10x07 - I Can Hardly Wait

[bunniefuu]

[♪]

Pull down all the shades.
See that the coast is clear.

Come on.

[CLICK]

Hold the light.

Hey. Quiet.

Sandpaper.

[SCRATCHING]

[PANTING]

[CLICKING]

A bonanza.

Oh, I just love
bonanzas and cream.

Oh, boy. Look.

Hurry. I can hardly wait.

Okay.

Ham and egg. Ham and egg.

Butter.

The neighbors can't see in.
The shades are down.

[CHUCKLES]

Heh!

If those Japs ever knew how many
planes we turned out today,

their yellow jaundice
would turn green.

Well, hurry, hurry.
I can hardly wait.

Yeah, quit stalling. I'm so
hungry, I could eat a horse.

What do you think you
been eatin' for the last month?

No wonder every time I sneeze,
I neigh like a horse.

[CHUCKLES]

[SNEEZES THEN NEIGHS]

[SNORTS]

Nyuck, nyuck.

You make the coffee, porcupine.

You slice some bread,
empty skull.

I'll do the ham and egg.
Cabbage head.

And don't forget:
Divide everything up equally.

[SNAP, POP]

Don't worry.
You'll get what's coming to you.

Well, hurry, hurry.
I can hardly wait.

Relax.

Rest a bit. You're tired. Here.

Oh-ho-ho! Ah...

Hey, quit stalling.
I'm really hungry.

Oh, would you like to
have a little bite? Oh, yeah.

Close your eyes
and open your mouth.

Get out. Come on, get busy.

Hot java. Ha-ha-ha!

Where'd you hide that ham?

What ham?

Quit stalling. Come on.

Oh. Mustard.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

What a slice of ham.

[CHUCKLING]

[WHIMPERS]

Pardon me.
I thought you was a ham.

I never saw a slice of ham
with fingers.

That's all right, kid.
Anybody can make a mistake.

Oh, so you understand?
Oh, why, certainly.

Oh, thank you very much.
Ha-ha-ha!

[GRUNTS] [YELPS]

[WHINES THEN BARKS]

Clean this ham.

I'll clean it when I'm ready.

Are you ready? Yeah, I'm ready.

Ah!

Get--

Ooh!

You burnt my little bugle.

I'll break your bugle for you.

One slice of dry-cleaned ham
coming up.

♪ She was bred In old Kentucky ♪

♪ But she's only a crumb
Up here ♪

♪ She's knock-kneed
And double-jointed ♪

♪ With a cauliflower ear ♪

♪ Someday we shall be married ♪

♪ And if vegetables
Get too dear ♪

♪ I'll cut myself
A nice, big slice ♪

♪ Of her cauliflower ear ♪

♪ 'Cause that ain't rationed ♪

There we are.

There we are,

and there we are.

[CURLY WHINES]

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

You said you were gonna
divide everything equal.

Oh, ungrateful, eh? Yeah.

We get a half a slice of ham
and a half an egg apiece.

You get a whole bone
and a whole eggshell,

and you're squawkin'.

I'm sorry, Moe.
Gee, you fellas are swell to me.

That's more like it.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck,
nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

[GULPS HARSHLY]

[GULPS HARSHLY]

[SPLASH]

Oh.

If I had my music,
I could play it.

[YODELING]

[BOTH GRUNT] Give me that.

[WHINES THEN GRUNTS]

[YELPS]

[SPITS]

Oh. A bone-y.

Oh! Ooh! Oh, my tooth.

I broke a tooth.
It's killin' me.

Oh, my poor, little, sweet,
little, cute, little tooth.

It's killin' me.
Shut up. Go to bed.

In the morning,
the pain will be gone.

[WHINES]

This is your fault,
you bonehead.

[BARKING]

MOE: Oh!

[WHIMPERS]

Oh. Oh, my tooth.
Oh, it's killin' me. Oh.

I told you to go to sleep,
didn't I?

I can't sleep. My tooth hurts.

I'll fix that right now.

Oh! My foot. Oh.

There, you see?
Your toothache's gone.

Oh, no, my tooth. Oh, my foot.

Oh, my... tooth. Ooh.

Go on upstairs to bed.

Oh. Oh!

[GROANING]

You too. Come on.

Oh. Oh, my poor little tooth.

[WHIMPERING]

Be quiet and go to sleep.

How can I go to sleep
with this tooth killin' me?

All right, come on down,
and we'll fix it.

Ohh. Ohh.

Ohhh. Ohhh.

[GRUNTING]

I oughta-- Whoa!

[GRUNTING]

You chucklehead. Why don't you
look where you're walkin'?

What, do you expect me
to have eyes in my feet?

Oh! Listen, you.

What?
It's my tooth. It's killin' me.

Let me see. Is it there?

[WHIMPERING]

[BLUBBERING]

All right, all right, all right.

Get the hot-water bottle,
porcupine.

You get in my bed.

Come on, get around in there.

Cover up
and stay over close to the wall.

Here, over close. Ooh.

All right-- Ooh! Ohh. Oh, oh!

I got the bottle,
but I couldn't find a stopper.

Here's a cork that'll fit,
though.

Okay, we'll try it.

[MUTTERING]

Oop. What's the matter with you?

You better help me up.

A general nuisance here.
Come on.

Hike. Oh!

Get in there.

Go to sleep. Ah...

My poor tooth. Aw, shut up.

Here. Put your head
on that hot-water bottle.

Sorta cheek to cheek?

Yeah, cheek to cheek,
cheek, cheek.

Oh, my tooth, my tooth,
my tooth--

[YELLS] [YELPS]

Get outta this bed!
Get outta this bed!

Eh-- Look out.

Get up in your own bed.
Get up, get up.

Oh! Oh!

[WHINES]

[WHIMPERS]

[YELLS]

[YELPING]

Shut up. Help me up.

Oh, it's a pleasure
to get rid of you.

Get up there. Go on.

Ow!

[MOANING]

Oh, my tooth.

[GROANING]

[SNORING]

Oh, my tooth. Oh, my tooth. Oh.

Feels like gremlins
are "gremling" in it.

Come on down, and we'll fix
that tooth for you right now.

[MOANING]

[ALL GRUNTING]

You numbskull. I'll m*rder you.

Oh, my poor tooth. Fix it.

Go get my fishing line.
Is this gonna hurt?

Of course not.
I won't even feel it.

Oh, thanks. Open your mouth.

There we are.
Hold what you got, now, kid.

Everything will be all right
in a second.

[YELPS THEN WHINES]

Shorten up on your line.

Oh!

How is he, pretty heavy?

Yeah.

[WHINING]

[WHIMPERING]

[WHINING]

Oh!

Hold my head up.

Broke. How do you like that?

The biggest one I ever had,
and he got away.

This is not gonna work.

I got a better idea.
I've got it.

Every time you got it, I get it.

Come here, mastermind.

You go outta that door,

and when I say "go," open it.

That's all. Have no fear. Okay.

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ooh!

All right,
come on over here, man-of-w*r.

[WHIMPERS]

This is the way
we do things right.

Okay.

All right?

Go.

[GRUNTS, WHIMPERING]

You almost broke my skull.

You're supposed to pull
my tooth.

Take it easy, kid. I'm sorry.

Just back up.

Oh...

All right? Right.

Whoo-hoo! Look at that tooth.

It's a whopper.

And look at that root.

Say, if I belonged to the Elks,

I'd wear this
on my watch-chain...

if I had a watch-chain.

You pumpkinhead.
That's not your tooth.

That's the doorknob.

Oh. No wonder
my tooth still hurts me.

Oh! Oh! Oh!

My poor, little,
sweet, little, adorable,

lovable, sweet, little,
butchy-wutchy tooth.

Listen,
we gotta get that tooth out,

or we'll never get to sleep.

I got it. Again?

This idea
will revolutionize dentistry.

I never knew
this would start a revolution.

Now, you got nothin'
to worry about, kid, see?

Tie this up here like that.

Now, when I say "three,"

all you gotta do
is jump off the ladder.

And your tooth comes out...
like that.

Somethin' tells me
I shouldn't do this.

Oh, don't be nervous.

All right, now,
you watch for my countin'.

Ready. One... two...

Two and a half.

Quiet.

Three.

[YELPING]

I...

[MUFFLED] It's out.

You got it. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

You got another one.
Ha-ha-ha-ha!

You got 'em all.

You got me baldheaded
in the mouth.

Why, you...

[GRUNTS, WHIMPERS]

My tooth. What's the matter?

I'm through... definitely.

All right,
then you go to the dentist.

Oh, no, please, no. Not that.

Oh, my tooth.

Hey, why don't we blast?
[WHISPERS] With what?

I still got a giant firecracker
from the Fourth of July.

At last,
you got a hunk of brain.

Yeah? Where'd I get it?

Never mind. Go on.

What is he gonna do now?
Aw, take it easy. Relax.

It'll be over in a flash.

Close your eyes
and open your mouth.

But remember,
this is the last time.

You said it.

Close.

[WHIMPERS]

Hey, Moe! Shut up.

[WHIMPERS] Shut up!

[expl*si*n]

Ow! Ow!

[SCREAMING]

This is it.

CURLY: I'm not
afraid. I'm not afraid.

What a liar I am.

Hello, Mrs. Smith?

Dr. Tug wants to know
when your husband

is having those other teeth
pulled.

Oh, he d*ed
after the last extraction.

[WHIMPERS FAINTLY]

[WHINES]

MAN: Owww!

[WHIMPERING]

[GROANING]

Hey, wait a minute.
I'm not through yet.

Oh, yes, you are.

Say, what did you do
before you became a dentist?

Why, uh, I-- I was a butcher.

[WHIMPERS]

[SPUTTERS]

As far as I'm concerned,
you're still one.

TUG: Right this way, gentlemen.

Look, doc,
we're defense workers.

If you wanna cut down
on absenteeism,

yank this guy's tooth.

He won't let us sleep.
He's sabotaging the w*r effort.

What do you say?
Why, it'd be a pleasure.

Say, sugar,

how'd you like to come over
to my house and see my coffee?

Fresh. Oh, yeah. Ground today.

Just a moment, now.

Please.

[GOBBLES]

I-- I just wanna test
your tooth for sensitivity.

Come on, now, open your mouth.

Ungh!
That's it, now let me see--

Ow!

Oh! He cut me with that Kn*fe.

He's a butcher, I tell you.
I heard the other fella say so.

Get outta my way.

Come here, come here.
Let me get outta here.

You can't get outta here.
Sit down. Sit down.

There.

You calm him down

while I go and consult
with my partner, Dr. Yank.

Oh! No!

Oh, me! Oh, my! Oh, woe is me!

You're a coward.
You got nothin' to be afraid of.

Step aside. I'll show you.

Sit in the chair
and be calm. Relax.

That screwy patient needs his
first-right bicuspid extracted.

So what?

He's got me so worn out
from fighting with him,

I haven't got the strength
to do it.

You take him.

All right. I'll fix it. Ahem.

[MUTTERS]

You relax in the chair
and close your eyes, like this.

Then you won't see
what he's doin',

and before you know it,
it's all over.

[LAUGHS]

Mmph! Mmph! Hey, doc.

There's somethin' I
oughta tell you. Not now.

But you don't understand--

Hand me that towel.

Doc, listen. You see--

Quiet.

Please do as I say.
I've got to work fast.

Here.

[CREAKING]

[MOANING]

[WHIMPERS]

Ah, there it is.
A perfect extraction.

Here, hold that just a second.

[WHIMPERS] I'll be right back.

Say, doc.

He's not the patient. I am.

Ohh.

Heh-heh.

Why, you numbskull.

But, Moe--
You double-crossin' rat, you.

Pullin' my tooth
when my back is turned.

Ooh! Ooh!

I-- Ooh! Ooh!

[HUFFING, WHINES]

Where am I?

What are you doing down there?

What happened? Nothin' yet.

Oh! Ohh. Ooh. Ooh.

Hey, look.
You knocked my tooth out.

Good. Now maybe we can
get some sleep. Good night.

Good night. Good night.

[SNORING LOUDLY]

Whoo-whoo.

[♪]