Welcome to "Last Week Tonight!"
I'm John Oliver!
Thank you so much for joining us.
And normally, this is where
we'd do a quick recap of the week.
But, as you may have noticed,
we've been off air
for the last five months
due to the writers' strike,
which I'm very happy to say is over,
and even happier to say was successful.
Instead of recapping the last week,
we're gonna start by recapping
everything that's happened
in the last five months,
which has been a lot.
And we'll begin in the U.S. Senate
with this.
I got a new
strap-on harness today.
I can't wait to put it on you.
It will fit
my favorite dildo perfectly.
You're going to look so hot.
I can't wait
to have your cock in my mouth.
I'm going to give you
the blowjob of your life,
then I want you inside of me.
I know you may be wondering
"What're they going to talk
about when they come back?
What is so important that it has
to be the first thing they bring up?"
It's this. Since the moment
the phrase "strap-on harness"
careened out of Senator Foghorn
Leghorn's mouth, it was always this.
And sure,
he stumbles on "strap-on",
but he glides beautifully
through "favorite dildo",
doesn't falter for a second
on "cock in my mouth",
then sticks the landing
on "blowjob of your life"
while punctuating it with
a perfect look down his glasses.
It's a truly sublime 25 seconds,
and if we didn't have so much
to catch up on tonight,
I would play it on repeat
for the rest of this show.
But a lot more has happened
in the world of politics.
The Supreme Court
effectively banned affirmative action.
Tr*mp was indicted multiple times,
one of which gave us this mug sh*t,
in which he looks like he's struggling
to find Waldo on a crowded ski slope.
And Lauren Boebert was kicked out of
a musical for inappropriate behavior.
While I would love
to joke about that,
I don't want
to get bogged down in it.
She was kicked out of the show,
that is probably punishment enough.
So, instead,
we're going to move on to Italy,
where economic problems
have put real pressure
on Prime Minister Georgia Meloni's
upcoming budget,
although, you know what?
Briefly, the inappropriate behavior
that Boebert engaged in
apparently involved her
"being loud",
and refusing to stop vaping
around a pregnant woman.
Also, there was some fondling
and light over-the-pants hand stuff,
which was caught on video.
But again, I don't want
to get into that too much,
because in Italy, markets are dubious
that Meloni will be able to…
It was "Beetlejuice",
by the way.
That was the musical
Lauren Boebert was watching.
It was a touring production
of "Beetlejuice" the musical.
I just need you to know that.
I'm not saying it'd be appropriate
to engage in high school freshman-era
hand stuff
during a production of any musical,
but I just wanted
to be absolutely clear
that this wasn't one of the more
explicitly sexual ones
like "Spring Awakening"
or "Rocky Horror" or "Cats".
This was "Beetlejuice", a show
that's quite loudly about death.
If you're going to get your nipples
tweaked and your pipe squeaked,
you save that sh*t for "Fiddler",
like a g*dd*mn adult.
But again, it's an old story,
it's been resolved…
And it fundamentally doesn't matter.
What matters is, in Italy,
economic growth rates
are causing some significant…
Sorry, there is just one more
thing about Lauren Boebert.
Reports say that after receiving
a warning at intermission,
the final complaint
that led to her being kicked out
came five minutes into act two.
If you don't know the show,
that puts us comfortably
into "That Beautiful Sound",
a song where Beetlejuice and Lydia
gleefully t*rture a series of visitors,
including a girl scout,
a pizza delivery person,
and one of their neighbors.
It's a song about how they like
the sound of tortured screams.
Is it the least sexy
thing a person can sit through?
No. That would be this.
But it is up there!
Anyway, as she was being escorted
out of the theater, she apparently said
"Do you know who I am?"
and "I will be contacting the mayor".
Which are two just catastrophically
bad decisions.
If you've been caught
for sexual activity
during "Beetlejuice" the musical,
you would hope no one knew
who you were
and you definitely wouldn't want
to get on the phone with the mayor,
to tell him what had happened.
And the thing is, sadly, this incident
has now derailed me so much,
I don't even have time to talk about
Italy's economic struggles anymore,
so, much like Lauren Boebert
and the musical "Beetlejuice",
you'll never get to know how
it all turns out.
Instead, we need to catch up
on what happened in New Jersey,
whose Democratic senator
Bob Menendez
was indicted on corruption charges
for accepting bribes
to aid local businessmen
and benefit the Egyptian government.
While he has denied those charges,
some of the details look pretty bad.
The indictment alleges Menendez
and his wife received
nearly a half million dollars in cash
and $150,000 worth of gold bars.
Prosecutors also say
that the day after the two
returned from a trip to Egypt,
Menendez searched online, quote
"How much is one kilo of gold worth?"
Yeah. Not great, Bob!
That is pretty incriminating.
No one casually Googles
"How much is one kilo of gold worth?"
because they are bored.
They Google "Do butterflies feel pain
when they fwap their wings?"
"How little love can a person live on?"
and "What exactly is a Travis Kelce?"
"How much is one kilo of gold worth?"
is an incriminating Google search.
It's right up there with
"Can you snort Adderall?"
and "How to get bloodstains
out of your wife."
And it's not just Menendez
who's been in legal jeopardy.
Pillow baron Mike Lindell
continues to face lawsuits
stemming from the false claims
he promoted about voting machines,
and a few weeks ago, a deposition
from one of those cases came out,
featuring this spectacular moment,
as he discussed what sort of customer
service calls his company gets.
Okay. And I'm not asking
about the lumpy pillow calls.
No, they're not lumpy pillows,
that's not what they call on, okay?
When you say "lumpy pillows",
now you're an assh*le, you got that?
You're an assh*le,
is what you are.
No, he's an assh*le.
He's an ambulance-chasing assh*le.
That's what you are.
Lumpy pillows, kiss my ass.
My favorite thing
about Mike Lindell
is that he's the rare example of how
recovering from a cr*ck addiction
can actively make you worse.
Although, for the record, Mike,
if they are not lumpy pillows,
how do you explain this Amazon
listing for your product,
featuring a very real exchange
in which one customer asks
"Should it be this lumpy and flat?
I just got it",
and another replies
"Mine was-slash-is lumpy?"
Or this review titled
"It is a bag o' lumps".
Or this one titled "Lumpy",
with the body text, "Lumpy".
We also missed a bunch
of international news,
like the coronation of King Charles,
the world's oldest boy,
during which he said "I come
not to be served, but to serve."
Although he clearly didn't mean
that in the sense of serving looks,
given that this is his official
coronation portrait,
in which he seems to be aiming
for "successful pimp"
but ends up looking
like someone wearing
a set of tacky drapes
over a Lakers jersey.
Also, Turkey had an election,
which Erdogan narrowly won.
For about a day and a half,
it seemed like there genuinely
might be a coup in Russia,
which ended with its leader,
Yevgeny Prigozhin,
accepting a weird deal brokered
by the Belarussian president,
and then dying in the most
predictable plane crash of all time.
And on top of all of that,
China was shaken to its absolute
core by this controversy.
It's bizarre video of a species
known as a sun bear
that's leading everyone to ask,
"Is that really a bear,
or just a guy in a bear suit?"
The creature, named Angela,
stands upright just like a human,
and are those wrinkles?
It sure gives the impression that it's
a dude in an ill-fitting bear costume.
And just look
at the way she waves.
Chinese zoo authorities
are settling the mystery,
declaring
"Angela is definitely not a human".
Everyone! Leave Angela alone!
Stop talking about her awkward
wave and wrinkly bottom.
And I'll tell you why
I'm so personally invested in this.
Some of us never get to see
our exact body type on screen,
and finally I get
why representation matters.
And speaking of representations
of me specifically,
back in June, after Reddit
announced a new policy
to charge third-party apps
for accessing its data,
many of its members
engaged in a striking protest.
Some of the biggest forums
on Reddit
are being flooded with photos
of comedian John Oliver.
This is all taking place
over a protest
to changes on how
the website is being run.
Two of the most popular
so-called subreddits
have decided to post nothing
but photos of Oliver.
It's true. For weeks, images of me
were used as a form of protest
on some of the most popular
subreddits.
And to their credit,
they used some pretty good ones,
like this one of me as a Muppet,
this one of me as a blobfish,
this one of me appearing
in a piece of toast,
and my personal favorite,
this one labeled "John Oliver Wick",
which is a good way of showing you
exactly what it would look like
if Professor Snape
ever committed armed robbery.
It was a pretty inspiring act
of malicious compliance,
but just watch
as trying to explain it
seemed to break the brains
of that local news team.
Are they for John Oliver?
Or against him?
I think this is
just part of their protest.
We're going to put up
something that's boring,
that nobody's going
to care about.
Is that right?
This says moderators
of a certain subreddit
say that they're only allowing users
to post pictures of John Oliver,
quote "looking sexy".
Any picture of the comedian was allowed
because John Oliver is always sexy.
So, you're saying boring,
according to the Reddit users,
they're doing it
'cause he's "sexy".
I don't know!
This is according to this article.
Okay, putting my feelings aside,
which they certainly did there,
why does it seem like everyone on
that show is completely unprepared?
This guy is confused
by the story entirely,
and she's Googling it
live on air.
It looks like they're hosting
an improv show
where the audience gave them the
words "Reddit", "sexy", "John Oliver",
and they had to build a scene
around that.
You know what other major
pop-culture news we missed?
Barbenheimer! It was one of the
biggest movie events of the summer,
alongside "Sound of Freedom",
the feel-good child sex trafficking hit
that we'd all been waiting for.
Although I would argue,
if you're looking for the single
best movie of the summer,
it has got to be "Cop Slide".
It almost hurts to watch.
A police officer is taking a break,
heading down a popular slide.
It's like he's sh*t
out of a cannon.
He hits the ground hard.
Yeah, he does hit the ground hard.
And it's absolutely incredible.
From the sound of him
thundering down the slide,
to all his cop toys flying
all over the place.
It is cinema at its finest.
It's not the first, and it won't be
the last time that I say this,
but I wish cops turned
on their body cams more.
Because I'd love to have seen
that from inside the slide, as well.
"Cop Slide"
took the internet by storm,
inspiring memes and remixes,
my favorite of which was this.
The pain still grows.
It's no stranger to you and me.
I can feel it
coming in the air tonight.
Come on! Eat your heart out
"Miami Vice",
that is now the all-time
greatest use of that song.
The video went so viral,
"Boston Cop Slide"
is now listed on Google Maps.
Because it's in Boston, it's of course
down the street from a Dunkin',
and across the plaza
from another Dunkin',
which is next
to another Dunkin',
which is across the street
from another f*cking Dunkin'.
There are four Dunkins within
a one-block radius of Cop Slide.
And if you expand it a few blocks,
there are 13 of them.
Boston, you truly
are a self-parody.
The point is,
we missed so many stories.
I haven't even brought up
the Titan submersible!
Yeah, we missed that, too!
That was a weird few days, wasn't it?
Also, there was a batshit raid
on a newspaper in Kansas,
wildfires in Maui, and a spectacular
brawl at a dock in Montgomery
where some drunken white assholes
got their asses and a folding chair
handed to them.
We missed so much
it would take a whole new version
of Billy Joel's "We Didn't
Start the Fire" to cover it.
Which reminds of something else
we missed,
Fallout Boy released a new version
of "We Didn't Start the Fire"
that absolutely nobody asked for,
covering the last 34 years.
And if you're wondering, "Hold on,
they didn't bring up that thing,
did they?"
The answer is, yes,
they very much did.
Mars Rover, "Avatar",
self-driving electric cars,
S-S-R-Is,
Prince and the Queen die,
World Trade, second plane,
what else do I have to say?
What else do you have to say?
Nothing, Fallout Boy!
No one's making you do this!
Honestly, I don't know who should be
more pissed off about that verse,
Prince, James Cameron,
or the first plane.
And for what it's worth
"We Didn't Start the Fire"
is the last song anyone should cover
from Billy Joel's discography.
Even in its original form,
it is the musical equivalent of a child
telling you everything he learned
about at school that day.
Slow down but also,
I don't care.
And before any Billy Joel fans
start getting angry with me,
the man himself
thinks the song is terrible.
Here he is sh*t-talking it
in front of his own audience!
It's the same thing
verse after verse.
Just the words change.
One of the worst melodies
I ever wrote.
Exactly.
I didn't think I'd ever say this
sentence out loud and mean it,
but listen to Billy Joel, Fallout Boy,
he's got a very good point!
I'd have loved to have covered
these stories when they happened.
I wish so much I could have told you
these jokes at the time.
But I couldn't, because our writers,
the people who wrote those jokes,
were forced to strike for a fair
contract for the last five months.
And it was an immensely
difficult time not just for them,
but everyone else working
on this show, and many others,
who could no longer do their jobs.
And to be clear, this strike
happened for good reasons,
our industry has seen its workers
severely squeezed in recent years.
You've probably seen stories
about writers and actors,
whose work
you may even recognize,
routinely not making enough
to qualify for health insurance,
or afford basic needs.
The Writers' Guild went on strike,
and thankfully won,
but it took a lot of sacrifices
from a lot of people to achieve that.
And while I'm happy
that they eventually got a fair deal
and immensely proud
of what our union accomplished,
I'm also furious
that it took the studios 148 days
to achieve a deal that they
could've offered on day f*cking one.
But hopefully,
this may encourage others,
from auto workers to Starbucks
baristas to healthcare providers,
whether they are in unions
or would like to be,
to find power in each other.
And within our particular industry,
I really hope the actors' union
and IATSE, which represents crews,
will be able to take
what the writers achieved
and leverage it to win fair contracts
for themselves, too.
Because it takes many people,
working really hard,
to make film and TV,
all of whom deserve a piece of the pie.
And for the actors, in particular,
they cannot come back to work
soon enough.
Especially because we've now
all seen what happens
when non-professionals
are trusted with the written word.
I can't wait
to have your cock in my mouth.
I'm going to give you
the blowjob of your life,
then I want you inside of me.
Exactly. And now, this!
And Now:
Local News Is Very Excited
About What Week It Is.
The National Park Service has
announced the return of Fat Bear Week.
Yeah, that's a real thing.
It is back, everybody. The contest
for the fattest bear is here.
It is actually
a contest for chubby chunkers
hoping to advance
to the main Fat Bear Week.
Which one's the fattest bear
out there?
- Chubby.
- Who's been eating the most fishies?
- Fat Bear Week.
- Okay.
- Look at that guy!
- Look at those big chunky bears.
Those are some big chunky bears.
Look at 'em.
They ate 20 boxes of donut holes
and six packages of donuts.
They're getting ready
for Fat Bear Week.
I wonder how the Bears
feel about being called fat.
I have a history of picking the bear
that usually wins.
We've got a tradition here.
We like to pick.
Pick one out.
Police in Michigan
helped save an eight-year old boy
after he was electrocuted.
Moving on. Our main story tonight
concerns healthcare.
The thing that "E.R."
was originally about,
before, in later seasons, it really
became more about scenes like this.
Obviously, a lot going on there.
Not least of which, if you're not
familiar with the "E.R."-niverse,
this guy was already living
with one arm,
because he'd lost the other,
and this is true,
in a different
helicopter accident.
And you know what they say:
hit me with a helicopter once,
shame on you.
Hit me with a helicopter twice,
you must be in some late-stage
post-Clooney "E.R." seasons.
Specifically, tonight's story
is about the healthcare currently
offered in jails and prisons.
That's right,
after five long months,
we're welcoming you back
with a story about prisoner healthcare,
because deep down,
this is who we are.
And I know that, for some,
the very concept of incarcerated
people getting medical care
is somehow offensive, as you can tell
from the fact that, for years,
the subject's been framed
on TV like this.
Spokane County taxpayers
are paying the bill
for alleged K*llers, rapists,
and child molesters
to see doctors,
dentists, and specialists.
Have you ever seen
a meth user's teeth?
It's called meth mouth,
and it is awful!
KOAT anchor Todd Kurtz
shows you how all of that decay
is costing you money as jails and
prisons are forced to fix those teeth.
There is a place where we are
all guaranteed healthcare by law,
it's called jail.
And criminals know
their way around the system
and look for chances to get treatment
on the taxpayer's dime.
It is just wild to point out
that the only place Americans
are guaranteed healthcare is jail
and somehow make it seem
like the problem is prisoners
and not our deeply broken system.
"Yeah, apparently the only place
you can get free dental is jail,
are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
Exactly, f*ck that guy
and his teeth!"
Putting aside that not everyone
who's incarcerated is even guilty,
it's worth pointing out
that according to a recent study,
are actually people,
I mean like,
human beings people,
like the kind that you are.
They have hopes and souls
and farts and brains.
And if that isn't enough, you should
know the Constitution requires
that we provide adequate healthcare
to anyone behind bars.
In 1976, the Supreme Court ruled that
denying medical treatment to prisoners
"constitutes cruel
and unusual punishment"
in violation
of the Eighth Amendment.
Yet despite all of that, the quality
of care prisoners receive is abysmal.
Investigations in state after state
have found it to be woefully deficient.
A lawsuit against Arizona a while back
made some horrifying allegations.
It alleges
that prisoners are at, quote,
"substantial risk of pain, amputation,
disfigurement, and death."
It cites examples of prisoners
being told to pray to be cured
or drink energy shakes
to treat cancer symptoms.
Okay, that is both terrible advice
and also, not even close to being true.
If energy drinks could treat cancer
symptoms, you'd have heard about it.
Red Bull would mention it
in all of their ads,
instead of their current
marketing copy, which is,
"Red Bull: There's nothing
we can do about the taste,
but let's be honest,
you're 22 and hungover
and just need something to get you
through your shift at Red Lobster
and you're still a few years away
from having cocaine money,
so just shut up
and put this poison in you."
The consequences of poor care
are only going to get more dire,
given our rapidly aging
prison population.
From 1999 to 2015, the number
of people 55 or older in prison
increased by 264%.
And why are we confining
so many elderly people in prisons,
when we should clearly be putting
them where they belong,
on "The Golden Bachelor",
taking full advantage of menopause
and f*cking raw.
I presume that's what happening
on that show.
So, given all of this, tonight,
let's take a look at prison healthcare,
who provides it,
why it's so bad, and how we can
improve it going forward.
And let's start
with the fact that, at one point,
states themselves provided medical
care for their jails and prisons.
Some still do, in fact,
and in most places,
it's generally been pretty bad.
That "treat cancer
with prayer and energy drinks" story
is from when Arizona
ran its own prison healthcare.
But increasingly,
states have started contracting care
out to private companies.
As of 2018,
more than half of all U.S. states
hire private companies to provide
at least some of their prison healthcare.
And when it comes to our largest jails,
that number is more than 60%,
all of which explains why this is
now a roughly $4 billion industry.
And the sell companies
make is that they can tailor care
to the particular needs
of the incarcerated
a population that can have
high rates of substance abuse
and mental illness, both of which
do pose special challenges.
Just listen to this promo
for Advanced Correctional Healthcare,
which serves facilities in 21 states,
as it makes a very big promise.
The purpose of Advanced
Correctional Healthcare
is to solve problems
for our patients and clients
and make their lives easier.
Our data indicates your detainees
will be healthier in your jail
than they are when they go
to their own doctors.
That definitely doesn't immediately
seem like bullshit, does it,
from the fact
that she's citing "our data"
to the fact that, when you're Googling
for "best doctors near me",
the top result is very rarely
"Have you tried your local jail?"
And unsurprisingly,
the rosy picture that promo paints
doesn't remotely live up to reality.
Take this story from a Wisconsin jail
that used that company's services.
Six months ago,
was in a Wisconsin jail
for a child support violation.
He complained of chest pains.
The jail nurse concluded he had
heartburn and gave him two Tums.
Less than an hour later,
Wilson asked for help, again.
"Relax", was the nurse's advice.
Soon after,
Wilson d*ed of a heart att*ck.
The nurse told a detective
weeks later.
sh*t happens.
The nurse was fired.
Good! She should've been!
Because that is the single worst thing
you can possibly say
in response to someone dying of a
heart att*ck because you screwed up.
And while I'm sure
that she was upset at losing her job,
if I may share
a quote that it seems
there is simply no bad time for,
sh*t f*cking happens.
And at this point,
you will not be surprised to learn
that in internal trainings,
Advanced Correctional Healthcare
seemed to spend
an unnerving amount of time
teaching its employees what constitutes
the legal bare minimum of care.
That rough draft Jennifer Garner
wax figure
once conducted
a video seminar for staff
titled "A jail is not a health spa".
And just watch her
explain the importance
of avoiding
"deliberate indifference",
basically, not blatantly
neglecting to treat prisoners,
by using the weirdest
possible example.
So, how do we define
"deliberate indifference" now?
You must know of and disregard
an excessive risk
to inmate health or safety.
Something which
would cause the unnecessary
and wanton or malicious
infliction of pain.
A few years back,
there was an NBA player
who was arrested for sh**ting
a g*n into the air five times
outside of a strip club.
That is criminal recklessness.
That is consciously disregarding
a substantial risk of harm.
A stray b*llet
could have hit a stripper.
That is definitely an example.
It only makes sense if she explains
every legal concept like that.
Abduction?
A stripper gets kidnapped.
Bankruptcy?
A stripper stops stripping.
Escrow? A stripper buys a house
but enlists a third party
to temporarily hold assets
until the deal is finalized.
You should know, that woman
was the company's senior counsel.
And I'm happy to announce
that she is no longer in that role.
But that's only because she's the
president of the whole company!
But the problem
isn't just with this one company.
It's with the whole industry.
A review of 500 jails
found those relying
on the five leading contractors
had higher death rates
than facilities run by the government.
One of the key reasons companies
so often deliver substandard care
is that they are incentivized to
due to how they are paid.
It's basically
a fixed dollar amount contract.
It's $16
and change per prisoner,
and the contract
assumes 34,000 prisoners.
So it's basically,
this is how much we're giving you.
And the more money you spend
on providing healthcare,
the less profit you make.
Right. And that is a pretty obvious
incentive to cut corners.
If you give your babysitter $100
and say,
"Whatever you don't spend
on dinner you can keep,"
don't be surprised if you come home
to a very happy babysitter
and a bunch of pissed-off kids
eating Top Ramen.
And that profit motive has led
to some pretty outrageous policies.
A recent court case
against Wexford,
one of the country's largest
prisoner healthcare providers,
revealed that for years
it had had a de facto
"one good eye" policy,
as when a 69-year-old prisoner
got cataracts in both eyes
and wanted them fixed,
the prison doctor told her
that she'd have to make a choice,
"Which eye did she want fixed,
the right one or the left one?"
Which is clearly
an impossible question.
It's like someone asking which
Property Brother you'd like to k*ll.
The only acceptable response
to either question is,
"Both, why are you
making me choose?"
But to show just how dangerous
these companies can be,
let's look at one state, Arizona.
Back in 2009,
it announced a plan to switch
from state care to private providers.
And the initial pitch was that this
would be a cost-saving measure.
But as this woman explains,
something interesting
happened fairly early on.
They put out a request
for proposals, an RFP,
and nobody bid for it
because nobody could do it for less
than what the state was spending
because the state wasn't spending
very much as it is.
A couple years later,
the legislature came back and said
"We're gonna amend
that prior law.
Remember where we said it has to be
less? It's okay. It can cost more."
It can now, can it?
So you demanded a competitive bid,
and when no one responded,
you just rolled over
and gave up absolutely everything.
It's a shrewd tactic from
the famous book on negotiating
"This Is Where I'm Softest,
and Other Business Ideas"
by a timid puppy.
But since then,
it has been a nightmare,
as Arizona
has cycled through contractors.
They started with Wexford,
the "one good eye" people.
But as things didn't improve,
less than a year later,
they switched
to a company called Corizon.
But heinous stories
started emerging
about the care
that they were providing, too,
including one that we've actually
shown you before on this show,
about a woman
who gave birth behind bars,
and whose C-section wound
hadn't fully healed.
And I'll let her mother pick up
the story from there.
They decided she had been there
long enough
that she could go back to her yard.
But it was still open a little bit.
And so they decided
that the best thing to do for this
would be to pack it
with kitchen sugar.
- Sugar?!
- Sugar.
And we're talking sugar
that you get from…
'Cause they donate it,
from McDonald's, from Burger King.
They're standing there
ripping open these little packs
of sugar and filling that wound.
Packing it in with what's left…
- With sugar from a fast food.
- Yes.
Let me be clear: I'm not a doctor,
although if you put me in a lab coat
I do think I could get away with it
for two to six weeks.
I have an accent and I know
how to say "subdural hematoma",
I'm basically
halfway there already.
But if I had to pick
the worst possible thing
for a person recovering
from the trauma of childbirth,
it'd be injecting McDonald's sugar
straight into your bloodstream.
And the state lawmaker
who spearheaded the move
to take Arizona's prison
healthcare private, John Kavanagh,
didn't display a great deal of empathy
when confronted with that story.
That sounds ridiculous.
Prisoners have24/7 to think up
allegations and write letters.
I'm not saying that some of them
can't have a basis in fact,
but you got to take them
with a grain of salt,
or in the case of the hospital,
maybe a grain of sugar.
I get it, a joke! Prison Gepetto here
is having some fun with words!
I'm sure that prisoner's sides
were splitting!
Less from laughter, though,
and more from the open wounds
that, thanks to him,
she'd had filled with f*cking sugar.
And that is just one of many stories
of Corizon providing abysmal care,
seemingly in order to cut costs.
Not only were they repeatedly accused
of refusing to pay specialists,
causing hospitals
to have to send emails like this one,
in which they literally
beg for payment.
But when a Corizon doctor was dealing
with a prisoner with multiple seizures,
and suggested sending him out
for an exam,
she was told that
that was not going to happen,
but that they'd "order a helmet
for him to protect his head instead."
And while it is clearly
not the most important thing here,
we tracked that doctor down to ask
if they ever got that helmet for him,
and you'll never guess
what the answer was.
Unless your guess is "no",
in which case, you're f*cking right.
And all of this
led to horrific consequences,
like this man, who had just 10 months
left on his sentence for vehicle theft
when he complained of back pain.
Four months later,
he finally got x-rays done,
which showed signs of cancer, but
even then, Corizon dragged its feet.
They wouldn't do an MRI. They kept
denying an MRI, denying an MRI.
In May, CT scans were ordered
to see if Vocke had cancer,
but Corizon denied it.
Finally, at the end of July 2013,
a CT scan was performed.
It confirmed Vocke had cancer.
Medical records show there was
a lengthy delay in treating Vocke.
And it was kidney cancer that
could have been 95% survivable.
And now they're saying
that I can't survive it whatsoever.
Vocke was granted medical parole
so he can die surrounded by family.
That is a tragedy.
Just 10 months left on his sentence,
showing clear signs of cancer,
and nothing was done.
And again,
he was in there for vehicle theft.
The punishment
for that is clearly not death,
but under a system this cruel,
it can turn out to be.
And this was all part
of a consistent pattern,
the state's records showed that Corizon
had delayed delivery of medical care
in just one eight-month period.
It got so bad,
Arizona was forced to pay fines
for the substandard care
prisoners received,
even as, mystifyingly,
it continued to pay
more than $2.5 million in performance
bonuses to Corizon's executives.
But eventually enough was enough,
and the state got rid of Corizon.
The company
has since declared bankruptcy
but rebranded as YesCare,
which is a bold name for a company.
It's like Applebee's calling itself
Won't Make You Poop Weird!
To put it mildly,
your name is a little misleading.
Anyway, Arizona replaced Corizon
with a company called Centurion.
But the situation didn't improve,
in fact, last June,
a judge ruled that for years,
across multiple providers,
the state had shown "the most
callous and inhumane indifference",
saying, "no legitimate humane system
would operate in this manner."
Since that ruling,
the state's contracted out
to yet another new provider,
this one called NaphCare,
which itself is fighting accusations
of forcibly inducing pregnant prisoners
into labor against their will.
And that is the thing here, in so many
places, states end up just rotating
among a small handful
of awful providers.
Prisons in Florida have gone from
Wexford, to Corizon, to Centurion.
Alabama went from Corizon
to Wexford, to YesCare,
which, you'll remember,
is basically just Corizon rebranded.
States choose healthcare providers
like old married couples
choose sexual positions:
by cycling through an extremely
limited number of options,
none of which really get the job done
in a satisfying way.
And the options can be so limited
that, even when public officials
do try to do the right thing
and demand action,
they can often
find themselves stuck.
Take what happened
in Forsyth County, North Carolina.
It had a contract with a company
called Correct Care Solutions
to provide care in its jail.
But after a series of calamities,
including two men dying
in the space of just 24 days,
this county commissioner
decided to vote
against renewing their contract,
and did so like this.
I can't vote to support Correct Care
for any contract.
I don't care about three million,
three years, or whatever.
I wouldn't give Correct Care Solutions
$3,000 for three days
if I had my way,
so, I can't support it.
That's a pretty strong no
from that man
and as justifiable as his reluctance
to renew Correct Care's contract was,
as the county's deputy sheriff
pointed out to him,
there was a bit of a problem.
The only thing I will say, sir,
is, with regard to this,
Correct Care
was the only vendor that bid.
It's true.
There was no other option!
So, the whole vote
was basically ceremonial.
It'd be just as effective
to hold a vote on the question,
"Should it be summer now?"
Yes? Yes? Everyone votes yes?
Bad news, everyone,
it still isn't!
And when you put all of this together,
it's hard to escape two conclusions:
that all the options
currently on the table are bad.
And that the reason
they are allowed to be so bad
is because
of who this care is for.
I get that it can be difficult to care
about issues affecting prisoners.
I also get that their healthcare may be
especially difficult to rally around,
as so many on the outside
don't have healthcare themselves.
I know all of this!
But the fact remains:
prisoners are people.
And there are some solutions here.
I would argue the bare minimum
we should do
is to stop outsourcing prison
healthcare to private companies.
As the director of the National
Prison Project at the ACLU puts it
"Government-run prison healthcare
is often appallingly deficient,
but at least when a government
is providing the service,
there is some measure
of oversight."
And it should say something
about how bad things are
that what activists are pushing for
is the "appallingly deficient" option.
Obviously, the problem is so much
bigger than shitty contractors.
If the prisons are overwhelmed
with too many patients to take care of,
maybe there should be
fewer people in there.
If it's that the prison population
is getting older
because of the incredibly long
sentences we've imposed upon people,
maybe we should consider
releasing them.
If it's that too many of them
are dealing with addiction
and mental health problems,
maybe we should be examining
whether prison is the best place
to treat those conditions.
It is impossible to separate this issue
from the much larger conversations
about universal healthcare
and prison abolition.
Like so many stories that we cover,
this one ends at the perpetual
elephants in the room:
the U.S. doesn't guarantee any of its
citizens the dignity of good healthcare
and it puts too many of its people in
cages where many will needlessly die.
And you can take that with all
the grains of sugar in the world,
but it should still be absolutely
impossible for you to swallow.
And now, this!
And Now:
Fall Is Here,
And So Is Something Else.
A big milestone for one of the
country's favorite fall drinks,
and help start a yearly trend.
The Starbucks pumpkin spice latte
is now 20 years old.
It's back!
billion-year reign of the spice!
Speaking of delicious,
the love and appreciation for pumpkin
spice is now at an all-time high.
As we drink and eat everything
pumpkin spice,
the question is being raised:
are Americans addicted?
Yes! We are addicted!
We are powerless worms sick with
desire for whimsical fall flavors!
I had a pumpkin
spice latte yesterday.
- No, you didn't.
- I gave in. I had to.
You had to!
For we are mere puppets in thrall
to a proprietary blend of spices
more powerful than
any decrepit human will.
- I had a PSL phase…
- Yeah?
- But then I PSL-ed out.
- Yeah.
Maybe, like, one a season.
Not all the time.
Yes! All the time!
Witness each interminable
second grow tumescent
with the blood
of the pumpkin and despair.
say they want pumpkin spice all year.
That's not true.
It is true, Craig! The thirst
for spice will not be denied!
Even by the host of the nation's
second most popular morning show!
Despite the drink's massive
success following its release,
the company did consider
discontinuing the drink at one point
to keep things new, fresh,
and not repetitive.
No! The spice can never be stopped!
It shall echo into eternity!
Spice! Spice! Spice!
Spice! Spice! Spice!
Spice!
That's our show, thanks so much for
watching, it is so, so good to be back.
We'll see you next week,
good night.
10x11 - Prison healthcare in the United States
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American late-night talk and news satire television program hosted by comedian John Oliver.
American late-night talk and news satire television program hosted by comedian John Oliver.