[Playing "Deck the Halls"]
So, what do you want for
Christmas?
You haven't started shopping
yet?
Are you crazy?
You'll be buried alive!
Funny, that's what Jonesy
said when he asked me to pick up
his secret Santa gift for you.
You mean, he's not even
buying his gift myself?
Oh, jerk!
Okay, CuJo goalie pads in size
, and a Leafs jersey in an .
No, I wanted the goalie pads
in size , and the jersey in a
.
I'm on a break; can you speed it
up?
Excuse me, Miss, could you
just have a quick peek for my
tennis balls?
I think they're in.
Could you just have a quick boo?
Ha ha... little looky?
Right, just a minute, sir.
I was thinking we could do
our secret Santa at Grind Me.
That way we could sip hot
chocolates while we open
presents!
Caitlin, I really don't have
time for this right now.
Ow!
Isn't that cute?
I think he wants to learn
badminton!
Adorable.
I'll wrap it up for you.
I hope he plays with it in the
house.
Masterson!
Customer needs a fitting for a
new jockstrap!
Aisle three, stat!
Ahh... ooh!
♪
I'll be right back.
I don't think so.
[Jen screaming]
I hate working Christmas!
I hate working Christmas!
Stupid, annoying, pushy,
last-minute customers!
Aaahh!
Merry Christmas.
♪
♪ Life begins after school
♪ That's when we bend
all the rules ♪
♪ Time to hang
with all my friends ♪
♪ We like to be together
in a place where we belong ♪
♪ I'm sixteen
♪ Starting to find my way
♪ Got a new job
♪ Gonna start at
the mall today ♪
♪ Thank God I'm on my own
for the first time ♪
♪ I'm sixteen
♪ Life is sweet
♪ When you're growing up
so fast ♪
♪ You got to make the good
times last ♪
♪
♪ I'm sixteen, sixteen
♪ Got to make the good
times last ♪
So what do you think?
You really want to know?
I hate it.
Snap-ish.
Are you okay?
Yeah, you don't look so good.
I'm fine.
Nuh-uh.
I've seen you live through
inventory without even messing
up your hair.
Something's wrong.
I'm sorry, I just can't get
into the holidays this year.
This is the first Christmas
since the big parental split,
huh?
Yeah.
That's so harsh.
But that's not the worst of
it!
What do you mean?
We didn't want to tell you
guys, but Jonesy's dad and my
mom are kind of...
dating!
Whoa...
No way...
Why didn't you tell us?
I don't know.
I just don't like picturing my
parents going on dates.
It's weird.
It's totally weird.
I wonder if they kiss with
tongue.
Ew, Jude!
Jude!
What?
Did you think they were gonna
stay your innocent little
parents forever?
Anyway, my dad's away, so my
sister Courtney and I have to
spend Christmas break with
Jonesy and his stinky brothers.
And they have all these stupid
traditions we're expected to
adopt or something.
At least you and Jonesy are
friends.
Trust me, spending an entire
weekend with him is a completely
different thing.
You do not know disgusting
until you share a bathroom with
three boys.
It's so rank after they leave,
you don't even have time to make
a face.
You just go blind.
Ew, gross!
Are they all like that?
Pretty much.
Great news, guys... Santa's
ulcers are acting up.
That's good?
Good for me.
The job's up for me, and it's a
sweet deal.
You get to sit on your butt all
day!
Wish me luck!
That is what I have to look
forward to.
I might as well accept that it's
never going to be the same.
Well, we'll just make our own
super-fun Christmas tradition
here!
The mall closes early, so why
don't we all do something fun
after presents, like go for
pizza?
Sounds like a plan, Stan.
Sick.
We're supposed to come right
home after work.
Besides, right now, I can't wait
to get out of this mall.
I'm not wearing that.
But it's Christmas!
Put it on.
Put it on!
Okay, okay...
Happy?
And I know you're busy, so
I'll help you do your shopping.
Come on!
Go ahead, dudettes.
I've got presents to wrap.
You're gonna make someone very
happy tomorrow, Mr. Ball.
Okay, you're starting to get on
my nerves, dude!
[Snickering]
[Man humming]
Hey, watch where you're
going, monkey-boy!
Everyone has lost it.
Ugh, working at the mall on
Christmas bites.
Hey, did you hear about Jen
and Jonesy's parents hooking up?
Jen's kind of freaking out.
I don't blame her!
So, if they got married, that
would make Jen and Jonesy
step-siblings?
Yeah... weird, huh?
Poor Jen.
MAN: Ow!
Aw, man, that's the third one
I've lost today.
Who was that for?
A special guy I like to
call... me.
Jude, you're not supposed to
be shopping for you right now.
I can't help it.
Everything's so shiny and looks
so good!
Yeah, well, I've got three
hours to find something for my
mom, who will hate whatever I
buy anyway, so why do I bother?
Just get her a gift
certificate.
I heard about your mom.
Do you think they kiss with
tongue?
ALL: Jude!
Ugh!
Speaking of gross, did I mention
that Jonesy's family have a
turkey eating contest?
The secret is to eat as much
as you can in the first seven
minutes, before your brain
registers that your stomach's
full.
Thanks.
Any time.
So, why don't you just tell
Jonesy you're not into it?
[Phone ringing]
Be right back.
Hello?
Because my mom made this big
deal about making the boys feel
welcome.
Ugh, it's so Brady Bunch!
Guess what, guys?
Jonesy got the job at Santa's
Village!
Gee, maybe if I'm really
lucky, he'll wear his Santa suit
home!
I know!
Let's all go see him!
Come on, we'll grab everyone.
It'll be fun!
Oh, why not continue the
holiday horror?
Hey, where's Wyatt?
Last time I saw him, he was
in the line-up at Grind Me.
You do not want to be around him
before he's caffeinated.
Hey.
Yo, what's up?
[Groaning]
If I wasn't so tired, I'd be
laughing at those hats.
He is grumpy.
One no-foam, extra-tall
cappuccino.
Ahh...
[Yelling]
I feel weak.
Is my hand shaking.
Don't worry, guys.
This is so gonna cheer you all
up.
Huh?
Oh, my lord...
Whoa...
Well, that cheered me up.
Oh, man...
[Laughing]
Nice look, Jonesy.
Go easy on him, bro.
Poor dude can't find his pants.
[All laughing]
I hate Christmas.
[Band playing "Deck the Halls"]
Where should we look next?
What did you say?
I said, "Where should we
look for Caitlin's present?"
Huh?
I'll give you... $ . if you
stop playing.
[Band stops playing]
Hey, maybe I could find
Caitlin something in here.
EMPLOYEES: Happy holidays!
Give it!
Get it!
Got it!
ALL: Yeah!
Need a gift?
Get them the "somebody loves me"
sweater.
The cast of The O.C.wears them
in our ads.
It's perfect for everyone.
Yeah, and... if you don't get
one, it means nobody loves you.
Really?
Heavy.
I'll take one in the chick size,
and one in my dude size.
Ahem...
But dude, it's the "somebody
loves me" sweater.
What if I don't get one?
Fine, I'll just take the
chick one.
Now, where can I find Nikki?
The Grinch?
Change room duty.
Be right back.
Do I have one of these
already?
Eeee!
Yes, but buy another!
Okay... I am so incredibly
loved!
ALL: Eeee!
WYATT: Please hurry!
Jude, what are you doing
here?
Getting a "love me" sweater.
What are you doing here?
Ugh, hiding.
They think I'm helping someone.
Do you think this is a good
gift.
Ugh, uh...
Well, it depends on whether the
recipient is someone who'd
rather be a fashion sheep or an
individual.
It's for Caitlin.
It's perfect.
Now, scram before they catch me.
GIRLS: Happy holidays!
NIKKI: Ugh.
Guess what.
I got my gift for Jude, your
gift for Wyatt, Jonesy's gift
for you, and Nikki's gift for
me!
What about the line-ups?
I'm a professional, and you
haven't seen aggressive shoppers
until you've been to a sample
sale.
Ugh, this is impossible.
Let me do it.
I'm a master rapper.
[Phone ringing]
Ho, ho, ho... what do you
want?
JONESY: It's me.
y Don't forget to grab the hocke
socks for the Jonesy family
tradition three-legged race
around the tree, okay?
Gotta go.
Ugh!
I can't keep pretending I'm into
all this.
I just want to have things the
way they were.
Excuse me, young lady, can I
get these in another size?
Take a number, tubby.
You just told off Santa
Claus.
Wow, you must be really bummed.
Jonesy hasn't even asked what
I want to do for Christmas.
At least he has Christmas
spirit.
Ho, ho, ho!
Merry Christmas!
Nice tights, ha ha!
That's it!
Don't expect anything from
Santa.
I'm putting you on his naughty
little brat list.
Hello yummy mommy.
Hey, kid.
You forgot your candy cane.
So, beautiful, have you been
naughty or nice?
Hey!
Pervert!
This elf was trying to pick
me up!
You're fired!
I want you out of my village
now!
But... I'm you're little
helper!
[Blowing raspberry]
Oh, I'm gonna get you, kid!
That's it!
This Christmas officially sucks!
[Laughing]
I'm so bagged.
I would've totally scored
that yummy mommy if it hadn't
been for these stupid tights.
Right.
So, did you guys find your
secret Santa presents?
I had to fight off six psycho
bargain-hunters for that.
Okay, grumpy bears.
Christmas cheer for all.
Help yourselves.
That's awful!
What is that?
The eggnog candy-cane
smoothie.
I thought it'd be festive.
Sorry.
Last minute shoppers annoy me.
It's not like Christmas just
surprises you.
It's on the same day every year,
for sobbing out loud, and if I
hear "Deck the Halls" one more
time, I'm gonna k*ll myself!
[Band playing "Deck the Halls"]
[Band stops]
That wasn't very
Christmas-like.
I'm with Nikki.
Working here has stomped all the
holiday cheer I had into the
ground.
Ho, ho, ho, ho!
Ho, ho, ho!
Look at me!
I'm Santa!
I can fire elves!
Okay, guys, I know you all
hate Christmas right now, so
let's just do something fun
together.
I could sneak us into a movie
for free!
Shut up!
That would be so great!
I promised I'd go straight
home.
Come on, guys.
Stop being so lame.
Please, please, please?
Two hours, and then you can go.
It'll be our own little
Christmas Eve party.
I could skip the annual
Trivial Pursuit game.
My uncle cheats.
Cool.
I'm in.
Ah, what the heck.
This is gonna be just like a
Saturday night, only
Christmas-ier.
Meet you guys out front.
I've gotta go return this
costume.
Oh, but it's so sexy!
Back at you, Rudolph.
Come on, guys, let's go!
[Heavenly choir]
This may be the best idea
ever!
What the--?
This is so cool of you,
Jonesy.
Think we can agree on a movie?
JONESY: Sure!
JUDE: Yeah.
JEN: No worries.
So what makes your movie so much
better than mine?
Easy: mine's about hot chicks
and spies.
Yours is about a bunch of sweaty
dudes climbing rocks.
It'd be better than Wyatt's
pick.
Just because none of you
actually read, doesn't mean you
wouldn't like the adaptation of
the Longest Hour.
More like the longest three
hours.
It's all good.
We'll settle this the only fair
way.
Everybody, draw.
[Engine revving]
MAN IN FILM: I race cars,
because for those seconds,
nothing else matters, not even
the babes.
I can't believe we're
watching Torque : More Torque.
I won, fair and square,
suckas!
Where are our seats?
I said I could get us in for
free.
I didn't say anything about
seats.
No biggie.
We'll just sit in the aisles.
JONESY: Dude, my foot!
JUDE: Sorry, man!
WYATT: Yo, I can't see squat!
Jen, move, I can't see past
your butt!
I never would've come if I
knew I'd have to sit on the
floor!
What's got her creased?
Something about me leaving
the toilet seat up last night.
I fell in!
Ugh, I hate it when you do
that.
See?
And by the way, it smelled like
a cat d*ed in there.
Ew!
Chilli fries?
I'll get the gum out later.
Let's just sit and enjoy the
movie, okay?
We can try.
Adrenaline junkie guys driving
cars fast.
Gee, can you say "lowest common
denominator"?
Not all the drivers are guys.
Some of them are hot babes.
Oh, yeah!
MAN: Come on, be quiet.
Shut up!
I'm so sorry.
We'll be more quie... ah...
Hi, there...
Oh.
Aahh!
Hold on!
Shh!
If you shush us one more
time, I'm gonna--
What?
We've had six noise
complaints.
You're all going to have to
leave.
Vin Diesel gets in an
accident and dies at the end.
Enjoy.
[Audience booing]
At least we still have the
presents.
Oh, no!
The presents!
I left them outside The Lemon.
Ah, man...
Great.
What do you think the chances
are that they're still there?
I'd say between slim and
none, and slim just left town.
Are you sure you know the
way?
Relax.
I know what I'm doing.
This is the shortcut.
We've been down this hallway
like eight times now.
No, we haven't.
Yes, we have.
Yes, told you I'd find it.
Does anyone notice anything
strange?
It's closed!
We must've been lost for longer
than we thought.
The entrance!
It's locked!
The mall closed at :
today.
Oh, no. You mean we're locked
in.
And the presents are gone!
[Sobbing]
Okay, let's be calm, and not
put the blame on anyone here.
As if!
This is all your fault!
Thanks to your stupid scams,
we're spending Christmas Eve at
the mall.
Excuse me for trying to make
everyone happy.
And we wouldn't have gotten
kicked out of the movie if you'd
kept your big mouth shut.
[Crying]
It was just a movie, Cait.
It wasn't just a movie.
It was supposed to be our
Christmas together.
You've all finally convinced me.
Christmas does suck!
I've been listening to you guys
whine and fight all day long,
while I was wearing myself out
shopping for all your stupid
gifts.
You said it was a breeze.
I lied!
I'm sick of trying to cheer
everyone up.
So if you guys wanna just b*at
each other up, go ahead.
Knock yourselves out!
I'll take a cr*ck at Jonesy.
Oh, yeah?
Ball up, step-sis.
Don't call me that.
See?
This is what I'm talking about.
You two are so lucky!
I used to wish for a brother or
sister, and you've got, like,
five of them!
It would be so fun to have a big
family at Christmas, even if
they did have stupid
turkey-eating contests I didn't
want to be in.
You don't want to be in our
turkey-eating contest?
Not really.
I mean, I can handle our parents
dating, but you can't just take
over everything!
I guess we did kind of take
over the family thing.
Okay, maybe I could be a bit
more flexible.
The stocking race sounds kind of
cool.
Whoa... heavy emo action.
You okay?
Mm-hmm.
Sorry I went postal there, guys.
I just wanted to have a big
Christmas for once.
Kind of a stupid idea, huh?
No way.
It was a great idea.
It was better before all our
presents got stolen, thanks to
me.
Who cares?
We're still friends.
You gotta be pretty stoked about
that.
Jude, that was so sweet!
Um, I hate to break up this
moment, but it looks like none
of us will be suffering through
our usual celebrations.
We're locked in the mall,
remember?
Oh, yeah.
What are we gonna do?
Jonesy, when you were working
security, didn't you take a copy
of the master key?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah!
Can't believe Ron the
rent-a-cop trusted you with a
key that opens all the doors in
the mall!
Including the exit!
We can go home!
Oh, no, we can't.
Not yet.
Guys, we have the master key,
and we have the entire mall to
ourselves!
Right on!
[Cheering]
♪ Christmas is here and we're
gonna have a good time ♪
♪ Na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na
♪ Hanging in the mall with some
really great friends of mind ♪
♪ Na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na
♪ I got the "somebody loves me"
sweater ♪
♪ Na-na-na, na-na-na, na-na-na
Ice mochaccino headache!
It hurts!
♪ Na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na
Guess what I just found...
free presents!
Jude!
Dude!
Hey, that looks familiar.
I knew it!
That's my present for Nikki!
Well, it's about time.
I found 'em over here.
It's the lost-and-found!
Our Christmas is saved!
It's not the lost-and-found.
It's a donation box.
Gifts will be picked up
Christmas day, and distributed
to those in need.
Anyone else thinking what I'm
thinking?
Yeah, let's leave them here.
Here's those Christmas
noogies you ordered.
Agh, Jonesy, stop it!
I feel all warm and fuzzy
inside.
When they open my present,
they'll think I love 'em.
Oh, you bought me the
"somebody loves me" sweater!
In what colour?
Pink!
Thank you!
You guys are the best.
Now I remember why I don't
hate working at the mall.
We'd better get home.
Bobbing for presents has
probably already started.
Cool, let's go.
Ahh... I really needed that.
Ladies and gentlemen, for the
first time in history, a
non-relative walked away with
Jonesy's family Christmas cup!
I'll get it back next year,
and by the way, you guys do not
want to know what the bathroom
smelled like after Miss Champion
Turkey Eater here got through
with it.
ALL: Ew...
Use my seven minute tip?
Yes...
Well, this was definitely my
most memorable Christmas.
So, should we make getting
locked in the mall our new
tradition?
Oh, yeah!
Mall's opening any minute.
Finally, things will get back to
normal.
Wait, isn't there some
tradition that happens the day
after Christmas?
Huh?
[Footsteps rumbling]
ALL: Boxing day!
♪
01x05 - Deck the Mall
Watch/Buy Amazon
Revolves around the lives of six sixteen-year-old friends who work part-time jobs at different stores within the mall.
Revolves around the lives of six sixteen-year-old friends who work part-time jobs at different stores within the mall.