- Are you ready, kids?
all:
Aye, aye, Captain!
- I can’t hear you.
all:
Aye, aye, Captain!
- ♪ Ohh... ♪
♪ Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? ♪
all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!
- ♪ Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he ♪
all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!
- ♪ If nautical nonsense
be something you wish ♪
all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!
- ♪ Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish ♪
all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- Ready?
all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!
SpongeBob SquarePants!
SpongeBob SquarePants!
- SpongeBob
SquarePants!
[laughing]
♪ ♪
[waves crashing]
- Hey.
- What’s taking so long?
- I never got my fries.
- Why doesn’t my father
love me?
[customers complaining]
- Hey, Squidward.
- Quit it.
- Hey, Squidward.
- Quit it.
- Hey, Squidward.
- Quit it!
- Mr. Squidward, clean up
in the head.
- Hey, Squidward.
- Also, clean up here.
- [whimpering]
- Hey, Squidward.
- I said clean up.
- Squidward!
- Squidward.
- Hey, Squidward.
Hey, Squidward. Hey, Squidward.
Hey, Squidward. Hey, Squidward.
- Squidward!
- Hey, Squidward, Squidward,
hey, Squidward.
- Oh, no...
- Don’t just lay there.
Clean up. Clean up. Clean up!
- Aah!
It was just a dream.
Just a horrible, realistic,
totally on point dream.
Oh, I can’t believe
I’m dreaming about work
when there’s so many
more interesting things
I could be doing.
Just look at
my unfinished painting.
And my unfinished symphony.
And my uneaten strudel.
My strudel!
- Just tasted like pie to me.
- It’s a strudel,
you barbarian.
Just look at those
pastry layers.
- Oh, yeah.
- Ohh...
I just woke up and the day’s
already a disaster.
I can’t face
the Krusty Krab today.
I am staying home and diving
into an ocean of Squidward.
[jungle sounds]
[humming]
Ahh...
What the--
Oh--
[muttering]
- Any more of that layer pie?
- Get out!
Now to get rid of
the other monkey on my back.
- [ah-ah-ahem]
[clearing throat]
- Krusty Krab.
- [coughing]
- Oh, Mr. Krabs, it’s...
[gagging, coughing]
Squidward.
- Mr. Squidward?
What are you doing
on the phone?
You should be working.
- [hacking]
Can’t work.
Too...[hacking] sick.
Ah-choo!
- You do sound pretty bad.
Are you sure
you’re too sick to work?
- Ha ha.
I mean, I mean...[coughing]
positive.
- Hmm...
Too sick, hey?
Oh, I got the cure
for what ails you.
Well, you just rest up,
Mr. Squidward.
I’ll take care of everything.
- Okay, bye, talk to you--
I mean, I mean--
[hacking]
[hoarsely]
Bye!
- No one fake sick on Mr. Krabs
and gets away with it.
- No work for me today.
Mr. Squidward gets to play.
No customers for me to fear.
SpongeBob can take a long
walk along a very sharp pier.
[knock on door]
Huh?
Oh. That must be
the crudité I ordered.
- Well--oh!
Oh, Mr. Krabs.
I didn’t see you there.
How thoughtful of you to
visit me in my weakened state.
- Oh, think nothing of it,
Mr. Squidward.
You sounded so bad on the phone
I rushed right over
to make sure you were
taking good care of yourself.
- Well, I wouldn’t want
to infect anyone,
so you should probably go now.
- Oh, you are in no condition
to be alone.
That’s why I brought
you some help.
Take one of these
and call me in the morning.
- The doctor is in.
- Oh...
- Swaddle, swaddle, swaddle.
Hush-aby now,
don’t strain yourself.
- Really, Mr. Krabs,
this isn’t necessary.
- Of course it is.
If I find out you were
faking it
just to get out of work,
I’d have to fire you.
- No faking here.
No, I’m really--[cough] sick.
Okay, back to the swaddling.
- Aw!
[humming]
- Oh, yes. I like that.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Indeed.
- [gasps]
Squidward!
You’re overexerting yourself.
Now you just rest that sick
little body of yours
while SpongeBob finishes up
your self-portrait for you.
- But--but--but--
- Ha ha!
La la la la!
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah. Done.
In my imagination,
you’re a helpless little baby.
Gee, you’re sicker
than I thought.
[Squidward vomiting]
Eh...
- Now just forget
that yellow nuisance
and lose yourself in music.
♪--
- Squidward!
You shouldn’t be wasting your
breath in your weakened state.
Let me blow
the clarinet for you.
- No, no, don’t touch my--
♪ ♪
Don’t touch my--
- Hmm? Bleh.
[musical inhale]
- [whimpering]
- Ah. The perfect strudel will
make everything all right.
- Oh, Squidward.
- Oh...
- Time to take your
temperature.
- Get that thing away from my--
- Ooh! . . Oh, Squidward,
you’re all better.
I’m so happy we can both go
to the Krusty Krab now.
- What? No!
Give me that thing.
You must’ve read it wrong.
Oh, hey.
What’s that over there?
- Oh cool. A wall.
So smooth.
Well, that was fun.
Now, let’s check that
thermometer again, shall we?
- Here you go.
- Yikes. A fever.
Squidward, we got
to cool you off.
- Stop.
- You’re right,
you need it even colder.
- [shrieking, whimpering]
- Thank you.
- Oh, boy.
- There, all better?
- N-no, you buffoon.
- You’re right, Squidward.
I have been...buffoon.
- W-w-what?
- I’ve been treating
the symptoms
instead of the sickness.
- Stay away from me
with that thing.
- But we have to figure out
what you have
so we can treat it.
- No, uh, I already know
what I have.
It’s, uh, acute...
spotting...sclorboritis.
- Acute spotting sclorboritis?
I never heard of that one.
Better look it up.
- Ah-choo, ah-choo,
ah-choo!
- Oh, you’re getting worse!
We’ve got to find a cure fast.
I found it. Here it is.
- You did?
- Yup.
And the cure
seems pretty simple.
See?
- Uh...uh, wait--
wait, did I say acute
spotting sclorboritis?
No, no, I must’ve meant...
plerkington’s syndrome.
- Found it. Now, let’s get
to the curing, shall we?
[upbeat music]
- Aah!
♪ ♪
Huh?
[Squidward gagging]
- Are we done?
- Don’t be silly.
We’ve just begun.
- Aah!
[ringing]
- Tentacles residence.
SpongeBob speaking.
- Hello, me boy-o.
How’s the patient?
- Better. I’m all better.
Please, just let me
go back to work.
- Oh, nonsense.
You still look so sick.
Better step up the cure,
SpongeBob.
- Whatever you say Mr. Krabs.
Open wide.
- You will not get that
anywhere near my mouth.
- Ha ha ha ha!
Guess again.
- Aah!
So, the book told me
to stretch his nose,
shock him with a jellyfish,
and then I scraped his lungs
and cleaned them out
with a toxic eating urchin.
- Hoo hoo hoo hoo.
Hee he hee hee!
Priceless.
Well, Mr. Squidward.
Feeling better
after your sick day?
- You might say that.
- [gasps] He’s glorious.
- That’s right, I used to be
sick of everything,
but I’m not sick anymore.
I’ve been plagued by toxins
and stress built up
over the years at this job,
but SpongeBob
washed those away.
- [squeals]
- Now, who wants to order?
Ha ha ha!
[overlapping shouting]
- Ha ha ha ha.
- Hey, Squidward.
Whoa, muscles.
Hey, Squidward.
Hey, Squidward.
- More layered pie.
- Hey, Squidward.
Hey, Squidward.
Hey, Squidward.
- No, no, no!
I think I’m going to be sick.
13x02 - Under the Small Top/Squidward's Sick
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
A square yellow sponge named SpongeBob SquarePants lives in a pineapple with his pet snail, Gary, in the city of Bikini Bottom on the floor of the Pacific Ocean.
A square yellow sponge named SpongeBob SquarePants lives in a pineapple with his pet snail, Gary, in the city of Bikini Bottom on the floor of the Pacific Ocean.