Milward (Larry): It's beautiful, isn't it? Another job well done!
(Cavis (Bob) sighs)
Millward: What's wrong, Cavis?
Cavis: Our careers are going nowhere, Millward.
Millward: But our work is up over London!
Little children are singing our song and...
Cavis: We're not making a difference. Look at this.
Millward: Ooh, a sale on crumpets!
Cavis: No, not that. The rest of it.
Cavis: This isn't a happy place, Millward. I wanted our songs
to bring joy and love like respectable songwriters.
If I could do one thing, just one thing,
I'd teach all of London to love! Is that much? But how?
But how? (gasps) Millward, I have an idea. Oh, the best idea I've
ever had! Millward: Better than this silly mustache?
Cavis: This is the break we've been waiting for!
Millward: I'm with ya, Cavis!
Cavis: And just in time for Christmas!
(To Mr. Nezzer) It'll be great, sir! Uh, thank you AGAIN, sir!
I don't know how we could repay you, haha, sir!
,
Mr. Nezzer: Don't worry, I'll think of something.
So long, Cavis. Millward.
Millward: Bye, Uncle Nezzer!
Cavis: Millward, is Seymour here yet?
Millward: No, not yet, Cavis.
Cavis: He said he'd be here, right?
Millward: Yep.
Cavis: He's never been late before...right?
Millward: Nope.
Cavis: When's the last time you saw him?
Millward: Yesterday.
Cavis: Maybe the new invention didn't work.
Maybe he sold it to someone else.
M-m-maybe it blew UP!
Seymour (Pa Grape): Out of the way!
Out of the way! One side One side!
Look Out there
Millward: Did you finish it?
Cavis: Yes Seymour, did ya bring it?
Seymour: Yep! Here she is!
Millward: (gasps) It's amazing! So how does it work again?
Seymour: Rocket power! You're looking at the st place
winner in the queen's horseless carriage competition.
Millward: (gasps) You won?!
Seymour: Uh, no. But I will! Next week!
Millward: That's great!
Cavis: Uh, Seymour?
Seymour: Now the Germans are working on an eternal
combustion engine.
(Cavis: Millward?) As if. And there's my
friend Stanley with his steamer.
Fat chance! No. Rocket power! That's the way it's gonna go.
Woman: Yeowch!
Seymour: Sorry!
Millward: Can I take it for a spin?
Seymour: Heh, be my guest.
Cavis: Millward?
Millward: Yes, Cavis?
Cavis: Look at that poster over there.
Millward: That poster?
Cavis: Yes, Millward. That poster. What does it say?
Millward: "The Princess and The Plumber: A Musical Spectacular!"
Cavis: Uh-huh. And what does it say under the title, Millward?
Millward: "By Cavis Appythart and Millward Phelps." That's us.
Cavis: Yes! That's us, Millward.
And when does it say the show opens?
Millward: "Christmas Eve." (gasps) Just days.
Cavis: That's right, Millward. The show opens in days,
but there's a little problem with that, Millward. Isn't there?
Millward: A problem?
Cavis: You haven't finshed writing it yet!
Millward: Oh yeah. Well, I'm stuck on a rhyme.
Cavis: He's stuck on a rhyme.
Millward: Possum.
Seymour: Possum.
Cavis: Seymour, did you bring the equipment?
Seymour: Yeah, it's right here.
Cavis: Millward, I need you to write that script.
I need you to write like the wind.
Millward: I'll try.
Cavis: No! We're not gonna try, Millward. No.
We're gonna do it this time! We've never had a chance like this,
Millward. If your uncle didn't like you so much, he would have
never let us use his theater.
But if the show doesnt work,
we'll be back to writing ad copies for Durling's Dental Wax.
I'm not going back, Millward. No!
This is our chance and we're gonna take it!
This is our big break, we may never get a chance again.
It's our big break so we're gonna do it right!
It's our big break,
the peas are gonna have to dance again. It's our big break,
just like opening night!
Millward: So what's in the box?
Cavis: Ha, Millward! In this modern age it isn't enough
just to have a great story anymore.
Nooo! You need to show the audience
something they've never seen before!
Millward: You've got a monkey that can yodel?
Cavis: No, Millward! Electric lights! Spectacle is the name of the game!
Millward: Woah. Cool. But doesn't the Royal Theater across town
already have electric lights?
Cavis: Sure, on the building, that's easy!
But we're gonna give 'em something that's never been done!
We're gonna string electric lights on the scenery itself!
Millward: Wow. Can you do that?
Seymour: It's a bit of a fire hazard bu-
Cavis: (interrupting Seymour) But when you get your big break,
sometimes you gotta take big chances! Right, Winston?
Winston (Jean-Claude): That's right, Monsieur Appythart!
Cavis: Cause it’s our big break!
Seymour: So we're gonna take a chance again!
Cavis: It’s our big break cause we’re running out of time!
Millward: It's our big break!
Cavis: Yeah, they want extravagance, my friend!
Millward: It's our big break!
Cavis: Now go find that rhyme!
Say, Winston, any luck with the Prince?
Winston: (To Cavis quietly) I'm talking to him right now.
(To the prince on the phone) Hello Prince!
Seymour: You mean the crown prince? Prince Frederick?
Cavis: Indeed! Heir to the throne,
and England's number theater critic—
a good word from him and the show's sure to succeed!
Seymour: So is he coming?
Cavis: Ah huhhuh,
he will be as soon as he hears what a spectacle is it
and that it stars his favorite actress, Miss Effie Pickering.
Seymour: Huh? Effie Pickering is in your musical?
Cavis: Well-hehehehe, not yet exactly.
Winston: But she is in his office.
Cavis: What? (clears his throat. To Effie Pickering)
Miss Pickering, its so good of you to come.
Effie Pickering (Madame Blueberry):
Let's cut to the chase, Monsieur Appletart.
Cavis: Appythart.
Effie Pickering:
Oui, you have minutes to convince me I should be in this musical
"The Princess and the Plum."
Cavis: (chuckles)
It's "The Princess and The Plumber." A plum is a fruit,
while a plumber is a skilled laborer who works on-uh, pipes.
Effie Pickering: Ze clock is ticking?
Cavis: Well, it's a story about a sad princess and kindly plumber
and the power of love. You see, on the night before Christmas,
the princess's sink backs up and so, of course,
she calls the plumber. Now unbeknownst to the plumber,
the princess's pipes are magic pipes.
So as he's working them on Christmas Eve-
Winston: -he is visited by the fairy peas of Christmas!
The peas:
Oh, we are the fairy peas!
We like to eat strawberry cheese.
Oh, we are the fairy peas of Christmas!
Millward: Oh, that's a good one.
Cavis: (continuing) And the Sugar Plumber Fairy.
(chuckles) Get it?
Winston: No sir, I don't really get it either,
but it will have electric lights!!
Effie Pickering: Ze Royal Theater has electric lights too.
Cavis: On the scenery?!
Effie Pickering: Can you do zat?
Cavis: Oh yeah.
Effie Pickering: Well, will ze crown prince be there?
Because you know zis show will fail without
a good word from ze crown prince.
Cavis: Ohhoho, but of course! He'll be...uh.
You defintely be.....uh. I'll be right back.
Winston: Effie Pickering? Oh oui, she's your favorite,
I know, oh oui, she would be...most definitely.......
PLEASE HOLD!
Millward: Possum....flo-ssom, flo-ssom.
Cavis: Tell me the prince is coming!
Winston: If Miss Pickering is in, zen ze Prince is in.
Cavis: Well, if the prince is in, I think Miss Pickering is in.
So you get the prince, and then I'll get Miss Pickering!
Winston: Okay, and you get ze pickering and I'll get ze prince!
Cavis: Right.
Millward: Flossom crossom? Tralalalalalossom?
Cavis: Oh ho, rest assured Prince Frederick will definitely be there!
Effie Pickering: Mmmmmm... Very intresting, Monsieur Applecart.
Let me give some thought.
Cavis: Appythart. So you’ll uh...call me tomorrow?
Effie Pickering: Zat is enough. I will be in ze show,
ze lights and ze plums and ze peas.
Cavis: Oh ho ho ho, HEY THAT'S GREAT!
Winston: So you can come? Fantastic! You will not be sorry.
Cavis: And the best thing is,
that it's all for good cause and
you see I've noticed that people in this town
don't always seem to love each other very well.
(Millward: Dossom?)
And it's my theory that a big spectacular show filled with beauty,
and...and electric lights, THAT'LL TEACH LONDON HOW TO LOVE!!
Effie Pickering: I don't rehearse before : a.m. and
I don't work with animals or children.
Good day Monsieur Applecute.
Cavis: Eh heh heh eh, Appythart!
We did it, SHE'S IN! Ha ha! THE PRINCE?
Winston: He's coming?
Millward: Schlossam....crossam...... picassom.
Cavis: This is great. Now, all we need is that rhyme!
Millward: Fossum...Gossum..b.........BLOSSOM!!!
Oh plumber, you dropped your possum.
Yes, princess, I think it is true!
I was hoping our love might BLOSSOM!
But the possum is eating my shoe!
Cavis: Gold, Millward!
That's gold! It's our first big break and if the show is really pretty.
Millward: It's our first big break!
Cavis: Then I do believe!
Millward: Our first big break!
Cavis: That we're gonna show this city how to really love,
starting Christmas Eve!
It's going just as I hoped.
What?
"All New Christmas Production. Saint Bart's Church. Christmas Eve?"
Edmond (Junior): Ok, you've got Charles Street,
Cross Street and Pudding lane.
Annie: That will take all day!
Edmond: Well then, pack a lunch!
Laura Carrot: Edmond, I can't carry anymore! I need a break.
Edmond: A break? You won't stage the biggest Christmas pageant
London has ever seen by taking a break!
Percy Pea: Edmond, I don't think I can be a sheep.
Edmond: Why not?
Percy Pea: I think I'm allergic to-ca-a-a-choo! Cotton balls.
Edmond: Wear a clothespin on your nose. You'll be fine.
Percy Pea: (groans)
Reverend Gilbert (Dad Asparagus): How's it going, Edmond?
Edmond: Pretty good, Dad!
We're a little behind schedule but if you would help
out I'm sure we could catch up!
Rev. Gilbert: Edmond, a Christmas pageant
doesn't have to be a huge spectacle, you know.
The story of Christmas is so simple, so powerful.
Sometimes a simple presentation is the best way
to let the message shine through.
Edmond: Oh, it's gonna shine all right!
I've got about pounds of glitter!
You think that's enough?
Rev. Gilbert: Well, I'd love to help but I've got an errand to run.
There's a family across town. They're out of work.
They don't have any food for Christmas.
I'm taking them some groceries.
Edmond: Oh Dad, do you have to do it now? The pageant!
Rev. Gilbert: ...Isn't as important as helping people in need, Edmond.
That's what God did on Christmas.
He came to us to help us and to show us how much he loved us.
"And she shall give birth to a son and they named him Emmanuel.
God is with us." I wanna show this family the love God showed us.
Then I'll be back.
Edmond: Alright. But bring more glitter, ok?
Rev. Gilbert: Oh, by the way, the church committee met and they decided
that you could use the Star of Christmas in your pageant,
if you're very careful with it.
Moyer will put it in the cabinet by the side table for you.
Edmond: Oh, thanks, Dad! This is gonna be GREAT!
Rev. Gillbert: Oh, excuse me, sir.
Cavis: Oh! E-excuse me!
It's just-
Just a bunch of kids putting on a church play.
I don't know why I was so worried.
After all, I am a big-time producer.
Twice awarded for exemplary work in the dental wax industry.
Wonder what a Star of Christmas is anyway?
Arthur Hollingshead (Archibald Asparagus):
Beg pardon, were you asking about the Star of Christmas?
Cavis: Uh, yeah.
Arthur Hollingshead: Yes indeed, the Star of Christmas of Canterbury.
One of the finest existing examples of th century metalwork.
Given by Saint Gregory the Great to the monks of Canterbury
August , . His astonishing gold-and-silver five-point star
later decorated
the colts of King Edward the Confessor,
William The Conqueror and James Amaphobect
before coming to rest in the church you see behind you in .
(breathes) Why did you ask?
Cavis: Well, it's nothing, really.
They're just gonna use it in a Christmas pageant.
Arthur Hollingshead: Good heavens! Are you certain?
Cavis: Yeah.
Arthur Hollingshead: That's astonishing!
The star hasn't been publicly displayed since February , ,
due to the perceived security risks from the reigns of
King Charles the Greedy and Cedric the "I'll-eat-anything-star-shaped".
That's big news!
Cavis: Who are you, exactly?
Arthur Hollingshead: Arthur Hollingshead,
reporter for The London Post Gazette.
Young man, you've given me a fine story.
Here's tuppence for your trouble. Stop the presses!
I've got a dandy! London needs to know about that pageant!
Cavis: Well, I'm sure a big paper like the Post Gazette
is too busy for a story about a little Christmas pageant.
Cavis: Right.
Millward: It says here, "The Star of Christmas hasn't been seen in
years."
It says, "All respectable citizens who want to be in attendance
for the reunveiling of this priceless artifact at the
Christmas pageant at St. Bart's Church on Christmas Eve."
Wow! We should go! This sounds great!
Seymour: Hey, that's the same night as your show.
Heh. What a coincidence!
Cavis: So this could affect our attendance a bit.
Seymour: A bit? They pretty much said you have to be
an uncultured swine to miss out on the star.
Cavis: Well, it may not be as bad as you think.
What have I said all along?
Seymour: You can't do any heavy lifting. Football injury.
Cavis: No, besides that. What's the other thing I've said all along?
You know, for any show to open successfully-
Millward: -you have to have a good word from the crown prince.
I remember!
Cavis: Exactly! All we need for opening night is the prince.
He comes, he sees it, he gives it a good word, we're a hit!
We've got it made! We don't need an audience!
We just need the prince! And unless we hear otherwise, he's coming.
(phone rings)
Millward: I'll get it (answers the phone. to the prince).
Hello? Prince Frederick? Oh, hi! Yes? You do? You will?
You are? You won't? I see. All right. Goodbye. (hangs the phone up)
(to Cavis and Seymour) That was the prince.
Cavis: And?
Millward: He loved our work on the dental wax ads...
but he's always been a fan of the star.
He'll be in the front row...at the church pageant. He's not coming.
Cavis: Okay, we can b*at this. We're smarter than this. Got any ideas?
Seymour: Uh, I've still got the receipts for the lights and the telephone.
Maybe it's not too late to get our money back.
Millward: And I think I can return the costumes,
except for maybe the one Winston spilled mustard on.
Cavis: Guys. Guys, this was our big chance.
Our big break, remember? We were gonna put on a show so big,
so beautiful, so well lit. It was gonna show London how to love.
Now maybe that isn't important to you two. Maybe you're thinking,
"Oh, there's plenty of love out there. This town is full of love!"
Well, if that's what you think, then there's no need for a show like this.
And gentlemen, let's be the first to show the way out!
Cavis: No, wait.
Seymour: Oh Cavis, shut the door. We're with ya!
Cavis: Oh, that's great, guys. The show must go on, right?
Okay, we need the prince to see our show,
but he's gonna go see the Christmas pageant.
So what do we do?
Seymour: Kidnap him! Is that legal?
Millward: Um, no.
Cavis: Come on. Let's think.
Millward: Well, I guess the only way the prince would come to our show
is if he thinks it will be more impressive than the Star of Christmas.
Seymour: Short of kidnapping, which I hear is illegal now!
Cavis: Wait what'd you say?
Seymour: Short of kidnapping, which-
Cavis: No-no-no. Millward, what'd you say?
Millward: I said the the only way the prince would come is if he thinks
our show is more impressive than the star. Which it isn't.
Cavis: No, but it could be.
Seymour and Millward: Huh
Cavis: It's our only chance to save the show.
To teach London to love.
We've got to make everything more spectacular!
We need bigger songs and bigger sets and most of all...(gasps)
Lots more lights!
Millward: Okay, from the top.
Effie Pickering: Thank you, sir, for coming. I think a have a leak.
Jimmy Gourd: Show me where the trouble is. I'd like to take a peek.
Effie Pickering:
Here beneath the counter is the place where you'll find the trouble!
Jimmy: I'd like to fix it on the double.
Millward: Great, great! Not bad huh?
Cavis: Not bad at all. It could be bigger, though.
How are we doing on the lights, Seymour?
Seymour: Well, I got more lights,
but there's no more room on the scenery.
Cavis: Hmmmmm.
Who says we can only put them on the scenery
Seymour: (chuckles nervously)
Millward: With feeling!
Jimmy: Your pipes are corroded, the water won't drain!
Your toilet exploded, you're flushing in vain!
Cavis: Great! Seymour?
Cavis: Ha. You'll have those working in no time, right, Seymour
Seymour: Eh, sure.
Cavis: Then I think it's time to call the prince!
He'll be very excited to hear about this!
Cavis: Heh. It's ringing.
Seymour: Yeah. Put this so i can keep working.
Cavis: Oh yes, Prince Frederick? Ha, yes, hello.
This is Cavis Appythart. The dental wax guy. Yes.
Well, you'll be pleased to hear that our show
"The Princess and The Plumber" is significantly more impressive now.
You might even say it's more impressive than the Star of Christmas.
Oh yes. Well, the songs are bigger. Yeah, and the sets are bigger and,
get this, we'll have electric lights on the costumes!
It's never been done before and it's quite impressive.
Yes, sir, i understand. Yes, sir. You wanna hear the song?
For happy Jills and happy Jacks, use Durling's Famous Dental Wax.
Yes, sir, it's a winner. Goodbye, sir.
Millward: What'd he say?
Cavis: He said the only way he'd come to our show was if we had
a Star of Christmas.
Millward:
If we had a Star of Christmas, how could we have a Star of Christmas?
There's only one.
Cavis: Right.
Millward: And the Church has it.
Cavis: Right.
Millward: So if there's only one and they've got it,
how could we have a Star of Christmas?
Seymour: Hey, I've got it! What's going on?
Rev. Gilbert: Well Moyer, thanks for helping out with
Ladies' Temperance League dinner.
Moyer (Scooter Carrot): Aye, Reverend.
For being so temperate, they sure can eat.
Rev. Gilbert: (chuckles) Let's just keep that to ourselves.
Say, did you put the Star of Christmas in the cabinet?
Moyer: Aye, sir. But I'm awfully nervous about leaving it out all night.
There are desperate characters in this
town who'd love to get their hands on it.
Rev. Gilbert: Oh, Moyer. Have faith in your fellow man.
Besides, anyone who wanted to have the star
would have to go through you.
Moyer: Ah, well said.
Rev. Gillbert: Prize fighting champ, World Exposition.
Moyer: Ah, second runner-up.
Rev. Gillbert: "Moyer the Destroyer."
Moyer: Aye, but me fighting days are behind me now, way back there.
Rev. Gillbert: Well, we'll lock up the church real tight tonight
just to be safe. Good night, Moyer.
Moyer: Good night, Reverend.
Cavis: (whispering) Millward, you're still here?
What are you doing?
Millward: (whispering) I'm praying to be delivered from the mighty and
forceful hand of Moyer the Destroyer.
Cavis: (quietly) Would you cut that out? If we don't get that star,
our careers in theater are over.
Oh, that must be it.
Millward: (quietly) I still don't feel good about stealing the star.
Cavis: (quietly) Oh no, no, no, we're not stealing the star.
We're just borrowing it. As soon as our show opens,
we'll bring it right back.
Millward: (quietly) We will?
Cavis: (quietly) Of course!
And besides, we're aren't doing this for us,
we're doing it for London.
Millward: (quietly) London?
Cavis: (quietly) Absolutely! London needs us to borrow the star
and they're practically begging us to borrow the star.
Millward: (quietly) I don't hear him.
Cavis: (quietly) Metaphorically speaking.
Trust me, it's the right thing to do! Wow! Would you look at that?
Millward: It looks like a turtle.
Cavis: (quietly) Well yes, I-I-I suppose if you look at it that way,
but back then I'm sure it looked like an exquisite star.
Millward: It looks like a turtle.
Cavis: (quietly) Listen, Millward,
I don't care if it looks like a chicken on a bicycle.
This is what the prince wants to see.
So this is what we're gonna put in our show.
Now grab it and let's get out of here before we wake up
what's-his-name.
Millward: (quietly) Okay.
Cavis: (whispering) Millward, do you hear something
Millward: (whispering) I don't hear anything, Cavis.
Moyer: Huh? Who goes there?
Millward: Oh dear!
Cavis: Let's get outta here.
Moyer: Hey, you there! What do ya think you're doing?
(gasps) The star! Alright, now I'm angry!
Millward: It's Moyer the Destroyer!
Cavis: Run, Millward!
MIllward: I'm way ahead of ya, Cavis!
Moyer: Get back here, ya chicken-hearted hooligans!
Cavis: See ya, Moyer the Destroyer!
Moyer: I'm gonna give ya the what for, ya scallywager raccoons!
Cavis: They're locked!
Millward: Cavis!
Moyer: Now you'll taste my wrath, ya spanky mulligans!
Millward: Cavis!
Cavis: Millward, follow me!
Moyer: I said get back here this instant before I unfurl yer
squirrelly toads! Ah! Where ya goin'?!
You're not so brave now, you monkey-headed loony dogs!
Millward: He's gonna k*ll us! (x )
Cavis: No! No! His fighting days are behind him, remember
Millward: Tell him that!
Moyer: You're gonna be singin' out the other side of your nose
when I'm through with ya, ya slimy sea donkeys!
Millward: There's no more stairs!
What do we do? What do we do
Cavis: We need to get out of the roof.
I-i think we need to go higher. Hey, this looks like a lift.
Look around for a lever or something.
Millward: Something's happening!
Moyer: You'll be burpin' out yer ears, ya dust bunnies!
Heh? You can't get away from me, wee tomato!
Millward: (gasps) Cavis! Are you okay
Moyer: You'll be wailin' louder than me goat-bladder bagpipes,
ya haggis-eating turkey-otters! I'll chase ya all the way... Heh?
Aye, that's the last straw, yo-yo tomato!
I'm gonna yo-yo you 'til yer cryin' for mercy...
Cavis: (Groans)
Millward: Cavis, are you okay?
You fell down and then you fell up. Speak to me!
Cavis: Hey, why didn't I see that before?
It leads all the way to that window.
Okay Millward, start climbing.
Millward: What? Why do I have to go first
Cavis: Would you rather stay down here with Moyer the Destroyer?
Millward: I'm on my way.
Moyer: Don't even think you can get away!
Yer trapped like a bug...
Cavis: Millward, keep climbing.
Moyer:...sticky buns...
Millward: He's getting close, Cavis.
Cavis: No no no no no. Don't lean back, Millward.
Millward: He's getting real close, Cavis!
Moyer: Yer trapped like a dog hangin' on to a big,
juicy steak that has, itself, somehow
become trapped in some way...
Cavis: Millward!
Millward and Cavis:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Laundry Person:
Why does everyone want their laundry picked up at night all of a sudden
Cavis: You okay?
Well, who would have thought we could fall of the bell tower and
live to tell about it? (starts laughing)
Millward: Crazy, huh? (Laughs along with Cavis)
Cavis: (off-screen) Are we moving?
Jimmy Gourd: Wanna talk about it?
Cavis: Uh, no. I do, though,
want to see the final dress rehearsal of the spectacular
closing number in the most extraordinary musical London has ever seen!
The musical everyone will be talking about in hours!
So let's take it from the top! Final number with lights and
the you-know-what. Ready, Seymour?
Seymour: Ready as I'll ever be.
Cavis:
Okay, the plumber has defeated the Evil Monkey King in a plunger duel.
The Sugar Plumber Fairy has turned the wicked building inspector into
a newt,
thereby declaring the castle inhabitable and reducing the need
for flood insurance and for the first time the princess
realizes it is the plumber that she's loved all along. Music.
Effie Pickering:
Plumber, you have saved me, from ze monkey king!
Jimmy: Princess, it was nothing, just a little thing!
Effie Pickering:
How could I not see it, as I took a drink,
love was right beneath my nose, underneath my sink!
Jimmy and Effie: (together)
Now we'll be so happy. No more tears or pains!
Love will flow like water running down our drains!
The peas:
With her crown and with his wrench.
He's a Brit and she's so French!
Nevermore to smell the stench of plugged up love!
Cavis: Oh, this is good. Time for the star!
Everyone:
They will come from near and far to see our love shine like a star!
Cavis: Okay...Cue the lights!
Everyone:
With her crown and with his wrench. He's a Brit and she's so French!
Nevermore to smell the stench of plugged up love!
Peas: ...Plugged up love!
Jimmy and Effie: ...Of plugged up love!
Peas: ...Plugged up love!
Jimmy and Effie: ...Of plugged up love!
Seymour: Oh, no! Fire! Fire!
Cavis: Oh no!
Seymour: Everyone! Get out!
Cavis: The star!
Millward: I-uh.
(sniffs) I'm gonna have to tell my uncle about his theater.
Cavis: The show is gone, the theater is gone.
Everyone left us here alone.
Pea : We did not leave you. Peas are loyal to ze end.
Cavis: Oh thanks, guys. Well, on the bright side,
I guess things couldn't get any worse.
Moyer: There they are! It's them, Constable!
The vicious hooligans that stole the Star of Christmas!
Pea : The end.
Cavis:
(sighs) Christmas Eve in jail. That wasn't part of the plan
Millward: (sniffs)
Cavis: Oh Millward, I'm sorry.
Millward: That's okay, Cavis. (plays the harmonica)
Cavis: I-I just wanted to teach London to love.
Charles Pitcher: Teach London to love?
(Millward stops playing the harmonica)
Cavis: Huh
Charles Pitcher: Teach London to love?
How exactly are you gonna do that?
Cavis: Well, you know.
A big stage show with great songs
and costumes and lots of electric lights.
Charles Pitcher: (laughs)
Cavis: What
Charles Pitcher: Teach London to love with light bulbs?
(continues laughing)
Cavis: Well, not all by themselves.
Charles Pitcher: Maybe you can teach London to
read with light bulbs. (continues laughing) If there was a night school.
Cavis: The costumes would help.
Charles Pitcher: (laughs then stops)
Listen gov'na, I don't know where you're from
but you're more likely to teach a horse to fly
than to teach this city to love. Or any city for that matter.
Cavis: Hasn't anyone been nice to you
Charles Pitcher: Yeah, sure, but I could be nice to you.
When they want something from ya...
(Millward stops playing the harmonica again)
I bet you're real nice to your actors when you need them,
but that ain't love. Giving up something for someone
when they don't deserve it and there's nothing in it from you,
that's love. Go into someone who needs help
when you won't get nothing back, that's love.
But I ain't never seen anything like that. Leastwise, not around here.
If you ask me, they can't teach a man to love.
It's not in his nature. (chuckles) Teach London to love over lightbulbs.
Oh, what a pip.
Constable (Jerry Gourd): Mr. Pitcher, star thieves, dinnertime.
Happy Christmas Eve. Oh yeah. Uh, you two have company.
Cavis: Huh? Oh, it must be Seymour.
He said he'd come as soon as he could.
Huh? What are you guys doing here?
Oh, I guess you're pretty mad about the star, huh?
Well go ahead, yell away. We're getting what we deserved.
Rev. Gilbert: We aren't here to yell at you.
Cavis: What?
Rev. Gilbert: We-well, it was Edmond's idea.
I've been teaching him about Christmas.
That God loved us so much, he sent his son,
Jesus, who would be called Emmanuel.
God is with us and that God came to help us
even when we didn't deserve it. Because he loved us.
So when Edmond saw what happened,
he decided we needed to do the same thing for you.
Cavis: What does that mean exactly?
Edmond: It means we aren't gonna press charges.
Rev. Gilbert: We're forgiving you. The judge says you can go.
Cavis: Oh, I can't believe this. This is-this is...
Thank you, guys. You don't have to do this
Millward: Aw, thanks, guys. This really means a lot.
You never bailed me out of jail before.
Cavis: Hey, since we don't have anything else to do,
we can come see your pageant.
Millward: Yeah!
Cavis: What ?
Rev. Gilbert: Well, the pageant starts in minutes
and it took us more than an hour to walk over here.
Cavis: Well, how are you gonna get back in time?
Rev. Gilbert: We weren't.
Cavis: You mean? You gave up the pageant just to come help us
Rev. Gilbert: Edmond didn't want to you spend Christmas in jail.
Cavis: Now you're gonna miss the pageant.
Millward: Maybe not.
Seymour:
I came here as soon as I heard.
Is there anything I could do?
Why aren't you in the slammer
Millward:
Seymour, remember how you promised I could have
the rocket carriage for a ride sometime?
Seymour: Yeah
Millward: It's time!
Rev. Gilbert: I'm not so sure about this.
Cavis: Are you sure he can drive this thing
MIllward: No problem.
Seymour:
Okay, rockets through . through were used up coming
over here. through will have to get to there. Under no
circumstances should you use rocket . It has not been tested!
Millward: Anything else?
Seymour: Oh yeah. The brakes only work if you're on the ground.
So try to stay on the ground.
Cavis: I-I didn't known that was optional.
Millward: Okay, we're off!
Seymour: So, uh, where are you going again?
Millward: We've gotta make it to the church on time! Hang on!
Seymour: This just keeps getting weirder.
Cavis: Watch it! Look out! Turn!
Millward: I don't know if i have to move this thing left to
turn left or right to turn left!
Cavis: You don't know how to steer it?!
Millward: I forgot to ask!
Rev. Gilbert: Ah, Millward! Wagon!
Millward: Left, right! No Go left!
Millward, Cavis, Edmond and Rev. Gilbert: Woah!
Cavis: Millward, another wagon! Miss it this time!
Millward: I think I've got it!
All : Woah! (x )
Millward: Not bad, huh
Rev. Gilbert: Millward!
All : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (scream, then grunt)
Cavis: Aaaaaah!
Rev. Gillbert: Aaaaaaaaah!
Edmond: Aaaaaaaaaah!
Cavis: Millward, the bank!
Millward: I can't see anything!
All : (scream, then grunt)
Millward: Look, we're bankers!
Rev. Gilbert: Huh, look at that. (sees Art Bigotti) Aaaaaaaah!
Cavis: Okay, we're okay. Everyone okay back there
Rev. Gilbert: Aaaaaaaah!
Cavis: Good. Millward, do you know where we are?
MIllward: Berry Street. We're getting close.
Cavis: How many rockets left
Millward: Last one: number .
Cavis: I hope it'll get us there.
Millward:
Hey, I think I know a shortcut through The Crystal Palace.
Cavis, Edmond and Rev. Gilbert: Millward!
Millward: Never mind.
Cavis: There's the river! Only a few more blocks and
we'll be at the church!
All : (cheering and whooping)
Millward: The last rocket! It's dying!
Cavis: And the drawbridge is going up.
Rev. Gilbert: We were so close.
Edmond: Oh well, thanks for trying guys.
Cavis: Who could have guessed we'd run out of rockets
Millward: Not completely out of rockets.
Cavis: Millward, no.
Millward: We're not completely out of rockets, Cavis!
All : No Milward
Cavis: Being light is considerable in most fashion worlds. Heheh.
Millward: Cavis, the show must go on!
All : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Edmond: Hey, I can see my house from here.
Edmond: Hey, I can see my house from here.
Millward: (screams,)
Cavis: (gasps) There's the church!
Rev. Gillbert: Shouldn't we try slowing down
Millward: The brakes only work on the ground.
Moyer: Ah, Merry Christmas, welcome!
Ah, Prince Fredrick, it's an honor having you, sir.
Prince Frederick (Mr. Lunt): The honor is mine.
Moyer: Oh, you're in for a treat tonight.
Cavis, Millward, Edmond and Rev. Gilbert:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (Rev. Gilbert: Woah!)
Moyer: Ah, thanks for coming.
Millward: We're going down!
Cavis, Edmond, Rev. Gilbert and Millward: Aaaaaaah!
Moyer: We're gonna have a good show for ya tonight.
Cavis, Edmond, Rev. Gilbert and Millward: Aaaaaaah!
Moyer: It's gonna be beautiful.
Cavis, Edmond, Rev. Gilbert and Millward:
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Crowd: (quietly) Huh?
Junior: Okay, it's time to put on the pageant.
Cavis: But Edmond, you don't have the Star if Christmas.
Edmond: Sure we do! You didn't steal the real Star of Christmas.
Cavis: We didn't
Edmond: No. The real Star of Christmas isn't something you can steal.
In fact, it isn't something at all.
Cavis: Oh, right.
Edmond: I do need a new star of Bethlehem though.
Can you guys help me out?
Cavis: Oh yeah, we can handle that.
Edmond: So Joseph went up from the town of Nazareth to Bethlehem.
He went with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and
was expecting a child. While they were there,
the time came for the baby to be born.
She wrapped him in cloth and placed him in a manger because
there was no room for them at the inn.
Annie: (whispering) Come on.
Edmond: And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby,
keeping watch over their flocks at night.
Percy Pea: (sneezes)
Edmond: An angel of the Lord came to them and they were terrified.
Annie and Percy Pea: (gasp)
Edmond: But the angel said...
Pea playing angel: Don't be afraid.
I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all people.
Today in the town of David, a savior has been born to you.
His name is Christ the Lord.
Edmond: After Jesus was born,
wise men from the east came to Jerusalem and asked...
Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews?
We saw his star in the east and have come to worship him.
Edmond: Ahem. They saw his star!
Edmond: And all this took place to fulfill what the prophet had said:
"She will give birth to a son and call him Emmanuel, God is with us."
Cavis: Huh. I think I understand.
Rev. Gilbert: What's that
Cavis: Huh? Oh.
There's only one story that can really
show us how to love and this is it.
Millward: I'm okay.
Mr. Nezzer: Millward, Cavis!
Millward: Uncle Nezzer!
Cavis: Um, Mr. Nezzer, I suppose you heard about the theater.
Mr. Nezzer: Mmm-hmm.
So I figured you two can work for my factory until it's paid off.
Cavis: That seems reasonable. I guess.
Mr. Nezzer: See ya Monday morning, bright and early.
Millward: See ya, Uncle Nezzer.
Prince Frederick: A very enjoyable performance, young man.
Edmond: Thank you, sir.
Prince Frederick: And that star, your finest work since dental wax.
Millward: Why, thank you.
Cavis: Oh, it's Moyer the Destoryer.
Moyer: Hold on a second. Look what I have found.
Cavis: What?
Rev. Gilbert: The Star of Christmas.
Millward: But...
Moyer: It was in my sock drawer all along.
I must have sent out the wrong box.
Cavis: Well, if that's the star, then what did we take
Moyer: It was our other famous relic, The Turtle of Damascus.
Not nearly as valuable, as most experts would say it's a hoax.
Millward: Told ya it looked like a turtle.
Rev. Gilbert: All things considered, I'd say things worked out pretty well.
Prince Frederick: I'd like to talk to you boys about your next production.
Cavis: I've got one more thing I need to do first.
Singer: O come, O come, Emmanuel And ransom c*ptive Israel.
That mourns in lonely exile here. Until the son of God appear.
Cavis: Merry Christmas, Mr. Pitcher.
Singer with background vocals:
Rejoice, (Rejoice) Rejoice, (Rejoice) Emmanuel Shall come to thee,
O Israel
VeggieTales: The Star of Christmas (2002)
Moderator: Maskath3