01x02 - Wedding Day

[bunniefuu]

No, I said I get him. I'll find him.

There you are, Jesus!

It's time.

I did catch a little peek of Marie,
and she looks absolutely stunning.

And a little impatient, so...

Just breathe, okay?
Just breathe.

Okay, so that jitters.
Hey, please,

everybody goes through that.

I was just like this
when Skyler and I got married.

Not exactly like that.

Feel better?

All right, let's go.

I can't go through with it.

What?

What do you mean?

I have a past...

sexually.

That's nothing,
everyone's got a past.

Mine is more... recent.

That doesn't mean any...
Well, how recent?

About four and a half hour.

Jesus!

No, not in the hat!
It's a rental.

- Geez...
- I know, I know, I'm sorry.

I was out bar-hopping
and I needed another drink.

What, you didn't get enough
from the bachelor party?

The Pink Zinfandel you were serving
just knocked me out.

"I can't really know how to throw
a party", I appreciate.

- I'm sorry, I didn't mean that.
- That's all right. Just don't...

Anyway,

so I get to this bar, it's downtown,
on Central, you know, the Ivory...

- It's a bird. I've been past it.
- I don't know.

Anyway, I was not looking forward,
but I made a...

love connection.

What does that mean?

Mouth love.

If you get my drill.

B.J. and the Bear minus the bear.

Like, "Baby, will you blow
my skin flute? I got a..."

Look... God.

Now, all right, Hank, listen to me.

So you broke bad one night,
big deal, who doesn't?

You move on from here, okay?

You are about to marry the woman
of your dreams, man.

Now, come on. Move forward.

Say no more, all right?

You're right.

- I get it out of my system.
- There you go.

And I'm gonna move on.

All right.

Well...

- Her name was Joan. She was...
- I don't wanna know.

She was beautiful.
She had legs up to her ears.

She was dressed like in the 40s.
And she was a singer there.

She sang, like, torch songs.

- Torch songs. Who sings torch songs?
- She did, and she was beautiful.

I'm talking about a bar full of guys,
and she decides to give me a hummer.

Go figure.

- A bar full of guys?
- She coulda picked anyone she wanted,

she gave me a hummer.

Torch songs?

- She was so inside them.
- Wait, what...

- What was the name of this place?
- I told you.

- It's called the Ivory something...
- Oh, Jesus.

Like a bird or something.
The Ivory...

The Ivory Swallow?

She knew everything.

She was clearly one of the most
amazing nights of my life.

You pictured it, now, won't you?

Let's get you married.

Let's go.

What was her last name?

- Crawford.
- Joan Crawford, like the movie star?

That's a coincidence.