honey have you seen my other black belt
aha i knew it
for some time now i've suspected that
there's a significance to the black
belts the one you're holding is the
every day my shoes are black i need to
hold my pants up black belt
but this one this is the special
occasion black belt today is your first
day of work at your father's company
hence the craving for mr lucky
i don't have some kind of special black
belt
okay just to guess the plaid boxers with
the butterfly
oh hi donald hey dog hey guys what's the
special occasion
today's greg's first day at montgomery
industries oh
uh we got your mail again oh thank you
and i brought this comic book for dharma
did you do this yeah guy kinko says his
best comic book has run off all week
the blonde tornado yeah she has all the
power of a tornado
and she's blonde and she's you
hey it's me wow i'm hot well
i might have used dharma as a jumping
off point but actually the blonde
tornado is a mixture of a number of
people i know
who all look just like dharma so what
are the blonde tornado's powers besides
being able to inflate her breasts to
twice their normal size well
she can turn herself in a tornado and
wreak havoc wherever she goes huh
just like the real one who's the
the runty guy with the briefcase in the
suit uh
that's her mild-mannered sidekick i
gotta go to class
see donald thanks for thinking on me
well actually i wasn't thinking of you i
mean
of course i was thinking about it
are you okay with that yeah why well
cause there's a weird kid downstairs
drawing dirty pictures of you
they're not dirty come on what do you
call that it's just
limber nobody can bend like that
oh yeah follow me
you might want to start unbuckling mr
lucky
[Music]
[Music]
[Applause]
good morning janet oh good morning mr
montgomery
do you think that you could call me greg
not with any level of comfort
okay then all right you have a welcome
aboard at nine
followed by a staff meeting and then
lunch at 12 30. i'm sorry what is a
welcome award
we just did that thank you janet
oh fancy i can see why you left me and
pete behind to rot
uh janet this is my former secretary
marlene anchante
hello you left a lot of crap at the
office this is most of it
pete wouldn't get in the box you guys
are gonna be fine
pizza uh uh a competent lawyer and you
have um
skills you guys are gonna be a great
team hmm give us a week till one of us
is slabbed out cold with my nail file in
his neck
nice to meet you yeah let's do lunch
don't let her bother you i kind of took
her by surprise with this whole thing
and she's
a mean little person it's marvelous in
front of the widow he can look out at
the bay and steer
mother what are you doing oh hello
darling lorenzo
you remember my son yes of course who
can forget that magnificent jawline
thank you um uh what's with the wiggle
well i
am redecorating your new office i'm
going with the nautical theme
as befits my little captain of industry
mother not a captain and i don't want my
office to have a theme
oh listen to him all grown up and taking
charge
howard uh come in they were just leaving
aye aye captain
you know that wheel was on sale i don't
think we can return it
it's funny the boss's son gets a ship's
wheel and a view of the bay
and my office looks out on a billboard
advertising monistat 7.
okay uh come in everyone um let me just
say before we start uh what a pleasure
it is to be working with all of you and
despite who my father is i want you to
treat me like just another member of the
team
ah whipping your crew into shape huh son
well dad i was just
explaining to them that i'm new here and
you don't have to explain anything
you're a montgomery
your name's on the building for god's
sake
now remember when you're talking to him
you're talking to me
oh okay um uh uh what next um why don't
you tell us a little something about
yourself
maybe the long hard road that brought
you to montgomery industries
hi abby hey greg where's dharma oh i'm
afraid dharma's been kidnapped
and who shall we get to save her sounds
like a job for the blonde tornado
[Applause]
technically i'm supposed to spin when i
walk but
is there a reason you're dressed as the
blonde tornado greg does a person need a
reason to dress as a superhero
yes okay fine there's a comic book
convention and i'm going as the blonde
tornado to help donald promote his comic
book
by parading around like that in front of
horny teenage boys
and their moms honey do you have a
problem that other people find me
attracting no
no no that's that's that's not it um
abby do you understand what the problem
is here
no not really greg i mean dharma is
challenging the male archetype of the
superhero and if she can encourage
teenage boys to celebrate their
sexuality through self-gratification
right on sister daughter whoosh
oh no before you say anything according
to forbes magazine the pacific rim look
is popping up in the offices of
america's foremost executives
mother i know you mean well but i really
don't need your help
all i need is a desk and a chair and a
round metal trash can
oh i think what he's suggesting is retro
50s postmodern yes and he's doing it
very
forcefully
if you're not busy mr cavanaugh has
stuff oh really great hey guy how are
you
oh sorry
it's not my real desk oh it will be when
it grows up
so what brings you by well i just wanted
to bring you by a little something for
your new office oh that's very nice of
you
i didn't know what you needed so uh
here's ten bucks
thanks mm-hmm listen we didn't really
get a chance to talk about uh
you know my taking this little
sabbatical from the practice are we okay
yeah we're fine good yeah everything's
going great down there great
yeah there was just a couple things i
wanted to clarify you know about a few
of the cases sure absolutely
well you know that that elderly couple
that bought that rotten car and we were
trying to get their money back yeah the
finley's how's that going
well i met with him yesterday i gave him
some advice
long story short they're in jail
finleys are in jail how did that happen
i got some bad advice
listen i gotta tell you i i don't think
i can do this yes you can
pete you're a very good lawyer you just
need some confidence
hi howard very nice perfect for a number
one son
is this your uh this your decorator no
this is this is pete cavanaugh my old
partner he's a hell of a lawyer
really yeah our little practice wouldn't
have stayed open without this guy
oh okay i see what's going on here
yeah oh don't worry take a look lips are
sealed
so i guess i'll be seeing you around
here a lot then
howard hold on hey you know what
i'm gonna need this for parking uh
what what what did that mean it's no big
deal the old man put you in over your
head so you called in the brain trust
hey craig uh take a little peek in my
ear tell me if you see a pink eraser
yes citizens it's me the blonde tornado
whoosh yeah you don't have to keep
saying whoosh
and this is my sidekick captain buzzkill
come on that was a total blast i got to
sign autographs
donald sold 70 copies of his comic plus
it was totally non-creepy so you didn't
even have to be there no it wasn't
creepy at all and look some of your
non-creepy fans followed you
isn't the guy in the middle the one who
is standing next to you for a half an
hour breathing heavily
toby has asthma everybody on the floor
now oh my god
give me everything twenty's under the
drawer too he can't just lie here while
he robs mr and mrs fear paul
quiet they just bought a house i got
four kids one's at veterinary school
plus this guy ruined his life he doesn't
even know what he's doing
hey shut up back there
he knows what he's doing
all right here's the plan i'm gonna talk
to him and if that doesn't work you do
something
what no excuse me you may just be making
the biggest mistake of your life what
are you supposed to be
don't hurt him greg just just sit on him
[Applause]
i'm a little confused here all right
donald wrote a comic book
i wore the costume to help promote it
and inadvertently foiled a crime i'm not
really a superhero
but if you were a superhero you couldn't
tell us right
dharma we are so proud of you hey
craig's want to do the hard part oh
dharma i know you're just trying to
protect his male ego but i'm sure he's
evolved enough to know that a woman is
capable of being powerful
yeah that's why he's cowering on the
floor here
i was picking up the g*n doesn't matter
what you were doing greg
the point is you kept your head down and
let the professional handle the crisis
she's not a real superhero no greg now
you're just sounding petty
did you see this yeah it's american
journalism at its finest
oh my phone's been ringing all morning
everybody wants to know about the blonde
tornado including god from marvel comics
and channel 7 called they want to
interview you tonight what's your penis
tonight's no good we're having dinner
with spiderman
be right back now watch in a few minutes
the blonde tornado will suddenly appear
listen honey i know it's kind of
bothering you that i'm getting all the
credit for stopping that robbery when
you
absolutely helped
i helped was my plan
i jumped on the guy i knocked him down i
tied him up i got the g*n out of his
hands and all you did was sit on him
okay honey regardless of who did what
donald has the opportunity to here to
get a lot of publicity for his comic
book and it would really help if we just
stick to the story that's out there
okay really yeah
it'll help donald you're right you're
being the good guy here
you want me to help you with that
sorry push
what was the uh thinking here
according to mr lorenzo it says that
you're a professional but you're
also in touch with your playful side
would you let mr lorenzo know that i
don't have a playful side
i'll call him right now thank you
i had a question but if it's nap time i
can come back
what is it howard well if it's not too
much trouble could the blonde tornado
possibly autograph that or my daughter
lily
of course yeah by the way could you
settle a bit in the picture there are
you crawling away or
praying i got 20 bucks on crawling
i i was picking up the g*n i had knocked
out of his hand
so that's the official explanation and
that's the actual explanation of course
i'll try to make it sound that way
anyway i have the monthly report from
our legislative analyst
should i send it directly to your friend
pete pete will not be looking at this
ooh riding the two-wheeler all by
ourselves are we
morning sun morning howard ed your boy's
doing a bang-up job
real bang-up john uh listen son
the word around the office is you're
using pete as your own private think
t*nk
quite frankly i didn't think it was that
sharp but of course you know him better
than i do that
pete has come by a couple of times but
it's just to actually i just came by to
say good work
a smart executive uses what resources he
can to cover his
ass i don't need anyone to cover my ass
of course you don't you're at montgomery
you'll always have a job here
[Music]
your frog's ringing
dharma
dharma it's three in the morning why are
you ironing your cape
you're right i'm spinning around at 200
miles an hour it's just gonna get
wrinkled anyway
what are you talking about oh
tornado when did we get a barometer
sounds like someone wants to play
twister
don't wait up for me honey
duh
there you are boy i need you to unpack
the stock options and put a nice little
display pyramid at the end of mile one
i don't know how to do that then ask
pete
pizza genius he sure
is i see you're finally wearing the
pajamas your mother got you
the pete would you cover his ass please
i got it
son get to work where's your desk here
we go
the perfect desk for my junior captain
of industry
try it gregory it says your mother's in
charge of your life
and there's nothing you can do about it
all right nobody move this is a hostile
takeover and over all your proxy votes
or i'll bury you in paperwork howard
i'm sure that we can resolve this
resolve this
daddy's boy
quick strength get on the floor crawl or
pray
so blonde tornado we meet again i don't
believe we've had the pleasure
i'm sorry blind tornado this is howard
he's a business themed super villain
howard this is the blonde tornado
well i'd love to stay and chat but i've
got a husband to save nice to meet you
nice to destroy you
what a relief i've broken the wind
tornado the chair
he's getting away
damn you blonde tornado next time you
want a fool with my little husband you
might want to check the weather report
there could be a tornado warning
[Music]
i could have helped
[Laughter]
that should do it yeah you go
thank you very much
be kind rewind
honey are you sure you want to do this
honey i know i said that i was okay with
all this but uh
i'm not okay uh i want to thank you all
for coming today there's been a lot of
confusion
about recent events but hopefully the
idea of what we're doing here
generally no hard presence just do what
i do furrow your brow
and nod okay uh
first i'm going to show a video that i
got for mr veerapong at the speedy mart
and after that uh pete will have some
comments about his level of involvement
here
uh followed perhaps by apologies from
those of you who feel it's appropriate
howard uh just in time i think you
should have a front row seat
well i hope you don't mind i found out
your wife was gonna be here so i brought
my daughter
hi sweetie don't yeah yeah
i have her on tuesdays and thursdays
she's having a hard time with the
divorce and
your wife's comic book really seems to
be helping her out
it is yeah she just needs to see that
women can be strong and assertive
without
being drunk
honey look what lily drew
son could we get on with this
um i think we're gonna skip the
videotape but but pete can uh still
clarify his presence here
oh well all right i thought your dad
would want to be the one to say this but
uh guess the word's out
hello colleagues
what well you've been dragging him here
gratis we thought we'd put him on the
team
congratulations okay oh well i i guess
that about wraps it up thank you all for
coming
now now before you say no just just give
it some thought
and for your desk a big round table
i love it
good morning janice good morning good
morning
arlene what are you doing here well your
dad hired pete so i talked to him and
you needed an assistant
voila why don't i show you what we're
working on
can't i have a manicurist appointment
and she's all the way across town
now i'll be back before you know it
oh thank god sir sorry to interrupt you
might want to turn over onto your side
you're snoring and it's bothering your
wife
05x15 - It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's ... My Wife
Watch/Buy Amazon
Free-spirited Dharma, a yoga instructor and dog trainer, meets and falls for polar opposite Greg, a Harvard-educated U.S. attorney.
Free-spirited Dharma, a yoga instructor and dog trainer, meets and falls for polar opposite Greg, a Harvard-educated U.S. attorney.