02x09 - Freaky Fri-Day-Day

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music]

Lay Lay, it's called homework
because you're supposed to do it at home.

Well, I've got better things
to do at home.

What is wrong with these teachers?

We're underpaid,
and we take it out on our students.

See you in sixth period.
We're having a pop quiz.

Whoa. Nice boots, partner.

Cobo, what is up with your shoes?

Oh, are you going to milk a cow?

Nope.

I'm going to the Two Step Saloon tonight.

It's a country music themed
restaurant and dance hall

where my family and I go
country line dancing.

Oh, so y'all basically
just do the Electric Slide

to sad, twangy guitar music.

No.

Everyone does a set
of choreographed moves together

that repeat throughout a country song.

You basically just described
the Electric Slide.

To sad, twangy guitar music.

Fair enough, but it actually
looks more like this.

Nice.

Nice?

No, you look like an old person

trying to play hopscotch.

Wait, how have you never
heard of country line dancing?

Aren't you from Houston?
They love it there.

They also love the rodeo,

but you won't catch me riding no bull.

Well, the Two Step is actually having
their annual competition tonight.

It's called the Hoedown Showdown.

The winner gets a pair of golden boots.

Oh, sounds like
a knee-slappin', toe-tappin',

rootin', tootin' good time.

You're welcome to join.
The contest is open to everybody.

There's no way you'd win over me,
but I'd love to see you there, partner.

You know, I wouldn't mind
going to the Two Step,

just to check it out.

Please, I am the queen of cool,

the duchess of dope.

I know what's cool,

and country line dancing ain't it.

I disagree.

Some of the coolest people in the world
go country line dancing.

Did I hear someone say
country line dancing?

Oh, my favorite!

I'm going to the Two Step Saloon tonight.

Yeehaw!

Giddyap.

[chuckles]

You were saying?

♪ I'm Sadie's affirmation app ♪

♪ And so no matter what happens,
I got her back ♪

♪ 'Cause see,
my homey Sadie wished on a star ♪

♪ She said, "I wish you were real,"
now I'm as real as you are ♪

-♪ And now, who's coming out the app? ♪
-♪ That Girl Lay Lay ♪

-♪ Whose avatar power is to freeze? ♪
-♪ That Girl Lay Lay ♪

♪ All day, all day, it's your girl ♪

♪ That girl, that girl, that girl ♪

♪ That Girl Lay Lay ♪

Mother, father, I have amazing news.

I have officially outgrown these sneakers.

Hmm.

Yeah, Marky, these are way too small.

You should be wearing a size .

A ? That's...

The same size as you, Dad!

Oh, no.

Hm. Ah, it fits.

I feel like Cinderella
in high-heeled sneakers.

What is going on?

Remember when I was a toddler,
and I would stick my feet in Dad's shoes

and try to walk around in them?

I remember. It was adorable.

[scoffs] It was a'ight.

He promised that when we were
the same shoe size,

he'd let me wear his shoes.

You were four.
You weren't supposed to remember that.

I was lying.

Bryce, a promise is a promise,

and you have to keep it.

I don't wanna.

Bryson Arthur Alexander,
get the boy some of your shoes.

-Fine.
-Yes!

[sighs] I guess the day has finally come.

Yes, it has.

Shoe me!

Hey. [laughs]
Ain't nothing for you upstairs, son.

But you said...

I don't keep my good shoes upstairs.

Son, I'm about to change your life.

Big Daddy Bryce is taking you

to the Shoe Hole.

You know that's just a closet, right?

[chuckles] That's what your mama thinks.

[device beeping]

[motor whirring]

Sweet James Brown!

[chuckles] Sweet James Brown wishes
he had what I'm about to show you.

Shoe Hole, activate.

[angelic choral music]

It's like Narnia,

but full of shoes!

♪ Welcome to the Shoe Hole ♪

What was that?

The Shoe Hole theme song, son.

No one else has ever heard it except me.

[upbeat music]

Oh, hey, Lay Lay.

What sort of fun stuff
are you up to tonight?

Oh, I've got big plans.

First, I'm gonna do Sadie's nails.
And then we're gonna watch a movie.

-And then we're gonna go...
-Howdy, partners.

Looking good, Lil Sadie X.

Sadie, why do you look like
you about to go sit on a hay bale?

I've decided I'm going
to the Two Step Saloon

for country line dancing.

Ooh, check out my arm fringe
when I do this.

[Trish laughs]

Hold up, "Old Town Road."

I thought we had plans.

First off, this is "Achy Breaky Heart."

Second of all, I want to learn
how to line dance.

Uh-oh.

It's all good, Mrs. A.

Sadie will realize I'm right
and eventually change her mind.

If anyone needs to change their mind,
Lay Lay, it's you.

Try something new for once.

[doorbell rings]

That's my ride.

Is it a cow or a donkey?

Howdy, y'all.

Definitely donkey.

Cobo, hey.

I'm hitching a ride to the Two Step
with Cobo and his family.

Lay Lay, are you sure
you don't want to join us?

Mm, let me think about it...

no.

Have fun, y'all.

Giddyap.

Hey. [laughs]

I can't believe she actually left.

Sadie thinks she's gonna have fun?

Bacon and I are gonna make that hoedown
look like a slowdown.

Bars!

Yeah, I "bars" myself.

Somebody's tryin' and denyin',

but it ain't flyin'.

Bars!

That's right, I can "bars" myself too.

Just you and me playing Go Fish, Bacon.

You got any threes?

[Bacon oinking]

No offense, but you're not nearly as fun
to hang with as Sadie.

I can't believe she actually left
to go line dancing with Cobo.

Meanwhile, I'm sitting here
playing cards with a pig...

and losing!

[country music playing]

♪ ♪

Ooh, this place is so cool.

Hey, hand me that lasso, Cobo.

Let me show you how it's done.

You know how to use a lasso?

How hard can it be? [scoffs]

[muttering] Know how to lasso.

Ready?

Here we go.

Hey, see?

Hey, hey...oh.

Harder than I thought.

Get a move on, little doggies,

and sign up for tonight's
Hoedown Showdown,

where the winner will
take home the golden boots!

Yeehaw!

[all cheering]

Mr. Patcher,
what are you doing working here?

Oh, I hate to be the one
to break it to you, Alexander,

but the American economy doesn't think
that public school teachers deserve

a "living wage."

I work here so that once a week,

I can eat something
other than Hot Pockets.

Also to pay off this jacket.

Note to self,

don't ask Mr. Patcher questions.

OK, Sadie, this dance is called
the Country Cha-Cha.

One, two, cha, cha, cha.

-Three, four, cha, cha, cha.
-OK.

-One, two...there you go.
-Cool.

Hey, what's this one called?

I'm pretty sure that's now the Sadie.

There you go. Hey, hey.

[record scratches]

This town ain't big enough
for the two of us.

Oh, who am I kidding? Yes, it is!

[laughs] Let's cowboy boogie!

Whoo! Yeehaw!

Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!

Come on, kids, let's go.

Whoo!

[upbeat music]

Dad, this is amazing.

I take back everything negative
I've ever said about you.

Excuse me?

Which is easy, because I've never said
anything negative about you.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Now we wear some shoes, son.

♪ Don't sweat the technique ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Don't sweat the technique ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Don't sweat the technique ♪

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

Come back. I'm not done.

Room for one more on the fun train?

Bring that caboose on down.

So this is your wild night,

painting Bacon's nails.

Uh, he needed it.

It was a desperate situation.

I see.

Know anyone else whose evening
might fit that description?

[gasps] Are you talking about Sadie?

'Cause I tried to save her
from going to that place.

Mm, OK, but...

and I hope you'll both forgive me
for saying this...

you're the one down here
hanging out with a pig.

That isn't my fault, Mrs. A.

I had a great night planned
for Sadie and me.

She's the one who bailed.

Well, I seem to remember
her inviting you to come along.

Me, to country line dancing?

What would that look like?

Like someone having an open mind

and trying something new for a friend.

Even though I think it's gonna be janky?

[laughs softly]

Lay Lay, I remember when I was your age,

I had a friend named Lisa
who always begged me

to go ice skating with her.

But roller skating was my thing.

They called me Trish
"Roll Bounce" Alexander.

[both laugh]

I didn't want to go ice skating.
You can't roll bounce on ice.

See, Mrs. A, you get my point.

Except, Lay Lay, I went.

And you enjoyed ice skating?

Of course not. It was awful.

But hanging out with Lisa
was a lot of fun.

And seeing how happy it made her

made it all worth it.

[sighs] I get it.

I'll give it a try for Sadie.
But it's still gonna be janky.

[laughs] That's the spirit,

kind of.

Dang it, what am I gonna
wear to line dancing?

Who am I kidding?
I have a outfit for every occasion.

[upbeat music]

Wow.

I get to wear all of these?

[laughs] Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Slow down, rookie.

You can pick one pair.

I'll take these.

[Bryce sucks teeth]

The limited edition Orbison Alabasters?

[chuckles] No, no, no.
You're not ready for that.

Not ready?

I've been waiting my entire life for this.

Marky, the white shoe isn't
just a white shoe.

It's a lifestyle.

Do you know how to walk in a white shoe?
No, you don't. Because you don't walk.

You float.

Dad, relax. It's just a shoe.

[gasps]

Disrespectful!

Son, there are things you can
and can't do in a white shoe.

You don't run.

You don't trot. You don't jog.

And you never, ever eat anything

when you're wearing a white shoe.

OK, Dad, I get it.

But a deal's a deal.

Release the Orbisons.

[chuckles]

OK.

But remember, with great shoes
comes great responsibility.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, OK.

I mean it.

You have to promise me no matter what,

you'll take care of those shoes.

I promise.

OK.

Oh, last thing...

the special walk
to keep the shoes crease-free,

like this.

This is fun.

I feel like a super fly flamingo.

[upbeat music]

That's right, folks,
it's time to kick off the sawdust

and sign up.

Registration closes soon.

[laughs]

Thank goodness.

As an educator,
it's my job to teach you kids.

And tonight,
I'm gonna teach you how to lose.

Good luck out there.

Sign me up for that class.

[clears throat] Yes, uh, looks like

we've got all the contestants
we are gonna get.

Hold up, cow-people.

There's a new sheriff in town,

and her name is That Girl Lay Lay.

Wow, Lay Lay, look who dug out
her Houston clothes.

Well, yeah, I wasn't
too sure on what to wear,

so I imagined what
Viola Davis would look like

if she guest-starred on Yellowstone.

Lay Lay, what are you doing here?

Besides looking fabulous,

I've decided to have an open mind
and do this line dancing stuff

because you're my friend.

So this is, like, a favor?

Mm, yeah.

You're welcome.

So are we doing this?

No. No, we're not.

-Excuse me?
-Uh, she said no.

Oh, I'm sorry.
See, I thought you didn't hear her.

That's...that's my bad.

Your mind isn't open, Lay Lay.

You still think this is dumb.

Yeah, so?

So I think you're afraid
you might not be good at this.

[scoffs] Whoa, pump your brakes.

-Who says I'm not good at this?
-I did.

I'm probably great at line dance...
you know what?

Patcher, sign me up for that contest.
Y'all are going down.

Actually, you're supposed
to say, "Yeehaw!"

Oh.

Yee...nah.

Let's get everybody
out on the dance floor.

The Hoedown Showdown is about to go down,

which means our contestants
are about to throw down.

It's time to dance till you drop!

[all cheering]

[gulping]

Cow power!

Let's do this.

The last person dancing
at the end of the night

is the winner of the Hoedown Showdown
and the coveted pair of golden boots.

[all cheering]

I hope they come in a wide

because my feet swell
when I'm flush with victory.

I hope those boots come in size pig,

because when I win,
I'm giving them to Bacon.

Not if I win first.

You won't win first until I do.

That doesn't make any sense.

You don't make any sense.

OK, I'm gonna go dance over there.

You know, let you guys
sort this out for yourselves.

♪ Go, Cobo, dance away now ♪

♪ Go, Cobo, dance away now ♪

Here we go, folks, it's giddyap time.

Let the Hoedown Showdown begin!

[country music playing]

♪ But I know that ♪

♪ In four weeks' time, I'll be on my way ♪

♪ Headed on the road for another day ♪

♪ You can miss me now or miss me then ♪

♪ But I'm still going
on the road again... ♪

-What you gonna do?
-What are you gonna do?

♪ You can miss me now or miss me then ♪

♪ But I'm still going on the road again ♪

♪ ♪

My little boy is a man,

or at least a little boy
with some big ol' feet.

And I need this sundae
to help fuel my growing body.

[chuckles]

Yum.

[dramatic musical sting]

[both] No!

It's got cherry on it, and fudge!

Those are, like, the worst stains ever!

Let me try to clean it.

No! That's spit, Mom.

Spit's not clean.

Marky, there's no better detergent
than a determined mama's spit.

No. You're just gonna make it worse.

I told your father you weren't old enough
to borrow his shoes.

What?

That is not what you said.

It's what I'm saying now.

You're on your own, boy!

[country music playing]

♪ I'll see you when I see you,
yeah, I wouldn't wanna be you ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm trucking down the highway
like a fire-breathing cheetah ♪

♪ Two hundred miles to go,
we're dancing with the sun ♪

♪ While you're sittin' back at home now
twiddling them thumbs ♪

♪ ♪

And dip your partner, do-si-do, and...

oh, who am I kidding,
I don't know any of this stuff.

I listen to Katy Perry.

But we're an hour
into our Hoedown Showdown,

and people are dropping like flies.

I hope the competition ends soon,

because the convenience store
where I buy my dinner

closes at : .

You honestly think this is cool?

Maybe not the way you do it.

Oh. Oh?

Oh, oh.

-Oh!
-OK, OK, I'm out.

You girls are way too intense.

[both] We are not!

♪ Said I'll see you when I see you,
yeah, I wouldn't wanna be you ♪

-♪ Twiddle them thumbs ♪
-♪ Trucking down the highway ♪

♪ Like a fire-breathing cheetah ♪

All right, Orbisons,
I'm gonna put you back

and come up with a plan to replace you
before Dad notices.

[Bryce] Oh, he already noticed.

Shoe hole, activate.

Dad, what are you doing here?

Mm, waiting for you to disappoint me.

-You ruined the shoes, didn't you?
-I did.

I'm so sorry, Dad.

I wasn't ready.

I'm not a man.

I'm just a little boy.

I bet my shoe size is only a / .

It's OK, son.

It's not OK.

I ruined your most prized possession.

Uh, wrong.

These are my most prized possession.

Then what are these?

Those are an exact replica I had made

because I knew this day was coming.

You had me walking around in fake shoes?

Disrespectful!

Also, you're brilliant.

Thank you, son.

So can I have the real ones now?

[laughs] You sure can,

after you complete
my six-week training program

on basic care and upkeep
of high-end sneakers.

Shoe bench, engage.

[motor whirring]

This place keeps getting better.

[upbeat music]

♪ Shake it for the birds,
shake it for the bees ♪

♪ Shake it for the catfish swimming down
deep in the creek... ♪

Get along, little doggie.

Don't let the swinging door hit you
in the rump roast on your way out.

We are down to our last few contestants,

and someone is one step closer
to winning the golden boots.

Oh, and that will be me.

I know you're trying to look silly,
but that was actually a pretty cool move.

I can't help myself.

Hey, that was actually pretty cool too.

Hey, you remember this?

Sure do.

♪ ♪

OK, maybe this is a little fun.

See? I told you.

Yeah, maybe I was a little close-minded

about line dancing.

Well, I'm glad you tried.

It's like you always tell me:
you have to step out of your comfort zone

every once in a while
and just be open to new things.

I say that?

Man, I give good advice.

You do.

Listen, I'm sorry, Sadie.

I'm sorry too.

Hugging isn't dancing, girls.

I hope your little moment was worth it.

You're out!

It looks like we have our winner.

And the golden boots
go to Zelda Willingham!

-[all cheering]
-Yeehaw!

Whoo! I showed down and hoed down.

Now, take me to them boots.

Well, she clearly wanted to win
way more than the rest of us.

Uh-huh.

Lay Lay, you had enough?

Are you kidding?

I'm not done line dancing yet.

Come on, y'all.

Hey, you got to say the magic word.

Please, thank you,

and yeehaw!

♪ I'll see you when I see you,
yeah, I wouldn't wanna be you ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm trucking down the highway
like a fire-breathing cheetah ♪

♪ Two hundred miles to go,
we're dancing with the sun ♪

♪ While you're sitting back at home now
twiddling them thumbs ♪

♪ Said I'll see you when I see you,
yeah, I wouldn't wanna be you ♪

[upbeat music]

My nail style is colorful, blingy,

and extra and very detailed.

This one is a doll,
and it matches my hair.

And then this one says L-A-Y,
which is my name, Lay Lay.

I just feel like I can let my creativity
roam free on my nails.

With every outfit that I have,
I try to match my nails

and just add different bling
and different decals.

My nails definitely complete my style.

And that's life with That Girl Lay Lay.