24x04 - Space Ship Sappy

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

♪ Hello ♪

♪ Hello ♪

♪ Hello ♪

STOOGES:
Hello.

[♪♪♪]

[BIRD CHIRPING]

Hey, Larry, come here,
listen to this.

Rockwood Steel,
and a half, down two.

Ranacoma Copper,
, down four.

Boy, the market's
really slipping.

How's your American can?

Oh, that's
slipping too.

But Pinpoint Pimple
is up six.

It is?
Squeeze it.

Ha-ha-ha--
Oh, oh.

JOE:
Hey, fellas, come here

What do you want?
Moe, you should be looking

through the want ads for a job.

Yeah, we haven't had
a decent meal in days.

Well, if you wait
just one more minute

you're liable
to get some food.

Check the dinner,
see if it's done.

Check the dinner,
see if it's done.

Look what we're down to.

Fill your soul in heel.

That looks delicious to me.

Oh, delicious.

Hey, I'll tell you what,

Larry, you brown it.

Joe, grease your pan.

What are you
going to do?

Grease my pan?
I'm gonna relax.

Ooh.

Man, I think
this is silly.

Hey, hey,
what are you doing?

Well you told me
to grease my pan.

You stupe,
wipe your face.

I'll set
the table.

I don't care what you say,
we-we need a job.

Okay, okay,
I'll try to find us a job.

Even if it kills me.

It probably will.

[SCREAMING]

Hey, fellas!
Hey, fellas!

Larry.

Oh.

Hey, it's raining.

Hey, it's a good thing
I saved the paper.

Oh, you sneak.

Cut it out.
Listen to this.

"Wanted: three sailors
for adventurous cruise.

"Apply: Professor Rimple,

Bayview Road."

Hey, that's only
down the road a piece.

Well, let's go,
let's get the job.

Come on.

Wait for me, fellas,
I forgot something.

Ah, ah, ah,
that's hot.

[SHOE HISSING]

[SCREAMING]

[BOTH SINGING GIBBERISH]

Hey, fellas.
There it is.

Professor A.K. Rimple,
number .

That's the place.

Hey, dig the crazy house
the professor lives in.

Yeah,
contemporarily modern.

I think the professor's
got a pointed head.

[ALL LAUGHING]

[SCREAMS]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Oh, gee, father, I hope these
men don't refuse the job

like the other
applicants did.

Don't worry, these men
we will tell nothing.

Close the curtains.

That's good, now just
don't say anything.

Come in.

Good morning, did you
advertise for some sailors?

Yes, could you
read a log?

Oh, we read logs,
signs on fence posts,

comic books.

No, no, no,
you see, what I nee--

Wait a minute.

What's our
remuneration?

Never mind that,
what's our salary?

Y-- Oh, yeah,
the salary.

Three hundred
dollars a month.

Three hundred?

Hey, how much
is that a day, Joe?

Just a second.

[CASH REGISTER CLICKING]

A dollar .

Exactly what
I figured.

Good thinking, kid, the old
IBM is still going great.

Now, listen.
Don't let him bluff us.

Father.
Yes.

I think these men
have lost their marbles.

This is good,
this is good.

That's why they don't
ask too many questions.

Uh, gentlemen.

Who came in?

I have decided that
I'm going to hire you.

We will travel immediately,
if not sooner.

My daughter Lisa will
take care of you. Lisa.

All right,
boys roll up your sleeves,

I'll be right back.

STOOGES:
Boy, we got a job.

[ALL CLAMORING]

Get out of here.

Why did you
do that for?

You heard her,
roll up your right sleeve.

Maybe we'll get
a tattoo.

Yeah, I'll put
a battleship on mine.

No, that's for your chest.

I'm gonna have
"Darling Sweetheart,

I'll love you
forever more, my heat."

All right, boys,
take these pills.

Anything for you, cutie.

He had heartburn anyhow.

[ALL CHOKING]

[BOTH CRY OUT]

You're next.

Oh, no,
you're not.

Oh, you're not gonna
do that to me.

What's the matter,
you afraid?

Yes.

Oh, chicken, eh?
Come on.

[SCREAMING]

Take it easy.
Easy, now.

Easy.

[CRIES OUT]

[LAUGHING]

"They can't do that to me",
he says. Look at--

[CRIES OUT]

[JOE AND LARRY WHIMPERING]

Now I'll have to eat
standing up.

Am I bleeding?

Prepare to ascend.

[MACHINERY WHIRRING]

[MOTOR ROARING]

It's an earthquake,
it's an earthquake!

This is not an earthquake.

The ship has just embarked.

Ship?

This is no ship.

Of course it is.
It's a space ship.

STOOGES:
Space ship?

JOE: I'm calling the police.
I'm getting out of here.

MOE:
You hornswoggled us.

LARRY:
Good grief,
we're above the world.

[GROANING]

JOE:
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute, Larry.

Take it easy, now.
Take it easy. Take it--

[THUDS]

Larry is gone. Look.

Look.

LARRY:
Help!

Moe. Joe.
I'm slipping.

Joe, come on,
let's get him.

[LARRY SCREAMS]

LARRY: Pull me up.
Come on, Larry.

I'm getting dizzy.

Take it easy.
Oh.

MOE:
Take it easy now.

Don't you dare
open that door again.

Do you realize we are
traveling in a rate

of , chrono-cycles
a second?

If it ain't asking too much,
where are we going?

To the moon.

STOOGES:
Oh--

To the moon!

But first we go
to the planet of Sunev.

Sunev?
I never heard of it.

It is a secret.

That's "Venus"
spelled backwards.

But don't you
tell somebody.

Hey, we'll all be k*lled.

k*lled?
I-I don't wanna die.

I-I can't die.

I haven't seen The Eddy
Duchin Story yet and I--

We're traveling smoothly.

Ah, the anticipation.

Oh, I think so that
we're approaching Sunev.

Wait until
you see Sunev.

It is the most beautiful
in my live I have n--

This is the most--

I wonder what it looks like.

So do we. Come on.

I don't see Sunev--
Look!

There's a big
funny looking bird

and he's laying eggs
all over the sky.

Dozens of them.

Boy, I hope they're scrambled.

Eggs all over the sky.

Get away and let me see.

There, was I right?

Yeah.

[SPUTTERS]

Ah.

Stand by for landing.

Descending
normally.

Engine.

Ten, eight,

six, four,

two.

[CRASHING]

We are on Sunev.

We've landed on Sunev.

And the sooner we leave,
the better we'll like it.

Father.
Yes.

Father, the air test gauge
shows the air outside

to be the same
as on Earth.

Oh, smog.

Good, then we will
not need space helmets.

Pardon me, please, gentlemen,

I want you to go out
and explore this planet

and see what you can find.

But pay strict attention
to flora and fauna.

Oh, boy, dames.

Girls.
Let's go.

I never thought
someone long

I lived to be
would be--

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

[ANIMALS GRUNTING]

Ay-ay-ay.
Ay-ay-ay.

Viva, viva.
Viva, viva.

Yum.
Viva, yummy.

Ay-ay-ay.

Oh, father, father.
What?

This planet is inhabited
by cannibalistic Amazons.

Look, their cooking pot.

What's cooking?

Let's explore this place
very carefully.

Yeah, and keep an eye open
for flora and fauna.

Yeah, I'll keep
'em both open.

Hey, this joint
looks deserted.

In fact, I think
it's uninhabited.

Yeah, and there's nobody
lives here either.

Yeah, what a wonderful
place for a honeymoon.

Ah, where would
you get coffee?

[BOTH GASP]

Hey, there's flora,
fauna and another one.

Boy, they're
tall ones.

Hi, girls.
Hi.

Ay-ay-ay.
Viva.

Ay-ay-ay.
Viva.

Ay-ay-ay.

Ay-ay-ay.

Get a load of that
rock and roll dialogue.

They must have
heard Elvis Presley.

Ha-ha-ha, you like
to smooch with nice men?

AMAZONS:
Ay-ay-ay.

The ayes have it.
Ay-ay-ay.

[SKIN CRUNCHING]

[SCREAMING]

[SKIN CRUNCHING]

Ooh. Ooh. Ooh.

Ooh.

[LAUGHING]

[GRUNTING]
[SKIN CRUNCHING]

Whoo, what a--

Hey, fellas, come here.

This girls don't
know how to kiss.

L-Let's teach 'em.

I know all about it.

When I walk down the street
all the girls say:

"Look at that kisser."

Yeah, come on,
let's teach 'em.

[ALL KISSING NOISILY]

Ay-ay-ay.

STOOGES:
Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay.

Who's teaching who?

Father, you must
go and save them.

Yeah, I go right--

What? And get eaten
by those Amazons?

No, wait, I'll tell
you what I do,

I'll go warn the boys.
Here, look there.

Now, hear this:

RIMPLE [ON PA]:
Those women are wild.

They are vampires.

Be careful.

For they will
love you to death.

Love you to death?

What a wonderful
way to die.

You know, my Uncle Peter
d*ed that way?

Took the undertaker two days
to wipe the smile off his face.

No.

Yes.

Ah, that professor's silly.

This innocent kids
wouldn't hurt a fly.

They're sweet
as babies.

[STOOGES GAGGING]

[STOOGES LAUGHING]

Father.
Yeah?

Father, look, those girls,
they're tickling them to death.

[STOOGES LAUGHING]

[LAUGHING]

[LAUGHING]

[LAUGHING]

[SPUTTERS]

Ay-ay-ay.
Viva.

Ay-ay-ay.

Ay-ay-ay.
Ay-ay-ay.

[STOOGES SCREAMING]

[CREATURE GROWLS]

[AMAZONS SCREAMING]

Hey, I wonder
what made them run.

They probably got a good
look at your kisser.

What a fine time
to joke.

[CREATURE GROWLS]

[BOTH SCREAM]

[GROWLING]

[SCREAMS]

[STOOGES SCREAMING]

MOE:
Help, help, tear me loose, here.

Help.

Moe,
get me out of here.

Hold still, kid.

Moe, the monster
is coming.

This Kn*fe
won't cut cheese.

That's a fine time to tell me.
Hurry, Moe.

Oh, Moe.
Oh, that's good.

Oh.
[ANIMAL GROWLS]

Moe!

[STOOGES SCREAM]

Oh, they're coming,
they're coming.

Yeah, they're coming,
we got to open the door.

[THUDS, LISA SCREAMS]
Professor.

Professor.

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

Professor,
l-l-let's get out of here.

Yeah, wake up and get
this thing started,

the monster will eat us space
ship and all.

Hey, the door must
have knocked out cold.

Hey, we better take
this ship out ourselves.

Come on.
Come on.

We don't know
how to run this thing.

Don't worry, whatever goes up
must come down.

Get busy.
Get busy.

[MACHINERY WHIRRING]

[SCREAMING]

Ooh. Ooh.

Hey, fellas,
I know how to run this.

I used to fly a kite.
Good, good.

Ignition switch: on.

Starter: on.

Throttle.

[MACHINERY SPEEDING UP]

Here we go.
Moving up.

[RUMBLING]

Good grief, I--
I broke the control lever.

[GASPS]

What did you guys do?
You got me out of control.

Help!

Give help!

JOE:
Hang on, boys,

gravity is holding us.

We'll be da--
Dashed to pieces.

Gentlemen,
it gives me great pleasure

to have the honor
of presenting to you

this distinguished award.

You have won first prize
for being the biggest liars

in the world today.

Won't you say
a few words, please?

[CROWD CLAPPING]

Fellow, liars...

[ALL SPEAKING AT ONCE]

Hey, one fool at the time.

JOE AND LARRY:
Go ahead.

Ha-ha-ha.
Recede.

Ooh, oh.

And I thank you.

[♪♪♪]