07x06 - From Nurse to Worse

[bunniefuu]

[♪]

Hello, boys. TOGETHER: Jerry.

I had no idea you were the men
sent out to paper this room.

I'm glad to see you.

Tell me, Jerry,
what are you doing here?

Well, this is my house.

You must have opened a bank.

Yeah, at night.

No, I sell insurance.

Say, if you fellows want
to quit working

and collect a month,

all you've got to do
is take out a policy.

How do you get in
on this insurance gag?

Well, you take out a policy,

then you go
to the insurance doctor

and pretend you're nuts.

And the insurance company
pays you a month.

Five hundred dollars a month.
It's a banana.

Bonanza.

Bonanza, banana, bandanna--

As long as we don't have
to work anymore.

How much does it cost?

Oh, $ down, a month.

I've got an application blank.

I'll get it
and help you fill it out.

Fifty dollars.

Fork over. Where's that dollar?

Oh, don't. Don't. No.
Come on. Get your hands off.

That's my favorite dollar.

What do you mean?

I raised it from a cent.
Now, cut it out.

Don't.

Come on. Start--

[WHINES]

[WHINES]

[HUMMING]

Hey, where's the key?

In the purse.

In the purse?
What's it in there for?

Any sap knows that.
So I won't lose it.

You won't--
Come on. Come on. Come on.

You pickpocket. That's
what you are-- A pickpocket.

That's what you are.

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS] Wait a minute.

Hold still, will you?

[WHIMPERS]

Gettin' it the hard way, huh?

[LAUGHS]

[SNAP] [GRUNTING]

Hm. Can't even trust a moth.

Give me that.

You're next.

sh**t the money to me, honey.

I don't want to play.

Get away.

Come on. [GRUNTS]

Oh. Oh.
Come across with that dough,

or I'll tear the rest of it out.

Oh, all right.

All right,
now we'll fill out the blank.

Oh, uh, which one
do you want to insure?

TOGETHER: Him.

Well, not me.

I refuse.

I still refuse.

Ow, ow, ow. I surrender, dear.
I surrender.

All right. Here you are.
Sign right on the dotted line.

[WHIMPERS]

This is the joint.

Boy, we'll be in the money soon.

Come on, Fido, come on.

How do you do? How do you do?

[BARKS]

What's the matter with him?
Bats in the belfry.

The insurance company
wants the doctor to examine him

to prove that he's batty.

That shouldn't be hard.
Where's your policy?

Right here, madam.

[HOWLS, BARKS]

Mm. Nyuck, nyuck.

[BARKS]

[WHIMPERS]

[BARKING]

[PANTING]

How about a date, toots?
Woo woo.

[SCOFFS]

Go away. Go away.

Oh, hit a dumb animal,
would you?

[BARKS]

[PANTING]

Oh.

[GIGGLES]

[HUMMING]

Ah-ah.

You're supposed to be a dog,
and don't forget it.

[YELLS] Get down there.

Come on.

Here they are, doctor.
Hi, doctor.

Which one is the crazy one?

That one.

[BARKS]

Hey. Quiet, Bowser.

Yowser.

This is a very sad case, doctor.

Ever since he's been bitten
by a dog, he thinks he is one.

What happened to the dog
that bit him?

MOE: He d*ed.

Step into the office.
I'll examine him.

Come on, Hydrophobia.

[WHIMPERS, BARKS]

Up here.

Now, let me see, the heart.

Two spades. I double.

I redouble.

[YELPS]

Let the doctor do his stuff.

Go on, doc.

[SCREAMS]

Oh, doc,
you'll have to excuse him.

He's a very playful pup.

[RATTLES]

There's something loose inside.

Oh, you're wrong, doctor.

His head is empty.

[LIQUID SLOSHES]

Sounds like water on the brain.

You mean he may go
from mad to worse?

LERIOUS: Exactly.

I ought to operate on his brain.

You can't do that. You'd have
to cut through the bone.

[KNOCK]

Come in.

[PUFFS] Oh, ow. Oh.

This is serious. He may
go violently insane any minute.

Oh, he's worse
than that right now.

[BARKS]

Now, be quiet, Fido.

Take it easy. Be-- Be quiet.

Didn't I tell you he was crazy?
Do we get the insurance money?

Why, this man is dangerous.
I've got to operate immediately.

What? On me?
Yes. Now, don't worry. It--

It won't hurt. I'm just going to
take the top of your head off.

[MOANS]

Come on, Moe. Not me. Come on.

Wait a minute! Call the police.
Hey, hey! Wait a minute, Fido!

Hey, what's the idea?

Get up here.

What's going on here?

Quick, officer.
A madman just left my office.

[GRUNTS]

You nitwit. If you had played
your part like a Pekingese

instead of a wolfhound,

our plan would have worked.

There he is.

Hey, you!

[ALL GROAN] Come on.

[SCREECHING]

Quick. The truck.

I told them,
"I don't care who you are,

it'll cost you $
to get the pooch,"

and he paid.

Telephone headquarters and
have them broadcast an alarm.

That's a good idea, doc.

Hurry up. He's dangerous.

Boy, that was a narrow escape.

You're tellin' me.

That guy wanted to carve me up.

[BARKS] [BARKS]

[BARKS] [GROWLS]

[CHATTERING]

[DOG GROWLS, BARKS]

I never heard two dogs
make so much noise.

[KNOCKS TO THE TUNE
OF "SHAVE AND A HAIR CUT"]

[DOG BARKS]

[THUMPING]

[WHIMPERS]

[GROANS]

[GROANS]

Oh.

[SCREAMS]

[GRUNTS]

♪ When we're runnin'
Doggies down ♪

♪ Why, he's more fun
Than a painted clown ♪

ANNOUNCER: We interrupt this
program to broadcast a warning.

Be on the lookout
for three funny-looking men.

One is an escaped lunatic
who imagines he is a dog.

Be careful. He bites.
That is all.

That's enough.

Ah.

"They're tryi" to gas us.

We gotta break
a way out of here.

At the door. Come on.

Ready. Go.

[ALL GROAN]

[DOGS BARK]

Come on. Let's get out of here.
Follow me.

Whoo-whoo-whoo.

Come on.

Come on. Get going here.

Hey, this is the longest room
I've ever seen.

Come on.

Whoo-whoo-whoo.

Hey, Seabiscuit,
where you going?

I'm runnin' away.

Hey. The window. Come on.

Come on.

Ready. Go.

[ALL GROAN] Hey, Moe.

Hey, the door. Come on.

[COUGHS]

Hey, it's the mad dog man.
Get him.

Get him. [ALL GROAN]

CURLY: Whoo-whoo-whoo.

Hey, taxi.

[ENGINE STARTS]

Hey, thumb a ride.

There they are. I see 'em.

You will do nothing.
I won't, eh?

To the hospital. Quick.

What's the idea? Hey. Hey.

[ALL YELLING]

Take this patient to surgery
and prepare him

for cerebrum decapitation.

No. Not me.
I'm all right, I tell you.

Come on.
It's a mistake. It's a mistake.

Let me out.

[NURSE SCREAMS]

[NURSE SCREAMS]

MAN: Come here.
I tell you, I'm only foolin'.

Let me out of here.
Just a minute.

You wait here.
If the operation is a success,

you may see him.

If not, you can claim the body.

Thank you, doctor.

Where do you think you're going?

We're gonna see
your friend, Charlie.

Charlie? Who's Charlie?

You know Charlie.
Fellow who walks like this.

Yeah, he's got a bad case
of ingrown heels.

He starts out like this.

[BOTH GROAN]

No cop can ever catch us.

You said it, kid.

[BOTH GROAN]

Whew. That was a close shave.

Aw. Look at the cute babies.

[LAUGHS] [BABBLING]

LARRY: Look.

I love babies.

You.

Sweetie.
Coochie-coochie-coochie-coo.

[BABY WHINING]

Boy, aren't they cute?

Yeah, the one
with the red hair was--

[BOTH GROAN]

Hey, doc...

did you see two funny-looking
guys running around here?

No. He's a sick man.
I have to go.

[MOANS] Hey, you--

[BOTH GROAN]

Oh, what's the use?

Let me alone.
You don't understand.

I don't want no operation.

I got an idea.

So you have.

Prepare the anesthesia.

Yes, doctor.
Come with me, nurse.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

Ah-ah-ah.

The anesthetic.

MAN: Yes, doctor.

Oh! No, don't put that on me!

I don't want an operation!
Don't do it!

Don't do it! Don't do it!

Don't do it! Don't do it!

[CURLY SCREAMS]

LARRY: Come on.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

The anesthetic has taken hold.

He's out like a light.

He's ready for you, doctor.

[GASPS]

It's Dr. Lerious. Quick.
The smelling salts.

Yes, doctor. Hey, you!

Quick! Quick! Get a doctor!

Is there a doctor in the house?

Quick! Quick! Get a doctor!

Is there a doctor in the house?

I'm a doctor.
Oh, doctor, how are you?

How are you?

Come on.

Move these bodies
to the crematory.

Yes, sir, the crematory.

CURLY: Crematory?

MOE:
Boy, that's a real hot foot.

LARRY: Let's get out of here.

[SCREAMS]

MOE: Come on.

Hey! Hey, come here.

MOE: Come on, boys.

[CURLY WHOOPS]

[TIRES SCREECH]

CURLY: Whoo-whoo-whoo.

Whoo-whoo.

Take it easy, mister.

We'll get you out of this.

There we are.

I'm sorry, bud.

Yeah. We'll have it all wiped
off of you right away.

Hey, it's him, Jerry,
our little insurance pal.

What are we waitin' for?

He goes in.

Hey! Take it easy. That's it.

Cut it out. Give me a bucket.

Look out. Look out.

Look out!

Hey.

[♪]