02x01 & 02x04 - The Remote/The Fridge

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

[bugle plays]

Attention!

It's time to reach for the stars!

So, what has everyone achieved this week?

I got a science award for discovering
a new form of bacteria in the fridge, sir!

Ma'am! Mom!

-[techno music playing]
-[indistinct shouting]

Oh, that's very good, Anais!

That puts you on the... sunny cloud!

Just below the star,

where I am for b*ating everyone
at the company Paintball Day.

Wasn't that supposed
to be a team bonding exercise?

I'm sure they all bonded in the hospital.

Who's next?

I learned how to do
the mating call of the mockingbird.

[whistling]

[whistling]

Well, I guess that's something.

Hmph.

Well, I invented the sausage pen!

Everything it writes is delicious.

Hmm. Innovative... but ultimately useless.

And what about you, Private Gumball?
What have you achieved?

Hmm.

[shrieks]

[Penny] Hmm? Ah!

[all] Oh...

Meh. I guess I achieved nothing.

Again? Surely there's something
you're good at.

Hmm. I guess I'm just good at being happy.

Well, that's not good enough, little man!

As of tomorrow,
I'm turning you into a winner!

But right now, you're on the rainy cloud!

[Nicole] Wakey-wakey, Gumball.

-It's time to get up.
-[Gumball] Huh?

I can't- I can't see anything.

[Nicole] I'll open the curtains.

-[Gumball] What the... What time is it?
-It's : in the morning.

[shivering]

Mom, why are we in the supermarket
when the rest of the world's asleep?

Because winners wake up early,
so they get the best out of life.

For example, that discount chicken.

Pop it in the basket, sweetheart.

Ew. Oh.

I'm sorry. I didn't realize you wanted it.

I think you had your hand
on it first, Gumball.

But she's just an old lady.

An old lady who's going to lose.

Yeah? Well, we'll see about that.

[grunting]

What the--

Ow! Ow.

OK, OK!

Mom!

She's hitting me!

Win the chicken, Gumball.

Go on, kid. Give it your best sh*t.

This chicken...

-is...
-[grunts]

...mine! [sighs]

Good job.

Keep the chicken, losers!
I got myself a half-priced salmon!

[sighs]

So, how does it feel to win, son?

Don't know.

Oh, yeah. Like an old lady hitting me
in the face with a wet fish!

Honey, I think there's a few things
you don't understand about being a winner.

-Pssh! Like what?
-Like...

[grunts]

A winner never quits!

A winner stares fear in the face!

[whimpering] Oh, man.

[grunts] All right, that's it!
I'm not doing this anymore.

What does a winner do
when life gives him lemons?

Uh, make lemonade?

No, he squeezes them
right back into life's eyes!

Really?

All right.

Yeah!

Dude, when was the last time you slept?

Don't even ask, man.

Mom had me up at : in the morning,

teaching me how to be a winner
for that stupid fridge chart!

Stupid?

What's stupid
about reaching for the stars?

-[whistle blows]
-Dodge ball!

Boom! One point!

Boom! Two points!

Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom!
Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom!

And he kept throwing the ball over
and over and over.

I have no idea what got into him.

[sighs] You know, there's nothing wrong
with a little competitive spirit, honey.

Success is like a journey
full of hardship.

You need to learn there's no gain
without a little pain,

which is why I've driven you here.

[door opens]

-A desert?
-Yes.

You're walking home.

No! Don't you dare leave me...

[screams]

[coughs]

She'll be back.

-[bird screeching]
-[Gumball sighs]

[panting]

-Give me that!
-Hey!

Whatever, young man! Keep it!

[slurping]

-[sighs] Where's Elmore?
-About ten miles that way.

[grunts and screams]

What the--

Geez.

What went on here?

It all happened so fast.

First of all, Darwin got angry

because he thought he deserved
a sunny cloud

for winning some Dodge-ball game.

Yeah, I remember that.

And then Anais flipped out because Mom
won't share top spot on the chart.

What? Anais, too?

And when Mom put your face on the Sun,
I trashed the house.

I got a Sun.

Wait a minute. You trashed the house?

Darn right!

And I'll do it again if she doesn't
give me a star for my cheese crayon!

[screams]

Hmm. Not bad.

-[chuckles] Feels good to win, doesn't it?
-[Gumball gasps]

Uh, no, it doesn't!

Your chart is ruining this family!

They're all behaving like animals!

I mean... [whistling] Hello?

We were all happy before!

Do you even realize
what you're doing to us?

That's right.

Use your anger.

'Cause you're gonna need it
for our little family outing tomorrow.

Why? What's happening tomorrow?

OK, people,
first one to capture the flag wins!

You get hit, you're out!

Oh, this is great.
Paintball with crazy people.

I'll be in the car.

What have I got to do to get you
to show a little competitive spirit?

OK, I'll play...

But only if you tear down
that stupid chart.

Oh, I'll tear down that chart...

if you win.

All right, you're on.

But, please, everyone, this is
a family outing, so let's play fair

and try to have a little fun, OK?

Great.

[birds chirping]

[gasps]

-[Richard breathing heavily]
-[Gumball gasps]

Dad?

[Richard] Please...

Take off the mask.

[gasps] Oh. Thank you.

Smells like other people's faces.

What happened?

I didn't even see her.

-See who, Dad?
-Your Mo--

[gasps]

[choking]

[Nicole cackles]

[gasps]

[screams] Please leave me alone!

I can't take it anymore!

Chill out, dude. It's only me!

-[breathing heavily]
-I'm scared, man.

[screams]

You were right! That fridge chart is evil!

Look, if we stick together,
we can b*at Mom.

All we need is a little time
to come up with a...

-Paint b*mb!
-Paint b*mb!

-[Nicole laughing]
-[both screaming]]

[both panting]

OK, I think we're safe here, buddy.

Darwin?

Go on without me.

I'm not gonna leave you here!

It's too late for me.

You're the only one who can save
this family from insanity.

I saw the flag from the tree.

It's just over that hill.

No! [sobbing]

-No!
-Just go!

Just go.

[sobbing]

[sighs]

[Anais] Don't move.

I'm winning this thing.

I don't think so.

Hmph. One of mine, huh?

You know it's for the best.

-[expl*si*n]
-[gasps]

-Want to get a sandwich?
-Yeah.

[gasps] Thank you, Darwin.

-[twig snaps]
-[screaming]

[Richard] Hey! I'm out of the game!

I was on my way to get a sandwich.

Sorry!

Right. Let's end this.

-[g*n cocks]
-[Nicole whistles]

Looks like you led me right to it. Ooh.

Enough! I have won!

The game is over!

Not until you've sh*t me.

Then you'll finally join me
and be a winner.

I don't want to be a winner!

I'd rather be a disappointment to you
than live like this.

What?

Gumball, no, no.

Disappointed?

I could never be disappointed in you.

I just saw your potential. That's all.

I wanted you to reach it.

I'm sorry if I upset you.

Please, just...

Just take the flag, my little trooper.

You've earned it.

Thanks, Mom.

[g*n clicks]

Did you just try and sh**t me in the back?

No.

[panting]

There! You happy now?

[laughs]

I'm sorry.

[laughs]

[Anais] So, you gonna take down
that chart now?

[Nicole] Yep. Gumball won fair and square.

[Richard] Typical. I was just about

to make a breakthrough
with my turkey scissors.

[bird whistles]

[cutleries clinking]

Tonight is going to be awesome

I can't believe they're going to show it!

TV is finally gonna
acknowledge our existence.

What are you talking about?

-Only Cutey Pets.
-The number-one pet show on TV.

They're gonna show this photo!

Pet? I thought you preferred
Animal Companions?

Oh, who cares about moral principles?
This is TV we're talking about!

I'm pretty excited, too.

Win Or Don't Win is calling tonight.

All I have to do is answer one question
and I'll win a new microwave.

What's wrong with our microwave?

[sizzling]

Yeah, that makes sense.

Well, I can't wait to watch Daisy tonight.

You're going to meet Sally the snake,
aren't you, Daisy?

Yes, I am.

[sighs] I can't wait till : .

Well, then I guess
it's whoever gets to the remote first!

[munching, slurping]

[indistinct chatter]

Uh-bup-bup-bup! I've been up all night
saving my seat for...

[in Spanish] The great ending
of Sorrow Street.

[in English] And just to make sure

no one changes the channel,
I've hidden the remote!

[laughing]

[snoring]

[indistinct shouting]

Can I please watch Daisy?

-No!
-No!

This face was made for TV!

I don't want to grow a third arm
next time I make a cup of coffee!

I wish I had enough money
to buy my own remote!

OK, well, you know what?

I'm going... grocery shopping!

-[door closes]
-[tires screeching]

[snores]

Hey! We're not done with you yet.

Wake up!

[both sigh]

Wait a minute. We don't need the remote.

We can change the channel on the TV.

[gasps] You mean get up from the sofa
and change it manually,

like they did in ancient times
when people weren't lazy?

That sounds a little extreme, man.

[Gumball] Check, check.

OK, control, I'm going in.
[mimicking radio signal]

[Darwin] OK. [mimicking radio signal]

How you feeling?

[Gumball]
To be honest, I'm feeling pretty lazy.

[Darwin mimicking radio signal]
Keep going. You're doing great.

Something's happening.

It's like,
no one's ever walked here before.

I... I... I can't do it.

-I'm gonna turn around!
-[Darwin] No!

You've got to keep going!

You've passed the Christmas carpet stain.

There won't be enough willpower
to send you back.

OK. I'll try.

[grunts] Gravity pulling me down!

I'm not gonna make it!

I... can't... be...

bothered!

Abort the mission!
I repeat, abort the mission!

The mission.

[Gumball grunts and coughs]

I'm sorry, buddy, but it wasn't possible.

Now I know why remotes were invented.

[coughing]

Here, take this.
It'll make you feel better.

Did I hear chocolate?

Yes.

And we'll give you some
when you tell us where the remote is!

-No! Never!
-Oh, really?

Not even for the chocolate
choo-choo train?

Choo-choo!

-Choo-choo!
-[telephone ringing]

I'll get it!

Anais, I need you to tell me
what brand the TV is.

OK. But does this mean
I can watch Daisy tonight?

No, it means you won't be grounded
for six months.

What? But I'm four!

That's like one-eight of my life!

Then you don't want
to spend it locked up in your bedroom.

[grunts] Fine!

[imitating a train]

[imitates bell ringing]

The train will not be stopping
at this mouth.

OK! OK!

Just give me the chocolate,
and I'll tell you!

-Yes!
-Yes!

[sighs] But in the form of a riddle.

The remote is in the valley
betwixt two hills.

It's name begins with a "B,"

ends with two T's,
and has "U" in the middle.

And you'll never find it! [laughing]

[snoring]

I know this one! I know this one!

Dude, there's no remote here.

Hmm. Wait a minute.

B-U-T-T.

It's under his butt, isn't it?

[sighs]

[smacking continues]

[snoring]

-[door opens]
-I got him! Get the remote!

[gasps] Where is it?
I've been sitting on it all day long!

There's only one person
that could have taken it.

Yeah! You!
Because it definitely wasn't me!

Where did you put it?

Where did you put it?
Where did you put it?

Dude, say it, don't spray it!

Tell him where it is!

-Tell him where it is now!
-Where did you put it?

Chill, everybody!

I meant Anais. It could only be Anais.

Oh... 'Cause we both want to watch
the same thing.

Yeah, right.

Get her!

[all three] Where's the remote?

-What remote?
-Right!

What are you doing?

Look! The scissors
she used to cut a hole in the sofa.

What are you talking about?

Tell us where it is!

Or Daisy won't have to worry
about headaches ever again.

No, please! Wait!

Here it is.

I'm sorry.

[all exclaiming]

But I just want you to know...

I'm doing this for your own good!

No...

-All right, Daisy's getting it.
-No.

There is another.

-Another what?
-Another remote.

Mom went downtown to buy one.

[gasp] It's to : !

We need to get that remote!

-Thanks for the tip!
-Daisy!

Oh, yeah.

Wait. You're not coming?

I don't care about your stupid TV anymore!

All I need is my Daisy.

-[oriental music playing]
-[dog barking]

[footsteps approaching]

Gotcha.

[door slams]

Get her!

[grunts]

Get the remote!

[chuckles]

Looking for these?

[squeaking]

[chuckles]

[gong ringing]

Thank you.

No!

[in Spanish] I've got to know if Consuelo
survives the pressure.

[in English] She's gaining on us!

[both screaming]

-That remote is mine!
-Then come and get it!

[grunts]

Ooh!

[all grunting]

Let's take the stairs.

-[crashes]
-[car alarm wailing]

She's getting away!

[laughs]

[gasps]

If you leave without paying,

you're setting a bad example
for your children!

I can't find the right change!

Oh, no.

Come on.

Thank you for being a responsible citizen.

[groans]

[panting] Come on, dude.

Cutey Pets starts in five minutes.

[in Spanish] Sorrow Street
starts in five minutes.

[Nicole] [in English] Oh, no, it doesn't!

Win Or Don't Win does!

Give it, give it to me!

"I'm a celebrity"!

-Wait a minute!
-That's mine! Hey!

This isn't a TV remote.

Why?

My car!

Dagnabbit! It's for a garage door!

-What did you buy this for?
-What?

It's the one Anais told me to get.

Why would Anais tell you
to buy the wrong...

remote?

She planned this whole thing
from the start.

First, she gave Mom the idea
to buy a new remote.

I wish I had enough money
to buy my own remote!

[Nicole] So, when I called, she must have
given me the name of a garage-door opener.

Fine. Let me have a look.

-It's a Logikar .
-Thanks, honey.

-[Richard] She overheard my riddle...
-I know this one!

[Richard] ...waited till you guys
were at Butt Valley

and cut a hole in the sofa
so she could take the real remote.

[Nicole] And the remote she smashed
upstairs must have been a decoy.

Which means the real one
must still be in the house.

[gasping]

[gasps] I had it in my hands.

-[Gumball] Thanks for the tip.
-Daisy!

Oh, yeah.

All I need is my Daisy.

I wish I had enough money
to buy my own remote!

All I need is my Daisy.

Logikar.

And I don't watch the stupid TV anymore.

[indistinct chattering in Spanish]

[Richard speaking in Spanish]

[music playing on TV]

I feel so proud of her,
yet really scared at the same time.

-No!
-No!

♪ Daisy, Daisy ♪

♪ Daisy, Daisy ♪

♪ Daisy ♪

[theme music playing]