01x12 - Flute, Book and Candle

[bunniefuu]

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Who's your friend
when things get rough ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Can't do a little 'cause
he can't do enough ♪

♪ Once upon a summertime ♪

♪ Just a dream from yesterday ♪

♪ A boy and his
magic golden flute ♪

♪ Heard a boat
from off the bay ♪

♪ Come and play with me, Jimmy ♪

♪ Come and play with me ♪

♪ And I will take
you on a trip ♪

♪ Far across the sea ♪

♪ The boat belonged
to kooky old witch ♪

♪ Who had in mind
the flute to snitch ♪

♪ From her vroom
broom in the sky ♪

♪ She watched her
plans materialize ♪

♪ She waved her wand ♪

♪ The beautiful boat was gone ♪

♪ The skies drew dark ♪

♪ The sea grew rough ♪

♪ And the boat sailed on and
on and on and on and on ♪

♪ But Pufnstuf
was watching too ♪

♪ And knew exactly what to do ♪

♪ He saw the witch's
boat att*ck ♪

♪ And as the boy
was fighting back ♪

♪ He called his
rescue racer crew ♪

♪ As often they'd rehearsed ♪

♪ And off to save
the boy they flew ♪

♪ But who would
get there first ♪

♪ But now the boy
had washed ashore ♪

♪ Puff arrived to save the day ♪

♪ Which made the witch
so mad and sore ♪

♪ And so she shook her
first and screamed away ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Who's your friend
when things get rough ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Can't do a little 'cause
he can't do enough ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ He's your friend
when things get rough ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Can't do a little 'cause
you can't do enough ♪

[upbeat music]

- Golly, Freddie sure
is enjoying our picnic.

[upbeat music]

[Pufnstuf boings]

Cling and Clang, stop that now.

[audience laughing]

[wind howls]

- Look, it's the witch
on her vroom broom.

- Oh my.

[wind howls]

- She's gonna zap us.

- Run everybody.

Scatter, run in the forest.

- Don't anyone touch
the evil mushrooms.

- Run, quick, she's coming down.

- Hide me, Jimmy, hide me.

[wind howls]

[dramatic music]

- Someone's coming.

- Shh, it's that boy, Jimmy.

- Let's grab him for the witch.

- Yes, she'll be
thrilled with us.

- Hey, you trees, lay
off, let us grab him.

- Yeah, we'll turn
him into a mushroom

and give him to the witch.

- Nothing to it you
guys, we saw him first.

- Shh, quiet, quiet,
here he comes.

Not so fast, my young bucco,

the witch will want to
know what you're doing

in her forest.

- Let go, you big dumbos.

- Ow, ooh, ooh, ooh,
he's breaking my limb.

- I've got him.

You won't get away from
me, you little human.

- I won't, eh?

- Ouch.

Grab him, I think
he cracked my trunk.

- Quick, after him.

[gentle music]

- Ow.

- Jimmy.

- Grab that flute.

Touch him, quick, turn
him into one of us.

- I'm trying, I'm trying.

- Help me, Jimmy, help me.

Don't let them touch me.

Help, help.

- Freddie, watch out
for that mushroom.

Move, quick.

- Oh no.

[dramatic music]

- [Jimmy] Freddie.

- Too late, I've got him.

- No, don't, stop.

Freddie.

Freddie.

They turned you into a mushroom.

- Ha, ha, ha, yeah,
how about that?

- Freddie, are you all right?

Talk to me, please,
say something.

- Hey, buddy, what are you
doing with our little mushroom?

- Yeah, give him
back, he's one of us.

- He's not, he's
my friend Freddie,

and you're never
gonna get to keep him.

- Hey, trees grab him.

- Stop.

Come back.

- Grab him.

- Run, run.

- Grab him, hurry.

[dramatic music]

- Pufnstuf, Pufnstuf, help.

- What is it, Jimmy?

- Look what's
happened to Freddie,

they turned him into a mushroom.

- Golly, a mushroom?

Jimmy, I told you to be careful.

- I couldn't help it,

I tripped and fell
into a mushroom patch.

- Suffering catfish,
they touched him.

- Right.

And look at him,
he can't even talk.

- Come on, we've gotta go
to Dr. Blinky's right now.

Let's go, hurry,
this is terrible.

Dr. Blinky will think
of something to do.

[gentle music]

Dr. Blinky, hurry, you've
got to do something.

- Please, look at him,
Freddie's a mushroom.

- This is very serious,

let's see what I can find.

I must have something
here in my bag.

Let's see.

Ah, here it is, my
anti-mushroom powder.

- You've got an
anti-mushroom powder?

- No doctor worth his buttons
would be without some.

- Thank goodness.

I sure hope it works.

- Hurry, doctor, you must
save the little fellow.

Hurry.

- I'm hurrying.

Here goes.

Oh, that didn't work,

let's try this one.

Oh, I know what, I'll
try this one over here.

- Well try already.

- There.

[magic explodes]

[audience laughing]

- Nothing's happened,

Freddie's still a mushroom.

- Freddie, talk to me.

- That's funny, it
should have worked.

- Hey, doc, listen for
a minute, will you?

- Please, not now,
Charlie, let me think.

What did I do wrong?

- Doctor, please listen to me,

I know where you can find
an anti-mushroom spell.

- An anti-mushroom spell?

Tell us, tell us where.

Where, where?

Do you have it
inside your pages?

- Not inside my pages,

inside my brother's pages.

- I never knew he had a brother.

- Oh yes.

He doesn't talk much about him,

he's the black
book of the family.

[audience laughing]

- Right, he's a rotten book,

he went over to
the witch's side.

- So that's where the
witch gets her spells,

from your mean brother.

- She won't make a
move without looking

in the rotten book first.

- Then all we have to do
is sneak into the castle,

grab the book, tear out the page

with the anti-mushroom spell.

- Without the witch or
her guards catching us.

We don't have a chance.

- We can do it,
Puff, we must do it.

- I'll help.

- What can you do, Candle?

- I'm a good spy.

Get me in the castle,

let me talk to Rotten Book.

- That's a good idea.

- We've got to try,

we can't let Freddie
remain a mushroom.

- I'm willing to
try, Dr. Blinky,

mind if we take Candle with us?

- Sure, take him.

He should be able to help you,

he's pretty hot stuff.

- Take good care of
Freddie, Dr. Blinky.

Let's go Puff.

- Good luck and good hunting.

[audience laughing]

[dramatic music]

- Did you see those
goodie two shoes run

when I dive bombed them?

[Witchiepoo laughs]

Scared 'em right out of
their socks, didn't I?

- You're the scariest
witch I know.

- Hurry up and turn
on that machine

you feathered twerp,

I wanna see where that
rotten little kid went to.

[machine beeps]
[static buzzes]

- Something's wrong
with our machine.

- You bird brain, I thought
I told you to fix it?

- Well I told Seymour.

- You told Seymour.

Out of my way, bird
brain, let me try.

[machine beeps]

Oh fiddle faddle.

[machine boings]

[Witchiepoo yells]

I broke my foot.

[machine beeps]

- [Seymour] Ow, help, help.

- Orson, did you hear that
machine calling for help?

- [Orson] It's witch craft.

- I had nothing to do with that.

Somebody's in there.

Come out whoever you are

before I blast you...

Seymour, what are
you doing in there?

- I was fixing it,

and then someone kicked it,

and caused a short circuit.

- How many times I told you

never to kick that machine?

- I didn't kick the
machine, you did.

- Never mind freak beak,

and don't argue.

You're both a couple
of nincompoops,

and I'm fed up with both of you.

Now get out of here,
out of my sight.

Out, out and stay out.

[audience laughing]

[dramatic music]

- Mr. Candle, this is
the dangerous part.

It's not too late to
back out now, you know?

- [laughs] After living with
Dr. Blinky, I'm used to danger.

[audience laughing]

- Puff, how do I look?

- Very good, perfect.

Now, Jimmy, you really
have to act like a beggar

or else they'll
find out it's you,

and you're a goner.

- I'll make 'em believe me,

I've just got to.

- Cling and Clang,

you got your scary stuff ready?

Good boys.

- Great, here we go.

- Good luck, we'll
be hiding right here,

and be careful.

[dramatic music]

- Bye.

Shh.

[dramatic music]

- I'm fed up.

Boy, I wish I knew what
to do with that witch,

she's making our
lives miserable.

- Let's run away from home.

- Where can we go?

We have no food, no buttons,

we'll wind up like
that beggar over there.

Beggar?

- Ohms for the poor beggar,

ohms, ohms for the
poor and retched.

- Say there you beggar,

what are you doing around here?

- Please, sir, charity
for a starving man.

- We don't give
charity around here,

scram, get lost.

- Go.

- Wait, kind feathered sir,

how would you like
to buy my candle,

my only possession,
for a few buttons

or a crust of bread?

- I'm going to get that candle
as a present for the witch,

maybe that'll get
her off our backs.

- But we don't have any buttons.

- We don't need
any, dummy, watch.

Now see here my ragged fellow.

[upbeat music]

♪ I said to me self the
moment I saw your face sir ♪

♪ There's somebody
generous and kind ♪

♪ The sort who could make this
world a lovely place sir ♪

♪ A gent who's
educated and refined ♪

♪ I never have had the
knack to be successful ♪

♪ Me mother said I was
just a bit of a dunce ♪

♪ But I got the feeling ♪

♪ Everything's gonna
turn out right for once ♪

♪ The moment that
I saw your face ♪

♪ That truly spectacular ♪

♪ Reminds me a bit of Dracula ♪

♪ Really adorable ♪

♪ You've got to
admit it's horrible ♪

♪ Respectable, delectable ♪

♪ More than intellectual ♪

♪ Downright lovable face ♪

- Terrific.

- How about that, Seymour.

- The candle, the candle.

- Oh yeah, let me see that.

And what is it you want

for this miserable
piece of tallow?

- Oh just a few buttons

to buy some morsel of food.

- I'll tell you what I'll
give you for your candle,

a fat boot right
off this castle.

Guards, throw this bum out.

[audience laughing]

- [Jimmy] Hey, wait a minute.

- Boy, I gotta hand
it to you number two,

you got class,
you're pure rotten.

[audience laughing]

- [Jimmy] Bye now.

- Look at that beggar run.

- Good riddance, come on,
let's go see the old hag.

[audience laughing]

[dramatic music]

[ghosts boo]

[audience laughing]

[Jimmy laughs]

- Okay, you ghosts.

Nice work, boys, it
worked perfectly.

- Jumping new bottles, Jimmy,

for a moment up there I
thought you were a goner.

- So did I.

- But now that
Candle's in the castle,

let's go see how he's doing.

- Right, the guards are gone

so we can sneak around the side

to the witch's room.

[dramatic music]

- Come on, let's go.

Come on, come on, boys.

- Orson, Seymour, where are you?

I wanna kick you both goodnight.

[audience laughing]

Oh, I forgot I threw 'em out,

no wonder it's so
peaceful around here.

- [Orson And Seymour]
Surprise, surprise.

[Witchiepoo screams]

- What's the matter
with you two?

You know I scare easily.

Ooh, I ought to
fry your feathers

and singe your seats.

- Wait, Witchiepoo, we have
a little giftie for thee,

so shall have light wherever
you go, my queen of darkness.

- For me?

A present for little old me?

Why that's so thoughtful
my pretty p*ssy cats.

Now I can read and dance.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Oh my little baby fiends,

it makes moments
like this worth while

being a mommy.

[audience laughing]

- All right, already,
please don't overdo it.

Blech, fooie.

- Yeah, blech, fooie.

- Good night you drips,

I hope you get a
rotten night's rest

so you'll be real
mean in the morning.

[audience laughing]

Now, think gruesome twosome.

[Witchiepoo laughs]

[dramatic music]

[dramatic music continues]

Well rotten book, I'm too tired

to read anymore tonight.

[Witchiepoo yawns]

[audience laughing]

- Witchiepoo, Witchiepoo,

come on, Witchiepoo,

there's a good
spell on my page 67.

Witchiepoo.

[Witchiepoo snores]

How do you like that?

She's asleep.

- Psst.

- You calling me, drippy wick?

- Shh, lower your
voice, Rotten Book.

I got regards for
you from the outside.

- Yes, who?

- Your brother.

- My brother?

That drum wit stranger.

[audience laughing]

- [Candle] Well that
was a tough break.

- [Rotten] That's what he
gets for hanging around

with those other groans,
Pufnstuf, Jimmy, Dr. Blinky.

- [Candle] Look, Rotten, I'd
like to ask you something.

- Yes, what?

- Now that I work for the witch,

I'd like to learn all
about black magic,

like for instance
anti-mushroom spells.

- Hmm, easy,
anti-mushroom spells,

that's on my page 28.

Say, how come you want to know?

- Well, I, uh,
well, just in case,

you never know, I may not-

- Tell you what kid,

you really want
to hear something?

- Yeah, I sure do.

- Okay, just listen to this.

There's a spy in the castle.

- Where, where?

Who's a spy?

Where?

- Candle is a spy.

Candle is a spy.

[audience laughing]

- Candle's in trouble.

- Let's get in there quick.

- I deny everything.

- Well, well.

So Candle Speed is a spy.

- Well, er, I, uh,

that book is crazy,

I was just trying
to make friends,

that's it, that's all.

- Friends?

He wanted to know all about
the anti-mushroom spell.

He's a spy I tell you.

- Well we'll soon find out

if he's a spy or not.

Talk, my little spined friend,

or I'll melt you down

to a ball of wax.

[audience laughing]

- Let's go, Jimmy, come on.

- What's going on?

Strangers in the castle,

strangers in the castle.

- We got you, Miss Witch.

Grab her, Jimmy.

Hold her, hold her.

- Quick, Jimmy, it's on page 28

in Rotten Book.

- Go Jimmy, go.

[Rotten book screams]

- Oh, that smarts.

- Hurry Jimmy, hurry, go.

- [Witchiepoo] Help, get me up.

- Got it, the
anti-mushroom page.

- Nice work, Candle,

now let's get out of here.

- I'm in your hands,

have wick, will travel.

- [Witchiepoo] I
can't breathe, help.

- Help, guard, help.

Orson, Seymour.

[audience laughing]

- [Witchiepoo]
Help, I can't see,

it's dark, help.

- Get the dirty crook.

- Here he is.

- Grab him, Seymour.

- I'm grabbing, I'm grabbing.

- Sit on him, Seymour.

- Good idea.

There we got him.

Squash him good.

Hurry and get the witch,

she'll love us for this.

- Ooh, she sure will.

Ooh, wonderful.

Rotten Book, Rotten Book,

listen, where's the witch?

- You're sitting
on her, you idiot?

[audience laughing]

- Sitting on her?

- Oh no, I don't believe it.

- Well take a look, you dummies.

- Witchiepoo, is that you?

- That's right, dear boy.

Of all the stupid...

[door creaks]

Come back here you dumb, dumbs.

Ooh, when I get my hands on you

I'm gonna pulverize you.

Ooh, I'm gonna...

[Witchiepoo bangs]

[dramatic music]

- Timber.

[audience laughing]

- Look at him, just look at him.

Poor Freddie.

I've tried everything
to bring him back,

nothing works.

- Dr. Blinky, we've got it.

- Just in time.

Freddie's still a mushroom.

Hurry, quick.

- The anti-mushroom
page from Rotten Book.

- Nice work, Waxy.

- I was glad to help.

- Freddie looks terrible.

Read it, Dr. Blinky, quick.

- Yes.

Twas verdict with veltinclarm,

obtrusion with a [indistinct].

- Wait a minute.

- What?

- You were reading
it upside down.

- Ooh, how silly of me.

Let's see what the
potion calls for.

Take one hair from a
sea serpent's nose.

- Oh, schucks, guess
that's it, Jimmy.

- I've got it.

- You have?

Wow, that's a relief.

- It's lucky I never
throw anything away.

Now, next, let's see,

first toenail of
a two-toed sloth.

[audience laughing]

- Oh no, leave it to
my rotten brother.

Some spell.

- Go to it, doc.

- Now let's see, I just
picked that up yesterday

at the sloth store.

Next I need here a,

a cup of whole milk
from a new canoe.

We're in luck, just had
that delivered this morning.

[audience laughing]

next-

- There's more?

- Oh, certainly.

Shark's left eyebrow.

Let's see now.

Hmm, look here, oh, oh,
I have the right eyebrow.

Well don't worry I'll
mix it with my left hand.

[audience laughing]

- Please, just hurry.

- All right, Jimmy,
let's have Freddie.

- Please be careful,
he's in your hands now.

- Don't worry, he's
safe as a bug in a rug.

[audience laughing]

In we go.

Now, need some light.

I always thought these
matches were striking.

Oh there.

Now I just...

There.
[magic explodes]

[audience laughing]

- Freddie, Freddie, it's you.

- Freddie, say something.

- Freddie, are you all right?

Talk to me.

- Boy, I sure have a funny
mushroom taste in my mouth.

[audience laughing]

- He's all right,
Freddie's all right.

Dr. Blinky, you're terrific.

- Dr. Blinky, congratulations,

as Mayor I hereby declare
this to be Dr. Blinky Day.

- Thank you, Dr.
Blinky, thank you.

- Oh, please, no fuss,

just tossed buttons.

[audience laughing]

- Thank goodness, all
our troubles are over.

- Right, let's go
back to the cave.

Say, anyone see Cling and Clang?

- I think they stopped
to play in the forest.

[indistinct]

[audience laughing]

- No, no, they've been
changed into mushrooms.

- [Jimmy] Well, Dr.
Blinky, here we go again.

- Do something, quick.

- Cling and Clang,
come back, stop.

Come here.

- I hope I'm not
out of hot eyebrow.

[audience laughing]

♪ I said to me self the
moment I saw your face, sir ♪

♪ There's somebody
generous and kind ♪

♪ The sort who can make this
world a lovely place sir ♪

♪ A gent who's
educated and refined ♪

♪ I never have had the
knack to be successful ♪

♪ Me mother said I was
just a bit of a dunce ♪

♪ But I got the feeling ♪

♪ Everything's gonna
turn out right for once ♪

♪ The moment that
I saw your face ♪

♪ That truly spectacular ♪

♪ Reminds me a bit of Dracula ♪

♪ I got, you got,
everybody do got ♪

♪ Someone who cares ♪

♪ By the name of H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Where do you go when
things get rough ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Well you can't do a little
'cause you can't do enough ♪

- See you next week

- Keep those cards
and letters coming.

[audience applauding]

[upbeat music]