And I only want
a little off the top.
Why? Most of it's
on the bottom.
And don't cut
my ears off.
Would you just relax? This is
going to be a work of art.
Now sit still, okay.
Well, well.
What have we here?
Art.
Hmm. What do you say,
huh, Warren Beatty?
No, no. I was thinking more
Robert Redford, you know.
Robert Redford?
Sure.
Yeah. Well, look
at his profile.
See...it's,
it's Redford, alright.
Are you kidding?
'Nicholas does not
have a Redford head.'
'I mean, with, with his color,
we should have curls.'
You mean an Afro?
Sort of. Kinda like
a James Cann look, you know?
- Oh, sort of soft curls.
- 'Right.'
'No, no. James Cann
isn't Nicholas.'
Yeah, of course, he is. If I
could just remember the name..
Would you hold on a minute?
I'm the one giving
the hair-cut, remember?
'Oh, yeah. Well, I'm the one
who saw James Cann'
'in the movie version that I
can't remember the name of.'
Okay, let's ask
Nicholas what he wants.
Fine.
Eh, where'd he go?
Hey, Nicholas!
Nicholas, come back. I promise
I won't give you an Afro.
Nicholas!
Oh, come back.
[theme music]
♪ There's a magic in the early ♪
♪ Morning we've found ♪
♪ When the sunrise smiles on ♪
♪ Everything around ♪
♪ It's a portrait
of the happiness ♪
♪ That we feel and always will ♪
♪ Oh eight is enough ♪
♪ To fill our lives with love ♪
♪ Oh we spend our days ♪
♪ Like bright
and shiny new dimes ♪
♪ If we're ever puzzled ♪
♪ By the changing times ♪
♪ There's a plate
of homemade wishes ♪
♪ On the kitchen window sill ♪
♪ And eight is enough ♪
♪ To fill our lives with love ♪
[instrumental music]
- Nancy!
- 'Yeah?'
Nancy, get your nude self into
this house immediately.
- 'Daddy.'
- Don't, but daddy me.
Just get in here right away.
All I took off is my top.
You call that nude?
I call it disgraceful.
Oh, you've got more blouses in
this house that anybody else.
Unless you're in a bubble bath
or the shower
I want you to wear one,
do you understand?
I was just getting
a tan for my job.
Oh, no. Now don't tell me that
the health food restaurant has
gone topless.
Of course not, daddy.
But my boss, Avocado Sunrise,
wants all the waitresses
to look as healthy as the food.
And he says, strap marks clash
with the sandwiches.
Just because you're employer has
overdosed on alfalfa sprouts
there's no reason to disgrace
the family with semi-nakedness.
I was in the privacy
of my own backyard.
Correction, the privacy
of my backyard
where my daughters stay dressed.
Daddy, you're a prude.
Better off prude,
than half nude.
[laughter]
Nicholas, you weren't hiding in
the backyard, were you?
Heck, no.
I was at the playground.
Oh. I'm sorry,
I didn't mean to bark at you.
Oh, it's alright.
Nancy, how short
do you have to be a shrimp?
Gee, I don't know the exact
figures. I guess pretty short.
'Why?'
Well, today, at the playground,
we were playing basketball, see
and while we were
choosing up teams
everyone got picked except me.
And they called me a shrimp.
Oh, they did, huh?
Well, you shouldn't listen to
cruel kids like that.
You know, you're better off that
they didn't pick you.
Oh yeah, that's easy
for you to say.
You're taller
than any of them.
[laughter]
Nicholas?
You're only inches
away from tallness.
[birds chirping]
[whistling]
[van approaches]
Hold!
What's this?
Restricted parking?
Oh, yes.
This driveway, which is now oil
free after hours of hard labor
is definitely off limits to you
and your travelling oil slick.
Oh no, dad.
I just fixed the leak.
Oh, you know, you must spend
more time
underneath that piece
than in it.
No. Don't, don't, don't.
She's very sensitive.
Hey, remember this?
Oh yes, that was my Christmas
present of '
reported missing,
spring of this year.
Right, now it's home,
safe and sound.
Oh, thank you.
Since when does construction
work require a tie and a jacket?
Oh, it does, when you're having
lunch with the president
of the biggest contracting
firm in town.
Well, now you're getting smart.
Well, didn't you always say,
that one of the first steps
to being a success was,
looking like one.
Ah, yes. I did say that.
I think it was either me or
Ben Franklin may have said it.
But both of us said that
impressing bosses
with what you wear, is not as
important as what you drive.
Ben Franklin said that?
Oh, yes.
Ben Franklin said that.
Ha!
- Who are you?
- Who am I?
I should be asking that
question. This is my house.
You must be Mr. Bradford.
I'm Danny Wise.
Boy, what a real honor.
I read your column every day.
Well, I hope you read the one
that I'm writing now.
It's about the plague get
nudity invading my house.
[laughter]
Oh, dad, you don't understand at
all. He's not a nude stranger.
His name is Danny, he happens
to be my tennis partner.
And he was hot an sweaty.
So am I,
under the collar.
Oh, good grief, dad.
He was just takin' a shower.
Susan, do I have to remind you
about the rules
of allowing men up on
the second floor in the vicinity
of bed rooms.
Dad, they don't even have those
rules in colleges anymore.
Right, that's their problem.
Dad, don't you think you're
overdoing this enforcer bit
a little?
I mean, he left five minutes ago
and there's nobody upstairs now.
That's not the point, the point
is, suppose Elizabeth
were to go upstairs
and see a strange man
walking around with a towel
wrapped around him.
Well, knowing Elizabeth, there
probably be nothing left
but the towel.
'Susan, I would appreciate a
little more discretion on your'
'part, when it comes
to allowing strange men'
sweaty or not,
to use the bathroom.
Our family bathroom,
to take a shower.
Okay, dad.
You know, our house
is not a locker room.
I get the message, alright?
Good.
Thought, you would.
Phew.
Think we'll ever get him
into the th century?
Hmm.. Not till we get him
out of the th.
(Janet)
'So I told him
it was no Portia complex.'
Women make
better lawyers because
they're more emotionally aware.
Speaking of emotions,
Nic, I've missed you.
Motion approved.
[sputtering]
What's wrong?
Wait a minute, let me guess
your plea this time.
Writ of negativus gasolinus.
No, no.
I got over half a t*nk.
Let me get out
and check the engine.
It'll take a sec.
Promise?
Promise.
Joannie, you've never looked
more beautiful.
Oh, yeah. Thanks a lot.
You have a big date, huh?
Oh, just a casual one.
Going to a party.
Anybody I know?
Just a friend
from the theatre.
Oh, an on stage friend,
or a back stage friend?
Oh, what is this?
The third degree?
Come on. You always used to tell
me all about your dates.
Well, I guess I'm just
in a hurry, dad, okay?
Why don't you
bring him in?
You always used to let me
meet your boyfriends.
Huh. Dad, he's years old.
I can't ask a year old man to
come in and meet my father.
Besides, I thought I was past
the parental approval phase.
Well, I was just trying
to be friendly.
Oh, uh, dad,
you want to be friendly
just let me go
with my friends, okay?
[instrumental music]
Hey.
It'll only be
a few more minutes.
Promise?
Promise.
Well, don't rush on my account.
I've already finished
O'Reilly vs. New Jersey.
Read three chapters on torts.
This's been one of our more
productive days.
Besides, the restaurant
closed a half hour ago.
Gotcha.
[instrumental music]
Oh, oh, it's you Abby, it's you.
Hmm, I rolled over for a hug
and I came up with nothin'
but moonlight.
I'm sorry.
I had a hard time falling
asleep, so I figured I'd come
down here and fix myself
some warm milk.
Oh.
Were you waiting
up for Joannie?
No.
Well, it is three O'clock
in the morning.
She is years old.
Does that give her
a right to stay out
at all hours in the morning?
Tom, I have a terrible
confession to make once.
When I was years old
I stayed out till :
in the morning.
Alright, go ahead
and fun of me.
Just trying to be
a good father.
Mm. Oh.
I love you for it.
That makes two of us.
And eight of them.
Mm.
[instrumental music]
Morning, family.
Okay, what's the problem?
Have you seen Joannie?
No, I just got up.
Why, where is she?
Dad, I'm sure she's okay.
Yeah, she's very
self reliant.
Yeah, she has a good sense
of direction.
[laughter]
Oh, the prodigal daughter
has returned.
- Hi, Joannie.
- Hi.
Dad, I'm really sorry. Really.
I hate to admit it, but the guy
I went to the party with
left with another girl and I
didn't have a ride, so..
...I stayed overnight at the
house, the girl gave the party.
Slept on the floor, obviously.
- Why didn't you call?
- I wanted to. Really, I did.
It's just that it was so late
and you know I didn't wanna wake
everyone in the house, and..
Well, I was just trying
to be considerate, dad.
A considerate person
would have realized
there's people at home
worrying about her.
Don't worry when I don't call.
Worry when I do call.
Dad, I think she's old enough
to take care of herself.
Yeah, you act like you don't
even trust your own daughters.
That's not the issue.
We have house rules here.
If you are going
to live in my house
then you will adhere
by my rules.
One of them is, that if you're
going to be out late, you call.
Especially when late
is the morning after.
Dad, don't you think it's time
you respected us as adults.
When you are considerate of the
people that you live with
then I will respect you
as an adult.
Okay, dad, okay.
'No, it's not okay.'
I don't consider this incident
to be another insignificant
transgression
that can easily be overlooked.
Dad, I said I'm sorry, and I
promise it won't happen again.
That's right,
it won't happen again.
Not in the near future anyway
because for the next
three weeks you're grounded.
Grounded?
Grounded.
'Can you believe it?'
A year old woman
grounded by her father.
Yeah, I can believe it.
He's been building up to
something like this for days.
I have half a mind just to pick
up and move out!
Yeah, well, that kind of move
will require half a mind.
Huh, really, Joannie, I mean the
only thing more ridiculous than
a year old woman being
grounded is a year old woman
running away from home.
I'd rather spend the rest of my
life on a park bench
than under the iron hand of
Generalissimo Bradford.
Hey, be realistic, now what kind
of a place
can you afford on $ a week.
The kinda place it would require
$ worth of insecticides.
[laughter]
Really, you guys face facts.
On our incomes we're just gonna
have to find a way to cope.
Or to co-op?
What're you talkin' about?
A co-operative.
I mean, yeah.. Listen, we all
wanna get out from under
the iron thumb, right, and none
of us can afford to
move out on our own.
But what if we pooled our
little incomes together.
Hold on, Joannie, I'm only
bringing home $ a week from
the day care center.
I know, but with my $ from the
theatre, and what Nancy makes--
Joannie, wait a minute.
I mean, you're forgetting the
first rule of renting.
I'm mean you got to make in a
week, which you pay per month.
May we'd never find a furnished
two bedroom apartment
we like for less than -.
Wait a minute, what about my
$ a week, with tips
your $ and your , that's
what, almost ?
Yeah, there you go.
That's close enough.
You guys, I mean, you really
think we can pull this off?
Well, I mean, we'll get along
with each other--
Hey, we've lived together
all our lives, right?
I say we give it a try.
I mean, what've got to lose?
- Chains.
- sl*very.
Tyranny..
Hey, that sounds pretty good.
You guys okay,
one more time for me.
(in unison)
Chains!
sl*very!
Tyranny!
Alright!
[instrumental music]
Hey, Nicholas,
come on, man, look alive.
You're supposed to be helping me
clean this place up.
I will.
Tommy, how can
I get taller?
You're asking me
how to get taller?
I'm not exactly what
you call tall, bud.
I know, but at least
you're average.
Oh, I'm only average when it
comes to things
that I can't control.
After that I'm way
above average.
Tommy, do you think I'm exactly
what you call short?
Well, for an adult, maybe, yes.
But for a nine year old kid,
you're hangin' right in there.
Oh, yeah?
Well, how come for everyone else
in this family
when they were my age,
they were a lot taller.
Oh, well number one, girls are
always taller at that age.
Number two, you shouldn't go
comparing yourself
to other people.
When people start
calling you shrimp
you start takin' a look
at yourself.
'Hey, I got called shrimp plenty
of times when I was your age.'
Until I was about..
Till about .
And then my hormones kicked in
and up I went,
the rest is history.
You mean I have to
wait till I'm ?
Well, it happens sooner
with some people
but it depends
on the hormones.
Hey, you guys busy?
Aw, dad put us
on garage detail.
But we could use
an escape clause.
Alright, well I thought you
might wanna come with me
to pick out a new set of wheels.
New wheels, David,
you're buying a new car?
- Alright, let's go.
- Come on.
Yeah, and on the way, can we
stop for some hermans?
Hormones?
[instrumental music]
[telephone ringing]
'Well, congratulations, Dave.
You're gonna love that baby.'
We'll have yours
for you in six weeks.
Six weeks! Wait a minute.
I was hoping
I'd get it right away.
Yeah, well, we're
kinda havin' some
delivery problems
from Detroit.
Oh, well, I waited this long,
what's six more weeks.
That's wonderful, Dave, we'll
notify you
the moment it arrives, huh.
Oh, by the way, were you
planning on trading in your..
...present vehicle.
Yeah, how much can I get for it?
Let's check it out.
That's a '?
Well, I'd be takin' a loss, but
I can, I can let you have .
Three hundred dollars
for a classic!
Oh, I was counting
on more than that.
Tell you what, Dave, why don't
you just think about it.
I'll take care of your order
and, you can decide.
Okay.
Dave, you're, uh..
You're gonna love this
once in a life time
special offer.
I...will buy
your present vehicle.
Where are you gonna
get the $?
Never underestimate
my ability to score bread.
Now, wait a minute, I think you
ought to talk to dad, first.
'Well, dad says I can buy a car
anytime I can afford it.'
I'll draw up a contract
and everything.
Then I'll have
for you in full
on the day that
your wagon arrives.
Alright, alright.
It's a deal, Tom.
Oh, to make it um...honest,
Tommy.
You're cute.
- Okay, this is it.
- This is it.
Okay, quite street.
Two bedrooms.
Ah, well, what do you think?
Well, at least
it's a lot better
than the last places
we looked at, huh?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, no broken windows.
No great view of the garbage
dump like that one for .
Yeah, on the other hand it's,
doesn't have airline pilots
in a swimming pool like
the one for a month.
- Oh, shh.
- Well, let's find out, come on.
Okay.
And another thing, young ladies.
I don't stand for no parties.
You got it, no parties.
'That's a promise.'
Look at all this sunlight
you guys, my plants will
go crazy in here.
Plants are permitted.
Pets are nixed.
Did you guys see all
the covered space in there
it is so fantastic.
If you play your
music too loud
you'd be out before you can
change the record.
Hey, no music, no music.
Hey, you guys, I can walk to
work from here.
Oh yeah, me too, no problem.
I guess, I'm gonna
have to find a bus.
Oh, right around the corner,
young lady.
Take you any place
you wanna go.
Got an express to the
race track to boot.
Oh, super, you know, I've always
wanted to go to the race track.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Well guys?
I haven't seen anything half as
good for , what do you think?
- Should we take it?
- It's okay by me.
- What about you?
- Sounds good.
We like the apartment
very much, Mrs. Dreissan.
So, when do we sign?
As soon as you agree
to my rules.
- Rules?
- Oh yeah, rules, Mrs. Dreissan.
We know all about rules.
Yeah, nobody knows
more about rules than we do.
- Alright then, it's yours.
- Oh..
- Just as soon as I get my $.
- Your what?
- $?
- No, you said it was only $.
It is...but, before
I hand out the keys
I get my first
and last month's rent
and $ security deposit.
Oh, no..
[typewriter clacking]
Homework, on Saturday?
Just a second.
There. And no, it's a contract.
Oh, no. Don't tell me you're
starting another sales venture.
(Tommy)
'Oh, no. I'm not selling
this time, I'm buying.'
Buying what?
David bought
a new four wheel drive
and I'm buying his van.
- Buying the van?
- That's right.
Wait a minute. I think we should
talk about this first.
Well dad, I thought we had some
sort of unofficial agreement.
You know, I can buy
any car of my choice
as along as I can pay for it.
- Yes, but I..
- Dad, a deal is a deal.
Besides that, I'm already
bound in contract with David.
Uh, oh, okay, okay.
Oh, I just cleaned
the oil leaks off my driveway.
David, do you believe it?
That landlady wants first and
last month's rent in advance.
Not only that, she wants
a security deposit, too.
(Nancy)
'Yeah, isn't that ridiculous?'
No. No, no, I think it's lucky.
I had to leave all of that,
plus a $ key deposit.
Oh, then you understand
our financial situation?
Yeah. I'm afraid I do.
Based on the case of me
versus my big brother
I would say that,
your financial problem
is about to become David's.
(Mary)
'Oh, Janet.'
[chuckling]
Are, uh, we that obvious?
Uh, as David's almost attorney,
I have to warn you.
He just plugged down
his life savings on a new car.
- Yeah.
- 'A new car?'
Well, not just a new car,
a new image.
Oh, David. I don't know whether
to clap for you or cry for us.
Aw, hey, come on, you guys.
Let's be big about this.
Congratulations, David.
- Well, thanks.
- Yeah, congratulations.
Alright, well, seeing
that my spirits are high
'and my resistance
to beautiful women is low'
you may have what's left
in my battered bank account.
(Joanie)
'Uh, David, really?'
You mean, you're offering
us a loan for real?
- Yeah!
- Oh, David!
You life-saver, you.
David Bradford, you're the best
brother in Sacramento.
(David)
'No, just the softest touch.'
By the way, how's dad
taking all this?
Oh, at the moment,
really calmly.
Calmly?
Yeah...uh, we haven't
told him yet.
- You're what?
- Taking our own apartment.
That's absurd.
Well, you can't afford it.
We haven't discussed it.
This is not the kind of thing
that any mature person
would even consider.
Aw, come on, dad,
we have considered it.
Carefully. We think it's about
time we run our own lives.
What makes you think,
that you're even old enough
to-to take on
that kind of responsibility.
What makes you think
that I would even let you go?
Dad, it doesn't matter,
if you let us go or not.
What do you mean, young lady?
I'm your father.
And we are legal adults.
Oh, legal adults.
Don't make me laugh.
You can laugh or you can cry,
dad. But we're moving out.
And you can't stop us, dad.
[dramatic music]
[instrumental music]
[indistinct chatter]
Hey, look you guys.
You think this will
ever come back in style?
[indistinct chatter]
- Hi, may I come in?
- Sure, dad, come on in.
Hi. I-I'll just
be a minute, girls.
Listen, I've had time to cool
down and give some thought.
Your plan, you know?
And I think it's time
that we just sit down
and have a calm, rational,
open discussion.
Okay, dad. As long as you are
not trying to talk us out of it.
We're not gonna change
our minds, dad.
We're moving out, dad
and that's all there is to it.
This isn't exactly the open
discussion, I had in mind.
(Susan)
'Oh, we are sorry,
dad, but'
your open discussions always
run in the same pattern.
- You dictate, we obey.
- Alright, alright.
I overreacted and I'm sorry,
I realize that now.
'But I mean,
that-that doesn't give you'
'reason to just
desert the family.'
We-we've got a little problem
here, let's work it out.
'It's too late, dad.'
We've already signed, sealed
and committed.
Oh, just like that, on a whim,
on an impulse.
Oh, what do you want, dad,
An act of congress?
- Well..
- Yeah, dad.
Didn't you hear?
It is a fait accompli.
Okay, okay, but I hope
you three girls realize
that you're going
to disqualify yourself
from some certain family
privileges like, like cars.
Don't worry, dad.
We'll be living on the bus line.
Ow, well, money..
Yes, and money too.
I mean, independence
doesn't come cheap.
If you don't believe me,
ask David.
Well ,he knows how hard
it is to make a living.
He knows all about that.
Yeah, he knows.
That's why he's lending us
the money for the apartment.
He what?
(Tom)
'I cannot believe
that David would actually'
'bankroll their insurrection'.
'Doesn't he care
about his own sisters?'
David cares, he just recognizes
something you don't.
All three girls
are legal adults.
[sighing]
That says nothing
about maturity.
That means they can vote,
not make decisions.
Huh! Did you-did you hear
what you just said?
I mean, sometimes, you know
Tom, I cannot believe
your attitude.
For a journalist,
you are really out of touch.
Eh, I don't know.
What are you talking about?
(Abby)
'I'm talking about
young people.'
In case you haven't noticed
they are leaving home
a little younger these days.
Whose side you on, anyway?
Well. if I have to take sides,
I'm on your side.
But that's only because
I love you.
Yeah, well, you're not being
very supportive.
How old was David,
when he left home?
Oh, come on, David is different.
Yes? How's David different?
Well, I don't know,
he's more responsible.
Oh, I see. Well, the girls
are responsible.
Yeah, but David was always
taking good care of himself.
He always had
a good paying job.
- The girls have jobs.
- Well, he-he-he's a man.
A-ha, the real reason.
No, no, come on, we've been over
that a million times.
You know I'm not a sexist.
No, you just don't want your
little baby girls to leave home.
I don't wanna talk
about it anymore.
(Abby)
Do you know what I think?
I think you are
more concerned about
how this move will
affect your life than theirs.
I don't wanna talk about it
anymore. Goodnight.
Abby?
Hmm?
Even though you're wrong,
I love you.
(Tommy)
'Yes, Nicholas this old bike
sure means a lot to me.'
And as a matter of pride,
I'd kinda like to see it
stay in the family.
That's why I'm offering you
first cr*ck at a great deal.
And I think, uh, you've
finally reached the point
where you're ready to
step up to real man's bike.
- You really think so?
- Yup.
Ah. I sure do.
Now-now picture this.
You're coasting down that big
hill that you've just conquered.
And the wind
is whipping your hair
and the sun is just sinking
below the horizon.
Ain't that beautiful?
Hey, and it all can be yours
for an incredibly low cost
of $.
Twenty bucks? All I got is five.
And most of that's in pennies.
Well, I tell ya,
I never discriminate
when it comes to money.
That $ will make a nice little
down payment on this baby.
Down payment?
Yeah, and you just pay
the rest to me
in easy weekly installments.
Now you just turn
your allowance over to me
and this little gem will be all
paid for before you know it.
I don't know.
Nicholas, how can you afford
to pass up a deal like this?
I mean, not only are you
getting a great bike
but how many people,
now, how many people
get a chance to establish
credit at the age of nine?
cents a day times three of us
times seven days a week
equals, okay,
$ and cents a week.
Oh, look, don't forget to add in
the curtains that I saw.
- They were so cute.
- How much do they cost?
(Nancy)
'Uh, $...'
(Joanie)
'Nancy, don't you realize we're
gonna be a shoestring budget.'
'Yeah, you're gonna have to give
up some luxury items, princess.'
(Nancy)
'Yeah. like food.'
Well, I'll take home,
food from the restaurant.
Susan, wait till you taste
the Okra and bean curd salad.
Oh, it sounds great.
(Joannie)
Okay, what's next?
Aw, you three seem to be
having such a good time.
- Countdown to freedom.
- Yeah.
No more curfews, lots of parties
no one to tell you what to do.
- 'Yeah.'
- 'Oh, well..'
(Joannie)
'It's more than that, Abby,
I mean..'
This really a chance
for us to grow
and make some of our own
decisions, you know.
Become women.
Yeah, we knew dad
wouldn't understand, but
we kinda hoped you would.
I do. I told my parents
the same thing.
Oh, so you know
what we're going through.
Of course, I know
what you're going through.
It's just that, uh..
I'll miss you guys a lot.
Aw.
It's not like
we're moving to Mars.
We're only gonna be
ten minutes away.
I know.
That's right, Abby.
The apartment is only
four miles from here. Really.
'It's not like dad
thinks at all.'
- 'No.'
- 'Family's not splittin'.'
Not if it's just sort
of sub dividin'.
Yeah, you're not gonna
get rid of us that much.
We'll be around for dinner
plenty of times.
You'll probably see
more of us than you do now.
- Yeah.
- I figured that.
That is, if dad doesn't
ban us from the house.
[instrumental music]
[telephone ringing]
Hello?
Yes, this is David Bradford.
Mr. Foster, I wasn't expecting
to hear from you for six weeks.
Yeah, you're in luck, Dave.
The shipment came in early.
Now, all I need is the check
for the final balance
and you got your wagon.
Oh, how much do you need?
Uh...$.
Two hundred and seventy seven,
huh?
Well, uh, there might be
a problem.
When do you need it by?
Well, tomorrow,
Friday, the latest.
I got people
on a waiting list
and I got to move
those babies out.
Alright, well, I can try.
Well, if I were you,
I'd try real hard because
the next shipment may not be
for another six months.
Six months?
Alright, alright,
I'll let you know. Thank you.
[instrumental music]
Hey, Nicholas.
Just wait a minute.
Oh, hey-hey.
How'd you like your new bike?
It's bigger than I thought.
Oh, well, let me see
you ride it.
I ride it lousy,
I fall off great.
Why didn't you tell me sooner?
I didn't wanna bother you.
Oh, it's no bother. That's what
fathers were created for.
And guess what, I think
I have the solution.
Here. I'm gonna make you
king of the road, yet.
I hope he knows what he's doing.
Here you are, Nicholas.
What do you think?
It's swell, dad. Thanks.
Oh, don't mention it.
What's a father for?
Okay, get up here. I want you
to give it a good try.
Alright? Go on.
Heya, champ.
How the new..
Yeah, training wheels.
Dad, huh?
David, I can't let anyone see me
with these things on my bike.
I know. Sometimes dads forget
what it's like growing up.
I'll tell you what, let me
take care of some business
and then I'll see
what I can do. Okay?
- Alright.
- Okay.
Seven.
Eight.
Nine.
Ten.
Eleven.
Twelve, hi, David.
Thirteen, what's going on?
Fourteen...fifteen.
I have some bad news for ya.
I can't sell you my van.
What? Why not?
Well, not right now, anyway.
I won't be able to get
my wagon for six months.
Oh, but I thought that uh..
What happened?
Well, the shipment came in early
and right now
I don't have the money
I need to get it.
Well, you had it yesterday.
Yeah, that was before
I loaned it
to the girls
for their apartment.
So, get it back.
No, they are counting
on that money.
But I was counting on the van.
Tommy, both you and I can wait.
The girls need that apartment.
Man, I knew it's too good
to be true.
Oh, hi, you guys.
Gee, I was wondering
if I should take all my shoes
or may be just a dozen pair?
You may not have to take
anything, Nance.
We've got a problem.
No. What happened?
Did dad call the police
or something?
It's not dad, it's David.
- David?
- Yup, David.
Hey, we're not supposed
to know this
but he's $ short
on his new car.
Why, what happened?
See, the shipment came in early
and the guy said that he..
Well, anyway the point is
that instead of asking us
for the money back,
David decided
to wait for the new shipment.
Oh, gosh.
That's one sweet brother.
Wouldn't have even known about
it if I didn't overhear
Tommy asking Nicholas
for his bike back.
Oh, gee, that's not
one sweet brother.
Well, uh..
Nan, Susan and I talked it
over and we thought..
Well, what do you think?
It seems like the only
right thing to do is
give David his money back,
whether he wants it or not.
You mean...no apartment?
Not at David's expense,
Nance, no.
Hey, that's alright,
we'll get another one.
'Oh, yeah?'
Where we gonna find another
furnished apartment
for $ a month, huh?
With the first
and last month's rent?
On a bus line,
with no key deposit.
Or I mean, you wanna remain
in Bradford prison?
We may have to.
[dramatic music]
[sighing]
[whistling]
Hi, Abby. Here, let me
help you with that.
Why do you sound chipper
this morning?
Well, it's a beautiful day,
the sun is shining
the birds are singing.
The girls don't have
an apartment.
The girls don't have
an apartment.
Yeah, that was a tough break.
(Abby)
'Tom, I'm think your euphoria
may be just a little'
bit premature because
they're out right now
this afternoon,
looking for a new place.
Yes, I know, but you and I both
know that they won't find one
because they don't have
enough money.
- Tom.
- Abby.
I have decided that, um..
...that there's going to be
some changes.
I recognize my excessiveness
and it's my responsibility
to mend the fences.
But just because you're ready
to make concessions
doesn't mean peace is at hand.
You'll see, this family
has a great way
of overcoming adversity.
We'll be a big
happy family again.
Just watch.
Surprise.
- Oh, thanks.
- You're welcome.
- Mary?
- Yeah, Nicholas.
Can I have a man to man
talk with you?
Uh...well, I'll try to hold up
my end of the bargain.
sh**t.
I need something
from the hospital.
The hospital?
Uh, maybe we better sit down
and talk this one over.
Here.
- Uh, what is that you need?
- Hormones.
Hormones? Nicholas, why in the
world would you need hormones?
Do you even know
what they are?
Well, not really.
I just know that
I don't have any.
Oh. You're sure
about that, huh?
Well, Tommy says
when he started kicking in
he got real big.
And I'm tired of
being called a shrimp.
Nicholas, you're not a shrimp.
And I promise you that your body
has just the right
amount of hormones.
- Oh, yeah?
- Hmm.
Then how come I'm too short
to play basket ball?
And I need training wheels
on my new bike.
Nicholas, you might
be short now, okay?
But in a couple of years,
this thing called
the pituitary gland, it's in
back of your head and--
- Patuarary?
- Pituitary.
- Pitu..
- Itary.
See, and uh,
it sends out hormones off
through your body, right,
and when that happens
well, then you start
to grow faster.
And along with that come
a few other changes.
Like what?
Well, if I tell you,
it'll spoil the surprise.
Are you sure, I won't be
a shrimp all rest of my life?
Oh, I'm positive on that.
Mary, when I start to get taller
can you explain the other things
that's gonna happen to me?
Um, I think we'll let
dad handle that. Okay?
If you say so.
I think so.
Oh, what a day.
If I hear first and last month's
rent one more time..
- How'd it go?
- Oh, don't ask.
You know, I don't know why they
all need security deposits.
'I mean, it's not like we're
gonna steal an apartment.'
No luck, huh?
- Nope.
- Nope.
You know, we can't
even get a closet
for what we can afford.
Listen, um, I know
I haven't been very supportive.
I think may be I was
a little bit jealous
that you were getting out
before me.
- Ah, it's okay, Mary.
- 'No, it's not.'
I know that if the situation
had been on the other foot
you guys would've helped me.
So, uh, if $ will help
'I'll sell back my books
from last year.'
Oh, thanks, Mary but no, thanks.
Oh, sure and I could
let you have about bucks.
I don't need Finch jeans
that bad.
(Susan)
'Aw, Elizabeth.'
Oh really, it's a small price
to pay for my own room.
And I can scrounge around
and come up with few bucks.
Nicholas could sell his worm
farm to Irving J. Moore.
You guys are really being sweet.
Yeah. We can't accept,
really, but..
'Thanks, anyway.'
(Nancy)
'Well, I don't know about
the rest of you guys but..'
...I've got
some unpacking to do.
- Yeah, me too.
- Yeah, me three.
Thanks.
[instrumental music]
Somehow, this isn't as much
fun in reverse.
- Oh, hi.
- Hi.
Who do I make this
check out to?
What-what'd you say?
Who do I make
this check out to?
Abby, you don't mean
that you're..
Giving you the money, yeah.
Abby, uh...
This is real generous
of you, but um..
Uh, don't you think you're gonna
be committing domestic su1c1de?
Oh, I doubt it.
Besides it's my money,
I want you to have it.
Abby, are you sure
you want to do this?
Positive.
Abby!
- Thank you.
- I don't believe it, thank you.
You're welcome.
But would you
do me a favor?
- 'Anything.'
- 'Really.'
Go talk to your dad and patch
things up before you go.
Do you think
that's possible, Abby?
Yeah.
I'm not sayin'
it's gonna be easy.
Look, the real problem
is that he's having trouble
letting you go
because he loves you so much.
Huh, I don't think he loves us
so much at the moment.
You'd be so surprised.
[typewriter keys clacking]
Take a deep breath.
Let's go.
Dad, could we talk
to you for a second?
Oh, yeah, sure.
I always have time
for my girls, right?
Oh, well..
Well, Dad, we just wanted
to say that we really--
No, no,
you don't have to.
I am to blame
as much as you are.
Uh, dad, we really
didn't mean for this
to turn out
to be such a mess.
'No, but if I hadn't
been so strict'
and overprotective, lot of this
wouldn't have even happened.
In fact, I'm writing
a whole new set of rules.
I think you'll find
them quite liberal.
'Take curfews,
I practically'
'eliminated them
for you older girls.'
Oh, well, dad, that's really
open minded of you, but..
'Well, I think I should be
a little more reasonable.'
After all you are not children
anymore, I can't make all your
decisions for you, right?
Then you understand
why we have to leave.
I understand.
Leave?
Yeah, dad, that's what we came
to talk to you about.
We wanted to tell you
the reasons
why we're movin' out.
What do you mean
moving out?
I thought..
Where did you
get the money?
It is my money, you know, I can
do what I want to with them.
No, no, not when it comes
to my children.
Oh, oh, when was I fired
as their step-mother?
You know, I don't
understand this.
First it was David,
now it's you.
I'm stabbed in the back more
times than Caesar.
What is going on?
You know how opposed
I was to their moving out.
I thought it was
the right thing to do.
Oh, you did, did you?
When you know how hard
I struggle to keep
this family together?
Well, you've done
just the opposite.
You call it stabbing
in the back.
Well, the truth is,
David lends them
the last dollar he has
so the girls can move out.
And then when he needs
the money for his car
they don't hesitate
to give it back.
And while you're waiting
for the whole thing to blow over
everyone in this family
is willing to sacrifice
what little they have
so that the girls can move.
What are you saying,
that I'm a monster
because I don't
want my family to dissolve?
No, I, I'm just trying
to remind you that
that helping and caring
for each other is what
this family is all about.
And in your efforts to keep
things together
'you seem to have
forgotten that.'
Look, Tom.
Everyone needs a little help
from, from crawling to walking.
'You know, you don't just
hop out of the crib.'
'You need somebody there to,
to prop you up'
'and to support you
so that you can learn to walk.'
'Straight and,
and tall.'
Look, until you accept
this move
and give your blessings,
this entire family will remain
divided, even if we all
do stay under one roof.
Could you hurry it up?
Hey, Susan,
give me a break.
You realize how much it
would cost you to have
professional movers haul
all this junk?
I'm sorry, it's just
I'm anxious to get outta here.
It's cold as an iceberg
in the house.
[instrumental music]
Come on, Joannie,
it's no use.
- I know, but..
- Come on.
[music continues]
Here, David.
[car engine revving]
(Joannie)
Well, I guess,
this is it.
(Susan)
Yep, end of an era.
I was wrong.
What do you say, guys?
Is it straight?
Yeah, it's straight.
Snap out of it, you guys.
Fine, look.
We are three independent women
with an apartment of our own.
Sure.
Yeah.
Okay, what's wrong
with you two?
[sighing]
Guilt. What else?
Did you see him just staring
out the study window?
I mean,
it was just so sad.
(Joannie)
'I know.'
It just made me
want to run in there and..
...throw my arms around him
and say, "I'm sorry, dad."
'"We're not leaving."'
Joannie, hey,
I feel about this, too.
But we can't spend the rest
of our lives at home
because dad wants us to.
[knock on the door]
Are you guys
expecting somebody?
- No, not me.
- Must be the landlady.
How can it be? We already paid
her first and last month rent.
- Dad!
- Oh, hi.
What with moving everything, I
thought maybe you forgot to eat.
Oh, daddy!
Look, this is difficult
for me, so, uh..
...try to bear with me. I..
I want to apologize.
Oh, daddy,
please don't say it.
We're just glad
you're here.
Then you understand why it was
so hard for me to let you go.
Oh, daddy..
It was hard
for us too, really.
It's...I mean, just because
we moved out it doesn't mean
that, that we don't
need you anymore.
I know.
Took me a while
to figure that out.
Well, you gonna show me around
this palace of yours?
- Oh, sure.
- Oh, sure.
I'll give you
the deluxe tour.
Hey, it may not look like
much now, daddy.
But once we do
with the old Bradford touch.
Oh, you mean,
make it nice and messy.
[chattering]
- Why start now?
- Oh, daddy!
[instrumental music]
David Bradford, welcome
to the established man.
Well, it was bound to happen
sooner or later.
Uh, Janet, how did you
get him to do it?
Oh, uh, I just told him
I wouldn't see him anymore
unless he got rid
of that turkey.
Turkey? That's my van
you're talkin' about.
My van, unless you
pay it off.
- You'd re-possessed the van?
- Yeah.
Oh, don't worry, Tommy,
I wouldn't let him.
Look, Nicholas,
what I got for you.
Oh, boy! Oh, boy!
My bike!
- 'Yeah.'
- Hey, hey, hey.
That's my bike
until you pay it off.
Oh, come on,
give the kid a break.
I fixed the pedals
so you can reach 'em.
- Oh boy, no training wheels.
- 'Right.'
Thanks, David,
it's great.
Can I pay it off
on time?
Ask Tommy, I've got
a great credit line.
No, no, no charge this time,
it's on the house.
Why don't you hop on
and give it a try?
I bet you'll love it.
- You happy?
- Up.
- Alright.
- Good job.
(Tommy)
'Ride ho, Nicholas,
away.'
(David)
'Who is that
masked stranger?'
(Tommy)
'The lone hormone.'
[theme music]
[music continues]
03x16 - Moving Out
Watch/Buy Amazon
The show was modeled on the life of syndicated newspaper columnist Tom Braden, a real-life parent with eight children, who wrote a book by the same title.
The show was modeled on the life of syndicated newspaper columnist Tom Braden, a real-life parent with eight children, who wrote a book by the same title.