- I'm just heading to the fields, duke.
I'll be back.
[Sheep bleating]
- Clear!
[Upbeat hoedown music]
- All right!
♪
- Rat-a-bunga!
- ♪ From the haystacks up to the hilltops ♪
♪ We go on dancing
- Whoo-hoo! Whoa!
Ow, ow! Okay, ow.
Ow!
- ♪ Do si do your partner now ♪
♪
♪ Party till the morning light ♪
♪
♪ Do si do and don't you know ♪
♪ It's just the way we animals roll ♪
[Motor roaring]
- Ha ha!
[All snoring]
[Air horn blaring]
- Top of the morning.
- Otis. - What's going on?
- Faith and begorra. Liam neeson.
Kiss me blarney stone.
- What's with the green hats and the being cheerful?
- Wake up and smell the shamrocks, people.
Today's st. Patrick's day.
- Gee, otis, I didn't know
You were such a fan of irish culture.
- If by irish culture, you mean green money,
Then, aye, laddie.
- Otis, what are you talking about?
- Today's the day the farmer makes half his money
Selling his potato crop at the st. Patty's spud fair.
- Do I hear $? $, $, $, $.
$, $, Here me holler another dollar.
$, Do I hear $? $, $.
Sold to the creepy hillbilly in the front row.
[Guffawing]
I won! I won! I won!
- Once people get a whiff of the farmer's crop,
His potatoes will bring in a fortune!
- A whiff?
Otis, don't tell us you sprayed the potatoes
With artificial odor enhancers.
- Good idea.
I won't tell you that.
I sprayed the potatoes with artificial odor enhancers!
Behold eau de spud number .
Aggression.
Obsession.
Detention.
[Whispers] spud.
- Otis, that was creepy.
- Yeah, it sure was.
But the point is, those potatoes are gonna get top dollar,
Allowing us to live in luxury for three whole weeks.
- Three weeks? - Awesome.
- That's half a year.
- Yes, nothing can ruin this st. Patrick's day.
Nothing!
- Guys, the potato crop is gone!
- Erin go schwa?
- Hey, it is gone.
- Without the potato harvest,
The farmer's gonna go broke.
- And then he'll have to sell us all
To the animals less outlet.
- [Guffawing]
[All shudder]
- Guys, who could've taken 'em?
- Oh, open your eyes, people.
This whole thing has leprechaun written all over it.
[All laughing]
- Dude, there's no such thing as leprechauns.
- Fine, but when you need a killarney shamrock spell
To undo a banshee's curse, don't come crying to me.
- What?
- Pip, play last night's video
From our high-tech monitoring system.
- On it.
Oops, wrong panel.
- Oh, gross.
- Wait, what was that?
[All gasp]
- I don't believe it.
It was a leprechaun.
- Pig was right.
- Maybe now you'll believe me
About those outhouse goblins.
- What?
- The farmer's gonna lose all his potato money.
- He'll go broke. - Maybe not.
Pig, don't leprechauns hoard their wealth
In big pots o' gold?
- That is correct.
- Don't you see?
All we have to do is catch that leprechaun
And make him give us his gold.
- And then the farmer's money problems will be over forever.
- To the leprechaun!
- Here, leprechaun. - Where are you?
- Nice irish fairy.
- Come out, come out, wherever you are.
- Lep, lep, lep, leprechaun!
- Otis, look, potato skins.
- Look sharp, everyone.
Remember, leprechauns are elusive, devious,
And extremely hard to--
- Found him!
All: a leprechaun!
- Seamus' knickers.
Talking barnyard animals?
I thought you were a myth like unicorns or polite frenchmen.
- I hereby arrest you for potato larceny.
You have the right to remain irish.
Everything you say in a charming brogue
Can and will be used against you.
- Oh, come, lad.
I'm willing to share.
Why, I make a knish
That'll have your taste buds river dancing.
- Well, I guess you're right.
Maybe we can talk this out and come to a peaceful--
Get his face!
- So it's a bunch of ruffians you be, hmm?
Well, back off, laddies,
Or you'll be feeling the fury of me whimsical, magical wrath.
- Pig, you didn't tell us he had whimsical, magical wrath.
- Well, maybe you should have taken my class
At the learning hutch.
Leprechauns have-- and this is important--
Whimsical, magical wrath.
That will be on the test, people.
- Otis, that leprechaun's craftier than he looks.
- Oh, really?
Well, when the going gets crafty,
The crafty get...
Leprechauns.
Ha, yeah.
Think about it.
Okay, here's the plan.
Leprechauns can't resist shillelagh's.
Shillelagh: that's a fancy irish walking stick.
So I'll pretend to be a shillelagh salesmen,
And when he comes up to buy one, you whack him.
- Got it. Clobber him with a she-lollie.
- It's shillelagh. - Sha-looly.
- Shillelagh. - Shi-lally-lo.
- No. - Sha-la-lala-lalala.
- Shillelagh.
- Sha-lappy-slap!
- That's the worst one yet. - Sha-looly!
- Just take the irish stick and hide!
Shillelaghs for sale!
Fresh irish sticks!
Get 'em while they're irish.
- Ooh.
A shillelagh stand, is it?
Have you got any of the new mark s
With the ergonomic handles?
- Ooh, the mark .
Well, as a matter of fact, I happen to have--
Hit him now!
- [Ululating]
- Ah!
Ooh!
Why?
Ah!
Okay, I feel--
- [Cackling]
It's funny 'cause it's painful.
- We'll get him!
Zap!
- Nice try, laddies.
Enjoy your freakish shamrock heads.
- Freddy, peck, what happened?
- Not sure.
All I know is I have a sudden urge
To process sunlight into simple sugars.
- Otis, now we really have to catch that leprechaun.
He's the only one who can turn freddy and peck back to normal.
- Don't worry, guys.
I'll fix this.
I'm way smarter than a leprechaun...
Or am i?
- Otis, this won't work.
Leprechauns like their women to be petite,
And I'm large and a pig...
And not a woman.
- Don't let that hold you back.
Just lure him in with your oversized feminine wiles,
And we'll jump him.
- [Giggles]
- Fine.
♪ Dum dee dum dee doodly dum ♪
♪ Deedly deedly dee
♪ I'm a she leprechaun and so sassy ♪
♪ Look at me
♪ Girly girly girly
- He's doing great.
All right, guys,
Now we just sit on the cold, hard ground and wait.
Zap!
[Giggling]
- Hey, look.
- Sweet! Free lawn chairs.
- They'll make sitting a pleasure.
Squish!
[All sigh]
- ♪ Dum dee dum dee doodly dum ♪
♪ Deedly deedly dee
- Well, aren't you a pretty lassie?
- Oh, thank you.
- Enough small talk.
Let's do a lip jig.
- What?
Slow down there, hot stuff.
Fresh.
Hey.
Down, boy, down.
- That's pig. Come on!
[All groaning]
- Otis, I can't move. - We're stuck.
- Come on, taste the magic.
Don't be shy.
It's like a trip to ireland.
- All right, listen grabby hands.
I'm a pig. - So you are.
And you've got a corned beef sandwich for a head.
- That's right, i--
I got a what?
Zap!
Oh, no!
- Pig, don't worry.
We're here to rescue--
- Whoa. - Ooh, yummy.
I mean, no, that's not good.
- Does anyone have any mustard?
- Lepre... Chaun!
[Echoing] chaun!
Chaun!
Chaun!
Okay, let's review.
The farmer's going to go bankrupt,
Freddy and peck have turned into shamrocks,
And pig has a corned beef sandwich head.
- Well, maybe if you hadn't sprayed those potatoes.
- I didn't do that.
- Did so!
You even made that creepy commercial.
- [Whispers] spud.
Okay, yes, I did that.
It's my fault our friends have been turned into
Horrible, irish-themed monstrosities.
- Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, freddy, let me have it.
- Can somebody spread this on me?
And don't be afraid to really get in there.
- Otis, next time you have a zany scheme,
Why don't you just go straight to the horrible outcome
And cut out the middle man?
- Wait, cut out the middle man?
That's it.
Why bother catching the leprechaun
When we can find his gold ourselves?
- Hey, that's right.
I mean, everyone knows leprechauns keep their gold
At the end of the rainbow.
- Where we gonna find a rainbow?
- Easy. We make one.
All you need to do is close your eyes,
Wish very hard, and fill your heart with love.
- You heard the sandwich.
Do what it says.
Pig, there's no rainbow.
- Oh, I left out a part.
You also have to seed a rain cloud with sulfur iodide.
[All groan]
- Pip, gas up the plane.
Looks like I have a date with adventure!
Well, that sure was a great adventure.
Come on, guys, let's follow that rainbow.
- Let's go!
- Potato stew, potato pie,
Mashed potatoes, curly fries,
Spuds florentine, hash o' the browns,
And you shall be me potato bride.
[Gasps] a rainbow.
Sinead o'connor.
I've got to protect me gold!
- ♪ Leprechaun
♪ Leprechaun
♪ Leprechaun
♪ Leprechaun
♪ Leprechaun
♪ Leprechaun
♪ Yeah
- Me gold!
No!
Zap!
- Ha ha!
Nice try, tiny mcloser.
We found your gold fair and square,
Which means we get to keep it.
- Curses!
How did you know that?
- Once a leprechaun loses possession of his gold,
He's prevented from touching it by...
Anyone?
Anyone at all?
A magical force field.
- Please, laddies, you can't do this.
The other leprechauns will shun me
And call me names like "old no-gold"
And "patty o'goldless" and "ain't-got-gold harry."
I can't face that.
- Oh, poor little leprechaun.
The other wee folk will call me mean names
And hurt me self-esteem.
I'll give you your gold back...
On one condition.
- Anything.
- Turn my friends heads back to normal
And replace the farmer's potatoes.
- That's two things.
- Hmm, maybe I'll keep it.
Oh, gold, I love you so much.
Oh, I'm gonna kiss on you.
Oh, I'm gonna marry you, gold.
Oh, here I come.
- No!
Don't love me gold!
I'll give you what you want.
Just don't put your cow lips on it.
Zap!
[Voices overlapping]
- [Guffawing]
Taters!
I loves taters!
- Well, looks like everything worked out nicely.
- Yep, and we all learned leprechauns are bitter,
Spiteful little homunculi that are best left alone.
- You got that right. - You said it, sister.
- Otis, otis!
Those eggs you sprayed with artificial odor enhancers,
They're all missing!
- What? I didn't--
[Whispers] eggs.
Okay, I did that.
But who would've taken them?
- [Laughing maniacally]
- Pig, what do we know about easter bunnies?
- Well, maybe you should have taken my class.
The most crucial thing to know about easter bunnies is--
Anyone?
Anyone?
Anyone?
Seriously, anyone?
- Guys, I found out what's been stinking up the barn
For the last three weeks.
- Is it toxic sludge?
- Is it expired fish paste?
- Pig's old gym clothes?
- Yes.
Now, to dispose of this junk
In a safe and nonhazardous manner.
Splorch!
- I'll get the giant cannon.
- Locked and loaded.
- Excellent.
Now, make sure you aim in a precise scientific manner.
- Right.
[Voices overlapping]
- No whammies! No whammies!
Boom!
Nice work, everyone.
That mess won't be troubling us anymore.
Splat!
[Indistinct radio chatter]
- [Screams]
Crash!
- Oh, that's not good.
- Oh.
Oh, oh, ho.
Wow, that was a close one.
It's all right, moustache.
You're safe now.
Oh, you're so brave and bushy.
- It's okay. He's fine.
- Whew! - That was a close one.
- Glad to hear that.
- Now let's get rid of this anvil.
Boom!
Clang!
- [Screaming]
- Peck did it.
- Poor officer fred.
- Now who's gonna give out traffic tickets?
- And get cats out of trees?
- And keep us safe from swamp goblins?
- Worry not.
I have a barely formulated plan
That has a slim chance of not failing.
I am a human man who would like to apply
For the police human position.
- You got the job.
- Really?
Isn't there some kind of cop test
Or something you want me to take?
- Good idea. What's a red light mean?
- Oh, red light.
Oh, wait.
Oh, I know this one.
Oh, um... Fruit merchant's crossing.
- You got the job. - Really?
I'm not even sure that that was--
- Too late, you got the job. Get out.
- Are you positive? 'Cause i--
- You got the job. - I'm actually--
- Job. - Okay.
- Got. Out. Get.
- I'm actually... - Now.
- Just a cow.
I'm not even a person. - Job, gotten.
You're not listening to anything I'm saying, are you?
- Out. Get.
[Sirens blaring]
- Huh?
- Attention, barn animals.
This is the fun police.
Come out with your party on.
- What in the world? - Let's check this out.
- Is that otis?
- Otis? - Is that you?
- He's the man. - Look at him.
- Yep, I got a badge and pants and everything.
- Can we ride in the squad car? - I want to work the siren.
- Can I see your taser?
- Guys, guys, I can't allow noncommissioned civilians
To use official city equipment.
[All groan]
- Which is why I'm going to deputize you.
Badges for everyone.
All: yay!
- Whoa!
- Here you go, pig.
- No, thanks, otis.
Let's just say I'm not cut out for law enforcement.
What makes you think you can go ?
- Uh...
I'm having a baby?
- A baby?
Well, why didn't you say so?
Go, go!
- I see.
Well, how about we make you
Official donut getter instead?
- What does it pay? - Zero dollars.
- Then I'm in.
- I want to be dispatcher.
- I'll head up the cheese crimes unit.
- Dibs on meter maid. - Dibs on assistant meter maid.
- Yes, weird, yes, and stop talking.
Okay, let's do police things.
[Siren blaring]
- Officer pip, look at that suspicious character.
- What, you mean that guy carrying his lunch?
- Guy carrying his lunch
Or cyber terror mastermind taking top-secret defense plans
To his spymaster's drop-off point!
- Let's take him down.
- Hold it right there.
- Bah!
Hey, that's my lunch.
- Ha! A likely story.
What's in the bag, officer pip?
- Looks like peanut butter and jelly.
- Ah, well, perhaps next time you'll get a license
Before you put-- run away!
- Expired tags.
Missing hubcap.
Excessive tire pressure.
Stupid color.
- Uh, freddy?
I think this is our car.
- Back talk, eh?
[Screams]
Officer down! Officer down!
- All right, buddy, stop right there.
- I think that's a statue.
- Right.
Carry on, citizen.
- Otis, we're bored.
- Yeah, there's no crime in this town.
- Well, we could go door to door
Informing citizens about county water regulations.
All: hmm.
- Or we could go back to the station
And play spin the taser.
- I like it. - That's way better.
[Voices overlapping]
- Again?
It's my lucky day.
[Screams]
- Who wants donuts?
[All cheering]
- Ooh, glazed.
[Telephone ringing]
- Ooh, call.
Police department.
Dispatch officer abby speaking.
What's that?
Otis, a masked bandit just stole all the fresh donuts
From the donut store!
- The donut store?
I was just there.
I could've been k*lled.
- A real crime.
This is what we've been waiting for.
Come on, deputies.
- Yeah, let's move out.
-, -, Good buddy.
- Freddy, anything on the store security camera?
- Nope, just a bunch of brown tape.
- You're an idiot.
Pip, any clues?
- We got a footprint.
- And it looks like a size .
- So we're looking for someone with a foot.
- Still an idiot.
To the footprint database!
- Processing.
[Electronic beeping]
Three matches found.
- And they said this was a waste of $ million.
- Snotty boy.
- Mrs. Beady.
All: the farmer?
- No way it's him.
This has snotty's stink all over it.
- Here, let me spray some air freshener.
[Screams]
I need backup.
- Okay, guys, be on the lookout for a -foot,
Redheaded sack of hate.
- Roger. - No, my name's otis.
- I know.
I was talking to roger.
Roger, can you file this report with the d.a.
And tell him we're still on for golf tomorrow?
- -.
- Actually, I need it done by :.
Now go! - I love jumping out of cars.
- Otis, there's snotty boy.
- And he's got a bag of donuts.
- Stop in the name of the long udder of the law.
- [Blubbering]
- Police. I need your tricycle.
- Whoa!
- Let's ride.
- Ha ha!
[Imitating siren sounds]
- Guys, take him down.
- [Screams]
Stupid tricycle cops.
You got nothing on me.
- Aha! Donuts.
- And a receipt for their purchase.
- What?
Milk me.
- You guys are the worst cops ever.
You should be on that show,
Real stories of the stupidest cops in the world.
- Real stories of the stupidest cops in the world!
- You're going away for a long time, buddy.
- Huh?
Whoo-hoo!
- Ah, nuts.
- Here, have a roundy, stupid cop.
Hey, here's another.
Another roundy for you.
Roundy!
- Thank you for helping us with our training exercise.
- Wait, this wasn't--
- Carry on.
- [Screams]
- Hey, abby, got a new batch of donuts for the kitchen.
Boy, those donut people are really nice.
They keep--
- Hold on, pig.
Police department.
Dispatch officer abby speaking.
What?
Calling otis.
The masked bandit just robbed another batch of donuts.
- Say what?
I just left the place.
Boy, my donut angel is really looking out for me.
Thank you, donut angel.
- No problem, honey.
- Otis, why aren't we going back to the scene of the crime?
- Abby's call came in two minutes ago.
I'm guessing the other size is already home,
Eating the loot.
- Police! Open up!
- Hello?
- You're under arrest for grand theft donut.
- You're going away for a long time.
- Huh?
But, officers, I've been here all morning.
- Oh, really?
Then how do you explain that plate of donuts on your table?
- I just made those with my own hands.
- A likely story.
- Oh, careful.
- Ah, sweet cud, that's hot!
My face flesh is melting!
[Crying]
Well, your story checks out.
Come on, guys, let's get out of here.
- Wait, where are you going?
What about these handcuffs?
Hello?
- Two suspects down.
I hate to say it, guys.
But it looks like the farmer is our donut bandit.
- It's always the good ones. - So tragic.
- What a waste.
- But at least now we can try out our new battering ram.
- Let's rock and roll.
- Okay, farmer, come out with your--
[Engine rumbling]
- He's getting away.
- Probably to steal more donuts.
- Not if we get there first.
- Is that all you need?
- Okay, guys, this stakeout should nab us our perp.
Ready, abby? - Ready.
- Freddy, peck?
Both: ready.
- Okay, guys.
The farmer should be here any minute.
- Otis, otis!
There's a masked man headed into the store.
[Doorbell rings]
- Hello, ordinary customer.
Welcome to the donut store.
How may i-- take him down!
- Police tackle!
- Freeze, dirt bag!
- Ah, my eyes!
- [Screams]
- Aha!
Huh?
All: pig?
- Pig, you're ruining the whole stakeout.
- Otis, I think pig isthe thief.
- I am not.
- Then how do you explain the ski mask
And cat burglar outfit?
- Oh, I just put this on so no one knows I'm a pig,
And for some reason, I keep getting free donuts.
Give me three vanilla sprinkles, a couple of old-fashioneds,
And jelly filleds, and make it snappy.
- Don't hurt me.
- Gee, pig.
Did you ever wonder why the donuts were free?
- I did not.
- Nice work, guys.
I'll take it from here.
All: officer fred!
- Fully recovered and back on duty.
So where's the perp?
- Right, the perp.
Yes, well-- look over there!
- Huh? Where?
Is that him, or this guy?
No, wait, is it-- wait, how about you?
- Now look over here!
- I got him.
Police tackle!
You're mine, buddy.
Don't make this ugly.
Hands where I can see him!
- I think it's time to leave.
- Oh, you're trying to hit me with a plant, huh?
- Oh, hold on.
I still haven't put my order in.
All: pig!
- Come on.
- You're going away for a long time, buddy.
Ah, nuts.
02x24 - Four Leaf Otis/Cop Cow
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Following the events of the film, the series' plot generally revolves around Otis and his friends going on various misadventures and trying to keep their anthropomorphism a secret from humans.
Following the events of the film, the series' plot generally revolves around Otis and his friends going on various misadventures and trying to keep their anthropomorphism a secret from humans.