and now we would like to continue the
show with a bit more lavatory here man
[Music]
come try to leave the coffee please
well I'm trying to entertain these
lovely ladies and gentlemen if I had
tonight would it get you Birmingham
tomorrow morning of course it would
you're a laugh it's a bit too peaky
kinda leave the coffee as you'd like to
paint it the Irishman dissipates
bringing the cohosh baño
[Music]
yes yes well I'll do my best did you
know how obstinate he can be right yes
by career my Johnny
London's do you come in yes I'd like a
drink you like a drink
probably he'll talk a lot Scott I'm
sharing a large sausage oh yeah yo are
you resolved little tipple yeah man I
say straight away Johnny that this
script this comedy script is one of the
funniest I've ever read
in all my years at the BBC it's witty
it's visual it's earthy it's it's
terrific and by color we're gonna do it
the point is it's got something that
side it needs the social comment on the
bloody world we live in I mean you gotta
have a cow in life India is that exactly
it's really become we love it we are
going to do it and as I said it's
terrific it's it this script is really
really terrific but but what you're
about the same but know all about a box
I was saying the script is is really
terrific but there you go
I went away for a purpose John now I
think you'll agree would be BBC a little
pioneer in the field of commercial
company I mean look at the records tw3
snipped
what do you turn aside what I'm going to
say Johnny is the jewel got 27 blood is
in your script we've led the way I don't
mind how many blood did you have that's
fine by me
oh it reflects life and it I mean our
youth bloody they'll bloody time you're
welcome to use it in life and in the
script the only thing that worries me
about this script is the number of buns
you have
what's wrong with that so I've got 30
thumbs in the script 31 31 give or take
a bump those buns are all there for
a*t*matic accumulative effect oh you're
not going to tell me that bums don't
exist no I've got a bun you've got bad
people I've got abundant on it I would
not pretend the thumbs don't exist but
what I do ask you John they'll ask you
to finish them doesn't all the English
family living at home earning the
evening want to have a bear are 31
buttons in their faces in the pillars of
their own living room I think not I did
not I don't think we're ready yet to
break through the bum barrier don't give
me that only two years ago Kenneth pond
and face I knew
the line unscripted program over which
we have no control hello Johnny
that it is Bening Stellman indeed that
we allow above to slip out before 11
o'clock indeed what miracle happens are
11:00 in the evening the closest thing
out of a fun I know it's illogical you
know it's about you for me it is it
logical and believe me trust me I
believe that I've been leaving your
balance I'm going to fight tooth and
nail to preserve your balance I'll leave
as many bombs as I possibly can just me
alright but there's one other word which
run what is me even more and that is
your little use of the word for a ladies
chest you mean my comedic use of the
word your comedic doodle of that word
now this is the word you could use on a
nature program to describe the third of
the same name or you could use it in the
phrase tit for tat
no trouble at all but not in the way
that you use it Johnny I'm sorry
we just can't wear that it's impossible
I'm not topping them I'm not dropping
them they are a vital part of the idiom
of the Swift yes I would not be true to
myself as a writer if I stopped them the
whole flavor of this great will be
impaired if I sniffed out the Bristol's
now Johnny you put your finger on it
Bristol's Johnny yeah so we could get
away with Bristol's I think but crystals
don't have the impact I think crystals
are terrifically strong
I think restores are tremendous I think
you could use other rhyming slang and
see what you lose crystals are very good
you could use sands or painting or sands
of fighting what you're talking about
rhyming slang San Moritz fainting fits
right this burden of tight sweater goes
past a bloke says oh I got to get my
elastics round them fighting elastic
elastic bang bang very good I prefer
there is no III think it's better hair
great
it's more than just a comedy quantity of
any business
so social document I realize that search
your document it reflects the whole
cosmic spectrum of ads i guys I know
this Johnny I realize how important
these buns are to you not to mention
that not to mention did we possibly care
Johnny because I respect you as a writer
Pinkerton our passion I'm willing to
allow you order apprentice everybody's
no questions are right furthermore I'll
let you have them it is more than I've
done before you can have seven bubbles a
broken fuel a human do Johnny
I'll allow you one thing with you how
are you gonna pair
look I'll tell you about do or lose
somebody's if you give me an extra b*mb
at another well let's see if you lost
some bloody it might be peaceful why
don't we make it 17 glad is eight bombs
and a pair of do - so how many buddies
is that - about 10 blood is true but I'd
say right now I could lose 10 floods in
the pub sequence that gives me an extra
bump apply about with I really think
that the the thing in the launderette
really cries out for others look Johnny
if you feel you need another one of
those in the long breath I'll laugh I'll
raise that so that live you believe you
let me see that seven blood is nine
dollars and three of the other words
which you would have all righty one bow
[Music]
Johnny
why should we let one b*mb stand between
us I've can't we could discuss this in
another fashion thank you for being so
cooperative and I'll I'll whip this
script off to saute just as soon as I
can bottoms up
[Applause]