02x08 - .. been Daisy Buchanan

[bunniefuu]

Ever since Devi had stopped

Aneesa from transferring schools,

Ben was, thankfully, back

to talking to her again.

'Sup, David?

Not much.

Oh.

A bird got caught in our chimney

this morning. That was wild!

Well, he was talking to her,

whenever his mouth

wasn't hoovering Aneesa's.

But Devi couldn't be mad

that they were a couple now.

It had all been above board.

- You honestly don't mind?

- No, I'm good.

I love that you and Ben are together.

I'm your biggest fan! I'm your stan.

Thanks, Devi.

Now, let's just pray my

parents never find out,

or I say goodbye to my first boyfriend

and hello to being homeschooled

with my super religious

cousin, Shahrukh.

Hey!

- What's up?

- How are you?

How are you?

The old Devi would not have

been able to handle this.

But this new Devi was trying

a more mature approach.

Ugh!

Well, sort of.

- Ah!

- Oh. Sorry.

Didn't mean to sneak up on you.

Damn, Fab, are you

wearing a leather jacket?

Yep. Eve took me shopping.

Look at these zippers. Some

don't even come with pockets!

- Mmm.

- Hey! Since we're all here,

what do you think about sharing

a limo to the Winter Dance?

- Big yes!

- Love it.

Ooh, queen!

Gorgeous! Devi, what about you?

Um, you think you're gonna have a date?

Oh. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've got a few prospects.

A couple of guys in the rotashe.

She is lying. She has no one.

Who even cares about dates?

They're there to hold

our purses and look cute.

- Oh. Is that all I am to you?

- Yeah.

- Oh, really?

- That's exactly what

Um, I actually don't

wanna ride in the limo,

'cause I spent my whole childhood

in a magical one on television.

Oh, Malcolm, I'm really sorry

The fact that you

could even suggest that,

makes me feel really

unseen by my partner.

Like, where's your head at?

- Would you be open to a party bus?

- Oh, no, yeah, sure. I love party buses!

Hey, El?

Yeah?

I don't love the way

Malcolm just talked to you.

It reminded me of

that health class video

about controlling teen relationships.

The one from the '80s where the

guy smashes the girl's boom box

and tells her she can't wear

her favorite leg warmers?

Yeah, and she cries

into her Trapper Keeper!

You don't know him like I do.

That's just the way

we are with each other.

I promise, it's fine.

That's literally verbatim

what the girl said in

the health class video.

'Sup, Sash?

Yeah. 'Sup, Sash?

Y'all, I have put together the

dopest social schedule for you two.

After school today, you're having

salads with the cool vegans,

followed by a kombucha

with the less-cool vegans,

and then tomorrow, the

volleyball fundraiser

Actually, Sasha,

uh, Monday, Wednesday, Friday I

have robotics practice after school.

Fab, robotics can wait. We already

got rid of your dork clothes.

We need to get you and

Eve out among the people.

No one's gonna vote for

Cricket Queens they don't know.

So we need to campaign, henny!

I know it's asking a lot

for you to skip robotics,

but think about how meaningful it'll be

for the q*eer community

here when we win.

Yeah, I know.

But I'm the robotics team captain.

I can't just ditch my guys.

I'd assume they're probably

pretty used to being ditched.

Hey!

Why don't we compromise?

How about, just for this week,

you skip Monday and

Wednesdays practices?

But going forward, Sasha

will schedule around robotics.

Sound good?

Yeah, okay. Yeah, that could work.

I sort of stand by the fact

that the fewer robots

she's with, the better.

But yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah. Deal.

Oh sh*t!

In all her focus to

repair things with Aneesa,

Devi had totally forgotten

that someone else was

probably pissed at her too.

If you want good grades,

then be a good student.

I can't hold your hand forever!

Yeah. It seems like

there might need to be

one more stop on her apology tour.

Hey! Paxton!

So, what was your memory

of our last interaction?

You yelled at me like

I was a stupid child.

I can see how you'd

interpret it that way,

but listen, I had just been suspended,

and I was in a really

emotionally volatile place.

Whatever, Devi. I don't

really care about it.

Really? Sick!

If you wanna meet up later,

we can talk about tutoring

Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna

need tutoring anymore actually.

I'm gonna take your

advice, do it on my own.

I wouldn't want you to

have to "hold my hand."

All right, homies.

Since we've come to the end of

our unit on The Great Gatsby,

and because I can't read another paper

about the symbolism of the green light,

here's what we're gonna do.

We're gonna do a mock trial

to test your knowledge.

A mock trial of what? We already

know that George Wilson k*lled Gatsby.

Word? Guess what? We're not

trying George Wilson, okay?

We are going to try and decide

if our favorite trust-fund bae,

Daisy Buchanan, should also be

tried for the m*rder of Jay Gatsby.

Ooh, what do y'all think?

That's creative as hell, huh?

I've chosen your jobs for you.

You're gonna be the prosecution,

defense, witnesses and so forth.

Ooh, Devi! Me, you,

and Ben are the defense.

We all get to work

together. Isn't that tight?

Bet!

Okay, looks like we're the prosecution,

so should I just do all the work

and you guys say what I tell you to?

Awesome. Feel free to write me a

lot of prop-work. It's my forte.

What? No! Look, I want to

contribute. I actually read the book.

All right, cool. We'll work as a group.

But not me, right?

Yes! You too, weird actor

kid with too many rings.

- Stop.

- What?

Okay, let's get started.

It says here

that our group is the defense and Daisy,

but doesn't say who should play Daisy.

I should be one of the lawyers.

Aside from being hyper masculine,

my dad's a lawyer, so it's in my blood.

Uh-huh, and I should

probably be the other lawyer.

I am on the school's mock trial team,

and I've been told I have a

very disagreeable personality.

- So, Aneesa, you'll be our Daisy.

- Oh, for real?

I kinda wanted to be a lawyer too.

I don't really identify

with the Daisy character.

She's, like, super flighty and unstable,

and throws away a

good man for no reason.

Good point. Devi, you're Daisy.

Wait, what?

Oh, Benny, should we get matching suits?

- What? Yeah!

- Right?

I'm gonna go get a soda.

You okay? Seems like t*rture out there.

That tickle fight went on forever!

Which one? There's been four.

Oh my God! Boy, you better stop!

I'm really trying to be mature,

Kamala, but it's so hard.

Yeah, I think you're in need

of some family assistance.

So I brought some of my dad's trial

books. This is one of his faves.

Maybe we should watch a few episodes

of How to Get Away with m*rder.

Hey, guys. Sorry to interrupt,

but Devi's grandmother

wanted to join the fun.

She was almost alive in the 1920s.

Hello, Auntie.

Help me down, child. Don't

touch my hip! Too brittle.

Don't mind me. I'm just here to listen.

Kamala had saved the day,

momentarily granting Devi a

recess from her own personal trial,

but Devi knew this

relief was only temporary

and she would need to

have a word with the judge.

Okay, I think we should

start by listing the facts.

All right. Daisy drove

the car that k*lled Myrtle.

Uh-huh, uh-huh, and here's my thought.

What if I leave the facts to you two,

and I'm in charge of playing

to the court's emotions?

I'll bite. How would you do that?

By being Gatsby's silent haunting ghost.

Is that so you don't have to do work?

Uh, it's a lot of work to

act only with your eyes.

Okay, fine. Who cares?

You're the ghost, dude.

Excellent.

I'm gonna go look in your bathroom

mirror and try to scare myself.

Hey, is there any chance

that these texts are platonic?

No.

Mr. Kulkarni, I have to change roles.

I can't work with the defense team!

Damn it. Could you just come in

and say, "Hello, Mr. Kulkarni"?

Or "Wow, your homemade pizza

smells straight-up delish"?

I don't have time for small

talk, Mr. K! This is an emergency,

and your pizza smells regular.

Okay, first of all,

don't knock my homemade pizza

if you want a favor from me.

- Secondly, there's no switching roles.

- But I can't work with Ben and Aneesa!

They're always all over each other,

and I don't know if you know

this, but Ben and I have a past.

A sordid past.

Look, let me tell you a story.

My ex-girlfriend and I,

we broke up right after we signed

up for this couples' cooking class,

and now I gotta see her every Wednesday.

- Why are you still going to the class?

- Because I paid for 11 weeks upfront.

What, I'm gonna let her make

delicious date-night foods on my dime?

Was there a point you

were working up to?

Okay, the point is,

I get to see her every week,

and I get to be reminded

of all the things that

annoy me about her.

Like her cackling laugh, or her

overuse of the word "random,"

or the way she constantly brings

up her semester abroad in London.

Oh, that's kinda cool.

It's not. It's basic.

The point is, distance

makes the heart grow fonder,

and proximity makes

the heart want to barf,

so you get back to that group

and you let that boy

annoy the hell out of you.

Huh?

- Hmm.

- Okay.

Also, tell your cousin I said hi.

That pizza making you

a little thirsty, Mr. K?

Hey. So last night I was

looking at Malcolm's phone,

and there was a bunch

of sus texts popping up.

Ew! Who the F is Isabella?

The home-wrecker he's

cheating on El with!

So he plays her to her

face and behind her back.

This dude is trash!

Yeah, I know! How are we gonna tell her?

You know, a lot of people

see law as stuffy and boring,

but I like to think the Constitution

as a living, breathing document.

Devi had forgotten how

tedious Ben could be.

You know I actually went to the premiere

of Baz Luhrmann's The Great Gatsby?

Yeah, it's the one with Leo in it.

My dad and Baz play

squash together sometimes.

- What? That's so cool!

- Yeah. I know.

Mmm.

Nothing but plastic. Let's go!

Ow!

All right! Uh, I think we're done here.

Wow, it seems like we made

a lot of progress today.

- What do you think, Devi?

- Oh, definitely.

A lot of progress.

Devi was feeling a little lighter.

By just shifting her mindset, she

had turned Ben from a dreamboat

back into the annoying

dork he had always been.

Devi, what are you smiling about?

Your mother just told us

that she was abandoning us!

- Huh?

- I am just not having dinner with you.

I'm gonna go see Frost/Nixon

at the Taper Forum.

Ooh! Can I come with?

- I love plays that are two-handers.

- What? No!

Sorry, did not mean to snap at you.

It's just that this outing is

just for people from my office,

like me, and Tracey

You could have warned me before I

bought four portions of cauliflower.

I didn't know that we were

so wasteful in this family.

Perhaps, I should just start

flushing money down the toilet.

Aiyyo! Cari. I will eat before

I go. I will eat before I go.

Thank you.

So, Devi, tell us about your day.

Huh? My day was pretty deese.

Mr. Kulkarni actually

taught me a valuable lesson.

Only one valuable lesson?

American public schools.

Also, he said to say hi to you, Kamala.

- He did?

- Hmm.

Oh.

- Tell him I said hi back.

- Mmm.

Is Kamala blushing? Whoa!

If Mr. K had said hi to me,

I would not have blushed.

We are nothing more ♪

♪

Than strangers, after all ♪

Wow, this is a real vibe.

Is this an intervention?

I don't sniff Sharpies anymore.

That was just one tough week.

No! We're just celebrating your spirit.

Some chamomile and charged crystal?

Okay.

And maybe we're here to also tell you

that Malcolm might be cheating on you.

What?

I'm sorry, El.

I saw some pretty suspicious

texts on his phone.

Well, maybe it was a misunderstanding.

Malcolm's a very passionate texter.

He added eggplants on his

text votes for American Idol.

What he texted isn't the problem.

That cretin!

Who's this harlot Isabella?

I don't know, but she's no Eleanor Wong!

Malcolm sucks, and you

deserve someone better.

You deserve Daniel Day-Lewis

making his wife live with him

in character as Abraham Lincoln.

My ideal.

We got you. Forget about Malcolm.

I'll be your date to the dance.

Now tell me, which

essential oil do you need?

Sandalwood, please.

It's open.

Oh. Hey! Where's Aneesa?

Oh, she has a soccer game in Pasadena,

so just you and me today, David.

Oh, okay, cool.

I mean, there's really

not much left to do,

and I already picked

out my fit for Daisy.

It was inspired by what Lindsay

Lohan wore to her DUI trial.

Nice! Yeah, no, I think

we're in good shape.

Hey, I hope things haven't been too

weird for you working

with me and Aneesa.

Oh.

Nah, it's chill.

I think you and Aneesa

make a really good couple.

She's super cool, and you're

someone who deserves someone super cool.

Thanks.

Yeah, no, I I really like her.

And honestly, anyone's

better than Shira.

Or me, for that matter.

I was a real bad girlfriend.

I'm sorry about that.

You'll do better next time. Just

maybe stick to one guy.

Huh, I'll try. But you know

me, I'm just so insatiable.

Order in the court!

We are presiding over the case of

the People versus Daisy Buchanan,

in the case of the m*rder

of one Mr. Jay Gatsby.

Let the prosecution begin

with their opening statements.

Your Honor, Daisy Buchanan is

the reason we are here today,

and the reason why Mr. Gatsby is not.

Well, at least not

in his corporeal form.

Anyway, if Daisy had not

run over Myrtle Wilson

and allowed Mr. Gatsby

to take the blame for it,

then George Wilson

would not have thought Mr.

Gatsby was his wife's lover,

and therefore, would

not have k*lled him.

Thank you.

Thank you, prosecution.

Defense, your opening remarks?

"Her voice is full of money."

That's how Jay Gatsby described Daisy.

Now, the prosecution has given a

rather simple assessment of the case.

No offense.

For it's not Daisy's

fault that Gatsby is dead.

No, no, the fault lies

in the rampant classism and

materialism of the 1920s,

and the society in which Daisy existed

gave her no choice but to reject Gatsby,

which ultimately led to his demise.

Thus, the defendant is incontestably

innocent.

Mic drop.

Mmm, okay.

Prosecution, you may

call your first witness.

We call Nick Carraway,

the narrator of the book.

So, uh, Nick, tell us why

you think Daisy's guilty?

Because she like blew my boy off,

even though Gatsby threw,

like, sick parties for her,

and had a dope mansion and sh*t.

But even you acknowledge the societal

ills that led to Gatsby's death.

That's why you move back

to the Midwest at the end.

I do?

That sucks. I only watched

the first half of the movie.

Trent, I'm right here! You

should not be admitting to that.

Defense, it's time for your witnesses.

We call the defendant, Daisy Buchanan.

May it please the court,

I am but a victim of my circumstances.

As a woman of this era, all I

have is my ability to marry well.

You may remember that women only

just got the right to vote in 1920.

Well said, Miss Buchanan.

How about we move on to

some closing arguments?

Defense, you may start.

So, in conclusion,

uh, Daisy Buchanan is innocent

of these charges because

Um

Sorry.

I don't know where I put it.

Okay, well, I can't find it, but,

uh, basically, society and stuff.

Just like my colleague said.

So because of that, uh,

she had, has,

to be not guilty.

Thank you.

"Society and stuff," huh?

Look, all I'm hearing from that

side is excuse after excuse.

It's time for this woman to take

responsibility for her actions!

Daisy Buchanan may

not have fired the g*n,

but she is certainly guilty

for k*lling Jay Gatsby,

because when she chose Tom

over him, she stopped his heart.

Therefore, he was dead long before

the b*llet ever entered his body.

The prosecution rests.

Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo!

Damn! Excellent work, Miss Torres.

It wouldn't hold weight

in a court of law,

but it certainly holds some

weight in the court of literature.

The court sides Boom!

With the prosecution!

Daisy Buchanan, you are guilty

of the m*rder of Jay Gatsby.

Wait, I lost?

- I lost in an academic competition?

- Yeah, you did.

Yes, we won!

What happened to your note cards?

Oh, that I don't know.

I threw them in my backpack,

and I guess they got mixed up.

Sorry about that.

Uh, you're not mad, are you?

Uh, no. No! No, of course not.

Okay.

Dude, I'm not even bummed that I lost

because your closing argument was sick!

"He was dead before the

b*llet ever entered his body."

Thank you.

Hey! You two!

So guess what?

Those texts of Malcolm's, they

were from his agent about a role.

She's 73,

and she's an out-and-proud

asexual, so it's far from romantic.

Yeah, right!

She called him "babe" and said that

he "looked cute" when he's filthy.

Uh, that's because I just

got cast as the voice of Babe

Space Pig.

Oh sh*t.

- Sorry.

- Mmm.

We were just trying to be good friends.

Is that what you're telling yourselves?

All I see are immature children

who can't be happy for their friend.

Time to get you some

new gal pals, Eleanor.

El, he may not be cheating,

but he's still a toxic,

condescending douchebag!

Whoa!

The only toxic people I see are you two.

Stop trying to break us up.

I'm choosing to be with Malcolm!

"How you like them apples?"

Matt Damon, Good Will Hunting.

And like, I should be taking

relationship advice from you anyway?

Fabiola, you've turned

into an Eve clone.

And, Devi, in what world do you

know anything about relationships?

You've never even been in a real one,

and your two-timing

situation doesn't count.

Eleanor

Just because your personal

life is a toilet fire

doesn't mean you have to take

a flaming dump all over mine.

Over the past week,

Devi had done her best to be a selfless,

emotionally mature friend to all,

and what had it gotten her?

Here she was, crying on

the street like a maniac.

Hey.

You need a ride?

I'm fine.

You don't look fine. You look

puffy.

Come on.

Fab, Fab, Fab, Fab. There you are.

I'll be right in, guys.

- No, you won't.

- What?

Shira's throwing a

last-minute hot tub party,

and we scored an invite.

Eve's in the car. Come on!

I already missed two practices

and we agreed you were gonna

try and schedule around that.

I can't predict when Shira's

gonna whip out her frozé machine

and invite the popular kids

to get in their bikinis, okay?

All I know is that this is

the event we need to go to,

so let's go slurp up some frozen wine

and make you into a Cricket Queen.

Come on!

So, why were you crying?

I got into a really

bad fight with Eleanor.

Seems like you're in a

fight with lots of people.

Paxton, I'm so sorry I yelled at you.

Yeah, you were really rude,

but I have been trying

to take your advice.

I saw, and look, your team won today.

Not because of me.

I I just don't get it.

You know, I worked as hard as I could,

and still got thrashed by the

kid you cheated on me with.

I mean, maybe I am dumb.

You're not dumb.

Yeah, but I'm not smart.

Can I give you some non-yelling advice?

I don't think you worked

as hard as you could.

I think you did the assignment,

but if you really wanted

to wow your teachers,

you have to go above and beyond.

What's the hardest you ever

pushed yourself in swimming?

Uh I guess there was that one

time I accidentally swam to San Diego.

What? From Los Angeles?

Yeah.

Wow! Well, okay.

Swim to San Diego in school.

Okay. Yeah, I'll give that a try.

Oh, do you mind just pulling up

by that fire hydrant over there?

You can't see it from my house,

and I don't want my mom to

flip out that I rode with you.

Yeah, I'd be down not to

interact with your mom ever again.

But anyway, I promise,

I'm a changed woman.

From now on, I'm as

chill as a Slurpee, bro.

I'll believe that when I see it.

Hmm.

Whoa, is that a Maybach? Sick!

Wait, I recognize that car.

And is that your mom

in there? With a guy?

Yep, that's the face of a girl

who is realizing her

mom is on a date. Yikes!