04x05 - Operation C.A.K.E.D.-F.O.U.R.

[bunniefuu]

- As you all know, the

Delightful children from down

- The lane's birthday is coming - up.

- All: blagh! Boo!

- And that means they'll have a

Birthday cake that's even more

- Tastylicious than the last - one...

- Yeah! Whoo!

- Which they won't share

With anyone.

- Blagh! Boo!

- But the kids next door are

Going to stop them.

- Yeah! Whoo-hoo!

- And that's why tomorrow,

We're going to use our super,

Ultimate, best plan ever to get

That cake!

- Um, did you say tomorrow?

- Yes.

Tomorrow's the delightful

Children's birthday, so tomorrow

We have to get that cake.

- Uh, can't... Tomorrow's

Toobathon.

- Yeah! Whoo!

- You can't be serious.

You'd rather go on that stupid

Inner tube river race than on a

Mission?

- Well, duh!

This is the year that me and

Betsy take home first place!

- Betsy?

- Are you still using that old - patched-up excuse for an inner

Tube?

- It would be wise not to make

Fun of betsy.

- [ Laughs ]

It'd be wise for you to get a

real tube, so you don't come in

Dead-last place like you do

Every year! [ Laughs ]

In fact, it'd be wise for all of

You to keep out of me and

Tubezilla's way this year!

- Excuse me.

And how are you gonna b*at me?

- You!?

You couldn't tube your way

Across a bathtub!

- Oh, yeah, mister concrete

Shorts?

You can barely even swim.

- You want to see tubing?

I'll show you tubing!

[ All arguing ]

- Stop it!

You guys should be ashamed of

Yourselves, fighting like that.

That's not what toobathon is

About.

It's about the love of the

Sport.

It's about the sacred traditions

Of summertime.

It's about me leaving you

Slow-poke losers in the dust!

- Would you guys...

[ Beeping ]

- Warning... Incoming

Projectile.

- Look out!

- Together: [monotone] hello,

Kids next door.

I'm sure you're all very busy

Planning a mission to steal our

Unbelievably delicious birthday

Cake.

Well, forget it!

This year, we're giving it away.

- Yeah, right.

What did you do, lick it first?

- Not a bad idea.

But we assure you, this year's

Cake will be the most

Yummylicious ever.

And all you have to do to get

It is win toobathon.

- Now you're talking,

Delightful drips!

We'll win that cake and make

Sure everyone gets a piece

Except you.

- Speak for yourself.

When I win toobathon, I'm

Gonna eat the whole cake in one

Bite.

- The only thing you're gonna

Be eating is numbuh 5's wake.

[ All arguing ]

- Good luck, kids next dumb.

[ Evil laughter ]

- Ladies and gentlemen and

Inner tube enthusiasts

Everywhere... It happens once a

Year.

The chance for one kid, one

Tuber, one true competitor to

Win the tube race that all other

Tube races aspire to be.

I'm talking about toobathon,

An anything-goes race made all

The sweeter this year by the

Delightful children's offering

Of their superlicious birthday

Cake as first prize.

A race that anyone can win.

Anyone except

Hoagie p. Gilligan.

- Hey!

Listen, you.

My dad taught me a word that the

Germans use that describes just

What this race is about.

No fancy tricks, no gimmicks,

Just the perfect melding between

Kid and tube, into one perfect

Racing machine.

And that word is...

Farfegtubing!

So, set the table at the finish

Line, chump, 'cause that's where

You'll be eating your words!

- Farfegtubing, indeed.

Inspiring words from a kid who

Hasn't a clue.

- Man, let's get this tube

Started!

- Greetings, fellow

Competitors... Ah!

- Look at that thing.

You can practically smell how

Bad it is.

- [ Laughs ] I don't get you,

Numbuh 2.

You could build the coolest,

Fastest tube ever.

But you just keep using that old

Thing.

- Yeah, you'll never win the

Cake riding that.

- I told you, it's not about

The cake.

My dad won the very first

Toobathon and every single race

After it, using betsy.

He proved that real tubing is

About the trust between you and

Your tube.

- It's about... - Attention, all toobathon

Tubers!

Please, approach the starting

Line.

- Now, if you'll excuse me,

Betsy and I have a date

With destiny.

All right, betsy, let's do this

Thing.

- Well, well, well.

What a pathetic piece of flabby

Garbage that is.

- You won't be laughing at my

Tube at the victory party,

Delightful dorks.

- Tube?

We were talking about you!

[ All laugh ]

- Tubers and competitors,

Are you ready to race?

- All: yeah!

- Then, on your marks...

Get set...

And...

- Hey!

They're not allowed to start

.0347 seconds early.

- Oh, we're sorry.

Let's try that again.

On your marks...

Get set...

Bye-bye!

- Oh!

- Farfegtubing!

- [ All cheering ]

- Whoo-hoo!

Yee haw!

Ahh!

Oh, sure.

I could've built one that flies,

But I've got something better.

I've got farfeg...

[ Sputtering ]

Whoa!

Ha ha!

Victory, here we come!

- [ Evil laughter ]

Make way for tubezilla, losers!

Hey, egg boy, your three minutes

Are up!

[ Laughs ]

♪ La la la la-la la la

♪ La la-la la la

Huh?

- Out of the way, girly girl!

'Cause tubezilla's on the

Rampage!

- [ Gasps ]

- [ Laughs ]

- Aaaah!

Ooh!

- No!

- Waaahh!

Aah! [ Gasping ]

Oh, no!

No!

- Bye!

- Nooooo!

- Target acquired.

Pull canon.

Locked on target.

- That's right.

Lock on me.

Huh.

Uh!

Hyah!

Better duck.

Hyah!

And that is how you...

Whoa! [ Coughs ]

Hey!

- You gonna stand there doing

Nothing, or you want to win some

Cake?

[ Laughs ]

- Oh.

- Wow! Wee! [ Laughs ]

- Numbuh 3, over here.

Help!

You've got to save me!

- I can't shave you right now,

Mister old man.

I'm racing.

- Kuki!

It's me, numbuh 4!

- Nice tube.

- [ Giggles ] I decorated it

Myself.

- Really?

Maybe you and I could get

Together after the race and

Share some decorating tips.

- Hey!

- That sounds great.

- Hey, you get away from her,

You fly boy!

- Wallabe beetles, stranded on

An island called "heartache."

A loser in tubing, and a loser

In love.

- Love?

What are you talking about?

Hey! Come back here!

Get me off this island!

[ Crying ] don't make me swim!

- And what of the delightful

Children from down the lane?

With their battleship lost,

Along with most of their hair,

How can they ever hope to win

This race?

- We're out of the race.

- Excellent.

Then I'll start whipping up your

Birthday cake.

[ Laughs evilly ]

- Nigel uno and

Abigail lincoln, you have come

Very far in this race.

But now, it is time for you to

Face the one...

Now it is time for you to face

The only...

Now it is time for you to

Face...

The tommy!

- The... The...

- Huh, another mortal struck

Speechless by the tommy.

- Not you, fool.

That!

- What could be more scary than

The...

[ All scream ]

- Come on, betsy.

Let's move, girl.

- Come on, come on, come on, come - on, come on, come on!

Come on... Let's go!

Let's go!

Go, go, go, go, go!

Oh, it's no use.

I'm never gonna win this race.

I'm never gonna win anything.

- Farfegtubing, son.

That's how you win toobathon.

You don't need souped-up engines

Or dirty tricks.

A real winner, a real gilligan

Trusts his tube.

Do you trust betsy, hoagie?

- Yeah, dad, I trust her.

Come on, old girl, this race

Isn't over yet!

Whoa! Whoo-hoo!

All right!

Whoo-hoo!

Go, betsy, go!

Yee haw!

- You know, the spanish word

For tube is el tube.

Hey!

Watch where you're tubing!

- Hey, numbuh 2, you're doing

Pretty good this year!

- It's called farfegtubing,

Numbuh 3, and me and betsy got

It.

- Huh?

- Farfegtubing!

- I can't hear you.

- I said... Far-feg-tub...

Aaah!

Oh, no!

Everybody, get out of the water!

Get out now!

Aah!

Got to hold on!

Aaaah!

- [ All ] aah!

- Looks like our race is taking

A bit of a detour.

- Yeah, and I've got a feeling

It's no accident.

- I've got a feeling I'm gonna

Hurl!

- Do it on the chair, and

You're swimming home, kid.

- Aaaaah!

Whoa, whoa!

Aaaah!

Please, can we pull over at

Rest stop?

That's it.

I'm totally gonna...

- Hey, guys, what's up?

- Your kid brother's about to

Puke.

That's what's up.

- Tommy, get off!

- Hey, I don't want

Mister pukey-pants in my tube.

- Cut it out.

- You take him.

- No way!

- Tommy!

- This isn't helping!

Aaaah!

- Bye, numbuh 2!

We'll be at the new skate park

After the race, okay?

- All: skate park?

- Whoa!

I'm trusting you, betsy!

I know you'll get us to the

Finish line!

Go, betsy, go!

Whoa!

Aaah!

No! No!

- Everything is going according

To plan.

[ Laughs evilly ]

The final ingredient should

Arrive any second now.

And then, the party begins!

- Uh, dude?

Is the skate park, like, ready

Yet?

Hey!

Woah!

- Fool! Why would I build

A skate park for you infernal

Children?

I've been building a pan for the

Largest birthday cake ever...

All for my delightful children.

And all I need to finish my

Deliciously evil recipe is some

Water and a full serving of

Bratty children.

[ Laughs evilly ]

Batter up, kids!

[ Laughs evilly ]

- Aah!

Wha... Huh?

The finish line!

[ Smooches ]

I knew you could do it, betsy!

- Hey, somebody's coming.

It's...

Hoagie gilligan?!

- That's my son!

Not in last place!

- All: yay!

- This is truly a sight to

Behold.

Hoagie p. Gilligan, the lord of

The losers, on the cusp of a

Toobathon victory.

- And it's all thanks to

Farfegtubing!

- A most impressive victory...

If it wasn't for the fact that

All the other contestants are

About to be baked into a

Ginormous cake by the evil

Father as we speak.

- What did you say?

- Hoagie p. Gilligan, the lord

Of the losers...

- Not that... The other thing!

- The other contestants...

Father dumped them into a giant

Cake pan, and he's going to bake

Them into a huge, tasty cake!

Look, I didn't mean all that

Stuff I said about you before.

So after you win, you think I

Could get a taste of that cake?

Hey!

The finish line is that way.

Where are you going?

What about toobathon?

- There's always next year.

- Next year.

Truer words have never been

Spoken by such a loser.

- [ Evil laughter ]

Well, that should take care of

The mixing.

So I'd say, it's about time we

Get cooking!

You know, I love baking.

Why, it's more than a hobby,

Actually.

- Yeeee-haw!

Uh!

[ Inner tube pops ]

- Betsy!

Oh, betsy, no!

- Well, if it isn't

Hoagie p. Gilligan.

And if I'm not mistaken, the

Same flabby, pathetic inner tube

That your loser father used to

Race with.

- You shut up about betsy.

My dad won toobathon every year

With her.

- Ha! Is that what he told you?

Why, your dad came in last place

Every year.

- That's not true.

My dad was a winner.

- [ Laughs ] I suppose he

Filled your tiny head with all

That farfegtubing nonsense,

Too.

- Shut up!

He did have farfegtubing, and

So do i!

- Fool! There is no such

Thing as farfegtubing.

Your father lied to you.

Your father was a loser, just

Like you!

Just like that lousy inner tube!

- No.

I believe in you, betsy.

I believe my dad.

I believe... Aah!

[ Grunts ]

- [ Laughs evilly ]

Uh oh. Uh!

Why, you miserable...

What?

Well, that can't be good.

- It's a sad day indeed for

Toobathon, as it seems there

Will be no winner.

No champion to claim the

Delightful children's cake.

No...

- Wait!

I think I see something.

- Is it my hoagie?

- It looks like a whole lot of

Cake batter!

- [ All ] yay!

- It all comes down to this,

Folks.

It's nigel uno in first place,

Followed by fanny fulbright.

No... From behind comes that

Kid.

But wait, abigail lincoln has

Moved into the lead.

No, it's kuki sanban.

But here comes muffy jenkins in

The final stretch, and the

Winner is...

Ladies and gentlemen, in all my

Years of tubing I have never

Seen anything like this.

For the first time in toobathon

History, we have a 634-way tie

For first place.

This has truly been a race that

Not only anyone could win, but

Everyone did win.

Everyone, except

Hoagie p. Gilligan.

- Hoagie!

Can you believe tommy actually

Came in first place?

- That's the tommy.

- Finally, a gilligan has won

Toobathon!

- But, mom, dad always told me

He won toobathon every year.

- Oh, hoagie, you should know

Better than to believe

Everything your father says.

Oh, the imagination on that man.

Did you know that he swore that

One day, that raggedy old tube

Would save all the children in

Town?

[ Laughs ] as if!

What that man saw in that thing,

I'll never know.

- It's called farfegtubing,

Mom.

- Oh, not you, too!

- You know, it's almost too bad

The delightful children's cake

Didn't get made this year.

Mm, the batter is amazing.

- I feel bad for numbuh 2.

He really wanted to win

Toobathon.

- At least this is the first

Time he didn't come in last

Place.

- Hello!

Coast guard?

Homing pigeons?

Is there a bottle I could write

A message in maybe?

Spy satellites?

Heeeelp!