12x01 - Three Pests in a Mess (1945)

[bunniefuu]

[♪]

Yes, yes. Okay,
will you quit worrying?

I'll find them.
Something big, boss?

Is grand big? [WHISTLES]

Sounds like the mint.
What is it?

Three mugs have the winning
sweepstakes tickets

worth , bucks.

Who are they? I don't know.

Two of them are short
and funny looking.

And the guy who bought
the ticket

is fat with no hair and has two
hearts tattooed on his chest.

All we gotta do is find them.

And out of , fat guys
you're gonna find one

with two hearts
tattooed on his chest.

With your help.

"Patents bought and sold."
This is the place.

Now remember, no less
than $ for the invention.

Okay.

Ooh! Ooh-hoo-hoo!

Well, what is it? What is it?

What is it? What is it?

Nothing. Nothing.

Nothing. See you later.

Wait a minute.
Is the patent man in?

Why, that's me.

Well, we got a patent
we wanna sell.

A flycatcher. How does it work?

Oh, it's simple-- That's enough.

You see, a fly being
a nosy animal,

he crawls into this little hole,

sees the steps,
and starts climbing.

The kitchen's on the top floor,

He goes up to see
what's cooking. Ha!

What, no elevator?

Don't be ridiculous.
How do you like this dope?

That's enough. I'll tell this.

And when the fly gets to the top

still being dizzy and nosy,

he looks down,
sees himself in the mirror.

Thinking it's another
fly he gets b*rned up.

He thinks this fly's cutting
in on his territory.

Get it?

So he jumps down,
lands on his stomach

and knocks his brains out.
A beautiful sight.

And simple, isn't it? Very.

At a penny a fly,
there's millions in it.

Well, when you make your
first $,

bring it in and I'll give you
a patent.

Oh, boy. We're in the money.

Hey, brainy, at a penny a fly

how many flies do we have to
catch to make $?

[TYPEWRITER CLACKING]

[CARRIAGE CREAKS]

[TYPEWRITER CLACKING]

[CARRIAGE CREAKS]

[TYPEWRITER CLUNKS]

[PAPER RIPS]

MOE: A hundred thousand.

A hundred thousand.

MOE: A hundred thousand.
LARRY: A hundred thousand?

[SOBS]

What's the matter, little girl?

You wouldn't understand
with all that money.

I'm just a poor little orphan.

Nobody loves me
and I haven't any food.

I'll love you and they'll
get you some food.

You mean you haven't
had anything to eat?

No. This morning
I went to the cupboard

to get my poor self a bone.

But when I got there,
the cupboard was bare.

Not even a bottle was there.

[NOSE HONKS]

[NOSE HONKS]

Go on, get her a bottle.

[SOBBING]

Hey. You know how hard it is
to get a bottle these days.

Milk, you numbskull. Oh.

You get the milk,
I'll get the bread.

And you--
Oh, don't leave me alone!

I'll stay with her.

Why...

Go on!

[CURLY YELPS]

[GIGGLES]

[DOOR CLOSES]

Won't you take your
coat off and get comfortable?

Won't you sit down?

I'm going to rumple your hair.

[WHOOPING]

You're such a big, strong man.

I'll bet you've got
two hearts right here.

Oh! I think
you got something there.

I think I have. Come on,
let me see your hearts.

No, I don't wanna.
Oh, let me see.

No!

WOMAN: Come on.
CURLY: Don't do that.

I said don't--

[SCREAMS]

[WHIMPERING]

Are you hurt?
I think I'm stabbed.

Oh. Look what you did
to my knitting needles.

It didn't do me any good either.

Oh, come on, let's sit down.

Now, let's see those hearts.

I said no!

Hm. Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.
Another one.

[CHUCKLES] Oh, so you have.

[CHUCKLES]

Hm. Hm.

Mm!

Mm!

[ULULATES]

That's it. You hit the bottom.

Oh, it must be wonderful
to have a hundred thousand.

Did you get it yet?

Oh, you mean my flycatcher?

Certainly. We'll have
, flies just like that.

Not dollars?

No, flies.

Why, you double-crosser!

[GRUNTS] Oh!

Oh!

Ah! Look out, now! Ah--!

Get out of here!

Ah--! Ah--! Ah--! Ah--!

You see what you did
when I get the--

Ah--! Ah--! Ah--! Ah--!

[BOTH HUMMING]

Hup! Hup!

BOTH: ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪

WOMAN:
Oh! Oh! You get out of here!

CURLY: Whoo-whoo-whoo!
WOMAN: Get out!

Go, now!

Why, that wolf. Stand aside.

Get out!

Ah--! Ah--!

Ah--! Ah--!

What's the idea, porter?

[LAUGHS]

Mammy!

Pappy!

Get away from here!

What do you mean "porter"?

Open that door!

[JIGGLING DOORKNOB]

[KNOCKS]

Gonna hit him with the water?

No, I'm gonna
throw the water away

and hit him with the bucket.

Ooh!

[SHRIEKS]

ALL: Oh! Oh!

Why, you--

They tried to drown me!

As a matter of fact, they did.

[MOE YELPS]

ALL: Oh!

Come on, open that door!

Come on, we'll get in there.

[ALL MUTTERING]

Ooh! Mm!

Open that door!

Why you...

Another step and I'll fire--

You nitwit. What are
you trying to do?

It wasn't me.
All I did was this.

You sh*t that guy.

And k*lled him too.
Ah--! Ah--! Ah--!

Come on.

[ALL SCREAM]

Open that door!

We better get out of here.

Wait a minute.
We better take him along

so they won't know
you k*lled him.

[GROANS] Give me that rag.

It's a bag. Quick,
we'll stuff him in it.

Hurry up. He's getting stiff.

Okay. See the trouble
you got us into?

Pull it all the way up
around his neck

and hide him good.

Boy, is he stiff.

Slim just called and he has
the guy who won the ,.

Did he get the dough? Yeah.

And after he paid his income tax
he had just bucks left.

Take it easy now, kid.
Come on. Hurry up.

We gotta find a place
to hide it.

Hey, stuff him in that barrel.

Get him all the way
in so nobody can see him.

Way down.

Hey, what are you guys up to?

We couldn't help it.
It was an accident.

Or a su1c1de.

Can't you read that sign?

Now take that trash
and get out of here.

You heard him. Take that trash
and get out of here.

But that ain't the-- Shut up!

You heard what the officer said.

Take the trash
and get out of here.

Just trash. Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

m*rder.

Come on with that rubbish guy.

Come on.

Hey, come back here,
you murderers!

ALL: Ah--! Ah--! Ah--!

[DOG BAYING]

Well, this is the place.
Ever Rest Pet Cemetery.

Do you think he was
somebody's pet?

What difference
does it make? Come on.

[OWL HOOTS]

Go on, go on.

[OWL HOOTING]

[SCREAMS]

Shh! What's the matter?

Somebody just ran by me.

What did they look like?

He was running
on his hands and knees.

Yeah? Yeah.

He had a big head
and long curls.

Wait a minute. Why can't we
bury him out in the street?

What? And have somebody run
over him and k*ll him again?

We're gonna bury him right here.

Ah--!

[WHIMPERS]

[YELPS]

[WHIMPERING]

[YELPS]

[GROANS]

Mm!

Ah--! Ah--!

[GRUNTS]

Mm!

[YELPS]

[MUTTERING]

Hey, Moe! Hey, Larry!

Hey, Moe! Hey, Larry!

[CURLY WHIMPERING]

Oh!

What's the matter with you?

You know that dead guy? Yeah.

He just slapped me.

You mean like this?

Yeah, just like that,
only on the other side.

Where's the body?
I ain't got no body.

I lost it.
Well, you better go find it.

Ah--! Ah--!

[RINGS]

Hello. Hello, Mr. Black?

There's problems
in the cemetery.

You better come on over.

Oh, but I can't.
I'm giving a masquerade party.

Yeah--

Oh. All right,
we'll be right over.

Get Joe. There's something
wrong at the cemetery.

CURLY:
Let's leave the body here.

MOE: No, sir. You k*lled him

and you're gonna bury him.

[CURLY WHIMPERS]

I don't see why
we have to do that.

There he is, you chucklehead.

Bring him over here.

Mm!

This is all your fault.

[GROANS]

Mm.

Did you kick me? No.

Well, it's a good thing
you didn't,

because if you had,
I would've-- I--

[WHIMPERS]

We'll spread out
and search the grounds.

If you spot anyone, whistle.

Hm.

[PHONE RINGS]

Shh! Quiet.

[PHONE RINGS]

Hello.

Call for Philip Black!

Call for Philip-- I'm Mr. Black.

Phone, sir.

Ah--! Ah--!

Oh!

[SPUTTERING]

[GRUNTING]

I wonder where that lunkhead is.

I don't know and I don't care.
All I wanna do is get out.

There's nothing to be
afraid of in here.

Everything is dead.

I think I see
something over there.

Come on, follow me.

Larry, are you behind me?

If you ain't, don't answer me.

[GRUNTS]

[YELPS]

Oh!

Open the door! Open the door!

Open the door!

[SCREAMS]

Hey, Larry! Hurry up!
It's Moe! It's--

Ah--! Ah--! Ah--!

Where have you been--? Ah--!

[WHIMPERS]

[SCREAMS]

Hey, Moe! Hey, Larry!
I found the body!

Let's get out of here.
Never mind that.

I saw a big hole over there.

Let's bury him
and we'll get out of here.

Pick him up.

MOE:
It was around here someplace.

Quick. We'll hide in the hole
and maybe we can catch them.

Here it is.

Throw him in,
we'll cover him up.

Ah--! No, no.

I said throw him in
and cover him up.

I did!

I suppose he walked
back by himself.

Now, throw him in.

Mm! We'll keep a sharp lookout.

[GRUNTS]

Ah--! Ah--! Ah--!

Mm!

Why don't you make up
your mind? Are you a yo-yo?

Mm!

Oh!

Boy... Hey, Moe! Hey, Larry!

Mm! What's the matter?

He walked out
and kicked me in the mouth.

I'll kick you in the mouth.

Come on. Get your shovel
and cover him up.

Hurry up.

MEN: Hey! Hey!

What are you yelling about?

That wasn't me.

[ALL WHIMPERING]

CURLY: Whoo-whoo-whoo!

[♪]