01x05 - You're More Troublesome in Flesh and Blood

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Romantic k*ller". Aired: October 27, 2022.*
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One day, a wizard claiming to be a "love cupid" named Riri appears before Anzu Hoshino, a high school girl who has no interest in romance outside of video game characters.
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01x05 - You're More Troublesome in Flesh and Blood

Post by bunniefuu »

[Anzu] It's you!

- The devil!
- You're wrong!

No devil. Riri.

- [Tsukasa] Hoshino.
- [gasps]

Huh...

[screams]

What are you two... Why are you...
How long were you both there?

I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to eavesdrop.

- I fully was.
- Dude.

[Tsukasa] I saw you following those two.

I was just gonna step in
if it started to get bad.

But, um, I...

- I never really found the right time to.
- [Anzu grunts]

[Riri] You can tell me. I get it.
I'm so conscious about mine, too.

But with yours, you worked magic,

they look like a full C cup,
not like Anzu's at all.

I'm so jealous of your push-up C cup.
C cup, C cup, C cup...


C cup!

[Riri screams]
Oh, my God!

That's too high.

[Tsukasa] Sorry about all that.

Huh? Wait, what? Oh, it's not a big deal.

[Tsukasa] And...

Hm.

Well, thank you again.

Kazuki told me
he is not looking to date right now.

Out of respect for my friend,
I can't help.

Huh?

[grunts, giggles]

[grunts]
What do you mean?

All that C cup talk
completely distracted you.

Anzu, is... is this girl here
a friend from your class?

[gasps]
It's nice to meet you!

- I am Riri Fushigi, Anzu's cousin.
- [groans]

[chuckles]

- Cousin?
- That's right.

Oh, Anzu told me so much
about both of you guys.

You are her temp roomie, Kazuki.

And you're her old friend, Junta.
Is that right?

Now, let's all head home together.

Huh?

[Riri] Talk about fate,
us all meeting like this.

Hey, the four of us
should totally have a dinner party.

At Anzu's place, of course.

[Anzu] She's not gonna stop.

You don't have to work tonight, right?

Uh, yeah.

And, Junta, you don't have
baseball practice, right?

Right.

Then let's hurry home!

- [chuckles]
- [grunts]

Come on, I'm starving.

[Anzu] Huh, huh...

- Hooray! Let's go!
- Hey! Wait!

BULLDOZING HER WAY THROUGH

[Anzu] Your magic's been
a whole lot of trouble,


but you're way
more trouble to me in flesh and blood.


[Riri giggles]

[theme music]

[Anzu] That's right.
In order to save Junta,

who's unfortunately in love with me,

just because of that devil,

and for my own sake as well,
I've gotta crush those feels!

So let's tuck in that shirt.

- No, not today!
- [yells]

[groans]

- Riri! When did you...
- [gasps]

[shrieks]
I'm so happy!

You called me by my real name
for the very first time.

I don't care about all that.

When did you decide to take human shape?

What happened to
your way less cute body, huh?

- [Riri] I'm here for support.
- Huh?

[Riri] Anzu, you're destroying
your chance of getting close to Junta,


your second personally selected
hot potential boyfriend.


That's why I thought I would step it up
and help you in person!

And with my support,

your two-hottie dinner party
will be super successful.

So now, go change into
a cuter, more girly outfit!

And don't part your hair like that.

Shut up! I look just fine like this!

No way. You look lame like that.
They'll be totally turned off.

[Anzu grunts]

[both grunt]

- Let's try a little harder! Huh?
- [Anzu grunts]

It's fine if they are turned off.

[Riri scoffs]

[suspenseful music]

[groans]

[Riri] Open.

[Anzu screams]

- [thuds]
- [Anzu] Ow!

- [groans]
- [Tsukasa] Hm...

Huh?

- [gasps]
- [grunts]

[Anzu] Our roles
have been reversed once again.


[breathes nervously]

[grunts]

[in deep voice]
Sorry.

[sighs]

I feel like weird stuff happens
when I'm with you.

Sorry.

[chuckles awkwardly]

- [laughs]
- [groans]

[evil laughter]

[Anzu] You jerk!
That was all part of your scheme.


[doorbell dings]

Thanks for the invite.

Here, my mom made karaage.

Wow, thank you!

- [Anzu] Karaage! Karaage! Karaage!
- Is that curry?

- Karaage!
- Smells good!

- Yep! Kazuki is making it right now.
- [soft chuckle]

- [all] Let's eat!
- [Riri giggles]

[cheerful music]

[moans in delight]

- So good!
- [Riri munching]

What's in it?

I added asparagus juice.

Mm... amazing!

I think it's even better
than my mom's curry.

Hey, Junta, isn't it tasty?

Yeah.

[sighs]

[Junta] He's good-looking,
he's smart, and he's a great cook.


I'm totally losing to him.

[Riri] Junta seems to be unaware
of his own awesome qualities.


More, please.

- Really?
- [Riri moans happily]

Sure. Go on and get some.

How much can I take?

Help yourself. I made plenty for us.

Oh, you did, huh?
Then, I might have seconds too.

- [Tsukasa] Aren't you on a diet?
- Huh?

Huh? Anzu, you're on a diet? But why?

Well, I... I am... just chocolate.
I'm trying to cut back on it a bit.

Your favorite video games,
chocolate, your cat.

Your three greatest desires
have all been confiscated by yours truly.

But it's so yummy. Mm.

[Anzu] I know you confiscated it.

You would even eat tons of chocolate
when you had cavities and it made you cry.

Did that even really happen?

[laughs awkwardly]

I'm going for seconds. Yah.

[Tsukasa] Go for it.

Kazuki, you're really helping Anzu out
by cooking and being so responsible.

[Junta gasps]

[Riri] Why don't you have him
stay for longer than a month?

What?

[Riri] It's stressful and dangerous
for a girl to have to live all by herself.


Riri, what are you saying?

That would be a pain
in the butt for Kazuki.

[Riri] Why would it be?

It would be easier on him,
financially too.

[Anzu grunts]

[Anzu] Shut up, you...

No, that would be
way too much to ask of her.

[Junta exhales deeply]

[Anzu] I'm so glad
that Kazuki's got common sense.


[scoffs]
It serves you right,

you stupid, idiot devil.

I'm sure you're worried
about Anzu too, right Junta?

I know. There's another empty room.

[Riri] Why don't you live with her too?

Huh?

[Anzu] Someone shut her up!
It's about to be a total chaos over here!


I think I'm in the mood
for some ice cream now.

- What? That's random!
- Hey!

Rock-paper-scissors,
and the two losers go get it.

I'm sorry, what is that now? Hm?

Hey, wait, that wand...

That's how she casts her magic.

- [Anzu] Riri!
- Uh-huh?

- There's a fly.
- [expl*si*n]

- [Riri groaning]
- Never mind. It was just some gunk.

Oh, Anzu, you're such a meanie sometimes.

[gasps]

- [chuckles]
- Anzu, my... my wand...

[Anzu] You can't use your magic
without this wand, can you?


I'm sure your intention
was to manipulate the game


so that I would end up hanging out alone
with either Kazuki or Junta.


But I won't let you.
You pushed your luck too far!


Anyway, shouldn't the one
who's in the mood

for ice cream be the one to go get it?

That way, you can pick the ones you want.

Oh, fine, I'll go with you
since you want it that bad!

- All right, let's go.
- [Riri grunts]

- [door opens, closes]
- [both exhale]

[Riri] Anzu, will you please
give me back my wand?


There's no way, Riri!

I think I'll put it
in my blender and puree it.

No. Please, don't.

If you want it back,
you'll have to get down on your knees

and beg for it.
Then go right back to your planet.

Uh...

You really are an Anti-Heroine.

Uh, it's fine.

I can just reorder it
and have it delivered.

Now, I've caught you off guard!
[yells]

[gasps]

[both grunt]

Huh!

[gasps]

[shrieks]

Oh, man.

[groans]
If the wand gets contaminated,

I can't use it again
until it gets purified.

Oh, really? Well, that's disappointing.

- [water running]
- [dishes clanking]

[Tsukasa] By the way,
you have nothing to worry about.

Huh, what do you mean?

You might have heard this from Hoshino,
but I'm not interested in dating.

You must be worried that some strange guy
is staying with the girl you like.

- [plate shatters]
- Huh?

[Junta gasps]

I got it.

[Junta] Why would you say
something like that?

The girl I like...

[Tsukasa] Well, it's true, right?

[gasps]

No way! Is it really that obvious?

And wait, does Anzu know about it too?

I don't think so. She's kind of oblivious.

That's why there's no way
I'd fall for her, so don't worry.

You think Anzu has nothing to offer?

No, that wasn't my point.

Listen...

You don't have to worry about it.
Hoshino only likes me as a friend too.

[Junta] Kazuki, you don't need
to worry about my feelings.

It's not like I even really have a say.

As long as Anzu's happy,

then so am I.

I just have to try to keep up with her.

Jeez, why the heck
am I telling you all of this stuff?

Seriously.

We're back.

- We got all sorts of ice cream...
- [wails]

...so let's dig in.

Sorry, Anzu, I broke a plate.

[Anzu] What? Are you okay?

[Junta] Yeah.

[Riri sobs]
Boo-hoo-hoo. My poor wand.

[mellow music]

Dinner was great, thanks.

Mm-hm.

Well, Kazuki's the one
who made most of the food.

The ice cream was good too.

Thank you,
but I just bought them at the store.

[chuckles]

[Junta] Can I come for dinner again?

[Anzu] Huh? Of course.

Okay, I think I'm actually gonna run home.

Amazing. Be safe.

I will. See ya.

[Anzu sighs]
I'm so exhausted.

But it looks like I survived another day.

Hey, Kazuki. Thanks for doing
all that at the last minute.

[Tsukasa] Huh? Uh, sure.

It's been a while
since I've had such a lively dinner.

That's right. You live alone, don't you?

[Tsukasa] Yeah.

[Anzu] Now that I think about it,
maybe there's a good reason that


he lives all by himself.

There are tons of complicated
family situations out there.


It's probably not polite
for me to ask him.


I'm sure he's going
to tell me about it someday.


[birds chirping]

- [clattering]
- [sleepy groan]

What's that?

- [clattering continues]
- Hm?

[Riri grunting]

Uh-oh.

- [grunts, groans]
- What the heck are you doing?

What were you gonna do
with my beloved treasures?

Huh? What is this? Revenge from yesterday?

[both grunt]

- Bye!
- [Anzu] Hey!

- Wait... Ugh...
- [grunts]

Oh, I, um...

There was a bug. Morning.

- Nice hair.
- [shrieks]

[bright music]

Where's your old friend today?

[Anzu] He's got morning practice.

Gotcha.

Oh, hey, you think it's cool
to walk to school together?

No one else from school lives
around here. It should be fine.

All right.

[indistinct laughter]

[sighs]
I'm starving.

I can't wait for lunch.

Don't get caught eating early again.

- [Anzu] Where's Makoto today?
- Hm?

- [Tsukasa] He slept in.
- [Anzu laughs]

[Anzu] Is he gonna make it?

- I'm sure he will.
- [boy 1] Oh, hey!

Isn't that your old friend, Junta?

[Junta gasps]

[boy 2] Hm? She's with Kazuki, dude.

- This is bad, man. The girls love him.
- Yeah? Hey! What?

Junta, what's up?

[Junta] Good morning.

You're working hard, huh?

[chuckles]

[gasps]

Yep.

Are those two together, then?

No, they just live
in the same neighborhood.

So, that's why you were
asking about him yesterday.

No, it's not like that.

Hey, Anzu, when did you
and Kazuki become friends?

Oh, I, uh...

You walked to school with him.

I'm dying to know,

because he seems like
the type who's not into girls.

Oh, no, uh, we just live
really close to each other. That's all.

[Anzu] Sorry, I can't tell you anything.

- Oh, my gosh, that is, like, so unfair!
- Oh, my gosh, that is, like, so unfair!

Yeah, Kazuki and I
are really just friends.

- Really?
- That's it?

[Anzu] Y... Yeah...

Okey dokey.

Well, I have to say
this is very exciting for me.

You're finally
in a romantic comedy situation

for the first time ever.

[Anzu] Saki, you are correct.

No. I'm so jealous.

You can't hog them all, okay?

[moans]

Oh, yeah, how's living alone?

We should have a sleepover soon.

[girls] I'm so in!

- [giggling]
- Yeah, let's do it.

[lively music]

[yawns]

I'm so sleepy.

Since Kazuki has work tonight,

I'm alone as long as Riri doesn't show up.

[sighs]

[cries]

Damn it! I'm sleepy but I want a game!

I want chocolate!

And Momohiki!

I'll distract myself with a nap.

Momohiki...

- [door opens]
- [Junta] I'm home.

- [brother] You're back, Junta!
- [laughter]

[brother] You're sweaty!

What did you say? Ah, take this!

Junta, hon, could you drop this off
at Anzu's house

right after you take your bath?
It's nikujaga.

What? Again? Isn't it late?

[Junta's mom] It's all right.
She can eat it tomorrow.

- [giggles]
- [brother] But, Mom, he's just got back!

[door opens]

[snores]

[moans]

It's dark. Guess I must have overslept.

- [footsteps in distance]
- Hm? Huh?

Is Kazuki back from work already?

Hm, it's too soon for him to be back.

So that means that thing is here again.

[laughs]

- [quick footsteps]
- [grunts]

Hey, you! I'll smash your head in,
you bastard!

[gasps]

- [Anzu] An underwear thief?
- [thief breathing shakily]

What? You ignore the teen girl's room

- and steal the mom underwear!
- [thief yells]

[exhales]
Okay now, why did I say that?

- Huh? He's running!
- [thief grunts]

[action music]

- [Junta] I wonder if she's home.
- [thuds]

[leaves rustling]

- [grunts]
- [gasps]

[Anzu screams]
Stop!

Hey Junta!

[Junta] Who was that guy?

- An underwear thief!
- [Junta] What?

Ugh, he's escaping! I need a cop.

[pants]

What? Junta?

Is he gonna be okay?

[pants]

[grunts]

Don't move!

- [thief groans]
- [pants]

Hey, there they are! Officer, right there!

[screams]

[wails]

Huh?

So, after all of that...

[Anzu] Jeez. It's already so late.

I'm sorry you came to bring me food
and got wrapped up in that whole mess.

[Junta] It's all good.

But you, you really saved me, Junta.

You're faster than lightning.

- That thief had terrible luck.
- [laughs]

I'm glad the police was able
to get here right away, too.

[Anzu] Mm-hm.

Ah, I forgot I just woke up
from a nap. Is my hair a disaster?

[Junta] What? No, not at all.

It's really cu...

Uh, it's really?

Normal! It's totally normal!

[laughs]
That's good.

My hair kind of explodes when I sleep.

I'm jealous of Saki's hair.
I wish I had hair like hers.

[Junta] Hey, listen.
I'm really glad nothing happened.

If anything happened to you, I...

[romantic music]

Hm?

I'll just run to the store.

- You don't have to!
- You've got it all wrong.

An underwear thief?

Yeah.

Well, it's a good thing
the guy didn't try to att*ck you.

There are plenty of nut cases out there.

Well, apparently.

But I think the thief was probably
more scared of me then I was of him.


Does that mean you said
something to thr*aten him, then?

[Tsukasa chuckles]
My bad, I know it's messed up.

[Anzu] You think this is funny?

[phone vibrates]

Oh, my mom.

- I got to take this.
- Of course.

- [Junta] Mom...
- Oh, hey,

did you finish work
early today or something?

It was slow so they sent me home.

[Anzu] Oh, gotcha.

By the way,
since the bedroom window's broken,

could you sleep on the couch tonight?

Well, as long as someone doesn't
fall asleep holding me down,

we're cool.

Huh?

Hm...

[exclaims]

[grunts]
Well, I am actually very sorry I did that.

[Junta] What? Well, wait a minute!

- I mean that's a little...
- Huh?

[Junta] Oh, okay, fine.
I'll give her the phone.

Sorry about this, my mom wants to talk.

Huh? Sure.

- Hello?
- [Junta's mom] Anzu, it's been a while.

I heard about what happened.

Oh, it's fine.

[Junta's mom]
That must have been so scary.

Oh, well, yeah.

[Junta's mom]
I'm so worried about you, sweetie.

You must be scared all by yourself.

You should have
a bodyguard, don't you think?


What now?

[Junta's mom] It's too dangerous
for a girl to live alone.


- I'll lend you Junta for a while.
- [Anzu grunts]

Look, our place is beyond cramped
with all my boys,


and it's just a total mess.

Use him all you want. I'll let Miyo know.

[Anzu] My mom?

[Junta's mom]
Oh, I'm sorry. The baby is crying.

I'll talk to you later, okay?

[Anzu groans]
Hm, this forced scenario...

I'm having mad deja vu right now?

[Riri] Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

[Anzu] I knew it!

So that means... Uh, no, no way!

All three of us will be living together?

- Please, be delicious.
- All right, this one's next.

- Listen to this.
- Oh, what happened?

[all laugh]

- Why!
- Yes!

A fanfare, please!

And a big congratulations!

Did you fall for my little trick?

I bet now you don't feel like
skipping the ending, right?

In today's world, you can watch
whatever you want at your own convenience.

But don't you think in that process
we've also lost something?

[sighs]
Don't just let things be! Come on!

Let's go on a super-duper happy adventure!

So I can make sure I get paid.

[closing theme music]

♪ Ah, yeah! ♪

♪ Let's go! ♪

♪ Lo-love! ♪

♪ Here we go! ♪
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