02x06 - ... betrayed a friend

[bunniefuu]

Devi, I think you know why we're here.

Because of that terrible

rumor about Aneesa that you

Oh sh*t! Here it comes!

Devi's about to get it.

no doubt have heard about.

Now, Aneesa says you

and her are friends,

and she could use a

little support right now.

Wait, so I'm here because

of how good of a friend I am?

Yeah, that makes total sense.

Aneesa, we want you to stay

here at Sherman Oaks High,

so, Devi, can you help her feel

like the people have her back?

Of course, I just wish we could find

the jerkwad who started the rumor.

It's okay. I'll just lay low and wait

until somebody finds a

pregnancy test in the toilet

and everybody forgets about me.

You know what? No!

- Devi's right!

- I am?

This might be the moment that I can be

the principal I've dreamed I could be.

I'm gonna call everybody

that was at that relay

until I get somebody talking.

Devi knew that all roads

in the investigation

would lead back to her.

So right now, she needed to throw

down some metaphorical tire spikes.

You know what? A student

should lead the investigation.

Teens don't wanna narc to a boomer.

I take offense to that.

I am firmly in Gen X.

Hmm.

But I do see your point,

and I do have a very busy day,

especially trying to figure out

why the water fountains

smell like human excrement.

Okay.

Job's yours.

Now all Devi had to do

was sabotage the search,

and she'd be off the hook quicker

than you can say "witness tampering."

Devi told herself that Aneesa

didn't need to know the truth.

It would only hurt her.

And right now, she needed a friend,

which is what Devi planned to be

once she pinned this

rumor on someone else.

So, should we start the investigation?

Uh, one sec. I'm just texting with Ben.

But also, let's not forget this chick

hooked up with Devi's ex

the first chance she got.

Nope, Devi, you never told

Aneesa that Ben was your ex.

So it's not her fault.

Sisterhood, Traveling

Pants, et cetera, et cetera.

Okay, all done.

He's been really

supportive through all this.

I'm sure he has.

The person who started the

rumor must've known it was true.

So they had to be from your old school.

Who do we know transferred from there?

- Just me.

- Is there anyone else you can think of

that has a connection

there? Anyone at all?

Mm Oh, I know a girl who has

a cousin on the football team here.

Look at you coming up with fresh

leads. To the boys' locker room!

Okay.

So, Darius,

did you start the rumor

about Aneesa being anorexic?

Who's Aneesa?

Uh, I am.

You're anorexic? Sorry to hear that.

Save your little performance,

Darius. I know that you did it.

No offense, but why

would I start a rumor

about some random-ass sophomore?

And for the record, I

may be a football player,

but I'm also a feminist,

and I would never start

a rumor that misogynistic.

Okay, cool POV, Darius.

Yo, let's get out of here.

So maybe he's not our guy.

What up, playas? Listen up.

Your boy crushed the

first draft of our paper,

and I'm sending it to

all my co-authors tonight

to get your final approvesies,

and once everybody signs off,

this little baby is gonna be published

in the Journal of Cellular Biology!

Ho, ho, ho!

You're gonna be in the journal,

and you're gonna be in the journal!

- Yeah!

- Kamala, can I chat with you for a second?

Look, I just want to say you've

been a huge asset to the lab,

and sorry if I was tough

on you in the beginning.

It's okay. I've seen American

teen movies. I understand hazing.

Anyway, I think you've earned a

little face time with Dr. Peters.

Only if you want.

Um, does a peroxisome

obtain membrane constituents

from the endoplasmic reticulum?

Hmm, let me think. You

know, it does! Get it!

Nice! How about breakfast tomorrow?

Most important meal of the day! Perfect.

Perfect. All right. Now, who

wants to pop some bottles 'cause

- Let's see.

- Yo, Eve!

You should've came to q*eer ladies'

night at The Library. It was lit.

Wait, the school library

has a q*eer ladies' night?

No, no, babe. The Library

is a bar in Silver Lake.

You went to a bar? Like

an alcohol bar for adults?

Yes. Fabiola, don't look so shocked.

But isn't that like illegal?

You know what else used to

be illegal? Being a lesbian.

And some laws are worth breaking

to support the community, you know?

Yeah, we can't all just spend every

night hanging out with our robots.

Sasha, come on! That was mean!

I was joking. She knows I was joking.

Yeah, of course!

It was so funny. It was good.

Um, but, uh, I

gotta run, so I will see you later.

Later!

Trust me. Just think

of the possible people.

Hi, so what are you guys up to?

Devi's helping me track down the

D-bag who started the rumor about me.

Ooh! True crime? Count me in.

I think I've got it

under control. I don't

need anybody else's help on the case.

- Who've you questioned already?

- Just Darius Carter.

Why would you interrogate him? He

wasn't even at the relay on Saturday.

That's when he volunteers

at Planned Parenthood.

Yeah, I'm learning a lot about Darius.

I'd start with who told

Aneesa and work backwards.

That's what I said.

All right, babe. I gotta dip.

I got that commercial audition

for that traffic safety PSA.

You're definitely gonna get it.

No one could do the part

of "teen refusing to wear

seat belt" better than you.

Mm.

Later, babe.

Well, well, well, you and Malcolm!

Oh! Isn't he dreamy?

I can't believe I get to

date an out-of-work actor!

What are you talking about?

Trying to figure out who made

up the rumor about Aneesa.

So you're starting with the person

who told Aneesa and working backwards?

Yup. So, Aneesa, who's the first

person that told you about the rumor?

Um, I don't know his name, but he

was drinking a large iced cappuccino

and complimented my

Cara Delevingne brows.

Jonah! That's where we'll start!

Oh. So you'll be joining in on this too?

Oh my gosh. I love this.

This is my whole life now.

Great.

Oh, hi, Dr. Jackson! Love the beard!

Hi.

Dr. Jackson, what an

unexpected displeasure.

Oh, it's like that, huh?

I'm only here because your patients

keep parking in my

office's reserved spots.

First of all, how do you know

those cars were for my office?

They could be from that

weird hair-transplant clinic.

No, it's definitely our office.

I tell people to park there

because I'm embarrassed

our spots are next to the dumpster

where the raccoon family lives.

Sorry, Dr. Jackson.

It won't happen again.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

What's with the getup?

You look very nice.

Uh, well, if you must know,

I am going to Dr.

Morales's retirement party.

Uh, she's the head of Derm at

UCLA where she was my mentor.

You know what?

She probably runs in more academic

circles than you're used to.

Right. Okay.

Well, you just keep your cars

parked in your own gross spots.

It's so exciting solving a mystery.

I feel like the Girl

with the Dragon Tattoo,

but without the severe bangs.

Ooh. Hey, look, there's Jonah!

Lil' D.

I need your help.

My bio test is today, and I

never looked over my flash cards

because I was blitzed at the relay.

- You didn't look over them on Sunday?

- Well, I was kind of hungover,

and then a game was

on, and Trent came over,

and we got blitzed again.

Look, it doesn't matter. You

said you'd help me at the relay

and never showed up, so

you gotta help me now.

I'm kind of in the middle of

something. Could I find you at lunch?

You better come 'cause I can't

learn this crap without you.

Okay, yeah.

So, Jonah,

Aneesa said you told

her about the rumor.

Yeah, because I'm not fake,

and people need to know what

other people are saying about them.

There's a rumor you

were born with one hoof.

I started it, but you deserve to know.

See? Aren't you glad I told you?

Yes, Jonah. Thank you for your honesty.

All right. Let's get back to Aneesa.

You remember who you

heard the rumor from?

I keep a log for networking

and blackmailing purposes

in case anyone ever tries

to bring the drama to me.

It was Eddie Tan.

Fabiola and Eleanor were

thrilled they had a hot lead.

Devi not so much.

They found Eddie outside of pre-calc,

and he told them he heard the

rumor from supercouple Drewzanna,

whom they found making

out in the bleachers.

They said they overheard

it from Sweaty Tara,

who was housing a Sloppy

Joe in the cafeteria.

She directed them to Mean

Denise in the weight room

who sent them to Asthmatic

Dave at the nurse's office

who blamed Show Choir

Dustin in the theater

Me, me, me ♪

who then sent our detectives

to the familiar face of

Trent in Spanish class.

I dunno who told me.

I just remember I was

sticking Marcus's toothbrush

between my butt cheeks as a prank.

Anyway, while I had his

toothbrush between my butt cheeks,

someone came over and was like,

"Aneesa's anorexic. Isn't that hilare?"

Oh no! Looks like we're at

the deadest of dead ends!

I'll tell Principal Grubbs

that the investigation's a bust.

Wait. No, they said "hilare."

I think we can tell Principal Grubbs

that we have our culprits!

Girls, I'm not gonna say

I think you're better

than this because well

Obvious reasons for sure.

Starting a vicious

rumor about a classmate

is unconscionable.

We've gotten away with

so many worse rumors.

But we didn't start it, I don't think.

Does it sound like

something we would say? Yes.

But did we say it? Maybe.

Both of you have detention for a

month. You're off the dance committee.

What? No!

Then you can say goodbye

to my dad's car dealership buying

a full-page ad in the yearbook.

That check is cleared,

and it's nonrefundable.

Have a great day, ladies.

For the first time, Devi was thankful

that she was so

forgettable to these girls.

And it's not like innocent

people were taking the fall.

Shira and Zoe had blabbed

the rumor to half the school.

So the horrible pit in Devi's stomach

was probably just the

feeling of a job well done.

Right? Right?

Ah, hello, kanna, perfect timing.

I've just returned from shopping.

Did you pick up any sodas? My

friends are coming over tonight.

She didn't go to the grocery

store. She shopped locally.

- She picked the neighbor's fruit trees.

- What? Pati, you can't do that.

Why?

Do you think the two men who live

next door need all these oranges?

I saw one of them order a

tray of nachos at 10:00 a.m.

But it's stealing. Americans are

weird about their fruit trees,

and defending their property in general.

It's true. Everyone here

has a g*n and a juicer.

No one will catch me.

And if they do, I'll pretend I

have dementia and babble in Tamil.

It doesn't matter if you

don't get caught. It's wrong.

Uh-oh, someone's having an epiphany.

Oh, Devi, you are

your father's daughter.

Such a good head and

such broad shoulders.

Hi, Setseg. Oh, sorry

I haven't responded

to your Evite about laser tag yet.

Uh, yes, please do.

That's not even why I was calling.

Evan just sent the paper

to all the co-authors.

Ooh! Great!

I'll check my email right now!

I haven't gotten it yet.

But my computer is full of viruses

from my grandmother

pirating Indian Idol.

No, Kamala. You didn't get it because

you're not listed as a co-author.

What? How is that possible?

I made the discovery that

the whole paper was based on.

I know. Evan would k*ll me

if he knew I was calling you.

But it has to be a mistake.

I'll get to the bottom of it.

Speaking of bottom,

do you have your own laser

pants or will you be renting?

I'll need to rent them and

any laser tag equipment.

Assume I'm bringing nothing.

Nalini!

- I cannot believe you're retiring. No.

- Oh, I know.

I know, but it's time.

Oh, I am dying for you to

meet my other favorite mentee,

Dr. Chris Jackson.

Hello, Dr. Vishwakumar.

Hello, Dr. Jackson.

You two know each other?

Sure, we do. What a

surprise to see you here.

Yes. I bet you're surprised to

see me in such an academic circle.

The one and only thing I agree

with my boring dad

and snooze-fest Sharon

is that cheesy bread

paired with Diet Coke

has its own taste personality.

Mm-hmm.

Oh sh*t. I'm sorry. Am I

talking about food too much?

Oh.

It's fine. I guess, uh, we should talk

about what's going

on in my cuckoo brain.

You don't have to tell us.

Nah. I do, but feel

free to feel awkward.

Okay, so last year I kinda

fell in with the cool girls,

and, uh, luckily for me,

I wasn't just the only

brown girl in the group.

I was also the Muslim brown girl

whose mom insisted she wear a full

sweat suit to every pool party.

So literally the only thing those girls

ever complimented me

on was being skinny.

And then something inside

my brain made me feel like

I couldn't be skinny enough,

and I just couldn't stop.

So I had to go to a special hospital.

But I want you guys to know

that I'm in a program,

and I'm doing much better,

and I'm so glad I met you guys.

Especially you, Devi.

To have an Indian friend who gets me

and would never treat me like

I don't belong is probably the

It was me.

What was you?

I started the rumor.

What?

I started the rumor.

I'm the one who told Shira and Zoe,

but I didn't even know it was true.

I was just mad that you hooked up

with Ben, and I used to date him.

So I freaked out, and I'm really,

really, really sorry, Aneesa.

Uh

I'm gonna go.

At least I came clean.

That should count for something, right?

Eleanor, I think we should go too.

Nalini, did you know that Chris

uses all of the proceeds

from his cosmetic line

to fund pro-bono surgeries at

the Children's Hospital? Mm-hmm.

Isn't that impressive?

- Uh, yes, very impressive.

- Mm-hmm.

And he's raising a son on his own.

- Pretty remarkable.

- Thank you.

- You're a father?

- Mm-hmm.

And, Chris, Nalini is no slouch either.

She was the first person ever

to win the Bevins Surgical

Award as a resident.

Wait, that was you?

I remember hearing about

that and being super jealous.

Oh, I could brag about

you both all night,

but my husband has

had too much to drink.

- Check. Hello.

- A little too much champagne,

and he's trying to make a speech,

so I better get over there.

I didn't know you were such a big sh*t.

I didn't know you were such

a good person. Go figure.

Well, I know we're

supposed to be enemies.

Sort of.

But, can I get you a drink?

Holy cow!

Nalini Vishwakumar?

Oh my God. She was the most

annoying person in my residency.

- Hello, Gail.

- Hi.

Hey, I heard about Mohan. Just so awful.

So awful, just so awful!

How are you holding up?

- I'm holding up. Thank you.

- Are you really?

We go way back. Tell me.

You don't have to pretend.

I'm fine.

Okay. Well, if you need anything at all,

even if you wanna come over

to my house and just cry,

I am here for you. Okay?

Thank you, Gail.

Hey, Gail.

- Hey!

- Chris Jackson.

Chris! Of course!

We met at that, um,

that conference in Dubuque a

couple years ago. Do you remember?

Definitely. Hey, why don't we

get a drink? We can catch up.

- Yeah. I'd love that.

- Yeah.

Okay. I'm gonna check on you later.

Can't wait.

Hi. How are we?

Are we still mad?

We're not mad. We're just disappointed.

Yeah, you really Devi'd this one up.

Are we using Devi as a negative verb?

Yeah, you let your temper

get the best of you, man.

This is worse than when you

punched that vending machine.

I didn't pay for those Sour

Straws to get stuck on the coil.

Okay, fine. Maybe I did Devi

this one up, but I feel awful.

I really like Aneesa.

Then you better figure out

a way to apologize to her,

like with a singing telegram or a

thoughtful selection of bath bombs.

Or what if I just try to

explain my side of the story?

Respectfully, I have no

faith you can pull that off.

I would go with the bath bombs.

But Aneesa's whole thing is

that she's chill and easygoing.

If I just talk to her, she'll

understand where I'm coming from.

Trust me, by the end of the day,

to Devi something up will mean

to make something better forever.

I don't know.

Fab, the dance committee has

set up their table. You ready?

- Yeah, let's go.

- Okay.

Hi, would you like to nominate

someone for Cricket King and Queen?

If it's Paxton and Zoe, they've

already been nominated like 50 times.

Um, no, not Paxton and Zoe.

We would like to nominate

ourselves as Cricket Queens.

Oh. I can't do that.

What? Why?

Because we're two girls?

Does the idea of same-sex

dance royalty make you uncomfy?

Would you prefer to be

complicit in q*eer erasure?

Stop yelling at me! I don't have

a problem with you being gay.

I can't leave my post now

to print out a different form

because Principal Grubbs fired

the rest of the dance committee.

Oh, I can just scratch

out king and put queen.

Okay.

Thank you. Final voting

will take place at the dance,

which, apparently, I have

to put on all by myself now.

Hey, you just reamed

Carley. That was so dope.

- Y'all running for Cricket Queens?

- Yeah, it was all Fabiola's idea.

That's my girl right

there. You a baddie, Fab.

Now we just got to make sure y'all win.

Okay.

Good morning, Dr. Jackson.

Good morning, Dr. Vishwakumar.

Where are you coming from?

Oh, you know, just my car, which is

parked deep in the bowels of hell.

Why would you park down there

when you have a spot right here?

Wow. You've been

awfully heroic recently.

Uh, how was your, uh

your conversation with Gail?

I can only describe

it as long and painful.

You know you didn't

have to do that, right?

Well, I haven't gone through anything

close to what you've experienced,

but when my wife moved out, everyone

wanted to talk to me about it.

Hmm.

And no one seemed to care that

I didn't have anything to say.

So last night, I was happy

to take one for the team.

After you.

Oh, you know,

I actually have a personal matter

to take care of, but thank you.

Uh, thank you for that

and and the spot.

Of course.

Sherman Oaks' second best dermatologist

deserves the second best parking space.

You were a decent human being for

seven seconds, and I'll take that.

So, Kamala, we have the pleasure

of the next 60 minutes together.

How should we start?

Shall I tell you the

story of how I became me?

It all began on a goat farm

in the civil parish of

Barton-upon-Humber

Actually, I didn't

mean to interrupt you,

but I was hoping I could

discuss something with you first.

Well, of course, it's your time.

Evan sent out the first

draft of the paper last night,

and my name was left off of it.

Oh, and you feel that you

should have been credited?

Yes. I don't know if Evan told

you, but I was the one who realized

which cells had the greatest

tendency for clonal self-renewal.

Well, that was a fine observation,

but I don't get involved

in the politics of the lab.

If Evan left your name off,

I'm sure he had a reason.

But I do think that

I deserve to be on it.

Kamala, do you really want to spend

our mentorship hour together

complaining about another co-worker?

Mm.

So let's get back to how a boy

raised among goats won a Nobel.

Devi knew she could set

everything right again

if she could just talk to Aneesa,

but when she got to chemistry,

she found Aneesa's spot in the

lab filled by a very chatty Jonah.

The last time Aneesa was

missing from this class,

she ended up being in the

Devi Vishwakumar,

please report to the principal's office.

Kinda walked right into that one.

Awkward!

Devi, Aneesa just told me that

you're the one who started the rumor.

Yes, and I am so, so sorry.

I'm sorry, too, Devi.

- You're suspended.

- What?

I said you're suspended.

But Zoe and Shira just got

kicked off the dance committee,

and they told way more people.

Give me a couple extra

detentions, and we'll call it even.

This is not a negotiation.

You started a rumor, then

you lied to your principal,

and then you let two

students take the fall for it.

But a suspension goes

on my permanent record!

That could ruin my

chance to go to Princeton!

Mom, do something!

I'm sorry, Devi.

These are the consequences

for your actions.

Meet me in the car.

Just grab your stuff.

Hey, Aneesa. Could I

talk to you for a second?

I am so sorry about what happened.

But Principal Grubbs just suspended

me. Maybe if you talk to her

Wow. That's what you care about?

I thought the girls at my

last school were selfish.

You're on another level.

I'm not trying to be selfish.

I feel terrible about what

happened, but you don't understand.

I've wanted to go to Princeton

forever. Like, it's my whole thing.

Now my whole thing is being the

new girl with an eating disorder.

Just so you know, I

never hooked up with Ben.

It's insanely obvious you

two have some kind of history.

But I saw you guys go into Trent's tent.

Dude! To hide from you

because you were making us run!

Everyone was right.

You are crazy, Devi.

Thanks a lot. Just failed my bio test.

Are you mad at me? That's not my fault.

If you'd studied with

me like you said

Paxton, if you want good

grades, then be a good student.

I can't hold your hand forever!

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I've just been suspended!

Wow, two fights back-to-back.

Man, she'd royally Devi'd

this day up. Original meaning.