06x02 - We Want Our Mummy

[bunniefuu]

[♪]

Dr. Powell, Dr. Powell. Yes?

Bad news, the police
aren't able to find

any trace of Professor Tuttle.

His disappearance has them
completely baffled.

That ruins our hopes

of ever finding the tomb
of King Rootin-Tootin.

Professor Tuttle
is the only man alive

who knows its exact location.

Mm-hmm. First, Professor Dalton
dies mysteriously

and then Tuttle disappears.

Something terrible
happens to anyone

who tries to explore that tomb.

I'm telling you, it is
the curse of Rootin-Tootin.

But unless we secure the mummy
of King Rootin-Tootin,

our entire collection
is worthless.

We must find Tuttle.

Well, I'm doing the best I can.

I sent for the three best
investigators in the city.

And they're our last hope.

[KNOCKING RHYTHMICALLY]

DR. POWELL: Come in.

[IN UNISON]:
At your service night and day.

If we don't get 'em,
you don't pay.

Excelsior!

To the hunt.

Where's Professor Tuttle?

He's been kidnapped.
That's why we sent for you.

Kidnapped, eh?
What's the old bird look like?

Here is a picture
of Professor Tuttle.

Hmm... Hmm...

[RHYTHMICALLY HUMMING]

Hm-hm. Hm-hm.

Gentlemen, you must find him.

I got an idea. What is it?

We'll start in the basement.

To the basement!
To the basement!

To the basement.

[IN UNISON] To the basement.

[ALL YELLING]

[TUMBLING]

This must be the basement.

Excuse us for butting in,
but we're looking for

a kidnapped professor,
we're detectives.

Oh, detectives, eh?

And you're looking for
a kidnapped professor?

Well, well.

Look, fellas, I've gotta
carry this out.

Will you give me a hand?

Sure, you might do us
a favor someday.

I'll take that end.
I'll take this end.

I'll take the end in the middle.

I'll open the door.

Up she goes, boys.

Oh, boy. Take it easy.

Up she goes. Have you got it?

Take it easy, now.
Okay, are you all right?

Easy, easy.

[YELLS]

You take it easy, or
I won't let you carry it at all.

[GRUNTS]

MOE: Easy, now.

Halt. Have you seen
Professor Tuttle?

Certainly not.

Have you? No.

Have you? No.

That means we'll never find
the missing king.

How'd you know
the king was missing?

I--

Oh, so you're the one, eh?

That's how you won my cents.

[GRUNTS]

Gentlemen, gentlemen.

Who came in?

You don't understand,

the missing king
is Rootin-Tootin III, of Egypt.

Missing persons
are right up our alley.

When was he last seen?

About , years,
come Michaelmas day.

Huh, a mere bagatelle.

Give us , years
and we'll bring him back alive.

Come any day.

I'm afraid we'll have to
accept their offer.

Nobody in his right mind
would undertake that expedition.

It's almost certain death.

Let's hire them
before they find out

about the curse
of King Rootin-Tootin.

Done. And if the curse
does strike them,

it will be
a blessing to humanity.

Gentlemen, you're hired.

We're sending you to bring back
the mummy of King Rootin-Tootin.

You leave immediately for Cairo.

Say, I got an uncle in Cairo.

He's a chiropractor.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck...

[YELLS]

And if you are successful,
we will pay you $ , .

The recovery of the mummy

will prove of untold value
to science.

For science. For science.

For , bucks.
Viva la science.

Whoo-whoo-whoo...

LARRY: Viva la
science, viva la science.

[BARKS]

Taxi. Taxi, taxi!

Taxi.

Where to? Egypt.

Right.

Huh?

MOE: Hey, driver, stop here.

LARRY: Hey, hold it, will you?

MOE: Hold on, here, a
minute, now. Let's get off here.

LARRY:
Yeah, we might be here now.

MOE: Weigh the anchor.

Forty pounds.

Out we go.

MAN [OVER RADIO]:
You have been listening to

Ali Ben Woodmen
and his Swinging Bedouins.

Do you need money?

Borrow on your camel
or elephant.

No red tape. No cosigners.

Everywhere we go,
commercial announcements.

Shut that thing off.
Where's the map?

[RADIO TURNED OFF]

I must've lost it.

Now we'll have to travel
by compass.

I wonder, are we near the place.

[SOUTHERN] Being there's
no other place around the place,

I reckon this must be
the place, I reckon.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck. [YELLS]

If we don't come to
a filling station pretty soon,

I'm gonna die of thirst.

Me too, my throat feels like
a bale of hay.

Hey, hey.

[YELLS]

I think I'll recon.

Think I'll get my hat.

MOE: We're coming to a jungle.

I can see
the tangled underbrush.

And camels walking through it.
No, no. They're octopus.

I can't see anything.

You will.

[GROANS]

Look, a signpost.

Come on.

CURLY: Whoo-whoo-whoo.

Oh, boy, we're nearly in Cairo.

The tomb ought to be
around here someplace.

I'd rather go to Tunis.

Then we can have
tuna sandwiches for lunch.

[YELLS]

Look, water!

CURLY: Real, pure, salty water.

It's the ocean.

Ocean, nothing.
That's a mirrorage.

Mirrorage is something
you see yourself in.

That's a mirage.

Mirage?

That's where you keep
your automobile.

I said, a mirage.

Mirage, miridge, whatever it is,
I'm going swimming.

Nyuck, nyuck.

[SQUEAKS]

[SHIVERS]

[YELLS]

[YELLS]

Gee, the water's cold.

[YELLS]

[YELLS]

Come on in!

[LAUGHING]

Hey, fellas...

Hey, fellas, come on in.

Gee, the water's just wonderful.

Water?

Maybe he's got something here.
You think I'm crazy?

Come on, try it.
The last one in is an old maid.

Come on.

MOE: Ready, set, go.

[IN UNISON] Whoa!

[THUD]

MOE: I wonder where we are.

Maybe we're in the subway.

MAN: This is the tomb of
the mighty king Rootin-Tootin.

How do you know?

I didn't say anything.

Neither did I.

MAN: Infidels, prepare to die.

The joint's calling.

Now, wait a minute, fellas.
Get me out of here.

Listen, fellas, wait.
Let me out.

Listen, I gotta get out.

Now, we'll look around
the joint.

Take a grip on yourself.

Turn me loose.

I wanna be free.

Now, come on,
we'll look around there.

[ALL YELL]

I wonder where that Kn*fe
came from?

[ALL YELL]

[BARKS]

CURLY: Whoo-whoo-whoo.

[YELLS]

Hey, it's us!

Come on. Wait up!

After all that running,
we're back in the same place.

All right, wise guy,
you lead the way.

But listen, I-- Go on.

I'll go when I'm ready.

Are you ready?

Follow me.

Gee, it's spooky in here.

I'm glad you guys are behind me.

There should be a door here.

[YELLS]

[GROWLING]

[METAL SCRAPING]

Get the keys.

Hey, Moe. Hey, Larry.
Where are you?

[ECHOING] Where are you?

Hmm, an echo.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

I'm here, where are you?

[ECHOING]
I'm here, where are you?

I asked you first.
Where are you?

MAN: None of your business.

[WHIMPERS]

Spooks! Spooks.

Moe, Larry.

[WHIMPERING]

Moe, Larry!

Oh...

Pardon me, can you tell me
how I can get out of here?

[GROANS]

Oh, excuse me. I didn't know
you were a lady mummy.

Hm, looks like Rootin-Tootin.

[SQUEALS]

Oh, boy, it's
Rootin-Tootin, all right.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

Oh, nails, huh?

Oh...

This ought to do it.

I found it. I found it.

King, old boy,
you're going on a trip.

That's what you think.

Well, them's my orders,
and when I get--

[MUMBLING]

[STAMMERING]

[BOTH YELL]

Whoo-whoo-whoo.

[WHIMPERING]

Whoa!

[BOTH GRUNT]

Who did that?

Gee, fellas,
I thought you were mummies.

Oh, you did, eh?

[YELLS] [YELLS]

Come on down off of this.

Take it easy, take it easy.

Hey, fellas, listen.

Did you ever hear
a mummy talking?

Well, I did.

Now he's talking to mummies.

Don't you believe me?
He's right over there.

Come on.

Talking to a mummy, what
does he think I am, an imbecile?

[YELLS]

Hey.

[SCREAMS]

Whoa!

What's the idea of pushing?

You pulled me through.

What happened?

Hey, look.
There's Rootin-Tootin.

[WHINES]

The place is full of
Rootin-Tootins.

Hey, he's the real McCoy.

McCoy? I thought
his name was Rootin-Tootin.

Hey, fellas, I found it,
I found it.

You found what?

A tisket, a tasket,
that green and yellow basket.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

[YELLS]

Whoa!

[SPLASH]

Hey, throw me a rope.

Ow!

Get him up,
get him up out of there.

Come on. Come on.

[MOE GRUNTS]

What a guy. What a guy.

Hey, what's the idea
of going swimming again?

Whoo-whoo-whoo!

Come on, we can't stay
in this tomb all day,

we gotta get
the king out of here, come on.

Hmm, that well is dangerous.

Grab a hold of that mummy,
and be careful.

It's worth $ , .

You and I will try to find
that door.

Hmm, $ , .

Come on, Rootin-Tootin-Tootin,
old kid, you're going places.

Whoever crowned you king?

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck...

Whoa!

[CRASH]

Hmm...

Hey, Rootin-Tootin,
where are you?

Hmm...

What's the matter?

What happened?

He blew up. He's all unraveled.

I'll unravel you.

[YELLS]

Now we lose--

MAN: Wait, wait, help.

Wait, help, help...

Tuttle, you've been leading me
through this tomb for hours,

to give those pals of yours
a chance to get the money.

Well, you better start to talk
before I count three.

Where is that money?

One, two...

Wait, wait. It's in there.

I don't know where the door is.

All right, tear down the wall.

And you be better be
telling the truth.

Because if that mummy
isn't in there, intact,

it'll be the finish for you
and those three goofs. Get it?

If they find out we k*lled
the mummy, they'll k*ll us.

What'll we do?

I got an idea.
We'll make a mummy out of you.

I can't be a mummy, I'm a daddy.

All right, so you'll be
a daddy mummy.

Oh, that's different.

Hurry up, get those bandages.

Here, good thing
I'm an old tailor.

Get your arm down.

[POUNDING ON WALL]

[CRASH]

Shh, here they come.

Don't even take a breath.

Well, fancy seeing you here.

Ah, so you guys are in here, eh?

Where's Rootin-Tootin?

Over there.
And he's as good as new.

Boy, was he homely.

Where are the jewels
that's supposed to be with him?

They always wrap them up
inside the mummy.

We'll have to cut him open.

Let me have that sharp Kn*fe
you got there.

He's burst open.

Ah...

"Yanks win World Series."

Can you b*at that?

Yeah, and I won five bucks.

No kidding. I had the Cubs in--

[YELLS] What?

[GROANS]

Hijackers, eh? After them, boys!

[YELLING]

[SPLASH]
They're gone, professor.

Come on, let's get out of here.

Yeah, but what about King
Rootin-Tootin and the , ?

He blew away.

That wasn't King Rootin-Tootin.

That was his wife,
Queen Hotsie-Totsie.

This is Rootin-Tootin.
He was a midget.

MOE: A midget? And all this
trouble over a shrimp like that?

CURLY: What a small world.

[ALL CHATTERING]

[YELLS]

CURLY: Hey, fellas, look.

A mummy alligator.
I'm gonna take him home.

Oh, boy, would you look good
on my wall.

How am I gonna get you up here?

Oh, a rope.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

[SCREAMS]

What's the matter?

He bit me! Oh, he couldn't bite.

[ALL YELL]

CURLY: Whoo-whoo-whoo.

MOE: Taxi! Taxi!

[♪]