01x11 - Birds and Foxes

[bunniefuu]

Uh... can you wait
until I'm fully belted

before pulling into traffic?

No, it takes you too long.

So I should get launched
through the windshield?

I'm not sure the punishment
fits the crime.

[Dispatch] Truck 8.
Report of a crab loose and
aggressive at a residence.

728 Alistair Circle.

Truck 8 responding.

I'm here alone and...

well, it's really
snapping those claws.

[Victoria] It's okay.
We'll get him.

What? Oh... a Kn*fe.

Oh my God!

It's got a Kn*fe.

Yeah. Um...
do you have a bucket?

Yeah.

What? Why?
What are you doing?

How often do you get
to duel a crab?

It's hilarious.

En garde.

Take that! And that!

[Victoria chuckles]

And that!

Oh!

It got me!

[groaning]

Everything's fine,
just stay calm.

You gotta call 911!

Hang on.

[Patel] I can't move my leg!

See how I did that and still
managed to preserve my dignity?

[opening title theme song]

♪

♪

Alright boys.

Good luck with that pow-pow
in Telluride.

[Finnish accent] This weekend
was crunchy, bro.

[Shred] Super crunchy.

So good to hang.

So good.

Ah, I'm gonna miss you guys!

[all laughing]

[Shred] Bye-bye.

I'm gonna miss those guys.

I'm not gonna lie.

I lost a lot of brain cells
listening to that conversation.

[chuckles]

Well, we had this whole crew
when I was still on tour, and...

I just, I miss my boys,
you know?

But Hanky hooked me up
with some hockey tickets.

He's friends with
the Finnish goalie.

It's tonight,
right on the glass.

You wanna go?

Ah, can't.
I've got basketball.

And it's play-offs, baby.
Can you feel it?

Against Sanitation, right?

Yeah.

I hope you get after it.

Oh, we have to.

They blew us out
last year.

And they're one of
the few departments

that we can look down upon.

Them and parking enforcement,
but they suck at basketball,

they call fouls
on themselves.

Wow.

Okay. Uh, Patel's
at Urgent Care

meaning he's out for the day.

So, that would be marking
the very first time a crab

has caught a case of
the persons.

[Shred laughs]

Stupid free rimshot app.

Um... how's the crab?

Uh, yeah.

It had a moment of glory
and then it went down

in a blaze of melted butter.

Okay, heads up everyone!

I've got two free tickets
to the Kraken game tonight,

right on the glass.

First person to say "in"
gets to go with me.

Starting... now.

Unless anyone would like to
draw out this awkwardness,

I say you call the meeting.

There we go.

Here's me and the boys
eating barbecue.

Me and the boys
taking down a pizza.

Ooh! The boys and me going
to town on some gelato.

Wow. Well, I curse
your documentation,

but I am in awe
of your metabolism.

I'm gonna send these
to Camila.

She loves pictures
of me eating, Frank.

[Dispatch] Truck 12.

We have a report of a fox
at Xavier Skate Park

at 3245 Olive Street.

Truck 12 responding.

Do you want a burrito?

I'm not gonna be able
to finish this third one.

God, I can't wait
for you to age.

[knock at door]

Surprise.

Hey!

What are you doing here?

Well, I remember you said
the turf was in rough shape

after that Great Dane
had diarrhea.

So I talked to
the hardware store

and I got 'em
to donate some.

- No!
- Yeah.

You're incredible.
Wait, how?

Never underestimate
a man with one ear.

Oh... okay.

[laughing]

If it's cool with you,
I can go lay it down.

And full installation?
I'm sorry. Yes.

[both laughing]

I mean, what can't you do?

Ask you out.

What?

You asked what I can't do.

I only got the turf so I could
come in here and ask you out.

Oh.

I mean, it's not like I don't
care about the turf.

You know, I made 'em give us
the extra springy kind.

It's, like, crazy springy.

Oh.

If you get a chance,

you should go out there
and take a bounce on it.

Would you like to have
dinner with me tonight?

Rick, I would love to have
dinner with you tonight.

Great.

Do you like French food?

Uh... mais oui.

Oh, wow.
Okay. Perfect.

Okay. Well, I'll see
you tonight.

Perfect.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Alright.

Okay.

[indistinct conversations]

There it is.

Little guy's been there
all morning.

Head's up, he's wily.

We got it.

Can you guys figure this out?
We need to skate.

What happens if you
don't skate?

You bumble into
some productivity?

Is your whole day sh*t

'cause you're getting
things done?

Dude...

Wait. I got an idea.

Sir. I need to respectfully
requisition this buttery deck.

Get after it, man.

No doubt.

Ugh.

Frank... cover me.

[Frank] Go ahead.

Yeah, I've done this
so many times.

[crowd] Whoa!

Come on!

[Frank] Come here.

[Frank] Go, go, go!
There he is.

[Frank] Shred, there he
is right there. Come on.

[Frank] Come here.

Come here.

Shred, get him!
Go, go!

There he is.

sh**t the net!

I'm going to have
a heart att*ck.

sh**t the net!

I'm coming! I'm coming!

[cheers]

Yo! That was epic, man.

[Shred] Sit tight,
little buddy.

You really got the moves.

Thanks, man.

I'm Shred, by the way.

Cool.

Okay.

You okay, Frank?

[out of breath]

[grunts]

Alright. You know there's a set
of stairs right over there.

No, no, no.
I'm good, I'm good, I'm good.

Here.

Dude, do you need
some help?

I did a big, uh...
leg workout this morning

like, drop sets
and all that.

[grunts]

Do not assist me!

You're almost up.

Let... me... go!

Hey Victoria.
You got a sec?

Yeah. What's up?

I'd love to get your female
perspective on something.

Hit me.

Uh... I'm taking Emily
out tonight.

Look at you.

Making all the moves
with your new ear.

I'm actually pretty nervous
about the whole thing.

I haven't dated since...

[both] The mauling.

The mauling,

Yeah.

And I really want it
to go awesome

so I thought I'd just
run something by you.

Mmhmm.

Hey.

Rick's taking you to Canada
for your date.

[chuckles]
What?

What?

Yeah. Okay.

You mentioned a preference
for French food

so he's taking you by rail
to Jean Jacques in Whistler.

He asked me to pack you
a bag and your passport

and not to tell
you anything.

I'm sorry.

Does he think that we're
spending the night together?

No. He's booked
separate rooms.

It's a very pure, unbelievably
romantic gesture by a man

who's not entirely sure how
to spend his settlement money.

Okay. I'm sorry,
that's insane.

Is it?

I mean, I've had guys
take me to Dubai.

I really need to have

a conversation with you
about safety.

I feel like this is, like,
a lot for a first date.

Okay.

Do you wanna go
out with him?

Yeah. Yeah, I think...
I think so, totally.

Doctor Summers is waiting.

Are you bringing
the bird back or not?

Oh yes, I'm sorry.
Here we go.

Oh, so you have a 911
and then lallygag?

Okay. You're quite confrontational.

I've only met you,
like, two times.

Got you.

Just let me know how many
times we have to interact

before I can speak
my mind.

I'm just gonna say it,
I kinda love him.

[whispers] What do
I do about Rick?

Hey Frank, got a second
to talk about the game?

Oh, Templeton.

You know I don't recognize
your authority as coach.

Yeah. Players voted me
as coach.

You bought the uniforms.
You didn't get my vote.

I'm just gonna rip
the band-aid off, Frank.

I'm benching you.

[scoffs] No.

Honestly, I've been debating
this for a while,

then I saw footage of you
at the skate park

and it's like you grew old...
right in front of my eyes.

Look, first of all,
I'm not old.

And second,

I totally wailed on my legs
workout this morning.

Um... my decision is final.

It's a pretend decision
from a pretend coach.

[whistle trills]

I have a whistle.

It's not sad at all,

that you walk around the offices
wearing a whistle.

Yeah, well, game day
so I wear it.

Anyway, Frank, the band-aid
has been ripped.

Do not blame me for what
time has done to you.

I'm gonna go grab some
food 'cause we're out.

Jeez.

Okay.

Oh... okay.
It's a charley horse there.

Ugh.

Does anyone have
any, uh, Ibuprofen?

[hammering]

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Victoria told you
about Canada.

Yeah...

Too big of a swing, huh?

Oh, no.

It's just so international
for a first date.

Of course.
It was so stupid.

[laughs]

A horse-drawn sleigh ride
to a bistro on a glacier lake?

Pfft.

Oh... that's so lovely.

Um... but maybe just,
like, a lot of pressure.

Right.

I was thinking maybe we could

just go someplace
in town tonight.

Oh man. Tonight. Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, for sure.

Uh... no, I can't

because I'm going
to Canada.

It was all non-refundable,
tasting menu et cetera.

O-kay. I feel awful.
I didn't...

Oh, please don't.
Please don't.

I'm just gonna ask
a buddy to go with.

Alright. I'm so sorry.

I... I really wish I was
the type of person

that could just jet off

but I think I would be
in my head and...

Yeah.

You know.

Yeah, yeah. It's all good.
In the neighborhood.

[laughs]

Okay.

Whoa!

[laughs]

Hey. Hey.
What's up, Jack?

Hey.

Um... listen, I don't know
what you're doing tonight

but I've got two tickets to
the Kraken game, on the glass.

Seeing if you wanted to go.

I don't think
that's appropriate.

Oh. Okay.

Sorry. Why isn't it
appropriate?

I don't know you like that.

We've had, like,
two conversations.

Yeah, but what about
the hilarious time

when I brought in
the bulldog?

That felt very much
like office banter

and didn't really tip
into friendship.

Well, we could be friends
if we spend time together.

[sharp inhale]

Yeah, I don't know how
to get that going.

I just invited you
to a hockey game.

It feels forced.

Plus, I got my sister's
birthday tonight.

Why didn't you just
say that first?

Felt like an opportunity
to set boundaries.

Oh, hey.

Um... have a great game
with the...

the balls and the baskets
and stuff.

Templeton benched me.
He said I was too old.

No! What?
That's not fair.

You guys are
the same age.

Why does he get to play
and you don't?

I'm like five years
younger than him.

Oh.

You didn't know that?

No, I think...
I think I did.

That seemed very surprising
to you.

I'm remembering it now.

He's got gray hair
and, like, a liver spot.

Right.

You going for full diabetes?

What?

Oh... no.
I'm distracted.

That's great.

No, I... wait Frank.
Can I ask your advice?

Um... Rick asked me out
on a date.

Okay. Well, these things
tend to sort themselves out.

Yeah. It's just,
it's to Whistler...

and he bought the tickets
and everything already.

Big swing.
What did you say?

Well, I just said you know,

maybe we just go some
place in town instead.

Ooh. Gut punch.

No. Is it?

Yeah, he really put
himself out there.

Yeah. Yeah.

Um... I don't know
what my problem is.

I just... it's a sweet
idea, I just...

You don't know.

I don't... I don't know.

Even I know.

You know what?

Really?
You really don't know?

Really, I don't know.

You really don't know?

I really don't know.

You really don't know?

I really don't know.

Then why don't we both
say the thing

that we don't know out loud
on the count of three.

Okay. Okay, sure.

[in unison]
One, two, three...

- Shred.
- Nothing.

Shred?

There's no way
that you know that.

I not only have a high IQ,
I also have a high EQ.

Which also stands
for equalizer.

Okay, did Victoria
tell you or something?

Look, I am capable
of knowing things.

No, you're not.

Whatever you think
you know, you don't.

Okay, I don't know a lot and
I don't have any great insight

but I do know that Shred
and Camila have been together

for three years and when she
visited they patched things up.

And I also know
that Rick is fantastic

and he wanted to take you
to another country.

So maybe give him a chance.

Yeah. Yeah.
Thanks Frank.

Okay.

[slurping]

It's maybe one
too many sugars.

[cheering]

Push it, push it!
Go! Yes.

[Templeton] Oh my gosh.

You're asleep again.

I shouldn't have had that
second piece of lasagne.

Kryptonite, whoo!

Get him, get him.

This is ridiculous!

McNeil hasn't hit
a sh*t all night.

He's got 20 points.

Yeah, but they're not
the right kind of points.

There's no finesse or flare.
Everyone's bored.

Jack, get ready.
You're going in.

You're serious?
He's going in before me?

He's clutch from the line.
Much, much younger.

He's asleep.

Hey. Jack.
Psst. Jack.

[yelling] Game time!
Yeah! Ha!

There you go, buddy!
He's awake.

Unbelievable.

You know what?
There's one coach. Okay?

And this is the coach.

Where? Yeah, there's
one coach on that side.

[whistle trills]

No, sorry ref.

[Frank] Coaches don't
have whistles.

Sorry ref.

Go, go!

Ow, my ankle!

Yes! Yes.

I mean, look, the pressure
got to him.

Oh, my gosh.

The game's almost over,
muscle through.

It feels like it's broken.

Ah... adrenaline.
How about adrenaline?

Just put me in the game!

Fine. We're gonna lose.

Try and stay positive, coach.
You never know.

I played last week!
I was good.

[Templeton] Let's bring it in.

We gotta have one play.
This is it.

It says "no Frank".

Oh, sorry.
Those are my notes.

Frank, you're down here.

I'm on the other side
of the court?!

You're on defense.

On defense?
During offense?

One, two, three.

[in unison]
Together!

Let's go.

Hey, uh, did you ever
find someone to go

to that hockey game?

You're not a fan,
are you?

Uh... do you wanna see
my Kraken keychain?

Okay, so do you wanna go?

Yes.

Nice! Awesome!

The tricky thing is
that I have plans tonight

with my friend, Joanne.

Oh, well do you think
she'd be cool

with you rescheduling
and everything?

She's just an even bigger
fan than me. So...

So... you want both
of the tickets?

I'll buy them off you.

I mean, uh...

Yeah. How does 40
a piece sound?

Not as good as 20.

Just take 'em.

You okay?

Not really. I've been
in Seattle almost a year

and feel like I still haven't
made any real friends, so...

Do you want me to
call you from the car

and we can talk
this through?

No. Just go.
Go enjoy the game.

Okay.

Hang in there, hmm?

[Frank] Come on.

Come on, right here.

Give me the ball.
Jack, right here.

No.

[Frank] Throw me the ball.
Right here.

Jack! Jack!
Right here, right here.

Shut up, Frank!

Jack, Jack!
Over here.

- [buzzer]
- [cheering]

Whoo! Yeah!

[applause]

Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

I am not in decline.
I'm Peter Pan!

[Templeton] Drink time!

Whoo! Good coaching.
Good coaching.

Ha! Ha!

Come on, let's go.

Come on.

I'll buy the first round.
I'm just gonna get my stuff.

Okay, that's nice of you.
I accept your apology.

[clears throat]

I gotta lock up.

You don't happen to live,
by chance,

near Saint Vincent's
Hospital, do you?

I can't move and I am in a
staggering amount of pain.

[chuckles]
Your back.

Yes. I threw everything
out when I landed.

I was running on endorphins
and assorted energy drinks.

- Let's go.
- Ah!

Sorry.

Just tip me forward,
just tip it there.

Yeah, tip it.

Oh, just like putting
a boat into the water.

There we go.
Oh hey, look at that.

[chuckling]

There you go.

This is a lot better
than I thought. Oh...

Nice job, Rick.

[Announcement] Train 24
to Vancouver, BC

will now be departing
on Platform 7.

Rick, hey!

Hey!

Rick. Hey.

Hey. You change
your mind?

No. No, no, I'm still
not going.

Oh.

Yeah. But, um, I wanted
to come down here

and do the whole, like,

running through
the train station

to catch the guy I like
before he leaves, um, thing.

Okay.

I mean, you took
a big swing.

So, I... I thought
I should do one too.

So I didn't blow it?

No! No, I thought
I blew it.

Oh, no.
Not at all.

[Patel] Are you kidding me?

Do you know how hard
it is to get approved

for a last-minute overnight?

I promised Maya her sister could
stay with us for two weeks!

She's not going.

Oh. Thank God.
Hi Emily.

How are you feeling?

Uh, you know, I'm on
some crazy antibiotics.

I think they're making me
a little bit aggressive.

Okay.

So look, I'll, uh, be
at the platform.

Mmhmm.

Okay.

Tuesday night, pizza at
D'Amore's. Are you in?

Feels a little tame.
So yeah, I'm in.

Alright.

Okay.

Bye.

Okay. We've given you a pretty
strong muscle relaxant

so you can't drive home.

I don't see an
emergency contact.

Who should I call?

Did someone put up
the bat signal for
an emergency contact?

Oh God. I regret everything
I've ever done in my life.

How are you doing?
How are your vitals?

Do you need me to run point
with the medical staff?

Do you need your bed pan?

I just need a ride.

This is all transportation motivated.

Oh, there's transportation happening.

You're on the move
right towards my heart.

Ugh. Look, would
you just shut up

and watch the third
period with me?

Oh. Yeah.

Perfectly good chair
right over there.

Just grab the chair. Okay.

[Shred] What's the score?

Ugh. We're down by one
but we just got a power play.

Hmm.

You know who I wanted to invite
to the game tonight?

Who?

Emily, But I thought
it would be weird.

Yeah?

Yeah.

I think I have
a thing for her.

It's great.

Hmm.

It's great.

This is nice.

Nope.

You're really cool when
you're on muscle relaxers.

When they wear off
I'm gonna kick your ass.

I know.