03x02 - Double Hubble

[bunniefuu]

I am appointing you
lantern monitor...

Could I make my mum magic
if I had an extraordinary potion?

A wishing star. The most highly
concentrated potion in witchcraft.

She cheated!

Mildred Hubble is an honest witch.

Miss Cackle offered me the job
earlier and I accepted.

Mum!

That's Ms Hubble, to you!

It really is
a most dangerous decision.

I disagree.

The girls will benefit from
a more balanced education.

Mildred will be a problem shared

and Ms Hubble,
to whom we owe a debt of gratitude,

will get a well-deserved
opportunity.

Well, I for one intend to
give her a wide berth.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Who is it?

Ethel Hallow, Miss Cackle.

Well met, Miss Cackle,
Miss Hardbroom.

I wanted to talk to you,
at your earliest convenience.

I don't know about convenient,

I've got an important
announcement to make.

But come on in.

Now, what's this all about?

The wishing star, Miss Cackle,

and how Mildred Hubble
cost me what's rightfully mine.

I'm definitely not picking
Spell Science as an option.

I think it's compulsory.

Well met, Ms Hubble, and welcome.
We're delighted your joining us.

I've assigned Miss Hardbroom
as your mentor.

She'll show you around,
help you get settled in.

Hard luck, Miss H. You're stuck
with the new girl who doesn't know

one end of a broom from the other!

Shall we?

Here goes everything.

- Good morning, everyone.
- ALL: Good morning, Miss Cackle!

I wanted to take this opportunity
to introduce you to Ms Hubble,

your new art teacher.

- What? Since when?!
- Is that Mildred's mum?

It can't be, she's not a witch!

You've got to be kidding me!

If there are any questions...

Right.

In that case, breakfast on.

Snail and suet porridge.

I'm fine, thank you.

Ah, Miss Bat. Welcome to Cackles,
onward, ever striving on.

Mr Rowan Webb.

Delighted, my dear.

I'm so happy you're here!

I think Miss Drill is grateful
to have a colleague

who is not quite so ancient!

Well, we're all young at heart.

Though slightly older
in other places.

Perhaps I should show
Ms Hubble around the academy.

Right. Yes. Good idea.

Come and find as at break time.
We'll fill you in.

Carry on, girls, as you can see,
Ms Hubble is quite unremarkable.

I expect they'll settle down,
get used to me.

Perhaps, if you last
the preliminary probation period.

Oh, Miss Cackle
didn't mention anything about...

It is standard practice,

a safety net
for both employer and employee.

Yes, of course.

You may grow weary
of our witchy ways.

And we may discover there is nothing
we can learn from you.

I hope not.

Do not force yourself to fit in
where you do not belong.

My mum would make
a much better teacher.

She'd raise the IQ
of the whole academy.

Well, people can be clever
in different ways.

I just wanted to say,
you were fantastic in the air.

The wishing star
should definitely be yours.

It's a complete travesty, but Miss
Cackle won't listen to reason.

Your control was masterful.

And Mildred Hubble cheated.

I know. And I can't abide a cheat.

But what about the time you cloned
yourself, and the time you...?

Thank you, Sybil.

Everyone including the Great Wizard
knows how you feel about me.

Look at her, as happy
as a witch in a broomstick factory.

It's like Miss Cackle's
rewarding her

for tricking me out of my prize.

First that drippy dog,
now her mother.

It is a bit weird that she's
employed a non-magical teacher.

Yeah. We're here to learn
witchcraft, not handicrafts.

[SHE LAUGHS]
You are funny, Claris!

You're learning about fly
transformations, aren't you?

Anyone want to learn some
next-level stuff?

Yes, yes. We'd love to! Wouldn't we?

No? Not interested?

Looks like it's just
you and me, then.

It's amazing, isn't it?

Your mum will be the first-ever
non-magical teacher

at any witching academy ever.

Well, you've seen the plaque.
Us Hubbles make history.

[BELL RINGS]

We've run out of time.

But there's plenty more
where that came from.

Are you ready to
knock their boots off?

Totally. You're the best teacher.

You mustn't let the others
hold you back, OK?

You're a star, you deserve to shine.

Thanks, Ethel.

We've both got
a lot to do this morning.

A-ha! Latecomer penalty question.

What is the difference between
a bird and a fly?

A fly is an arthropod insect whilst
a bird is a warm-blooded vertebrate.

No!

A bird can fly,
but a fly can't bird!

Ha-ha-ha, a fly can't...bird.

Art isn't something
that can really be taught.

I mean, it is, that's why I'm here.

But...

But, take these plants. I mean,
I would say that they're green.

But are they?

Oh, glad you could
make it, Ethel.

Late but worth the wait, Ms Hubble.

Good to know.
We were just getting started.

Now, all great artists
take inspiration from nature.

So, give me your interpretation

of this Venus flytrap.

Now, there's no right or wrong.
Just have a go.

Experiment.

Time to show my awesome powers

With a picture of sunflowers

Magic through my paintbrush flow

Create that canvas by van Gogh.

Finished, Ms Hubble.

Really?

Let's have a look.

Pretty good, isn't it?

It's a masterpiece.

But it's not your masterpiece.

I was experimenting.

Well, that's good,
that's good, but, you know,

my classes are about
using your own skills,

not magic.

If you were magic, you'd realise
that was pretty pointless.

Well, I'd like you to
do it again, please.

And this time, paint it yourself.

Remember, an original is always
worth more than a copy.

Brambles mixed with Burdock root
creates an insect...

Never mute, buzzing
through the air with glee,

this pencil now becomes a bee.

Wait a minute!

These are extra difficult
because of the stripes.

Ethel and I are doing ladybirds
next in...

Quiet!

Not only was that
not the spell I requested,

but it's very rude to interrupt.

You just interrupted me!

I was interrupting
your interruption!

Is it not interrupting
if you interrupt an interruption?

That's enough, Miss Twigg.

Not another word
for the rest of this class.

Oh, sorry, Ms Hubble!

That's all right, Ethel.

I think there's cleaning stuff
in the cupboard next to the sink.

Oh!

[THEY LAUGH]

Oh, not that one. That's where
the art room bats sleep.

Cut it out, Ethel.

It was an honest mistake.

I think it's
the next door along, Ms Hubble.

Do you want me to?

[SHE SCREAMS]

[THEY LAUGH]

I thought the mop was missing.

It's right here.

Whoo!

I'll clean up, shall I?

Blues and reds, show no restraint

Cover our teacher in copious paint

Front, back, behind, atop

Douse her now with every drop.

Mildred...

- What's happening?
- [THEY LAUGH]

Leave my mum alone, Ethel.

And stop laughing, all of you!

It's not her fault she's not magic!

[SHE SCREAMS]

What is the meaning of this?

Oh, Miss Hardbroom,
you made me jump.

Wipe those inane grins
off your faces.

It's fine, it's fine!

It's all good!

You know, creativity is messy
and I'm very creative, so...

You are a teacher, Ms Hubble,
not a clown.

May I suggest you read up on
classroom protocol,

or you will find yourself
in charge of a circus.

Good advice, noted.

Just carry on with
your work, everyone.

[BELL RINGS]

Please be careful.
Too many flakes of flint

and you get a dragonfly,
not a firefly!

Not so fast, Miss Twigg.

Did you get a chance to think about
your behaviour?

It's not my fault
I'm smarter than everyone else.

Ooh! Is that so? Can I suggest
you check that ego, amigo?

No-one likes a know-it-all.

Claris, wait.

I need to speak to Ethel.

Since when were she and Ethel BFFs?

I don't know.

But my sister's
definitely up to something.

Come on. Move along, you lot. I need
to get ready for my next lesson.

I'll see you in Potions.

Thanks, Ms Hubble.

I do hope this won't mess up
your probation.

Well, that couldn't have gone
any worse.

It wasn't that bad.

What did Ethel mean, probation?

Apparently, I'm on trial. If I'm
not up to scratch problem out.

Since when?

Found out this morning.

My next class are on their way.

I'm never going to get
cleaned up in time.

Maybe coming here was a bad idea.

I don't think I'm cut out
for teaching.

No. Please, Mum.

My first day was terrible, too,
but I didn't give up.

You had magic on your side.

You've got me.

No. No magic. Promise me.

But...

Promise.

No more wild ideas
or silly scrapes, remember?

That was funny
what you did back there.

I felt bad laughing,
but my readers will love it.

Tell them I'm just getting started.

What's up? You look like you lost
a broomstick and found a twig?

I did the spell and Mr Rowan Webb
called me a know-it-all.

Total twaddle.
He's just trying to dim your light.

I know what'll cheer you up.

Meet me in the art room at
break-time to see some major magic.

Really? I'll be there.

How's your new friend?

Almost exactly where I want her.

Is Old Mother Hubble OK?

Put a sock in it, Ethel.

Less dawdling.

Today's task is to brew up
a digestion potion.

We've got to do something.
Make Mum the best teacher.

Concentrate.

It's such a relief to be
back in a controlled classroom.

What do you mean?

- I wouldn't like to speak out of turn.
- Naturally.

Art with Miss Mould was horribly
hopeless, but at least we felt safe.

I see. Thank you, Ethel.

What would be
the best art lesson ever?

We could turbo-power
the paintbrushes.

Yeah, but we can't use magic.
I promised my mum.

I have some business to take care
of. Continue in absolute silence.

Did we have a meeting?

I thought might like
the Hubble headlines.

What are you doing?

I'm making a living paint potion
to teach Ms Hubble a lesson.

Which is more than she can do.

All the pictures we have painted

Come to life and get acquainted

Make Ms Hubble scream and cry

And leave poor Mildred high and dry.

: Ms Hubble was spotted wearing
non-regulation footwear.

Rule five, paragraph two of
the witches code expressly states...

Right, but she's not
actually a witch.

So we can't...

Hold her to the same standards?

Julie's here to bring some balance.
Take Mildred under her wing.

: Ms Hubble was heard
addressing a teacher

using an unauthorised diminution...

[BELL RINGS]

Clarice?

Clarice, are you there?

[SNARLING]

[SHE SCREAMS]

Help! Somebody help me, please!

Somebody! Anybody!

Ethel? What the heck?!

Don't just stand there!

Get it off me!

Can't you do something magicky?

I didn't look up the reversal spell!

I'll get help.

No! Don't leave me!

I'll think of something.

She is out of her depth
and drowning.

She will not last the week!

[SHOUTING]

What was that?

Sounds like Julie Hubble.

[SNARLING]

They're too strong.

We need magic. It's the only way.

Forget that! Cover me!

What?! Why?

Just trust me!

Go, go, go!

Photosynthesise that!

It's working!

What on Earth is going on?

Miss Cackle and Miss Hardbroom
were just looking for your mum.

What?! You don't think they're
sacking her already, do you?

Are you coming to see Ethel's
spell? I hope we haven't missed it.

What spell?

I'm not sure. She just told me
to go to the art room.

It was water-based paint,
so I thought...

Clever. Very clever.

Mum, is everything all right?
What happened?

Thank you, Mildred. That's what
we're trying to work out.

I think Miss Hallow
might have some explaining to do.

I...

I cast a living paint spell.

What on Earth possessed you?

She was trying to make my mum look
bad while she was still on trial.

Miss Hardbroom told me about
the preliminary probation period.

We'll discuss this later.

Right now I'd like Ethel to explain

why she felt the need to torment
Ms Hubble in the first place.

I don't want a non-magical teacher.

There's nothing
I can learn from her.

Cackles girls
are the witches of the future.

With an attitude like yours,

I shudder to think
what that future will be.

Tidy up this mess.

Then go to your room while I decide
on an appropriate punishment.

It seems we owe you yet another
debt of gratitude, Ms Hubble.

I wish common-sense was more common.

We witches tend to rely on magic -
spell first, think later.

It's one of the reasons you're
such a great addition to the team.

Rest assured,
your probationary period is over.

You know why
I did what I did, right?

We came here to learn,

to be the best witches
we can possibly be.

The others won't get it.

But you're clever, you understand.

I did it for us.

Clarice, we heard what happened.
Are you OK?

I didn't mean for
any of this to happen.

Don't bother with the tears.

I'm glad you finally got
a taste of your own potion.

Can you finish tidying up, Clarice?

It's all too much for me.

You'll come and see me later,
won't you?

We can move on from
bees to ladybirds.

You don't have to.

I want to.

Stop. Clarice, she's using you.

Ethel never does anything for anyone

unless she wants something
in return.

How can you be so mean
about your own sister?

You've seen what she is capable of.
You could have all been plant food.

She said you wouldn't understand.

- Oh, Miss Hardbroom, you made me...
- Jump?

You will have to get used to
our ways, Ms Hubble.

We do not adapt, we do not survive.

You must be relieved
your first day is over.

I am sorry if there were
any misunderstandings.

Oh, I think we understand
each other perfectly, Miss H.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

Oh, looks interesting.

I make the gravy extra gloopy.

Fills them up quicker.

I'm afraid non-magicals aren't
permitted at the teachers' table.

[THEY LAUGH]

I do not make the rules, Ms Hubble.

Nobody speaks to my mum like that.

Hold on, Mil.
What are you going to do?

[KNOCKING]

I brought you some pie.
It's a bit rubbery.

Thanks. You're a star.

Speaking of which, all this
boil and bubble with Ms Hubble,

it's embarrassing,
but part of me is still angry

that Mildred cost me
the wishing star.

Sybil said that was the reason.

What Sybil doesn't understand is,
I wanted to win it for her.

I'd do anything for my sisters.

I took the founding stone
for Esmerelda,

I wanted to restore
the family name for Sybil.

You'd give up your wish for her?

Absolutely.

If I wasn't in so much trouble
already, I'd go get the star myself.

Family always comes first.

And friends.

They're the family
you choose yourself.

Miss Hardbroom put the wishing star
in Miss Cackle's office.

The door's not locked.

Because no-one would dare
go in there.

Just whizz in and out. Bring me back
what's rightfully mine.

Wait! Mil, we should stop, think,
make a plan.

Not we - me.

I've got to sort this out for Mum.

She saved Ethel but it made
no difference whatsoever.

She's never going to fit in.

Don't follow me.

I repeat, do not follow me.

[KNOCKING]
That was quick.

[SHE CLEARS HER THROAT]

Miss Cackle!

You were expecting someone else?

No. No. Nobody else, Miss Cackle.

I've decided on your punishment.

Oh, great. Fantastic.

You will write,
in perfect handwriting,

an essay of , words entitled,
What I Love About Witching,

due in by the end of tomorrow.

Consider it
your apology to Ms Hubble.

Brilliant. OK.

Just an essay?

For now.

Do you have any other questions?

Can I start right away?

Clarice.

I just wanted to...

Yes.

To apologise.

I hope I wasn't too harsh before.

But it's important you don't
steal your friend's thunder.

People who shine
don't need the spotlight.

So, keep calm
and stay out of trouble.

Yes?

[SHE SIGHS]

I'm in such a pickle.

Star light, star bright

With this star I free tonight

Fly up high
amongst turrets and towers

Gift my mum with magical powers.

I turned you into a witch, Mum.
Isn't it brilliant?

I've just fallen out of the sky.
I do not call that brilliant!

My essay!

I can't trust myself to
think anything. Stuff just happens!

There is a thief in our midst.

May I suggest that
you speak to the Hubbles?