03x10 - Puppet Bride/Historionics

[bunniefuu]

[Jenny]
♪ 5:00, get a call
to go blading ♪

♪ at the skate park
down by the mall, ♪

♪ but my mom says ♪

♪ I gotta prevent
hostile aliens ♪

♪ from annihilating us all. ♪

Hyah!

♪ With the strength
of a million and 70 men, ♪

♪ I guess I really
shouldn't complain. ♪

♪ Still, I wish I could
go for a walk ♪

♪ without rusting
in the rain. ♪

♪ It's enough
to fry my brain. ♪

♪ So welcome to my life
as a teenage robot, ♪

♪ the story of my life
as a teenage robot. ♪

♪ My teenage robot life. ♪

♪ ♪

[rain pattering]
[thunder booming]

Voilà.
The bioprocessor is in place.

[clears throat]

Teapot, pour me tea.

[whirring tone]

It works.

Oh, this isn't tea;
it's mango chutney.

[whirring tone]

Simmer down.
Oh, dear.

Well, no one said
animating

the inanimate was
going to be easy.

I'd better get to Radio Shed
to replace these parts.

[thunder booms]

I hope I'm not too late.

Hmm, this dark, ominous alley
might make a good shortcut.

[boots squishing]

[footsteps tapping]

[feet tapping]

[echo of feet tapping]

Who's there?

No.

He's come back.

No!

♪ Oh, beans, beans,
the musical fruit. ♪

♪ The more you eat,
the more you toot. ♪

[fart sound]

Wow, great.

Nice sound effects.

What sound effects?

Thanks a bunch.
Gotta go.

Wait.

Tuck, you told us
an hour ago

we could have
a bathroom break.

But you'll miss the big finale.

[screams]

Mom?
[Tuck]
Mrs. Wakeman?

[screams]

Mom.
[Tuck]
Mrs. Wakeman?

[screams]

Mom.
[Brad]
Mrs. Wakeman?

[groans]

Mom.
[Brad]
Mrs. Wakeman.

He's after me.
He's coming to get me.

You're safe with us.

We'll sing you a song
to cheer you up.

No!

Hey, what did
Lucretia ever do to you?

He's following me.
He was right behind me.

Whoever it is,
he'll have

to get
through me first.

[intense music]

♪ ♪

Don't worry, Mom.

I'll protect you
once we find out who it is.

But XJ9, I know
exactly who it is.

[together]
Who?

It was a long time ago.

I was 14 and already
considered a science prodigy.

[laser humming]

When one fateful day,

the siren song of the stage
captured my heart.

I had to be a star.

♪ La la, la la. ♪

[glass shatters]

[glass shattering]

It became apparent that I didn't
have the same talent on stage

as I did in the lab.

But science saved my dream.

With a few modifications,

my defense droid made
the perfect dummy

for a ventriloquist act.

What's with
this audience?

Haven't they seen stiff and
wooden performances before?

You're not
so bad.

I was talking
about you.

[laughing]

You seem upset,
Little Acorn.

What's eating you?

Termites.

[laughing]

I'm just tired of lumbering
from club to club,

logging so many hours,
and was hoping to branch out.

Doing what?

Feeding woodpeckers.

[laughing]

And on that note, it's time
to make like a tree and leaf.

[Wakeman]
I just pretended
to throw my voice,

while Little Acorn
did all the work.

They loved us.

But as our fame grew,

so did Little Acorn's ego.

He became abusive,
threatening me

with the worst thing imaginable.

And I was too scared

to stand up to him.

Get your hands
off me.

And don't you dare
touch that switch,

not today--
not ever again.

I'm the star of the show.

You're just holding me back.

But I created you.
I won't let you go.

Don't push me, Nora,
unless you want me to sing.

No.
I'll sing
the song.

No, anything but that;
anything but that.

[Wakeman]
My dream of stardom d*ed.

And soon after, Little Acorn
took the stage by himself

for the first time.

Feeding woodpeckers.

And on that note, it's time
to make like a tree and leaf.

[feet tap]

That dummy has
no ventriloquist.

It's not right.

It's an abomination.

Unnatural freak.

[muffled yelling]
[tomatoes squishing]

[Wakeman]
Infuriated by the rejection,

Little Acorn became the monster
they accused him of being.

Horrid humans.

What did you do to me?
Where are my defenses?

You're built
for comedy now.

[crowd yelling]

Don't let him get away!

Torches,
we need torches!

And pitchforks.

Pitchforks,
torches.

Get your pitchforks
and torches here.

My battery.

Where'd he go?
He's gone.

Uh, anybody want to
go grab a burger?

[all together]
Yeah.

Ha, I lost them.

I...

[whirring down]

I never saw him again.

But I feared that
he someday might return,

that awful, loathsome puppet.

You don't have
to listen to this, Lucretia.

Come on, Brad.

Evil puppets--what
has this world come to?

Mom, I'm gonna
patrol outside.

No way Little Acorn is
gonna get past me.

I guess I'll go
back to the lab

and work on my
bioprocessors.

Hello, Nora.

[gasps]
Little Acorn.

Have a seat.

Where have you been
all this time?

Laying powerless
because you abandoned me.

Alone for decades
until someone found me.

He took me home,

the fool.

[screams]

[giggles maniacally]

[expl*si*n]

After so many years
on my own,

I yearned for companionship.

That's why we have
unfinished business,

you and I.

Don't hurt me.

Oh, I'm not going to hurt you.

I need you

to make me a bride.

[laughs sinisterly]

Drat.

No, no; making you was a mistake
that I will not repeat.

[Jenny]
Mom, are you in there?

XJ9.

Still making defense
droids, eh, Nora?

Careful, XJ9.
He's unstable.

Nora, you don't have
to make me a bride.

You already have.

Bride?
In your dreams, blockhead.

A woman with spirit;
I like that.

Spirit this,
little man.

Think about it, XJ9.

We could make beautiful
music together.

Hey, if you prefer
tall guys, I can do that.

Why fight when we can dance
across the world stage?

I can make you a star.

How's that
for seeing stars?

Now a big hand
to wrap up your performance.

Sorry, Acorn.
This girl is staying solo.

One way or another, XJ9,
you will be mine.

Puppets, assemble.

You can thank your mother's
new bioprocessor technology

for the creation
of my puppet army.

Just look at them.

They all have that special
someone in their lives.

Punch has Judy.

Ert has Bernie.

Lola Girl has Knuckle Hand.

So why not me?

Little Acorn, stop, please.

Nora, do you want
to hear the song?

No, not the song.

Puppets, att*ck!

Bring it on.

[tapping]

That all you got?

[muffled yelling]

[metal clanking]

[laughs]
Prepare my bride
for our wedding.

Do you take this robot
to be your wife?

I do.

Do you take this dummy
to be your husband?

The ring.

Ah, yes,

one of Wakeman's
bioprocessors

wrapped in an unending band.

This ring will provide me
with complete and total control

of my new wife.

Once I place this ring
on XJ9's finger,

she will be
mine forever.

No!

Release me, Nora, or else.

Not this time; I won't let
you take my daughter.

♪ This is the song
that goes on forever, ♪

♪ 'cause it doesn't
ever end. ♪

♪ We will finish
singing it never, ♪

♪ 'cause here we go
again--everybody. ♪

[together]
♪ This is the song
that goes on forever, ♪

♪ 'cause it doesn't ever end. ♪

♪ We will finish
singing it never, ♪

♪ 'cause here we go again. ♪

♪ This is the song
that goes on forever, ♪

♪ 'cause it doesn't
ever end. ♪

♪ We will finish
singing it never, ♪

♪ 'cause here we go again. ♪

Well, what do you know?
The song does end.

Wow, the boss is
down for the count.

What do we do now?

Anybody want to go
grab a burger?

[all]
Yeah, sounds good.

I kind of feel
like a ham sandwich.

Mom, you saved me.
Thanks.

You're welcome, XJ9.

Now to dispose of this nut

forever.
Wait.

We can't; he's one
of your creations.

Deep down,
he's just sad and lonely.

There must be another way.

Hmm.

Where am I?

Not again.

Nora!

Actually,
it's Lucretia.

Thank you, Nora.

smooch

[fireworks blasting]

[together]
♪ This is the song
that goes on forever, ♪

♪ 'cause it doesn't ever end. ♪

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

[children]
Ooh, look.

Thanks, Jen.

This is ten times better
than some field trip

to the aquarium.

Tuck, you're missing
the dolphins.

I'm getting them
as fast as I can.

[electronic beeping]

Hey, what happened to the power?

Tuck.

Hey, Jenny told you
not to plug into her.

Why should I use
up my only battery?

Because I don't have
enough power to keep us up.

[sputtering]

Tuck, turn that thing
off right now.

But I've almost reached
the silver ring.

[all yelling]

[loud splash]

Are you
guys okay?

I can't feel
my legs.

[rumbling]
But I can feel
somebody's legs.

Where's Jenny?

Who cares?
Every kid for himself.

[gasps]

Phew, for a second there,
I thought my game got wet.

zap!

[slurping]

Gee, Tuck,
thanks for the help.

The salt water corroded
my primary battery.

What about your
auxiliary power?

Won't last long.

And when it's gone,

I'm nothing
but a 600-pound paperweight.

Okay, then,
here's the plan.

Jenny, you stay here
and conserve power.

Sheldon, we'll
look for help

and see if we can
find food or water.

And, Tuck, make yourself
useful for a change.

Build an SOS in the sand
in case a plane comes by.

Don't worry, Jen.
Everything's gonna be okay.

[Sheldon]
Everything is terrible!

I'm sweaty, we're lost, and I'm
allergic to man-eating animals.

[Brad]
And I'm allergic
to starving.

Hey, how about this?

Stop; that's
a Digitalis purpurea.

It's highly poisonous.

Okay.
Ooh.

What a colorful
and tasty-looking chicken.
No.

The Andigena laminirostris is
an endangered species.

Okay, I guess that makes
you lunch, buddy.

No.

What is it?
A beetle.

They just creep me out.

We could eat
fried lizard,

baked lizard,
grilled lizard, lizard soup...

Lizard flambé, stuffed lizard,
free-range lizard...

Deep-fried lizard, lizard
stir fry, and lizard bisque.

Now, if only
we could find a lizard.

We did it.

We made it through.

Oh, no.

We've been
walking in circles.

Tuck, where's
the SOS?

Have you done nothing?

Of course
I've done stuff.

I made this neat
sand castle.

And I made friends
with a hermit crab.

I call him Betsy.

Hey, did you see that?
I saw someone.

In the jungle--come on!

Good luck.

I'll take a papaya,
if you see one.

[animal roars]

On second thought, wait for me.

[yelling]

Get him
off of me!

He att*cked me.

But that's not
the worst part.

I could swear that
the man who att*cked me was

Albert Einstein.

Yeah, and I'm King Kong.

Are you sure?

Hello, science geek.

Yeah, I know Einstein
when I see him.

On a deserted
island?

On top of the fact
that he's dead?

That too.
I know
what I saw.

I'll prove it
to you; come on.

[Brad]
No way; even if he is real,
it's getting too dark.

We got to make camp.
[Jenny]
I don't know, guys;

it may be safer
back at the beach.

Whatever, I'm heading
for the building.

What?
What building?

The building I saw
from the tree.

Why didn't you
say something?

I just did, sheesh.

We made it.

[Jenny]
Not quite.

[growling]

[slurping]

You gonna hog all that
meat for yourself?

[Brad]
Anyone see
a gate?
Who needs a gate?

We've come this far.

We'll just climb it.

zap!

You okay, Jen?

I need power, but not like that.

Wow, burning robot smells
like french fries.

[rumbling]

Only Tuck could
be thinking

about filling his
stomach right now.

That wasn't me.

[grunting]

Early to bed and early
to rise makes a man hungry

for vengeance.

Carpe diem--
seize the humans.

Argh!

Back away, boys.

See ya; wouldn't
want to be ya.

Gotcha!

Whoa.

Jenny.

Hey, bifocals
and bedsheets.

What's so scary about
a guy on an oatmeal box

and a sour salad dressing dude?

Frankly, I prefer ranch.

Jen, quick,
give me your hand.

I could use a little
vine help too.

Sheldon.

It's too late.
Leave him behind.

He would've
wanted it that way.

And Tuck sticks the landing
to take the gold medal.

[growling]

This is crazy.
What's going on here?

I don't know,
but let's keep moving.

Wow.

[happy theme park music]

♪ ♪

Visitors, welcome.

I am Uncle Wizzly.

You mean
the Uncle Wizzly,

creator of Wizzly World?

Yes, the one and only.

[together]
Cool.

What are you doing here?

You are standing at the center
of my next amusement park,

Histrionics World.

Watch in wonderment.

[Uncle Wizzly on TV]
History: monumental,
consequential, and funtastic.

At Histrionics World,

we bring musty
old history to life.

[high-pitched]
Hello, folks.

Using the very latest
in fun-making technology,

I have brought to dazzling life
endearing mechanical replicas

of famous figures
for the world's edutainment

and amusication.
[giggles]

Well, your endearing replicas
ferociously att*cked us.

[laughs]
What an imagination.

Of course there are still
some kinks to be worked out.

But they mean no harm.

My mechanical children just need
love and understanding.

So why
the electrified fence?

Well, every parent has
to set limits.

Uh-oh,
the fence.

You need to shut
them down now.

Now, now, dear girl, I'm sure
there's a lever or a dial

or something that will
make this right as rain.

[growls]

Relatively speaking,
you're doomed.

Now, now, Albert,
tell Uncle Wizzly what's got you

in such a tizzy.

Let them eat
the pound cake.

Every kid
for himself.

You and Sheldon go
after Tuck.

I'll get
Uncle Wizzly.

[growls]

Uncle Wizzly,
get behind me.

Tut, tut.
I told you.

They wouldn't
hurt a--okay.

Come on, we're
all robots here.

Can't we discuss this?

[belches]

[timer ringing]

[together]
Phew.

[timer clicking]
[ringing]

[glass shatters]

Oh, dear, I can see you don't
have your happy faces on today.

But Uncle Wizzly can help.

Who wants cotton candy?

This was supposed to be
the happiest place on--

[screaming]

[screaming]
Sheldon.

Brains are a terrible
thing to waste.

We got to do something.

Have fun.

I may not know physics...

[loud crash]
But I do know a thing
or two about momentum.

[Tuck]
An airplane!

I'm out of here.

[Brad]
Tuck, wait!

In 1492,

I rose to get the likes of you.

You guys head for the plane.
I'll distract them.

Run for it.

But you're out
of power.
Just go.

But--
[Brad]
There's no time

for whatever selfish thing
you're thinking up.

What about Jenny?

Uh, okay.
How hard could this be?

I can figure this out.

thud

[both yelling]

Tuck, you coward.

Get back here and go
down with the rest of us.

[Jenny]
No, not the almanac,


of useless facts.

[Tuck]
Hey, Ben,

your kite's untied.

Huh?

zap!

Tuck, this is
no time for games.

I hope this works.

[screaming]

Now let's get out of here.

Thanks, Tuck.

Good going, Tuck.

You're not the self-absorbed
sociopath I thought you were.

Escaping a desert island,
defeating zombie robots--

what are we gonna do now?

I'm going
to Wizzly World.

Uh, no.

I'm having a hard time
finding my happy place.

[chirping]