01x22 - The Tyrannis Crown Affair

[bunniefuu]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

Oh, man, I had one job to do.

No, wait.

I had two jobs to do.

Oh, man.

♪ ♪

Another rich citizen
robbed of their valuables,

and they are riding me
to do something about it.

Good riding or bad riding?

I still don't understand
the concept of being rich.

Yes, are rich people
the ones who have

things or don't have things?

I believe they're the ones who

cannot stop coughing blood.

Those are the sick.

And you have to
be sick to be rich?

- Correct.
- Not correct.

Look, it's very simple.

Out in the wilderness,
people didn't have anything.

But here in the city,
people can have things.

If they have enough things, they

become rich, but not if other
people steal those things.

Because then they get sick.

Sickness has
nothing to do with it.

Mom, can you do something
about the city's thieves?

Of course I can.

- And will you?
- I don't think so.

[phoenix screeches]

[monsters chittering]

♪ ♪

What was that?

It was an invitation
to the monster fight

at Hermes' Monsterdome.

Ugh, those monster
fights are barbaric.

You hate them, too?

Well, I haven't been, but yes.

The Monster Dome used to be
Deliria and Hermes' Pageant

of Monstrous Wonders, but when
I got kicked out of Olympus,

he took over, changed
the pageant to fights,

and changed the name.

Right, so you hate it
for the wrong reasons.

There's no wrong reason
to hate something.

I hate dolphins because
one stole my ex-girlfriend.

So we've just totally
moved on from my problem.

[sneezes]
I'm rich!

You're not.

I mean, you are, but not
because of the sneeze.

Fine, I'll handle it myself.

And history will reward me.

Because if there's one
thing I'm sure about,

it's that society will
always look kindly

on those who defend the rich.

[dramatic lyre music]

♪ ♪

[grunting]

Are these my speech
practice dummies?

How should I know
what you use them for?

Wait, why is this one
wearing a hat like the baker?

Oh, I dress him up like
people who have wronged me.

Those are the kids who
threw pebbles at my head.

You use your free
time pretending

to k*ll your fellow citizens?

It's not free time.
It's training.

Well, get over it.

Today your job is to
protect these people.

Come on.

Is it an invading army?

Right now, the greatest
enemy of Krapopolis

comes from within.

- Bugs?
- Thieves.

We talked about this.
- Oh, the vase thing.

I'm sure that'll
work itself out.

There have been three more
robberies since breakfast.

So what?

People are taking things
from other people?

No one cares who owns what.

Look, mine now.

Oh, man.

I just stole that.

One way or another, you
need to take care of this.

Meet your new fighting force.

This is my old fighting force.

But with new uniforms.

I call them "police."

So who are we k*lling?

No one.

Your job is to stop the
thieves inside the city.

By k*lling them?

Only if absolutely necessary.

Why would it not be necessary?

Can you work this out, please?

No.
I don't even want this job.

I'm supposed to be outside
the castle walls facing

real threats, stabbing invaders
and cutting heads off dragons.

Protecting vases is beneath me.

Then I guess the entire
city will just descend back

into the madness
of the wilderness,

where might makes right,
and only the strong survive.

That works for me.

That was sarcasm.

I don't care.

Fine.

Until Stupendous decides to
step up, you're in charge.

Begin the slaughter.

Changed my mind.
Changed my mind.

No one's in charge,
and the uniform

no longer includes swords.

So we k*ll with our bare hands?

No k*lling.

If you see someone stealing
something, tie them up.

If anyone needs me,
I'll be in the forest.

We need you now.

That's been the whole
point of this conversation.

Oh.
Ah!

Everything OK?

Yes.

Why would everything not be OK?

Why would you even feel
the need to ask me that?

Why are you interrogating me?

You're destroying
your entire room.

It raises questions.

It's called an
aggressive remodel.

Why do rooms have walls?

[zapping]

I didn't say stop.

[both kissing]
- [groans]

Is this remodel by any chance
related to your invitation

to the monster fights?

It's just, why change the name?

Deliria and Hermes' Pageant
of Monstrous Wonders.

That is what it is.

That's what everyone loved.

Did you ask the monsters
if that's what they loved?

I think they loved
the pageant more

than fighting to the death.

And I think it's all bad,
but that's not my point.

[both moaning]

Can they leave now?
- Yes.

You have a child now.

Congratulations.

My point is we both hate
Hermes' Monsterdome.

I hate the brutal destruction
of innocent-feeling monsters

for the pleasure of gods.

You hate...

Monsterdome.

It's a stupid name.

But we both want to
see this thing go down.

I'm listening.

Like you said,
you used to run this place.

The know the layout,
and you know Hermes.

With your help, I think we can
break the monsters out and end

these fights once and for all.

Hm, without monsters, it
would just be Hermes' Dome.

No one would go to that.

And the monsters
would be free to live

out their natural lives.

Oh, I don't care
about that part.

And I don't care if you care,
so I guess we're good.

[whistling]

[screams]

[grunting]
Why?

[club thudding]

Ah!

Thank you.
[grunts]

♪ ♪

I don't think you'll have
any more trouble with thieves.

Stup, do you hear what I hear?

I hear screaming.

- Between the screams.
- Begging?

Silence.

The peaceful silence of citizens

who know their valuables
are safe, which

means they can feel safe
to work in the city,

to buy more valuables and so on.

This palace isn't
as nice as my house.

You can go now.
Thank you.

[screaming]

I still mostly hear
screaming and begging.

Well, what have you done today?

Besides rescuing a little
girl from a three-headed

lion in the forest?

[yelps]

The girl went a little feral.

How do we know those didn't come

from three separate lions?

Any other dumb questions?

Nope. That's it for me.

And I don't care, because
I didn't need you after all.

The police are
working perfectly.

So you've got
a few banana burglars.

You wanted your police to stop
the rich from getting robbed.

And so far, so good.

My gold medallions,
they're gone!

[gasps]
That sounds like a rich person.

Police, come with me.

♪ ♪

When did this happen?

Just now.
He's still in there.

Seal the exits.
Find him.

Feel free to help.

I'll feel free to watch.

Here.

He's right here.

[grunts]
Where'd he go?

There! On the ceiling.

[grunts]

Grab his arms.

That's what he's
using to hit you.

My crown.

I nearly d*ed.

But since I didn't, I'm still
stuck on losing the crown.

No!

No one almost kills
my brother but me.

[panting]

[grunting]

♪ ♪

Ha!

[grunting]

♪ ♪

[screams]

[both grunting]

You're not like the others.

Neither are you.

Ha.

Got him.

So, you know, give up, please.

I'll see you again,
but you won't see me.

And you won't see me.

Damn it.

He already said he'd see me.

He's good.

Do you have any more
of those stupid police togas?

Several.

A bunch of the guys
down there quit.

But I thought this
job was beneath you.

The job is, but this guy isn't.

I mean, literally
he's beneath us.

Like, he's down there somewhere.

No, no, no.
I get it, because he...

Jumped off the...

Yeah, he jumped off the roof.

Now, remember,
the crown is solid gold,

which means it dents easily.

Yeah, I don't care
about the crown.

The crown is the whole point.

If you can steal from the
king, nothing is safe.

The rich want this
thief locked up,

and the police are trying
to make that happen.

Pfft.
The police are useless.

They can't handle this guy.

I'll have you know,
the police have caught

dozens of fruit thieves.

And I'd do it again.

Best mango of my life.

And this master thief
made them look like fools.

Don't you see?

All the big crimes
in the city were him.

One man.

He's a professional,
a worthy adversary.

♪ Someone has a crush ♪

What?
No.

I was fantasizing
about k*lling him.

It's different.
Shut up.

Oh, I'll be back when he's dead.

I don't love your motives,
but I like your goals.

So I allow this.

Why do you think the thief
will strike here next?

Because it's where
I would strike.

But you're not going to, right?

- No.
- Phew.

[chuckles nervously]
I did not want to fight you.

Wait.
What was that?

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

What, you didn't like my gift?

I'm using it, aren't I?

True.

I noticed you threw it
at the barrel instead of me.

I didn't have a clear sh*t.

I don't think a woman such
as yourself needs a clear sh*t.

I don't think me
as well as you think you do.

I think I want to.

I... what are we doing here?

You tell me.

Stupendous!

Go. Leave the city.

If you don't,
I'll have to k*ll you.

I won't even ask for the crown.

You think I care
about the crown?

She's down here.

There you are.

The thief has moved up to
stabbing barrels of wine.

He's getting bolder.

[mystical music]

He changed the sign?

Can we focus?

You said there's
a service tunnel that leads

right to the monster pens?

There was, unless
he's changed a perfectly

good service tunnel, too.

He changed the color.

Let's hope he didn't
change where the tunnel goes.

Just get in there.

And keep him distracted
while I save the monsters.

Only save the ones worth saving.

All monsters are worth saving.

Ugh.

[zapping]

Deliria.

You got my invitation.

I'm here, aren't I?

Here, and testing whether the
enchantment on the sign works.

Good for you.
Come in.

Come in, come in,
come in, come in.

Come in before we
let the monsters out.

I kid.
They're never getting out.

Look at this place.

Yeah.

I made a few changes
since you left.

You mean since I was exiled.

And I was left running this
whole operation by myself.

Mm, running it into the ground.

You changed everything.

What was wrong with
Deliria and Hermes...

Deliria and Hermes'
House of Boring Who Cares?

Gods don't want to admire
monsters on a stage.

They want to watch them fight
to the death in a caged pit.

[cheering]

[roars]

Come to the monster fights.

Have a few laughs.

- [growls]
- Don't worry, gentle beast.

I'm here as a friend
to save you.

Fine. Just go.

[gears crank]

I can do whatever I want.

It's my name on the door.

Only because you
took down my name.

♪ ♪

[grunting]

♪ ♪

Clumsy.

[yelps]

I'm a little disappointed.

So am I.

Hang on.

To plant your trap
here, you would

have had to watch me
plant my trap last night

and then let me leave.

And it was worth it,
to watch you fall into my trap.

Well, it looks like we
have a moment to talk.

I told you to leave the city.

You could just take
the crown and go.

Take it where?
And for what?

I don't know.
To be rich?

Rich.

I don't care about being rich.

Yeah, neither do I.

Of course not.
We're both warriors.

I don't know what you are.

A soldier, like you.

Used to be, anyway, until we
stopped fighting for ideals

and started fighting
for things, property.

Did we ever really
fight for ideals?

Wasn't it mostly
land and resources?

It was for glory.

I think you agree with me.

Maybe.

Or maybe I've been using
this time to get free.

Maybe I've been doing the same.

What do you even want?

To k*ll me?

To cage me?

To serve society?

To b*at you.

What do you want?

For you to come away with me.

What?

Leave the city.

There's nothing for us here.

We can be warriors in
the wilderness, together.

[soft music]

Huh?

[gasps]

We can't talk here.

There's a secret
entrance to the palace,

behind the statue of Athena.

The tunnel will take you to me.

The only place I
want to be taken.

- Little drop.
- [grunts]

[citizens gasping]
- [drily] Oh, no.

He got away.

[panting]

Last one.

Be free, Porcupotamus.
- [growls]

Yeah, you're welcome.

♪ ♪

That was harder than
I thought it would... oh!

[grunts]
- Whoa.

This one can shapeshift.

I'm not one of the monsters.

And speak.

You're still proceeding
from the wrong assumption.

I'm in this cage
because I fell into it.

And confuse me.

And this. A bench?

What was wrong
with the cushioned seats?

Gods like the bench.
It's more casual.

You know what, Deliria?

This is why I had to
change everything.

Because when we
were partners, you

wouldn't take any suggestion
that wasn't your own.

Because your
suggestions were stupid.

Then you don't have
to look at any of them.

You're banned.

Why haven't we started
the next monster fight?

[whispers indistinctly]

Huh.
Fine.

Very fine.

Ladies and gentlemen,
we've had a mishap

in our monster holding pens.

But not to worry.

The winner of our last fight
is ready for round two,

as is our challenger.

[screaming]

[crowd cheering]

[dramatic music]

Would you believe that
I'm here to help you?

[roars]

♪ ♪

[whimpering]

[soft music]

Oh.

- Armor problems?
- No.

I mean yeah.

I've been working my delts,
so the shoulder plates don't

fit the way they used to.

And you want to look
your best for the thief.

You're curiously
sexual rooftop rumble

is the talk of the market.

Oh, my God,
that's not what this is.

I mean, I don't
know what this is.

I don't know what I'm doing.

You're following
your heart, and there's

nothing braver,
aside from fighting

the dreaded chimera of Corfu.

But that doesn't tell
me what to do next.

When the time comes,
I think you'll know.

And whatever it is,
I'll support you.

Unless you want help fighting
the dreaded chimera of Corfu.

Thanks, Dad.

You should go
before he gets here.

The dreaded chimera of Corfu?

He's here.
Grab him.

Wah!

You see?

He's just a man.

An extremely handsome man.

Thank you.

Stupendous, I have
good news and great news.

My so-called useless
police caught

the so-called master thief.

So now he goes to prison?

That was my original plan.

But the city's rich.

Believe we need a more
permanent solution.

What if we use
that on the thief?

[dramatic music]

And this isn't horrible,
though, right?

I mean, obviously it isn't.

It's not like it means we're
no better than the thief

or anything crazy like that.

But we are better
than the thief.

That's why the thief has to die.

And anyone could see that.

To doubt it would be
frankly offensive.

There's nothing barbaric or
disproportionate or morally

unforgivable about...

Look, we've got a lot of stuff,

and if you're not going
to protect that stuff,

I can take that stuff
to a city that will.

Say, Troy.

No, no.

Of course we'll
cut off his head.

I was being silly.

And there's no
way in which doing

this makes us inhuman
villains, deserving ourselves

of justice.

You got caught?

Using the entrance
you told me about.

[shouting]
And that's why your head

is coming right off your body.

[whispering] The entrance
I told you about doesn't

go past the throne room.

But the police were everywhere,

and I had to make a detour.

And that happened to be
through the room in the palace

with all the expensive stuff?

[shouting]
Then we're going to put

your head back into the
guillotine and slice that up.

You played me.

Two things can be
true at once, you know?

I can want to run away with you,

and I can also see
the perfect time

to strike a blow
against corruption

by disrupting the unfettered
accumulation of wealth.

Were you always so full
of wordy values crap,

or are you leaning in now
that you're desperate?

[shouting] And once we
got all the head slices,

we're going to put
them in a sandwich,

and we're going to feed
that sandwich to the...

Wait, to the what?

I want to know who's
eating my head slices.

But we're out of time.

So I'll strip out all
the wordy values crap

and make it simple.

Help me or watch me die.

I trust you.

You don't have a choice,
and my choices suck.

We haven't met.

I'm Stupendous' father.

- Nice to meet you, sir.
- Sir?

Clever with his hands,
and he's polite.

Quite the catch.

He's also a wanted criminal
about to be ex*cuted.

And I poop standing up.

We all have something.

The rich are saying they're
ready for the real thing.

Hmm.

[screaming]

What in Hades is this?

A monster fight
with the only monsters

I have left, since
someone freed the others.

I have been with
you the whole time.

Obviously, I'm
talking about your son.

Why do you always treat
me like I'm stupid?

Because you are stupid.

And you're mean.

Ow!
Crowd: Ooh!

[gasps]

[grunts]

[crowd exclaiming]

[grunts]
[crowd exclaiming]

[grunts]

I'm telling you,
you don't have to do this!

I'm trying to help you.

This is for smashing my tiara.

And this is for
telling everyone I

peed my toga at your birthday.

Stay back!

I'm warning you.

I'm on your side, but I will
k*ll you if it's me or you.

I'm giving you a
choice here and laying

out the consequences.

[growls]

All right, so maybe not all
monsters are worth saving.

You could do that
the whole time?

Ha-ha!

[grunts] Ow!

Ow!

[laughs]

[grunts]

Well, you know something,

I think I understand the fights.

I feel much better.

And 19 out of 20
monsters isn't bad.

I want to fight Apollo.

I want to fight Helios.

[grunts]

It takes so long
for these to grow back!

Deliria!

Good news.

I've negotiated with
the rich, and they've

agreed to cut your head
off with the sharp blade

instead of the dull one.

OK, maybe not good news, but...

What the...

Dad, did you see
what happened here?

Yes.

Find him.

Any idea where he went?

I have the same
information you do.

Then you must also
feel set up to fail.

[sighs]

♪ ♪

[grunts]

What are you doing?

I'm staying.
You're leaving.

But why?
You don't belong in this world.

You're like me.

I don't know what you are,
but I do know that there's

not enough time to figure
it out before people

come to k*ll you.

And if you don't leave,
my brother won't trust me,

and the rich people
won't trust him.

So I have to trust you to
go and never come back.

Maybe one day we'll
find each other again.

Maybe one day this new
society of wealth and property

will result in a city the size
of the world, and half of us

will be in cages.

Sure. Maybe that, too.

I don't even know your name.

Ha-ha! I know.

Aw, he stole my shoulder plate.

Mm.

I have an announcement.

I have decided not
to execute the thief

because I have invented
something far worse and more

punitive than execution.

I call it extradition.

How does it work?

It's very simple.

Instead of k*lling the thief,
which many are saying

is precisely what he wants, and
therefore, ironically enough,

too merciful, we remove
him from the city,

his precious, precious
home, and send

him far away, to
another city, where

he can never be seen again.

- What city?
- Even I don't know.

- Will he be k*lled there?
- Possibly.

Wait, is Krapopolis his home?

It seemed like he was
from somewhere else.

All righty, then.
Looks like we're done here.

Thank you so much.

What do you think
happened to all

those monsters you set free?

I don't know,
but I know they found peace.

[people screaming]

[monsters screeching]

[dramatic music]

Did you get any of that?

Bento.