roger that.

Are you sure we need
walkie-talkies?

Not really.

[ Crackles ] step one,
we leave the keys in the door.

[ Crackles ] check.

[ Crackles ] step two,
mrs. Robinson walks past

And steals the keys
because she's evil.

[ Crackles ] step three,
we catch her in the act,

Take a photo,
and present to the authorities.

[ Crackles ] step four,
disrespectful victory dance.

Okay, let's go.

Meh?

Hmm.

[ Laughs ]

[ Engine turns over ]

[ Tires screech ]

[ Camera shutter clicks ]

[ Crackles ]
uh...step five?

[ Orchestral music playing ]

[ Screams ]

[ Screaming ]

I don't know,
they're wearing a bandana!

Whoa!

Aah!

[ Crash! ]

-She crashed into the cherries!
-So?

-They're genetically modified!
-[ Screams ]

[ Tires squeal ]

She's heading towards
the sports department!

[ Laughing ]

Stop the car!
The police are on their way.

Go for it, man!
I can't go on!

I got this!

Time to put the brakes
on this!

[ Tires screech ]

[ Hubcap clattering ]

[ Panting ]
mrs. Robinson!

You need to learn that your
actions have consequences!

One day, you'll understand
why we had to stop you.

It's for your own good.

[ Sirens wailing ]

Meh, meh.

What the what?!

Drop the bandana and put
your hands behind your back!

Isn't there any justice
in this universe?!

[ Tires screech ]

[ Horns blare ]

Somebody call an ambulance!

[ Screaming ]

Meh!

Meh!

[ Siren wails ]

[ Splat! ]

♪