01x11 - Ai Hayasaka Wants to Get Soaked/Chika Fujiwara Really Wants to Eat It/Miyuki Shirogane Wants to See You

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Kaguya-sama: Love is w*r". Aired: June 14, 2018 – June 25, 2020.*
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Student council president Miyuki and VP Kaguya appear to be the perfect couple, but both are too proud to confess their love and scheme to make the other confess their love first.
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01x11 - Ai Hayasaka Wants to Get Soaked/Chika Fujiwara Really Wants to Eat It/Miyuki Shirogane Wants to See You

Post by bunniefuu »

- Gotcha! - Gotcha!

Summer. It's the season of love.

Stop it!

Is burning a young lady's bare body the sun's mischief?

Is the quivering of asphalt a heat haze mirage?

A boy and girl bare their hearts to each other

and are invited to take the next step in a male-female relationship.

The curtain comes up on a summer vacation like that.

Half a month has passed!

During that time, nothing in particular has happened.

AUGUST

I screwed up.

I totally screwed up.

SHOPPING FIREWORKS FESTIVAL

Was that a sigh?

If you sigh like that, happiness will flee in all directions.

AI HAYASAKA WANTS TO GET SOAKED

President Shirogane says he's at home right now,

so if you loiter around outside, you may see him.

Don't talk silly, Hayasaka.

As if I would engage in stalker-like—

He says he's at home?

Hayasaka, since when have you been in contact with the president?

Oh, I'm not.

He was grumbling about it on Twitter.

Twitter?

What's that? No, I've heard of it!

Twitter...

I think Miss Fujiwara does it.

DICTIONARY

Twitter... Twitter...

Well, I'm going to take a bath.

RESERVED

Again?

FEMALE EMPLOYEES' BATHROOM

She gets to do that?

There.

SPLASH

FSSS

Hayasaka! Come quick!

Wh-What is it?

The Internet is broken!

It must be the major incident of the century.

So, I tried to start doing that thing, you know, Twitter...

USER NAME EMAIL ADDRESS I AGREE TO THE TERMS OF SERVICE.

but the letters are garbled!

The letters are not garbled.

Password. Can I use my bank password?

No.

Hopeless at I.T.

HOPELESS AT I.T.

When it comes to technology, Kaguya prefers to be analog.

She can do mental arithmetic, but cant use a calculator.

When she looks into something, she'll use a map or encyclopedia instead of googling.

ENCYCLOPEDIA

She does use the Internet once in a while to check the weather or news headlines,

but never leaves the confines of the search engine site's top page.

She's about as tech-savvy as the old man who runs the candy shop.

YAMADA STORE

Like this?

Yes. Now you have an account, Lady Kaguya.

MIYUKI SHIROGANE CHIKA FUJIWARA YU ISHIGAMI

I printed out the accounts of the other student council members.

For example, this is the secretary's account.

I WENT TO DUBAI

I WENT TO CALIFORNIA

She clearly spends a great deal of time tweeting and no time at all studying.

I WENT TO BALI

I WENT TO HAWAII

All she does is travel abroad.

And this anime icon is the treasur—

Not interested.

The best thing to do is play around with it until you're used to it.

Okay.

Well, I'm going back to my bath.

This job is exhausting.

The only way I can take it is by washing my fatigue away like this.

Lady Kaguya doesn't understand.

She should appreciate me more.

Hayasaka! Come quick!

Jeez.

Lady Kaguya, would you stop barging in on—

I've been banned from Twitter!

I'm surprised you even know about being banned.

THIS ACCOUNT'S TWEETS ARE PROTECTED.

L-Look!

I can't see it! Why? Did I do something wrong?

President Shirogane has a protected account.

Protected?

It's because some trolls will flame you no matter what you post.

This goes to show that the president is on his toes about privacy.

My main account is protected, too.

You'd better be very careful, too, Lady Kaguya.

In other words,

think of your account as your house.

With normal accounts, the front door is wide open,

so visitors can come and go as they please.

But cautious people keep their front door locked,

and only visitors who are given a key can come in.

Then, where do you get a key?

That's simple.

FOLLOW

LIKES

If you click this "Follow" button,

a request for approval will be sent to President Shirogane.

If he agrees, you'll then be able to see his tweets.

I imagine he'd okay any request, as long as their profile shows they go to Shuchiin.

But... But I... But I...

There's no way I can do that!

After all, it would mean...

President! Please open up!

I want to know more about you!

REQUESTING APPROVAL FOR A FOLLOW

I want to know what you think about and what you usually do!

BAM BAM

You want to know about me that badly?

You're that interested in my -character monologues?

That's cute.

APPROVED

Like that, right?

Is this a new kind of stupidity?

You really think of the most useless things.

Are you mad at me, Hayasaka?

Mad? More like I'm wondering...

how long you're going to make me stand around half-naked.

Sorry.

If you won't do it, Lady Kaguya, I—

Wait! Wait!

Hold on!

I'll do it when I'm good and ready!

FOLLOW

LIKES

I wonder what the president tweets about.

What is he doing? What does he like?

How is he spending his summer?

But...

But...

That's it! I'll protect my account, too!

- Then, if the president follows me— - Wake up and smell the coffee.

You've never succeeded with that pattern before. Not even once.

In the end, she wasn't able to send the request.

Lady Kaguya is stubborn to a fault.

They both are hopeless.

If either were open about their feelings, they could both be happy.

But I envy them.

I wish I loved someone like that.

As if...

Hayasaka! Come quick!

Results of today's match...

None.

KAGUYA AND SHIROGANE DIDN'T MEET UP

Please! Enough already!

CLICK CLICK

HER TYPING IS VERY FAST

CHIKA FUJIWARA REALLY WANTS TO EAT IT

Japan!

I loved Egypt.

I wish we could've stayed there a little longer.

The ta'amiya and kushari were delicious!

You're just thinking about food!

Maybe you wanted to stay longer, Sis,

but I couldn't wait to get back to Japan!

Why?

After all...

My name is Saburo Odajima.

I'm an insignificant middle manager.

RAMEN

HAKATA TENRYU

My hobby is frequenting ramen shops.

TENRYU RAMEN

Welcome.

I came to a neighborhood shop today.

The most popular item on the menu is pork bone broth ramen...

but that's not for me.

I get the inconspicuous one all the way at the end.

Soy sauce pork bone. Thin.

How about the noodles?

Firm.

That is this shop's optimum combination.

The way I ordered shows I'm in the know.

Welcome.

It smells wonderful!

GLOW

Well, well, a cute customer...

Maybe she wandered in thinking this was a cake shop.

What can I get you?

Um,

soy sauce pork bone ramen, thin broth!

Impossible!

Did a girl like this suddenly calculate this shop's optimum combination?

OPTIMUM COMBINATION

Is it a coincidence? No.

This isn't the kind of shop a young woman would enter alone this late at night.

RAMEN

Could this woman be one of "my people"?

MY PEOPLE

What about the noodles?

Um,

super-firm!

FSSS

Super-firm?

Like a sheep, she chose the fad level of firmness.

She's just an average girl after all. I worried for nothing.

I overestimated her.

Here you go.

All right, then. I'll teach this girl the real way to eat ramen.

First, you note the scent of the soup itself.

The idea is to appreciate each scent in turn

starting from the fragrant red pickled ginger.

Of course, the owner is fully aware of that.

I'm delighted at his consideration, placing the ginger farthest away.

Next, the taste.

Letting the air mix in while you taste it.

I use my brain completely, sharpening my senses of smell and taste.

And then, the noodles.

I bite off a small amount, as if making sure of the flavor,

and enjoy it as it slides down.

Here you go.

Thank you for the meal!

Finally, the chaser.

In order to enjoy the delicate flavors,

I drink water to wash away the soy and salt on my tongue, resetting my palate.

This makes all the difference.

This is one set.

Repeating the set over and over is what we call the "water cycle."

Now, what about you, young lady?

Mini-ramen?

Little bits. Little bits. Little bits.

She really is just an ordinary girl.

GOBBLE...

Looks like she's enjoying it.

Well, I can't really look down on her.

Mini-ramen, where you eat it all in each bite,

is the ultimate form of the "one is all" philosophy after all.

Little bits. Little bits. Little bits. Little bits! Little bits. Little bits!

But by taking little bites like that, the noodles will stretch out and swell up.

Swell up?

Super-firm! Super-firm! Super-firm!

Is that why she said, "Super-firm"?

Did this girl calculate that the noodles would stretch out?

Slurp, slurp, slurp!

Moreover, using that small utensil is perfect for mini-ramen!

It can't be!

If this was all calculated...

The metro's four ramen kings...

Jinbocho's Mashimashi Mama,

the Hermit of Sugamo,

even J. Suzuki of Koenji...

THE METRO AREA'S BIG FOUR RAMEN KINGS

JINBOCHO'S MASHIMASHI MAMA

J. SUZUKI OF KOENJI HERMIT OF SUGAMO

So, she possesses the sense of situational assessment

equivalent to the monsters of the ramen world!

SAN OF SHIBUYA

Not yet.

That's right. She's not there yet.

It's kind of sad.

It's the wall that can't be overcome, and it's owing to being a woman.

- Garlic! - Garlic!

Unfortunately, avoiding that scent pegs her as a wannabe ramen connoisseur.

She's a fake!

Looks like she finished eating the ingredients.

What is she gonna do now?

There's no more to spoon out!

What's she gonna do?

Is she gonna go for it?

She's gonna go for it?

CRUNCH

She went for it!

She overcame the wall of womanhood!

I have to give her props! She's earned my respect!

She's definitely "my people"!

A ramen connoisseur!

Don't tell me!

Even the soup?

Too much salt!

You're drinking garlic, too!

But...

It looks delicious!

...there was a time in my life, too!

Thank you for the meal!

When did I become such an old man?

GULP GULP

That's it! Run!

That youth is the radiance I lost!

I'm young and starving!

Keep running!

AHHH

POLISHED IT OFF

Thank you!

Boom!

You...

COOL

Result of today's ramen match...

RESULT OF TODAY'S RAMEN MATCH:

Fujiwara wins.

FUJIWARA WINS

WHERE IS YOUR SWITCH?

My ramen switch is on!

MIYUKI SHIROGANE WANTS TO SEE YOU

Since summer vacation began,

three weeks have passed.

Nothing of note has happened during that time.

Days of studying, working, eating, taking a bath, sleeping, and that's all.

This has become a boring summer vacation.

The festival at the end of vacation is the only plan

he and Kaguya made to see each other.

Other than that, they haven't exchanged a single text,

let alone go out together.

The high hurdle of asking the other person to go out and do something fun

is still insurmountable.

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

I wonder what Shinomiya's doing now.

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

Why has it come to this?

The reason, Lady Kaguya...

is that, all your plans are based on the premise that the president is going to invite you.

SUMMER VACATION PLANS FOR KAGUYA

You've been too naive.

Hayasaka, why are you looking at your lady's notebook

so brazenly and without permission?

Why don't you just ask him to do something?

Don't be ridiculous!

It'd look like I wanted to do something for fun with the president!

That's exactly right. I mean, you're not even refuting me.

TO: KAGUYA SHINOMIYA

Shi-no-mi-ya...

What-are-you-doing...

DELETE THIS MAIL?

SAVE

DELETE

Am I some blushing girl?

WHAP

Write, delete, write, delete!

What is this, your first love?

It is his first love.

AUGUST

That's it! I'm done! I'm through!

SUBJECT: OCTOPUS LOOK! A LIVE OCTOPUS!!

FROM: SHIROGANE I WAS TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING AS YOU HUNG UP THE PHONE

LOOKS LIKE TONIGHT WILL GET PRETTY COLD, SO BE WARM AND GO TO SLEEP GOOD NIGHT

No matter how much you read that, it won't make new messages appear.

Did that message make you so happy that you've saved it all this time?

The president's first text to you.

You were thrilled when he made the first move there, weren't you?

You can't forget it, huh?

Get off my back!

I don't think that at all,

so stop trying to analyze my heart!

I'm going out.

Where are you going, Bro?

Grocery shopping for dinner.

In your school uniform?

Well, I may stop at school on the way.

The school isn't on the way.

What I'm doing now doesn't make any sense.

But I thought, "What if," and...

Nice and cool.

I want to see him...

STUDENT COUNCIL ROOM

Well, of course not...

- I wish summer vacation weren't so long. - I wish summer vacation weren't so long.

RESULTS OF TODAY'S MATCH: NONE

BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T MEET UP

I don't have any summer memories.

Look! Look!

But that's not a problem.

I've never gone on a family vacation.

But that's okay...

because everyone treats me like I'm special.

I've never gone to see a fireworks display.

But that's all right...

because even the little lights I see from out my window are pretty.

FROM: MISS FUJIWARA

LET'S MEET UP IN FRONT OF THE MOAI STATUE TOMORROW! I CAN'T WAIT!!

I've never gone shopping with a group of friends.

Yeah. Like this one?

So, I felt a mix of anxiety and anticipation.

But it would be okay.

The people I was going with were good people.

They were all very nice.

But it's okay.

I'm used to it.

I can't do what I want in this life.

FROM: KAGUYA SUBJECT: TOMORROW - I'M SORRY. I CAN'T GO SHOPPING TOMORROW.

"My father suddenly summoned me to the main house in Kyoto, so I have to go.

Don't worry about me. All of you should go on and have fun, okay?"

That's what she says.

What should we do?

In this case...

we put it off!

The whole point is for all of us to go together.

Good! You're right!

I'll call Kei and let her know.

That's right.

I'm blessed.

I've got friends and a distinguished family that anyone would envy.

I'm blessed with a resourcefulness that anyone would be jealous of.

Anyone would conclude that the amount of my happiness and sorrow are about the same.

So, blessed as I am, it's only logical that I should suck it up.

F-Father!

Oh, you're here?

Good.

He summoned you all the way here for that?

Drop dead, assh*le.

My father has never said "good night" to me.

I don't remember him ever saying "See you later,"

"Good job" or "I love you" to me either.

But it doesn't hurt my feelings.

Because it's always been this way.

By this point, nothing he does makes me feel one way or the other.

It's okay.

In deference to my family's status,

people around here behave a certain way toward me...

with great caution...

as if there's no problem...

like I'm a creepy traditional Japanese doll.

But I don't mind.

After all, I'm going to a fireworks festival tomorrow.

I CAN'T HEAR THE FIREWORKS, PART
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