probably bt not the high end
Accommodations you're used to
Mr. Strauss-kahn, but make
Yourself at home.
did you hear what I heard?
well, we best introduce Ourselves.
Hey, we heard all about you on
The news.
mr. Dominique strauss-kahn,
Former head of the imf.
guess what, mr. Strauss-kahn,
I have a question for you.
What's the imf going to do with
The debt crisis in greece?
I'll tell you what I'd do.
I'd let them default and let
Greece out of the euro zone.
come on, give greece a chance
To settle their debt.
with what?
Greeks don't pay their taxes.
Where's the revenue going to
Come from?
They selling a trillion dollars
Worth of feta?
don't b*at on the greeks.
you know what the biggest
Greek export is?
hard-working greeks.
True, true.
strauss-kahn likes that.
yeah, you want to feel bad
For somebody?
Feel bad for the irish.
I hear that.
You got to feel for ireland.
the irish been eating dirt
And potatoes for 400 years.
You can't blame them for
Thinking it was their time for
Some happiness.
the good news is the irish
Know how to handle hard times.
They're like the germans.
what?
You can't say that.
The germans are the only ones
That know the score right now.
what about sweden?
I meant countries in the euro Zone.
when it comes to the euro
Sweden thanks od every day they
Were left out of it.
You got that, strauss-kahn?
You know what we're talking About?
He likes that one.
He's smiling a little bit.
He's in jail, but he's smiling.
all I'm saying is the germans
Are proving the only way out of
The debt crisis is measures.
You get in a jam, you got to cut Back.
you can't expect the rest of
Euuope to act like germany.
Germans are good at being as Tire.
That's their habit.
Sausage and carton of milk.
You can't expect someone in
Spain to be happy with that.
I guess germany has to pay
For Spain's sangria?
they do if they don't want it To rubble.
would you have them bail out
Portugal.
bitch, you know I have no
Love for port balanugal.
It's the dingleberry hanging off
Spain's nut sack.
when it was greece it was a
Different story.
they created democracy.
the creation of democracy is
In the past, yo.
Greece wanting respect for
Democracy is like them Wanting --
dsk knows what's I'm talking About.
it's good talking to you
Mr. Strauss-kahn.
yeah, it truly has.
So we going to r*pe you now.
yeah.
and live from new york it's
Saturday night!
announcer: It's "Saturday
Night live"!
With fred armisen
Abby elliott
Bill hader
Seth meyers
Bobby moynihan
Andy samberg
Jason sudeikis
Kenan thompson
Kristen wigg
Featuring vanessa bayer
Paul brittain
Taran killam
Nasim pedrad
Jay pharaoh
Musical guest --
Lady gaga
And your host --
Justin timberlake.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Justin timberlake!
thank youu
Thank you.
Thank you, mom.
I'm glad you're here tonight, Mom.
here we are.
I'm so happy to be here hosting
The season finale of "Saturday
Niggt live."
now, in the past when I've
Hosted this show I've also been
The musical guest, but tonight
Tonight, lady gaga is here.
Oh, yeah, I know.
I've told lorne this is great.
I mean, now there's no pressure
On me to sing, because it's
Gaga's moment.
And then he said "well, you'll
Do one song, right?"
And I said "I ddn't think so."
And he said "justin."
And I said "please."
And he said "justin."
And I said "lorne."
And he said "j -- " and I said "no."
And finally, I realized I had to
Explain it in a way he'd
Understand.
lady gaga is here, so stick Around.
We got a great show.
We'll be right back.
need a rest from your Shopping?
Stop by the grand opening of --
Steepers tea salon right there.
Got the most wonderful and
Delicate teas in town.
? like a hummingbird
Who saw the nectar
And drank ?
? keep a bag of delight
For you and me
Latch onto a cup of steeperr
Tea ?
take a moment in your busy
Day to try one of our 40
Varieties tea.
♪ yeah yeah yeah ♪
? I'm a brew boy boy boy
Watch you drink it up
Drink it drink it up
Is it big enough? ?
? drink it drink it
Baby baby
Drink it drink it
Love me love me ?
? want want want
What you want want want?
I give it to you baby like
Boom boom boom ?
? and bring it on down to
Liquorville ?
excuse me.
This is the area of the shopping
Center that I reserved to
Promote my tea shop.
If you could just scoot, that
Would be great.
Thank you..O cf1 o
actually, I think this is
What they call a common area, so
I'm just going to pop a squat
Right here.
♪ thank you ♪
common area is right.
what did you say under your
Breath, chamomile?
nothing.
? your cup is empty
That seems wrong
So let me tea bag you
All day long ?
? a pickup when your day
Is dragging
Tea bagging ?
okay.
You should really google that
Phrase.
Yeah.
And while you're doing that, get
Canadian, and check this out.
♪ what♪
? all I do is win win win
No matter what
You all get me on your mind
You can't ever get enough ?
And every time
I step up in your building
Your alcohol level goes up ?
? and it stays there
And it stays there
And it stays there
Up down up down ?
♪ up down what♪
What? ?
? big party going
Into your mouth cause
I've never been defeated
And I won't stop now ?
? bring it on down to
stop by and sample some of
Our picos from all over the
World.
How about a nice, hot oolong to
Coat your throat?
why does everything you say
Sound so nasty?
get 20% off when you join our
Frequent steepers club.
oh, speaking of clubs.
? everybody in the club
Getting tipsy
Everybody in the club
Getting tipsy ?
? everybody in the club
Getting tipsy
Everybody in the club
Getting tipsy ?
? beer here come the stout
To the amber to the ale
21 years or you're
Going to go to jail ?
? everybody in the club
Just bring it on down
To liquorville ?
Why are you looking at me like
I'm trash?
I'll have you know this is a
Recyclable bottle.
could you please relocate?
I am trying to attract a
Sophisticated clientele.
Not beer drinkers.
There is a chico's in the
Shopping center.
uh, excuse me tea bagger.
But, some very classy people
Come into our liquor store.
Don't worry, we don't just sell
Beer so chillax and stop
Whining.
? did somebody say
Wine ?
yes.
Oh, oh, they said it.
They definitely said it.
all right.
? do we pretend that fine wine
From the high shelves
Are like sh**ting stars? ?
? I could really use a drink
Right now
Drink right now
Drink right now ?
Oh my god!
? lee me talk to em
Let me talk to em
? shorty like them apple
Flavored wines wines ?
? with the whole store
Looking at her
She hit the floor ?
? I hit the floor
She hit the floor
Too much merlot ?
? bring it on down to
Liquorville ?
all right.
That's it.
I'm going to go ask
Williams-sonoma if they wouldn't
Mind me tea bagging in front of
Their entrance.&
good lord, lady.
Watch your mouth.
seriously, google it.
well, it's just you and me.
what is it they say, beer
After wine?
feeling fine.
Cause no I can't deny ?
? this hooch I havv inside
I give it all to you ?
? my beee
My endless bud ?
? bring it on down to
Liquorville ?
you're watching wspd news,
New york.
good morning, everyone.
I'm jack razolli.
and I'm wanda ramirez.
our top story toddy, a
Junior high school in long
Island has been evacuated after
A dangerous carbon monoxide Leak.
Veteran repprter herb welch is
On the scene, who this week
Celebrated his 70th year with
The network.
Hello, herb.
hello, jack.
now, herb, walk us through
What's happening at that school.
Have all the students been
Evacuated?
I've got a guy.
This is teacher, dan mcladdery.
it's mcdonald actually,
Dan mcdonald.
it's the same thing.
All right.
What happened?
well, we were told this
Morning about the leak, so I
Gathered the children and had
Them evacuate the school.
whaa -- what kind of teacher?
I'm an art teacher.
like with the macaroni and
The yarn?
I teach drawing, actually.
Like it or not, the folk scene
Is here to stay.
Back to you, jack.
no, no herb.
Hold on.
-Pstay there a minute, okay?
Does dan know what caused the Leak?
what?
does dan know wwat caused the Leak?
I don't know what caused it, Jack.
I just got here.
I know you don't know, herb.
Herb, I know you don't know. Ask him.
Do you know what caused the Leak?
hey, don't write my copy, you
Lifeguard.
What leaked?
the boilers in the school
Have been a problem for a long
Time, and I'm appalled by how &
The school has -- the school has Been --
I got a question for you.
Do you think lucille ball is a
Pinko?
I'm sorry.
Did you say lucille ball?
herb, e gotta stay on point.
name namess
Come on.
herb, does dan think school
Officials were aware of the
hey, you see the fights last Night?
come on, herb.
Herb, wanda asked you a Question.
she can go back to her Kitchen.
herb, answer her.
look, I'm not taking my
Set-ups from a hat check girl.
excuse me.
Can we talk about the students,
Please?
They were put in real danger by
Our principal.
That man right over there.
that's absolutely not true.
and that's the news.
Thank you.
herb, turn around and talk to
That principal.
Come on.
suck an egg, you mannequin.
All right.
Come here.
you suck, herb welch!
thank you.
All right.
All right.
Now, now who are you?
I'm the principal here.
My name is ken yee.
bonzai huh?
Remember me?
herb, no.
Come on.
The w*r is over, herb.
what did I do?
you blew the story.
That's what you did.
P> maybe you should more patient
With herb.
He may be old -- stop moving.
That just means that his soul is Wise.
jack, if shep cramer knew how
You anchor he'd turn over ii his
Grave.
no, he wouldn't.
He was cremated.
they b*rned my friend.
come on, pull it together,
Buddy.
you son of a bitch.
cut away from him, please.
Oh, man.
As always we apologize to you in
Communities.
Up next, we'll talk to long
Island he officials.
Thank you.
First, some very sad news.
We've just received word that
Our own herb welch d*ed five
Seconds ago.
1963.
Mr. Welch had been in bad
Health.
We go now to the scene.
Gentlemen, what happenee?
the guy staated to cough, and
Then he turned pale and he
Wasn't breathing.
unbelievable.
It appears mr. Welch is till
Alive and as unprofessional as Ever.
How is thht possible?
Rocking that ass
yeah.
♪e ♪ your mom says hi ♪
♪ jinx ♪
? yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah ?
♪ yeah ♪
? yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah ?
♪ yeah ♪
? yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah ?
Note
♪ no-no ♪
? yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah ?
? summertime in the city
And everybody's having sex
You know
You know I just got a page ?
? from a girl that
I met last week
At the payless
Shoe store ?
I got a call
Look at how you knock on the Roof
2 to 6 hours we'll meet back
And we'll roll
? roll into my cribbs
With some bartles & jaymes
How about the butts
With the alizay ?
? now hold up player
What you diggity doing In here
I was going to ask you the same
Hey boy I want you boy
I hope that you think that's ? cool
? I know much guys
Won't freak together
She forgot about the golden
Rule ?
? it's okay when it's a
Three-way
It's not gay when it's in ?
A three-way note with a honey
The iddle there's
Some lee-way ?
? the area's gray in a
One two three way
Normally I don't get down with Dudes ?
? but tonight is a special
Exception
Great
See you're my best friend ?
? through thick and thin
Now it's time to make a
Triple connection
Lights off ?
? here in the dark
Here in the dark
It's hard to tell
So harr to tell ?
? where her body ends
La la
And my homey's begins
Ew-wee ?
? this rule dates back
The golden rule
To ancient greece
Talking about cesar ?
? it's two
Jack trippers and a chrissy
The new "three's company" ?
you guys are still here?
? it's okay when it's a
Three-way
It's not gay when it's in a
Three-way ?
? with a honey in the miidle
There's some lee-way
The area is gray in a one
Two three way ?
? fellas get ready
Doing it with a chick
Helicopter [ bleep ] ?
? helicopter [ bleep ]
? do it with a chick
Do the helicopter [ bleep ]
And all of that was okaa
Maybe two is enough ?
♪ that's what they'll say ♪
? we'll say hell no ?7o cf1 o
♪ it's a three-way ♪
The golden rule ?
ladies and gentlemen, lady
Gaga.
good evening.
I'm seth meyers, and here are
Tonight's top stories.
sources are saying that a
Former egyptian special forces
Operative has been appointed the
Caretaker of al qaeda in the
Wake of bin laden's death.
He was chosen because of his
m*llitary background, his youth,
And he was the last one to shout
Not it.
president obama and israeli
Prime minister
Benjamin netanyahu met Friday at
The white house one day after
Obama called for israel to
Return to the 1967 borders.
It's hard to know what was said
At the meeting, but I'm betting
On heavy use of the word
Meshuggahna.
despite announcing that he
Would not run for president,
Donald Tr*mp insisted Monday
That if he had stayed in the
Race, he would have won the
Primary and the general
Election.
Pretty bold when you consider
The fact he's not even winning
His time slot.
it was revealed Tuesday that
Arnold schwarzenegger fathered a
Child with his house keeper.
That brings us to really with
Seth.
Really, arnold schwarzenegger?
You had an fair with the maid in
Your house?
You know, when powerful people
Have affairs, they usually put a
Little effort into it.
I mean, really.
Secret rendezvous, high-priced
Call girl.
What did you o?
Just sit in your recliner and
Point at your wiener whenever
Someone walked by?
And really, did you really think
It was a good idea for your
Mistress to work in your home
For 14 years after the affair,
Right in front of your wife?
That's so risky.
I'm not even married and I erase
My internet history every four
Hours.
Just in case I die and my mom
Comes over.
Really?
I have to say you have giant
Balls for a guy who definitely
Has tiny steroid balls.
Really?
And then it was revealed on
Wednesday that the child you
Fathered with the housekeeper
Was born days after
Maria shriver gave birth to your
Other son.
Two kids in a week.
So wait, every time I saw you
Smoking a cigar, were you just
Celebrating another baby?
You're like oprah but with
Babies.
"you get a baby, and you get a Baby!
And you get a baby!
Everybody gets a baby!"
Also, I couldn't help but notice
Every one of your movies makes a
Perfect "new york post" headline
For this story.
"junior," "twins," "true lies,"
"predator," "judgment day,"
"collateral damage," and "raw
Deal."
Thank god you passed on the
Action comedy "governor
Horndog."
And you brought the maid on
Vacation with your family.
Really?
Hotels already have maids.
That's like bringing weed tt
Amsterdam.
But really, arnold, this is the
Most important part.
If this baby is the future
Leader of the human resistance
Against our robot overlords, we
Won't forgive you, but it wiil
Help your case, really.
this has been "really?
With seth."
it was reported that the
Walt disney company has
Officially bought the trademark
To the name "s.E.A.L. Team 6,"
The name of the unit that k*lled
O*ama b*n L*den.
So get ready for a very
Disturbing sequel to "up."
the winner of the miss
Madison beauty pageant was
Forced to give up her crown this
Week after she was arrested for
Identity theft.
You know, I'm starting to think
The best way to win a beauty
Pageant is just come in second
And wait.
he ate his 25,000th big mac
And then afterwards he ate a
Piece of broccoli and d*ed.
now it's time for get in the
Kwaj.
Nicolas cage talks about their
Craft and recent work.
Please welcomeeto the cage
Nicolas cage and bradley cooper.
thank you so much.
Thank you so much for having me,
Nic.
I am really excited to "get in
The cage."
that's very kind of you,
Bradley.
Now, let's begin with a question
About your new movie, "the
Hangover part 2."
sh**t.
in it you play a gentleman
Who has a wild, drunken night in
Bangkok and then must face the
Grim repercussions.
that's correct.
so my first question is, how
Am I not in that movie?
what do you mean?
it has the two cllssic
Elements of a nic cage film.
One, I'm told the actorsswere
Given food.
Two, it's basically a sh*t for
sh*t re-creation of my life.
I'm the human hangover.
look, nic, I'm sorry that you
Weren't in "the hangover part 2."
Maybe you were too busy.
I mean, you're in every movie.
You're like a dangerous eugeee
Levy.
you seem nice, cooper
Scooper.
Nevertheless you lack the key
Ingredient to become a film
Icon.
Normadic eyebrows.
Like the gladiators of yore this
Went across the crescent moon.
That's my hairlinee and ttat's
The awe das city of hope.
I think I'm readd to get out&
Of the cage.
that happens.
there's onll one way out of
The cage.
A fight to the death.
Two men enter, two men leave.
I think it's one man leaves.
yeah, math was never my
Strong suit.
Now, in the words oo my fellow
Actor and life coach, mel
Gibson, prepare to die from
Human bites.
I'm sorry.
Mel gibson is your life coach?
yes.
who is your accountant?
wessey snipes.
just wrap it up.
fine by me, seth.
For now it's time to ride on to
My next adventure?
what's that.
I'm going to k*ll the ghost
Of O*ama b*n L*den.
nic cage and bradley cooper
Everybody!
Thank you.
on Tuesday the pillow fight
World cup was held in brooklyn,
New yook.
That's what you want.
People n the kingdom of bedbugs
Shaking their linens out in the
Open.
A nightmare.
a growing trend among
Expectant parents is to have the
Sex of their baby revealed
Through baby cakes which contain
Blue or pink icing inside,
Rather than having a doctor tell Phem.
And what could be more american
Than saying, "yeah, yeah,
Doctor, I'll believe it when I
Hear it from a dessert."
Thank you, though.
a new photo is planking
Keeping a body stiff while
Balancing on top of something,
Or what the protestants call
Sex.
a woman in pennsylvania was
Girl she was baby sithing.
Marijuana-laced margarine?
I can't believe it's pot butter.
tonight is our season
Finale, so I just want to say to
Everyone out there, thank you
For watching and have a
Wonderful summer.
You ready to go stefan?
So where are we going again?
well, it's that thing of when
A beach is covered in jellyfish
And a sunburned old man braids
Your hair.
can my girlfriend come?
no.
stefan, I think this is the
Beginning of a beautiful
Nightmare.
for "weekend update," I'm
Seth meyers.
and now it's time to play --
"what's that name?"
and here's your host,
Vince blake.
hello, and welcome to "what's
That name celebrity edition."
The rules are the same as
Always.
We show you a person, you tell
Us their name.
Ann our contestants are
Justin timberlake --
all right..O cf1 o
How are you doing?
very good, very good.
and lady gaga.
I'm ready to playyand win.
all right.
And the first question goes to
Justin.
This funky feline rapped with
"what's that name?"
I know that -- that's m.C.
Scat cat.
two steps forward, two steps
Back.
You're the man, j.T.
And you just won $10.
Next up, lady gaga.
Though best known for acting in
"the princesssbride," he also
Has written several acclaimed
Off-broadway plays.
that is wallace shawn, vince.
all right.
$10 to you.
Ready to go again, j.T.?
yeah, you know it, vince.
you know it, vince.
All right -- this next questton
Is worth $100,000.
And here to read the clue is the
Woman herself.
we made love at the w hotel
Two weeks ago.
It was after your premiere.
You told me I was beautiful,
And -- to never give up on my
Photography.
What's my name?
hey, girl.
You look good.
I know.
That's why you had sex wwth me.
What'' my name?
We had an inside joke about how
My feet were cold.
What's my name?
a hot lady like you has got
To have a hot name.
So -- cheyenne.
audience, "what's that name?"
amy.
maybe you would have
Remembered me if I was a rapping
Cat.
Good takedown.
okay, look.
What the hell kind of show is
This?
it's "what's that name"
Celebrity edition.
Okay.
Lady gaga, you're up next.
get ready, gaga.
This game's tough.
we've got another walk-on
Clue.
sorry, you don't know me.
You know, I saw your monster
Show, and I hung out by the
Stage door.
alphonse.
how did you remember him?
he said he lovvd my music.
You don't forget sooething like That.
The woman next to you in the
Jazzy, that was your sister,
Marie, right?
yeah.
Yes, you know, her knees are Lousy.
go see my guy at lennox hill.
He's the best.
And tell him to send me the
I pray for you in church.
and I for you.
this show is awful!
I think you're awful..O cf1 o
look, man, I'm just trying to
Raise money for my charity,
"the hope foundation."
oh, and what do they do?
well, they -- they --
They raise hope -- for thh --
if I may, vince, they promote
Musical education.
oh, thanks gaga.
And who are you playing for?
I'm playing for the people of
Japan, of course.
of course.
Playing for any other cause
Would be a slap in their face.
Justin, you ready to forget the
Next name?
kay, all right.
All right, I just want to say
That I meet a lot of people
Every day, and I love my fans,
Okay?
When you spend two minutes with
Someone in passing, it's hard to
Remember their names.
oh, that's fair.
Don't worry, j.T.
Our next clue shouldn't be hard.
Bring him out.
I was in 'n sync withhyou.
But I'm not lance bass, you, or
Joey fatone.
What's my name?
if you can tell me even part
Of his name, I'll give every
Charity on earth $10 million.
oh my god.
I know you know it, gaga.
But it's j.T.'s turn.
come on, what's my name,
J.T.?
I know this.
I know this.
I think it's like -- charty.
you think his name is charty?
Well, we don't need a buzzer to
Know that's wrong.
But, let's hear one anyway.
Audience, what's that name?
chris kirkpatrick!
chris kirkpatrick!
oh, man.
I knew that.
oh, did you?
Then real quick, what's his
We just said it.
kirk charty.
you are awful.
That's our show.
I'd like to thank you two for
Playing.
and I would like to thank the
Entire crew, eddie, mike c,
Donna, and everyonn in the
Audience, matt, anna, molly.
Thank you so much.
oh, my gosh, the merriville
Pove tunnel.
yeah, wouldn't want to be
On this ride with anyone else.
I mean it.
todd.
Oh, look.
Oh, the merriville brothers.
? a lovely time of day
With a heart of gold
And a hand to hold
The merriville way ?
oh, my god.
They're so cute.
yeah.
Yeah.
And a little creepy, right?
oh, I think they're adorable.
oh, what was that?
sorry, folks.
We have to stop here for a
Second.
There's a skunk on the track
Ahead, and he does not want to
Move.
We're working on it.
oh, no, we're stuck.
that's not the worst thing
Now, is it?
Damn it.
♪ around the merry-go-round ♪
A lovely time of day
With a heart of gold
And a hand to hold ?
♪ the merriville way ♪
why aren't they going down?
they're fixing the ride.
okay.
Is it me or are they staring at
You?
it's you.
okay, but this one is trying
To kiss you.
no, he's not.
yeah, he is.
His lip are pursed.
okay, you're right.
He wants to kiss me.
Well, here you go,
Mr. Merriville.
okay.
All right.
We got to get off this ride.
what's the matter?
these robots are flirting
With you.
don't be silly.
Come on.
oh, boy.
♪ two, one, two ♪
they're showing off.
They're hot dogging.
don't fall for this.
♪ on their merriville way ♪
now they're sh**ting arrows
At me.
it was just a cupid
Reference.
I don't like it it.
all right, everybody.
Pere's the situation.
We're at an impasse with the
Skunk.
We have to unload people with
The front of the ride.
You two hold tight.
I'll see if I can get you
Vouchers for some free funnel
Cakes.
no, no, take us with you!
aawhat are you so scared of?
I'm not afraid of anything.
don't let them touch you.
they're harmless.
don't let they want put a
Ring on you.
it's a gift.
you're marrying a robot!
what the hell?
I think they're taking me with
Them.
what do you mean taking you
With them?
Let go of me.
bye, sweetie.
bye.
I will -- now what am I supposed
To -- oh, great.
Now what am I supposed to do?
Okay.
Why not?
? that's love the merriville
Way ?
and now it's time to play the
Game the stars play, "secret
Word" with your host lyle round.
hello, and good day.
I'm lyle round.
We got a great game.
Let's meet our celebrities.
She's better known for her work
Pn the broadway stage.
Please welcome mindy elise
Grayson.
thank you.
Thank you.
This is all I do now.
terrific, terrific, terrific.
Our next guest is celebrated
Mentalist and hypnotist, the
Mysterious frandel
thank you.
Tonight I will bend the laws of
Science.
That spoon just flewwaway on a
Clear wire.
or did it?
He's got two spoons.
That's it.
I play the spoons in
"kentucky dirty," the story of a
Female jockey that struggled
With her weight.
"the new york times" said, "not
Right now!"
looks like our contestants
Are getting bored, so why don't
We begin.
Mindy's team won the toss.
Are you prepared?
I'll let the actress inside
Me answer that.
Get into character.
Hell yes, margaret sue!
oh, boy.
thh secret word is "boott"
all right.
Look at me. Focus.
This is hard.
We can do this.
five seconds, mindy.
I'm listening.
I'm with you.
sorry, let me put my reading
Glasses on to check.
Oh, I readdit wrong.
It's boot.
-P mindy, you said the secret
Word.
I know it.
At first I thought it said
800 t, but it says "boot."
My eyes aren't what they used to
Be, lyle, just like the
Character I played in, "who
Moved my john?"
The story of a blind call girl
Who can't tell if she's being
Paid or not.
Is this $5?
How much did you give me?
Do you need change?
sit down, sit down, sit down.
Let's move over to the
Mysterious frandel's team.
Are you ready to receive some
Clues?
I think so, lyle.
or do you?
Put that away, please.
I can hear the motor, please.
Ten seconds on the clock.
the secret word is, "grape."
imt you I want you to clear
Your mind.
okay.
I'm sending you the word
Telepath thickally.
Ii's grape.
you just said the secret
Word.
or did I?
Soon you will have no memory of
What happened here.
I wish that were true, but
You still said it.
Grape.
I ate a grape once backstage
At the opening night party for
Juanita shepherd's "high-kicking
Honey babies."
the secret word is cramp.
cramp.
long story short I ate so
Many grapes I loudly broke wind
Everywhere.
I tried apologizing to the honey
Babies, but they were long gone.
mindy, you said the secret
Word.
I said it because I saw it
I flubbed my line just like I
Did in the hit flop "kenya karen
At the watubi crew."
Hit it!
? kenya karen
And the watubi crew
Topless all the time ?
sit down, sit down, sit down!
No, no.
Okay.
Over to the amazing frandee.
It's your turn.
if I'm really here.
Imagine me not here!
he's clearly right there.&
We'll be right back after word
From our sponsor.
Thank you.
Oh, please, stop.
-Pstop it.
Please.
once again, lady gaga.
it's the barry gibb talk
Show.
Tonight bbary's guest star --
From msnbc, rachel maddow.
Cnn commentator roland s. Martin.
Chairman of thh federal Reserve --
Ben bernanke.
And, as always --
barry's brother robin.
? I don't care what you say
Talking it out
On the barry gibbs talk show
Talking about issues ?
? talking about --
Talking it up
On the barry gibbs talk show
Checking out politics ?
In this crazy, crazy time
Yeah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah ?
ladies and gentlemen, your
Host, barry gibbs.
good evening, ladies and
Gentlemen.
We've got a great show for you Tonight.
This is my show, and this is a
No-nonsense show.
I will not take any crap from
Anyone.
Now let's get down to brass
Tacks.
The United States is currently
In debt to china to the tune of
Over $1.3 trillion.
Will china become the world's
Only economic superpower?
Robin, do you have any thoughts?
no.
No, I don't.
chairman bernanke, is it
Possibleefor america to pull
Itself out of this economic
Disaster?
If so, how, how, how, how, how?
there's no one answer.
well, I'm glad I askeddyou, Then.
I'm just saying --
don't just say.
Shut your trap.
Miss maddow, I understand -- did
You just take a sip of water?
Don't upstage me on my own show
I can't be trusted at a full
Moon.
I have to be handcuffed to a
Radiator.
I've woke up chest hair caked in
Blood next to a journal filled Sense --
With entries that make no
? caked I blood
Journal that makes no sense
Caked in blood ?
? journals make no sense
I'm barry f-ing gibbs.
I apologize, miss maddow.
Robin, do you have anything to
Add?
no.
No, I don't.
robin, dear brother, speak to me.
no.
it's me, it's barry.
I know who it is.
I'm your brotherr
we ere both tiny babies
Together.
We bathed in the sink together?
I know.
we suckled off the same teet.
? we suckled off
The same teet
We suckled oof
The same teet ?
? one at a time
Suckled off
The same teet ?
robin, do ouuhave anything
To add?
I'd rather not.
let's just introduce the next
Guest.
roland s. Martin
you haveegot to be kidding me.
Listen to me you white-bearded
Flesh monger.
Do you know who I am.
I am barry --
the let me handle this.
Clear.
f-ing gibbs!
I survived the rapture.
That is all the time that we
Have.
? we have been
Talking it it up on the barry
Gibbs talk show
? talking about chest hair
Crazy cool medalions
Talking bout ?
? on the barry gibbs
Talk show ?
♪ talking about politics ♪
♪ in this crazy crazy time ♪
? a hip hop
A hippie a hippie
To the hip hip hop
A you don't stop ?
? the rock it
To the bang bang boogie
Say up juuped the boogie
To the rhhthm of the boogie
The b*at ?
thanks to lady gaga,
Jimmy fallon, bradley cooper.
Susan sarandon and trisha clark.
Thank you.
That's the season, baby!
36x21 - Ed Helms/Paul Simon
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
The show's comedy sketches, which often parody contemporary American culture and politics, are performed by a large and varying cast of repertory and newer cast members.
The show's comedy sketches, which often parody contemporary American culture and politics, are performed by a large and varying cast of repertory and newer cast members.