07x05 - How High Is Up?

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Three Stooges". Aired: 1934 - 1945.*
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The Three Stooges were an American vaudeville and comedy team active from 1922 until 1970, best remembered for their 200 short-subject films.
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07x05 - How High Is Up?

Post by bunniefuu »

[♪]

[SNORING]

[FLY BUZZING]

[VEHICLE APPROACHING]

[SNORING]

[SNORING CONTINUES]

[VEHICLE APPROACHING]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

Ooh.

Hey, quit pushin'.

[HORN HONKS]

[HONKING CONTINUES]

Hey...

Hey.

Shut off that alarm clock.

[YELPING]

Come on, get up, get outta here.

What do you think this is,
a camping ground?

Oh. Come on, get out of here.

LARRY: Yeah, we'll get up.

Oh.

Hm. I know.

I forgot to throw out
the anchor.

Yeah, so you did.

[GRUNTS] Oh.

[FRUSTRATED WHINE]

Get your chores done.

You get the tools.

You-- You get some air
in that flat tire.

What are you gonna do?

I'm gonna see if the horn works.

Oh, I just thought I'd ask.
I don't know, I--

[YELPS]

Oh, boy. Salami.

[LAUGHS]

CURLY: Hey, Moe,
we're in plenty of trouble.

What's the matter?

How are we gonna
fix that cavity?

Put a patch on it, egghead.
Put a patch on it.

Patch?

But we have no--

Oh.

Yes, we have.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

[PANTS]

Hey, chucklehead,
did you get the tools?

What tools? The
tools we've been using

for the last years.

Oh, those tools.
Yeah, I got 'em.

Yeah, those tools.

[FRUSTRATED SQUEAL]

[PANTS]

Come on. We gotta drum up
some business. Let's go.

[GROWLS]

[HISSING]

[BANG]

[FRUSTRATED SQUEAL]

I thought I told you

to fix that puncture.

I did.

Go on, get busy.

Yeah, get busy.

I'm gonna help him.

[WHINES]

What now, little man?

I can't get out of my sweater.

How'd you get into it?

I didn't have any trouble,

but since then,

I might have put on
a little weight.

Yeah, you might have.

Get around here.

[YELPS]

Gimme a hand.

Which one?

Am I gonna have trouble
with you?

Help me skin him.

Get over here.

Heave...

ho. [YELLS]

Heave...

Ho. [YELLS]

Gimme those tire irons.

Have you out in a jiffy, kid.

[WHIMPERS]

We'll get this off
in a jiffy. Right.

[GRUNTING]

Hey. Hey. Hey.

What's the matter?
You wanna tear my sweater?

Oh, we'll take it easy.

Ha-ha. He looks like a V .

Yeah. Did you ever hear of a V ?

What's that, a new car?

No, it's an old sock.

Get out, you. Come on.

Get me out.

Take it easy, kid.

Get your hands in there
for leverage.

Pull what you got now.
We'll take a new bite.

Oh, oh. My fingers are caught.
Get me out.

Pull it back, here. Ready.

Hup!

Oh.

We'll have to start over again.

Come on.

Where's the hammer?

Wait a minute.
You wanna k*ll him?

Why don't you mind your
own business? Go ahead, Moe.

Okay, kid. Okay.

I'll just give you
one tap to loosen it.

What, the sweater?

No, the head. Oh, I get the--

[YELPS]

Hold still.

[YELPS] Did it move?

[YELPS]

[FRUSTRATED SQUEAL]

Hold still.

[GRUNTS]

[CHUCKLES]

Move it to the left
a little way.

Little further. That's it.

All right.
A little more leverage.

[YELPS]

How's your iron, there?
It's all right.

Okay, now one more,

and it'll be all over, I think.

[YELPS]

Don't mind me. Don't mind me.

Pull what you got there.

Take it easy, kid.
I got an idea.

Okay.

Hold still.

Now, try that.

Get the hammer. Attaboy.

Oh. It's loose. I hear a rattle.

Wait a minute.

We ain't gettin'
no place with this.

Grab ahold of him.

Up you go. Up.

Easy, now. Take it easy.

Easy.

Ohh.

Wait a minute.

Get your hand outta the way.

[YELPS]

Wait a minute.

Thanks.

[WHIMPERING]

[GRUNTS]

We gotta do somethin'.

Hey, fellas. What?

I'm smotherin'.

Do somethin'.
Quick. Hurry up. Oh.

That's it.

Start snippin'.
Right through there.

[WHIMPERING]

Come on, come on. Work faster.

Wait a minute.

Hey, did that sweater
have a pink bow?

No.

You cut his ear off.

Come on. Come on.

Work faster.
Give me that thing, here.

My goodness.

Well, he only got
two ears, you know.

How you doin'?

[CHATTERING]

Yeah, I got it. [SIGHS]

Thanks, fellas.

Hm. Mittens.
Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

[GRUNTS]

[HORN HONKS]

Pots and pans.

Pots and pans.

[HONKS]

[BELL RINGING]

Look. Business. CURLY: Where?

Over there.

Come on. Whoo-whoo-whoo.

Got the tools?

Whoo-whoo-whoo.

Oh. A bonanza.

Stop thinkin' of food
and get to work.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

Shh.

Hey. Nix, nix.

[MEN CHATTERING]

Fix your lunch pail
for a nickel a hole.

Nickel a hole. Two for a dime.

Two for a dime. Three for .

We-e-e, fix 'em, I'll say.

A nickel a hole. Two for a dime.

Fix your pan, mister?

[STAMMERS]

[YELPS]

Two for a nickel
and three for a dime.

Look, you imbecile.

Fix your lunch pail, buddy?

Ah, there's nothing
wrong with it.

That's what you think.

Hey, what is this?

Just as I suspected, a leak.
Fix it up for a nickel?

[BANG]

[ALL YELPING]

Hey, come back here.

Come on. Come on.

CURLY: Whoo-whoo-whoo.

In there.

That's all for today.

[GROANS]

How many of you guys
are riveters?

Here we are. Yeah, yeah.

At your service, buddy.

Three of the best riveters
that ever riveted.

Okay. We pay $ an hour.

Pal, you just hired yourself
three good men.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.
Where do we start?

On the th floor.

Ninety-seventh floor?

[MOANING]

Ninety-seventh. Ninety-seventh.

[WHIMPERING]

What's the matter?

I can't stand height.

Was your mother frightened
by somethin'?

Yeah, by me.

Come on. Get up here. Ohh.

[YELPS]

Come on, shake a leg, you guys.

MOE: Okay.
Comin' right up there.

Hop on that girder
and get up to work.

Hurry up, lamebrains. Hey.

What's that thing?

In case we gotta bail out.

[ALL YELPING]

Whoo-whoo-whoo.

Hey, Moe-- Whoa.

Don't ever do that, you dummy.

You got us into this.

"Three of the best riveters
that ever riveted."

Why didn't you tell him
you were a groundhog?

Listen, you laugh
when you say that.

[LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY]

[YELLS]

Whoa, whoa.

[MOE YELLS]

CURLY: Hey, fellas,
this is where we get off.

Okay. Why don't they stop it?

Whoo-whoo-whoo.

[YELLING]

Come on. Let's get to work.

I can't. Every time
I look down, I get dizzy.

Well, don't look down.

I can't help it.
I belong down there.

I'll fix that. Turn around.

There we are. Gee, thanks.

I can't see a thing.

All right, follow me.

Okay. Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

[YELPS]

[FRUSTRATED SQUEAL]

[YELPS]

I'm surrounded.

[SQUEALS]

Hey, fellas,
how far is this first step?

Only stories.

Ninety-seven stories?

[YELLING]

[YIPPING]

Hey, did you see
where I almost went?

I know where you ought to go.

Come on, stop playing
and get this thing off of you.

What's the matter with you?

Careful, now.

MOE: Let me get up.

Why, you.

Let me get up.

A hot one, medium rare.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

Hey.

I was just gonna try it.

No mustard.

Rivets.

A hot one, comin' up.

[CRUNCHING]

[CRUNCHING]

[CRUNCHING]

Hey, what are you eatin'?

A weenie, but it's kinda tough.

How's yours?

Mine's all right.

That's a rivet.

[WHIMPERING]

[YELPS]

Why--

[YELPS]

Hey, it isn't lunchtime.
Get back to work.

Any more stalling, and I'll
throw you off the building.

Yes, sir.

LARRY: Hot stuff comin' up.

A hot one. A hot one.

Buck 'er up. Buck 'er up.

[MOTOR BUZZES]

Hey. Hey. What's the matter?

I lost my buckaroo.

Well, why didn't you
hang onto it?

You knocked it out of my hand.

[FRUSTRATED WHINE]

Whoa!

Wait a minute. What do
I look like, a rivet?

How do you feel?

Like a rivet.
Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

[YELPS]

[YELPS]

Don't do that.

Go on, get another bucker-upper.

[BARKS]

Get 'em while they're hot.

[CLANKS]

Buck 'er up.

Buck 'er up.

Give it the gas.

[MOTOR BUZZES]

Hey. Buck 'er up, I said.

Buck 'er up.

Give it the gas.

[BUZZES]

[FRUSTRATED SQUEAL]

[BARKS]

[SQUEALING]

[YIPPING]

[BARKS]

[SQUEALS]

[YELLING]

[THUD]

[YELLING]

[SQUEALING]

[HISSING]

[YELPING]

We put three new riveters
on this section, Mr. Blake.

Well, how are they working out?

I haven't checked on 'em yet.

Well, it looks like good,
solid construction.

You know, you--

[YELPS]

[RUMBLING]

Solid construction, eh?

Where are those three new men?

Why, they've been working
up above there. They--

Where ya been and what do you
got this thing on again for?

I was downstairs.
Did you see where I landed?

What do you mean
by hiring men like them?

A hot one right off the griddle.

Whoo-whoo-whoo.

[YELPING]

[SIZZLING]

[SCREAMING]

I'm on fire!

You dummy.

[YELLS]

Hey. Throw that rivet back up.

Get those men
off of this building!

Go on. Hurry up.

I think he means us.

I'm sure he does.

Come on.
I hope that parachute works.

[ALL YELL]

Open the parachute.

How?

Pull the cord. What cord?

That one hangin' there. Oh.

Nothin' happened.

It will. Oh.

Pull the other cord--
the one with the ring.

You mean this?

[GRUNTS]

[ALL SCREAMING]

CURLY: Help me get
out. Help me get out.

[TIRES SCREECH]

[CRASH]

[♪]
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