03x05 - Operation B.U.T.T./Operation T.R.A.I.N.I.N.G.

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Codename: Kids Next Door". Aired: December 6, 2002 – January 21, 2008.*
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Show revolves around a group of five 10-year-old kids (later retconned to be varying ages), using codenames Numbuhs 1 through 5, who are the main home operatives of what is known as Sector V, which is part of a worldwide espionage-style organization called the Kids Next Door.
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03x05 - Operation B.U.T.T./Operation T.R.A.I.N.I.N.G.

Post by bunniefuu »

You can't do this!

I'm your leader!

We don't care.

You're going!

Please, you don't have to...

Ahh!

We could go on a mission

Together.

Yeah, that'll be fun, huh?

No can do, numbah 1.

Look at him!

He won't last 10 minutes

Out there!

You guys hush.

It has to be done.

[ Gasps ]

[ Crying ]

Have fun, old friend.

[ Gasps ]

Ahhhhhhhh!

[ Crying ]

Goodbye, numbah 1.

[ Bell tolls ]

Ahhhhhhh!

[ Gasps ]

[ Growls ]

You know I hate the beach!

You've been working too hard,

So we're making you take a day

Off whether you like it or not.

It's for your own good!

Have fun?

Mission are fun.

Splashing around

Like a stupid baby

- In a stupid ocean - is boring.

Nothing cool ever happens

At the beach.

[ Sighs ] maybe I'll go get an

Ice-cream cone or... Whoa!

[ Gasps ]

[ Speaking indistinctly ]

Ahhhhhh!

[ Gasps, coughs ]

[ Sighing ] oh.

What the...

My... My... My trunks!

Where... Where are my trunks?!

- They've got to be - here somewhere.

[ Laughter ]

Oh, no.

N-n-n-no. No.

[ Air horn blares ]

Oh, the kid's got no shorts on!

[ Chuckles nervously ]

Hey, everybody, there's

Something over there!

- Where? - Where?

Hey, look at that kid yelling

And pointing!

Hey, look at his butt!

That's it.

I've got to get out of here.

Hmm.

Now there's an idea.

Wait for it.

Now!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Whew!

[ Laughs ]

Aaah!

[ Grunting ]

Ahhh.

Huh?

[ Humming ]

- Yeah, come on, come on, - that's it.

- Come on, baby. - Come on, come on.

I hope numbah 1's at least

Having some fun.

No sweat.

I'm sure he's having a blast.

Hey, numbah 2,

How are you so sure

Numbah 1 won't just leave

And come back here?

Impossible.

I planted a 2x4 technology bug

In his shorts.

Thank you.

If he left, I would know.

Yay!

I win! I win!

I'm bad! Whoo!

[ Door closes ]

Hmm, must have been the wind.

[ Pants, groans ]

So, when you say

He'll thank us,

Do you think he'll give us

Presents?

[ Door opens, closes ]

Back already?

Oh, he's good.

What did you bring me?

What did you bring me?

Fellow kids next door members,

It has been an honor to battle

Adult tyranny

Alongside such brave warriors.

A kitten... Did you get me

A kitten, huh?

Did ya? Did ya? Huh?

So, it is with a heavy heart

That I must resign

From the kids next door,

Effective immediately.

Oh, I know, I know!

You brought me a ferret!

Oh, they're so cute

And wriggly!

Hold up.

So we made you go

To the stupid beach.

That's not bad enough

For you to just quit.

This is a private matter,

Numbah 5.

I'm sorry.

Dude, you can't just quit!

Watch me.

Ahhhh!

If he had to leave the room,

It's got to be something big!

- [ Gasps ] - like a pony!

Oh, no, you dolt!

Numbah 1 just quit the team!

He's not getting you a pony!

He's not getting you anything!

He's... G-gone!

J-a-w-n, gone.

- Don't you get it? - [ Crying ]

[ Sniffles ]

Wahhhhh!

Okay, we've got it.

[ Sobbing continues ]

[ Speaking indistinctly ]

Hmm.

Something just doesn't

Fit here.

Ooh, don't cry, little girl.

Mr. Flopsy... Wants you to turn

That frown upside down,

Or, uh, or he might leave.

Oh, wait.

Guys, look what I found

In numbah 1's room!

Let me see that.

"Leave your team behind

Or we'll put your behind

In the school yearbook."

What does that mean?

I have no idea.

Oh, oh, no!

Is that nigel's heinie?

Wow, that is one big butt!

Oh, let me see.

Wow!

Ho ho ho ho!

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Wow!

Wowee!

Where did they get

A camera big enough

To capture all that tushie?!

[ Laughs ]

Come on, guys.

This isn't funny.

We got to do something.

Yeah.

We've got to get

To the bottom of this.

[ Laughter ]

Now, come on, guys.

That is not gonna fit

In the yearbook.

Unless they put a big section

In the rear.

[ Laughter ]

Okay, okay.

Now, come on, guys.

If I were numbuh 1, I'd just

Turn the other cheek.

[ Laughter ]

[ Laughs ]

I mean, I hate for him to be

The butt of the joke.

[ Laughter ]

[ Doorbell rings ]

You're despicable.

Together: [ monotone ]

Thank you, nigel.

Won't you come in?

And we'll discuss the terms

Of your surrender.

Now, if you'd be kind enough

To step into the

Delightfulization chamber.

Delightfulization chamber?

That wasn't part of the deal.

- Oh. - Oh. Oh.

Oh.

We're fairly certain you'll

Agree to anything we say.

The negatives.

Hyah!

Typical nigel.

Always a chase before we defeat

And humiliate you.

You won't catch me

With my pants down again.

Aah!

You see, nigel, your big behind

Gives us a big advantage.

The bigger it is,

The easier it is to kick.

[ Gasps ]

Hyah!

What?

[ All gasp ]

Rainbow-monkey undies!

[ Laughter ]

This is almost better

Than your butt sh*t.

Robocrabs,

sh**t him on our mark.

Ready...

Aim...

Fire!

[ Camera shutter clicks ]

All right, delightful dopes.

You can try and mess with our

Friend, but I wouldn't.

And that's a big "but."

Five big butts.

[ Laughter ]

[ All gasp ]

Ah, much better.

Thanks, guys.

You aren't still gonna quit,

Are you?

Negative, numbuh 4.

I don't have to now

That I've got these back.

Those are the negatives?

Yeah, how can such a huge tushy

Fit on that teeny piece of film?

Guys, now, come on.

Nigel's had a big day.

Not as big as his butt.

[ Laughter ]

Come on, guys.

- I just want to put this whole - thing behind me.

Well, you got enough room

For it back there.

[ Laughter ]

Funny, guys.

That's very funny.

Aw, come on, come on!

Knock him down!

Come on!

[ Speaking indistinctly ]

Yay! I win, I win.

I'm bad, I'm bad.

Whoo!

[ Laughter ]

Come on, guys.

It's beach time.

You're kidding, right?

Yesterday I realized that we may

Not be a team forever,

So I want to spend as much

Of the time we do have

Hanging out with you guys.

[ Speaking indistinctly ]

Besides, this time,

I'm prepared.

Good morning!

My name is numbuh 60,

And welcome, cadets, to the kids

Next door arctic training base.

With 42 levels

Of training equipment,

This facility is second only

To our moon base in importance,

- Especially - with the recent addition

Of our top-security vault,

Which contains the kids

Next door code module.

So, cadets next door,

Sonia, tommy, and lee,

Any questions?

- Ooh! I have one. - Yes, tommy.

I know numbuh 1.

- That is not a question, - tommy.

Oh! Oh!

And numbuh 2 is my brother.

- I even have - all their autographs

- From when we went - on a mission together.

Back in line, cadet!

Being a kids next door operative

Is serious business,

So get ready for a level-one

Adult-att*ck simulation.

Simulation?

But I don't want to do

A simulation.

Don't be such a baby.

They're just simulations...

You know, games.

Oh, is the simulation kind

Of like hopscotch?

Yeah, right, hopscotch.

Whatever.

[ Alarm blaring ]

Attention all kids next door

Operatives.

[ Speaking indistinctly ]

Father is...

att*ck of kids next door

Moon base.

Please help!

Father.

Attention kids next door

Arctic command.

All hands to defend moon base.

This is not a simulation.

Yay!

We get to fight

Adult tyranny.

Let's go.

Negatory, tommy.

You're still cadets.

But I've been

On a mission before.

But you've never faced father.

You three just stay here and

Don't touch anything.

To the moon!

What are we waiting for?

Let's turn on that simulation.

But numbuh 60 said not

To touch anything.

Come on, sonia.

It's just a simulation.

[ Alarm blaring ]

Are you sure you know how to

Work this thing?

Um, of course I do.

Children, I am an adult.

Go do your homework.

- Okay, okay! - I'm going.

No.

Fair enough.

I tried.

Welcome to level two.

I-i-it's dark.

I-i-i don't like the dark.

Tommy, this simulation

Is scaring me.

Relax, sonia.

It's just a game,

Like, uh, hopscotch.

Follow me.

Cool!

I'm not sure about this.

See? Nothing to it.

Well, I'm glad it's all over.

Maybe simulations aren't so bad,

Especially not with you guys.

Aah!

Hey, this is level three.

We've spotted some brats,

And we're moving in.

Level three?

Come on.

[ Panting ]

Aah!

Come on, sonia.

It's just a game, remember?

That's just it.

I don't think this is a game.

[ Gasps ]

That's father.

What are we gonna do?

Why don't you just come quietly?

[ Evil laughter ]

Well, well, well.

What have we here?

The runts of the litter.

I'd watch yourself

If I were you.

This place is crawling with

Kids next door operatives

Specifically trained

To kick your butt.

Ooh! I'd be really scared

If any operatives were here.

Oh, help,

Kids next door arctic base.

Father is here,

And he's so evil.

[ Laughs evilly ]

[ Clears throat ]

By the time all the real

Kids next door operatives

Realize they've been fooled,

It'll be too late.

I will have retrieved

Your precious code module

And destroyed everything else,

Including you.

Cool!

Lee!

Yes, you say "cool,"

But it's about to get

Very hot!

Dripping, lousy...

Toss these annoyances

Into a terribly scary, dark,

Little room.

Dark room?!

No! Anything but that!

Please! No! No!

Anything but that!

Search this place

For any more brats.

I'm going to get my prize.

Yes!

Once I possess the code module,

My glorious plan can commence.

Well, what are

You waiting for?!

Open that door!

[ Grunting ]

It's locked.

Oh, really?

Guess we'll just have to pack up

And go... Of course it's locked!

[ Sighs ]

Just go!

[ Crying ]

And you can forget about

A christmas bonus, pal!

If you want something

Done right...

[ Laughs evilly ]

But I don't want to go

In the dark room.

I'm afraid of the dark.

Let me go!

Come on, kid, quit it.

Ow!

What's the matter, phil?

A little girl giving you

Trouble?

She's really a handful.

No!

I won't go!

Uh-oh.

[ Indistinct shouting ]

No, please! Stop!

Oh, there goes my tooth!

Aah!

[ Groaning ]

What?

I don't like the dark.

Come on.

Let's get out of here.

Huh?

He...

Hmm?

Phew!

Quick! Let's go!

But why does he have

To be so mean?

I was just trying

To open the door,

And he goes and yells at me.

I think they're gone.

Hey, look.

Escape pods.

We're saved!

Cool!

Come on, sonia.

Let's get out of here.

You said you wanted

To fight adult tyranny.

I heard that the code module

Contains information

On every kids next door

Operative.

Who knows what father could do

With information like that?

Now's your chance to stop him.

Now's our chance.

What are you, nuts?

Did you see the flames

On that guy?

And then he was all...

And, and...

[ Sighs ]

You're right.

So what do you say

We fight fire with fire?

[ Grunting ]

Oh, the mission is complete.

Return to the ship

For departure.

- Oh! - Oh!

But we haven't finished

Destroying the base yet.

Hey, I don't make the rules.

I just follow them.

I heard that.

[ Laughs ]

Ha-ha, suckers!

Almost there.

[ Laughs evilly ]

Hey, fire face!

Huh?!

Looking for this

Code module thingy?

Aaah!

Where did you get that?!

[ Panting ]

Ugh!

[ Growls ]

[ Laughs evilly ]

Finally I possess

The code mod...

Wait a second.

This is an autograph book.

Ooh, signed by numbuh 362.

Now that's rare.

Hey, matchstick!

Huh?

Remember when I said this base

Is filled with operatives

Ready to kick your butt?

I was talking

About us cadets.

Yeah!

Uh-oh!

[ Gasping ]

Does anyone know

When father's supposed to...

Aaah!

Aaah!

Aaah! Aaah!

[ Groans ]

Hyah!

So, what do you say

To that, lee?

That was most invigorating.

So, how was the moon base?

Nothing but a false alarm.

Hey!

What happened?

Nothing.

Just a simulation.

Can we do another?



♪ Kids next door

♪ Kids next door

[ Electric guitar solo ]

♪ Kids next door

♪ Kids next door

♪ Kids next door

[ Electric guitar solo ]

♪ Kids next door

♪ Kids next door
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