03x10 - ...lived the dream

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Never Have I Ever". Aired: April 27, 2020 –; present.*
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After a traumatic year, a first-generation Indian-American teenager wants to improve her status at school, but friends, family, and feelings don't make it easy on her.
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03x10 - ...lived the dream

Post by bunniefuu »

It's the last day of school, folks.

And Devi was feeling good.

She'd moved on from Des,

and was one step closer to the pinnacle
of human existence, senior year.

Devi Vishwakumar, we need to chat.

Oh no. Is this because
I made Mr. Shapiro cry?

All I did was ask him
how the dating apps are treating him.

Relax. Relax.
You're not in trouble for once.

Have you heard
of the Shrubland School?

Uh, yeah? Maybe? Isn't it like
that fancy boarding school in Colorado?

Yes, ma'am.

It is an intensive one-year program
for academically gifted seniors.

Every year, we nominate
our top junior, and you got in.

- I did?
- Mm-hmm.

Whoa. Wait. Can I put
that I got in on my college apps?

You know what would be even better?
Going there.

- Yeah.
- Oh.

Wait. So, like, moving to Colorado?

Yes. All the Shrubland kids
go to the top colleges.

This could be your golden ticket
into Princeton, young lady.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

But just to clarify,

that means I wouldn't be here
in Sherman Oaks for my senior year?

No, Devi. Do we need a geography lesson?

You would have to say goodbye.

Here you go. Congratulations.

You! Give me that g*n!

Hmm.

What is that? Holy sh*t.
Did you get into Shrubland?

Sure did.

Wow, I guess they'll let anyone in.

Hmm. Someone a little butt hurt
that they weren't even nominated?

No, I don't need to go
to some bullshit hippie school

and commune with crystals or whatever.

I'm happy to get into an Ivy
the old-fashioned way.

Oh! Using your dad's connections?
Good for you.

Hmm, any chance you'll leave today?

I actually haven't decided if I'm going.

What? What do you mean
you haven't decided?

Shrubland is the Exeter of the Rockies.

You just called it
a bullshit hippie school.

Yeah, out of pettiness. You have to go.

But do I really want to spend
my last year in a shack in the woods?

What about prom,
or a senior prank, or hazing freshmen?

Okay, Animal House.
You can't haze freshmen anymore.

Trying to get rid of me so you have no
competition for valedictorian next year?

No, although the thought of being able
to dominate the school in peace

without you buzzing behind me like
a bloodthirsty mosquito does sound nice.

- Hmm.
- But for real, David, it's dumb not to go.

While Ben insisted Devi ditch
her John Hughes dreams of senior year,

her friends had a very different stance.

No! You can't leave! Trent is already
abandoning me by graduating.

I know! Like, how can I miss out
on senior year with you guys?

I still feel like we have so much
to accomplish together before college.

I mean, Fabiola and I are still virgins.

Oh, right. Um...

Fab, what's that face?

Okay. So, last week, Addison and I
were watching The Mandalorian,

and it set a mood,

and one thing led to another,
and we did it.

- Fab!
- Oh my God!

You did? That's frigging amazing!

Congratulations
on your loverhood.

Man, I can't believe
you kept that from us.

I'm sorry. It's just
I'm not as announce-y as you guys are.

So, how was it with Addison?

Amazing. I think they awoke
something in me.

I'm a sensual person now.

I sext.

Oh my God.
Do you guys know what this means?

I'm the only virg left.

I thought I'd be the first to do it
because I'm competitive and thirsty.

- Don't worry. It will happen for you.
- Yeah.

Not if I go to this place.
You think these dorks are porkin'?

Forget it. I don't want to miss out
on any milestones with you guys,

and I can't be one of those dusty old nuns
who doesn't lose it until college.

- I'm staying put.
- Really? Thank God.

Yes!

- Yo, yo, yo!
- What up?

- Oh, hey!
- Happy last day of high school ever.

- How you feeling?
- Honestly, it's kind of bittersweet.

I just can't believe that after today
we won't go here anymore.

I need a drink of water.

Is he okay?

No, he's not.

You guys,
he's in such denial about graduating.

He won't talk about it.
He won't clean out his locker.

He's just completely shutting down.

Yeah, he's been pretty weird
for the last week.

Like, even weird by Trent standards.

I think he's really scared
he has to go out and find a job.

But I also think he's sad
to be leaving me.

Aw, El!

Yeah. I don't know
what I'm gonna do without him.

Oh, he's coming back.
Someone change the subject.

Uh, Paxton, I heard you got class speaker.
That's dope.

Oh, yeah. I was really honored
that people voted for me.

No offense, but I don't get why we vote
on who speaks at graduation.

Why don't we just let the valedictorian
talk like at other schools?

Well, I volley your no offense back to you
to say that nerds are boring,

and popular kids are fun and hilarious.

Word.

Trent wasn't wrong.

The popular kids had given
some memorable speeches.

sh*t. I am so drunk.

I love you guys!

And I just want to say
to all you stupid b*tches who doubted me,

you're dead to me.

Later losers!

Well, I'm sure you're gonna crush it.

Yeah, I hope so.

Are you talking about your speech?
You should do like a sexy dance.

Uh, I don't think so, Shira.

You have to do something hot.
'Cause that's like what you're known for.

I'm known for more than that.

I mean,
that is what your senior superlative is.

"Paxton Hall-Yoshida.
Most likely to succeed at hotness"?

Yeah.

So, Devi, how was your last day at school?

Did anything interesting happen?

Mmm, some seniors used some shaving cream
to draw genitalia on the school buses.

Yeah. Terrible.

You're sure shaving cream genitalia

was the most interesting thing
that happened today?

- Mmm.
- Honestly, Devi?

I want to know
about this fancy school you got into.

Principal Grubbs called me.

You think she goes around telling children
about life-changing opportunities

and is like, "Eh, parents don't need
to know"? Get me the brochure.

- It's not that big of a deal.
- It actually is a big deal.

Nobody can get into that school.
I applied to teach there. Rejected.

I'm sorry, sweetheart.

It's for the best. You are too delicate,
Manish, to live at high altitude.

Burn. I thought you liked me now.

I love you, which is why
I worry about how weak you are.

Okay, back to Devi.

I think what we're all trying to say is
we're so impressed you got into Shrubland.

Half of the Scientific American's
20 under 20 went there.

So, uh, you would leave
a year early to go here?

If I were going, yeah. But I already made
up my mind to turn them down.

Are you sure? This school seems like
it could really set you up for success.

Mom, if I needed this school to get
into Princeton, I would go. But I don't.

I have sick grades.
I'm in a billion extracurriculars,

and I have all of my teachers
wrapped around my finger. Right, Mr. K?

- What?
- It's your choice, Devi.

You don't want to go.
I'm not gonna push you.

Really? Um, you're not even
going to go visit?

Honestly, I'm not quite ready
to send her off yet, either.

So, Mami,
what customer service representative

did you scream at today?

Hi, I think we're gonna head out.

Oh, okay. Uh, please thank Manish
for introducing us to TikTok pasta chips.

They were very unique.

I will.

So, listen, I don't wanna interfere,

but I do think
that you should reconsider Shrubland.

I was terrified
to leave my home and my family,

but I'm so thankful that I did

because CalTech has been
this unbelievable opportunity for me.

I never would've grown so much
if my family hadn't pushed me to come.

I'm sorry if I'm overstepping.
I just had to say it.

Okay. Good night.

Good night, Kamala.

I appreciate it.

Of course.

I want to go back to India.
I hate it here.

You hate all of America because some moms
at Devi's preschool were rude to you?

They weren't just rude to me,
they were cruel.

You should have seen their faces
when I put my korma down at the potluck.

They treat me like I'm nothing.

They always act like
they can't understand my accent.

They talk to me like I'm a child.

Am I supposed to endure this
until Devi gets to college?

No, and it will get better.

But the reason we sacrificed
so much to come here

was so that our child

would have every opportunity
to get the best education.

We can't let our needs
stand in the way of that.

In the meantime,
why don't we get on the computer

and subscribe those ladies
to a lot of spam?

If they k*ll off the Indian character,
I'm writing to Netflix.

Uh, Pati,

I think the whole point of Squid Game
is that a lot of people have to die.

- Devi!
- Oh my God!

We're gonna go visit that school
in Colorado.

I've already booked the tickets.
There'll be no discussion.

Hmm?

Yeah, so she's like demanding
I go to this Colorado school

that's basically
where The Shining happened.

I don't need to see no creepy twins.

All right, well, it sounds like your mom
just wants you to visit the school, Devi.

It's not like she's gonna throw you
off the train in the Rocky Mountains.

But it's still a waste of time.
I'm never gonna go there.

So why do I have to visit?

Because you should give it a chance.

You never know.
It could be an amazing opportunity.

Dr. Ryan, I've been planning
my senior year since I hit puberty.

And it has to happen
at my normal high school

doing normal senior stuff
with my mostly normal friends.

Not in the woods with a bunch
of randos with visible pit hair.

Look, I'm not saying
that you have to attend.

I'm just saying it's important
to be open to new experiences.

- Ugh.
- Devi, look.

When you lock yourself
into a dream of what your life should be,

you limit yourself.

And I know for a fact, you, Devi,
are locked into a very particular dream.

You want to date
the hottest guy in school.

You want to be Miss Popularity,
and you just got to go to Princeton.

I will not budge on Princeton.

All I'm saying is
maybe you've outgrown that dream.

I mean, are you still
the same Devi you were freshman year?

I'm not.

You definitely don't say
"word up" as much.

Come on, Doc.

Just try to be open.

Baby, the world is big.

Sometimes it's good to surprise yourself.

Ah. Look, Trent.

Paxton picked up his cap and gown.
How about you? Did you go get yours?

Don't worry about it.

I am worried about it.

- You know graduation's in two days, right?
- Totally.

Babe, I know leaving school is scary,

but I just saw that Buca di Beppo is
looking for a new pasta associate.

That could be a really exciting
new adventure for you.

- Uh-huh.
- Paxton, can you please help?

If you don't show up to graduation,
I'll tell Marcus he's my best friend.

I'll be there, bro.

Great. Now, if you could both take
this conversation outside of my garage,

I gotta finish my speech.

How's that coming?

Do you need me to text Devi for help?
She loves giving speeches,

although mostly in the form of apologies.

No. For the first time,

I think I actually know
exactly what I want to say.

Hmm.

♪ You threw it away so easy ♪

♪ You don't take it personally... ♪

Wow, Devi, look at this place.

Everyone looks so happy and active.

Mmm, it's too outdoorsy. What if a bear
att*cks me on my way to class?

You know I smell delicious
because of all the sugar I eat.

We actually do have
a bear family that visit sometimes,

but the only thing they ever att*ck
is our dumpster.

Hi, are you the Vishwakumars?

Yes, hi. This is Devi.
I'm her mom, Nalini.

You must be Mr. Ferris?

Oh no, call me Leo.

At Shrublands, students refer
to teachers by their first names.

See, Devi? You love
disrespectful nonsense like this.

We think it's important
to empower young adults

to see themselves
as intellectual equals with teachers.

Sure, until you have to tuck 'em in
for lights out at, like, what, 8:00 p.m.?

Oh no, we have flexible curfews.

A lot of the study groups
for the college-level courses

meet in the library pretty late.

College-level courses? Whoa.

Let me give you a tour,

and then, Devi, I'd love for you
to sit in on my next class,

Comparative Literature
and Cultural Theory.

Oh. What an impressive long name.

♪ Why's it always raining ♪

♪ In the bedside falling asleep... ♪

- Hey.
- Hey.

Did you accidentally leave your art stuff
behind too?

No, I didn't forget.

I just couldn't fit it
in the basket of my bicycle,

so my dad drove me here
to pick everything up.

Wait, wait, wait. Hold up.

You ride to school on a bicycle
with a little basket on it?

Yeah, what about it?

You just seem like you'd get dropped off
on a Harley by some tatted-up boyfriend.

Nope. No Harley, no boyfriend.

Hmm. So, you're not like punk rock at all?

Uh, you want to know
what my summer job is?

- Mmm.
- I'm working at Build-A-Bear in the mall.

What?

We're open seven days a week.

I wear a tiny apron and tell kids that
a synthetic lump of stuffing loves them.

- You should come by.
- Yeah. I want to see that. I'm there.

It's a date. I mean, it doesn't have
to be, like, a "date" date. Sorry...

- Uh...
- I'd go on a date.

Oh.

Okay. Cool.

Then we'll go on a date.

Cool.

Oh, well, as fun as it is
silently staring at each other,

I've, uh, got to get back to the car.
My dad overheats easily.

Great. Okay.

Well, I'll call you.

♪ Shake with a fever, I'm a believer ♪

♪ Right in the middle of an omen... ♪

You guys, we have a visitor with us today.

Everyone, say hey to Devi.
She might be joining us next year.

Hi, everyone. Your school is so beautiful
and smells amazing.

Way better than our Glade plugins.

Thank you, Devi.

All right, everyone, I hope you all had
a chance to finish Ficciones last night.

- Yep.
- Oh, yeah.

Okay, so let's do what we do.

I thought it was so interesting how a lot
of his narrators had his own name.

Yeah, I noticed that too. It's like,
they're not him, but they are him.

Yeah, that's exactly right.
Like...

Devi had never been
in a class like this before,

and not because everyone
was sitting on the ground

and talking without raising their hand.

It was that everyone
had actually done their homework

and cared about learning something.

Also, did you notice
the labyrinth motif kept coming up?

That really felt like
a commentary on free will.

What do labyrinths
make you think of, Devi?

Oh, um, I actually haven't read
the book. Sorry.

Oh, don't be sorry.
I know you haven't read it.

I'm just trying to pick your brain.

Mazes, labyrinths.
What do they signify to you?

Oh. Uh...

That there's no one straight path in life?

That we have choices
and some can lead us to dead ends,

but others can take us to places
we never thought we'd go.

Wow. I love it. Thank you, Devi.

Okay.

And, like, you can talk
and express yourself,

and it's cool to be smart.

As it should be.

And there's no UN or Hot Pocket.

Everyone's kind of a nerd.

I think I actually might fit in.

Do either of you want
to switch seats with me

since you're talking
to each other so much?

- No, no. We don't like the middle seat.
- Mm-mm.

Okay, and then?

Mom, I think I want to go.

- You do?
- Mm-hmm.

- Do you want the popcorn?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ooh.

- I got, uh, smoked almonds. Do ya...
- Yeah.

But I thought you said
you didn't want to go!

I know, but once I got there, I liked it.

The competitive part
of me really kicked in.

But what about the horny part of you?

Remember, there are
no sexual prospects there

because they're all crunchy uggos.

Well, then I guess I'll have
to be cool being the sad sack

who goes to college as a virgin.

But, hey, maybe I'll lose it
to a sexy professor

that'll educate me in more ways than one.

All right, it's hard to argue
with that fantasy.

Guys, I know this screws up our plans
for senior year, but I'll be back.

I mean, you both already have
so many cool things going on anyway.

Eleanor, you have your
fancy Hollywood agent and Trent.

And, Fabiola, you're with Addison now.

You guys won't notice that I'm gone.

Not true. But regardless,
you don't leave until the fall.

We still have the summer.

We don't need to be
sad about it right now.

- Oh. We should sit down.
- Yep.

Trent, what are you doing?
Get up there with your class.

They're not my class.

Yes, they are. Go!

No, they're not.

Eleanor, I failed.

I failed senior year,
and now I have to repeat it.

You failed?

I'm so embarrassed.

I didn't want to tell you

'cause I couldn't bear
to see the disappointment in your face.

I'm not disappointed. I'm thrilled.

We get to be together for another year.
Thank God you're so terrible at school.

Thank you, Mr. Wadsworth,

for that riveting discussion
on men's rights.

Shawna, next year I'm gonna need to see

the alumni speech
ahead of time, okay? All right.

Alrighty, class of 2022.

Ah. I think you're gonna be very excited
about our next speaker

because you voted for him.

So please welcome Mr. Paxton Hall-Yoshida.

That's my best friend!

- Hi.
- I'm in love with you!

Thank you.

So, listen, I know
you're all expecting me to, like,

take a sh*t on stage
or do a sexy dance or whatever.

But I'm not gonna do that.

Instead, I'm gonna talk about hard work.

- Boo!
- Trent. Come on, man.

Sorry. Reflex. I love you, bro.

For the longest time,
I never really had to work that hard.

And honestly,
things came really easily for me

because I was dope at swimming,
and according to the yearbook,

I'm kind of pretty.

But then someone
showed me how to push myself.

Whoa.
He's talking about you, Devi.

That's kind of romantic, right?

And that person made me
try things that I was bad at.

Like studying. And it sucked so bad.

But I am so grateful.

Because now I know
that I'm more than just the hot guy

or the popular guy.

I'm actually a really nice guy
and a sort of smart guy.

My advice to you is
to push yourself out there,

defy other people's expectations of you,

and don't ever let a label define you.

And with that, I would like
to hand the mic over to someone who

actually really earned the right to speak,
our valedictorian Brenda Kang.

Hold up.
Devi, why isn't your stomach in knots?

Paxton H-Y basically gave a speech
about you to the entire school.

Do you feel okay?

Are you drunk?

Oh my God.
I am so happy Trent has to stay back.

I don't think
I could handle losing the both of you

now that you're going to Colorado, Devi.

You're going?

Hey, uh, yeah. I just decided.

Okay.

We'll call you later.

O-Okay.

Then I guess I should congratulate you.

Mmm. And I, you.

Now the school's all yours.
Enjoy your reign of terror.

Yeah, right.

It's just that, uh,
I don't want you to go, David.

Sure. Sure, sure, sure.

'Cause you need my annoying personality
to fuel your competitive drive.

I don't think
your personality is annoying.

Hey, I... I like your personality.

- You call me annoying twice a day.
- Yeah, as a joke.

Okay,
then why don't you want me to go?

Because...

I'll miss you.

A lot.

Wait, there's the stomach knots.

Lil' D!

Medium B!

Wow, you did so good up there.

And you made Trent cry.
So mission accomplished.

Yeah, excellent work, bro.

Thanks, guys.

There were a few girls in the front row
who seemed genuinely pissed

I didn't do a sexy dance,

but otherwise, I felt good.

Nice.

Okay, uh, I got to run,
but, uh, congrats, Paxton.

Thanks, man.

So, did you hear my shoutout to you?

I did. Thank you for that.

Yeah.

Well, I owe you a lot, Devi.

I know we've had some ups and downs,

but I probably wouldn't be going
to college if it weren't for you.

Well, I actually have
a lot to thank you for too.

This is a weird thing to say,
and I don't want to creep you out,

but...

...you kind of got me
through the death of my dad.

I did? How?

By being a dream.

Well, hey, you should come visit me
in Arizona some time.

I'll let you do
some of my college-level homework.

- Yeah. Ow! Okay.
- Ah. Seriously?

Paxton!

Dad!

- I'll see ya.
- Oh!

Oh.

Your dad's been crying
since the moment you got on the stage.

I'm just so proud of you.

You were amazing.

- Thanks, Dad.
- Okay, my turn.

As Devi walked home,

she realized that she had spent
so much of her young life

obsessed with the future.

A future where she would finally fit in.

But if today taught her anything,
it was that she already fit in.

And as her father proved,
there are no guarantees in this life.

Suddenly, she felt like the present
was a very precious thing,

and she did not want to waste it.

Mom.

Devi? Are you okay?

I don't want to go.

Uh, you don't want to go where?

To the Shrubland School.

Of course you're going.
We decided.

No, I don't want to leave you yet.

Devi, you have to.

It's for your future.
It's what your father would have wanted.

But I have memories of Dad too,

and he would want us to be together.

I just... I need one more year with you.

We don't know what's gonna happen.

Okay? Look at Dad.

I just... I need more time with you.

Is that okay?

Yeah. It's okay, kanna.

But only one more year.

You can't be like Carol's son
from down the street

who's still living with his mother at 50.

Devi had listened
to Dr. Ryan's advice.

She'd been open,

and even though she was staying
in Sherman Oaks for senior year,

her dream had evolved.

OMG! That sext was meant
for Addison. I'm so sorry!

Hmm.

Hmm?

But there was maybe one part
of the old dream

that still interested her,

and per Dr. Ryan,
she was about to surprise herself.

Hi. Patty let me in.

Okay. What can I help you with?

♪ I was eager, young and abandoning ♪

♪ I would force you to love me ♪

♪ I would force you to stay ♪

♪ I would force you to love me ♪

♪ I would stand in your way ♪

♪ And you can't take off without me now ♪

♪ And you can't take off without me now ♪

♪ And you can't take off without me now ♪

♪ And you can't take off without me now ♪

♪ Traveled to the older spaces ♪

♪ To find you there in the golden places ♪

♪ We made out in Chicago, baby ♪

♪ You grabbed my face ♪

♪ And you can't take off without me now ♪
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