01x04 - The Mechanical Boy

[bunniefuu]

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf, who's your
friend when things get rough ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Can't do a little 'cause
he can't do enough ♪

♪ Once upon a summertime,
just a dream from yesterday ♪

♪ A boy and his
magic golden flute ♪

♪ Heard a boat
from off the bay ♪

♪ Come and play with me,
Jimmy, come and play with me ♪

♪ And I will take you on a
trip far across the sea ♪

♪ But the boat belonged
to a kooky old witch ♪

♪ Who had in mind
the flute to snitch ♪

♪ From her vroom
broom in the sky ♪

♪ She watched her
plans materialize ♪

♪ She waved her wand, the
beautiful boat was gone ♪

♪ The skies grew dark,
the sea grew rough ♪

♪ And the boat sailed on and on
and on and on and on and on ♪

♪ But Pufnstuf was watching too
and knew exactly what to do ♪

♪ He saw the witch's
boat att*ck ♪

♪ And as the boy
was fighting back ♪

♪ He called his rescue racer
crew as often they'd rehearsed ♪

♪ And off to save
the boy they flew ♪

- [Speaker] But who
would get there first?

♪ But now the boy
had washed ashore ♪

♪ Puff arrived to save the day ♪

♪ Which made the witch
so mad and sore ♪

♪ She shook her fist
and screamed away ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf, who's your
friend when things get rough ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Can't do a little 'cause
you can't do enough ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf, who's your
friend when things get rough ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Can't do a little 'cause
you can't do enough ♪

[cheerful carefree music]

[Pufnstuf snoring]
[playful music]

[playful upbeat music]
[audience laughing]

[dramatic orchestral music]

- Hey, where are you
goin', little girl?

- I'm not a little
girl, I'm a boy.

- Eh, what do I know?
I'm batty. [laughs]

- Not so fast, my young bucko,

the witch will want to know
what you're doing in her forest.

- [Jimmy] Let go,
you big dumb oak!

- Ow!
Oh, oh, he's breaking my lip!

- I've got him, he won't get
away from me, you little human!

- I won't, hey?
- Ouch, grab him!

- I think he cracked my trunk.

- Quick, after him!
[crickets chirping]

- I may never walk again.

Do you think we'll catch him?
- We'd better,

or the witch will
turn us into shingles.

- Oh, take it easy,
my roots are dragging.

- Shh, shh, hold it,
someone is coming.

[playful music]
[audience laughing]

- After them.
- Grab the little bugs!

[playful music]
[audience laughing]

[dramatic orchestral music]

[playful music]

- [gasps] Oh, wow, you
two guys sure scared me,

but I'm glad you're here now.

You can help me out, okay?

Good, I knew I could
depend on you two.

See the witch's boat down there?

[crickets chirping]

We're gonna capture
it so Freddy and I

can sail it back home.

[crickets chirping]
[playful music]

You two come back here!

If you go by yourself, the
witch'll surely get you.

[playful music]
[audience laughs]

Okay okay, relax, the witch
doesn't know we're here.

Shh.

[playful dramatic music]

[electricity buzzing]

- Oh, Your Witchiness,

quick, they're going
to steal your boat!

- Steal my boat?
How do you know?

- I once swallowed
a crystal ball,

thought it was a big jellybean.

- Stop with the funny jokes,
you oversized chicken!

[gasps] They are trying
to steal my boat.

Those little grabbers.

- See, I told ya so.

♪ Nah nah nah nah nah ♪

Oh! [sobbing]

You don't love me,
no one loves me.

I'm a failure, you hear me,
a miserable, total failure.

- Stop crying, your tears
will cause a short circuit.

[machinery buzzing]
[playful music]

[gong booms]

How about them crisp poultries?

[dramatic orchestral music]

[playful upbeat music]

- Hide, quick, the
guard's coming.

[playful energetic music]

[playful upbeat music]

[creature chuckles]

Shh, what's the
matter with you two?

The witch will hear you.

- I hear and see everything!

- Yeah, everything!
- And I see you're trying

to steal my boat, you
little ship nappers!

- Yeah, ship nappers-
- Will you shut up?

Stop, quick!
Hairy goat, stinging bee,

stop you three
'cause I say freeze.

- Nice goin', Witchiepoo.

- One of my better stunts.

All right, boy, I want
your golden flute.

Hand it over.

- How can he,
Chiefy, he's frozen.

- Well just don't stand
there, dummy, frisk him.

- He's clean.

He doesn't have it on him.

- Drat!
Double drat!

The flute must be back
in Pufnstuf's cave.

- How you gonna get him?

That's the one place
your magic doesn't work.

- Think, think, think!

Ah ha, I've got it,

I'll turn Jimmy into
a mechanical boy.

- A mechanical boy?
- Right,

and he'll do exactly as I say

and I'll send him
to get the flute.

- Oh boy, this I gotta see.

Go to it, Chiefy.

- Nuts and bolts,

screws and nails,

help me make my evil toy,

turn him into a mechanical boy!

[electricity zaps]
[thunder crashes]

Who are you?

- I'm a mechanical boy.

- Boy, that's great!

- No, he's too mechanical.

They're liable to get wise.

He needs some emotion.

Be happy.
- Happy. [laughs]

- Be sad.
- Sad. [cries]

- Be angry.
- Angry. [growls]

- Good, now go get Freddy Flute
and bring him to my castle.

You have 24 hours.

Do you understand?

- I understand, I
have 24 hours, bye.

[mechanics clicking]
[audience laughs]

- Gee, your terrific-

- Silence, Seymour, flattery
will get you somewhere.

[Witchiepoo cackles]

Now go pick up those
two frozen dumdums

and let's get outta here.

- Right, Chiefy, we'll take
'em back to the castle.

[Seymour humming happily]
[playful upbeat music]

[cheerful music]
[mechanics clicking]

- Jimmy, where have you been?

We missed you.

[mechanics clicking]

Jimmy, you feeling all right?

Jimmy, put me down,
what's happened to you?

Where are you taking me?

- I am to take you to my master.

- Jimmy, this is not
like you, what's wrong?

Who's your master?

- I am sorry, I cannot
give out that information.

[playful music]
[mechanics clicking]

- [Freddy] Help Pufnstuf,
something's wrong with Jimmy.

- Jimmy, what happened to you?

Why are you walkin' that way?

♪ I'm a mechanical boy ♪

♪ Like a mechanical toy ♪

♪ I follow directions,
whatever I'm told ♪

♪ I never get hot and
I never get cold ♪

♪ I never have lived
so I never grow old ♪

♪ That's because I'm
a mechanical boy ♪

♪ I'm a mechanical boy ♪

♪ Like a mechanical toy ♪

♪ I do what I'm ordered
and never ask why ♪

♪ I never can laugh
and I never can cry ♪

♪ I never have lived
so I never shall die ♪

♪ That's because I'm a,
'cause I'm a, 'cause I'm a ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm a, 'cause
I'm a mechanical boy ♪

Oh my goodness,
Jimmy, what happened?

- Pufnstuf, do something!

Jimmy is sick.

- He's not sick, he acts
like he's under a spell.

It must be the witch.

- No one can stop me, I
must return to my master.

I have 24 hours.

- No Jimmy, stop.


It must be a time spell.

Jimmy, I'm taking you
to the clock people.

They know all about time spells.

- I am going to the castle.

- No Jimmy, no!

- I'd better get him to
the clock people fast.

- I must return to the
castle with Freddie Flute.

I have 24 hours.

- No Jimmy, stop!

Oh my.

- [chuckles] A beautiful
home is a beautiful [mutters]

Oh, oh, well now. [shuddering]

[house sneezes]

[audience laughs]

- [laughs] Oh my,

you ought to cover your door
when you sneeze. [laughs]

Brush, brush, clean
clean clean. [laughs]

Oh, ah yes, keep the place
all clean and bright and

[laughs] oh, hi Mayor, hi boy.

- Dr. Blinky, Jimmy
is under a time spell.

- Hm, now that you mention
it, he doesn't look too good.

Where are you taking him?

- To the clock people.

- Oh, smart move.

Also good thinking
[laughs] oh yes.

- Dr. Blinky, can you get
me out of Jimmy's hand?

- Oh my, that's a
tough assignment.

Now let me see, uh, ah
yes, how do you do, Jimmy?

Uh, shake hands.

- How do you do,
I have 24 hours.

- Oh, ow.
- Oh, sorry.

- But what are we
gonna do about Jimmy?

- Well, take him to
the clock people fast.

I'll keep Freddy here with me.

- Right, see you later.

- Bye, happy landing.

- Happy. [laughs]
[audience laughs]

- Come on, Freddy,
I'll keep you safe.

- Oh thank you, but I sure
am worried about Jimmy.

- Oh, he'll be all right,

those clock people know
what time it is. [laughs]

[clock chiming]
[whirring]

- So you see, Grandfather Clock,

we must break the
mechanical time spell

the witch put on Jimmy.

- What kind of time spell
are we talkin' about, sonny?

- Listen, Jimmy,
what's your problem?

- I have 24 hours, I must
bring Freddy to the castle.

- A 24 hour spell, huh?

Get the time machine ready.

- Yes Grandfather.

- Oh, the poor boy,
he looks so sad.

- Sad. [squeaky crying]

- Please don't cry,

I'll fix you a bowl
of chicken clock soup.

- Please, Mother, not now.

- Jimmy's so cute, he looks
like a shockproof watch

I once spent time with.

You're cute too.

What are you doing
tonight, chubby?

- Now now, girl-

- Time machine's ready,
Grandfather, it's ready.

- Golly, I hope
it's not dangerous.

- Nothin' to worry about, sonny.

- Come on, right
this way, Jimmy.

- I must go to the castle.

- Oh uh, this is a shortcut.

- Oh fuss and feathers,

they've got Jimmy
in the clock house.

I've got to stop those clock
people, those darn nosy bodies.

Why don't they stick to
their ticks and tocks?

- Oh!
- [gasps] You noodlehead,

you've changed channels.

- Wait, Witchiepoo, I
found Freddie Flute.

He's at Dr. Blinky's, look.

- [gasps] You're right.

Good bird.

Keep it up and I'll treat
you to a nose job. [cackles]

I'll be back with
a toot and a flash.

- Bye.

[playful music]
[audience laughing]

- Golly, that's the most
stupendous thing I've ever seen.

It's not gonna hurt him, is it?

- Not a bit sonny.

Matter of fact, he'll
come out happy as a clam.

- Happy. [laughs]

- Jumping jellybeans,
Grandfather, look at him.

Hurry up, please do what
you have to do, quick.

- We're all ready to start.

Contact.
[Jimmy laughing]

I'm going to speed
up time for Jimmy.

He's gonna become 24 hours
older in just 24 minutes.

- Jumping Jehoshaphat,
what then, Gramps?

- Then, the witch's
spell will be removed

and jimmy will be his old
self again, don't you know.

- Oh hurry, please hurry.

- [Grandfather] Stand
by everyone, here we go.

[machinery whirring]
[humming]

[dramatic music]

[cheerful upbeat music]
[broom whirring]

[playful music]
[audience laughing]

[liquid burbling]

[door clatters]
[Witchiepoo gasps]

- Where is he?

Where did you hide
my golden flute?

- We told you,
Freddy's not here.

- Leave us alone, I'll
get mad and burn your wig.

- Quiet, you drip,
you can't fool me.

I know Freddy Flute's here

and you'd better tell
me where he is or else!

I know you're here, Freddy.

Come out, come out
wherever you are.

Yetch.
[audience laughs]

That's where you must be.

I'll find you.
[items clattering]

- What a time for Dr. Blinky
to be out on a house call.

[machinery whirring]

[alarm rings]

- Right on time.

Let's see what we've got.

- I wonder if it
worked, Grandfather.

- Like clockwork.
- Jimmy, you all right?

Jimmy, speak to me,
how do you feel?

- I feel great.

Where am I?

What's been happening?

- If I told you, you
wouldn't believe me.

- Where's Freddy?

- [Speaker] Look darling,
here's Cling and Clang.

- Wait a minute, Cling and
Clang, what's the matter?

[audience laughs]

The witch?

[audience laughs]

Dr. Blinky?

Jumping Jupiter.

Jimmy, come on,
Freddy's at Dr. Blinky's

and the witch is there.

- Oh no, let's go!

- Thanks, Grandfather, bye.

Hurry, hurry!

- [Witchiepoo]
Drat, where are you?

- Charlie, quick, call her over.

- What are you going to do?

- [Candle] You'll see.

- Witchie, come here, I
have the flute, look in me.

- Now you're clapping your
pages, cookie. [laughs]

Well, where is it?

- In here.

[book thuds]
[Witchiepoo hollering]

- Knock off.

- You bent my nose!

- Get lost or I'll
drip hot wax on it.

- I've got Freddy, look in me.

- You'd better not fool me.

[book comps]
Ow, oh!

Let go or I'll give you
a sh*t in your index!

Oh, oh oh.

Watch that, you deadbeat.

- We must have a bite
together again sometime.

- Why don't you look in
me, maybe I have the flute.

- You're not going to
fool me again. [chuckles]

[cackling] I bet you're
the one that has him.

[liquid blurbs]
[Witchiepoo gasps]

[expl*si*n blasts]
[audience laughs]

There you are.

Ah, I've got you
now, my gold dearie.

- [Freddy] Oh no
no, please help!

- Put him down, put him down!

- The witch has Freddy!
- She's getting away!

- Hey you witch, put him back!

- [Freddy] Help, help!

- Shout all you want
to, no one can hear you.

I've got you at last.

- We got you, witch!
- Stop!

Or I'll turn him into
a French fried flute!

- [Freddy] Let me go, please!

- What are we gonna do?

- I've got an idea,
get her attention.

- I finally got you,
my little fluty cutie.

- Pardon me, my good woman,

as mayor of Living
Island, I'd like-

- Hold it, buster!

Move again and I'll turn
you into a potato bug.

- [Pufnstuf] Now
madame, as mayor,

I order you to cease and desist.

- Out of my way, you
jolly green dumdum.

[witch shrieks]
[house beginning to sneeze]

What's goin' on?

[house beginning to sneeze]

[house sneezes]

- Oh!
- Gotcha.

You all right, Freddy?

- [Freddy] Now I am.

Zacks and Zounds,
where's my wand?

My wand?
- Your wand?

- Get away with this!
- Hurry, hurry,

quick, everybody duck, duck!

[house beginning to sneeze]

[house sneezes]
[witch screams]

[playful upbeat music]

♪ I'm a mechanical boy ♪

♪ Like a mechanical toy ♪

♪ I do as I'm ordered
and never ask why ♪

♪ I never can laugh
and I never can cry ♪

♪ I never have lived
so I never shall die ♪

♪ That's because I'm a,
'cause I'm a, 'cause I'm a, ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm a, 'cause
I'm a mechanical boy ♪

[upbeat carefree music]

♪ Woo, I got you
got, everybody got ♪

♪ Someone who cares, by
the name of H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Where do you go when
things get rough ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf, well
you can't do a little ♪

♪ 'Cause you can't do enough ♪

- See you next week!

- I sure hope so.
[audience applauding]

[playful music]