01x05 - A Young Lady and v*olence

[bunniefuu]

[RUDEUS sighs]

Uh, Miss Ghislaine? Did my father tell y--

Just Ghislaine is fine. You can drop the "Miss."

[RUDEUS] Oh.

[GHISLAINE] Read this. I can't, so do it out loud.

[RUDEUS] "To my dear son Rudeus.

I'm sure you have no idea what's going on.

I'd tell you to ask that musclebound she-beast,

but her brain mutated into an extra bicep a long time ago,

so you won't get a decent answer."

[GHISLAINE] What was that?

Whoa! Please sit down, Ghislaine,

that was a stupid little joke, you know!

[GHISLAINE] Oh, I see.

"I'll cut to the chase and at least let you know

where I'm sending you. You're going to tutor

a nine-year-old noblewoman in Roa!"

[RUDEUS] A job! All right, the old man came through!

But was it necessary to knock me out first?

"The woman with you works as her family's

bodyguard and swordsmanship instructor.

So, in exchange for continuing your training,

she has requested that you tutor her as well.

Even though she's got a bicep-brain,

try not to laugh, I think she's serious."

[GHISLAINE] That son of a...

[RUDEUS] "But she is a Sword King!

When it comes to the blade,

I can promise you won't find a better teacher anywhere.

I've never once managed to b*at her. Except in bed."

[RUDEUS] Would it have k*lled you to

leave that part out, Paul?

[RUDEUS] Is there anyone he hasn't slept with?

[RUDEUS] "For the next five years, until you turn ,

you'll live in Roa teaching reading, writing,

arithmetic, and basic magic.

During that time, I forbid you to return,

and no writing letters, either."

Wait, what?

[PAUL] I sensed that you and Sylphiette were becoming

too reliant on each other.

So I made the call to separate you.

Trust me on this.

[RUDEUS] Damn it, Paul, you'll pay for this.

[PAUL] You'll work and live independently from now on.

Don't forget, this is how you'll earn your tuition.

I can't wait to see the man you become.

Your wise, awe-inspiring father, Paul.

[RUDEUS] You b*at me into submission. How is that "wise"?

It sounds like Paul loves you in his own special way.

"P.S. Feel free to make a move on the young lady

when you get there,

but keep your hands off the strongwoman. She's mine."

Do me a favor and send that letter to Zenith, will you?

Can do.

[RUDEUS] I definitely have my reservations.

But this is fine, right?

Yeah. It'll be great.

I'm worried about Sylphie being alone,

but it's true that she should learn

to solve problems on her own.

She won't grow otherwise.

And Paul's right, I can't depend on her, either.

So this is for the best.

[RUDEUS] Still. I'd like to see her at least once a year.

[RUDEUS] So many beast people.

Ghislaine's the first I've seen,

but maybe they're not that rare in this world.

Thank you.

[door opens]

Hi.

It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Rudeus Greyrat.

In a proper noble greeting,

you should draw back your left foot,

make a circle with your right hand, and bow just slightly.

Kinda like that?

[PHILIP] Yes, that's not bad.

Please, sit.

To business, then, my name is Philip Boreas Greyrat.

The mayor of Roa.

And I'm also your father's cousin.

[RUDEUS] Huh? You gotta be kidding me.

So does that mean that you and I are related?

[PHILIP] Indeed, yes.

[RUDEUS] Ooh. Paul, you scoundrel.

Pulling strings with estranged family, huh?

This is impressive.

I never knew the Greyrats were so high-status.

[PHILIP] So? How much did he tell you?

[RUDEUS] He said that if I educate a young lady here

for five years, you'll help pay for my enrollment

in the University of Magic.

Is that all?

--[RUDEUS] Yes. --Good grief.

Okay, then. I see he hasn't changed.

No matter. Come, I'll introduce you to my daughter.

Then we'll talk.

'Kay.

[PHILIP] I hear you're quite a skilled mage already.

My master deserves all the credit.

You also have your father's charm.

I hope you don't use that to seduce my little girl.

You know I'm only seven, right?

[PHILIP] In case Paul failed to mention,

my daughter is a little "willful."

She only takes to a select few people.

So I don't expect much from you.

But I'll try you out because your father asked me.

Well that was awfully frank of you.

[PHILIP] Think you can handle this?

[RUDEUS] I won't know until I meet her, but...

[knocking]

Eris. I'd like to introduce you to your new tutor.

[RUDEUS] "Intense."

That's my first impression.

My instincts are telling me to get out, fast.

I'm Rudeus Greyrat. It's a pleasure to meet you.

What is a little kid supposed to teach me?

I don't believe that my age is relevant here.

You don't get to disagree with me!

What I mean to say, Miss,

is there are some things I can do that you can't--

[slap]

You're cheeky! Do you even know who I am?

[RUDEUS] My second impression is "violent."

Why did you hit me like that?

[ERIS] You're talking back, even though I'm older!

Now do you understand what it feels like to be hit for n--

[coughs]

[RUDEUS] Oh, come on.

I'll teach you to never raise your hand to me again!

[RUDEUS] W-Wait! Please!

[ERIS gasps]

[RUDEUS] Damn it, Paul. Are you trying to get me k*lled?

Get back here, scum, I'm going to pulverize you!

[RUDEUS] "A little willful"? Don't be ridiculous.

She's no flowery little noble girl.

She's the protagonist of a delinquent manga!

[sighs]

[PHILIP laughs] Well, how did it go?

I've never seen such a vicious creature in all my life--

[PHILIP] Hm?

Rather, I've never had the honor of meeting

such a fiery and passionate young lady.

I imagine you'll now give up and go home?

[RUDEUS] I refuse. To slink back now would be humiliating.

I won't let my father look down on me for this.

Oh, how admirable of you.

All of our previous tutors

had admitted defeat around this point.

So. What's your plan?

I'm not sure yet.

[RUDEUS] Should I b*at her up with magic?

No, that's no good.

b*ating her in a fight won't make her listen.

She's already proven she would pay me back ten-fold!

She'd destroy me, and I can't use healing magic

without incantations yet.

I think I might have an idea.

We could put on a little show to trick her

into studying of her own free will.

Oho. That's fascinating. I'll be happy to help.

[RUDEUS] All right.

In that case, here's what I need you to do.

Goodnight, sir.

[RUDEUS sighs]

[RUDEUS] The plan is set. We'll see what happens.

[RUDEUS] I thought after I d*ed

I would be done with beatings like that.

I have to succeed.

[RUDEUS] Ah. I left the holy relic back home.

Dear Lord. Please.

I really need this to work.

[RUDEUS] They didn't have to be so rough.

[RUDEUS] I kinda figured we would wind up

somewhere cleaner, but oh well.

A little atmosphere never hurt anybody.

Now we'll use my power, wisdom, and courage

to make a daring escape.

I'll win her respect and try forcing her

to see the importance of education.

[RUDEUS laughing]

I see you're finally awake, My Lady.

What the hell is this?

It appears we've been kidnapped

and are now being held c*ptive somewhere.

It's a shame you can't use magic,

otherwise you'd be able to burn through those ropes

and we could escape.

[ERIS] Don't talk nonsense!

Ghislaine! Ghislaine, where are you?

[RUDEUS] Perfect reaction. Now...

[KIDNAPPER A] Shut up!

[RUDEUS] Ooh! Nice choice!

Now she'll never guess this was staged!

I don't know who you think you are, but you're dead!

[KIDNAPPER A] What'd you say?

[RUDEUS] This guy's a natural.

[gasps] You stink, stay away from me!

Any minute now, Ghislaine will--

Looks like you don't know your place!

Mouthy brats like you don't get to hit back.

[RUDEUS] Whoa, might wanna reign that in a little.

[KIDNAPPER A] Creepy little sh*t.

[sighs]

[ERIS whimpering]

You won't get away with this.

I'll tell Grandfather.

Shh.

[RUDEUS] Let this divine power be rich and nourishing,

offering those whose strength has been lost

the strength to rise again.

Healing.

What are you doing?

Just heal me all the way.

[RUDEUS] Not if you're gonna start yelling again.

Use your own magic.

I can't cast anything. I don't know how.

I bet you could do it if you'd studied.

[KIDNAPPER B] Did they shut up yet?

[KIDNAPPER A] Yeah.

Well you didn't k*ll 'em, did you?

We gotta keep 'em in one piece.

They're still breathing for now,

but we can make do with the boy by himself, can't we?

[RUDEUS] Uh, no? I hope they're just good actors,

'cause they're making me really nervous.

I could go ahead and blast them with magic.

But that's risky when I don't know

how strong they are. Besides.

I don't want to show the young lady here

that v*olence is the answer.

Reinforcing that idea is the worst play I can make.

But either way, escaping was always part of the plan.

Sorry, but I don't want to die here, so I'm leaving. Bye.

Hang on! What about me?

[KIDNAPPER A] I told you to shut up! Hey, it won't open!

See ya.

[gasps] Hey, don't leave yet.

You could always try to b*at them up

like you did with me yesterday.

You can come.

If you promise not to yell or hit me.

Whatever, just get me out of here.

[RUDEUS] Do you promise?

--Damn it! --I got this.

[KIDNAPPERS gasp]

To the body: X-Healing.

Okay! We're safe now, so take me home!

You just said you wouldn't do that anymore, remember?

I shouldn't have to keep a stupid promise

to someone like you!

[RUDEUS] Argh, she's a nightmare.

If that's how you feel about it, then this is where we part.

Good luck.

[ERIS] Hmph.

[KIDNAPPER A] Where'd you go? Get out here, you little shits!

[ERIS] I-I was only kidding around.

I won't shout anymore.

You already lied to me once,

so how am I supposed to trust you?

Uh, because I mean it this time.

As long as you're willing to do exactly what I say,

you can come.

[RUDEUS] Looks like we're still pretty close to Roa.

[ERIS] I can't read that.

[RUDEUS] Reading comes in handy. This has the coach fares, too.

So if you knew math,

you could prob'ly get back on your own.

Why should I have to when you can do it for me?

With all due respect, I'm not your servant or anything.

I thought you were my new tutor.

I'm actually not.

[ERIS gasps]

[RUDEUS] You said you didn't like me, My Lady,

so they didn't hire me.

[BOTH gasp]

[BOTH sigh]

[RUDEUS] We've made it back to Roa, My Lady.

We should be safe now.

Yes. I guess so.

[RUDEUS] All that adrenaline's petered out, huh?

That plan went off the rails a little,

but we're both still here.

If nothing else, at least she respects me more.

Or she should.

Hey, you work at the manor!

Hold it!

[KIDNAPPER A] What do you want, turd?

Keep your nose out of this and you can go home.

Let go of me at once--

I would ask that you please return the girl to me.

[THOMAS] No can do.

I'm afraid we have to send Lady Eris away,

but it will make us all very rich.

[ERIS gasps]

[KIDNAPPER B] But hey, we could use that magic of yours.

If you wanna help us out, we'll give you a cut.

And exactly how much would that be?

How does a hundred gold coins sound to ya?

I dunno. Would that pay for two enrollments

at the University of Magic?

[laughs] No question.

It could pay for ten with plenty of gold left over.

Well, in that case.

It is a tempting offer.

[THOMAS] That little girl has gone out of her way

to make my life a living hell.

If you become her tutor, she'll do the same to you.

Even at your age,

you gotta know this is one hell of a deal.

If you do, raise that hand nice and slow.

I do. But I also understand

that some things are far more valuable than money.

[KIDNAPPER B] Cut the sh*t, kid!

These aren't just pretty words.

[RUDEUS] It's weird, but true.

This is the first time I've ever had to worry about money at all.

I spent half my old life engrossed in

erotic visual novels and MMOs.

And experiencing those stories taught me

what betraying this young lady would mean,

and what saving her now could lead to. Because...

[RUDEUS] Money can't buy waifus!

Huh?

[RUDEUS] Did not mean to say that out loud.

[THOMAS] What the hell?

[KIDNAPPER A] sh*t!

[RUDEUS grunts]

[KIDNAPPER B] Damn it!

That does it!

[KIDNAPPER A screams]

[RUDEUS] Sorry, Lady!

Oh, come on.

Tricky little--

[RUDEUS] Yes! I win.

You're not getting away!

[RUDEUS] This isn't desperation.

Paul taught me.

The North God Style has sword-throwing techniques!

It's Ghislaine! You found me!

[GHISLAINE] Hey, Rudeus.

Rudeus.

Rudeus!

Were there only two of them?

There were three.

Thank you for coming for us.

[GHISLAINE] I wanted to see what that expl*si*n was.

Glad I did.

What in the hell happened to you?

I heard you two went out, but...

No. Not Ghislaine.

[ERIS sighs]

Eris, dear!

You've come back awfully late. [gasps]

What happened?

Lord Philip, this is a misunderstanding!

It's not what it looks like!

I very much doubt. Take him away.

Lord Philip, please forgive me!

You can't do this! Lord Philip, please!

Are you hurt? Come on, let's--

I only promised to wait until we made it back home.

So I can talk now, right?

Of course. Yes, it's fine now, My Lady.

[RUDEUS] I guess I failed.

Well, that's what I get.

I was in over my head and needed rescuing myself.

I wouldn't respect me, either.

I almost d*ed.

Without Ghislaine, I'd be gone for sure.

And I haven't even considered

what's going to happen to me if I die again...

[ERIS] Hold it!

I've decided I'll give you special permission

to call me "Eris"!

So you should feel quite honored!

Huh? You're saying it's okay for me to stay here?

Are you gonna let me be your tutor?

[gasps] I really do appreciate that, Lady Eris.

It's just "Eris"! Drop the "Lady"!

[RUDEUS] I wonder if I earned some affection points

with her after all.

Or if she plans to exact her revenge when I least expect it.

[RUDEUS] Eh, time will tell.

But for now, it might be nice to celebrate

landing my first ever job.