04x11 - Roller Coaster

[bunniefuu]

WOMAN: Are you ready?

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ I know you see me
standing here ♪

♪ Do I look good,
my dear? ♪

♪ Do I look good today? ♪

♪ Today, today ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪

♪ I'm just another
kind of girl ♪

♪ And you want
to see my world ♪

♪ So come and run away ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ If you wanna play ♪

♪ Come and play today ♪

♪ Let's just get away, yeah ♪

♪ I will make you see ♪

♪ All of the things ♪

♪ That you can be ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ Come follow me ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

[laid-back music]

♪ ♪

MR. BERRINGER: And so
gravitational potential energy

is proportional
to height and mass.

For example,

raising two similar objects

or the same object twice as far

doubles the potential energy

as expressed by...

Why do I feel like Quinn
is the only one who cares?

- Even I don't care.

MR. BERRINGER: Oh.

I'm a boring teacher.

- No.
- Not at all.

- Yeah, you aren't boring.

- I knew, I shouldn't have been
a physics teacher.

I wanted to work at the zoo.

- When's lunch?

- It's 8:30 in the morning.

- Look, we wouldn't be so bored
if you could relate physics

to something that isn't so--

you know?

Insanely boring.

- Right...

like a water-driven turbine

or a Tesla coil, hmm.

[all murmuring]

What is a roller toaster?
- Coaster.

Oh, oh, right, right.

Roller coasters.

MR. BERRINGER:
Yes, yes, roller coasters

are all about the principles
of physics.

You see, when the cars
are at top of a tall hill,

they have potential energy.

- Mr. Berringer, if I may?

Instead of talking
about roller coasters,

don't you feel we can learn more
about physics

by actually riding one?

- Yes.
- Keep talking handsome.

JAMES: In the spirit of physics,

I suggest this entire class

take a field trip
to Mystic Mountain.

- Yeah.

- Well, I--I'm not sure
if we should--

- Yes, you are.
- But I--

- Awesome.

- We're all going
on a roller coaster.

- Okay!

[all cheering]

♪ ♪

- What's up?
- Hey.

- Didn't I have a hamburger?

- I'm having fruit.

- Hey.
LOGAN: What's up?

LOGAN: Hi, guys.

- You guys see
a hamburger anywhere?

- No.
- I don't think so.

LOGAN: It's so weird.

I went through the lunch line,

I put a hamburger on my tray.

- Found ya.
- Hey, lil' Lisa.

- Hey, I heard our yoga class
this afternoon was cancelled.

- Yeah, Ms. Dangle
rode her bike into a tree.

- Isn't that, like,
the third time she's done that?

- Anybody lose a hamburger?

I found this in the fountain.

- Yeah, I think that's mine.

- Michael,
can I borrow your Kn*fe?

Michael?

- Michael.

- Yeah, yeah.
[chuckles]

I love you too, baby.

- I asked if I could borrow
your Kn*fe.

- Yeah, I heard you.

- So how was physics?
ZOEY: Good.

We're gonna take a field trip
to Mystic Mountain

and ride a roller coaster
so we can study kinetic--

- Can we stop talking
about roller coasters already?

- That was the first time I--

- I don't know
why we can't just eat lunch

without me hearing
roller coasters,

roller coasters, roller
coasters, roller coasters.

I don't remember signing up

for the roller coaster
lunch club.

- Michael, what's wrong?

- Nothing. Good-bye.

- What was that about?

- You're his girlfriend,
you tell us.

- Maybe he's--
- I'm afraid.

I'm afraid of roller coasters.

I have been
ever since I was little.

I don't wanna go
to Mystic Mountain.

- Oh, Michael.

- There's nothing
to be afraid of.

- Roller coasters
are totally safe.

- What a nub.
- You see?

I knew he'd do that.
I knew he'd make fun of me.

- Stop it.
- Yeah.

- And if you tell anyone else--

- He won't.
LOGAN: Yeah.

Why would I want people to know

my roommate's basically
a three-year-old girl?

[laughs]

- Hey. Hey.

Did you forget the secret code?

- What secret code?

Oh, oh, she's biting my ear!

LOGAN: She's biting my ear.
She's biting my ear.

Oh, oh, she's biting my ear.

♪ ♪

- I hate seeing you this upset.

- I'm not upset, I'm happy.

- Why?

- Because Lola
made Logan's earlobe bleed.

I enjoyed that.

- Are you sure
you're not upset?

- No.

I'm embarrassed.

- Well, don't be.
- Come on.

Do you know what it's like

being a 16-year-old guy
who's afraid of roller coasters?

- Michael.

- What?

- Everyone has silly things
they're scared of.

- Okay.
What are you scared of?

- I'd be scared
if I were tied up

and thrown into a cage
with hungry tigers.

- Well, that makes sense.

You're scared of hungry tigers.

And I'm scared
of an amusement park ride

that makes little children
go "whee!"

MAN:
♪ So you're made of diamond ♪

♪ I'm made of glass ♪

[students snickering]

BOY: Look, there he is.
That's Michael.

He's scared of roller coasters.

- Hey, Michael,
what you drinking?

- Blix.
- Wow, pretty brave.

- What do you mean?

- You know, fruity drinks
can be scary.

[both laughing]

- Hey, can I get next game?

- You're gonna play pool?

- Yeah, so?
- Pool?

Big sticks, balls moving around?

Thought that might be
a little too scary for you.

[both laughing]

- Hey, Michael, here.

- What's this?

- A teddy bear night light

in case you get scared
of the dark.

[both laughing]

BOTH: Whoa.

♪ ♪

- No, I swear, roller coasters.

I know, he's 16 years old

and the dude's afraid
of roller--

Ah!
WOMAN: Logan.

- You told everybody

that I'm afraid
of roller coasters.

- James, I think
he's about to k*ll me.

Little help.
- Hang on.

I'm organizing this playlist.

[dramatic music]

- Hey, you think a duck
would make a good pet?

- A duck?
- Yeah.

- I doubt it.

- Yeah, me too.

[cell phone ringing]

- Hello?

Firewire?

How did you get my number?

What?
- What?

- Michael's torturing Logan.

We'll be right there.

No, I won't go out with you.

Come on.

- Okay!

Wait.

What if you could train a duck
to use a litter box?

- [scoffs]

LOGAN: Ah. Quit it. Let me go.

- Whoa--
- Holy--

- Go away, I'm busy.

- Ow. Help me.

- Why are you doing this?

- 'Cause that nub
told half of PCA

that I'm afraid
of roller coasters.

- Why'd you have to do that?

- The people
have a right to know.

That one went in my mouth.

- Okay, this is insane.

James, why aren't you
doing anything?

- I am.

I'm making you
a really cool playlist.

- Aww.

- Can I?
- Please.

- Oww.

- Lola.

- He deserves it
for making me a laughingstock

in my own school.

- But this isn't the way
to handle it.

- I think I'm starting
to lose consciousness.

- If you're so worried
about people finding out

that you're afraid
of roller coasters,

then get unafraid,
get over it.

- How?
- You have to face your fear.

- You know she's right.

- Ow.

- Let him down.

- Okay.

- Ow.

♪ ♪

MICHAEL: I don't like this.

I don't like this one bit.

- You're perfectly safe.

- It's just a Hickenbackker
G-force turbo chair.

- Yeah, just your everyday

Hickenbackker
G-force turbo chair.

- It's used to help
astronauts and fighter pilots

experience the feelings

of high-speed vertical
and lateral movements.

- Look, I just wanna go
back to my dorm, lie down,

and experience my head
on my pillow.

- You should be happy
about this.

- It's gonna cure your fear.

- Without going
on a real roller coaster.

- You might even have fun.

- If it's gonna be fun,

then why did Lola lock my wrist
down to the chair?

- Do you think a duck
would make a good pet?

- A duck?
What do ducks have to do with--

- Okay, Michael,
you just relax,

while I create the effects
for real roller coaster.

Lola, blindfold him.

- Why do I have
to be blindfolded?

- It helps you
block out reality

and focus on the feelings.

- Michael, look out.

- What? What?
- Kidding.

- Okay, we'll start
with some basic easy movements.

- See, you're fine, right?

- Yeah, yeah, I guess.

- Okay, now,
as the speed and intensity

of the roller coaster increases,
you'll hear the sounds

and feel the wind on your face.

- I hate speed and intensity.

- You're doing great.

- Okay.

Now the roller coaster's
gonna get a little more intense.

- Why must it get more intense?

- Hang in there, buddy.

- [muttering]

QUINN: Okay.

Now imagine you're climbing.

Climbing.

Almost at the top of the hill...

QUINN: And...

wheeee.

ALL: Wheeee.

[screams]

- Ahh!

I hate it! I hate it!
I hate it! I hate it!

Pull the plug! Pull the plug!

- Turn it off!

MICHAEL: Pull the plug.
Pull the plug.

Pull the plug. Pull the plug.

[sobbing]

[screaming]

- Michael!
- Stop!

- He'll stop.
- Yeah, there's a fence.

- No!

Ow.

MAN: ♪ Here we go ♪

[upbeat music]

♪ But I can't fall ♪

- In 1616, Sir Walter Raleigh
was released

from the Tower of London

in order to conduct
a second expedition

to the what river?

- Here's my feeling
on the whole

roller coaster situation.

- Okay.

- So I'm afraid
of roller coasters.

So?
- Yeah, so?

- Doesn't make me a bad person.
- Of course not.

- It's not like
I'm a street thug or bank robber

or person who downloads music
illegally, right?

- Honestly, I never cared

if you were afraid
of roller coasters or not.

- Swear?

- Swear.
- Well, see?

That's all that matters.

I don't care
what other people think.

If you will still love me
and my grandma still loves me,

and I'm still attractive--
- [screams]

- What? What?

- [screaming]

Millie. Millie.

Millie, come here, come here.

- What's wrong?
- There's a spider right there.

Look, see it?

- There. All dead.

- Thanks.
- Sure.

See you in yoga tomorrow.

- Okay. Bye.

What?

- Why didn't you ask me
to get the spider?

I'm your boyfriend
and I'm sitting right here.

- Oh, well.
You looked so comfortable,

I didn't wanna bother you?

- You think I'm a wimp.

- I don't think you're a wimp.

- Yes, you do.
- I don't.

- Then why didn't you ask me?

- Well--

- I was sitting right here
and instead you went and got

a 85-pound little girl
named Millie.

- Don't get upset.

- You think just 'cause
I'm afraid of roller coasters,

I'm not manly.

Well, then, I gotta go.

- Michael, don't go,

you're very manly.

Come on.
Come kiss me.

- Kiss Millie.

♪ ♪

- Hey.

Biscotti?

- No, thanks.

I'll just eat my puddin'.

- I really think
you're overreacting.

MICHAEL: No, I'm not.

Lisa thinks I'm a wimp.

- So she didn't ask you
to k*ll the spider.

Why is that so bad?

- 'Cause it means
she doesn't respect me.

And I don't blame her.

Who respects big wimps?

- Little wimps.
[laughs]

- Don't joke right now, Zoey.

At least I'm not afraid
of puddin'.

- Okay, Michael,

you're really starting
to get on my nerves.

- What did I do?

- You think
you're the only person

who's afraid of something?

You're not.

Everybody's afraid of something.

And you are a wimp.

- I knew it.

- No, not 'cause you're scared
of roller coasters,

'cause you're scared
to deal with it.

- I tried facing my fear.

I ended up running
through a wood fence.

- So try again.

And this time try for real.

- So you're saying for real?

[ominous music]

♪ ♪

I can't believe I'm doing this.

- You wanna back out?

- No. No way.

I can't lose Lisa.

I'm gonna do it.

[phone rings]

Coco's cousin?

- Yup. Hey.

Yeah, we're here.

Employee entrance. Okay.

He's on his way.

- And you swear there won't be
anyone else in the park.

- It's 7:00 in the morning.

They don't open for three hours.

MAN: Hey, hey.

- Hi.
- How are you doing?

- Remember when I wore
the wedding dress

and scared the snot out of you?

- Yes, I do.

- [laughing]
Oh, yeah.

- Thank you.

That's very nice.

- So can he ride
the Spine Twister?

- Yup. I got her all juiced up
and ready to roll.

- And it's safe, right?
- Eh.

- Zoey?
- Yes, it's safe. Jeez.

Rent a sense of humor,
would you?

Come on.

Okay, you comfortable?

- No.

- Oh, well.

- You're doing fine.

- If you say so.

[machinery starting up]

- You ready?

- No! No! Let me off!

Let me off this thing!

- Oh, what a nub.

- Michael, you can do it.

MICHAEL: No, I mean it.

Get me out of this thing.

I'm not doing it.

Zoey, if you don't come
over here

and get me out of this--

Who told you I was coming here?

Zoey, you swore nobody else
would be here.

- You don't have to do it.

I love you,
whether you're scared or not.

You don't have to do this.

♪ ♪

- Pull the lever.

♪ ♪

- [laughing]

MICHAEL: Face your fear.
I can do it.

I can face it.

I'm the little Michael
that could.

MICHAEL: I think I can.
I think I can.

I think I can. I think I can.
I think I can.

I think I can.
I think I can.

I think I can. I think I can.
I think I can.

I think I can.
I think I can.

Oh, sweet mother molasses.

I'm gonna die!

[screaming]

MICHAEL: Oh, yeah!

Whoo-hoo!

Oh, yeah!

- You had enough?

MICHAEL: No, keep it going.

Yeah!

Whoo-hoo! Yeah. Yeah.

Whoo!

Yeah. Whoo!
Yeah.

Yes, yes, yes!

Hey, can this thing
go any faster?

Whoo!
Yeah!

Yeah, baby! Whoo-hoo!

♪ ♪

- One, two.
You guys hear me okay?

[all cheering]

Excellent.

- Yeah.
- Okay.

Continuing with our tradition
of PCA's Saturday afternoon

campus concerts,
let them hear you.

[cheers and applause]

[guitar music]

- ♪ Through the years gone by ♪

♪ I had dreams ♪

♪ Of what I could be ♪

♪ I made a wish to the sky ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Tell me what ♪

♪ You have planned for me ♪

♪ Every other day of my life ♪

♪ I want to be in the light ♪

♪ ♪

♪ And when the stage
is my home ♪

♪ I will know ♪

♪ That with song
I can be on my own ♪

♪ My words ♪

♪ They will fill the mouths ♪

♪ Of everyone in the crowd ♪

♪ I wake
from this endless sleep ♪

♪ It's the vision that I ♪

♪ It's the vision
that I want to keep ♪

♪ ♪

- Hey, there they are.

[duck quacking]

- Come on, mister duck,
this way.

That's a sweet boy.

You know, I think someone
has some corn in his future.

- So where have you been
all day?

- Just helping a friend.

- I think it's okay
to tell them now.

- Michael?
- What?

You helped him
with his roller coaster phobia?

- We did.

- So he's not scared
of them anymore?

- I'd say no.

- Yeah. I think he's over it.

- Cool.
- Where is he?

♪ ♪

MICHAEL: Whoo! Yeah! Whoo!

Yeah.

Whoo! Whoo!

Yeah!

Yes, yes, yes!

MICHAEL: Whoo-hoo!

Hey, can't this thing
go any faster?

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Yeah, baby!

- ♪ Of everyone in the crowd ♪

♪ I wake
from this endless sleep ♪

♪ It's the vision that I ♪

♪ It's the vision
that I want to keep ♪

♪ ♪

[cheers and applause]

MICHAEL: Yeah!

Whoo! Yes!

Whoo-hoo! Yeah!

WOMAN: ♪ If you wanna play ♪

♪ Come and play today ♪

♪ Let's just get away, yeah ♪

♪ I will make you see ♪

♪ All of the things ♪

♪ That you can be ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ Come follow me ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

[bell dings]
MAN: Mmm!

LOGAN: What a nub.