01x15 - I Wouldn't Say That

[bunniefuu]

I was so very happy when you smiled at me, A smile that melted everything away.

Spring is still far away, and within the cold ground, I awaited the time when sprouts would put forth their buds.

Even supposing today there may have been some pain, And though the scars of yesterday remain, You can go on living as much as your heart wants to believe.

You cannot be born again, although You can go on changing yourself, and so Let's stay together, always.

Um, Shigure-san?

I wanted to talk to you about May 1st.

Would it be okay with you if I went out in the afternoon?

Of course that's all right.

I have things to do on that day too, so I'll be out.

What's up?

Are you going out somewhere with Saki-chan and them?

Yes! It's the anniversary of Mother's passing, so we're going to go pay respects at her grave.

Ah This will mark the first anniversary, huh?

Yes.

We won't be doing anything particularly special, though.

I'm sorry I won't be able to go.

No, not at all! Would Would it be okay if I went?

Huh?

B- but I'd like to pay my respects to your mother, Honda-san.

Thank you very much! Mother will be happy as well! Kyo-kun, if you don't have anything in particular to do, you should go pay your respects as well.

So, the prince is coming too?

What about Kyon?

I don't know.

He didn't say anything.

Kyoko-san probably would've liked Kyon.

She would've played around and teased him like crazy! - Tangerine! Tangerine! Gonna eat you up! - Yow! Cut it out! And then, she would have hugged Sohma Kyo, who would be seething with anger, so hard, it would have made his backbone creak.

That would have been terrible, for several reasons! It's already been one year, huh?

Since your mother passed away Even now, I feel like she might pop up out of nowhere, you know?

"Sorry, sorry!" she'd say, with a great big smile Geez, I guess I'm bringing everyone down.

Still, that only goes to show how great a person Kyoko-san was.

Just like the legendary "Red Butterfly of Kannana" that she was.

That sublime Dekotora will also be engraved upon my heart for the rest of my life.

is a .

No it's not! It'd be nice if all of us could go visit her gravesite, huh?

Yes! Hey, I'm going too! To visit the gravesite! What are you telling me for?

Shut up! I said I'm going, so I'm going! What are you drawing?

It's a small temple, huh?

Yes.

I like how it has an "at-home" feel to it.

How do you go looking for something like that in a temple?

Do you find that strange!?

Nah, it's fine, I guess.

Still It's nice that the weather cleared up.

It has been kind of unsettled lately, so I was worried.

Perhaps it's because Mother is so happy.

After all, everyone has come to pay their respects at her grave, and all.

Tohru! 'Sup! Nice day to visit a grave, huh?

Yes! What is with those outfits!?

What's with what?

Maybe this was too low-key after all.

That's not what I mean! Uotani-san is that, by any chance a battle coat?

I'm surprised you knew.

This, you see, is the distinguished Red Butterfly battle trench coat that I got from Kyoko-san.

Red Butterfly?

That was Mother's name, back when she was still in the ranks.

In the ranks?

You say that so cheerfully Alrighty! The members have all gathered, so let's get going! They're cheerful They're positively cheerful! Honda Family - Huh?

- It has already been tidied up, huh?

Has somebody already been here?

It must have been Grandpa.

Grandpa knows what kind of food Mother likes, after all.

Your granddad?

Ah, him.

Right.

Your grandpa, which one is he?

My father's father.

Kyoko-san and her own parents drifted apart, and all.

Your father how did he?

He had a cold that ran into complications or so I'm told.

I was still very little, so I don't remember very much.

Mother, we're here! We're here.

Your grandpa even washed it, so there's not much for us to do, is there?

Right.

Her father d*ed and her mother d*ed so how come How come she doesn't cast any dark shadows, and she is always smiling like that?

I remember what happened the day of the accident.

In the middle of class, she was called out by another teacher, and after they spoke for a moment, she rushed out of the classroom.

Her two friends also went after her, and for a while, the whole classroom was restless.

While that was going on, I absentmindedly thought to myself that maybe someone in her family had been in an accident That was the only vague awareness of her existence that I had This Honda Tohru person And yet, now, for her to be living in the same house like this for her to be so near Yuki-kun, please look at these! Such magnificent flowers! To think that I would be smiling together with her it's so strange Everything is ready! This looks delicious, Tohru! You can't have a picnic in front of a gravesite!! Huh?

It's all right! Kyoko-san would be happier if we all made a little noise.

What if someone from the temple sees us?

! Then we'll just apologize, right?

But usually you don't do this.

Anyways, stop complaining and sit down, Kyon! We can't relax with you standing around.

Kyo-kun, what can I get for you?

Whatever.

Okay.

Uotani-san, you two were good friends with Honda-san's mother?

She treated us well.

Even before we knew her, she was a legendary figure, so we admired her.

Legendary?

You know! The legend of the Red Butterfly! You know! What is this legend!?

This is delicious.

When Kyoko-san would ride her bike, her red taillight would twinkle, as if it was a butterfly flitting around.

I don't get it one bit! How can you not get it!?

- This is delicious too.

- You seriously got no sense of imagination, do you!?

- Oh, this has a nice flavor as well.

- Shut up! Don't you tell me that! - Ah, this really is delicious.

- What did you say, you bastard!?

Tohru-kun has hung in there, huh?

During the time it took her to be able to smile like this, one year later, I'm sure that she must have scolded herself countless times for starting to feel discouraged.

When I think of what would happen if someone important to me d*ed, I I don't know if I would be able to smile the same way a year later.

For example, if Tohru-kun were to die it would be so hard on me, that I wonder if I would rather wish that I had never met her.

Tohru-kun has hung in there, huh?

Well, there is another thing All in all, those two also have something to do with it, don't they?

The air about those three has gotten increasingly better this last while, hasn't it?

Yes, it has.

I'll bet that some day, one of them will say that they've become fond of Tohru, or something.

Oh, no you don't.

I won't allow them to date Tohru-kun that easily.

Who are you, the future mother-in-law?

Oh, I was half-joking.

Then you were half-serious?

Sohma Yuki and Sohma Kyo both still seem to have a deep-seated hatred, which has control over their hearts, like a dark shadow over them, the same as ever.

Anybody could have something like that inside them, but their's is a serious case.

So long as their hatred remains, I doubt that there is any room for love, is there?

I would tell them so, but those two seem to be terribly dim when it comes to that kind of thing.

Tohru is the same way, isn't she?

Even so, there are cases where, without knowing the reasons, love blossoms before they even realize it.

I just couldn't bear to have Tohru-kun get married.

Just thinking about it makes me want to cry.

You're jumping too far ahead, I tell you.

Tea at the end of a long hard day like today is delicious.

We sure were able to have an enjoyable gravesite visit today.

I'm glad I was able to introduce you to Yuki-kun and Kyo-kun, Mother.

Mother, those two are the gentlemen who are always looking after me.

It would be nice if sometime, you were able to meet Shigure-san, as well.

Mother, I am enjoying every day living together with everyone in this house, so you can continue to not worry, and keep watching over me, okay?

Mother Thanks for taking time out yesterday.

We should be the ones thanking you.

That was really a treat.

Tohru-kun, your skill at cooking seems to be getting better and better.

You're ready to become someone's bride at any time now, not like myself U- um Toh~ru~! Hide me, hide me! M- Momiji-kun! Right now, see, we're playing cops and robbers! I'm the robber! Momiji! It's no use trying to hide! They found me! See ya! W- watch where you're going! Men, I've located Momiji! Let's get him! They're spirited, huh?

It's nice.

W- watch out Still, no matter how you cut it, it looks like a girl is being assaulted by those boys.

He takes after his mother, huh?

Oh, how right of you to say so.

Boys take after their mothers, and girls take after their fathers, or so they say.

Tohru-kun, you take after your father more so than you take after your mother, huh?

Or maybe even more so, your grandpa.

Now that you mention it, Momiji's parents didn't come to the entrance ceremony, did they?

The same as that other boy, the one with the white hair.

Come to think of it It's more than that.

I never hear the Sohma folks talk about their parents very much at all.

That looks heavy.

I'll give you a hand! M- Momiji-kun, what are you doing here?

This, see, is my Papa's building.

Oh, so your father works in this building, then?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, then again, Mm-mm.

You know what?

My Papa Ah, young master! So this is where you are.

The president has been looking for you for some time.

Mm-hmm, tell Papa that it's okay, and that I'm leaving now.

Sure.

Young master?

President?

"Soma Bldg 12 Service entrance" "Soma Bldg 12 Service entrance" This here, you see, is my Papa's twelfth building.

S- so that's what you meant!?

See?

I have a picture! Look! Ta-da~! What a handsome father.

That's my Mama.

She's a beautiful lady, and looks so kind.

She really is pretty.

Papa, you see Papa is one of the Sohma.

And so, when Papa was in college, he met her, and they got married.

Papa was very lucky to be able to get my Mama, as pretty as she is, huh?

Know what, know what?

I have a younger sister.

Her name is Momo.

Momo looks just like Mama.

M- Momiji-kun, you have siblings!?

Mm-hmm! She's a second-year elementary student.

Ah, but Momo isn't one of the zodiac.

Even so, even so, she looks just like Mama, see, and she's terribly spoiled! She clings behind Mama like she was a baby chick! But she's not very good at talking, you know?

She has a kind of a lisp, see?

It's awfully cute! He seems happy.

Mama and Momo, see, they usually come to pick Papa up.

Oh, it must be just about time.

Well then, you can all go home together, right?

Sure, it would be cool if we could go home.

But Mama doesn't know about me.

Oh, Momiji-chan?

What are you doing here at this hour?

Speak of the devil, it's her! So then this must be Momo-san.

So then, Momiji-kun takes after his mother after all.

I have a friend who works part-time here, so I came to visit with her for fun.

Mama doesn't know about me.

Is that so?

Still, this isn't any place for you to be playing, you know?

Right! Sorry.

Besides if you come home too late, your mother will be worried about you.

It's okay.

I'm going now.

Really?

Don't stop anywhere on the way home, now.

Thank you for working so hard at cleaning.

Oh, s- sure Come on, Momo, let's go.

Papa is going to get tired of waiting for us.

Just my luck! She saw me.

I'll have to apologize to Papa later.

Momiji-kun Mama doesn't know me.

She's forgotten.

She had her memory erased.

Mama thinks that I'm one of the other Sohma's children.

Children who are possessed by evil spirits are born fully 2 months earlier than the usual pregnancy term.

Once you meet someone you love, marry someone you love, give birth to the child you had with someone you love, and then, embrace that child, just to have it turn into a strange little baby animal I wonder how disheartening that must be for a mother.

Mothers who have children that are possessed by evil spirits either overprotect them to unnecessary lengths, or reject them altogether, one or the other.

My Mama was one of those that rejected.

She rejected me with her whole body, and arranged it so that she couldn't see me.

Even at that, she was always irritable, and she was always screaming things hysterically.

Thinking about it now, she must have had a breakdown, like Kana did.

Momiji Mama might be lost to us.

But, she says that if she were to forget about you, Momiji, then maybe she would get better.

Momiji, I know you must think that this is very painful, but your Papa will love you lots and lots, enough for both of us.

Momiji, if you love Mama, won't you help her out?

You're sure you're sure you want to forget?

You won't regret it?

The greatest regret of my life is that I brought forth that creature out of my body! And so, I was erased from Mama's memories.

Mama rapidly got better.

Two months later, she got so she was able to smile.

I wonder, was I able to help Mama?

And so, he's been watching over her all this time.

From a distance, so she wouldn't find out, just like he did today.

But there's something I believe I want to live my life, carrying my memories with me.

Even if those memories are painful, even if those memories do nothing but hurt me Even those memories I wish I could forget As long as I keep carrying them with me, and don't run away from them, someday someday, I believe I will get to the point where I'm not oppressed by those memories.

That's what I want to believe.

I'd like to think that there's not a single memory that I have which would be okay to forget.

That's why I didn't really want Mama to forget about me.

I really didn't.

But, that would have been selfish of me, so it's a secret.

Even supposing today there may have been some pain, Someday, it will be a warm memory, If you throw your whole self at it, heart and all.

Me too Me too You will know the reasons why we live here, I believe it too! You will know the reasons why we live here, And learn the joy that comes from being born, Let's stay together, always.

No matter the memory, I want to be sure to hold it to my heart, Let's stay together, always.

And go on believing.

I'd like to think that there isn't a single memory that would be okay for me to forget, and I believe that someday someday, I will become someone who isn't oppressed by them, and that someday, I will even transcend them, and they will become precious memories to me I believe it Now let us circle together, around a pleasant dinner.

Come, take today's tears, and make them tomorrow's strength.

La, la, la Wonderful love and life La, la, la Adorable love and life La, la, la Wonderful love and life Say, say, come tomorrow, why don't we all go stay over somewhere?

After all, there's nothing going on for Golden Week, and it's going to be dull, right?

We have the opportunity, so let's go somewhere! We'll borrow the Sohma cottage, or go to a spa, or something.

What do you say, Tohru-kun?

B- but, I've already let you take me on a hot springs trip once But I didn't get to go with you at that time, did I?

To tell the truth, I felt kind of jealous