01x10 - The Horse with the Golden Throat

[bunniefuu]

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Who's your friend
when things get rough ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Can't do a little 'cause
you can't do enough ♪

♪ Once upon a summertime
just a dream from yesterday ♪

♪ A boy and his
magic golden flute ♪

♪ Heard a boat
from off the bay ♪

♪ Come and play with me
Jimmy come and play with me ♪

♪ And I will take you on a
trip far across the sea ♪

♪ But the boat belonged
to a kooky old witch ♪

♪ Who had in mind
the flute to snitch ♪

♪ From her Vroom
Broom in the sky ♪

♪ She watched her
plans materialize ♪

♪ She waved her wand ♪

♪ The beautiful boat was gone ♪

♪ The skies grew dark
the sea grew rough ♪

♪ And the boat sailed
on and on and on ♪

♪ And on and on and on ♪

♪ But Pufnstuf
was watching too ♪

♪ And knew exactly what to do ♪

♪ He saw the witch's
bold att*ck ♪

♪ And as the boy
was fighting back ♪

♪ He called his rescue racer
crew as often they rehearsed ♪

♪ And off to save
the boy they flew ♪

♪ But who would
get there first ♪

♪ But now the boy
had washed ashore ♪

♪ Puf arrived to save the day ♪

♪ Which made the witch
so mad and sore ♪

♪ She shook her fist
and screamed away ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Who's your friend
when things get rough ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Can't do a little 'cause
you can't do enough ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ He's your friend
when things get rough ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Can't do a little 'cause
he can't do enough ♪

[quirky music]

[horse jabbering]
[audience laughing]

- I have a funny feeling you're
trying to tell me something

my polka dotted friend.

- I've practicing chewing.

Just in case I ever
get anything to eat.

[audience laughing]

- If you wanna eat like a horse,

go out and work like
a horse. Get a job.

- I'm too weak to work.

I need food, food.

- Hold it, here comes
a couple of live ones.

[audience laughing]

Here munch on these
you sagging nag.

- Oh yummy, carrots. My
favorite snick snack.

- Well, if it isn't my old
friend, Mayor Pufnstuf,

bright-eyed, bushy-tailed,

and loaded with
gold buttons I hope.

How's young Jimmy
and Freddy Flute?

- Hi, Ludicrous.

- We're fine, thank you.

- What are you gonna try and
sell us this time, Ludicrous?

[horse crunching]

- I tell you what
my fine friend,

I've got a red hot
special today right here.

Would you like to buy
a stereo sea shell

that brings you continuous
and glorious music of the sea,

merely by holding
it to your ear?

Here, take a listen my boy.

- Excuse me for
a second, Freddy.

[Ludicrous humming]
[audience laughing]

- Hold it, Ludicrous, who
are you trying to hoodwink?

That was you humming.

You better give him back his
seashell, Jimmy, and let's go.

- Thanks for the concert.

I'm coming Pufnstuf,
let me get Freddy.

- [Ludicrous] What's
your hurry, amigos,

I've got something
else even more amazing.

- Pufnstuf, Freddy's
gone. He's disappeared.

- Gone? What do you mean,
gone? Where could he go?

- I put him down on the counter.

- Where's Freddy? Horsey,
did you see where he went?

- No, I didn't see anything,

[whistle blowing]

I was too busy
eating my carrots.

[audience laughing]

- What's that whistle?

- What whistle?

[whistle blowing]
[audience laughing]

- That whistle, it
came from inside him.

He swallowed Freddy.

Hello down there. Freddy,
are you all right?

- [Freddy] Help, Jimmy,
get me out of here!

- Jumping jellybeans,
he did swallow Freddy.

- You stupid nag, you
ate up a customer.

- I didn't see him [whistle
blowing] on the counter,

[whistle blowing]
honest I didn't.

- Hold still please.

Freddy, are you okay?

- [Freddy] I'm okay
but get me out of here,

I'm surrounded by carrots.

[audience laughing]

- Okay, Horsey, now give him
back. Cough, come on, cough.

[Horsey coughing]
[whistle blowing]

[audience laughing]

Come on, you can cough
harder than that, come on.

- I'm trying. [whistle blowing]

I'm trying. [whistle blowing]

- Come on Pufnstuf, help me.

- Excuse us, Horsey but
we've got to get Freddy out.

Come on Horsey, cough, cough.

[Horsey coughing]
[whistle blowing]

- Hang on, Freddy, we'll
think of something.

- [Freddy] Hurry please!

- Yeah, hurry,
get him out of me.

- It's no use.

There's only one thing to do,

we've got to take
him to Dr. Blinky's.

- Dr. Blinky's,
that's a great idea.

- No, no, you'll never get
me to go to that duck doctor.

- What's a duck doctor?

- A quack.

[audience laughing]

I'm getting out of here!

[dramatic music]

- No, wait, Horsey stop!

[audience laughing]

- He's running away with Freddy.

- Stop! Come back!

- As mayor, I order you to
halt. Halt Horsey, halt!

[audience laughing]
[dramatic music]

- Kinda hope they
don't catch him.

A whistling horse,
should make a fortune.

I could star in a
musical western.

[dramatic music]

[quirky music]

- Hurry, Witchiepoo,
it's Freddy Flute,

the Polka-dotted Horse
swallowed your golden flute.

[springy music]

- Ah-ha, there's that nitwit nag

and he's approaching
my evil trees.

I'll fix that.

[radio statics]

Calling all evil trees,
calling all evil trees,

do you read me?

- You're coming in
loud and clear, Chiefy.

- Good, now here this, Polka
dot Horse is coming through.

He swallowed Freddy Flute.
Grab him. I repeat grab him.

Hold him for me, over and out.

- Roger.

- Witchiepoo.

- Over and out.

- That lame horse
will soon be mine

and so will that gorgeous flute.

I'll scare it right out of him

with my new super
duper magic wand.

[wand exploding]
[witch screaming]

Darn, I've just got to
call in a wand repairman.

[audience laughing]

Quick, Seymour, get the smelling
salts for our punchy friend

and let me know when
that horse arrives.

I'm off to get prettied up.

[Witch singing]
[audience laughing]

- Okay, boys, you heard Witchie.

We've got to grab that nag.

- I think that I shall never see

a horse that can escape a tree.

[audience laughing]

- Stop with that dumb
poetry, will you?

We've got work to do.

- Shh, I think I
hear him coming.

- Freeze, trees.

[audience laughing]

[Horsey panting and whistling]

- Well, well, if it
isn't our old friend

the polka-dotted horse.

- Aye, spotty, want to
rub your back against me?

- [Horsey stuttering]
No, thank you.

I'll just be on my way.

- What's your hurry? Say,
that's a cute sounding whistle.

How do you do that?

- Well, anyone can do
it. [whistle blowing]

See, it's easy.
[whistle blowing]

- It sounded to me that
you swallowed a whistle

or maybe a flute.

- Grab him boys!

- No, no, stop! Stop!

- Look Puf, they got Horsey.

- Let him go. Get your
branches off that horse.

- Let me go!

[all fighting]
[quirky noise]

- Ow, my bark.

- Stop. Cut that out.

- Tie 'em Puf, get
something to tie 'em.

Let go of me.

- Take that you big oaf.

[quirky noises]

- I think that I shall never see

a coward run as fast as me.

- [Puf] Hurry, Jimmy. Get going.

- Quick, Horsey, this way.

- You ought to be ashamed of
yourself, you rotten trees.

You guys had enough
or do you want another

bust in your bark?

[audience laughing]

- We quit, you win.

- My roots are k*lling me.

- Never mind your roots, he
made a hose out of my nose.

[audience laughing]
[dramatic music]

[Horsey panting and whistling]

- Are you all right?

- I'm fine. I hope Freddy
wasn't too shaken up.

- I better find out. Freddy,
you still okay down there?

- [Freddy] I'm okay, but what
was all that bouncing around?

- We were getting away
from the evil trees.

But, don't worry, we're
going to go to Dr. Blinky's

and get you out right now.

- Hold on there.
Did I hear you say

you're taking me to
that quack doctor?

[whistle blowing]
[audience laughing]

- Well, if you don't want
to go, that's all right.

- Oh, good. That's a
[whistle blowing] relief.

- Fine, then we'll
just leave you here

for the witch and her
trees to grab you.

- Oh no! Oh, not that. I'll go.

[whistle blowing] Wait for me.

[audience laughing]

- Witchieness, come quick!
The evil trees blew it.

- How could they blow it?
It was such a simple snatch.

I'll turn those wooden
weirdos into tooth picks

Look at those buttinskis,

they're taking that nitwit
nag to Dr. Blinky's.

I've got to think
of something, fast.

- Like what, Chiefy?

- Questions,
questions, questions.

It's always questions.

When are you going to start
coming up with some answers?

[quirky noise]

- Greetings, Mayor Pufnstuf.

- Good to see you
Pufy, what's new?

- Sorry, fellas. But
this isn't a social call.

It's an emergency.

- Emergency?

- Dr. Blinky, you've
got to do something.

The horse swallowed Freddy.

- Oh, oh, oh my. Well,
how did he do that?

Swallowed Freddy? Oh, that's
terrible. Bring him in.

Bring him in. How
did he do that?

- He thought he was a carrot.

You've got to do
something, please.

- Heavens, yes. I better
check his eyesight.

Say, "Ah".

[audience laughing]

- No, no doctor. Freddy's
inside him. He's in his stomach.

- You've got to get him out.

- Yes [whistle blowing] out.

- Good heavens, he
really is down there.

Now, hold still. Open your
mouth and say, "Neigh".

- Neigh. [whistle blowing]
Neigh. [whistle blowing]

- Oh my goodness, he's got an
advanced case of flute-itis

if I've ever seen one.

- Don't worry, Freddy. Dr.
Blinky will get you out.

- [Freddy] Tell him
to hurry, please.

- Let's get him over to
the operating table, quick.

- No, no, please
don't. I'm scared.

- Now, come on Horsey,
do as the doctor says.

- No. No, I won't. You can't
[whistle blowing] make me.

Watch my head. Whoops.
Careful, careful.

Don't pinch my tail. Watch
it. Oh. Oh. Watch it.

- We're watching it,
we're watching it.

- Careful we don't jiggle Freddy

- Oh, why did I do it?
I'll never swallow another

[whistle blowing] flute
as long as I live.

- Shh, quiet.

- How's Freddy
doing? Is he okay?

- Oh, he's fine. Just whistling
to keep up his courage.

[audience laughing]

- What are you going to do now?

How are you going to get
him out? Tell us. Tell us.

- I wish I knew. This is my
first flute removal case.

- Oh, I'm getting [whistle
blowing] out of here.

- Let the doc help you
horse and by tomorrow,

you'll be as healthy as I am.

[audience laughing]

- That's what I'm [whistle
blowing] afraid of.

[audience laughing]

- Doc, there's a case like
this in me on page 68.

They didn't operate, they
scared it out of him.

- If that's no good,
let me give him a little

ha ha and tickle it out of him.

- No, no, Doc. I've
really got a great idea

how to get Freddy out, see.

- Quiet, I'm the doctor here.

I'm the one that went to
medical school, not you.

Now, "quiet", I said. Quiet.

- Ah, Doc.

- Quiet, or leave.

- Good idea. I'm
leaving. Goodbye.

[whistle blowing]
[audience laughing]

- No, no, get back your sick.

Oh my, oh.
[Jimmy shouting]

- Help, help, help,
let me go, let me go.

Watch it, watch it.
Let me, let go of me.

- Witchiepoo, are you
just going to stand there?

- That's right.

Dr. Blinky will get the
flute out of that horse.

Just like I figured he would.

He'll do all the work for me and

save the wear and
tear on my wand.

- How you gonna make
the grab, Chiefy?

- Easy, I'll grab the flute
and leave them holding the nag.

[evil cackling]
[audience laughing]

Get it? Holding the
bag, holding the nag?

[Witch laughing]
[bouncing music]

- Let's see. No, that's not it.

Oh, oh, no that's not it.

Oh, here it, nope,
that's not it.

- Hurry, Doc.

- What are you looking for?

- What else? A flute remover.

I must have one here someplace.

[audience laughing]

- No, please. [whistle
blowing] Let me go.

- Hey, Doc, listen to me.

I tell ya I know how to
get the flute out, see.

- If I told you once, I
told you a hundred times.

Silence, please silence.

[whistle blowing] I must
have absolute silence.

Oh, I don't want
to say anything,

but this horse suddenly
grew a long, hairy tongue.

- That's not his tongue, Doc.

- Oh, for goodness
sake [Doc laughs]

I must get my glasses fixed.

[audience laughs]

- Now, behave yourself, Horsey.

- Hold him still you guys.

- We're trying. Now, please,
you've got to get Freddy out.

- Well, I'm trying to.
Oops, I dropped my-

Let's see now. I have
just what I need here.

This will do it, this will.

Now, let's see. Open
your mouth wide.

Oh, goodness, me. Amazing,
a horse with two tails.

[audience laughing]

- No, Doc. He moved again.
Now hold still, Horsey.

- [Witch] Mercy, mercy,
emergency. Help, Doctor.

- What's that?

- Mercy, mercy, help
Doctor, help. Help.

- Help. Is there
a doctor in there?

- We need a doctor.

[quirky noise]

- If we're going to get
inside and grab that flute,

you're going to need to
be a lot sicker than that.

- Oh

- Mercy, help, help.

- [Seymour] Oh, I'm
sick. [Seymour crying]

- Hark, the cry of mercy.

I am a doctor, I
must go, immediately.

- Wait, what about Freddy?

- Doc, you've got to
get Freddy out of Horse.

- I'll be back in an instant.
You heard, it's an emergency.

- Let him go. I can [whistle
blowing] wait a year or two.

[audience laughing]

- [Witch] Help. Is there
a doctor in the house?

- Coming, coming.

- What a day. Busy, busy, busy.

[audience laughing]

[Seymour crying]

- Oh, this is terrible,
awful, frightful.

I must do something right away.

[Seymour crying]

- You poor dear. You must
have some terrible disease

to look that bad.

- I'm not the one who's
sick, you dope. He is.

The poor, little, sweet,
angel on the stretcher.

- Oh, well, you
could have fooled me.

Just a minute here,
you're the witch.

- Of course I'm the witch.

But, this is a truce, and I've
come on an errand of mercy.

Please, Doctor, the patient.

- Oh, the poor fellow.

My goodness, he looks
worse than you do.

He must really be sick.

- Cut it out. [whistle
blowing] Hey, cut it out.

Let me out. [whistle blowing]
Let me out, will you.

- Not until we get
Freddy out of you.

Freddy, the doctor
will be right back.

- [Freddy] Tell him to hurry.

- Pufnstuf, what're
we going to do?

- If someone will just listen
to me, I know what to do, see.

- Okay, Fireplace,
what's your idea.

- Smoke.

- Smoke?

- Sure, I'll puff my
cigar real hard, see.

Fill up the place
with smoke, see.

And the horse will
cough up Freddy, see.

- Gosh, you think it'll work?

- Watch me. Here I go.

[audience laughing]

- No, stop that. [coughing]

- Fireplace, cut that out.

We can't breath.

[coughing]
[whistle blowing]

- Please Doctor, don't you
think we should take him inside?

Come, we'll carry him.

- We better not move him.
I better take his pulse.

[Seymour crying]

- Right, one, two,
three, four, five, six.

I hope he's not suffering
from dish pan hands,

or we're really in trouble.

[audience laughing]

Let's see now.







[audience laughing]


Minus one. [audience laughing]

- That's mine.

Come on Doctor, let's get
this sicky inside your house.

Move, Orson.

- Yes, my Queen.

- I told you he's
too sick to be moved.

I'll take care of him out here.

Now you did it. I'll have to
take his pulse all over again.

I may have to operate
immediately, too.

[all coughing]
[whistle blowing]

- I need air.

- Hey, Fireplace,
inhale, inhale.

- My pages are being barbecued.

- It doesn't bother me. In
one ear and out my mouth.

[all coughing]
[whistle blowing]

- Fireplace, we're choking.
Turn off that smoke.

- Horsey, you better
get out of here.

Freddy must be choking. Hurry!

- [Puf] Hurry, hurry!

[all coughing]

- Air. [whistle blowing] Air.

- [Jimmy] Freddy!

[Freddy screaming]

- I got him. I got the golden
tooty flutey. [Witch laughing]

Oh, I know I had some great
magic, but this is ridiculous.

[Witch cackling]

- What's going on here?

- [Freddy] Jimmy, help!

- It's the witch and
she's got Freddy.

- Hand him over, madame.

- Like heck I will. Stand back,
all of you or I'll zap you.

Orson, Seymour, our fun is
done. Let's scoopa da boop.

- Hey, wait a minute,
you're supposed to be sick.

- I was, but you're such a
great doctor, I'm all better.

Thanks a heap.

- Watch out Witchie, the house.

- Oh no, it's going to sneeze.
Stop! I order you to stop.

- Hit the ground.

- Hurry, hurry.

[house sneezing]
[wind blowing]

[audience laughing]

- Let's get out of here.

- Stupid house, can't you cover
your door when you sneeze?

[house sneezing]
[Witch screaming]

[all laugh]

- I saw those red bloomers.

- Thank goodness your
house is allergic to smoke.

Now, where's Freddy? I
didn't see where he landed.

- I didn't see him either.

- Neither did I.

- Then what happened to him?

Last I saw he went flying
out of the witch's hand.

Puf, have you seen him?

- No, I didn't [whistle blowing]

[audience laughing]

Jimmy, I can't figure where
he went. [whistle blowing]

I haven't seen him any place.

- Oh, no. Here we go again.

[audience laughing]

- Back to the operating table.

- No, no please
[whistle blowing]

Oh, not that. Oh,
no. Oh, please no.

- Relax.

- Oh, my goodness. Oh no.
Oh no. Oh, I'm scared.

♪ You got someone
who loves you ♪

♪ You got someone who cares ♪

♪ You got someone who'll fix you
up if ever you need repairs ♪

♪ You got someone
who'll take the time ♪

♪ to listen to your prayers ♪

♪ I got you got everybody
you got someone who cares ♪

♪ By the name of H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Where you go when
things get rough ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf he
can't do a little ♪

♪ 'cause he can't do enough ♪

[bouncing music]

♪ I got you got everybody
you got someone who cares ♪

♪ By the name of H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Where you go when
things get rough ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf he
can't do a little ♪

♪ 'cause he can't do enough ♪

♪ See you next week. ♪

♪ I sure hope so. ♪

[audience cheering]
[bouncing music]