01x06 - So He Looked Like Dad. It Was Just Dinner, Right?

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Modern Love". Aired: October 18, 2019 – August 13, 2021.*
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Romantic comedy explores "love in its multitude of forms – including sexual, romantic, familial, platonic, and self love", which are presented in eight half-hour episodes.
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01x06 - So He Looked Like Dad. It Was Just Dinner, Right?

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♪ We face the music together ♪

♪ And throw our hats
in the ring ♪

♪ Facing all kinds of weather ♪

♪ And not afraid of anything ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ When the sun comes up,
we'll be on our way ♪

♪ And we don't care
where we land ♪

♪ And the waves are high,
but we won't turn round ♪

♪ 'Cause your hand
is in my hand ♪

♪ And, oh-oh ♪

♪ You make me feel invincible ♪

♪ 'Cause it's you and me ♪

♪ Through the wind and hail ♪

♪ Setting sail into the world. ♪

[glass clinking]

[indistinct chatter]

MAN:
You've exceeded my dreams.

You're smart, beautiful,

accomplished, kind,

and finally 21.

Anyone would be proud
to be your father,

but guess what.

Not everyone is.

I am.

I can't believe how lucky I am.

To Tami...

on her 21st birthday.

Thanks, Dad, but you don't
have to be so sappy.

You are embarrassing me
in front of Maddy.

[chuckles]
No, I love it. Keep going.

TAMI'S DAD:
Forgive me, Maddy.

It's not every day
your little girl turns 21.

- Oh, stop already.
- [Maddy laughs]

- Ah, ah.
- Oh, oh. [chuckles] -Oh.

May this first year of adulthood

set you on the path to becoming
the amazing woman

we all know you're
destined to be.

Love you, Tami.

I am going to literally
projectile vomit

- if you don't stop.
- [Maddy chuckles]

And I have been an adult
since I was 18, Dad. Really.

You just turned 21,
didn't you, Maddy?

Yeah, three months ago.

Well, I hope your father
didn't embarrass you

- like this old softy.
- Oh, no, come on.

No, he didn't.

MADDY:
This is how I turned 21.

[loud dance music playing]

♪ ♪

My celebration wasn't
something my father

would necessarily
have approved of.

But that's okay,
because he wasn't there.

Having no dad is something
I'm used to.

I wasn't even thinking
about him that much anymore.

We should use
the standard CVT...

Until somebody made me think
about him...

a lot.

This guy.

He always had crumbs
on his sweater.

Little flecks of silver
in his sideburns.

His hair was thinning
from the top.

But he was handsome, too.

Like an actor playing a dad
in an AARP commercial.

John's life depends on it.
[chuckles]

Basically, he was dad p*rn.

The only thing wrong with him
was that he didn't have

a big enough paunch.

For optimal dadness,

his belly needed
to touch his knees.

I hatched a plan.

I'm baking cookies
for the snack room. Pass it on.

Do you have anything to add?

[indistinct conversation]

Uh...

I knew he would check
chocolate chip.

I just knew it.

Um...

[classical music playing]

[indistinct chatter]

I found any excuse to linger
outside his office.

Naturally, he listened
to classical music,

like any self-respecting
robotics genius.

I wanted a reason to go inside.

To see his desk, his books.

Maybe he had a potted plant.

Framed pictures of his past.

Hello?

Hi. Can I help you?

It was just the music.

- Is it too loud?
- No, no.

I was just wondering who it was.

Oh, uh, it's-it's Yo-Yo Ma.

The Bach solo "Cello Suites."
Do you like it?

Yeah, I really... I really do.

Okay.
[chuckles]

Can I get a coffee?
Throw some milk in there.

Hi.

Hi.
[chuckles]

You're the one making
all the chocolate chip cookies.

Uh... [chuckles]
Guilty.

I'm eating them all.
I'm getting fat, Madeline.

MADDY: Only my father ever
called me by my full name.

People usually just
call me Maddy.

You like coffee?
I like coffee, too.

Do you like duck?

Who-who doesn't like duck?

Would you like to
have dinner sometime?

♪ ♪

MADDY: So,
there's this senior engineer at work

who's working on
artificial intelligence.

You know, underwater drones that
do metocean data collection,

measure salinity, you know,
carbon levels.

Genius stuff like that.

[grunts]
That sounds cool.

I'm having dinner
with him tonight.

That sounds creepy.

[laughs]
It's not creepy. It's fine.

- How so?
- He's, like, 30 years older than I am.

That never stops them.

I know, but he's,
like, oldold.

He's totally my dad.
Even his smell.

- You smelled him?
- [laughs]

I was bringing him papers
at his desk, and I leaned over,

and I caught this faint
old man smell.

Just like my dad had.

It's a thing, you know?

Old man smell.

- Huh.
- Look it up.

They make more benzothiazole
and nonanol.

Non-a**l?

It's a metabolite.

- Shut up.
- [laughs]

He also smells like Tums.

I think he has digestive issues.

Hmm. I wonder if that's why
he's not getting any fatter.

- Oh, well.
- So, what exactly is happening tonight?

Where are you having dinner?

At his apartment.

He is cooking for you?
This is a date.

It's not a date.

Then why did you iron
your blouse?

- I iron my blouse every day.
- Since when?

Since just now.

[chuckling]:
Okay, Maddy.

Whatever you say.

Just don't f*ck him
on your non-date, because...

then it would be... a date.

- [slap]
- It's not a date.

Yeah, yeah.

[opera music playing]

MADDY:
It was a date.

But it was sort of a dad date.

I mean, listen to these
questions he asked.

So, Madeline,
do you like to travel?

What are your big dreams
for your future self?

What are you doing
hiding out in R & D?

[laughs]

MADDY: All perfectly
solid dad questions.

You get this look on your face
in meetings,

like you're taking notes
on the human comedy

for some novel you're writing.

You're an observer,
always watching everything.

Like right now,
I'm watching you cook.

I'm glad you came.

I wasn't so sure
you'd show up.

Here, I want you
to try this risotto.

It should be creamy with
a little bite to the rice.

Blow.

[Maddy chuckles]

Good girl.

Mmm.
[chuckles]

It's creamy all right.

It was definitely a date.

You're going home after dessert.

Relax.

Peter?

In here.

[classical music playing]

Hey. Come here.

I want you to hear this.

Schumann wrote it for his wife
before he went mad.

♪ ♪

MADDY: He smelled like
wine and oranges...

and dependability.

He had a gray comforter.

He was a gray comforter.

I was in heaven.

This is nice.

I thought you'd like it.

[chuckles]

Are you a golfer?

No. Why?

Because your socks have
little putting greens on them.

PETER:
They do?

[laughs]:
Yeah, look.

[laughs]
How about that?

[Maddy laughs]

- Wait, don't throw them.
- Why?

I love them.

No, I'm just
getting more comfortable.

How can I make you
more comfortable?

MADDY:
Mm...

[exhales]
Why don't you...

You can tell me a story.

What kind of story?

About when I was little.

About... Well,
I didn't know you then.

Yeah, but what if you did?

I'm just playing.
It's just a game.

Okay, what's the game?

Well, that... for a minute,
that you pretend to be my dad.

Your dad, uh...
I pretend that I'm your dad?

Only if you want to.

And where is your actual dad?

He d*ed when I was 11.

I'm sorry.

And you want me to...

No, not... I mean, not if you
think it's, like, weird.

- Don't.
- No, I mean, it's a little weird.

[laughs]
Th-Then... then never mind.

Just-just forget about it.

Once upon a time...

- No, don't. Don't.
- No...

There was a little girl.

She had big blue eyes

and short blonde hair,

and her name was Madeline.

[chuckles]
No, just stop.

No, stop, please.
I'm-I'm embarrassed now.

I had, like, too much wine,
and I'm acting like an idiot.

What's going on here?

I went to my friend's birthday
last week,

and her dad came, and he said

all these "I'm so proud of you"
things to her.

"You're a brilliant
young woman."

"You'll achieve your dreams."

"Everything's gonna
be all right."

And it slayed me.

I-I never had anyone
say those things to me.

And ever since,
I've been f*cked up.

[chuckles]

- I'm sorry.
- No, no.

Hey. I understand.

You do? How?

Because I'm a dad.

- [chuckling]: Really?
- Mm-hmm.

How many?

Two.

[chuckles]
Well, how old?

Well, they're, um...
they're older than you are.

[sighs]

Jesus.

- Let's go.
- Okay.

MADDY: After that,
the genius and I were friendly

but distant for a few weeks.

I was shocked to realize
how much I missed him.

At least I had his golf socks.

I took them home
on risotto night.

I found they helped me sleep.

The genius did say
he understood me that night.

"It's okay. I understand."

Those were his exact words.

Maybe I needed
to see him again.

DRIVER:
You look sad.

Why aren't you smiling?

You'll look pretty if you smile.

You know what? It's not my job
to look pretty for you.

I'll smile when I want to.

So you don't care
if you look ugly?

Why don't you just watch the
road and do your job silently?

- You don't have to take that tone. I'm just being nice.
- Look out!

[tires screech, alarm blares]

MADDY: So, when my Uber
driver kindly arranged for me

to hit my head, I knew just
who I wanted to call.

PETER: You have everything
you need from her, Officer?

I'd like to get her to the ER
and have her looked at.

Yeah, I don't need the ER.

You could have a concussion.
Best to find out.

I'd listen to your dad
on this one.

You're free to leave.

PETER:
Thank you, Officer.

Come on.

It's nice to see you.

Even under the circumstances.

Thanks for coming.

I'm glad you called.

I'm surprised, but I'm glad.

I missed you.

Me, too.

MADDY:
I really didn't need an MRI.

I barely tapped my head.

But Peter had so much
fatherly concern for me

that I felt obligated
to assuage his fears.

And MRIs don't hurt,
not even a little bit.

- NURSE: Are you claustrophobic?
- Very.

I panic in small spaces.

I'll be right here.

Can you hold onto my feet?

Of course. I'll hold onto them
the whole time.

If I curl my toes, that's
the sign that I'm scared, okay?

Okay. If you curl your toes,
I'll know you're scared.

I'll squeeze your feet to let
you know everything's okay.

[machine buzzing, whirring]

Everything's okay.

MADDY:
I loved that MRI.

It was, like, the best
45 minutes of my life.

For the next couple weeks,
the genius continued to help me

with every problem I had.

- Here.
- Thanks.

He was, like, dream dad.

[whispering]:
Is your poop in there?

- Can you believe it?
- I really can't.

TAMI:
I just can't.

- He is amazing.
- I know.

I want one.

You have one.

- Got it.
- [toilet flushing]

MADDY: The genius and I started
hanging out on weekends.

Somehow, he knew exactly
what to do with me.

- [laughing]: This goat.
- [bleating]

- Sounds human.
- Dear God, that's outrageous.

MADDY:
I was regressing nicely.

I let Peter buy me cotton
candy, for f*ck's sake.

Which was beyond the pale,
even for me.

And he got me
a stuffed sea lion.

- [chuckles]
- [sea lion barking]

JONATHAN:
Papa! Papa!

So, let's, uh... Come on.

Why are you pulling me away?

- Papa!
- Uh, let's go look at the monkeys over there.

Are you running away
from that toddler?

What are you talking about?

Oh! Why, it's Johnathan.
Hello!

What are you doing at the zoo?
You could have called us.

I know, it's-it's unusual
for me to be here.

Unexpected.

I'm Maddie. I work with Peter.

I-I'm Leslie.

Leslie's my daughter.

LESLIE:
So, you're working Sundays now?

Yeah, it's-it's brutal.

You know, they'll...
I mean, they're

always pushing us.
Relentless.

And you just decided to take
a break at the zoo. Wow.

- How funny.
- Mm.

- It's a strange thing.
- Yeah.

You have a sea lion.

- Yes, yes, I do.
- May I hold it?

I love him.

- Okay, honey, it's time to give it back.
- No!

- I don't want to.
- PETER: You know what?

Let him keep it. He can have it.
No problem.

- LESLIE: Uh...
- Right?

Right?

Right. Uh, yeah, of course.

[chuckles]:
It's for you.

- Say thank you.
- Thank you. -PETER: Oh... listen,

I-I need to get going
back to work now.

Okay, well, say goodbye
to Grandpa, Jonathan.

- Bye-bye, Grandpa.
- Boof.

Okay, I'll see you soon,
Jonathan?

LESLIE: Am I still
seeing you next Saturday

for brunch, or...
will you be working?

Oh, I'll see you then.

- All righty.
- Bye-bye, buddy.

- JONATHAN: Bye.
- PETER: Goodbye.

JONATHAN:
I want to go see the alligator.

LESLIE: Alligator?
There is no alligator here.

- [laughter]
- WOMAN: Keep up. Keep going.

I loved everything about that.

Really?

'Cause I-I thought you might...

I thought you might not
like the grandpa part.

Are you kidding?
I loved that part.

I loved all of it.

Except for giving
my sea lion away.

I mean, I already named him
Mr. Sea Lion.

- [chuckles]
- I'm sorry.

[both laugh]

Oh, man.

That's beautiful.

- It's a nice color.
- Come on.

[bells chime]

- It's chic, right?
- You need a good coat.

You'll catch cold
in that thing you wear.

- I could live in this.
- Do you want it?

[whispers]:
It's $395.

But do you want it?

I can't believe this is mine.

I love it so much.

- You know what? Do me a favor.
- What?

- Here, come here.
- Yeah?

Just... [sighs]
Humor me.

Let's put the hood up.

Oh, my God.

You're adorable.

What the f*ck are you doing?!

What? You're mad?

- What was that?
- It was a kiss.

I thought we were
going somewhere.

I thought you liked me.

- No, not in that way.
- Really?

- I mean, I'm surprised at...
- You're, like, 30 years older than me.

Are you gonna hold my age
against me?

You've been coming on to me
for weeks now, Madeline.

- Me coming on to you?
- Yeah.

I've been doing but nothing
but telling you!

Telling me what?
What have you told me? What?

Telling you with-with-with
signs and-and words

that-that wouldn't
hurt your feelings

that I'm not into you that way.

What were you thinking?

Can you calm down
and just not act...

act like you're not at least
partly responsible for this?

- Laying on the bed with me?
- That was snuggling.

Oh, is that what you call it?

Because your breasts
were pushed up against me,

- and don't say they weren't.
- Oh, my God.

That wasn't intentional!

What am I supposed to do
with them? They're out front.

It doesn't mean anything.

What kind of snuggling
was it, then?

The... the dad kind.

The dad kind?

So I'm your dad?

We... we talked about this.

You need to grow up.
This is unhealthy.

Oh, and f*cking somebody
40 years younger is?

40? Where'd you come up with 40?

This is a lot of hostility
coming from someone

who let me just buy her
a fancy coat.

There it is.

I can't believe you would
reduce our relationship

to a cold calculation.

What is this? Coat for sex?

Are you serious?

This was a transaction?

- Wait, what are you doing? Now, don't put...
- No, I just...

- Take it. Take it. Here, take it.
- No, just...

I'm sorry. I should...
I shouldn't have said that.

I want you to have the coat.

It wasn't a trade.
Of course not.

You're freezing. Put it on.

No, I don't want to touch
that coat ever again.

Just f*ck that coat!

Well, then, here, would...

Will you put mine on?

This got out of hand.
I didn't mean what I said.

Okay? I'm just... I...

I feel like a fool, okay?

[crying]:
I'm the stupid one.

Of course you weren't gonna

buy me a coat
because you're nice.

Because I need one, because...

because you wanted
to take care of me for a bit.

I mean, how-how could I think
that that was enough for you?

I don't know, Madeline.
Is it enough...

for most men,
in your experience?

I don't know.

I... I don't have
any experience with men.

But I don't know
what it-it feels like...

to just...

have a man look after you
just 'cause.

You were expecting a lot
if you really thought

it was gonna stay platonic.

I mean, what was supposed to be
in it for him?

Me. All of me.

Except for sex.

You sure you don't want
to sleep with Grandpa?

I'm not attracted to him.

Come on, Tami. I mean, you're
the one that said it was creepy.

It is creepy, but who cares?

You gotta take the bad
with the good.

And also,
the pilot light is out,

and we need someone to fix it.

Don't you think you could
give him another chance?

MADDY: I closed my eyes
and tried to feel good

about sex with the genius.

I really tried.

- [panting] - Does that feel good?
Do you like that?

- You're so hot. You're like...
- [shushing]

- Don't say anything, okay?
- Mm-hmm.

But I couldn't
envision myself with him.

I just wasn't attracted
to him that way.

I decided I had to let go
of the genius entirely.

[quiet chatter]

Madeline?

Yeah?

Uh... can I talk to you
for a minute outside?

- MADDY: What's up?
- PETER: I have something

important that I want
to say to you.

Oh, my God. I'm fired.

- What?
- I'm fired. Y-You're getting me fired.

- No, hold on. Hold on a second.
- Am I right? Am I right?

- No, look. Just...
- B-Because usually that's... that's what happens.

- Will you just...
- I've disturbed you,

so you're gonna find a way
to remove me

from your field of vision,

and I'll get a bad
performance review,

and they'll find out that
I've been photocopying a lot,

- and-and they'll fire me.
- Look. Look. Look.

None of that's gonna happen.

- Really?
- Really.

We both did this.

I would never
blame it all on you.

I would never try
to get you to leave.

Okay?

Look. I wanted a moment with you
because I wanted to...

to tell you...

that I'm leaving.

What?

I'm leaving.

I'm taking a little break away.

What? All of a sudden?

I was able to arrange
a sabbatical.

Is it... is it because of me?

Yes.

I'm sorry. I-I-I never...

No, don't be. Don't. It...

- I never... I never...
- Yeah, I know.

It was eye-opening.

[stammering]

[shuddering breaths]

Are you crying?

Aren't-aren't you...

Aren't you a little old
to be crying?

Why can't I cry?

Why can't I have emotions
about this?

Just 'cause I'm older?

It's bullshit that, you know,

older people have...
have it together.

It's... more of the same.

You're just trying
to figure it out.

I really am sorry.

I have something
that I want to say to you,

and I want you to really listen
and take it in, Madeline.

Okay.

I want you to know that...

that you're a wonderful girl.

You're smart.

Resourceful, beautiful.

And you will accomplish
whatever...

whatever you set your heart on.

You have grown up to be
an extraordinary young woman.

You're the daughter
of any father's dreams.

I am very...

very, very proud of you,
Madeline.

MADDY: And in that
moment, something shifted.

Watching the genius walk away
from me, I felt released.

Split open.

His words
had been transformational.

Suddenly,
I was finally grown up.

Wait!

♪ After all these years,
it's still the same ♪

♪ After all this time,
not much to say ♪

♪ I just keep walking away ♪

♪ From this day ♪

♪ You can still feel small
though you are grown ♪

♪ You can be surrounded
but alone ♪

♪ You can go searching
for home ♪

♪ In a place
you've never known ♪

♪ Take my hand ♪

♪ I don't want this day to end ♪

♪ And I don't want
to look forward. ♪
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