06x11 - Operation G.I.R.L.F.R.I.E.N.D.

[bunniefuu]

And we'll be talking more

About the national space

Agency's planned moon landing

Later in the broadcast.

But first, let's go live to

Brad punchbeef at the convention

Center.

- Sorry to interrupt the real - news, chuck, but I'm here at the

National science fair, where

Kids from all over the world are

Boring us to death with their

Simple and primitive experiments

- That we've seen a million times - before.

Case in point... This so-called

"Volcano" made by gallagher

Elementary fourth grader

Harvey gilligan.

It's "hoagie."

Whatever, kid.

Just tell us about your stupid

Project, and we'll pretend like

We care, okay?

- Hey, it's not stu... - Great!

And that's all the time we have.

Back to you, chuck.

And we're clear.

Finally!

- Let's get out of here and cover - something fun, like the stock

Market.

Yeah, cool!

- Can we go through rush-hour - traffic?

Yeah, awesome!

The coast is clear!

All right, all right, simmer

Down, people.

As you all know, we hold the

Kids next door 2x4 technology

Convention every year so that

Each sector can show off their

Latest advances in gadgets,

Vehicles, and weaponry.

And, as always, the judges and

I, numbuh 2x4, will visit each

Booth to determine who will win

The coveted chocolate wrench

Award for the best, new 2x4 tech

Invention.

Why bother?

'Cause this year, I'm a shoo-in

To win.

Ah, numbuh 2 of sector "v,"

What magnificent technological

Advancement have you come up

With this year?

It's colossal.

It's "gihugic."

It's the most incredible thing

You've never seen.

It's...

"I can't believe it's not

Booger!"?

Exactly!

A booger substitute like no

Other.

Um, I have a question.

Yes?

That's stupid.

Hey!

That's not a question.

And that's not 2x4

Technology.

It's just gross!

Moving on!

Ohh!

Ah, numbuh 202 of sector "g,"

What have we here?

- Only the best new invention - ever, sir!

Just check out the video

Presentation we made.

[ Beeping ]

♪ What you gonna do

When grandma comes a-callin'? ♪

♪ Cheek tazer, cheek tazer

♪ What you gonna need

When auntie's got you bawlin'? ♪

♪ Cheek tazer, cheek tazer

♪ You pop it in your cheek

♪ It's really a cinch

♪ Then wait for them ladies

To give you a pinch ♪

♪ And oh-oh,

It's as easy as that ♪

♪ About a million megavolts

Will give them a zap ♪

♪ What you gonna do

- When uncle pete - comes a-pinchin'? ♪

♪ Cheek tazer, cheek tazer

♪ When miss johnson visits

Are you tired of flinchin'? ♪

♪ Cheek tazer, cheek tazer

♪ It came from sector "g,"

And it's sure to amaze her ♪

♪ It's the super-fantastic

Cheek tazer ♪

Ow!

Excellent idea, numbuh 202.

I could have really used one of

Those last thanksgiving.

And up next is sector "h."

Let's see what you've got,

Numbuh 30-c.

No prob, science dude.

Check this out.

Psst!

Oh. Uh, oh, yeah.

[ Monotone ] hey, here comes

That dumb old "toilet-nator."

Let us hit him with a snowball.

Yes, that is a cool idea, but

There is just one problem.

Both: it is the summertime.

Aah!

Hey!

Is this snow?

It sure is!

Oh, hello, numbuh 30-c.

May I ask how you are making

Snowballs in the summer?

It's easy, with sector h's

New summer-ball maker.

But what is a summer... Ooh!

Cut it out!

Summer ball is the amazing,

New invention of the year.

Simply pour in some ice cubes

From your mom's freezer.

Add coconuts, a couple of white

Crayons, a dash of skim milk, a

Jar of paste, some sugar, a box

Of rice, a pair of underwear,

And presto!

Ooh!

Blecch!

It went in my mouth!

That's right.

It may be summer, but that

Doesn't mean it has to be a

Bummer.

I came up with that last line

Myself.

Very nice, numbuh 30-c, but

Nothing we haven't seen before.

Ow!

Hey, what's the big...

Ah, forget him.

With "I can't believe it's not

Booger!" You can make snowballs

With 200% better "stickability."

Aah!

Get this thing away from me!

We've got real 2x4 technology to

Look at.

Yes, you do!

Step right up.

Step right up to crazy 80's 2x4

Superstore, where our gadgets

Are "unpossible."

- Hey, want to find out who farted - in math class?

- Then try our new fart-identifier - spray.

- Just spray it generously around - the room, and the culprit's

Butt will turn green.

Whoopsie!

Must have been those baked

Beans.

- And, speaking of beans, simply - take any old kind... String

- Beans, soybeans, kidney beans, - lima beans.

- Pour them into the new - jelly-o-matic.

It's guaranteed to make jelly

Beans out of yucky beans 100% of

The time.



- Still working out the kinks on - that one.

But look at this!

Crazy 80's new teacher-canceling

Headphones.

- Just slip them on, and you won't - hear a word of that boring

- History lesson, and the teacher - will never know...

Um, numbuh 80?

What? Can't hear ya!

Oh, never mind!

Hey, wait.

I didn't show you crazy 80's

Spank-proof underwear.

Come on.

Try to spank me.

Come on! You can do it!

Okay, what have you guys got?

Watch this!

[ Yawns ]

[ Speaking gibberish ]

- [ Speaking gibberish ] - [ man speaking asian language ]

Excellent work, sector "c."

Send a case of those over to my

Office, if you don't mind.

Well, if you like smoke

Tarts, then you'll love these.

Mmm!

Smells good.

What is it?

It's "I can't believe it's

Not booger!" On melba toast.

What's the big idea, trying

To make me eat boogers?!

Well, you might think it's

Boogers, but it's not!

It also makes a great dessert

Topping.

Forget that junk!

Let's thumbercise!

Are you tired of getting your

Butt kicked playing video games?

Can't seem to win at

Thumb-wrestling?

Tired of bullies kicking sand on

Your thumbs?

Well, no more!

Hi, I'm numbuh 123, and I used

To have pale, flabby, and

Useless thumbs until I came up

With a program guaranteed to

Give you the thumbs you've

Always dreamed of in just 30

Days.

It's called "thumbercise," and

It's sweeping the nation.

Other thumb exercises use

Complicated and expensive

Equipment that only works out

Parts of your thumb.

But thumbercise's exclusive

Thumb tensionizer power band

Works out the entire thumb,

Giving you a complete workout

And the muscular, healthy thumbs

You've always wanted.

See?

[ Clears throat ]

Allow me, ladies.

Nice thumb!

[ Both giggle ]

Thanks, thumbercise!

Ooh, a quarter!

Ow!

My eye! I'm blind!

Oh, my retina!

Call now to receive

Numbuh 123's thumbercise

Program, including the patented

Thumb tensionizer power band,



Half-page instruction booklet.

- Call in the next five minutes - and receive these thumb

Sweatbands, a $20 value, free!

- Supplies are limited, so call - now.

Thumb tensionizer?!

- That's just a plain, old rubber - band!

Hey, this is just a cruddy

Rubber band!

No!

It's an industrial-grade,

High-tech polymer that's been

Clinically tested.

Smoky tart!

I really have got to reject

Felix today.

[ Thunder rumbles ]

[ Speaking indistinctly ]

I would gladly pay you

Tuesday for the hamburger today.

Please return my "riffraff"

Comic books to me.

I hate you.

♪ frère jacques, frre

jacques ♪

♪ dormez vous, dormez vous? ♪

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

What in the name of ridges and

Woodwork are you people talking

About?!

I did not expect you to

Understand.

oui!

Le filthé is beyond your

Conventions.

Yeah, but what's it do?!

[ Sighs ]

You simply spray it on before

Your mother makes you take the

Bath, and it forms a waterproof

Coating so you will not become

Clean, no?

Well, why didn't you say so?

That's brilliant!

Yeah, but "I can't believe

It's not booger!" Does all that

And softens the skin.

Go on.

Feel the "tenderosity."

Get that stuff away from me!

- But you haven't even tried it - yet.

Come on.

- It does everything... Lubricates - gears, bastes turkeys.

It plugs leaks.

It's an awesome popcorn topping.

It's an eraser, a modeling

Compound, a semiconductor, a

Key chain, and...

It's delicious!

Come on.

Just try it and see.

If I try it, will you leave

Me alone?

I promise.

And it's not made with real

Boogers?

Oh, no way.

That would be disgusting.

Well, okay.

Say, that's pretty good.

And it really does all that

Stuff you said?

"Absitively posilutely."

Mmm.

Say, that is quite delectable.

So, uh, what's it made with?

Earwax.

[ All screaming ]

We won! We won!

[ Cheering ]

[ Sighs ]

How did sector "f" win the award

For best 2x4 tech invention?

My "I can't believe it's not

Booger!" Can do everything their

- Stupid invention can do and - more.

Tell me about it.

My tree-house seeds didn't win,

Either, and I spent all night

Coloring the packaging.

See?

Wow!

Way to stay inside the lines,

Numbuh 42.

- You've gotten better since last - year.

Well, uh, you keep them.

My dad doesn't want any more



Okay, thanks.

- Hey, what you doing after the - convention?

A bunch of us are getting

Together to watch the

"Dr. Timespace in the

Continuum's" marathon.

Dead arm!

- You're not hanging out with - these sci-fi-watching nerds, are

You, numbuh 2?

Why is everyone always

Knocking us for watching

"Dr. Timespace"?

- Yeah, numbuh 4, it's not that - bad.

In fact, the physics of the show

Are pretty accurate.

Oh, yeah?

It sounds like you could use a

Dead arm, too!

Whaa?

Help!

That thing's going after the

Scientists.

Hey, I'm a scientist!

Aah!

It got me!

Pull!

This looks like a job for

"I can't believe it's not

Booger!"

Ew!

Why'd you do that for?!

Wait! It's working.

[ All screaming ]

[ All groaning ]

Quick! To the scamper!

Right! Bail out of here.

Aah-ha-ha!

What the crud was that

About?!

Yeah, those were 2x4 tech

Machines.

Why were they attacking us?

[ Sighs ]

I'm not supposed to tell you

This, but it looks like the

Secret is out.

Last week, global command sent

Out a triple-degree, incredibly

Super-bad news warning to every

Sector leader.

They've recently found a

Splinter cell within the kids

Next door, and their goal is

Much more radical than fighting

Adult tyranny.

They want to permanently wipe

Out all adults, whether good or

Bad.

Co-o-ol!

Not cool, fool!

The kids next door only fight

Evil adults.

Well, what do these cruddy

Guys want with all those dorky

Scientists, anyway?

I can only guess they'll

Force them to build some kind

Of super megaweapon to further

Their extremist aims.

Well, we got to stop them.

Not you, numbuh 2.

If they get their hands on you,

They'll be able to build almost

Anything.

You'll have to lay low for a

While, somewhere they'd never

Expect to find you.

Noooo!

Anywhere but here!

Please!

Good to see you again, jeb.

It's been, what, a year since

Our last sector-leaders'

Retreat?

Ah, nigel, old friend.

Numbuh 2, this is

Numbuh jebidiah, leader of

Sector "a," the amish kids next

Door.

His team has agreed to take you

In while we find out who's been

Abducting our scientists.

And under no circumstances are

You to build anything with 2x4

Technology while you're here.

It would draw undue attention.

You do not be needing to

Fret.



These parts.

- [ Gasps ] - you're in good hands,

Numbuh 2.

We'll come back for you when...

Take me with you!

There's no electricity!

And worse... No video games!

You'll be... Fine!

Wait! Numbuh 1!

Don't leave me!

Numbuh 2, this here is

Numbuh ezekiel and

Numbuh rebecca.

Afternoon.

Howdy-do?

Did anyone ever tell you your

Names aren't numbers?

We're not needing any of your

Fancy city numbers around here.

Ezekiel?

What's up?

No, I'm afraid we'll need

Your 2x4 technology devices,

Please.

What?!

- And what if that splinter cell - att*cks?

- I'll at least need weapons to - defend myself.

But we don't believe in

v*olence.

While staying with us, you

Must respect our ways.

[ Grumbles ]

Fine!

[ Muttering ]

Of all the things...

There!

All of them, please.

Aah!

[ Clock ticking ]

There! That's all!

Don't you fret none.

You won't be missing those

Thingies one bit.

Whaa!

I'm not complaining, but that

Hurt.

Now then, rebecca, best get

Numbuh 2 properly attired.

Huh?

[ Chuckles nervously ]

No, no, no, guys, I'm

Comfortable in this.

Really. Guys?

Guys!

[ Cow moos ]

You've got to be kidding me.

I'm not wearing this stuff.

Oh, but you look so plain.

Yeah, plain stupid.

If you want to be staying in

Our tree house, you must do as

We do.

So, where is your tree house?

Right here.

What do you think?

That?!

That's a shrub.

Well, it'll take a little

While to grow, but we're in no

Rush.

In the meantime, we have

Temporary headquarters.

A barn?

Okay.

Okay, you guys wear fake beards,

You don't use 2x4 technology,

And you live in a barn.

What do you do around here,

Then?

Mostly work, I'm supposing.

Time and again, I lay me down

For a nap.

Are you serious?

Aah!

The eggs!

The eggs have been stolen from

The henhouse!

Finally! Some action!

Let's go!

Yes, hurry to the scamper.

You guys have a scamper?

Why were you messing with me?

Sector "v" has one, too.

I recently outfitted it with

Chili-powered boosters.

I can totally do the same for...

You.

Kids next door

S.c.a.m.p.p.e.r.... Strong

Canine actually manages pulling

People everywhere reliably.

Time's a-wasting, numbuh 2.

Up you go.

"Scampper," yah!

[ Whimpering ]

We're here, and in record

Time.

Come out with the eggs up!

They were over there.

That's funny.

This is the same spot I got the

Eggs to make my omelet this

Morning.

Then I guess we found our

Egg-napper, ezekiel.

Well, I suppose you're right.

Of all the crazy...

[ Cow moos ]

[ Rooster crows ]

Up and at them.

Aah!

We've got chores to do.

It's, like, 4:00 in the

Morning!

I know.

Must have overslept.

[ Crying ]

[ Groans ]

Hard work, is it not?

Stupid work.

Rebecca, this isn't how you

Build a tree house.

Then, may I ask...

How does your sector raise a

Tree house?

- Well... - Sector "a" is in no need of

Hurry.

'Tis better to use your own

Hands and feet than one of your

Lazy, whirligig shortcuts.

Lazy?!

You see this, rebecca?

This is a seed that took years

Of development and hard work to

Make.

So that any sector that needs a

Tree house can just do this.

No!

No! No! No! N-no!

Where is it?!

Where is...

That's how you build a tree

House.

Now you've done it.

You've drawn attention to us.

Splinter cell!

I need my weapons.

[ Panting ]

Aah!

No!

Numbuh 2, catch!

But I thought you were

Opposed to v*olence!

We are, but you're not.

No, I'm not.

Now go!

I'll hold them off.

Look out!

That was close.

Come on.

No!

We can't stop, rebecca.

We have to keep running.

No, we don't, hoagie.

I'm going with them, and so are

You.

W-what?

Hey, numbuh 2.

Numbuh 42, you're in the

Splinter cell?

Splinter cell?! Where?!

Those guys are crazy!

So, are you coming?

Coming? Where?

To watch the "dr. Timespace

In the continuum's" marathon.

Doi-eee!

Please, don't tell

Numbuh jebidiah.

I've been sneaking off with the

Scientists to catch some of the

Episodes.

- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, - wait.

You mean to tell me you

Scientists have been pretending

To be kidnapped to watch a

Stupid tv show?

Well, yeah.

Everyone else in the kids next

Door always makes fun of us and

Crashes our parties and gives us

Nerd noogies and stuff.

But this "dr. Timespace in the

Continuum's" marathon is a

Secret and will be

Uninterrupted.

So, are you coming?

Mind if I drive?

Last week, on

"Dr. Timespace"...

Chains...

Ha ha ha ha!

Finally, dr. Timespace, I have

Captured you.

Now prepare to...

[ Beeping, whirring ]

I... Have defeated you with

Science!

All: awesome!