04x02 - Gertrude the Great

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COUGHING

Millie, thank goodness you're...
Miss Cackle?

I, Ethel Hallow, hereby submit

my application to be head girl at
Cackle's Academy.

Too late! It's too late!

She didn't do it long enough.

Then who is that?

SHRIEKING

ORGAN MUSIC

THEY SING

THEY CONTINUE SINGING

Gertrude The Great. The first
head girl of Cackle's Academy.

Each year we bestow our
highest honour on the girl

who embodies
Gertrude's favourite qualities.

Talent, charisma...
CREAKING AND THUDDING

..resourcefulness, ingenuity.

CREAKING AND THUDDING
The most all-round impressive...

What is that?

MILDRED COUGHS

LAUGHTER

Sorry, Miss Cackle.

I thought I would take a
short cut to the hall, but...

..I must have gone wrong somewhere.

Oh!

LAUGHTER

New look. Same old Mildred Hubble.

Just as frightful as ever.

As I was saying, the most
all-round impressive witch.

Our two candidates will face many
challenges - each wear one badge.

Whoever wins most badges,
becomes next year's head girl.

But be warned, girls,

these will be the most
demanding tasks you have faced.

They will test your magic
powers to the very limit.

Beginning with a signature
spell of Gertrude The Great.

Hidden deep where none shall hide...

..I call upon the beast...inside.

BIRD SQUAWKS

The Familiar Auxiliar.

An alternate form once commonly
used by witches.

Alas, almost no witch today
remembers the secret ingredient

that reveals this innate
part of her personality.

Our two candidates will perform the
spell at a ceremony this afternoon.

Whichever I judge to have mastered
it most successfully,

wins the badge.

Good luck, girls.

ORGAN PLAYS

You do realise I have had years
of private tuition in spell

formulation. Well, Millie has got
something you haven't - us.

I have Felicity. Says who?

You tricked me out of running
for head girl, Ethel.

I did you a favour. If you had run,
you would have lost to me.

This way you get to be my deputy.
Deputy? It's a now or never offer.

See you at lunchtime for practice.

You're getting soot everywhere!

Are you still on cauldron
cleaning duties? So unfair.

Anyone could accidentally
send a first year into orbit.

Ethel's disowned me.

Can't have a head girl campaign

brought down by a
sister without a coven.

What are we really
missing out on though?

Apart from a few boring meetings.

Hey, Mabel. Great excuse from
lessons today to rehearse.

You'll be there of course.
Rehearse what?

The coven I've been asked to dance
the Witch Trot at a day ceremony.

The Witch Trot? Seriously?

I know, it's a tribute to me.
I mean, us.

That we are the ones to do it.
I've always wanted to do the trot.

I've been studying the moves
for years. Sorry, did someone speak?

You've made your point. Can you not
let us back into the coven now?

You're not really going to
exclude them from the Witch Trot?

That would be too mean.
Who are you talking about, Mabel?

Oh, the three ex-members.

Sorry, they are invisible to me now.

Another wonderful day chanting
stresses endlessly before us.

Books open, girls.

We are invisible, are we?

Fine, if that's
the way she wants it.

Page .

Reanimation Potion.

Two of your number may be
exempt from lessons today,

but for the rest of you
it is business as usual.

We need to work methodically
through those shelves

until we find the secret ingredient.

Or we could just read that,
page three spell book.

I'm on it.

ALARM WAILS

Indigo Moon.

ALARM STOPS

You alarm yourspell books?

See me after class.

I have a special duty for you.

Now, pay attention. All of you.

As you can see, the reanimation
potion is most useful.

Particularly if you have

Miss Cackle's touch
with house plants.

She's going to tell us the secret
ingredient. Oh, no, Enid.

Using HB's reanimation potion.

She said it works with
people as well as plants.

All you need is something
the person owned.

Seems like this portrait
was her favourite.

What ridiculous costume
art thou clad.

Witches from ye Foul Academy
of Wormwood, must you be.

Well, no, actually...

Witches three of sackcloth grey,
in my bottle you will stay.

GLASS CLINKS

Excellent plan, Enid.

What exactly are you doing?
Invisibility potion.

So we can line-up with Finella
and the others unnoticed?

Wait, you want to do the
Witch Trot? Invisibly?

No, since you don't trot, you'll be
up here with a reversal potion.

All you have to do is pull off the
stopper one minute past four

when the trot is due to begin.

Crafty plan. Let's do it.

Roses are white, nettles are green.
Magic, let us not be seen.

What evil witchcraft hast thou
inflicted upon the Academy?

The windows be filled with glass,
the roasted rat sellers banished.

And where is all the horse dung?
GLASS CLINKS

Things have changed a little.
Let us out.

It's a bit later than you think.

A few hundred years later.

Let us out, let us out! Let us out!

I'm Mildred. Mildred the Mysterious?
Mildred the Magical?

Just Mildred Hubble.

Um, I have to figure out how to
do the Familiar Auxiliar spell

for the head girl challenge.

And I'm really struggling.

Thou cheateth. Only because the
other contestant is so awful.

Mildred deserveth the bestest
to wineth.

I have no idea what you just said.
She just has to b*at Ethel Hallow.

A Hallow? Mildred the Hubble does
battle with a Hallow?

You had Hallows in your time, too?

They alone among all witching
families believe that magic

should be used for power and gain.

They are also means sneaky, rude...

And this one is the
worst of the lot.

Mildred the Hubble, I will teach
thee my spell and together

we will crush this Hallow underfoot
like the wretched louse that she is.

Can we do it without the crushing?

These need cleaning up so they can
go on display.

None more so than this.

Gertrude's portrait from the
great hall.

You can't even see half of it.

Can't it just be done magically?

But what would be character building
about that?

Hidden deep when none shall hide,
I call upon the beast inside.

This isn't working.

You must believe in your true
nature.

As I always believed that
I was a beautiful golden eagle.

Did I say the spell wrong?

Problem is not your recitation,
Mildred the Hubble,

you are still missing
the secret ingredient.

But she mixed the potion
as you said.

We must speak with boldness.

Thou must believe, like me,

that thou art great at all things
magical.

Confidence. The secret
ingredient is confidence.

But I'm trying, it is just that...
Don't panic.

My mum always practises breathing
exercises before a show to

calm her nerves. Confidence is not

learnt by breathing,
Mildred the Hubble.

You must leave. She needs to focus.

We do this my way. The old way.

I have been trying all lunchtime.
Get out of the way.

Hidden deep where none shall hide,
et cetera et cetera...

SHE COUGHS

It's one ingredient!
It's only one ingredient.

Mildred Hubble is ahead.
I know she is.

To master the spell you must become
truly bold. To become truly bold,

you must face your greatest fear.

Name it. Well, I
don't like the dark.

But it's not so much the dark,
it's more the spiders. Excellent.

Anything else? My teacher, HB.

Right now my biggest fear
is failing at the task.

You will never complete the task...
Argh! ..Mildred Hubble.

Fight it. Fight the fear.

You will be a laughing stock
and you will have to leave Cackle's.

And as your mother is working,

you will have to spend
the entire summer with me.

It is but an eight-legged
headmistress.

SPIDER HISSES
Argh!

And must wear your hair in the
same style as my own.

SPIDER HISSES
Argh!

Come on, girls, work it. It's going
to be live on ZapChat, remember.

Let's go in.

This is so cool.

I haven't been invisible for ages.

And the best bit is, we don't have
to waste our energy rehearsing.

Hide that drink! Sorry.

Good, Mildred the Hubble.

You have faced your fear like any
great witch should. Now, the spell.

Hidden deep, when and shall hide...

MILDRED COUGHS AND SPLUTTERS

Verily there is more to be done.
More?

Mildred?

Ah, the kitten room.

It's exactly as I remember it.

KITTENS MEOW

I did not become a beautiful
golden eagle without effort.

You must learn that all fears can
be defeated.

The kitten room isn't scary.

MOUSE SQUEAKS

How about now?
KITTENS MEOW

KITTENS HISS AND MEOW

Be bold, Mildred the Hubble.
What are you doing?

More, did you make Mildred
fall out of the window?

Noble Maud, Faithful Enid, our
lessons continue.

What is she going to learn
from becoming cat lunch?

KITTENS MEOW HYSTERICALLY

LATCH CLICKS

Do you feel bold now,
Mildred the Hubble?

I survived the kitten room.
As a mouse!

You speak with true courage.

I've got the secret ingredient.
You are ready for the challenge.

I'm ready for the challenge! Woo!

MUFFLED THUD

Hello?

DISTANCE SQUEAKING

SQUEAKING, KNOCKING

Is someone there?

THUDDING

CLANKING

THUDDING

LOUD KNOCKING

THEY SHRIEK

Well, girls, I'm sure you are all
looking forward to this.

Mabel, are you in position?

In position.

seconds and counting.

I can't believe we are
about to be part of this.

Our candidates are getting
ready for the challenge.

But first, as has been our
tradition for hundreds of years,

we launch the head girl contest
with the Witch Trot!

Come on, it's time.

Careful. You're on my toe!
Your elbow is in my face.

We will be visible any second.

UPBEAT MUSIC

Oh, I was looking for Beatrice
Bunch, but you'll do. But...

Come on, kitchen, now! But, Mum,
can I... I am so late with

refreshments for the ceremony,
you wouldn't believe.

Come on!

Mabel!

Watch it, twinkle toes.
I can't see you. Ow!

Just keep dancing.

Ow! Sorry!

That's my toe. Ow! What are you
doing? Get out of the way.

That way, stop. Ow! Stop.
Be careful.

Cut! Cut!

Oh!

You will be cleaning dishes...

Roses white and nettles green,
magic, let me not be seen.

Do you hear me, Mabel Tapioca?

CHUCKLING

Uh, girls...

You made us a laughing stock!

It's time for the challenge.
We need to go.

Wait, I noticed something weird
on the picture.

Look. There's another word here.

Gertrude The Great...Deceiver.

I just wanted to say thanks for all
you've done, Gertrude.

I think I could actually win this.

I mean, I KNOW I can win this.

The first badge is almost yours.

We must simply practice the spell
one more time and then we can...

How is it my fault that you
weren't able to transform?

Transform fewer than times.
I know, is disappointing, isn't it?

Oh, Mildred Hubble.
I didn't see you there.

Who's that?

It can't be. It can't possibly be.

Thank you, Mildred Hubble. You've
just got yourself disqualified.

Two minutes, candidates.
I warn you, O Hallow, do this not.

Miss Hardbroom, I'm sorry to say
this...

..I have some shocking news about
Mild-mum-ti-mum.

Is there a problem?

No. What I'm trying to say is,

well, Mild-di-di-do, di-di-dum,
did-di-do.

The pressure is getting to you
already, I see.

Is there someone else here?
Mum-ti-mum.

No matter. One minute.

But she's had expert help.
It's cheating.

Only one can win. Ethel the Hallow,

the one with the secret ingredient.

One final practice?

A snake? I thought she said
she was a beautiful golden eagle.

What's that she's
putting in the pot?

Berries. Juniper berries. That's
not on the list she gave Mil.

Because that's the secret
ingredient.

Not confidence, just berries.

One million views and rising.

You are never ever getting
back into my coven.

Moving onto the main event.

The Familiar Auxiliar challenge.

First, Ethel hallow, please.

CLAPPING

Hidden deep where none shall hide,

I call upon the beast inside.

Hidden deep where none shall
hide... Wait, I shall demonstrate.

I've got this, but if you really
want to.

Hidden deep where none shall hide...
Hang on, what are those with.

Millie, she's got it in for you.
What?

She lied about the ingredient.
Gertrude?

Take part in the contest,
you will not, Mildred the Hubble.

My name is Mildred Hubble.

IN DEEP VOICE: And my name is
Gertrude Hallow.

I call upon the beast inside!

Oh, look, an eagle.

Very, very good, Ethel.

And now, Mildred Hubble.

Mildred Hubble.

Uh, Miss Hardbroom, do you mind?

Better late than never, Mildred.

Out, everybody, out!

SNAKE HISSES

It is too...strong.

He wants you. Stay back, Millie.

SHRIEKING

Mildred, no!

I survived Miss Hardbroom's spider,
do you think I'm scared of you?

Hidden deep where none shall hide,
I call upon the beast inside.

It can't be.

Impressive, Mildred Hubble.

But not that I could say

the same for you, Ethel Hallow.

I was just checking for,
uh, frightened first years.

However, there is only one which fit
to be called head girl here.

Which is why I intend to remain.

And any who object, will
be...dropped into banishment

never to be seen again.

It will be amusing to rule
the school once more. After I've...

SHE SCREAMS

That is how you do invisibility.

Mabel Tapioca! Come...

Mildred, an excellent auxiliar.

Shame you had to cheat
to achieve it.

Yours, Ethel.

Yes.

And Mildred... I know, MISS cackle.
Your office.

I am disappointed in you, Mildred.

Re-animating Gertrude
was extremely dangerous.

I thought she was meant to be great,
Miss Cackle.

Sadly not. The Hallows are a
powerful family.

Records can be altered.

Pictures can be hidden away.

Regardless, this was not the
behaviour I expect

of a head girl candidate.

I am so sorry, Miss Cackle.

I just needed help with my spell.

What a pity you didn't trust
in your own abilities more.

You have an eagle within you.

You should listen to its voice.

I will, Miss Cackle.

I'm disqualified from the contest,
aren't I, Miss Cackle?

Oh, Mildred.

Do you think I would
let you off so easily?

We are just getting started.

Indi was turned into
a statue for years.

I think nature is
restoring her to her actual age.

What? Permanently.

Someone was looking for me.

Fight it, Indigo. Fight! Indi!

I've missed out on half of my life.
No way!