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02x07 - Election Day

Posted: 01/30/23 12:13
by bunniefuu


[WOMAN ] And when we've reached
the th gentle squeeze of the teat,

we connect with our sheep
with a mindful touch and say,

- "We honor you."
- [WOMEN] "We honor you."

That's right.

And we continue milking.

And as we do, we acknowledge
that we, as women,

will also give milk to our child.

And though we may not hear our
children thanking us in this way,

we will feel it.

Which is not to say

that all of us are going to breastfeed.

Mothers who choose to formula
feed love their children

and are just as much mothers who nurse.

Every woman's lacteal journey
is different and beautiful.

Let's say that all together.

woman's lacteal journey is different

and beautiful.

- What trimester are you?
- Just first.

That's what I thought.
I didn't want to assume.

Maybe you're just having a tiny

And that would be wonderful, too.

[WOMAN ] And as we place
each kernel of buckwheat,

one by one,

back into the pillowcase,

making sure that each little
grain is free of weevils

or mealworms,

let us reflect on what each of
these , grains of buckwheat

represent to us.

Is it the number of weeks that
we will live, on average,

after giving birth and becoming mothers?

Psst! I just put two kernels
in at once. Should I tell her?

Is she gonna make me start over?

I... I can't do this! [HYSTERICAL LAUGH]

- Okay, everyone...

... let's acknowledge that
Taryn is feeling challenged

by this exercise in maternal patience.

Taryn, would you be interested

in sharing where you are on your
emotional journey right now?

Actually, yes, yes. Um...

I would rather be sleeping
on a bunch of weevils

than count buckwheat kernels, Rainbow.

That's where I'm at right now.

[WOMAN ] Okay.

And are you able to step out

of your negativity whirlpool

to acknowledge that motherhood

will present situations that are...

equally frustrating?

No, no, not really, Rainbow.

Really, mostly, what
I'm thinking right now

is that I'm gonna have
a son in two months,

and I'm wondering how
I'm gonna explain to him

that his dad is a f*cking meathead

who Mommy shouldn't have had
a f*cking second date with,

let alone move into his
apartment for a month

before Mommy came to her f*cking senses!



And that's Taryn's journey, everyone.

Oh, and just a reminder,

it's "Reignbough,"

not "Rainbow."


like the period in which a queen rules.

"Bough," like the branch of a tree.




[SOFTLY] Alice...

I can't do this anymore.

Me neither.

This place is insane.

No, I mean, yes,
this place is crazy, but I'm...

I know what you're gonna say.

You don't have to say
it if you don't want to.

No, I have to say it.

I can't be a mother.

Will you come with me?

Of course I will.

It's okay. Do you hear me?

It's okay.

Now, can we please get
the f*ck out of here?



♪ I fell in love again ♪

♪ All things go, all things go ♪

♪ Drove to Chicago ♪

♪ All things know, all things know ♪

♪ You came to take us ♪

♪ All things go, all things go ♪

♪ To recreate us ♪

♪ All things grow, all things grow ♪

♪ We had our mindset ♪

♪ All things know, all things know ♪

♪ You had to find it ♪

♪ All things go, all things go ♪

[SKYE] Roshambo, bitch.

Let's rock paper scissors
all up in this piece.

Remember the strategy.

Well, maybe forgetting the
strategy is my strategy.


Wait, am I playing as
Dede or playing as me?

Playing as you.

Copy that.

- [BOTH] What are you doing?
- You sh**t on three.

You don't. You sh**t on four.
It says so on the Interweb.

- It says...
- I don't care what the Interweb says.

I learned this in ,

and that's how we're playing.
sh**t on three.


- Damn it.
- Focus.

Damn it.

Oh, son of a...

Bitch! How did you do that?

- [JAMES] Nice.

Watch your body language.

She totally just gave herself away.




- Oh, come on. Don't get frustrated.
- God, no.

- This is a disaster!
- I really think you're overthinking it.

Well, of course I'm overthinking it.

I thought that was the strategy.

No, come on.

- Now, don't think.

You know what the strategy is.

Don't throw paper or something.

- That's not the strategy!
- Not the strategy.

Don't even think! Do it now!
Do it right now! Here we go.

[GROANS] Damn it.

What the f*ck?

- This is eerie, I have to say.
- Yeah.

There you go. We tied.

Good. Here.


What is that? Pen?



Taking you down, amigo.

Oh, not today, Satan.


Oh, come on.

I got ice water in my veins, baby.

What am I gonna play, James? Hmm?

Is it paper? Hmm?

- Oh, I hate you!
- [PAYTON] Yes!

That's right! [EXHALES SHARPLY]

Whose house?

Sorry. Awesome.

Real slow now.

This is insane.

[SIGHS] Stay focused.

I just won, so my instinct will be...

to stick with what just won.

You play what will b*at

- what I just b*at you with.
- I got it.

- I got it.
- Okay, okay. Here we go.


- f*ck son of a bitch!
- I just played scissors!

- Switch to rock!
- I know that! I know that!

- Oh, my God. Nope, not doing it.
- God!

- Nope. Not doing it. Nope.
- Oh, my God!

- Dede.
- Mm-mm. Nope. Mm-mm.

Nope. I need a drink. I'm going
out and getting a drink.

[HADASSAH] Well, okay.

- We can practice along the way.
- [DEDE] I'm not practicing.

- I'm drinking.
- Okay...

Do you know anyone that's had one?

I don't think so.

But my understanding is that...

when you get older,
you find out that a lot of people

who you never knew had
one actually had one.

Pretty sure my mom has.

And my dad's definitely
paid for more than one.

Are you having doubts?


Are you having feelings?

I thought River got me pregnant once.

I didn't tell him because I knew
he would just ask me to marry him

on the spot and want to keep it.

And you didn't want that.

I loved River more than I've
ever loved anyone, but...

I just... I don't want kids.

You don't know that.

I do.

And I don't care anymore

if people think that makes
me less of a woman.

I know it doesn't.

I just don't want that for myself,
so I wouldn't be a good mother.

Do you think I will...

be a good mother?

Yeah, I think you probably will.

You make Payton feel better about
himself than he deserves to,

so that means you know
how to look after a boy.

And you're the most
accomplished woman I know.

So you'll probably pass
that on if you have a girl.

I still love Payton.

I don't know if I wanna
do this without him.

Do you think they'll let
you come in with me?

Yes. I'll be in there
with you the whole time.

When you walk out of here,

you can do whatever
you want with your life.

When I walk out of here...

it's gonna be on a path that I want.

So should you.

But what if we don't like
where that path leads?

At least you will have chosen it.

- [NURSE] Astrid Sloan?
- Yeah.

This way, please.

I don't know why we couldn't have
had a drink at the St. Regis.

What, all the way uptown?

Besides, the best way to
make an old broad happy

- is to surround her with gay men.

♪ Some years went by, they had a child ♪

♪ He was funny, strange, and mild ♪

♪ Their love for him ran deep ♪

- Hey, hey.

♪ Some nights, his dreams ♪
♪ Would drive him wild ♪

♪ So into bed, she piled ♪

♪ To help him fall asleep... ♪

[SOFTLY] What is he doing here?

I have no idea.

Sounds pretty good, though.

- Really good.
- Yeah.

♪ I may not be wise ♪

♪ And I won't save the day ♪

♪ But look in my eyes ♪

♪ And know I'll always stay ♪

♪ And I won't run away ♪



♪ I won't run away ♪




Thank you.

- [DEDE] Well, well, well.
- [HADASSAH] Yeah.

- Goodness. Can we buy you a drink?
- Look at you.

I already have my club soda.

I'm sober. I have been
for months now, so...

- one day at a time.
- [DEDE] Good for you.

Gee, with a voice like yours,

you should be on Broadway,
not in politics.

[CHUCKLES] Although, and this
might be the martini talking,

you ran a hell of a campaign.

- You're good, kid.
- Thanks.

I know I don't need to say it,
considering your track record,

but so are you.

Both of you. Really.

It's... It's sad that
someone has to lose.

He's bullshitting.

- You love the idea of b*ating us.
- Sometimes.

- Uh-uh...
- Okay, most of the time.

But, seriously, you guys
fought for progressive causes

people my age just assume
were always there.

You know, abortion rights,

civil rights, social programs.

We stand on your shoulders.

Yeah, while you drive us into the grave.

You did with progressives before you.

Well, experience matters, you know?

Knowing how the game is played,

and the back doors into the system...

Vision and passion are great,

but Albany...

- is a beast...

... that takes years
to learn how to tame.

We've seen it eat noobs alive.

I am sure that's probably true.

But, for now...

I'm having the time of my life.

It's great, isn't it?
Being in the arena.

- [PAYTON] Mm-hmm.
- With the roar of the crowd...

the feel of the other guy's
bones breaking in your hands,

the taste of blood in your mouth.


I do want you to know,
I had my limits, okay?

A member of my staff leaked all
that stuff about the throuple

and... and you and William.

I... I had him fired for it.

Thank you for saying so, but, uh...

actually, you should rehire him.

No, I would have advised
you to release that stuff.

We're big girls.

We know this isn't tiddlywinks.

[HADASSAH] And it all ended
up for the best anyway.

Although, I am a little more
tired than I used to be.

William is insatiable.

So, what are you gonna do
if you win, Payton? Um...

First hundred days?

Mmm, re-start the conversation
about building a seawall

to protect Lower Manhattan
from the next superstorm.

Never gonna happen.
Those tightwads in appropriations,

they won't give you ten
cents for a paper clip

if they think it's gonna help Manhattan.

I know, I know. I... I don't
think it's ever gonna get built.

I just think it's gonna help curry favor

with the local construction union,

which will increase my voting bloc

enough to solidify my
reelection chances.

And it's gonna move the goalposts

as far as what they're willing
to spend on climate issues,

so when I propose that we subsidize

solar panels for all the
downtown buildings,

that $ billion is gonna
make the million

that the paneling costs
sound like a bargain.

Maybe I won't get as chewed
up as you think I will.

Payton, people are asking
for you to do another song.

My constituency demands action.

Excuse me, ladies.

You know,

they say that you learn
more from your enemies

than you do from your friends.

So, I would like to dedicate this
next song to two women, who...

other than my mother,

have done more to make a man out
of me than anyone else in the world.


♪ Everything has its season ♪

♪ Everything has its time ♪

♪ Show me a reason ♪
♪ And I'll soon show you a rhyme ♪

♪ Cats sit on the window sill ♪

♪ Children sit in the snow ♪

♪ Why do I feel I don't fit in ♪

♪ Anywhere I go? ♪

♪ Rivers belong where they can ramble ♪

♪ Eagles belong where they can fly ♪

♪ I got to be ♪

♪ Where my spirit can run free ♪

♪ Gotta find my corner ♪

♪ Of the sky ♪

♪ Every man has his daydreams ♪

♪ Every man has his goals ♪

♪ People like the way dreams have ♪
♪ Of sticking to the soul ♪

♪ Thunderclouds have their lightning ♪

♪ Nightingales have their song ♪

♪ And don't you see I want my life ♪

♪ To be something more than long ♪

♪ Rivers belong where they can ramble ♪

♪ Eagles belong where they can fly ♪

♪ I got to be ♪

♪ Where my spirit can run free ♪

♪ Gotta find my corner ♪

♪ Of the sky ♪

♪ So many men seem destined ♪

♪ To settle for something small ♪

♪ But I won't rest ♪
♪ Until I know I'll have it all ♪

♪ So don't ask where I'm going ♪

♪ Just listen when I've gone ♪

♪ And far away you'll hear me singing ♪
♪ Softly to the dawn ♪

♪ Rivers belong where they can ramble ♪

♪ Eagles belong where they can fly ♪

♪ I've got to be ♪

♪ Where my spirit can run free ♪

♪ Gotta find my corner ♪

♪ Of the sky ♪

♪ The sky ♪


Thank you.

- [PATRON] Whoo!
- Thank you.


[HADASSAH] Oh, my God.

Oh, this is awful.

You should fake a heart
att*ck or something.

- They look nervous.
- They should be.

Old people are terrible at game theory.

I bet they buy all the
utilities in Monopoly.

I can't believe this is the way our
political career is gonna end.

Would you relax?

- Everything's going to be fine.

I have never seen anyone worse
at roshambo than you, Dede.

You are uniquely

- and utterly useless at it.
- Thank you.

- [WHISPERS] Here we go.
- Mm-hmm.

- [HADASSAH] Oh, shit.
- [DEDE] All right.

Hello, all.

I'm Jay t*nk-Brown,
head of the elections board.

I'd like to welcome you all to a very...

unique and historic day
to determine the winner

of the th District
state senate election.

Now, the rules are clear.

Rock beats scissors,

paper beats rock, and,

of course, scissors beats paper.

We will be using the
Jacobian scoring rules.

Best of five, as agreed
upon by the candidates...

Uh, Jay, before we start,
I'd like to say a few words.

No. Hold on. We did not agree
to that in negotiations. Okay?

- If she gets to speak, I get to speak too.
- Payton, Payton, shut up.

You have the whole rest
of your life to talk.




You hear that?

[SOFTLY] Hear what?
What is she talking about?

It's a trick. It's gotta be a trick.

See, when you're a politician,

you develop a kind of, um...

bionic listening.

You have to hear what no one else does.

You have to hear what
your constituents want...

above all the noise of the media

and the special interests.

The sound of the strongest
political wind...

can be heard long before it
bl*ws down old politicians

and ideas.

The best of us can hear them...

when they're nothing
but a summer's breeze.

I'm not great at everything,

I... I am certainly not a
champion at rock paper scissors.

I dig in when I should compromise,

and I have a very specific
approach to romance.


[DEDE] However...

I am a great listener.

And one of the things
that I've been hearing

over the past few weeks of this campaign

is that young people are angry.

They are angry about income inequality,

wage stagnation, the cost of housing,
and more than anything,

climate change

that will alter the way they relate
to the planet we leave them

because they know that none of those
other things are going to matter

if they don't have a planet to live on.

And most importantly,

they're willing to do
something about it.

And one of the other things
that I've been hearing...

is the voice...

of a young man...

who fights diligently
to solve the problems

that these young people
are so angry about.

This election should not
have been this close.

But it was.

So close that we are here
deciding the outcome

with a child's game.

It was so close because
young people voted

in larger numbers than ever before,

and some of them for
the very first time.

They voted...

because they finally...

had a candidate...

who inspired them.

Who made them believe

that someone was finally
listening to them.

And I'm listening too.

And that is why...

I am conceding this
election to Payton Hobart.


- It's not a trick, not a trick.

- [DEDE] Congratulations, Payton.

Senator Hobart.


- Now the hard part starts, kiddo.


Thank you.


I guess we won.

[DEDE] Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Hey, cheer up.

Why? You just gave away the farm.

[LAUGHS] That was certainly
very unexpected.

Um, we're all a little bit taken aback,

but I think that we are
gonna stick to our plan

for the first hundred days

- to focus on technology...

[ALICE] You won.

Maybe. I'll never know what
was in that ballot box.

Trying to write this acceptance speech.

You made the right call,
not turning it in.

Not right in the legal
or ethical sense, but...

right for you.


I envy you.

'Cause I'm willing to
do anything to win?

Because you know who you are.

You know what you want.

You don't?

I think I may wanna
go to medical school.


I think...

you'd be a great doctor.

- Maybe I'll become a surgeon.
- Hmm.

I excel at focusing on a single
task for long periods of time.

It's that or start a lifestyle
brand, I haven't decided yet.

- Hmm.
- Either way,

I need to go back to
Harvard and finish school.

I am certain that I love you though.

I don't wanna be your
dutiful wife, but...

I do wanna have a family with you.

It just needs to be a little more...

George and Amal and a little
less George and Martha.


I want that too.

Come on. Let me buy you dinner?

We'll talk medical schools?

Don't you have to finish
your acceptance speech?

Ah, it can wait.

I think... [SIGHS]

... we should make tonight...

all about you.

- Come on.
- [LAUGHS] Yeah.



- Hello!
- Hi, Georgina.

- Hi, Dede.
- Hello.

Thank you so much for facial timing me.

How's the day drinking going?

Excuse me?

Oh, I didn't mean it as an insult.

How are you, Georgina?

Are you still basking in the glow of
winning percent of the vote?

I mean, I suppose so.

Running for governor,
was... It was... It was fun,

but, uh, can you believe

nobody told me that you have to
move to Sacramento for the job?

I mean... [SCOFFS]

... what is in Sacramento

except for farmland and...
and... and opioids?

Um, so... so you're not taking the job?

No, of course I am. I am.

But I... I'll only be there for a year.

My understanding is that the
governor's term is for four years.

But I've decided...

to run for president.

This cycle.

- Huh?
- Isn't that wonderful?

Uh-huh. What... What about all
your big plans for California?

What about secession?


well, you know,

I might have been aiming a
little bit high with that one.

And then it struck me.

Why does California have
to leave the country

when the country could
be more like California?

Well, yeah, but what does
that have to do with me?


I want you to be my vice president.

[DEDE] Well...

You are so smart, Dede.

You're so good at all of
the... the governing

and all that stuff that I really
can't be bothered with.

I doubt I would even
run for a second term.

You would be set up to succeed me.

If I said yes, I would...
I would have terms.

I would want to bring
Hadassah Gold with me.

- I would want...
- Oh, of course. I'm way ahead of you.

I was thinking of having
her as my chief of staff.

Her natural dislike of people
makes her perfect for that job.

One question then:

Why me?

Because you and I both know,
you are far from finished.

It's second act time for you.

And politics, yes, it's mostly
ego and... and marketing,

but... but the governing...

competency matters...

integrity matters,

expertise matters, experience matters.

The country needs you,

that's why.

An all female ticket.


What do you say?

[INFINITY] Because this is
the thing about change...

people say that it can't be done,

and then when it is, when
you accomplish the thing

that nobody said that you could,

suddenly, those people that stood there,

blocking your path
every step of the way,

suddenly, they say that they didn't.

Suddenly, your big idea was
their big idea all along.

So, let's not let that happen.

Let's remind them that
they were the ones

- standing in the way of progress...

Oh, God, there you are.
I'm not saying any of this.

Okay, I mean, you can say
whatever you want, you won.

No, I didn't win,
that's the problem, I tied.

That makes this speech about the
things I'll do with my big victory

sound stupid, especially since
it's not a victory at all.

But what I'm trying to say is...

Please stop interrupting,
let me finish a f*cking thought!


I'm sorry, it's just...

the problem is, for someone
who has staked his future

on winning elections...

I don't win many elections, do I?

[INFINITY] There are cynics
who will tell you that

recycling doesn't make a difference...

Okay, I'm about to say something
that might make you really mad.

But you won.

Jesus Christ. No, my opponent
dropped out, again.

That's the thrust of the point
that I'm attempting to make.

Yeah, no, that's the part
that might make you mad.

We counted the votes in the
ballot box... and you won.

[INFINITY] ... leaders will
see the writing on the wall.

[MCAFEE] James, Skye, and me,

we kind of couldn't stand not knowing...



Payton. Payton.

All those old people in the
retirement home... [LAUGHS]

... they all went for you, to .


You won the election, Payton.

I mean, it was close, just votes,

but you won, you... you actually won.


Congratulations, Senator.

State... Senator.
Let's not get carried away.

State Senator Elect!

[LAUGHING] Oh, my God.

[INFINITY] Ladies and gentlemen,
Senator Elect Payton Hobart.

- That's me.
- That's you.





Thank you. [CHUCKLES]

Thank you.


Wow, wow, wow.

You know, I have to...
I have to tell you,

I'm very much at a loss for words.

- [WOMAN IN CROWD] We love you!
- I love you, too.


I really do. [CHUCKLES]

Listen, a lot of ink was spilled

about how this... this race was
about generational change.

Right? Older voters
versus younger voters,

voters that had never before
in their lives cast a ballot.


looking at our exit polls,

I learned a lot about who
my supporters really are.

Young and old, you trusted
me with your support.

It has defied my expectations...

and it has humbled me.

And for anyone out there who did
cast a vote for Dede Standish,

I have three words:

- I get it.

I do.

Dede Standish is a remarkable woman.

She's an outstanding politician

who's done just about as much
as any single person could do

to improve the lives of
her fellow citizens.

Now, she and I did not
always agree on everything.

- But, uh, I promise you,

I will work every bit as hard as
she has for the last years,

and I promise you that I will take
the trust that you placed in her

and I will guard that trust

for as long as I'm honored to hold
elective office in your name.


Thank you.


There's an old adage

that says that politicians
campaign in poetry

and govern in prose.

So now we are on to the prose part.

The backbreaking work of
standing up to the colossus,

the abomination that
is money in politics.

The f*re hose of falsehoods
and disinformation

that is trained and ready
to drown out anybody

who dares to challenge a broken system.

The power of the forces
aligned against us...

is daunting.

And the hard work of safeguarding
our natural environment,

rolling back greenhouse gas emissions

and drawing a line in the sand

as to what we will and will not tolerate

when it comes to risking
mankind's future on this planet.

These are all just about
the hardest things

that humankind has ever
asked itself to do.


as I stand here today...

I can honestly tell you that looking
out at the spectrum of voters

who honored me with their
vote in this campaign,

I can tell you from the
bottom of my heart

that today I have never
been more hopeful

about what a group of people

who have come together
with a common cause

can find the strength
inside itself to do.

We will meet this challenge
and we will overcome it.


And let me tell you something,

if I ever break that promise to you,

there is something that
I need you to do for me:

vote me out!


If I ever become part of the status
quo in Albany, you vote me out.


If I ever choose the easy path
over the right one, vote me out!


Pay attention.

Stay engaged.

Give me no choice

but to be the man that I want to be,

the man that I have promised
you today that I will be.

If you can make that promise

then I can promise you

there is nothing we will
not accomplish together.

We will transform this city of New
York and we will save this world!


Thank you so much for this honor.
I'm so proud to be your senator!



Thank you.



Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.


Okay, our biggest accomplishments
over the last two years, go.

The all-electric city bus fleet.

You co-wrote the bill requiring
every new high-rise in Manhattan

to utilize a combined
heat-and-power source

and incorporate solar
panels into the design.

You added EV charging
stations across the city,

fast-tracked permit approval for
New York's offshore wind operation,

which is now ahead of schedule and
set to deliver megawatts,

which is almost twice what was promised.

Also, that's new jobs.

Are we talking first-term

I'd vote for Archie.

Ah, all good points.

Okay, okay. Guys, very
happy you're engaged,

but this is still a workplace,
so if we could just...

save a little space.

- Thank you very much.

- Hi. I'm sorry I'm late.

Hi, sweet boy.

Mommy just took her first
board exam. [LAUGHS]

- How'd it go? How'd it go?
- Yes. Mwah!

I think it went well, but we'll see.

Archie, Mommy's almost a doctor, yeah!

Yeah, just like eight more years.

- Eight more years, yeah.

Folks, two years ago on election
night, we were sh1tting ourselves.

Tonight we get to... [GRUNTS]

... sit back...

and celebrate.

Celebrate what?
You're running unopposed.

Uh-huh. That's what I mean,
that's what we're celebrating.

We delivered for the th District

and now our voters are gonna
send us back to Albany

for two more years to fight for them.

Can I just say something?

This is kind of a huge bummer.

What are you talking about?

I thought you were gonna
announce your next campaign.

Yeah, this was the next
campaign. We won!

Yeah, we won but there
wasn't a campaign.

I agree.

I mean, the champagne's
great, but I thought

maybe you were gonna announce
that you were running for governor.


I guessed Congress.

I thought US Senate.

I thought that's what the lunch
with Chuck Schumer was about.

[PAYTON] No, no, no.

Okay, I need everyone
to really hear this.

The last two years...

have been a revelation.


Not just because I became
a husband and a father.

- But because I learned

that a meaningful life...

is not all about ambition.

We didn't worry about the next thing.

We stayed devoted to
the thing in front of us.

A cause we believe in and that needs us.


we have a lot more work to do.

- And I for one plan on doing it.

That's what I want to celebrate tonight.

So get up here.


Wanna make a toast?

[ALICE] You wanna make a toast? Mmm!

I hear the cutie.



To two more years. Cheers.

[ALICE] Also,

your mom's about to
be elected president.

- And to that as well.

- Cheers.

[PAYTON] What are you doing here?

What do you mean?

You don't own Central Park.

I'm jogging. I do it all the time.


Wait a minute, hold it, hold it.

Oh, my God.

- Okay, I lied.

I don't jog all the time. In fact,
I haven't jogged in years.

Oh, my God, we usually do that
elliptical thing, you know?

The one that tells you you've
run miles, what bullshit.

This is way harder.

There's someone over
there who wants to talk.

I'm going to Sant Ambroeus
for a hot chocolate.



You could've just called.


- Or spoken to you at the inaugural.
- Mmm.

- But I wanted this to be very private.

Congratulations on the election...

Madam Vice President.

- Vice President Elect, thank you.

And congratulations to you
on all the spectacular work

you're doing representing
the th District.

[SCOFFS] I... I was right about you.

Ooh, well, I... I was
wrong about you at first,

but then... I was right about you.

You have accomplished things
that I never could've,

things that I wouldn't have
even thought possible,

quite frankly.

- Thanks.
- Mm-hmm.

I have big shoes to fill.

I'll cut to the chase.

As you know,

your mother made a campaign pledge

to only serve one term,

which paves the way for
me to run in four years.

- You think she's gonna stick to that?
- I know she is.

She is technically not
even the president yet

and she's already bored.


But the point is I am going to run,

and just like your mother,
I am not interested in some hokey,

fake veepstakes.

I want to know who I'm running with.

And I would like that to be you.

Are you... ?

You... You can't be serious.

I am totally serious.

Well, don't I have to be ?
I'm not old enough yet.

Well, we're gonna change that.

[SNIFFS] That's, uh, one of
the things... [CHUCKLES]

... that your mother is pushing

in her first one hundred days, is, uh...

to "let's fix the dumb shit in
the Constitution" campaign.

And she's got all these pop stars

and they're gonna record a
"We Are the World" type of song

and, um, it's catchy.

- [PAYTON] Mmm.
- Mm-hmm.

I know...

it's a way off, Payton.

But I'm asking.

Will you do it?

Will you be my vice president?