"Mummy in the Maze"
Episode 3x05
Written By: Scott Williams
Directed by: Marita Grabiak
Transcribed by: xxblackxsatinxx
Disclaimer: The characters, plotlines, quotes, etc. included here are owned by Hart Hanson, all rights reserved. This transcript is not authorized or endorsed by Hart Hanson or Fox.
Teaser Ext. roadside halloween maze - day It's Halloween, and many kids have gathered around this maze dressed up in an assortment of costumes. The camera pans around a number of people as the host exclaims the rules of the game. host Come, my brave children, to the hideous Halloween maze. Avoid the creepies and the crawlies that live in every dark corner of the maze. And the first one to reach the centre and emerge alive will win the grand prize. AHA!
A p*stol is sh*t, declaring the beginning of the race, as the children break through the starting line and push past each other into the maze.
The maze is covered with traps and dead ends. As the kids run around, the camera follows one boy, MATTY, a heavy-set boy dressed as a fuzzy bear. Matty is clearly lost and frightened as he runs around aimlessly in the maze. Matty comes across the hanging skeleton, scared by it turns in the other direction. Matty runs into the large witch at the intersection and he turns, once more, scared. Through the tunnels of the maze, you can see other children running about, trying to get to the centre. Matty whimpers and looks around, scared.
Matty: Where am I?
Matty looks down one of the pathways of the maze, and there sits a skeleton in an electric chair indicating a dead end.
A woman dressed in a cat costume lunges out at Matty and scares him. Matty stands in front of the large black witch.
Matty (CONT'D): I'm lost! Somebody help me!
Matty begins to run. A GRIM REAPER jumps out at Matty. Matty screams and begins to run again. Matty runs passed the noose. The bottom half of a hanging mummy can be seen quickly.
Matty comes face to face with the mummy.
CLOSE ON The mummy's face. A spider crawls out of the eye socket.
BACK TO SCENE Matty begins screaming. The spider falls on his nose. Matty faints.
Ext. Halloween maze - night The maze is all lit up with hanging ornament lights. Sirens wail in the background, as witnesses are being interviewed.
DR. POTOSKA leads BRENNAN and BOOTH into the maze.
Potoska: Right this way, miss.
Booth admires the costumes.
Booth: Now, that's an excellent costume.
What are you wearing?
Brennan: What? Now?
Booth: No, not now. At the Jeffersonian's Halloween Ball.
Int. halloween maze - night Booth and Brennan followed Dr. Potoska.
Brennan: What I always wear. Are you going this year?
Booth: I'm the official unofficial FBI liaison to the Jeffersonian. Of course I'm going.
Dr. Potoska notes the wolfman. Potoska walkies another officer.
Potoska: We just passed the wolfman.
Deputy (o.s.): Go straight towards the guillotine and veer left.
Potoska turns to look at Booth and Brennan.
Potoska: It's a maze. What can I do?
Booth, Brennan and Potoska continue through the maze.
Brennan: Dr. Potoska, how were the remains discovered?
Potoska: A kid passed out.
Brennan: What k*lled him?
Potoska: Oh, the kid didn't die. He just fainted.
Brennan: Then why am I here?
They walk past a hanging skeleton.
Potoska: Well, when Matty fainted, I was here with my own kids. I'm a pediatrician, but I'm also the coroner.
Booth: Small town.
They continue to walk through the maze. As Potoska begins, and continues to talk, Booth gets separated momentarily from Brennan and Potoska.
Potoska: Yeah, well, Matty revived easily enough. Uh, he's what you call a nervous-type kid. But then I saw what it was that made him faint in the first place and I almost fainted too, because it was a mummy, which I told the sheriff, who called the FBI, who called the Jeffersonian. And now here we are, lost in this stupid maze looking for the mummy.
Booth reappears and joins Brennan and Potoska.
Booth: A mummy?
Potoska
(in walkie)
Yeah, I do not see a guillotine.
Potoska looks at a scarecrow wearing a cowboy hat.
Potoska (CONT'D): What would you call that?
Brennan: A cowboy?
Booth: No, it's a scarecrow.
Deputy (o.S.): Look, just keep turning to the right, all right? Let me know when you reach the dragon.
The trio turn, and are greeted by a red and green monkey face with big white teeth.
Potoska (to walkie): Dead end, with teeth.
Deputy (o.S.): That's because you turned left at the globin. You were supposed to turn right.
Potoska turns around.
Booth: Look, when you say a mummy? You mean... ?
Potoska: Wrapped in bandages, curse of King Tut. You know, a mummy.
Brennan: No offense, but I'm not certain a pediatrician is qualified.
Potoska: Pediatrician AND coroner. See that? Yeah.
They stand in front of the electric chair.
Potoska (CONT'D): (in walkie) Okay, we are at the electric chair.
Deputy: There's an electric chair?
Booth: Look, just tell the guy to throw his flashlight up in the air, will ya?
Potoska: The FBI requests that you toss your flashlight into the air.
The DEPUTY is with the mummy.
Deputy: Ten-four.
The Deputy tosses his flashlight into the air. Booth sees it.
Booth: Ah! There it is.
Potoska: Oh, let's see if we can get there this way.
Potoska begins to walk in the opposite direction. Brennan follows him. Booth stops them both.
Booth: Guys?
They stop to turn and look at him. Booth turns around and knocks down the haystack wall. The Deputy stands on the other side of the now fallen wall. The Deputy stands next to the mummy. Booth climbs over the fallen hay bundles.
Potoska (to Brennan): After you.
Booth stumbles on the bales of hay, regains his balance and breaths in. He looks up and sees the mummy.
Booth: Oh!
Brennan and Potoska follow Booth and climb over the fallen hay bundles.
Booth (CONT'D): What do you think, Bones?
Brennan examines at the mummy.
Brennan: Well, ocular contents dry, ramus collapsed, leathery skin. These are actual human remains.
Potoska: A mummy.
Brennan: How long will it take to get out of this maze?
Booth: Not as long as you might think.
Booth takes out his car keys and holds them up. Booth presses a button and his car alarm chirps. Booth turns around and knocks down the nearby hay wall. Booth's SUV is right on the opposite side of the now demolished wall. Booth climbs over the fallen hay bundlers and looks back to Brennan and lifts his arms with a look on his face that says 'it was that easy.'
End of teaser Act I INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB / EXAMINATION TABLE CAM and ZACK examine the mummified remains.
HODGINS, currently offscreen, is also on the platform.
Cam: It takes a steady flow of dry air over a long period of time to achieve this kind of desiccated mummification.
Zack: The Incan Ice Woman of Peru, the Tarim Basin mummies of China, the peat bog Tollund Man in Denmark.
Zack turns to look at the x-rays up on the screen.
HODGINS sits at a desk, his feet up, and a pumpkin full of candy in his lap. Hodgins is sucking on a lollipop.
Hodgins: How old are we talking?
Zack: Buttons, zipper, rivets. She's probably wearing jeans.
Hodgins: So, freakazoid m*rder-mummification rather than fascinating history?
Cam: She?
Zack: Shape of the innominate bone indicates female.
Cam: Now listen, boys. The Jeffersonian Halloween party, it's compulsory. Donors, patrons, angels, benefactors. So we all show up in costume and do our duty.
Hodgins is about to say something but Cam silences him with a finger.
Cam (CONT'D): I don't want any argument on this.
Zack: I will be the back end of a cow.
Hodgins: So, now costume?
Zack: Naomi, from Paleontology, has agreed to be my front.
Cam begins to cut the dressings from the mummy.
Hodgins: Oh, so many jokes, so little time.
Cam shakes her head as she smiles.
Hodgins (CONT'D): It's fine. We're all in. I'll be Edward John Smith for Halloween.
Cam looks up to Hodgins with a look of confusion on her face as she frowns. Zack notices.
Zack: Ill-fated captain of the Titanic.
Cam: What about Angela and Brennan?
Zack: Dr. Brennan always wears the same costume to this things. She loves it.
Cam: Help me remove these.
Cam and Hodgins slowly pull the dressings apart.
Hodgins: What's with the smell?
Cam: Cedar oil?
Zack: Also used in mummification.
Cam: What about this clear coating over the skin?
Hodgins: Lacquer?
Cam: She was painted to death?
Hodgins: The clothing came from a church-run thrift store.
Cam: How could you possibly know that?
Zack: There is no bug or slime specific to church thrift stores.
Hodgins: You don't know that. I'm the bug and slime guy. You're just the auxiliary bone guy who dresses up like the back end of a cow.
Cam: Hodgins?
Hodgins sighs, and rips off the label on the clothing and holds it up for Cam to read.
Cam (CONT'D): Free Church of America Thrift Store, huh? Tell Booth.
Zack: I knew it wasn't bugs or slime.
Hodgins: No, you didn't! And that's what makes me, King of the Lab!
Cam glares at Hodgins.
Hodgins (CONT'D): A loyal servant of the Empress.
Hodgins nods respectively towards Cam. Cam smiles with content.
Zack looks from Cam to Hodgins, raising an eyebrow.
Int. Free church of american / thrift store - day Booth and Brennan walk among the clothing racks at the thrift store while talking with PASTOR BILL JONAS.
Pastor: Clothes from this ministry were found on a dead body? Well, I'm afraid that happens fairly often.
Brennan: Why?
Pastor: Because we're a charitable congregation. Homeless people know that we'll provide them with what they need.
Pastor: Jonas puts down the painting he was carrying as Brennan opens the case file and shows him photographs.
Brennan: Do you, by any chance, remember these specific pieces of clothing?
Pastor: This is from your m*rder victim?
Brennan
(nods)
Mm-hmm.
A TEENAGE BOY wearing a long black trench coat interrupts them.
Boy: Jonas? Do you have anything like this in red?
Pastor: You're looking for something that screams "Satan," right?
Boy: Basically.
Pastor: I think we have a pink cape in the back. Maybe we can dye it.
The boy leaves.
Booth: What kind of church dresses kids like Satanists?
Pastor: Let me show you. At Halloween we do a Hell House. Fornication, theft, m*rder, gambling, usury, sodomy, abortion.
The pastor shows them a miniature of the Hell House.
Brennan: It's kind of horrific, isn't it?
Pastor: Well, abandoning the path of righteousness is horrific, Dr. Brennan. This is our way of remaking a pagan holiday, Halloween, into a positive celebration of Christian values. (to girl) Excellent prost*tute, Stephanie.
A GIRL, dressed provocatively, walks by them and smiles.
Stephanie: Hey.
Booth: Anyone ever dress like a mummy?
Pastor: We've never featured a "false idol" room, though, now that you mention it, it's not a bad idea.
Brennan: Ancient Egyptian religious beliefs endured for almost 4,000 years, twice the length of Christianity.
Booth: Look, any of your kids suddenly disappear?
Pastor: No.
Brennan: What if the children that you save from abortion grow up to be usurers and sodomites?
Pastor: I don't respond to mocking semantics, Dr. Brennan.
Booth: Nor do I, but she's serious.
Pastor: In that case, my serious answer would be that in being given a chance to live a life, the aborted soul will have a multitude of opportunities to repent for their sins and live bathed in the Holy Spirit.
Brennan nods.
Brennan: Thank you.
Booth: (surprised) Thank you?
Brennan looks to Booth.
Pastor (O.s.): You're welcome.
Int. Royal diner - day ANGELA and Hodgins sit across the table from a red-headed woman named AMBER KIPPLER.
Amber: My name is Amber Kippler. I'm a senior investigator with Doyley Private Investigations.
Hodgins: Mr. Doyley assured me he'd be taking a personal interest in the search for Ms. Montenegro's husband.
Amber: Interest, yes. But I'll be doing the actual footwork. Mr. Doyley is taking a very personal interest, only not from up close.
Angela: Do you have a lot of experience at this kind of work?
Amber: Angela Montenegro is not your birth name. You changed your name on your 18th birthday because it came to you in a dream.
Angela's jaw drops.
Angela: Um...
Hodgins' eyes widen as he looks at Angela.
Hodgins: You never told me that.
Angela: I never told anybody that.
Amber: If I can discover something nobody knew about a client I'm not being paid to investigate, imagine what I can do for real.
Hodgins: Good point.
Angela: (insisting) I never told anybody about that.
Amber: Yes, you did, actually. A girl named Roxie whose heart you broke in second year art school.
Angela: Oh... (smiles) Roxie.
Angela chuckles.
Hodgins: Wow! (to Amber) What do you know about me?
Amber: Wouldn't it be better if we got to Ms. Montenegro's husband, Grayson "Birimbau" Barasa?
Hodgins: You found something?
Amber: I found the actual human man—in Florida, in the Keys. No Name Key, very remote.
Angela: Did you talk to him?
Amber: Absolutely not.
Hodgins: Why?
Amber: My instructions were to locate. That being achieved, we can now discuss contact.
Hodgins: We want you to contact him.
Angela: And get him to sign the divorce papers.
Amber: By "get him" do you mean...
Amber looks at Hodgins and Angela. Angela and Hodgins look at her as if insisting the rest of the sentence.
Amber (CONT'D): ...force him to sign them?
Hodgins: If necessary, do you have a g*n?
Angela: Or just remind him of who I am and ask him politely.
Hodgins: What are you? Canadian?
Amber: We'll do this one step at a time.
Ext. road - day Booth's SUV is cruising down the road.
Booth (O.S.): Didn't that pastor guy make you mad?
Brennan: No.
INT. BOOTH'S SUV - day Booth He's a fundamentalist.
Brennan: I appreciate consistency.
Booth: Oh what, the consistency of trying to scare kids into Christianity?
Brennan: How do we keep kids from smoking? We tell them it gives them cancer.
Booth: It does give them cancer.
Brennan: According to science.
Booth: You know, that's all you care about is science.
Brennan: In the end, even someone who believes in empiricism and science has to take a leap of faith.
Booth: What?
Brennan: I believe in what I can hear, taste, see, touch and measure. You believe in what you feel. Pastor Jonas believes that God speaks to him through a sacred book.
Booth's cell phone rings.
Booth: Yeah, well, I feel like we're on the wrong side of the argument here.
Booth checks his phone.
Booth (CONT'D): Oh, it's Cam.
Booth puts Cam on speakerphone.
Booth (CONT'D): (to Cam) What's up?
Cam (O.S.): I really need you to come back.
Int. Medico-legal lab / outside brennan's office - day Cam is on the phone and walking.
Cam: I got a couple here, says they think the mummy in the maze is their daughter.
Booth: Oh, that'd save us some time on identification.
Cam: Their daughter only disappeared last week.
Brennan: The remains we found were at least a year old.
Cam: Look, I'm great with corpses, but when it comes to loved ones, let's just say there's a reason why I'm not a pediatrician. So if you got a siren, turn it on.
Booth: Right.
Booth hangs up.
Cam turns around to look at the couple in Brennan's office.
Int. Medico-legal lab / Brennan's Office - day Booth and Brennan are talking to Megan Shaw's parents, DON SHAW and MARGIE SHAW.
CLOSE ON Photo of a red-haired teenager.
Don Shaw (o.S.): Megan is fourteen. She didn't run away.
Margie Shaw (O.s.): Something terrible happened.
Booth: She's a very pretty girl.
Brennan: What makes you think the remains we found are your daughter?
Margie Shaw: The news said that you found the body of a teenage girl in a fun house. I suddenly knew it was Megan.
Brennan: Suddenly knew?
Booth: Mr. and Mrs. Shaw, it wasn't a fun house. It was a maze.
Brennan: And the remains we found are more than a year old.
Margie Shaw: You're certain?
Brennan: Yes.
Don Shaw: Oh, I see.
Angela knocks on the glass pane, gesturing that she wishes to talk with Booth.
Booth: I'm sorry. Excuse me.
Brennan: I don't understand why you're disappointed. Your daughter might still be alive.
Margie Shaw: (her voice breaking) Megan is not still alive.
Angela hands Booth the sketch.
Brennan: How are you so certain?
Margie Shaw: I just am. I can't explain it. I'm her mother.
Booth takes a seat next to Margie and Don. Booth shows them Angela's sketch.
Booth: I'm sorry. Does this face mean anything to you?
Don Shaw: No.
Margie Shaw: Does she have something to do with Megan?
Booth: This is the girl that we found in the maze.
Brennan's phone rings.
Don Shaw: Definitely not Megan.
Margie begins to cry.
Brennan answers her phone.
Brennan: Yes?
Int. Medico-legal lab / cam's office Cam Dr. Brennan, another mummy has been found at Shoreline Amusement Park.
Brennan turns and looks at Booth.
Ext. Shoreline amusement park - night Brennan and Booth quickly make their way through the park.
Brennan: Perhaps the fact that Megan Shaw disappeared from here and there's another mummy here is a coincidence.
Booth: Fact, Bones, there are no coincidences in a m*rder investigation.
Booth flashes his badge to the officer who points them towards the Dungeon of 1000 Corpses.
Brennan: You do know the strict definition of a fact, right? It's not the same as a funny feeling.
Booth: Just because somebody says they saw a mummy doesn't mean they actually did.
Booth and Brennan walk up to a BREATHLESS WOMAN sitting on a gurney accompanied by an EMT, PETE GELLER.
Breathless Woman: I know what I saw.
Geller: Keep the mask on, please, ma'am.
Brennan: What's wrong with her?
Geller: Anxiety att*ck. Brought on by this dungeon here. I spend half my time on these calls.
Brennan: (to the woman) You know it's not real, right? You're overreacting to an excessive amount of stimuli.
Geller: Keep the mask in place, ma'am.
Brennan: Plus, you should lose some weight.
Geller (to Brennan): Um, ma'am?
Booth: Bones, a little compassion.
Breathless woman: I'm not overreacting. There's a dead body in there!
Geller: A thousand of them, to be exact.
Geller turns and motions to the sign.
Close on Sign that indicates DUNGEON OF A 1000 CORPSES BACK TO SCENE Breathless woman There's a real one. I'm a nurse, trust me! I know a dead body when I see one.
Brennan (to Geller): Did you see anything?
Geller: Not much time for that. Just went in, got her, got her out.
Booth leans in, and pulls the oxygen mask away from the woman so she can speak.
Booth: Right. What did you see?
Breathless woman: A corpse. Past the k*ller clown.
Booth lets go of the mask, his eyes wide.
Booth: (in a higher pitch than usual) Clown?
Booth looks at Geller.
Geller: You okay?
Booth: Yeah.
Booth stands up straighter, his posture stiff.
Brennan: You sure?
Booth: Sure.
Brennan: Come on.
Brennan heads to entire the dungeon as Booth points to the breathless woman.
Booth: Clown.
Int. Dungeon of 1000 corpses - night The inside of the dungeon has lights flashing, and a background sound of shrill screams. Booth walks in and stops when he sees the k*ller clown. The clown has wrinkly skin, and long sharp teeth.
Brennan enters behind him.
Brennan: What's wrong?
Booth jumps and squeals. He pulls out his phone.
Booth: Um... the phone rang. It's Cam on the phone. It's ringing.
Brennan: Coulrophobia.
Booth: Euh?
Brennan: The fear of clowns. Coulrophobia. May explain why you sh*t that clown last year.
Booth: Look, I have no problems with clowns. I can stand right here. See?
Brennan: Uh-huh...
Booth answers the call.
Booth: On the phone.
(brings the phone to his ear)
Booth.
Int. Medico-legal lab / cam's office Cam is on the phone with Booth.
Cam: We got an ID on our maze victim off of Angela's sketch.
Booth: Great. Uh, details to follow.
Booth pulls the phone away from his ear, except Cam continues.
Cam: I think you want to hear this now. Name's Stella Higgins, fifteen years old, disappeared a year ago today.
Brennan: What's she saying?
While on the phone, Booth is obviously uncomfortable with the clown. Booth keeps looking back to it as if expecting it to come alive.
Booth: (to Brennan) ID and date of disappearance of our maze victim.
Cam: Stella was last seen at Shoreline Amusement Park.
Booth: Wow!
Brennan: What wow?
Booth: More coincidences. (to Cam) Uh.. Thanks!
Booth hangs up the phone.
Booth (CONT'D): The maze victim disappeared from here. So we just go right past the clown. I can walk right past the clown, like she said. Just right...
Booth begins to walk past the clown, just as he is facing the clown, the clown begins to rotate and the clown's arm nearly touches Booth. Booth dodges the clown's arm as he lets out a scream.
Booth and Brennan continue through the dungeon.
Brennan: t*rture dungeon.
Brennan imitates the "evil laughter" coming from the speakers.
Booth: Yeah, okay. Clown, scary. Not you.
Booth and Brennan enter the t*rture chamber and begin to look through the various dummy corpses.
Booth scoffs.
Booth (CONT'D): Oh, gee! You're kidding me, right?
Booth points to a mannequin strapped to a t*rture chair.
Booth (CONT'D): Look at the eye, uh? It's a Ping-Pong ball.
Brennan walks up to a pile of corpses, and looks at one in particular.
Brennan: Not this one.
Booth: How do you know?
Brennan: Human remains, Booth, it's sort of my speciality. This is a dead person.
End of act I Act II Int. Medico-legal lab / examination area Zack is examining the most recent victim when Cam walks across the platform towards him.
Cam: Okay, the first thing Booth needs to know is if this is Megan Shaw.
Zack: It is not Megan Shaw.
Cam: I agree. It would be impossible to mummify a body like this in just a little more than a week.
Zack: Dental records do not match.
Zack begins to examine the victim's hand.
Cam: Lacquer and cedar oil. Looks like the same m*rder*r.
Zack: That's leaping to a conclusion.
Cam: I said looks like, Zack. Looks like is not leaping.
Zack: Her phalanges, fingers, are broken. Metacarpals... cracked.
Cam: You've seen something like this before?
Zack: In Iraq, there were some remains. They'd been buried alive.
Cam: This person was buried alive?
Zack: (hesitantly) I'm not comfortable...
Cam: It looks like this person was buried alive, correct?
Angela interrupts them. She puts up a picture of a dark haired girl with a tattoo. She clips a second picture up underneath it, of a bird tattoo.
Angela: The tattoo on the second victim's shoulder matches that of Judith Suzanne Evans. Sixteen when she went missing.
Cam: How long ago?
Angela: Two years, almost to the day.
Cam: From?
Angela: Shoreline Amusement Park. She was there with her big sister and a couple of her friends.
Hodgins walks in holding a case file.
Hodgins: Skin and hair removed from beneath Stella's fingernails turns out to be her own. Also, the lacquer used on both victims is completely generic. It's widely available.
Zack: She pulled out her own hair?
Angela: What makes somebody do that?
Cam turns around and fiddles with the computer.
Cam: There are small puncture marks, hundreds of them, all over her body. Like insect bites, but larger.
CLOSE ON Computer screen; zoomed onto the victim's skin. Small puncture marks can be seen all over.
BACK TO SCENE Hodgins In both cases, the lacquer was infused with a number of particulates including a spore I'm trying to identify.
Cam addresses Zack.
Cam: Are you ready to admit that it looks like both these girls were k*lled and mummified by the same person?
Zack: I'm not prepared to...
Cam/Angela/Hodgins: ... jump to that conclusion?
Zack nods in agreement.
Ext. Shoreline amusement park / dungeon of a 1000 corpses - night Booth gathered all the employees of the Dungeon and the manager. Among the employees there's a man wearing the same grim reaper costume from the maze.
Manager: Come on. You expect me to know when one body appeared in a pile of bodies? That's not reasonable.
Booth: An actual genuine corpse appears, and you don't notice?
Manager: The place is called Dungeon of a 1000 Corpses.
Booth: Which is why an entire FBI forensics team is sweeping this facility.
The camera pans over a GOTH GIRL with several piercings named LOLA.
Lola: This hole counts as a facility?
Booth notices the grim reaper.
Booth: I know you.
Grim Reaper: No.
Booth: Yeah. You were at the maze the other night. Same costume.
Grim Reaper: Oh... yeah.
Booth: Yeah. You're just recalling that, huh? What's your name?
Grim Reaper: Gregg.
Booth: Little hint. FBI asks for your name, you give the whole name.
Manager: His name's Gregg Liscombe. He's worked here three years. You're not supposed to wear the costume to other gigs, dude. Dilutes the effect.
An FBI forensic tech arrives.
Forensic Tech: All the other bodies are fakes, Agent Booth.
Booth: Okay, we'll just keep the entire fun house as a crime scene.
Forensic Tech: Yes, sir.
The FBI forensic tech leaves.
Manager: In that case, can I send my people home?
Booth: Oh, no, all your people have got to talk to my people.
(to Gregg)
And you're coming with me.
Gregg: Why?
Booth: Two places with dead bodies, and you're standing in the doorway dressed as the Grim Reaper.
Gregg: It's my job, man. It's not like I adopt the persona.
Lola: Don't say anything without a lawyer, Gregg.
Manager: Tell you what else, Gregg's got the keys to the place.
Lola: Shut up, Dan!
(steps forward)
He's got keys, too and so does cleaning crew and park security.
Booth: Wow, how about you? You got keys?
Lola: I got nothing else to say without a laywer present.
Booth: Okay, that's great, pincushion, 'cause you were practically invisible until now. Now you're bucking as number one suspect.
Lola rolls her eyes at Booth.
Int. Medico-legal lab / EXAMINATION AREA - day Cam, Brennan and Zack are on the platform looking at their latest victim's photograph. The two mummies are on separate tables on the platform.
Brennan: Judith Evans, age 16, our victim from the Dungeon of 1,000 Corpses.
Zack explains his findings with the help of x-rays.
Zack: I've identified stress fractures to both tibias, as well as tears to the medial collateral and anterior cruciate ligaments in both knees.
Brennan: Catcher's knee.
Cam: There's nothing in the bio about Judith Evans being a baseball player.
Zack: Compressions to vertebrae C1 through C7 indicate that her neck was bent like this.
Zack demonstrates by showing how her neck must have been bent.
Brennan: But forced.
Cam: I am not liking the picture that's forming inside my head. Phalanges cracked, and her fingernails shredded, her head forced that way, her knees jammed up against her chest. Do we think Judith Evans was buried alive?
Hodgins enters the platform.
Hodgins: I... uh... I have... another bad image of how Stella Higgins d*ed.
Brennan: Spiders?
Hodgins: Tarantulas, to be specific.
Cam: Poisonous spiders?
Hodgins places a slide under a microscope and brings it up on the computer monitor as he explains.
Hodgins: That's a common misconception, though the lack of poison doesn't make the bite any less painful. This is an urticating hair from the Theraphosinae family.
Zack: It appears to be barbed.
Hodgins: Yeah. It's very irritating. Hey, little-known fact: tarantula hair was the main ingredient in itching powder for decades.
Zack: Is there any correlation between these hairs and the fact that Stella Higgins scratched herself so badly, and pulled out her own hair?
Cam: She's bitten all over. There had to be dozens of tarantulas on her so, yeah, there's a correlation.
Hodgins: I was operating under the assumption that the mysterious spore was transported by the tarantula, but I was wrong.
Brennan: How do you know?
Hodgins: Because there's no tarantula hairs on Judith Evans, but plenty of the spores and particulates. She has carcinogenic dibenzopyrene isomers, asbestos, polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons, manganese and barium and steel dust.
Cam: Which adds up to?
Zack: Internal combustion engines.
Hodgins: Traffic, except for the steel dust. I have no clue about the steel dust.
Cam walks over to the computer while discussing about the tox screens, and brings up both tox screens on the computer monitor for comparison.
Cam: Well, Stella's tox results show chloroform, ephedrine, theophylline, clonydine and methamphetamine.
Close on Computer screen with the victims tox screens.
BACK TO SCENE
CAM (CONT'D): Judith's remains show trace evidences of the same compounds, but in different concentrations.
Brennan: Ephedrine is synthetic adrenaline.
Hodgins: Most of those are heavy stimulants.
Zack: Their metabolisms would race. Heart rates would accelerate dangerously.
Cam: Spiders, live burial, drug-induced panic... is our m*rder*r literally scaring girls to death?
INT. FBI BUREAU / BOOTH'S OFFICE Booth is talking with a young woman. SANDY EVANS, Judith's sister.
Sandy: I always felt, somehow, that Judy was still alive, even after two years. It's crazy, huh? Probably guilt, right? For letting my little sister out of my sight?
Booth: Look, you can't blame yourself.
Sandy: Did my sister suffer?
Booth remains silent, not answering the question.
Booth: You know, we got the best people in the world figuring out exactly what happened that night.
Booth circles his desk, and takes a seat behind it. He goes through the case file.
Booth (CONT'D): So, you and your sister went to the amusement park together?
Sandy: It's kind of the thing to do on Halloween. My mom made me take her. I didn't want to. I mean, I loved Judy...
Booth: But she was your kid sister, pain in the ass.
Sandy: She made me take Judy, even though I didn't want to, and Mom never got over that.
Booth: How did you and Judy get separated?
Sandy: Judy got scared. She didn't want to go in the fun house.
Booth: Why?
Sandy: There was this huge monster above the door. Judy freaked. She said go ahead, she'd wait outside. Judy was claustrophobic.
Booth: How bad?
Sandy: Pretty bad. She wigged out when we were driving down. There were six of us jammed in a car. We had to stop and let her out a couple times.
Booth: Do you remember if there was a Grim Reaper that night at the entrance?
Sandy: Yeah, there was.
Booth walks around his desk, sits next to Sandy and shows her Gregg's photo.
Booth: Could that be him?
Sandy takes the photo of Gregg.
Sandy: Yeah. When we came out looking for Judy, he told us she had taken off with some guy.
Booth: The police could never confirm that.
Int. Fbi bureau / interROGATION ROOM Booth slams a mugshot of Gregg down on the interrogation table.
Booth: Registered sex offender. He was present at two places where the remains of young girls were found.
Booth and Brennan are questioning Gregg.
Gregg: Coincidence.
Brennan: Statistically improbable.
Booth: Scientifically improbable but, in the real world, impossible.
Brennan: Do you recognize these two girls?
Brennan places two photographs, one of Judith Evans, and one of Stella Higgins on the table infront of Gregg.
Gregg: Man, every girl that comes in there talks to me. I don't remember them.
Brennan: Why does every girl talk to you?
Gregg: Cause I'm cute, scary.
Booth: Yeah, you do pretty well with the teenage girls, don't you, Gregory? You get them all tingly?
Gregg: All right, that sex offender thing? It's a joke, man. Look it up. I got drunk, and I took a leak in a public fountain.
Brennan: Yeah, we did look it up. There was a group of school girls on the other side of that fountain.
Booth: Four times, you've been caught with your pants down, all around teenage girls. Coincidence? (points to Judith Evans photograph) Two years ago, you told this girl's sister that she took off with some guy.
Brennan: Do you remember her?
Gregg: Yeah, sure. It's the girl that disappeared.
Booth: The thing about you guys, you're all the same. You sniff each other out. Who was the guy?
Gregg doesn't say anything.
Brennan: Judith Evans disappeared October 24th, two years ago. Stella Higgins, one year ago, a week before Halloween.
Gregg: So?
Brennan adds a third photo, Megan Shaw.
Brennan: So, Megan Shaw vanished from the same place.
Booth: You can see the common element here, can't you, Gregg? You.
Gregg: Coincidence.
Brennan: There are no coincidences in a m*rder investigation.
Gregg: Well, it's got nothing to do with me.
Booth slaps Gregg up the side of the head.
Gregg (CONT'D): Ow! Geez, you can't... Did you see that?
Brennan doesn't stop Booth from slapping Gregg upside the head again. Booth grabs Gregg by the shoulder and forces him to look at the photographs.
Booth: Hey! Megan Shaw was 14 years old. Understand me? Who was the guy?
Brennan looks at Booth, then slaps Gregg.
Booth (CONT'D): Good sh*t, Bones.
Brennan: (smiles) Thanks.
Gregg: There was no guy! It was Lola.
Booth: Lola? The girl with the piercings?
Gregg: Yeah.
Booth: What the hell were you doing with her?
Gregg: It's not what you think. The girls come with me, maybe we get it on a little. Lola likes that.
Brennan: Your girlfriend likes to see you with little girls?
Gregg: She likes to interrupt. You know, maybe smack them around a little.
Booth: Smack around?
Gregg: Yeah. It gets Lola hot, for us, for later. Sometimes, maybe she goes a little too far.
Booth and Brennan exchange a look.
End of act II
Act III Int. Medico-legal lab / angelA'S OFFICE Angela and Hodgins follow Amber Kippler into Angela's office.
Hodgins: How did you get to and from a remote, nameless Florida key so fast?
Amber: It does have a name. Its name is No Name Key. Your confusion is natural.
Amber takes a seat on one of the couch. Hodgins and Angela sit opposite of her.
Angela: Uh, did you talk to my husband?
Amber: Mr. Barasa was very pleasant, very pleasant. I mean, wow! He smelled exactly like a fresh wind just after a summer storm.
Hodgins: You smelled him?
Amber: Part of the private investigator credo, Dr. Hodgins, insure that the client, that's you.
Amber looks to Angela.
Angela: ... and him.
Angela motions to Hodgins.
Hodgins: I'm paying.
Amber: The credo says make sure the client is committed to their objective at each step, ergo, fresh wind after summer storm reminder.
Angela: Despite the storm, I want a divorce.
Amber: In that case, the news is disappointing. Mr. Barasa was nice, but adamant, no divorce.
Hodgins: Was it because he doesn't remember getting married?
Amber: Mr. Barasa totally remembers everything. He built this for you.
Amber pulls a folder out of her briefcase, and hands Angela a photograph.
Amber (CONT'D): A house.
Hodgins looks from Amber to Angela. He leans back and looks at the photograph.
Hodgins: A shack!
Amber: A whimsical cottage.
Angela: It's darling. He built a house? For me?
Hodgins: Okay, let's be honest. It's a shanty.
Amber: Here's what Mr. Barasa said 100% verbatim, word for word.
Hodgins: Verbatim means word for word.
Amber: What?
Hodgins: You sort of said it twice.
Angela: Hodgins.
Amber: I quote literally to the letter, Ever has it been that love does not know its own depth until the pain of separation?
Hodgins: Wow. The guy writes poetry.
Angela: (rolls her eyes) Please.
Amber: He was talking about you, Ms. Montenegro, with tears in his eyes.
Angela: He should get a grip.
Amber picks up her things, and stands up.
Amber: What would you like me to do next?
Hodgins: What are you gonna do here, Ange? This guy built you a house. He cried a little bit.
Amber: He smelled like a fresh wind after a summer storm, and you can practically see the lights of Havana from the porch of that cottage.
Angela stands up and crosses her arms.
Angela: I want a divorce. If I'm gonna shack up with anybody, it's this guy.
Hodgins stands up, and surpresses a smile. He looks to Amber.
Hodgins: We're gonna discuss this between ourselves, Miss Kippler. I'll let you know how we want to proceed.
Amber: Okay.
Amber begins to leave, but turns around before exiting.
AMBER (CONT'D): Did I mention he's the most beautiful man I've ever seen? Don't blame me. PI code: Keep it real.
Amber leaves, and Hodgins scoffs.
Int. Fbi bureau Booth and Brennan exit Booth's office, and walk past several desks.
Booth: That girl Lola gets off on inflicting pain.
Brennan: Were you gonna hit her, too?
Booth: No, not with a closed fist.
Brennan: Why?
Booth: Why? That leaves a mark.
A SHORT STUBBY MAN walks up to Booth and Brennan.
Burns: Agent Booth.
Booth: Yeah?
BURNs Spoke with the Shaws. Asked if their daughter had any specific phobias.
Booth: Yeah?
Burns: Snakes.
Booth: Snakes.
Burns: One crawled up out of the drain of her bathtub when she was a child. So since then...
Booth: Okay, that's good. Just call all the pet shops, the reptile specialists... I don't know, the World of Snakes, and see who's been buying 'em all up.
Burns stops walking, and then goes back on his tracks to do what Booth instructed him to.
Booth and Brennan head towards the elevators.
Brennan: Does Lola strike you as a snake person?
Booth: Look, I'll deal with Lola. You go back to the lab.
Brennan: Why? (presses the elevator button) I won't hit her unless you say so.
Booth and Brennan walk into the elevator.
Booth: Look, I'll do my street thing, you do your lab thing, all right? (presses the button) Together, we catch bad guys. That's good math.
Booth sighs. Brennan gives Booth a sideways glance as the doors shut.
Int. Medico-legal lab / EXAMINATION AREA Hodgins, dressed as the Captain of the Titanic, looks through a microscope. Cam, dressed as Catwoman, peers over his shoulder.
Cam: The lacquer holds tarantula hairs, your mystery spores and particulates, which suggests heavy traffic.
Hodgins: I'm aware of the parameters. I told you all that stuff.
Cam: I'm thinking aloud. It's a technique.
Brennan walks up to them. She isn't dressed in her costume yet.
Brennan: Are you concentrating on the spores?
Hodgins looks through his scope, slowly getting annoyed.
Hodgins: Yes, I'm looking at them now.
Cam: He's aware of the parameters.
Brennan: And the unexplained source of the steel dust?
Hodgins pries himself away from the scope.
Hodgins: What I'd like is to look up from this microscope in about... hm... ten seconds and find myself totally alone and able to concentrate.
Cam and Brennan take a couple of steps away from him, and patiently wait.
Hodgins resumes his examination through the scope.
HODGINS (CONT'D): Oh, not nearly far enough. Not even close.
Brennan and Cam move to the far end of the platform. Brennan looks at Cam.
Brennan: Is that your costume?
Cam: Uh, yeah.
Brennan: It's sexually alluring.
Cam: Thank you. I'm Catwoman.
Brennan looks at her blankly.
Cam (CONT'D): ... the superhero.
Brennan: Oh!
Cam: One of the most powerful female superhero figures.
Brennan: (scoffs) I don't think so.
Cam: Are you kidding? Catwoman?
Brennan: Can you fly?
Cam: I have nine lives.
Brennan: Super strength, super speed, force people to tell the truth?
Cam: I think I'm pretty fast.
Brennan: Pretty fast is not super speed.
Hodgins walks up to them and rips off his gloves, in doing so interrupts their argument by catching their attention.
Hodgins: Hawaii.
Cam: Hawaii?
Hodgins: The spore is Atronecium from the Haleahi Nebulae. It's a Hawaiian orchid hybrid.
Brennan: The victims were mummified in Hawaii?
Hodgins: How else would Hawaiian pollen get absorbed into the wet lacquer?
Cam nods.
Int. Shoreline amusement park / DUNGEON OF 1000 CORPSES - night CLOSE ON Sign : Dungeon of a 1000 Corpses BACK TO SCENE Booth walks up to Lola.
Lola is fixing a display.
Booth: Lola. Remember me?
Booth flashes his badge.
Lola: Not one word passes through these lips without a lawyer's okay.
Booth: Right, and if you can't afford one, which is my guess, one will be provided. Probably a crappy one who studied law on the Internet.
Lola: What do you want?
Booth: You att*cked both of those two dead girls.
Lola: Oh... Did Gregg tell you that?
Booth: Yeah, and this one, too.
Booth pulls a photo of Megan from his pocket and shows it to Lola.
Lola: I didn't k*ll anyone.
Booth: That's right. It was Gregg who forced you to do that. You know what? If you don't tell me what I need to know in two seconds, I'm gonna start removing your piercings and I'm not gonna start with the ones on your face.
Lola: Look, I roughed 'em up, all right?
Booth: Oh?
Lola: That's it! I was gone. I was out of there, man! Why do you think I'm never charged?
Booth begins to handcuff Lola.
Booth: Yeah, okay.
Lola: I'm gone, man!
Booth: Just remember, Maryland and Virginia both have the death penalties. Keep that in mind before we find Megan's body. Let's go.
Lola: These are really tight, man!
Booth escorts Lola out of the Dungeon.
Ext. Washington - night
Brennan (V.o.): Don't you have to put on your costume?
Booth (v.o.): I already did.
Int. Medico-legal lab - night Booth holds up a case folder.
Booth: I got of the k*ller from Sweets.
Booth is dressed up as a nerd squint. He wears a clean buttoned up shirt, with a Jeffersonian labcoat over top. He has dark thick rimmed glasses with white tape in the middle.
BRENNAN (o.s.): You mean Dr. Sweets.
ZOOM OUT Booth's complete assemble is finished off by the beige pants that are way to short for him and the ginormous calculator tucked into his belt.
Booth: Well, it's only theory, Bones. I mean, it's what he's best at. I mean, he's only twelve. Sweets says the k*ller is definitely a male.
BRENNAN (o.s.): Gregg is a male.
Booth: No, Gregg and Lola work their sick little thing together. (reads the file) Sweets says that the k*ller works alone and has a respectable blue-collar job. In his public life, he's into saving people, he's unmarried. Oh, he has a police or m*llitary background.
Brennan steps out dressed as Wonder Woman.
Brennan: You do realize that Sweets is describing you, right?
Booth turns around and sees Brennan.
Booth: Wow!
Brennan: How do I look?
Booth: Good. Wonder-ful. Get it?
Brennan: Yeah.
Booth: 'Cause you're Wonder Woman.
Brennan: I know. What are you supposed to be?
Booth: Oh, I'm a nerd squint.
Booth leans over, and pushes his glasses up. He pulls out his big calculator and pushes a few buttons.
BOOTH (CONT'D): (nasal voice) You see, what is the rationale behind that conclusion?
Brennan heads towards the platform. Booth follows.
Brennan: That's not what they look or sound like.
Booth: (nasal voice) You mean "we." That's not what 'we' look or sound like.
Brennan: Okay.
Booth: You see what I did right there? I corrected you, you know, in character... (laughs) ... as a squint!
Brennan and Booth meet up with Zack. Zack is dressed up as the back end of a cow.
Zack: Angela and Hodgins have a few things to show us before we go to the party.
Zack stares at Booth.
Booth: What?
Zack doesn't answer Booth. Brennan and Zack turn and enter Angela's office.
BOOTH (CONT'D): What?
Int. Medico-legal lab / angela's office / imaging unit - continUOUS CLOSE ON The monitor indicates a location marked by a star.
Angela (v.o.): This marks the location of Shoreline Amusement Park.
Blinking yellow triangles appear on the map
ANGELA (CONT'D): These are the locations of three pet shops the FBI says sold out of snakes in the last week.
Angela is dressed up as Cher with a large shimmering, feathery, black headgear. She's clad in skimpy black outfit. She explains her findings to Cam, Zack, Brennan and Booth. Booth plays with his calculator as he listens.
Brennan: How many snakes in total?
Angela: Over a hundred.
Cam: Let me guess, they all paid cash?
Angela: Yep.
Cam removes her Catwoman mask.
ANGELA (CONT'D): And the last place sold out about an hour ago.
Booth: Whoa. An hour ago?
Booth takes off his glasses.
Brennan: Booth, Megan Shaw is still alive!
Booth: Wait a second. Both Gregg Liscombe and Lola are in custody. Sweets was right. They didn't do it.
Cam shouts out the door.
Cam: Hodgins! (to the others) Hodgins has been isolating locations where the dead girls could have been exposed to the metal particulates he found in the lacquer.
Booth: Okay, how many?
Cam: One hundred and twenty-six, not including Hawaii.
Booth: (shaking his head) No, one hundred and twenty six, that's not good enough.
Hodgins walks into Angela's office.
Brennan: Megan Shaw's still alive.
Hodgins: What do you want me to do?
Zack: He wants us to guess.
Hodgins: Well, my guess is Hawaii.
Cam shakes her head.
Cam: Not Hawaii.
Booth steps up to Hosgins BOOTH Well guess again, but better.
Hodgins: No, sorry.
Angela: Booth, they don't guess.
Booth: (turns to Angela) Who's they?
Cam and Angela both point to Zack, Brennan and Hodgins. cam / angela Them!
Booth: Well, that's just stupid.
Zack: We do not guess.
Booth: You know what? You're a horse's ass.
Zack: Cow. I'm a cow. See my udder.
Brennan: I need Zack and Hodgins. The rest of you can go to the party.
Booth: How can we go to a party when a 14-year-old girl's being tortured to death by snakes?
Brennan: People like us can't work at full capacity with people like you constantly interrupting with irrelevancies.
Hodgins: (softly) It's true. (to Angela) I love you, but it's true.
Angela nods.
Cam: Okay, we're out of here.
Angela: This is my office.
Cam: Let's go, Cher.
Cam looks at Angela as she heads for the door.
Booth: Okay, well, I'll tell you what. I'll just sit right over here in this chair and I'll wait.
Booth sits in a nearby chair. He crosses his arms over his chest.
Brennan: Booth, no!
Brennan rests her hands on her hips.
Booth: Fine. (stands up) I'll wait outside, okay? With this chair. (grabs up the chair) I'll be outside with this chair.
Booth walks out of the office with his chair.
Once everyone left the room, Hodgins turns to face the others.
Booth sits outside the office door. He faces them, intending to wait.
Zack is at the computer while Hodgins and Brennan watch over his shoulder.
Zack: I'm worried that Naomi from Paleontology will feel strange being only the front half of a cow.
Hodgins: She got the good end of that deal.
Hodgins takes off his captain hat, as he sets himself infront of a computer.
Brennan: Who's stronger, Catwoman or Wonder Woman?
Hodgins / Zack: Wonder Woman.
Brennan: I concur vehemently.
Hodgins: All right, now, ignoring the Hawaiian pollen, these 126 sites represent loci where the necessary concentrations of particulates can be found: underground garages, tunnels, etc.
Brennan: Dr. Sweets says we can assume that the m*rder*r works for a living.
Hodgins: You want us to go on psychology?
Brennan: Let's assume the k*ller has to get back and forth from his...
Zack: In comic books, it's always called a lair.
Brennan: ... from his lair in time for his job, sometimes during high traffic hours. Can you remove the sites which make that improbable?
Zack: Assuming he needs to sleep.
Hodgins: Say, six hours a night.
Brennan: Twelve-hour shift.
Zack: Leaving six hours for travel and t*rture.
Hodgins: At a maximum of two hours travel time. So, what, remove everything more than a hundred miles away?
Zack: Too simplistic. If it's on a highway, it could be up to 120 miles away. Secondary roads, taking traffic patterns into account, less than 50. Depending on the time of day and weather conditions...
Brennan: It'll go faster if you do the calculations in your head, Zack, and don't explain it to us.
Zack: Thank you.
Zack begins to mentally calculate the possibilities. He works on the computer, and then it beeps. He's narrowed it down.
Hodgins: How many does that leave?
Zack: Thirty-one.
Hodgins: No. No way the police can hit all those, not spread thin on Halloween.
Brennan: We can narrow it down further. Factor, mummification.
Zack: Yes, particulates plus mummification requires...
Brennan: A steady, continuous supply of dry air.
Hodgins: A large oven with blowers.
Brennan: I'd like to assume that the automotive particulates arrived with the blowing air.
Hodgins: Heated underground parking lots.
Zack: How is that not guessing?
Brennan: Einstein referred to such assumptions as acceptable "intuitive leaps."
Zack: I acknowledge Einstein as a scientific authority.
Zack turns back to the computer to continue his calculations and to factor in the new particulates. Hodgins watches him work.
Zack: (CONT'd) (sighs) But he failed us this time.
Brennan: The answer is in the anomalies.
Hodgins: (mutters) The Hawaiian spore.
Brennan: And steel dust. What makes it?
Hodgins: Grinding, drilling, abrading.
Zack: Scraping, milling.
Hodgins: Train wheels.
Hodgins looks at Zack and Brennan.
Hodgins: (CONT'D) Okay, intuitive leap. When a train turns, it grinds the rails, creates a steel dust.
Brennan: Subways which also provide warm, dry air. They're vented. Okay. What we need now are florists who carry Hodgins' Hawaiian flower which are situated directly over subway tracks.
Brennan turns to leave.
Hodgins: Wow.
Hodgins turns to watch Zack, notices Brennan leaving.
Hodgins: (CONT'D) (to Brennan) Hey, where you going?
Brennan: To get Booth. Call me when you find the florist.
Brennan leaves. Hodgins turns to exchange looks with Zack.
End of act III Act IV
EXT. STREET STOCK – NIGHT Booth's SUV.
BOOTH (v.o.): You're sure about this?
INT. BOOTH'S SUV - NIGHT Booth is driving.
Brennan: Not at all.
Booth: Because you guessed.
Brennan: But we do not guess.
Booth: I think you did. I dare you to put that lasso of truth around you.
Brennan: Now you're being completely irrational. This lasso doesn't actually work. These bracelets aren't actually made of Amazonium. They're stainless steel. They can't stop a b*llet.
Brennan's phone rings.
Booth: Oh-kay.
She answers it on speakerphone.
Brennan: Brennan.
Cam (o.s.): Aloha Floral Supply between Friendship Heights and Bethesda.
INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB / ANGELA'S OFFICE Angela grabs the phone from Cam.
Angela: The store sits right over the Red Line.
Brennan: Thank you.
She hangs up. Booth is on the radio frequency walkie talkie.
Booth: Dispatch, 22-7-0-5.
Dispatch (man): Twenty-two 7-0-5, Dispatch.
Booth: Twenty-two 7-0-5 requests backup and local units at Aloha Flowers between Friendship Heights and Bethesda.
Brennan tugs on his shirt.
Booth (CONT'D): Oh. Please be advised that agents are UC dressed as a Squint and Wonder Woman.
Dispatch (man): Repeat, 22705.
Booth: Just picture a scientist nerd brainiac dweeb, dork, whatever.
Brennan: And Wonder Woman.
Booth: And Wonder Woman.
Dispatch (man): Acknowledge, 227-11.
EXT. ROAD – NIGHT Booth's SUV.
EXT. ALOHA FLORAL SUPPLY – NIGHT
Booth (v.o.): (groans) Aahh. It's closed.
Booth pulls the SUV up to the front, and parks it. Booth and Brennan exit the SUV.
Booth (CONT'D): Go around the back.
They go around the side of the building, and stop at a padlocked vent.
Brennan: Dry air.
Booth: Subway. Florist. Okay, stand back.
Brennan steps back, as Booth sh**t the lock.
INT. BASEMENT – NIGHT – CONTINUOUS Booth and Brennan climb down the ladder into the basement. They look around and come to gate padlocked shut with a gain. Brennan cocks her big g*n.
Booth: Okay, where did you even find a place to carry that?
She pushes him toward the padlocked and chained wire gate door.
Brennan: Look, could I please sh**t this one?
Booth tugs on the chain and the padlock falls off. He opens the gate. They both enter the subway access area. Booth leads. Brennan follows. A train passes near them. Brennan notices an open door off to the side.
Brennan (CONT'D): Booth?
Brennan walks up the short stairs and enters the room.
INT. SUBWAY ACCESS AREA / t*rture ROOM Inside the room Booth and Brennan come across a worktable, several empty vials and syringes. Brennan smells the table.
Brennan: Cedar oil, lacquer. This is where the k*ller mummified the bodies.
Booth looks at the empty vials on the floor.
Booth: Ephedrine, other... other dr*gs.
Booth realizes who the m*rder is.
Booth (CONT'D): I know who the m*rder*r is.
Brennan: Who?
Booth hears footsteps and looks up.
Booth: Let's get out of here.
Booth rushes out of the room. Brennan follows.
INT. SUBWAY ACCESS AREA – NIGHT BOOTH Lola beats up the girls, leaves them bleeding. Who shows up to help? Access to dr*gs.
Brennan: The EMT. Smart. You should wear a lab coat at all times.
Booth: Puts them in the back of his ambulance, he knocks them unconscious.
A girl's scream can be heard.
Booth (CONT'D): Just stay there.
Booth reaches for the padlock on the door. It's locked. The girl screams again.
Booth (CONT'D)
Screams are coming from inside.
Brennan: Can I sh**t it?
Booth: No!
Brennan fires at the padlock! The b*llet bounces off the lock and hits Booth. He yells, hoping up and down as he clutches his leg.
Booth (CONT'D): Yow! Geez!
Brennan: Oh! Sorry! Sorry, Booth!
Booth: You sh*t me! Damn it! I said no! Don't sh**t! No!
Brennan: Are you all right? I think the b*llet bounced off my bracelet. Just like Amazonium.
Booth: Geez, Bones.
Booth clutches his leg. Brennan takes the padlock off and opens the door. The floor is littered with snakes . Brennan screams as she jumps up on the nearby box.
Booth (CONT'D): What are you doing? They're not poisonous.
Brennan: I know. I know.
Booth: Then why don't you come down?
Brennan: It seems I'm not completely in control of my actions.
Booth turns and offers his back to her.
Booth: Just get on my back.
Brennan climbs onto his back. Piggy back style.
Booth (CONT'D): (groans) Ooh! God, Bones.
Booth, with Brennan on his back, enters the room.
INT. SUBWAY ACCESS AREA / SNAKE ROOM - NIGHT BOOTH Ow.
Megan Shaw is in a far corner, attempting to stay away from the snakes. She's terrified.
BOOTH (CONT'D): Megan?
Brennan: It's okay.
Booth: Can you understand me?
Booth and Brennan approach Megan. Megan looks up and screams. Brennan glances over her shoulders and sees a k*ller CLOWN in the doorway. He cocks his shotgun. Brennan raises her g*n and sh**t. The sh*t hits the door as clown ducks back from the doorway. The backfire causes Booth to drop Brennan. Brennan falls back and hits her head against the wall.
Brennan: Ugh! My head.
Booth: Just stop sh**ting at things, Bones.
Booth heads out of the room to chase after the clown.
Brennan: But, he had a g*n!
Booth: You stay here. Anyone comes through that door, you sh**t their heads off—except me.
Brennan lifts her g*n up towards Booth.
Brennan: My g*n is too big for me.
Booth: I could've told you that a hundred times. Here, take mine.
Booth exchanges g*ns with Brennan.
Booth (CONT'D): Guard Megan.
Booth heads towards the exit, his g*n raised. Brennan reaches out towards Megan.
Brennan: Come on, Megan. Come here.
Megan and Brennan huddle in the corner.
INT. SUBWAY ACCESS AREA / NIGHT Booth carefully and slowly leaves the room. Booth walks away from the room, searching for the k*ller clown. Both travels along the wall, his back to it, and his g*n raised. Booth stops and hears the clown jump down from above. The clown cocks his g*n. Booth turns around. The clown fires, misses , hitting the concrete near Booth. Booth ducks and fires.
Inside the room, the sh*ts can be heard. Megan whimpers.
Brennan: It's okay.
Booth turns and leans against the wall. Booth reaches for and holds his waist. The k*ller clown rushes forward.
Booth: Damn it.
Booth checks his side and he's been hit and is bleeding. The clown looks around the corner. Booth sees him and fires. Booth moves. The k*ller clown steps out and fires at Booth. The clown takes his mask off, the k*ller clown is EMT Pete Geller.
Booth (CONT'D): How could a guy with m*llitary training miss with a scattergun? What were you, Navy?
Geller removes the shells from his shotgun.
Geller: Infantry.
Geller drops the shells on the floor as he reloads his g*n. Inside the room, Megan whimpers. Brennan silences her.
Brennan: Okay.
Geller: Which is how I know you're carrying the 50-caliber 500. Well, that's five sh*ts. (cocks his g*n.) And by my count... (snaps the g*n.) ... you only got one sh*t left.
Geller steps out and fires.
Booth checks his g*n and groans.
Geller: (CONT'D) That's one dumbass g*n to bring to a sh**t! (taunts) Where's your backup, Booth? Shouldn't they be here by now?
Inside the room, Brennan tries to get Megan to remain silence.
Brennan: You need to be quiet. Can you do that, Megan?
Megan nods. Brennan stands up. Megan and Brennan make their way towards the door.
Outside, Geller hears Megan whimpering. Geller turns his head toward the snake room.
Brennan and Megan reach the door just as Geller turns and fires at the door. His sh*ts hit the door. Brennan and Megan scream.
Booth: Bones, you all right?
Brennan: We're okay. We're okay. He's using you to get to us.
Geller: Not for long, Booth. I'm just gonna stick my scattergun in there and empty the barrels.
Booth picks up an access panel and uses it as a shield as he makes his way back to the snake room.
Geller: (CONT'D) Your girl is gonna look like hamburger.
Geller turns around and fires at Booth, his sh*ts hit the access panel. Booth falls back as he drops the panel. Geller ducks behind the open snake room's door. Booth gets uo. Booth cocks his g*n and aims for Geller BOOTH One sh*t.
Booth fires. The sh*t went right through the metal door and hit Geller. Geller grunts. Geller falls to the floor with a loud thud.
Booth (CONT'D): One hell of a sh*t.
Brennan and Megan finally exit the room. Brennan points her g*n on Geller's motionless body.
Booth (CONT'D): Now can you see why I hate clowns?
EXT. WASHINGTON – NIGHT EXT. JEFFERSONIAN – NIGHT INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB / LOBBY - NIGHT Angela meets up with Amber Kippler.
Angela: Ms. Kippler.
Amber: Wow. Ms. Montenegro, you look amazing. Halloween, right?
Angela: Look, Hodgins and I haven't really decided what we're gonna do next.
Amber: I tried to seduce him, you know.
Angela: Hodgins?
Amber: Ew. No. Your husband. I took off my top and everything.
Angela: Why?
Amber: I've been told I have alabaster skin that's really impossible to resist touching.
Angela: Isn't that some kind of conflict of interest? The PI code?
Amber: On the contrary. I did it totally for you, the client.
Angela: Mm-hmm.
Amber: I was testing your husband with my wiles so that I could properly advise you.
Angela: You are a very dedicated investigator.
Amber: Which is why I have to tell you something I didn't want to say in front of Dr. Hodgkins.
Angela: Hodgins. There's no k.
Amber: Your husband is deeply, deeply in love with you. Also, he has incredible abs and forearms. So what I'm suggesting is that I take you down there, mediate a meeting, and see if any old sparks don't flare back into life.
Angela: I'm in love with Hodgins.
Amber: Now.
Angela: Forever, Ms. Kippler.
Amber: Did I mention the little catch in his throat when he said your name?
Angela: Look, all I want out of him is a divorce, okay? So if you want to see him again and you want to rub your alabaster all over him and shake his snow globes, be my guest. All I want is the divorce.
Angela begins to leave.
Amber: I hear you. I believe you. I just wanted to make sure.
Angela: And please don't ever say "ew" about Hodgins again.
Amber: Beards. I don't like beards. Rspecially in conjunction with huge, blue eyes. Makes me feel like I'm staring into one of those Russian religious icons.
Angela doesn't comment. She turns and leaves. Amber turns . Hodgins is walking towards her.
Amber (CONT'D): Oh, Dr. Hodgkins.
Hodgins: Hod-gins. Were you just talking to Angela?
Amber: Yes. I was telling her that her husband is extremely physically attractive.
Hodgins: Okay. Enough with that now. Quit trying to drive a wedge.
Amber: It's a fact. On a scale of one to ten, he's ten to the tenth power.
Hodgins: What am I?
Amber: You're a solid 7.5, which is quite respectable.
Hodgins: Your job is to help me and Angela to be together.
Amber: Dr. Hodgkins, domestic issues make up the core of our business. And I have to tell you, most of the time they go back.
Hodgins: They go back?
Amber: They go back to their husbands or their wives most of the time. It's a fact.
Hodgins: And you think Angela should go back to her husband?
Amber: I don't have an opinion about should or should not. I'm more interested in will or won't. But in this case, in my opinion. I don't think she's going back to her husband.
Hodgins: Even after you practically threw him at her?
Amber: Exactly. Aren't you glad I did? Now you can sleep like a baby because of my thorough approach.
Hodgins begins to leave. Amber smiles. Hodgins turns back.
Hodgins: Thank you.
Amber: That's right, "thank you."
Hodgins and Amber both leave.
INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB / LOBBY – NIGHT The lab is dark and empty. The doors open.
Booth and Brennan walk into the Jeffersonian.
Brennan: Where is everybody?
Both Brennan and Booth look horrible.
Booth: At the party, I guess.
Brennan: We could still go.
Booth: Ah, we look like hell.
Brennan: It's a Halloween party. We could be Wonder Woman and, what's Superman's secret identity?
Booth pulls his nerdy glasses out of his shirt pocket, and places them on his face.
Booth: Clark Kent.
Brennan: Yes. We could be Wonder Woman and Clark Kent after a really, really bad date.
Brennan takes a seat on the steps.
Booth: Yeah, bad date because you sh*t me.
Brennan: It was only a flesh wound. And you dropped me on my head.
Booth: After you sh*t me. Okay, I think I got you on this one. Okay, Wonder Woman?
Booth removes his glasses and takes a seat next to Brennan. Booth sighs heavily, and Brennan looks at him.
Brennan: I'm sorry you had to k*ll someone. I know you hate that.
Booth: Yeah, he had it coming.
Brennan: You hate it. I'm sorry that happened to you.
Booth: We saved the girl. That's a pretty good date.
Brennan: Except not really a date.
Booth: I know. It was...
Brennan: ... work. Not a date.
Booth: Really, really hard one.
Brennan: And we're not really Wonder Woman and Clark Kent. We're Brennan and Booth.
Booth: Look, you're the one who brought up the date analogy.
Brennan and Booth share a moment of silence.
Brennan: You hungry?
Booth puts on the nerdy glasses again.
Booth: Yeah.
Brennan: Me, too.
Booth and Brennan get up. Booth leads, and Brennan lags behind.
Booth: Okay, let's go grab a bite to eat.
While Booth heads towards the door, Brennan stops, and begins to spin around in a circle with her arms up at her sides. Booth turns around.
Booth (CONT'D): What the hell are you doing?
Brennan stops spinning.
Brennan: Nothing.
They head out of the Jeffersonian.
End.
03x05 - The Mummy in the Maze
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A forensic anthropologist and a cocky FBI agent build a team to investigate death causes. And quite often, there isn't more to examine than rotten flesh or mere bones.
A forensic anthropologist and a cocky FBI agent build a team to investigate death causes. And quite often, there isn't more to examine than rotten flesh or mere bones.