Colossal (2016)

[bunniefuu]

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

[GIRL SPEAKING KOREAN]

[WOMAN SPEAKING KOREAN]

[GIRL WHINING]

Oh! [GASPS]

[LASERS f*ring]
[THUNDER CRACKLING]

[WIND HOWLING]
[SCREAMING]

[DOOR UNLOCKS]

[KEYS JANGLING]

[SIGHS]

Um...

I got into the car
at 2:00.

But then...
I was coming here.

Well, I thought
I was coming here.

But then Georgia
wanted to go to the loft.

So then... You know,
she's my fare home,

so then I had to
go to the loft.

[CLICKS TONGUE] And when we got there,
she was like,

"Well, now I want to take a nap."
So... [CHUCKLES]

Then I'm waiting
for her to, like, wake up,

and then
I fell asleep.

I have been asleep
all night.

[AWKWARD CHUCKLE]

[SIGHS]

Are you angry?

Okay. How... How angry do
you think I should be?

Do you think I should be,
you know, really angry?

A little bit angry?
What do you think would be

appropriate right now?
[SIGHS DEEPLY]

What's a good response?
Go on.

A little angry.

[CLATTERING]

Can it be less angry?

Mmm-hmm. We're not
going to fight about this.

Fine by me.
Just not going to do it.

Not going to do it.
The same old things...

Going over
and over again.

I get angry 'cause the
only time I get to see you

is when you're hungover,

and you stay home
all day and watch TV,

and then you say being
out of work this long is

"affecting" you.
And that isn't true?

And I say you're doing nothing
to change your situation,

and you tell me you're
going to prove me wrong,

and then I catch you lying,
lying again to me, to yourself,

because you stay home
all day,

and it's just talking in circles.
I'm just getting so

tired of it!
Tim...

[CLICKS TONGUE, SIGHS]

Listen.

Georgia wanted
to go to the loft.

I didn't even want
to go.

Who the f*ck is Georgia?

Natasha.

[SIGHING]

Gloria, you are...
You're a mess.

You are out of control,
and I love you,

but I cannot deal
with you in that state.

What are you
talking about?

So I've packed your things,
they're in the bedroom.

What? What?
You can keep the cases.

They're cheap ones.
What?

I think it would be best for
both of us if you were not here

when I got back.
Okay? So, um...

Tim!

Goodbye.

I'm sorry.
Tim!

Tim!

[DOOR SLAMS]

[BREATHING RAGGEDLY]

Yeah, that's him.
Thank God!

WOMAN:...disgusting!

What do you think you're
gonna get out of that?

Disgusting! I know!

[CACKLING] Must have been...
I don't know,

he must have
never done anything

since she was,
like, 12 years old.

[GUFFAWING]
Probably not.

Hey, Gloria!
Where's the plug?

My phone is on red
right now.

Trying to order some Chinese food...
Who wants an apple?

No, I want
Chinese food!

This is way too,
like, healthy!

An apple, are you kidding me?
No.

[BACKGROUND CHATTER CONTINUES]

[SIGHS]

[DOOR CREAKS OPEN]

[GROANS]

[BRAKE SCREECHES]

[GROANS]

Excuse me.
Oscar?

Gloria.

Gloria! Wow!
[BOTH CHUCKLING]

Oh, wow!
Whoa.

I can't believe it! Uh...

Oh, my God, it's a miracle
I recognized you!

Well, yeah, I mean...

Anyway! Hi.

Yeah, hi! Hello.
Hi!

Wow! Uh, so,
what are you doing here?

Uh, um,
I needed a vacation.

And my parents hadn't rented
out the house, and, you know,

I haven't been
up here in so long,

so it's just like, you know...
Sure.

Yeah. Yeah.
What are you doing now?

Like, right now?

Nothing.
Wanna hang out?

Yeah. Sure.
Yeah, sure!

Yeah, come on,
here, hop in!

Okay. Cool.
Yeah. Uh...

[GRUNTS]
Okay. Do you need any help?

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO]

[CHUCKLES]

Sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm still just totally blown
away that you're actually here.

[BOTH CHUCKLING AWKWARDLY]
Yeah.

Um, where are we going?

Oh! Yeah!
Uh, we're going to, uh, to work.

Work at the, uh,
at the bar.

Oh, you work at the bar
with your dad! That's nice.

Uh, well, no, it's...
It's mine now.

Yeah. My, uh,
dad passed away.

Oh, I'm sorry, Oscar.
I'm really sorry.

It's all right.

Oh, when did that happen?

Uh, a few years ago.

He was a really nice guy.

Yeah.

How's your mom?

I bet that was
really hard on her.

Uh, well, she d*ed
long before that.

Jesus. I'm so sorry.

Yeah. You were still
living here.

Don't you remember?
You went to the funeral.

GLORIA: Huh.
It looks different than I remember.

OSCAR: Oh, well, yeah.

No, I did some
renovations a while back.

Yeah, less and less people
started showing up,

and I think the whole
country-western thing

was scaring
people away, honestly.

Wow! Hey!

I like it.
Yeah?

Yeah.
Yeah.

Yeah. Thought you would.
It's more refined, right?

Yeah, I just wanted something
that had a little bit more

of a classic-feeling bar.
You know?

Something that doesn't necessarily
need to rely on a theme

or anything like that.

Well, it has a theme.
No, it doesn't.

No, I mean, it's got a vibe,
yeah, for sure,

but, I mean,
it doesn't have a theme.

No. What would
the theme be? Like, a bar?

Hey, didn't this
used to be bigger?

Yeah. Yeah.
Good memory. Yeah.

I just ended up
shutting that half down.

You know, we didn't need it,
with the people and everything.

But it's all right.

Got a buddy that comes in every
now and then that helps me out.

Most of the time I can just
fend for myself, though, so...

You all right?
Hmm?

You're just...
Oh! Yeah. [CHUCKLES]

It's this nervous tic I have.
I get this itch right here...

You look
like a monkey. Yeah.

I look like a monkey.

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

So what?
You're Oscar's secret...

[MUSIC PLAYING VIA SPEAKERS]
No.

We don't know
anything about you.

We were, uh, friends
in elementary school,

and then I moved
to New York,

and I've lived there
ever since.

Now I'm just...
I'm visiting for a few days.

You know what
your problem is?

What's my problem?

I used to live in New York,
too, a while back.

I worked there for a few
months in a print shop.

Then I met this guy
who'd lost his passport

and he couldn't afford
a new one,

so I decided
to help him out,

let him stay with me
for a while.

After a week of
living with him,

I find out the police
are looking for him

because he b*at up
his boyfriend.

OSCAR: Hey, Garth?
Sorry, what's my problem?

What's your problem?

Yeah, you asked me did I
know what my problem was,

and then you told a story,
and I don't know what...

What does it have to do
with me?

I didn't ask you that.
Did I?

Yeah, you did. Sorry.
He has this problem

that whenever he meets someone new,
he gets very eager

and starts babbling a lot.

That is totally
not true.

Sorry.

[CHUCKLES]

[MUSIC FADES]

So, what do you think
of Mainhead?

Has it changed a lot?

To tell you the truth,
I have no f*cking idea.

OSCAR: Right back here.

Holy sh*t!

Oscar, the horses!
Oh, yeah, yeah, no, no.

Oh, my God, you kept this part
the way it was! It's awesome!

Oscar, why don't you use it?
It's so great!

Well, I told you,
I didn't really need it.

GARTH: Didn't really
need it?

He ran out of money in the
middle of the renovation.

Couldn't afford
to finish it.

This is his
dark little secret.

Like a lower back tattoo.
Hey!

[GLORIA CHUCKLING]

Oscar!
OSCAR: Yeah.

You're nuts.
This place is magical.

It's... Because it's not
literal anymore!

It's like...

It's actually ironic now.

Want a Tic Tac?
Why, does my breath smell?

GARTH: Hey, Oscar!
OSCAR: Mmm-hmm.

You got any teabags?

OSCAR: Why, do you want
a cup of tea?

GARTH: No, I want a teabag.

With the little string and the
paper doohickey at the end...

Yes, I'm familiar with the concept.
What do you need it for?

I'm gonna do a trick.
I don't know your name.

Uh, Joel.
Gloria.

[WHISPERS] Why do they
always do that?

What?

They always introduce you
to all the guys

except for
the good-looking ones.

One.

[OSCAR AND GARTH
SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

Oh, it's like a f*cking Wes Anderson
movie in here, Oscar,

I love it!

I wish the songs
were better.

[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING]

When we were kids,
back in school,

every year they'd have this short
story contest in the spring,

and Gloria here would always win!
[BLOWS RASPBERRY]

Always!
GLORIA: Oh, come on!

My stories
were terrible.

Oh, yeah? Well...

[GLORIA LAUGHS]
Mmm,

apparently they were
better than mine, so... [CLICKS TONGUE]

I'm gonna get more booze.
I didn't know that

you wanted
to be a writer.

You... [LAUGHS]

No, I didn't. That...
You missed the point, Dumdum.

I'm not...
She's the writer... I'm...

I'm not a writer.
I mean, I don't, like...

I don't write fiction.

I write articles for
an online magazine.

Oh, they're on
the Internet!

[SIGHING] Yeah, they are.

Well, that's...
That's cool!

It is. Yeah.

Write down the address,
and then I could check it out.

Oh... Okay.
[CHUCKLING]

Uh-huh...

Yeah.
There we go.

[GASPS]

[TOILET FLUSHES]
Sorry.

Hey! What the hell's
wrong with you?

Huh? Am I gonna have to
kick your ass again?

Oscar, nothing happened.

Please. Spare me. Okay?
It's your first night back in town,

somebody had to go
f*ck it up...

Easy. We've all been
drinking, okay?

It's fun.
We're just having fun.

Nothing happened.
Nothing happened!

Yeah...

What's going on?
Nothing! [CHUCKLES]

[CLICKS TONGUE]

[KEYS JANGLING]

Jesus Christ.

[WHISPERS] What happened?

[GRUNTS]

[SIGHS]

[CHILDREN LAUGHING, PLAYING]

sh*t.

[SIGHS]

[GRUNTING]

[THUNDER RUMBLES]

[GRUNTS]

[SIGHING]

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

[WIND HOWLING]

[THUNDER CRACKLING]

[CELL PHONE RINGING]
Oh.

[GROANING]

Ow!

[WHISPERS] What the...

Hi.

Oh, hey, sis, what's up?

No, I'm okay. I'm just...

I'm okay. Yeah.

No, I haven't heard anything.
What are you talking about?

What?

Oh, come on. I mean,
that's gotta be like a...

[STAMMERING]

It sounds like an Internet
prank or something, right?

It's like
a viral hoax? Right?

What?

Oh, my... Oh, my...

Okay, you know,
I need both my hands.

I gotta call you back.
Okay, bye.

Oh, my God!

[WHISPERS] Holy sh*t.

Oh, my God.

[GASPS]

[CHATTER IN KOREAN]

[g*nsh*t]

[PEOPLE SCREAMING]

[GASPS]

[CRASHING]

[GASPING]

[PEOPLE CLAMORING]

[RINGING TONE]

TIM: Hello?
Um, is this a good time to talk?

I mean, are you...
Are you busy?

Yeah, I'm fine. Just got home.
What's wrong?

What's wrong?
Oh, my God, Tim.

I just looked at the news,
and I...

I think I'm in shock.

I mean, a giant monster just
materialized over Seoul.

Out of nowhere!
I mean...

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
it's crazy.

But, Gloria, that happened,
like, nine hours ago.

You're just hearing
about this?

Yeah.

Well, what have you been
doing all day?

I... Um...

I've been, like, you know,
doing stuff around the house.

Hey, what are you...
What are you getting at, Tim?

I'm worried about you,
that's all.

You said you were going home
to figure things out,

to get
your life together...

[STUTTERING]
That is exactly what I'm doing!

Gloria, if you're still out
drinking all night,

you need professional help.

You know, we've been
here before, and...

[GROANS]

[SIGHING]

[DISTANT sh*ts]

NEWSCASTER:... whether this shocking
phenomenon is considered an att*ck

or a natural disaster.

Meanwhile, the global
state of emergency continues,

with stock markets plunging.

Thanks.

So far, this is
the best footage we have

of the creature
vanishing into thin air.

The unprecedented nature of...

Did you get that tingle?

When you know
you're watching something

that's gonna change
the course of history?

Stephen Hawking has been the
most outspoken among scientists

in raising the question
of whether we need to revise

our entire understanding
of the laws of physics.

With hundreds of specialists
already converging on Seoul,

initial scientific analysis
has raised concerns...

OSCAR: All those
innocent victims.

And here we are,

just thinking how lucky
we are to be watching.

...this, and the high level
of air contamination

triggered by the destruction,
have accelerated

the evacuation of many
affected urban areas.

The UN has called for
a worldwide ceasefire,

and is asking for support from
all nations able to help.

The US and NATO forces
have already been dispatched

to help with search
and rescue operations,

as the number of injured or missing
citizens continues to climb.

After the first
public statement

from the South
Korean president...

[REPORTER CONTINUES
IN DISTINCTLY]

[SIGHS, SNIFFLES]

[PEOPLE CLAMORING]

[CHILDREN CHATTERING]

[GLORIA MOANS]

Uh...

[SIGHS]

[RINGING TONE]

TIM: Hello?
Hi.

Did I wake you up? No. It's okay.
What's up?

I just want to
talk to you.

I just woke up,

and, um, I thought you'd
be on your way to work,

so I wanted to talk
to you.

Gloria, Gloria,
you're drunk.

I'm not talking to you
when you're drunk.

I'm not drunk.
I'm talking to you.

I've been, uh, getting
stuff for the house.

I bought, uh...

I bought
an inflatable mattress.

I've got to get ready for work, okay?
I'll talk to you later.

sh*t.

sh*t!

[AIR PUMP WHIRRING LOUDLY]

[AIR PUMP CONTINUES WHIRRING]

[DOORBELL RINGING]

[GRUNTING IN PAIN]

Hi.

[CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY] Hi.

I brought you a TV.

Careful.
[GLORIA CLEARS THROAT]

[AIR PUMP CONTINUES WHIRRING]

Oh, sh*t.
Uh, I just gotta...

I mean, I think we should
probably put it in here.

Yeah.
Sorry. Ugh...

[WHIRRING STOPS]
Um...

Yeah, sorry, it's kind of, uh,
a mess in here.

This is, uh, the only place I can
get Wi-Fi without a password, so...

Um, what did you say?
What...

I didn't say anything.
Oh, okay.

Why don't we pop it
over here?

Got the outlet
and everything.

Okay. You want me
to, uh, do anything, or...

No! Honestly. I'm good.
I know what I'm doing.

I like doing
this kind of stuff.

Okay. Thank you.

Oh, I gotta say,
this is a...

This is
a pretty nice surprise.

What, the TV?
Yeah.

We talked about this last night.
Don't you remember?

Yeah. [CHUCKLES]

Yeah. Yeah.

Did the monster come back?

Uh, yeah.
It att*cked Seoul again.

What?
But not as bad.

You know,
the thing appeared,

the monster,
in the, uh, same place,

but it just stood there

and, like, made a bunch of
weird hand gestures. I dunno.

But it did destroy a few buildings
and some people got hurt,

but, again,
nothing like last time.

What time did it happen?


The same...

Exact same time.
That's weird.

Same time as yesterday, and
same time as, you know,

the other time
it showed up.

What other time?

You...

I'll show you. Yeah.
Yeah... Yeah. Please.

[EXHALES]

Can't believe
you haven't seen this.

This is, uh...

Yeah.

It was, like,


Oh, my gosh!

It appeared and disappeared,
exact same...



Back then, everyone just
thought it was a hoax.

But, yeah, it's
the only photo they have.

Not the greatest quality,
but, you know, you can tell...

Whoa... it's it from
the silhouette, right?

Seoul, too?

Uh, yeah,
that was in Seoul, yeah.

Well, that's a shame.

Why do you say that?

Well, you know, like...

If the monster
is only attacking Seoul,

then all the rest of the world
will stop caring, you know?

Like all the ceasefires
that happened, they...

[GROANS] They'll just end.

Hmm.

So you don't remember anything
we talked about last night, huh?

[SIGHS]

I got really melodramatic,
didn't I?

Well, uh, you told me that you
weren't really on a vacation.

That you've been looking
for a job for a year,

and you've been living
with your boyfriend, Tim,

and, uh,
it didn't work out,

and since you didn't
have any money,

you decided to move back
here for a little while.

For the record, I figured out
that you were broke on my own,

so you don't have to
feel bad about...

Oh, well. Congratulations.
Is there anything else?

I told you that if you wanted
to give me a hand at the bar,

you're more than welcome.

You know, make a little money
while you're staying here.

What did I say?
[CHUCKLES] You said yes.

[SCOFFS]

[LAUGHS] Yeah.

I'm sorry. I shouldn't have
asked you when you were drunk.

That's bad timing by me... No.
What are you talking about?

That's such a nice thing to do.
Figured I'd offer, I'm sorry.

But, I mean,
do you need help at the bar?

If this mess
keeps going on, yeah,

yeah, I'll definitely
need help at the bar.

People gotta drink.

Okay, I'll tell you what.

I'll come to work
at the bar

if you agree that we clean
up the western side.

Mmm-hmm.

All right, you're hired!

Yes.
Mmm-hmm.

Country side
is gonna open!

Make it official. Boom.
Thank you.

Uh, start at 5:00? Tonight?

Great.

All right.
Well, there we have it.

Hey.
Yeah.

Uh...

Thank you.

Oh. Yeah. Of course.

OSCAR: You need a sofa.

Huh? What?

You should get a sofa for in here,
so you can watch, you know...

Oh. Yeah. Yeah.
Hang out.

All right. You want me
to pick you up later?

That'd be great! Thank you.
Cool. Can do.

[DOOR OPENS]
Thank you!

OSCAR: Mmm-hmm.
[DOOR CLOSES]

Perfect.
Okay.

NEWSCASTER: The impact of the creature's
appearance has been felt worldwide.

Additionally, a large number of
humanitarian forces are arriving in Seoul

to help with rescue
and recovery efforts.

A coalition of religious members
have lent their support

and plan to visit
affected areas.

[COMPUTER KEYS CLACKING]

[SIGHS]

NEWSCASTER: Despite the lack
of recent att*cks,

the city remains
on high alert.

As there seems to be
no discernible pattern

to the location of the monster's
appearance or path of destruction,

the entire city of Seoul

and its surrounding suburbs
are on high alert.

[INDISTINCT WHISPERING]

GARTH: See, I don't think
it's alive.

What do you mean?

I mean,
it's not an animal.

It's like a machine,

and it's being operated by
remote control or something.

OSCAR: Mmm.

Do you ever notice how
it just keeps moving,

destroying everything
in its path,

but it never looks down?

If you were walking,
surrounded by buildings

up to your waist
or your shoulder,

wouldn't you look around
to see where you were going?

Even if you wanna
destroy everything,

it makes no sense to keep
staring straight ahead

if everything is below you.

Hey. You okay?

[SIGHING]

[SIGHS]

[PHONE ALARM BLARING]

[KIDS YELLING]

NEWSCASTER 2: This is the
creature's third appearance.

Surprisingly...
[GASPS]

...there were no reported
casualties or property damage,

as the monster hasn't moved from the
spot of its initial appearance...

[GASPS]

NEWSCASTER 1:
Despite the confusion caused

by the creature's
last appearance,

NATO, the UN
and coalition forces

remain on high alert.
[SIGHS]

In a statement...
Ah!

...m*llitary forces
will be ready to strike

if the monster appears again.
What the...

What the...
I don't understand...

Come on... No, no...

[GRUNTS] Come on! Ah!

[INHALES SHARPLY] The inability
of the government to

evacuate its citizens quickly
enough has forced the council

to model the potential
civilian casualties involved

in moving forward
with the operation.

This move has caused
a massive outcry from

humanitarian organizations

around the world.

Okay.

[WHISPERS] Okay.

[MONITOR BEEPING]

Hey.

Hi! Fine.
How are you doing?

I just wanted to apologize
for the other day.

I was just, um...
You know, my tone.

I've just been
lecturing you a lot,

and I just haven't even really asked,
you know, if you're okay.

[STAMMERS] I'm fine.

I'm not trying to pry
or anything, I'm just, um...

Don't really know what
you're actually doing there.

What I'm actually doing?

I'm... It...

[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
I'm, um, working.

Working?
Yeah. Yeah!

I'm working in a bar.

It belongs to a friend
of mine from school,

and, um,
he hired me part-time,

and I am a waitress.

You're a waitress?
Yeah.

[DOORBELL RINGS]
Um...

But...

Hold on.
Gloria?

Oscar.
Brought the sofa.

Hi!
Hi!

[JOEL GRUNTS]

What? A sofa?
Yeah. You wanted a sofa.

I wanted a sofa?

Uh, okay, so bring it
through here.

Yeah. I think it would
be good in here. Um...

Say we go
against this wall here.

Yeah, yeah, that'd be...

Oh, my gosh.
OSCAR: What?

A futon!

Yeah, is that okay?

GLORIA: You remember
my inflatable mattress?

It has a hole
in it or something.

I don't know. It deflated.
My back is k*lling me.

Thank you! Oh, my gosh!
Yeah.

Oh!

[OSCAR LAUGHING]

That's so nice.

It's good timing then, huh?
Mmm-hmm.

[LAUGHS]
[SIGHS]

I've never seen anyone so
excited about a futon before.

Highlight of my day.

OSCAR: Well, sorry to break
up the love affair here,

but we gotta go to work.

No.
Yeah.

Not yet, not yet!

Yeah, it's time to work.
Let's go.

Okay.

Hold on,
I just gotta grab my phone.

OSCAR: Do it!

[SIGHS]

[DOOR OPENS]

That's amazing.
I owe you big for that.

[DOOR CLOSES]

All right,
so I want you to watch,

because this is how
Oscar dances

when he is trying
to seduce you.

It was a wedding.
Right, right.

Okay? This is not
my normal...

Note the fingers gyrating around
the entertainment center.

[ALL LAUGHING]

What are you doing?
[PHONE VIBRATING]

OSCAR: Hilarious.
[GARTH CACKLING]

JOEL: Hilariously accurate!

[PHONE CONTINUES VIBRATING]

So. The astronaut climbs
into the capsule.

Hey, Joel, just make sure to
turn off the lights in here.

Don't turn anything off
and on out front, okay?

JOEL: I got it!
Just forget it.

Nobody's even paying attention.
Doesn't matter.

What?
OSCAR: Listening to what?

To the story about the astronaut!
Jesus Christ!

Weren't you listening
to a word I was saying?

No! Who cares
about the story?

Are you gonna
do the trick, or what?

I'll do the trick at the end of
the story about the astronaut.

Why?

[STAMMERS] If the trick's
good enough, f*ck the story.

But what if
the trick sucks?

f*ck the story.

[WHISPERS] All right.

OSCAR: All right,
just to catch you up,

blah, blah, blah,
there's an astronaut, et cetera.

All right, here we go.
Showtime.

Don't blow it out.

Patience...

Not all that interesting.

[GASPS]

Oh! Look at that!

Huh.
[GARTH GASPS]

Very cool. Very cool.

I feel like it would have been
better with the story, though.

GARTH: Are you
f*cking kidding me?

I need to tell
you guys something.

But you have to promise that
you're not gonna tell anyone.

Okay? Not a soul.
All right?

This is a secret between us.
No one else can know, okay?

All right.

We gotta go to the park,

and then I am gonna
show you guys something.

OSCAR: All right.

Okay. Uh, there's
a website called, um,

"Seoul Under att*ck:
Live Feed,"

something like that.
You gotta find that one,

and, uh, everybody
over there. Okay.

Gloria, what is this?
[SHUSHING]

I just need everybody
to be quiet. Just go.

[SOFTLY] Okay.

All right.
Good, good, good.

Everybody's gonna be
over there,

and I am...
I'm gonna be on this side...

All right, I got it.
Now what? [SPITS]

You... Joel.

Come on!

Yeah. Okay.
Okay.

Um... Uh, click on the window that has...
It's the river area.

The third one, I think?

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay, it's gonna happen really soon,
so just wait for it.

Wait for what?

Just watch your screen
and tell me when you see it.

See what?

[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]

Holy sh*t.
All right. It's back.

Do you see it?
Yeah, I got it.

Is it there?
The giant monster? Yeah.

[GLORIA CHUCKLING]

[HELICOPTERS WHIRRING]

GARTH: Holy sh*t!
Gloria, you gotta see this!

GLORIA: What is it doing?

It's dancing.

It's dancing, like...

Holy sh*t.

[GLORIA LAUGHING]

GARTH: Uh, it stopped.

Hi, assholes! Mwah!

I'm blowing you kisses.
I am blowing you kisses!

GARTH: Whoa!

JOEL: What the...
GARTH: Okay. How? How?

Wait. This isn't happening.

No, no, no.
This is not happening.

This is one of those practical joke apps.
This is a joke.

But, you know,
I still feel like dancing, so...

Can you guess which
film this is from, huh?

The f*ck is going on?
[GLORIA LAUGHING]

Do you wanna make
any requests?

This does not last
that long.

It's a joke.
What...

What the...
[DISTANT expl*si*n]

Ow.

[STAMMERS] They're sh**ting
at you. Missiles.

They're sh**ting at me?
Are you serious?

Who? Where? Where?

All right.
Come on, f*ckers!

You wanna mess with me?
Come on!

[GRUNTING]

Ow! What was that?

A helicopter crashed.

Into my head?

Yeah.

With, like, the pilot
and everything?

[PEOPLE CLAMORING
OVER THE SCREEN]

Wow.

OSCAR: All right, Gloria.
What is this? sh*t.

sh*t. I don't want
to be here anymore.

Um, I don't...
How do I get out?

Which way is the river?
I don't know where it is...

Hey! Gloria!

I don't want to
be here anymore,

can you just show me...
Holy sh*t!

What? [GASPS]

NEWSCASTER 2: [MUFFLED] This is the only
footage of the att*cks we have so far.

It's unbelievable,
I mean, look...

[NEWSCASTER CONTINUES
INDISTINCTLY]

[SIGHS CONTENTEDLY]

...trying to understand what
their lives have become.

Trying to comprehend
everything they've lost.

[SIRENS, EXPLOSIONS]

[HORRIFIED GASP]

[DOOR CLOSES]

Oh, you're up.

I took your keys,

'cause I didn't want to
wake you when I got back.

Um, I hope
that's okay. I...

Also, I noticed you
didn't have any food...

How many people
did I k*ll?

Um...

Give me the paper.

Wait, no, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Gloria, listen...

Can you please tell me
how many people d*ed?

How about I fix you something to eat,
and then we can...

We can just talk about
it calmly, you know?

Um...

Not many.

All right?

[SOBBING] f*ck!

What are you doing?

"Not many"? How many does
"not many" mean?

Gloria. Okay, you gotta
calm down.

Does it mean 100 people?
Does it mean 200 people?

Gloria!
What does "not many" mean?

[PANICKING]
I gotta tell someone.

I gotta turn myself in.
Hey! You gotta calm down.

I gotta turn myself in...

Wait, now, hold on!
I gotta tell them what happened...

Yeah, but you don't know
what happened.

[SOBBING] Yes, I do! Yes, I do!
I k*lled a shitload of people

because I was acting like
a drunk idiot! Again!

Hey! Gloria! Hey! Hey!

That's not what happened!

What?

Well, not the only thing
that happened.

Pretty sure that's me.

We can see streets littered with
debris here after the att*ck.

There appear to be several
emergency response vehicles...

They're so freaked out by the
giant robot suddenly appearing

that they're not talking
about the dancing.

Okay. Okay.

Had you ever been in the
park at 8:05 before?

Mmm... I can't recall.
I don't think so.

You don't think so?
You don't... Come on.

Been in the park at that
time in the morning?

No. No, definitely not.

So this could've happened at any
time during all these years.

Yeah. It's crazy that it only
happens to the two of us.

And the first time my monster
appeared was when we were kids?

Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
Excuse me? More coffee?

No... No...

I'm good. Thanks.

Do you think
she heard something?

I think she heard something.
Heard what?

That we're the ones
destroying Seoul?

Shh! Shut up!
Don't say that!

Calm down!

Even if she heard you,
she'd have no idea

what we're
talking about, okay?

I just... I think we need to keep it cool,
be careful, okay?

People are looking
at us.

[WHISPERING] People are
looking at us!

Hi. I'm the robot.
She's the monster.

[LAUGHING UNCOMFORTABLY]
He's...

[WHISPERING] I'm leaving!
I'm leaving!

Whoa! Hey! Stop.
I'm sorry.

Okay? Just calm down.
Now, what were you saying?

You were talking about the first
time your monster showed up.

Okay. What were we doing
back then?

Um, going to school.

No. What were we doing
at that exact time?

We were going to school.

Yeah. 8:05 is when we would
be walking to the bus stop.

That's right!

Yeah, but I don't remember
walking through that park...

In fact, that wasn't even
a park when we were kids.

You know? Remember?
It was that fenced-off area...

It was a construction site.

Yeah, with, like,
garbage and trees...

GLORIA: But it was,
like, dirt, it wasn't...

OSCAR: Mmm-hmm.
GLORIA: Right!

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

Do you still wanna confess?

No.

I feel terrible,
but I'm, you know...

Not like confessing
is gonna do any good.

No, that's true.

Actually, there's nothing
we can do.

There's nothing we can do.

Yes, there is.

[GRUNTS]

Boom.

Did he think
it was weird?

No. No, not at all.
Nah, he's an old friend.

I've been coming here
for years.

[SIGHS] Look, he even gave us free food.
Nice, huh?

[SIGHS] Okay.

So, uh, where do you
want to meet later?

Oh! Uh... You know what,
man, it's your night off.

You should probably
get some rest.

I can do this.
It's fine.

Are you kidding me?
I'm not gonna be able to sleep.

[ENGINE STARTING]

Me neither.

GLORIA: I guess it was the
wrong time to be funny.

When I made a humorous allusion
halfway through a sentence.

Um, thought it was funny
at the time,

and, you know,
it seemed harmless,

because it was
a play on words.

A play on words is funny
'cause of how it sounds,

not 'cause of what
it means.

They didn't fire me,

but when they started downsizing,
I was the first to go.

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

Oh, you jerk,
you already knew.

Yes. I'm sorry.

Ugh. Why didn't you
tell me?

Why are you letting me, like...
[IMITATES RETCHING]

Why? I don't...
...my past?

I didn't want you
to think I was creepy,

like I'm some
sort of stalker...

Well, it's too late for that.
You know?

[CHUCKLING] Yeah.

So you've been following
me all these years?

Of course I have.

Somebody actually
made it out of here

and did something
special for once.

You know, this place
is not bad at all.

You've got your friends,
the bar's cool...

Yeah. No, that's true.

I think some of the girls
have their eyes on you.

Some of the ladies.
[BOTH CHUCKLING]

You don't say.

I was actually this close to getting
married about six years ago.

Really?
Mmm-hmm.

I, uh, asked this girl
to move in with me,

you know, just to see
how things would work.

Her and her baby, actually.

And, uh, it didn't last.
She got bored real quick.

[CLICKS TONGUE]
I'm sorry.

I don't blame her.

It's hard
not to get bored.

I mean, there are ways,
but none of them are healthy.

Hell, look what
had to happen

for things to get
interesting around here.

[BLOWS] Giants attacking
South Korea.

No. I mean you.

[DISTANT AIR RAID SIRENS]

What's that?
[SIGHS] Sirens in Seoul.

Announcing I might
show up.

Then go.

Wait, what are you doing?

What do you mean? I thought we
were going to do this together?

No, Oscar, this is my thing.
This is my problem.

I'm confused. Why did you ask
me to come out here, then?

Well... I didn't...
You offered!

Can you just let me do it?
Please, just...

Yeah, okay.

[KIDS YELLING, PLAYING]

Oh, hold on.

Okay. Yeah, you're there.

[PEOPLE CLAMORING]

[YELLING IN KOREAN]
[AIR RAID SIRENS]

[HELICOPTERS WHIRRING]

Okay. It's clear.

Are you sure?

Yeah, I'm sure.

You're fine. Go ahead.

[SCREAMING]

The message is clear.
"I'm sorry.

"It was a mistake.
It won't happen again."

This shocking gesture
has been met by skepticism

from government
and m*llitary leaders.

Just like I thought!
It's a good monster.

It's been a good guy
the whole time.

This confirms the creature is intelligent,
understands language,

at least Korean, and is
eager to communicate.

Many residents have decided
to return to their homes.

The people of Seoul
have remained resilient...

[NEWSCASTER CONTINUES
INDISTINCTLY]

Congratulations.

GARTH: I get that you don't trust
the translators on the Internet,

but your friend, the one at the restaurant.
OSCAR: Mmm-hmm.

Don't you think that he was
just a little blown away

when the monster wrote exactly
what you told him to?

I asked him to translate other
phrases too, to throw him off.

What kind of phrases?
What does that matter?

What did you tell him
they were for?

For tattoos.

Who gets a tattoo
that says,

"I'm sorry, it was a mistake,
it won't happen again"?

That's how you beg
your wife for forgiveness

after you've cheated on her!
[LAUGHS]

I've seen weirder tattoos,
I'm just... Yeah!

I'm lost, and I gotta pee.
All right, good.

Let us know how
that all turns out.

Yeah, I mean, I see
your point there. Yeah.

No, no, no, I got it.
You tattoo it backwards.

OSCAR: Okay. Why backwards?
I don't understand.

That way, you're the only
one who can read it.

You're saying it
to yourself.

And why are you asking
yourself for forgiveness?

For getting a tattoo?

Hi.
Hey.

What are you...
Shh.

Where do you live?

What?

What's your address?

[KNOCKING]

Hey.
Hi.

Come on in.
Thanks.

The guys still there?

Yeah, they were
still there when I left.

They were still partying.
Thank you.

They, uh...

They won't think
it's weird?

No, why would they?

They don't know
anything about this.

[CHUCKLES] Neither do I.

Mmm-hmm.

Do you want something
to drink, or...

No?

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Comfy?

[CHUCKLES]

[GASPS]

Oh, my God! I'm sorry!

Did you... Was that...
[SIGHS]

I'm sorry. I thought,
with you coming over here, and...

I'm kidding.

I'm so happy to
hear you say that.

I just thought I had screwed it all
up again, my heart's pounding...

Okay.

[FAINT SNORING]

Oh! Oh!

Joel!
[GASPS]

Wake up, wake up!
We gotta go! We gotta go!

Come on! Come on!
Come on! Ah!

[STAMMERING]

Now!
Ah!

[SHOUTING] Oscar!

[GRUNTING]

Gloria!
GLORIA: What are you doing?

Are you out of your mind?

OSCAR: What? We're just
having a little fun!

Grr! [LAUGHS]

Hey, Joel.

Hey, Joel.

GLORIA: Oscar! Oscar!

Get out of there!
Turn around,

walk toward the river
and keep walking! Now!

Wait, wait, wait.
Calm down!

I'm not hurting anyone, okay?
We already checked.

We're not
f*cking idiots.

sh*t! Oh, sh*t.

[STAMMERS] Be careful!
Aw, come on.

You're the one that k*lled a
shitload of people, not me.

Spare me the lectures.

Get out.

[DISTANT CHEERING]

I don't f*cking want to.

[DISTANT CHEERING]
[SNIFFLES]

Yeah, okay.

[DISTANT CHEERING]

Oh, hey.

Gonna need you to
go in early today.

Start cleaning up the
western side of the bar.

If you're not
too tired, obviously.

Why are you asking me
to do that now, Oscar?

What are you talking about?
You offered.

[DISTANT LAUGHTER]

[METAL CLANGS]

REPORTER: [ON TV]
After what happened this morning

with the surprising
turn of events,

the theory shared by many
has been confirmed.

The two creatures
are not on the same side.

And the creature we first
considered a thr*at

could very well be the one
protecting the city of Seoul.

As is to be expected,

social media websites are
talking about nothing else.

This is today's
most watched viral video.

[HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING]
[LAUGHTER]

[LAUGHING]

Mmm.

REPORTER 2:
In other news,

the monster and robot have
developed a large following.

People are flocking to Seoul
from all over the world

in hopes of catching a real-life
glimpse of the phenomenon.

[LIVELY CHATTER]

OSCAR: Staying late
tonight, right?

[SIGHS]

OSCAR: Really, uh...

It's really well done,
actually.

You know?
[EXPLOSIONS]

The more times I watch it,
the funnier it gets.

[HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING]

Hey, Oscar,
why don't you give it a rest?

What's the problem?

What, I can't think
it's funny?

You don't think I know
how to laugh at myself?

No, no, no.
I just, you know...

[SCOFFS] You've seen it


I think you might be
exaggerating a little. Right?

OSCAR: Uh, excuse me.

No, no, no. Hold on.

I'm not the one that's
watched it 1,000 times.

Everyone else has.

You know? I mean, look how
many hits this thing has.

There's not this many people
alive in the world. Look.

Okay! Okay, you're right.
Never mind. Never mind.

Yeah.
GLORIA: [SIGHS] Oh, God.

[GLORIA SIGHS]
[TOILET FLUSHES]

Projection screen is down.

What?

Screen. It's still down.

If you leave it like that
overnight, it'll warp.

[SCOFFS] Are you asking me
to close it?

I am asking you
to do your job.

Well, um...

I got it.
No.

OSCAR: Hey, Garth!

Don't touch it.

Come on, man.
It's her job.

Gloria.

Garth! Stay out
of this, okay?

In fact, why don't you just
go back in the bathroom?

And, oh, hey, you don't
have to flush the toilet.

We all know you're not taking
a sh*t in there. Okay?

What?

Buddy, you can snort
whatever you want in my bar.

I just think it'd be nice if you
trusted us a little more, that's all.

We're your friends.

Which is why we've turned
our head for years,

pretending like,
you know,

we don't know what you're doing
when you go in the bathroom.

What are...
Are you crazy?

You know that I have
digestive issues.

You don't even wipe
yourself properly.

Hmm. Is there something
wrong with your nose?

You know that I haven't
snorted anything in years!

I know, I know, I know that,
yeah, no, everybody knows.

Yeah. Very proud of you.

What's with the tone?

What's the problem, Garth?

Taking a sh*t make you
this nervous?

Sit down.
Drink your beer.

It's okay.

Gloria, you sure
you don't want a beer?

No, I'm good,
Oscar, thanks.

Why, 'cause you're keeping
an eye on me, right?

Well, don't.

'Cause I don't like when
people keep tabs on me.

I'm not keeping tabs
on you.

Then have a beer.

I haven't had
a beer since Sunday.

[CHUCKLES] Or anything
to drink, really.

Why?

[SIGHS] Uh, 'cause I don't
want to do anything stupid.

Stupid. Don't want... Stupid. Okay.
GLORIA: Yeah.

Stupid. You mean like
the rest of us, yeah?

No, Oscar, not like you.
Like me.

Like, stupid like
when I got drunk and fell

and, you know, k*lled hundreds of people.
Like that.

And when that happened,
did we start checking up on you

like you were
a little girl. Huh?

[SIGHS]

Did we judge you?

No! Of course not!
That's not who we are.

Hell, Garth here has been
doing coke in secret

for the last five years,
no one here judges him, right?

f*ck you!

You can go to hell!
I'm leaving.

Okay. See you, buddy.

You're lucky that the rest
of us don't have your...

I thought you were leaving!

Lucky that
the rest of us...

You're lucky I don't call
the cops on you, you junkie!

[PANTING]

[CHUCKLES]

[BOTTLES CLATTER]

Come on, Gloria.
Have a beer.

Okay.

Well, I'll tell you what.

Either you drink that beer,

or I'll go take a walk
through the, uh, park later.

Hmm?

What, are you...
Are you kidding?

Drink it.

Please know that I'm only
being this pushy

because deep down,
I know you want it.

[LAUGHING]

[LAUGHING] Huh.

Okay.

Cheers.
Mmm.

Oscar? Oscar, listen.

Hey. Turn off everything,
and lock up, please.

Oscar!

Oscar. Hey. Hey.
Listen to me!

Listen to me!
You are drunk!

Hey. You're drunk. Okay?

Those are real people and this is just...
This is not a good idea!

Hey, don't worry.
I'm not gonna k*ll anyone.

Oscar!

[ENGINE STARTING]

I know you think everything
revolves around you,

but it doesn't! Not anymore.
Oscar...

My life is just as
amazing as yours now.

For once. And if
you don't like it, f*ck you!

[GLORIA PANTING]

Oh, good, you made it!

I was concerned.

Didn't think you were
going to be here on time.

Nailed it.

Boy, you're pretty winded.
Yeah. It's okay. We can wait.

Yeah. Catch your breath.

[DISTANT CHEERING]

What, you're gonna slap me again?
Hmm? All right.

Yeah. Go.
[GRUNTS]

Come on.
Wasn't much on that.

You hit me a lot
harder yesterday.

Come on.
Let's give them a good show.

[GRUNTS]

Yeah. I don't know.
Not the same.

Must have been
the surprise...

Ooh!
[PANTING]

[GRUNTING]
[SHRIEKING]

Oscar, let me go!
OSCAR: No punching!

Stop it! Ah! Oscar.
Hey, hey, hey.

Easy, slugger.
GLORIA: Oscar, let me go.

Come on, come on, come on.
OSCAR: You hear me? No punching?

Yes. Yes. Yes.
Okay, okay. Good.

[GROANING]

[SHRIEKING] Oscar...
Oscar, stop it.

I don't want to.
Oscar, you're hurting me.

I don't care,
all right?

[GROANS]
[LOUD CLANG]

[DISTANT CHEERING]

OSCAR: Not a direct hit, but you got
the majority of them down there.

[GROANS]

Get out!
[SIGHS]

Get out.

f*ck you.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

[DISTANT CHEERING]

Ow! Ow! Ow!

[DISTANT SCREAMING]
[AIR RAID SIRENS]

[GRUNTING]
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Stop!

Ow!

JOEL: It's over!
Hey, hey, hey! Hey!

It's over! So just
stop it! Okay? Please?

It's over! Stop! Please!
[GRUNTING]

[COUGHING]

God dang it! sh*t!

I think you broke
the skin!

Look at this!
Look what you did to me!

Here! There are your keys!

I am not coming back
to your shitty bar!

Yeah, you are.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

[KEYS CLINKING]
Ow!

You're gonna keep
working at the bar,

or I'm gonna come back
here tomorrow

and destroy
an entire neighborhood.

Then I'll come back and
I'll kick your f*cking ass!

No, you won't.

'Cause I'm done being
Mr. Nice Guy.

[GROANS] Ow.

[GASPS]

See you at work?

I'll see you at work.
Come on, let's go!

[SIGHS]

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Hi.

Hi. Are you alone?

Mmm-hmm.

Uh...

Look, I... I just... I wanted
to say I'm sorry for...

For everything
that's been happening.

I was with Oscar
all morning,

and he's sorry, too.

He's so sorry that

he told me to come over
here and give you this.

What is all this?

JOEL: Well, it's...
It's for you.

For your house.

There's, you know, a couple
of rugs, and some chairs,

and then, um, there's some
side tables in the back

and I... Well,
I can unload it all myself...

Gloria?

Gloria, where are you going?

[KNOCKING]

Gloria.
What the hell are you doing?

Come on.

Come inside.

OSCAR: Uh, do you, um...

Do you want some coffee,
or something to drink, or...

What's with the furniture
in the truck, Oscar?

Um...

I thought I told you
about that.

That's from
my uncle's house.

They aren't using it,

so, you know, you can do
whatever you want with it.

I don't want it!

I'm totally ashamed.

Yeah, well,
you should be.

Did I hurt you?

I mean, do you have any cuts or
bruises or anything like that?

No. No, not really.
I'm... No.

Are you sure
you're okay?

Look. We didn't k*ll
anybody this morning, okay?

That's all
that matters, right?

I feel so shitty
that I hurt you.

I just... Such a shitty,
shitty day.

I can't bear to
even think about it.

I'm so sorry, I...

I'm sorry.

Please, can we
be friends again?

Listen, buddy, you gotta
promise me something, okay?

No more staying after
hours at the bar, okay?

You close and you
go home, all right?

No more late-night drinking.

You promise? Okay. Okay.
I promise. Yeah.

[GLORIA SIGHS]

I am no stranger to
f*cking up when drunk.

It's okay. We're good.

[CHUCKLES]

Thank you.

[DOOR CLOSES]

Jesus Christ!

[PANTING]

[RINGTONE PLAYING]
[GASPS]

Tim, hey, it's...

What?

Hey.

Come on in.

Wow.
Yeah. [CHUCKLES]

Mmm.

Um, do you want,
uh, a drink?

Not a drink drink,
but a drink?

No. No, thanks.
[CHUCKLES]

Yeah, no, I was, uh, you know,
been e-mailing you a bit,

and calling you,

and didn't hear anything,

so I was just, uh,
getting a bit worried.

So when's your meeting?
Hmm?

Your...
Uh, tomorrow morning.

Have you ever
been up here before?

Actually, no.
No, first time.

We've not had
a client up here.

It's a pretty big
coincidence you're here.

Objectively speaking,
it's a pretty big coincidence.

Yeah, but why do you say it like that?
Like what?

Like, "Coincidence."

You know what? No.

Forget about it. Never mind.
No, no, no...

Drop it.
'Cause I've been dealing with a few,

you know,
big coincidences recently.

What coincidences?

You've been looking
for work for a year,

come home,
suddenly, boop! Job.

Well, [CHUCKLES] maybe I
should have started out

looking for a job
as a waitress.

Gloria, you are not
a waitress!

This is new.

What is?
Well...

You've never been jealous
like this before.

Jealous...
I'm not jealous.

You think I'm jealous?

GLORIA: Look, all I'm saying is
it's pretty weird that you're here.

[SCOFFING] No. I am not jealous.
I've never been jealous,

no matter how many times
you've given me reason to be.

I am not jealous, never been jealous,
not about to be jealous...

And anyway,
we are not going out!

No, we're not.
So, doesn't matter.

You can do
whatever you want.

Except find a job and take
care of myself, right?

Oh, yeah, 'cause you're
really doing that.

You're just...
You're doing just great.

Just great.

You've moved back home,
working as a waitress.

[SCOFFS] So what?

In a bar, by the way.

At least your haters on the Internet
will leave you alone in a bar.

[SARCASTICALLY]
Really moving on.

Really evolving.

Used to get your friends to buy you
beers 'cause you had no money.

Now I guess you just
lean over the bar

and pour yourself
a cheeky one.

Hmm?

I used to lend you money.
Now, you're just working for tips.

It's great.
Doing really great.

[SIGHS]

I gotta go.
No. No.

Look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, I just...

No, it... I've been trying
to talk to you for a while.

I just... I acted like
a total jerk, I'm sorry.

No, I mean,
I have to go to the bar.

My shift
is starting, so...

Well, let me
give you a lift.

No, no, it's okay. No.

No, it's fine.
Look, coat.

You know. I'm here.
I might as well.

[BAR MUSIC PLAYING]

Musty. [CLEARS THROAT]

Hang on. [CHUCKLES]
What's going on here?

Sports... Wild West...

Hey, what's back there?

Is that a medieval
barbecue or something?

What is this place?

Hi.

GLORIA: This is, uh...
This is Tim.

This is Oscar.
TIM: Hello.

What's up?

You know,
it was Gloria's idea.

What?

Well, see, this side of the bar
had been closed for years.

But Gloria here thought
it was so "ironic"

that she was like, "Hey, you
should open this back up."

And here we are.

Shall we?

So, what brings you
into town, Tim?

Um, work.

Work.

Mmm. Good. Work.

I'm sorry, do you
want anything to drink?

Oh, sure, I'll, uh, take a beer.
Thanks.

Great. Make it two.

It's good having her back in town.
Yeah.

And she's been
a real help around here.

Lot of great ideas.

No, it's just a surprise,
that's all.

Oh, yeah? Why?

You don't think she's capable
of doing a job like this?

Well, no, of course she's...
She's capable.

'Cause anybody
can do this, right?

No. I mean, it's as worthy
a job as anything else.

Well, I'm glad
you find it to be worthy.

No, I just... She's never done
anything like this before, you know?

Hey, guys, can you please not
talk about me like I'm not here?

Hey, Oscar, can I have another
cup of coffee, please?

Actually, hold on.

Don't go. One sec, Joe.

Please. Sit.

Tim, what would you say would
be the most irresponsible thing

you could do in this bar?

What do you think
that is?

Well, for example,

imagine I were to stand up right
here and show you my ass.

That'd be pretty rude.

And yet,
it's not the first time

something like that's
happened in here.

[CHUCKLING]

Not this early,
of course,

but it has happened.
Right, Joe?

JOE: Yes. Now, can I get
some more coffee, please?

One sec.

I could take a piss over
there in that corner booth,

break one of those windows,

you and me, we could get
in a big old fistfight

right here
in front of everyone.

[OSCAR CHUCKLES]

Those would all be
irresponsible things to do.

But none of them

are the most
irresponsible thing.

One sec, Joe,
I'll be right with you, okay?

[CRASHING, CLATTERING]

[OSCAR GRUNTS]

This has been
sitting back there for

almost 10 years now.

Everybody thinks there's a
bottle of fancy bourbon

or something
like that in here,

but, well, they'd be wrong.
Nope, nope, nope.

This is actually the most
illegal thing in this bar.

Yeah.

Our pal, Garth,

and another buddy
of mine

gave it to me for my
birthday a while back now.

[GRUNTING]

Yeah. They got it down
in "Mehico"

when they were there
on vacation.

Still can't believe they made
it through customs with it.

Oh.

Thanks for coming in, folks!
Have a good day.

[CHAIR CRASHING]

Watch out.

Up until recently,
the boys and I...

We'd hop in the pick-up,

we'd get a big bag
of fireworks,

and then we'd drive out
to the suburbs.

We'd light 'em
all up, you know,

scare the sh*t
out of the locals,

but this, this firecracker,
the biggest one we ever had,

never made the trip.

Not that we were afraid
to use it.

On the contrary, we just
thought it was so big

we wanted to save it
for a special occasion.

[CHUCKLES]
So we left it behind, every time.

Then,

we reached a point
where we just grew up.

Stopped screwing around
like that at night.

And our friend here

found its way to
the shelf back there.

And it waited,
year after year,

for its big moment.

[BLOWS]

Joe, you might want
to get out of the way.

Oh, no, no, no!
GLORIA: Oscar? Oscar!

TIM: What are you doing?

What... What's he doing?
What are you doing?

No, no, no... Just... Uh...

Oh, God!
f*ck! Go!

[EXPLODES]
Oh, sh*t!

[GASPS]

[SHRIEKS]

[FIRE ALARM BEEPING]

[GLORIA SIGHS]

Okay. Let's get
out of here. Okay.

[CLATTERS]

OSCAR: How about that, huh?
[GASPS]

You are a crazy person!
Come on, Gloria.

I just did the most irresponsible
thing you could do in this bar.

And you wanna know what?

Even so, Gloria's not
gonna leave with you.

What? Of course she is.
Come on.

Gloria?

I am leaving here
at midday tomorrow.

Please come with me.

Gloria, I didn't
have a...

A meeting. I... [SIGHS]

I came here for you.

I lied.

I'm sorry.

[OSCAR TUTTING]

Please.

What a schmuck.

[DOOR SLAMMING]

[SNIFFLING]

[DOOR CREAKS OPEN]

[SCREAMS, GASPING]

Jesus!

[STAMMERS]

I'm sorry about that.

Didn't mean
to scare you.

What... How did you
even get in here?

Your parents gave my parents
a copy years ago.

Okay. Just leave the keys,
and get out.

Come on. Sit down.
Take it easy.

Get out. Get out,
or I'll call the cops!

Go ahead.

[TUTS]

Thank you.

Now, I, uh, [SIGHS] came here because
of what your boyfriend said.

Ex-boyfriend.
Whatever.

The whole thing about
you going back with him.

Thought you might be
thinking about it.

I'm just here to make sure
you don't call him.

If you want to,
please, go ahead.

Get some sleep.
I'll be right here.

You've lost your mind.

You know that, right?

What matters now
is that you don't lose yours.

[SIGHS]

[WIND WHOOSHING]

[SIGHS]

[THUNDER CRASHING]

[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]

[THUNDER CRASHES]

[THUNDER CRASHES]

[SIGHS]

What's wrong?

You hate yourself.

What?

I used to think
it was something else,

that you wanted me
to be yours,

that you wanted
to possess me,

but, no, it's so much
simpler than that.

You hate yourself.

What are you talking about?

You can't stand that
your life feels so small.

[GLORIA SCOFFING]

It's that simple.

And sad.

Hmm.

[BAG RUSTLING]

[CELL PHONE CLICKING]

[SIGHS]
[RINGING TONE]

Tim. Listen,
I can't explain now,

but I'm coming with you.

Okay? Bye.

[SIGHS]

[AIR RAID SIRENS]

[CHUCKLES]

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]
[GROANING]

[PANTING] Um...

[GROANING]

Uh...

[GRUNTING]

[YELLING]

[SHRIEKING]

[GROANS]

[GROANING]

No. No, no! Hey! Hey!

No. No! No!

[GRUNTS]
[GLASS SHATTERING]

[PANTING]

[GRUNTING]

[OSCAR GASPS]

[PANTING]

[GLORIA SHOUTS]

[FOOTSTEPS]
[GASPS]

[GASPS]

[GRUNTS]

sh*t!

[PANTING]

[BOTH PANTING]

[GRUNTS]

[PANTING]

[PANTING]

[FOOTSTEPS]

[BOTH PANTING]

[LIVELY CHATTER]

[GASPING]

[DISTANT CLAPPING, CHEERING]

[GRUNTING]

[GRUNTS]

[GROANS, COUGHING]

[GASPING]

[OSCAR GRUNTS]
[GLORIA GROANS, COUGHING]

[SILENCE]

[SIGHS] Hey.

You can go home
if you want.

Go back to New York.
It's totally your call.

But every morning
you're not here,

this'll happen.

[AIR RAID SIRENS]
[GLORIA GASPING]

No, no! No! No! No!

[LOUD CRASH]
[PEOPLE SCREAMING]

[GLASS SHATTERING]

[CAR ALARMS BLARING]

[GLORIA INAUDIBLE]

[LOUD CRASH]

[HELICOPTERS WHIRRING]

[SCREAMING CONTINUES]

[LOUD CRASH]

[LOUD CRASH]

[GLORIA'S CRYING ECHOING]

[PAPER RUSTLING]

[SIGHS]

[SIGHS]

[GLASS SHATTERING]

[CELL PHONE
VIBRATING, BEEPING]

Gloria, what the f*ck is wrong with you?
What is going on?

Okay. I'm sorry.
TIM: Where are you?

I didn't know where you were,
what happened to you...

I know.

I couldn't tell you before now,
'cause I was on a plane...

On a plane?
Yeah. I had to fly somewhere.

What do you
mean "somewhere"?

Ooh, uh...

Are you... Are you...
Are you f*cking with me?

Is this a joke?
No, listen,

I just wanted to let
you know that I'm okay,

and I... I'm really...

I'm very sorry
that I stood you up.

No, are you gonna tell me
what's going on here?

[LIVELY CHATTER]

No.
Come on.

I think you owe
me an explanation.

What? Why?
No. No, I don't.

Uh, when you kicked me
out of your apartment,

you said that I
was out of control

and you couldn't
help me in that state.

Well, buddy,

right now, I am more
out of control than ever.

Well, where
are you? Gloria?

Gloria? Gloria! Glori...

[AIR RAID SIRENS]

[LIVELY CHATTER]

[LIVELY CHATTER]

[HEAVY BREATHING]

[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]

[CROWD GASPING]

[ALL SCREAMING]

[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]

[ALL SHOUTING]

[SOLDIERS SHOUTING IN KOREAN]

[LOUD CLANKING]

[HELICOPTERS WHIRRING]

[KNUCKLES CRACKING]

[METAL SCREECHING]

[SCREAMING]

[SHRIEKING]

[SHRIEKING]

[LOUD THUD, RUMBLING]
[GASPS]

[LOUD THUD, RUMBLING]

[HELICOPTERS WHIRRING]

[FOOTSTEPS ECHOING]

[RUMBLING CONTINUES]
[GASPS]

[INDISTINCT SHOUTING ECHOES]

[RUMBLING]

[CRASHING, RUMBLING]

[GASPS]

[MONSTER GROWLING]

[GRUNTS]

[WHISPERS] Oh, sh*t!

[PANTING]

[THUDDING]

[EXCLAIMING]

[PANTING]

[SCREAMING]

[SIGHS]

[TERRIFIED GASPING]

[SIGHS]

[ROARING]

[SCREAMING]

[SOBBING]

OSCAR: [SOBBING] Please.

Please.

Put me down.

Put me down.

Put me down right now,
you f*cking bitch!

[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]

[CROWD MURMURING]

[CHEERING]

[INAUDIBLE]

[CHUCKLES]

[ANNOUNCER SPEAKING
KOREAN ON TV]

[CHUCKLES]

[IN HEAVY ACCENT]
Did you see

what just happened
to the robot?

[SNIFFLING]

Sorry. Are you okay?

Yeah.

Do you wanna hear
an amazing story?

Of course.

Uh, would you like
something to drink?

[SIGHS]