01x06 - See No Evil/The Great Unwashed

[bunniefuu]

[Jenny]
♪ 5:00, get a call
to go blading ♪

♪ At the skate park
down by the mall, ♪

♪ But my mom says ♪

♪ I gotta prevent
hostile aliens ♪

♪ From annihilating us all. ♪

Hyah!

♪ With the strength
of a million and 70 men, ♪

♪ I guess I really
shouldn't complain. ♪

♪ Still, I wish I could
go for a walk ♪

♪ Without rusting
in the rain. ♪

♪ It's enough
to fry my brain. ♪

♪ So welcome to my life
as a teenage robot, ♪

♪ The story of my life
as a teenage robot. ♪

♪ My teenage robot life. ♪ ♪

Oh, ian mccully,
you're such a bad boy.

Even if the world is against
you, you hold your ground.

Ooh, and those beautiful
blue eyes.

[Door slams]

Hello, xj9.

Hello.
Knocking?

What?

Door.

Privacy? Common courtesy?
Knocking?

Speaking of knocking, here's
something you won't knock.

A pair of enhanced
optical sensor arrays.

They're telescopic,
have macrofocus,

And will allow you to see
imagery invisible

To the human eye.

Well, they are
the same shade of icy blue
as ian mccully's.

But I think I'll stick
with my old eyes.

Honestly, xj9,
you can be so stubborn.

You have to look
at the big picture.

These eyes will increase
your crime-fighting efficiency.

Just try them on.

Trust me,
you'll like them.

Don't you want to look
like your friend, uh, ethan?

Oh, it's ian.
All right, I'll try them on.

[Whirring]

Boing!

Poink

[Whirring]

[Jenny]
whoa, you're all blocky style.

That's digital vision.

Flip through
the other settings.

[Jenny]
ultraviolet vision.

Infrared vision.

X-ray vision.

Heat vision.

Rainbow vision.

Oh, pretty colors!

Wow, I even have
sausage vision.

So what you think?

I think I'll be the
coolest-looking teenager ever!

Wow, it's like I'm seeing
the world for the first time.

The sky is so much bluer.

The grass
is so much greener.

The people
so much paler.

I'm glad you like them,
dear.

Let's park by klein's hardware
and get some transistors

To match your new eyes.

Cool posters.

Such a sad little girl.

Oh, a puppy!

This one's creepy.

Oh, it's me.

Wow, I really look freaky
on this setting.

Hey, mom, which setting
is number one?

The number one?
Normal.

That's funny.

I thought you said, "normal."

I did.

[Horn blaring]

Normal?
You call this normal?

How could you do this to me?

Do what?
What are you talking about?

I'm talking about these
wiggly-squiggly bug snakes

You call eyes.

Xj9, you're not looking
at the big picture.

And you're not looking
at this picture.

It's calledi made my daughter
a total dweeb.

You don't look dweeb;
I think you look very pa-hat.

It's pronounced "fat,"
mother,

And giant periscopes
in your head

Are not phat, dope,
or even cool.

I want my old eyes back.

What?

But these are far more
efficient.

Who cares about efficiency?

I do, and so should you,
young lady.

Now,
stop being silly.

The only way to stop being silly
is to lose these jokes.

Xj9,
you cannot go sightless.

You have a job to do.

Give me my old eyes back,
and I'll do it.

Absolutely not.

Fine.

I'll save the world
without your stinking eye--

Thud!

Crash!

If you can't even conquer
a hot dog cart,

How can you hope
to conquer evil?

Just watch me.

Bam!

Konk!

Crash!

What are you looking at?

Help! Oh, help.

Help me!

[Growling]

Cool 3-d monster.

[Growling]

[Together]
ah!

[Kid]
best effects ever!

[All]
yeah, yeah!

What's going on?

Is someone hurt?

I heard screaming.

[Kid]
that is so cool.

Hey, she's not a 3-d effect.

She's just three-dimensional.

[Booing]

Crash!

Rough day, jenn?

I've seen better.

So what's the deal
with the eyes?

Well,
it all started when--

[Slurping]

[Slurping stops]

[Intermittent slurping]

Sorry.

So I said, "keep your goggly
eyes," and I stormed off.

I don't know, jenn.

Going sightless
could be dangerous.

Maybe you should
get those eyes back.

That's easy for you
to say.

I'm the one who looked
like a king-sized dork.

Can't you and your mom
find some sort of compromise?

What, so I'd only look
like a medium-sized dork?

Either that
or get a seeing-eye dog.

Tuck, you're a genius.

I am?

I need someone
to be my eyes.

Someone intelligent,
reliable, alert.

Someone like...

Brad!

All right!

Hey, I'm just as...

As alert as brad.

I want to be the eyes.

Too bad, short stuff.
She picked me.

Well, she can
unpick you.

If we have to have this
conversation one more time--

[Tuck]
why would anyone pick you?

You two figure it out.

Just as long as someone--

Crash!

Watches out for me.

[Together]
watch out for that car!

Uh, thanks.

[People]
help!

Speed up, speed up!

Slow down, slow down!

Help!
What happened here?

He broke
into my contact lens store.

He nabbed
all my kaleidoscopes.

He took my eye shadow.

Though people tell me
I'm beautiful without it.

What did he look like?

He wore a hat.

And a coat.

I think he had a mustache.

No, it was a beard!

Or was it a scar?

[Man #1]
I remember his crooked teeth.

[Man #2]
no, dude, it was his nose.

[Man #1]
his feet were big.

I remember now.

He was invisible.

Oh, yeah!

Look, there he is!

Mostly.

[Evil laughter]

Let's get him!

Hold on.

We need a bird's-eye view.

[Tuck]
this is the coolest.

Any sign of him?

[Brad]
he's right below us.

Dive-b*mb him.

Bombs away!

We're heading
straight for him.

Straight for the ground,
pull up, pull up.

No, stay down.

Which is it?

[Tuck]
pull up!

Crash!

Look,
in the playground.

[Slurping]

Huh?

[Malevolent laughter]

Mm!

[Tuck]
stealing candy glasses
from a baby?

How lame.

You sure you don't need
eyes to fight this guy?

Duh.

What good are eyes
to fight someone invisible?

Just point me
in the right direction.

Okay, you're right
in front of him.

You missed.

Try the sidewinder.

Missed again.

Kick him with your laser leg.

[Laughs]

Hair razorangs.

[Whirring]

[Laughs]

Any luck?

Nope.

I don't get it.

Brad, did someone
take your eyes?

What's that supposed
to me-e-ean!

Brad?
Tuck?

Where are you?

Up here!

Somehow we're
levitating.

And it's kind of cool.

Well, it is.

[Whooshing]

[Tires screeching]

[Whooshing]

[Tires screeching]

Cool, huh?

Jenny, get your eyes!

Come on, brad,
don't give up now.

We almost got him.

[Brad]
get your eyes, jenny.

Tuck, here's your chance,
you can guide me.

[Tuck]
get those eyes!

O-oh,
all right.

Activate homing beacon.

Bleep-bleep-bleep

I'll be back, guys.

Don't panic.

[Screaming]

[Wakeman shuddering]
teenagers.

One day they're
operating efficiently,

And the next
they're tossing off body parts

And calling you a dweeb.

[Jenny]
mom.

I need those eyes back.

Well, well, well, seeing things
differently now, are we?

Please, mom, brad and tuck
are in trouble.

Well, I don't know.

Your sure these eyes are phat
enough for your friends?

Yes, mom.

They're phat, dope,
and way cool.

You didn't mention
their efficiency.

Well, young lady, I hope you've
learned not to be so stubborn

And to always listen
to your mother.

Sure, mom,
whatever.

Got to go!

Take my advice:
don't ever build children.

[Whooshing]

[Tires screeching]

So dizzy.

I think I'm gonna puke.

[Laughs]

Now to shed a little light
on the subject

Of the invisible man.

[Electronic warbling]

[Jenny]
hey.

You're not an invisible man.

You're an invisible eyeball.

So you've discovered my secret
with yourpowerful eyes.

They are nothing compared
to the might

Of the all-seeing
infrared ivan.

Puny humans try to challenge me
with their contacts,

Bifocals, and telescopes.

But no one shall be allowed
to match my visionary powers.

All the world's eyewear
will be mine and mine alone!

And there's nothing
you can do to stop me.

[Evil laughter]

[Crying]
irritation...
Destroying me.

[Man]
hey, eye drops here!

Huh?

Get your eye drops here.

Cooling relief
for irritated eyes.

Get your eye drops here.

Eye drops and hot sauce,
red-hot hot sauce.

Now I'll take care of you.

Hoo-hoo-hoo!

[Screaming in pain]

Anything, anything
to stop the burning.

Hey, get your magnifying glass.

Intensify the burning nature
of the sun here.

[Eyeball screaming in pain]

Get your pointy stick here.

Poing!

[Screaming in pain]

You guys okay?

Yeah.

Can we go home now?

After I take care
of this minor irritation.

Now we can go home.

Can you drop me
at my optometrist's?

[Tuck]
I think you're crazy, jenny.

Your eyes
are wicked cool!

What do you think,
brad?

Uh,

They're not totally
not cool.

Gee, thanks.

[Wakeman]
oh, xj9.

I have a surprise
for you.

What is it?

A pair of giant wax lips?

Not quite.

My old eyes!

I modified them to work
like the new ones,

Although they're not
quite as efficient.

I can't believe
you did this!

Thank you!

Well, it seemed like
there was room for compromise.

Oh, and speaking
of room,

In order
to keep them compact,

I had to put the power supply
in this fanny pack.

[Suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

Crash!

Crash!

[Man]
stop, stop!

You got to stop before
somebody gets hurt.

We're taking these
old rental cars

And turning them
into new rental cars.

It's recycling.
Doesn't hurt anybody.

No, no, no, I rented one
of these cars yesterday.

I left some
personal items in it.

Same deal, we melt down
your old personal items,

Make new personal items.

Don't worry.

You don't seem to understand.

I'm a dynamite salesman.

Dynamite salesman?

[Both]
dynamite salesman?

Dynamite salesman?

[Both]
dynamite salesman?

Dynamite salesman?

You mean to tell me one of these
cars is filled with dynamite?

Yes!

But I don't know
which one.

All of these rental cars
look the same.

Dah!
Run for your life!

Did someone say
dynamite salesman?

The cars, smashing,
dynamite, oh!

Thank you, robo girl.
You saved my bacon.

No biggie, it's all
in a day's programming.

By the way, what did you do
with the other one?

Other one?

Boom!

[Chuckling nervously]
thanks.

[Bell rings]

[Squirting]

Hey, brad.

Jenny,
where have you been?

You almost missed
your big chance.

Don prima's
having another one

Of his world-famous parties--
invitation only.

Yours truly has made the cut
for the last two parties,

So this time,
I figure I'm a shoe-in.

How doi get invited?

Just act "non-challent."

Non who?

You know, cool.

Laid-back.

Oh!

Crash!

Don't worry, dear.

We'll hide
your embarrassing position.

Why are we helping
this circuit jerk?

I can't stand her,
and neither can you.

Well, if we stand here,
nobody can see her.

Understand?

Uh--

And it would be impossible
for acertain party host

To invite acertain robot
tocertain party

If he can't see her.

That way we stay
the center of attention.

Certainly!

Hey, brad.

Oh, hey, don.

Would you like to--

That'd be great!

Um, I mean,
cool.

Thanks.

Oh, by the way,
have you met--

The names are brit and tiff,
you social-climbing oaf.

And we already
have our invites.

Thank you.

Where's jenny?

Here I am.

You must be that robot girl.

She would be quite
a conversation piece

At your party.

But, don, I thought
you wanted this party

To be a formal affair.

[Crashing]

[Brit]
I guess that robot
wasn't programmed

For personal hygiene.

Pee-yew.

[Tiff]
it stank.

I can't believe you didn't get
invited to the party, jenny.

It won't be the same
without you.

Mwah!

Oh, sorry.

Why don't you just
have your mom fix you up

So you can go
to the party?

Check my odometer.

I just had my


If she sees how wrecked
I am already, mom will total me.

[Heavenly music]

I'll bet somebody at that
garage can tune me up.

[Brad]
kind of rough-looking bunch.

You better let me
do the talking.

Hey, homes,
what you using there?

A 4/8, or an 8/16?

Uh, yeah, the 4/8.

That's what
I would have done too.

I used to use
nothing but a 3/6,

[Nervously]
but the other day,
I was fixing up my hog.

It's not really pig,
though.

It's a motorcycle, and--

You guys wouldn't be interested
in helping a girl get fixed up

For her first fancy formal
party, would you?

[All]
are you kidding?

We'd love to!

[Bright music]

♪ ♪

[Pounding]

[Crackling and hissing]

[Scraping]

[Whirring]

[Warbling]

♪ ♪

[Spraying]

[Spraying]

Gorgeous!

Bye, y'all!
Come back!

Jenny, I don't know what to say.
You look--

You look great, jenny.

I don't know.

Maybe if I just tone it down
a little.

[Horn honks
a wolf whistle]

Oh, my gosh!
Did you get a new paint job?

Um...

'Cause you look
fantastic.

I do?

You're gorgeous!

I am?

Lovely.

Stunning.

Beautiful.

[Chattering]

Wow!
Check out jenny's new look!

[Clearing his throat]
jenny.

Come here.

Surely you've heard
about my party this weekend.

I want you to be there.

Your sparkling personality

Is bound to be the center
of attention.

[Jenny]
gosh, don, I'd love to go.

Oh, that bally spit-shine
bucket of bolts.

How are we supposed
to compete with that?

Paint flames on our feet?

No, it's not about us
looking like her.

It's about her
look like a piece of rubbish.

And I know just the guy
for the job.

[Siren blaring]

Tiff, could you
please tell me

Why we're sneaking
around the slums?

Because this is where
the mudslinger lives.

Mud whom?

Shh!

[Door creaking]

[Suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

News flash!

The mudslinger
has company.

What's the scoop, dolls?

Word on the street is that
you can get the dirt on anybody.

My byline is well known,
and that's no sound bite.

Now, just give me the who,
what, when, where, and why.

Were talking about literally
getting the dirt on somebody.

The mudslinger
ain't talking about an article

Ín the sunday times.

Now, give me the details.

♪ Nothing's gonna
bug me today. ♪

♪ Cause I'm going
to don prima's partay. ♪ ♪

[Humming]

Why, yes, don.

I'd love a glass of lemonade.

[Man screaming]
help!

Help, help!

Somebody!

Oh, the pain,
the pain!

[Sobbing]

What's the story,
mister?

Headline:

"Teenager robot
is a very dirty girl."

Pftew!

[Metallic scraping]

Sling mud on me,
will you?

I'll rearrange your byline.

[Chase music]

♪ ♪

[Crashing]

♪ ♪

[Whistles]

Oink, oink

[Clicking]

Stop the presses.

Back off,
or the puppy gets it.

♪ ♪

Looks like your inkwells
run dry.

You haven't seen
the extra edition.

Boom!

Crash!

Oh!

Now I'll never be able
to go to the party.

Hey, now.

Let's go easy.

The mudslinger
isn't such a bad guy.

[Dramatic music]

I'm just a hired hand.

♪ ♪

Come on, now.

It was the krust cousins' idea.

♪ ♪

Have mercy!

The mudslinger
knows how you feel.

I've never been invited to
a party in my whole entire life.

Well then, would you like
my invitation?

Oh.

[Chattering]

[Boy]
brit and tiff--
they are so great.

Girl, we are the center
of attention.

As it should be,
dear cousin.

Splash!

[Mudslinger]
extra, extra!

Star reporter attends
social event of the season.

The krust cousins
reveal how boring

Don prima's parties are.

Big mudslinger to come
liven it up.

[People screaming]

Leave it to the krust cousins
to invite a guy like that.

My parties are not boring.

I can't stand
those krust cousins.

[All]
me neither!

[Happy instrumental music]

[Jenny]
yes, those flames are painted
on my feet.

Yes, I like them too.

[Clock ticking]

No, thank you, don.
I don't want any lemonade.

[Brad]
well, how about
some water, then?

[Laughing]

[Motor rumbling]

[Laughter]

[Splashing]

Maybe we can head over
to don prima's party.

You know,

I have a feeling that party's
gonna stink.

[Laughter]