01x09 - Kaguya Wants to Give a Gift/Chika Fujiwara Wants to Pay a Visit/About Kaguya Shinomiya, Part 1

[bunniefuu]

The god of thunder will steal my belly button!

KAGUYA WANTS TO GIVE A GIFT

You're that afraid of thunder?

After all, it suddenly goes cr*ck and then boom!

I hate loud noises!

Then why not cover your ears?

If I cover my ears, then my hands aren't free to protect my belly button!

I'd think that'd be obvious! I'd think that'd be obvious! I'd think that'd be obvious!

What does "obvious" mean again?

Obvious.

I'm protecting my belly button, so please cover my ears, Miss Kaguya.

S-Sure.

OBVIOUS

The trains are stopped because of the typhoon!

That's a pain. You'd better call home.

We don't have a car, so there's nothing they can do about it.

What am I gonna do?

That's right. I can just give him a lift home.

SHUCHIIN ACADEMY (MINATO WARD)

SHIROGANE'S HOUSE (SETAGAYA WARD)

President, if you like...

Huh? That'd make it a driving date!

Going for a drive! That is definitely a kind of date.

Sitting shoulder to shoulder in an enclosed space,

listening to pleasant music on the radio

and chatting while cruising through town in the rain.

And at red lights...

I wish this light would never change to green.

...is the kind of thing they would think.

Strictly speaking, the presence of Kaguya's driver would mean the two weren't alone,

but basically, to her, it would be a prime example of a driving date.

Thus...

Ow! That hurts!

It's like I'm asking him out on a date!

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

What's wrong, Shinomiya?

Nothing.

It's nothing.

If the president brought it up, that's one thing,

but I can't afford to make the offer.

And yet,

abandoning him to his own devices when he has no way to get home would be...

That's it! There's no problem if he just says, "Give me a ride."

My taxi is almost here.

Oh, really?

What should I do?

Huh?

The president doesn't have a ride home?

L-Looks like it.

Then why don't we share the—

I just saw a flash of lightning.

I'll cover your ears tight so you don't hear the thunder.

Thank you.

I'll cover your eyes, too, while I'm at it.

Why?

Now, I'll escort you to your taxi like this.

Wait!

Miss Kaguya!

I'm scared! I'm scared!

But it's kind of fun!

What kind of game is that?

With the element of chaos out of the way, no one's left to interfere.

But how can I get him to say, "Give me a ride"?

Crap, I have to work today.

At this rate, I'll miss my shift.

Indeed.

Taking off work because of a typhoon

would disqualify one as a member of society.

Paying a taxi fare to get there even though it'd cost more than daily wages,

or someone giving them a ride...

To a member of society, the choice would be clear, you know?

That was effective.

I'm going to the restroom and will think along the way!

Go right ahead.

It's hard to imagine the president taking a taxi, cheapskate that he is.

So, naturally, he'll come groveling to me.

IT'D PROBABLY BE AROUND , YEN...

I have this victory in the bag.

, yen.

I make , an hour, so that's five hours of work.

But I'd hate to miss it.

TRAIN OPERATING TRAIN OPERATING TRAIN DELAYED TRAIN OPERATING

Huh? The trains are running again!

Why now, of all times?

Pour it on a little harder, typhoon!

This leaves me no choice.

THE SEVEN ANTI-SHIROGANE TOOLS TOOL ONE

RECHARGEABLE BATTERY IS DEAD

Number one of the Seven Anti-Shirogane Tools!

A dead battery!

Anticipating a variety of situations,

Kaguya has prepared a number of items to take down Shirogane.

This dead rechargeable battery is one of them!

I have about a minute before the president returns from the restroom. During that time,

I'll switch out his phone battery!

There isn't much time.

Level of difficulty is very hard.

But I have confidence in myself!

What's the matter, Shinomiya?

N-Nothing. I was just doing a little light exercise.

My battery's dead?

Hey, Shinomiya, can I borrow—

L-Looks like my ride's here, too, so I'd better get going!

R-Right.

See you tomorrow.

Now I just need to wait here.

Shinomiya, you're getting a ride home?

Please! Give me a ride!

Well, I can hardly refuse if you're reduced to begging me.

Poor President, I'll give you a lift home.

You're a goddess!

Um, Lady Kaguya, it's a cute scheme,

but if it works, how am I supposed to get home?

On foot.

Are you a demon?

If you don't take better care of me,

karma will take a bite out of your ass one day.

Oh, you and your karma...

See?

I was kidding.

I already called a taxi for you, Hayasaka.

Jeez!

Well,

I figured this would happen, too.

Then, you should've stopped me before.

I'll take off school today, too.

I'll go make you some porridge.

No, stay by my side, Hayasaka.

I wish you were always this adorable.

Apparently, Shinomiya has a cold.

This will continue in the Heart-pounding Visit chapter.

Very nice. I love how you can do so many things with it!

SHIROGANE GOT A NEW BATTERY FOR HIS (USED, NO WARRANTY) PHONE

Apparently, Shinomiya has a cold.

So, somebody's supposed to deliver handouts to her house.

CHIKA FUJIWARA WANTS TO PAY A VISIT

Me! I'll go!

Fujiwara?

I've visited her at home when she was sick once before,

and it's hilarious how much of a baby Miss Kaguya becomes when she has a cold!

GRIN

A baby?

President, dry my back.

She's so cute!

GLOW GLOW

It's the one time you can snatch her up in a bear hug and she won't get angry!

President, I need a hug.

It wouldn't be fair if one person got to monopolize her on her sickbed.

So let's all go together!

All?

Yes!

Wouldn't a crowd barging in on a sick person show lack of common sense?

I think one person would be plenty.

TERRIFIED

I don't wanna go because I'm scared.

Good point.

Then, who'll go?

Let's play Concentration to decide!

CONCENTRATION

Concentration!

Needless to say, a game that needs no introduction.

We won't use the jokers.

And if anyone's caught cheating, they get minus five points.

We'll see who's first with rock-paper-scissors.

All right, we'll start with the president!

Then, let's begin!

Hold your horses, Fujiwara!

Wh-Wh-What is it, President?

There are a number of points I'm not clear about.

First, the fact that you challenged us to a memory game.

I don't quite get that.

Normally, I'd think you'd choose a game you were actually good at.

And you breezed through this rule,

but minus five points for cheating?

Not instant disqualification?

That made me wary.

I may not have noticed if you'd kept your mouth shut,

but these designs kinda look like numbers.

This is a marked deck!

It really is!

Fujiwara-senpai, that's low! Underhanded!

And getting caught by the gambit you relied on!

That's the most embarrassing thing!

I'm embarrassed for you! I'm going home!

Shame, shame, shame, shame, shame, shame, shame, shame...

That's enough, Ishigami.

We accepted her rule about cheating which this surely would've fallen under.

We only touched the deck, so we're fine.

That's right! It's only cheating if you get caught! Nyah!

No, you certainly got caught.

Getting back on track...

In the first half of the game,

these flawed, but talented students remembered the position of each card.

As the game proceeded, they earned points, making no mistakes.

Shirogane, points. Fujiwara, points. Ishigami, points.

There were cards left.

Now I'm tied with you, Ishigami.

President, wipe my front, too.

You guys have really good memories.

I'm gonna raise the bar a bit!

What?

Mixing them up!

An extremely annoying strategy to destroy their memories of the cards' positions.

MIXING THE CARDS

Crap! I can't remember which is which!

After moving the cards around, Fujiwara smoothly won several points,

even making up for the penalty for cheating!

Let's enjoy the rest of the game, you guys!

Uh-oh. I'm in last place!

SHIROGANE: FUJIWARA: (- ) ISHIGAMI:

CARDS REMAINING:

At this rate, I won't be able to see Shinomiya acting like a baby!

President, pet my head.

What should I bring her?

She almost never gets sick, so this is a rare opportunity!

Well, I'm not surprised she got a cold after being drenched like that.

Shinomiya got drenched? She got a ride home, didn't she?

Beats me. I just know what I happened to see.

She was in front of the school gate waiting for someone, I suppose.

Maybe...

she was waiting for me?

There's no definite proof.

If it was me...

Then, never mind Shinomiya acting like a baby.

I'm an idiot for thinking about nothing but silly things!

I'm the one who needs to visit her at home!

Use your head for something other than fantasizing about nonsense!

.

! Damn it! The matching card appeared a minute ago!

Is she gonna get this one, too?

Nope.

Was it just a mistake?

No, wait.

I see.

It's your turn, President!

I got it!

SHIROGANE:

SHIROGANE:

I got it!

SHIROGANE:

SHIROGANE:

SHIROGANE:

I got it!

SHIROGANE:

SHIROGANE:

I win.

FINAL SCORE: ST PLACE - SHIROGANE: ND PLACE - FUJIWARA: (- ) RD PLACE - ISHIGAMI:

Shirogane took first place.

That was some comeback.

Well, if you know the trick, it's a cinch.

Trick?

The unusual thing about these cards is that the patterns aren't symmetrical,

so you can use them like this.

I see!

The hands on a clock!

That's right. By placing the cards at an angle,

you can reveal their face values from to .

So, Fujiwara wanted to place the cards far away

since they didn't figure into her plan.

Moving the cards around was also done to hide her trick.

Fujiwara-senpai...

That's low!

Underhanded! Playing dirty! You haven't learned your lesson at all!

You're shameless! How did you get to be so shameless?

The most shameful thing is how he won by finding your method and using it himself!

For shame! Again, shame on you, Fujiwara-senpai!

Don't look at me!

A-After all... After all...

I just wanted to visit her at home!

I wanna die, so I'm going home.

Is that right?

But please don't die on us!

Even though it worked on my sisters...

Can you believe her brass?

This just goes to show how shallow analog gamers are!

It's like she dug herself into a hole!

This happens when you do something that doesn't suit you.

Shinomiya wouldn't have gotten tripped up like that.

Shinomiya would have...

Crap! Now I'm nervous!

What should I bring her?

I wanna eat canned peaches, Hayasaka.

Yes, yes.

The Heart-pounding Visit continues to Part Two.

WHAT DO YOU GIVE A RICH PERSON?

RESULTS OF TODAY'S MATCH:

FAILURE

SINCE NEITHER OF THEM HAD A STRATEGY

This is the famous Shinomiya Villa!

I saw it online before, but up close, it's amazing!

Maybe I should've done more than bring drinks and jello.

I have been appointed to the role of Lady Kaguya's caretaker.

My name is Smithee A. Herthaka.

Pleased to make your acquaintance.

COLOR CONTACTS

STUFFED A BIT

A maid!

I assume you have come to visit Lady Kaguya.

ABOUT KAGUYA SHINOMIYA, PART

Yes, exactly!

Then, I'll show you to her room.

Um, actually...

I'm only here to deliver handouts to Shinomiya!

I was thinking you could give it to her, Miss Herthaka!

Don't chicken out after coming this far.

Right this way.

Yes, but...

Honestly, I think it would be best if you gave it to Lady Kaguya directly.

But...

Lady Kaguya...

you have a visitor.

Hey! What are you doing, Lady Kaguya?

Messy!

But I can't find them.

What are you looking for?

Fireworks.

Fireworks?

You'll do them with me, won't you, Hayasaka?

I certainly will not.

Summer is around the corner. I can understand why you'd jump the g*n.

Your priority is to recover from this cold.

Meanie! I wanna do fireworks!

That aside, you have a visitor.

A visitor?

President!

What are you doing here, President?

Well, um...

Are you living here from now on? I didn't hear about that!

No! I'm not moving in!

Miss Herthaka, what's wrong with her?

According to Sigmund Freud,

human actions are determined by one's desire, the id,

ID (DESIRE)

and one's reason, the ego.

EGO (REASON)

I WANT TO SLEEP

Human instincts produce the desires of the id

I WANT TO PUNCH

while it's the duty of the ego to act as a brake that suppresses those desires.

I WANT TO EAT

I WANT TO PLAY

However, if the ability to think,

which is the source of the ego, is lost for some reason,

the person becomes a beast that acts according to the id.

In other words, the person becomes a simpleton.

A simpleton?

And for people whose brains are normally in full gear,

the effect is markedly pronounced.

At a glance, it looks like she's awake,

but she's actually in the middle of a fever dream.

Once she's on her feet,

she'll have no memory at all of the time she was sick.

It's as if she were drunk.

This is getting strange again.

Well, I need to get back to work,

so please keep Lady Kaguya company.

Understood.

Listen, I can assure you no one will enter this room during the next three hours,

but you mustn't do anything inappropriate.

I-I won't.

On top of that, this room is soundproofed,

and Lady Kaguya will have no recollection of your visit.

So no matter what you do, no one will be the wiser,

but absolutely...

do not do anything inappropriate.

I said I wouldn't!

Shinomiya, I bought you a variety of drinks.

Want one?

Fireworks?

No, they're not fireworks.

It's useless.

Shinomiya isn't even in a state to have a conversation.

If I'm honest with myself, my filthy mind was hoping I could help her drink it,

but she's much weaker than I anticipated.

If I take advantage of this,

I might be able to get Shinomiya's true feelings and weaknesses out of her.

However...

Shinomiya, is it my fault you caught this cold?

You intended to give me a ride yesterday, didn't you?

And you were waiting at the school gate, which is when...

I don't know.

I kinda feel like that's right, and I kinda feel like that's wrong.

Well, which is it?

President, are you mad?

I'm sorry.

No, you didn't say anything to make me mad.

No.

I'm always doing things that make trouble for you.

I never know what to do.

For so many things,

it's the first time for me, so I don't know.

IF YOU ARE A SHINOMIYA, DO NOT RELY ON ANYONE. INSTEAD, USE THEM. DO NOT RECEIVE ANYTHING. INSTEAD, STEAL. DO NOT LOVE ANYONE. THERE IS NO INSTEAD.

So,

all I can do is behave the way I know how.

I don't know any other ways.

This is the only way I can do it.

So, for today...

let's sleep together.

No, Shinomiya!

Are you shy?

How cute.

Wait a second!

Shinomiya will forget this, too, and no one will come into the room?

This situation is just too convenient!

And I'm not confident that I can control myself!

What the hell...

has happened to me?

ID AND EGO

SLEEP DEPRIVED

What time is it?

Feels like I've just come out of hibernation.

President?

What were you doing in my bed?

I-I just came over to visit you!

What kinda man takes the opportunity to crawl into bed? Unbelievable!

You invited me!

In your dreams! How could you do it when I was sleeping!

You're scum! Get out of here right now!

Oh, dear. I thought something like this might happen.

But it looks like you're well rested anyway.

H-Hayasaka,

how far did I go with the president?

I couldn't say.

Even after...

Even after I totally held back! I held back for all I was worth!

The Heart-pounding Visit: The End.

Well, I guess nothing happened.