wow
now that is my kind of wake-up call
we aim to please hey i have a question
glad you held it till the end
did all that just then have anything to
do with that cute waitress from last
night
what you know the one who asked you if
you work out
i was wearing the black t-shirt i mean
you know it's totally healthy to
fantasize from time to time i know i
know that
i mean you've been harrison ford you've
been david bowie
one time you were the brawny paper towel
again
we were in the kitchen
okay well it wasn't the waitress but it
was somebody i'm gonna go make some
coffee oh come on give me a hand
is she living or is she dead dead alive
in the fantasy
come on honey who is she i'm gonna find
out
remember you're not gonna get inside my
head i get inside your pants and your
head doesn't have that tricky button fly
all right so it's the 10 day ocean dream
cruise with the three island itinerary
ah
diggity dog it's greg's birthday and i
get to go to the caribbean
well he has been working very hard and
you are married to him
now we are going to need two adjoining
cabins with a common parlor
it's one o'clock you say you're going to
make her buy us a big fancy lunch
hang on susan
two cabins yes you did know edward and i
were coming along
i was hoping i just didn't want to jinx
it
let me show you some brochures about day
trips to some of the out of the way
islands oh
good i would like to avoid the areas
where children tug at you and try to
sell you
things it's very awkward
you look pretty happy for someone about
to go on a slow boat to hell
i'm not going anywhere as soon as i tell
greg what happened he's gonna put a stop
to it even if he has to drink all the
water in the world like the five chinese
brothers
you know back home that book is the five
american brothers
you know what if we're gonna k*ll off
this cruise i should probably get greg
something really kick-ass for his
birthday
wish i knew what he wanted what would
make your husband really happy
huh naked with a bowl
maybe with a bacon cheeseburger between
her breasts
sure boy am i hungry
wait if i can find out who greg's
fantasy woman is maybe i can get her to
sign an autographed picture or something
dumber you know what we need to do right
now take you out and buy you some proper
cruise where
um actually susan's getting kind of
hungry
oh i'm fine come on let's go get you a
nice smart pantsuit with a big shiny
anchor on it
i got to figure out what to do here i
got to get out of going on this cruise
with my parents
no kidding dharma thinks that i should
tell them the truth and try to establish
a more honest relationship with them
i guess i'm thinking of going with an
inner ear problem that'll work out
hey all right boys big night pizza and
videos
we've got choices julia roberts
sharon stone or maybe america's girl
next door
sandra bullock huh huh
over three sh**t what game are we
playing
i'm trying to figure out who greg thinks
about when he's having sex
you know that probably depends you know
if he's trying to slow down or speed up
for me it's anna kournikova on the gas
and tommy lasorda on the break
hey honey while you're getting some
plates you want to do a little reading
maybe
little l mcpherson oh rebecca romain
stamos
or the cool and yet detached beauty of
one ms
martha stewart
martha stewart's an attractive woman
ah-ha so should i send her a little
thank you muffin basket
why is this so important to you it's
just that i believe that the more we
know about each other's fantasies and
desires the better time we're gonna have
having sex
all right honey if you're really
uncomfortable telling me that's totally
fine
okay
it's not just elena sonnenberg oh
sure she's a famous concert violinist
she's played with orchestras all over
the world she won the walter nomberg
competition oh she sounds hot
she's very sensual when she performs
we we kind of met once
you met one well did you two fiddle
around
no i i was in new york it was about six
or seven years ago and um
you know i was in this little restaurant
and uh
nadja was sitting at the bar and i kind
of caught her eye and she gave me one of
these
get it back she did this
no it wasn't bad she was just more like
this anyway when i left she was leaving
and
it was raining so we ended up sharing a
cab for like four blocks
and nothing we talked about what well
you know
the weather classical music my theory
that yo-yo ma
is to the cello what carl sagan wants to
science an important popularizer but not
a groundbreaker
sounds like you had a moment
we did
wait a minute trying to guess greg's
fantasy girl
but dharma you're a greg's fantasy girl
you won't shut up about it at work
that ought to be good for about a half
day off huh
celia the leche is not very bueno is it
i'm sorry mrs montgomery i will bueno it
up for you
what did she mean by that i don't know i
don't speak spanish like you do mother
no thank you um listen there was
something i wanted to talk to you about
today um
dharma told me about the cruise oh and i
could make something up but the truth is
yes i've developed an inner ear problem
and it's going to give me vertigo on the
boat
oh yeah oh have you seen anybody yes i
saw dr cranston
didn't he retire yes but i i i saw him
on the golf course
oh and he examined your ear right there
on the golf course
well there was a slow foursome in front
of us and and he had a
flashlight on his keychain and and i i
i i don't have an inner ear problem
mother the truth is
i don't want to go on the cruise with
you and dad
oh i i know that's blunt but frankly i
wish we had the kind of family where we
could be honest instead of having to
tiptoe around
people forgive me but i'm not aware of
anybody who has to tiptoe around me
come on mother do you really think that
dad enjoyed sitting on a blanket in the
park and watching othello
he cried it's because you ran out of
wine
what about celia what about her celia
spent 30 years in this country don't you
think she finds it a little
condescending
that you speak to her in broken spanish
oh oh
i don't mean to upset your mother please
gregory why would i be upset
it's delightful to find out that one son
considers one to be a
a despotic monster
and if you and um ever have children i
hope i will be permitted to visit them
i think this is a real breakthrough for
the whole family
hi honey hi how was your day
how was work how was pete uh good fine
and uh hungover
what are you doing i got you your
birthday present
i didn't have time to wrap it actually
you do because my birthday's not till
next week
there you go
so this is something we'll enjoy
watching together
oh yes i think this is really going to
work for you
oh boy hi greg
it's me nadja just wanted to say hello
to my number one fan
and next time you're in new york city i
share another cab
[Applause]
[Music]
wow
that's your fantasy girl
how did you get her to do that oh you're
never going to believe it i tracked her
down to a concert hall in minneapolis i
told her all about you
the restaurant in the cab right now you
think about her when we have sex
well good so you covered everything
oh she thought it was adorable i don't
know what to say
you want to watch it again uh maybe
maybe later i'm just gonna go
uh change my clothes
i get the wrong nadia salerno sonnenberg
it's not exactly the reaction i was
hoping for
we didn't even have sex
totally putting off calling nadja she's
gonna be really disappointed
well actually honey i'm not surprised
frank responded that way
abby when it starts coming back out does
that mean he's full
well he usually eats one whole jar one
okay
all done dharma you have to understand
that male sexuality is a delicate
delicate thing
since when and i'm afraid that by
shining a light on greg's fantasy you
destroyed it
poor greg i kicked in the motel room
door of his libido with a search warrant
and a cop
sweetie it's all right i'm sure that he
has other women he thinks about during
sex
i know you're just trying to make me
feel better but i can't count on that
we're gonna have to find some way to
replace greg's fantasy
you want your husband to think about me
while you're having sex
that's what we're hoping for
so then you know i tried to find another
violinist who would flirt with him but i
gotta tell you they're a pretty prudish
bunch
and uh then i thought you know maybe it
doesn't have to be a violinist at all
maybe it was more about the restaurant
in the moment
yeah this no not this it was like that
so what do you say this is the creepiest
thing i've ever heard
or loving it's not like he's some weird
raincoat black socks kind of guy it's
not like he's gonna stalk you
no he's just gonna think about me you're
not gonna do this are you
no okay
boy picking up chicks is hard
you know what listen if you're really
not doing this because you think it's
creepy that's totally cool but if you're
at all saying no
because you're uncomfortable with how
beautiful you are you should deal with
that because you
are a babe and you should be celebrating
your babishness
hey you know i don't have a problem with
how i look okay
i'm fine with how i look
it's other people you know
they're the ones with the problem they
see this this face in this body and
i have a mind
you let it out let it out nobody thinks
a beautiful woman can be talented
nobody takes me seriously
that's that's why i had to give up my
dream
and what did you want to be a
hairdresser
hello mother
what were you thinking this is about
mother i assume
i race you like my own son i
walked you to your first day of school i
made you
fish sticks and tattered thoughts your
mother forbid it
you're up
what were you thinking all i did was
tell mother the truth about the crews
and suggest that we try to be more
honest with each other
well that was a damn stupid thing to do
things were going along just fine people
got up they went about their business
they had a little something to eat and
they went to bed
and if there was some kind of trouble we
we dealt with it in our own way without
going on and on about how we felt or
what we thought
see the value in that
i don't know what i was thinking i
should never have told my mother the
truth i should have just sucked it up
and gone on the cruise
no i think it was good that you told me
the truth
this is a friend of yours who did your
hair
yup you know what i think i will have a
glass of wine
i'm gonna go see what they've got well
honey the list is right here oh
well no you just can't trust him honey
you gotta see it come out of the bottle
a glass of red wine please
all right let's make a fantasy here did
he notice your hair
he did is he looking
if he keeps looking away you gotta lock
eyes i'm
looking looking isn't blocking watch
sure you got the hair working for ya
gotta go back now but when i get it from
the table you try again
i already have less i know but you can
never have too much
then it goes right through you you
didn't even drink yours
just the thought of it
[Music]
okay
[Laughter]
[Music]
i forgot my purse
i'll get it oh i just need my lip gloss
oh it's right there
there you go thank you i think it's
under there okay okay
what are you doing with them buy me a
drink
i'm buying you dinner who are you
working for here
come on greg look up no no my sunglasses
are clean honey that's just a scratch
please don't find the loose screw
[Music]
hi she has low blood sugar and she needs
to eat right away
and she's thirsty
own empathy
[Laughter]
[Music]
cleaning your glasses with tissue
because you know that will scratch them
good to know hey it's raining
new shoes we should take a cab okay
there's one why don't you go get it chop
chop
i'm sure
sorry i did everything i could yeah
until your dinner came and you never
looked up again
how do you not weigh 300 pounds why are
you so upset with me
i don't know maybe because it looks like
my head was licked by a flock of cows
anyway we have one last sh*t just follow
my lead
honey this nice lady is going in our
direction
and she's too full to walk so we're
gonna give her a ride
okay nice lady go ahead hop in go ahead
sweetie no greg you go ahead
you know what these shoes are waterproof
or so they say i better test them out
you guys go ahead
what's going on here and have yourself a
fantasy
we'll take the next one
karma dharma do you want to tell me
what's going on here
i ruined your niger fantasy you know
the restaurant the rain the cab
i was trying to get you someone new that
woman who just burped in the cab
she's your mother's travel agent and i
had to let her do my hair and buy her
dinner and two appetizers
and you still don't have a fantasy girl
sorry
i don't need a fantasy girl
really really
so you'll find someone on your own
that's what i'm saying
mother dad i want to apologize for what
happened before
and the reason that i said all those
things is because i was overwhelmed by
the generosity of your gift and
embarrassed by your
generosity
well that's understandable yes that
makes sense
and i can't tell you how excited darma
and i are to go on the cruise with you
and dad
you're welcome oh cafe con
dolce ha ha bueno habisi montgomery
habla pagnolcomona idiot
gracias
05x10 - Dream A Little Dream of Her
Watch/Buy Amazon
Free-spirited Dharma, a yoga instructor and dog trainer, meets and falls for polar opposite Greg, a Harvard-educated U.S. attorney.
Free-spirited Dharma, a yoga instructor and dog trainer, meets and falls for polar opposite Greg, a Harvard-educated U.S. attorney.