04x07 - Soldier Returns Home

[bunniefuu]

♪ So when you're on the road ♪

♪ Say you’ll let me know
When you’re halfway home and ♪

♪ I can feel that change come
In the weather ♪

"Breaker, Breaker 1-9,

this is Jonathan Van Ness
coming in for Karamo Brown.

Who are we doing
this week? Over."

-Brandonn Mixon.
- Cute.

- Yeah.
-He is 28 years old, and he's a veteran.

- Okay.
-Gimme some more excitement!

He's a veteran!

I have always loved a man in uniform.

He's a young one.

You know, a young, punk kid.
I was chasing the women and cars.

That was my favorite thing to do.
It kind of led me into a bit of trouble,

so I decided to join the m*llitary, man.

"He's co-founder
of Veteran's Community Project...

-Oh!
-...which builds tiny houses

for homeless veterans."

- I love that. Right?
-I love a tiny house.

When it was just the four of us,
Brandonn was our construction guy.

Legitimately, our first adopted policy
was a dress code.

-And it was because of Brandonn.
-Oh, pants have to have a zipper.

Simple stuff you don't think
you have to say.

"Coveralls are not to be worn 24/7."

You know, I think he still
sees himself as this skater guy.

I'm not even sure he owns a skateboard.

I've never, ever wanted to shave
other than the m*llitary.

I call it my freedom beard.
I'm wearing my freedom on my face.

He's married to Alexa for nine years.

Whoa, he was, like,


Honey, I was living off
of Little Debbie snacks

that cost 25 cents from the gas station
when I was 19.

Lex is the most beautiful young lady
that I've ever met in my life.

That's my best friend, great mom.

"Brandonn started
some home improvement projects,

but he's been so focused helping veterans

and adjusting to his own civilian life,

that he's never finished what he started."

I think it's pretty ironic for Brandonn,
the guy who cranks out 13 full houses

in a month, can't finish a project
in his own house.

-Hi, guys.
-Dad's home! Yeah!

"Instead of cooking,
he hits up the drive-through."

Ooh, I need my French fries.

I can't cook, so we eat out
90% of the time.

But it's literally sitting at our ottoman.

"He considers the Army his family,

but five years ago,
he was medically discharged,

ending his m*llitary service
much sooner than he anticipated."

That's rough.

In 2011,
I was stationed out of Fort Bragg,

and I got orders to go to Afghanistan.

First time I'd ever deployed,
I threw luggage off of a C-5,

and the Velcro on my m*llitary
uniform actually

caught the Velcro on a bag.

It threw me off,
about 30 feet up off the ground.

That actually gave me
a traumatic brain injury,

and the doctor said, "Hey, they feel
that you're unfit for m*llitary duty."

Um... "We're gonna get you out medically."

It was just devastating. The m*llitary
didn't teach me for what was next.

What am I gonna do with my life?

I was met hardcore with depression
at that point.

My life would have not been saved
if it wasn't for

the Veteran's Community Project.
They had my back.

We been trying to grow
this nonprofit, working crazy hours.

Brandonn's been instrumental.

I've seen Brandonn just throw himself
into work 18 hour a day, whatever it is.

I feel that I owe it to the veterans.

I get so consumed in work
and not spending time with the family.

Novaa!

I haven't changed my first diaper until...

eh, maybe, like, three months ago,
and that was on my third kid.

-Yeah.
-Oh!

I think that Lex is very
understanding of the fact that,

even though Brandonn's off quite a bit,

he's off doing a really great thing.

They both, obviously, have a tremendous
amount of love and support for each other,

but communicating that
can be hard sometimes.

"Veteran's Community Project
is hosting a massive fundraiser

with about 700 people attending."

-Ooh, that's big.
- Yeah.

I'm gonna have to able to give a--
A thank-you speech to our donors.

Taking my wife to this event
is gonna be huge.

I wanna show her off as my queen.

She is my everything,
she is my best friend,

and I want her to be able to make that
statement, "This is Brandonn Mixon,

the father and husband."

"Let's help Brandonn
with his newest mission:

Operation Homefront."

Yeah!

- Oh, look at all the tiny homes.
- Look at this.

-Aww.
-Wow.

Cute.

Hi.

-How incredible is this?
-Hey.

-Brandon!
-Brandonn. Oh, nice.

How's it going?

He's the guy with the good hat.

What's up, man? Bobby.
Nice to meet you.

Can I touch your hair?

When you walked out here,
I didn't understand.

Cute.

Brandonn is serving me, like, Ben Affleck,
a little bit, like, post-Jen, honey.

-He's gorgeous.
-Hey, Bryan.

-Nice to meet you, Bryan.
-So, I'm the nominator,

he's the project, obviously, man.

We love a supportive friend.

Believe it or not,
I believe he cares about me.

Do you know in, like, India,
they do this really cute thing,

where straight men, like, hold hands,
like, just to be cute?

-We do that all the time.
-We do that. Him and I do it all the time.

Aw! We are breaking down toxic masculinity
in Missouri, okay.

So, you guys are literally
working as we speak.

What are you doing, exactly?

So, we have a grand opening coming up,
and we're laying grass

to try to get our brothers
and sisters in here.

-Love.
-Can we see one?

-Yeah.
-Show us.

Oh, my gosh.

-So these are tiny houses.
-They're so cool.

But she's got all the right amount
of space where you need her.

-Check out the bathroom.
-Love the sliding door.

-It really is quite large.
- It's 240.

-Square feet?
-Yup.

-Love.
-For a New Yorker,

this is a big-size home.

I know you got work to do here,
but we really want to see your house.

-It's a little dirty, but all right.
-It's fine.

-It's fine.
-You have no idea what we've seen.

We're non-judgmental queens.

-Look at your gorgeous house.
- Thank you.

Okay, let's go. Let's dash.

All right.
You guys sure you can handle it?

Yes!

We were born ready.

Gorgeous! Hi!

-Hi!
-Hi, Momma.

-Hi, I'm Bobby.
-Alexa.

Are you into other people
holding you or not so much?

-I get it. Me either.
-He just woke up. Look, there's daddy.

-Thank you. What's your name?
-Daddy!

-Ashtonn?
-I like that.

It's an impressive home,

-but I see some unfinished projects.
-Oh, yeah. Little bit of unfinished.

-Um...
-Eh.... the... uh...

He has, like,
a literal abstract peen.

I mean it's literally
balls to the wall on the wall.

I see a heart.

They're just dirty-minded.
That's why they see something different.

I see a heart. They all see...

Georgia O'Keefe
made a career out of these.

Is this what we would call
the laundry room?

My actual laundry room's really small,
so we actually iron in here.

-So family room....
-So, you iron, fold and store....

Here. That's our table.
Come on. We'll show them our room.

Look at all the toys you've got.

-Oh, my gosh!
-Wow!

This is a boy's room. You like baseball?

-Is that your favorite sport?
- Yeah.

Oh, my gosh.

Look how happy they look.

There's a unicorn in our house.

-Is this how you wear it?

No. The eyes are right here.

-Oh, there you go.
-Wow!

-Whose room is this?
-My dad's.

This is the master bedroom
and a camping site as well.

- Yes, for the kids.
- Got it!

Again.

-Yeah.

-They are very sweet.

Can't be intimate with your husband
when your children are sittin' around.

Okay, Mom,
the kids have their own rooms.

Yes. They have their rooms upstairs.

- Okay.
-But they don't sleep in it.

- Would you like your room back?
-Yes.

I have definitely expressed
my need for them to be upstairs,

and he still would rather have them
down here.

When did it start?

Them sleeping...
Oh, when Ashtonn was born.

Wow! This is quite the shower, Brandonn.

-Wow!
-What's going on in there?

This is exactly
what we've been talking about,

like, the beginning of something,
and then.... Yeah.

Um, you have no toilet.

If I need to go, do I just take
the cap off the pipe, and then....

-Yes. Yep!
-...pop a squat?

I think this is mold.

So, tell me what happens
in the morning?

You're minding your own business,
you wake up.

I have to take a shower first.
I'm a... I'm a shower guy.

And then I comb my hair,

-but I always put a hat on.
-Why?

I... I don't know. I--

You do it to protect your face
from the sun or something?

No, it's just a m*llitary thing.

Usually, I'll put, um, oil in.

- Beard oil while you're wet.
-Try to put oil. Yep.

-I love your beard.
-This is as long as it's ever been.

Everybody's like, "Oh, cut it." But I got
a double chin under there, I don't like--.

-No, you don't.
-Yes, I do.

- Shh.
-I'm fluffy.

-You're not fluffy.
-I'm fluffy.

Don't make me make you take your shirt off
and hold me 'til the pain goes away.

-Oh, dude, I will work it.
-You're not fluffy.

-You're gorgeous.
-Thank you.

What's your favorite part
of the kitchen?

You like the cups? Why?
What do you put in here?

-Cereal?
-Yes!

-What's your favorite cereal?

Brandonn was 18
when he went to the m*llitary, right?

Yes. We got together
after he got done with basic training.

So, what has it been like for you
since he's come back in the family?

It's been a struggle.

I got pregnant with Ashtonn
when he got back,

and so it went from deployment to, um...

mom, family.

And adjustment from m*llitary life to
civilian life is really, really difficult.

He kinda stays secluded when it comes
to talking about his feelings

and talking about things.

And so, it's kind of just been
a slow process since 2013.

So, it's about five
to six years of him just

-trying to figure out what's going on.
-Yeah.

The wood does not run under this.

How would you like him to be more
involved with you and the family?

Coming home a lot earlier from work,

'cause I know he's really big
with his job and stuff.

'Cause he gives a lot of time
to the nonprofit.

Yes. We never have the time
to just sit down and unwind

to kinda talk about our day
or talk to each other.

I know you have to feel stressed
and overwhelmed, too.

Oh, yeah.
But, I mean, he really is perfect.

-To me, he is, at least, so...
- Yeah. Uh-huh. Okay.

We've been married for eight years,
and I still feel the same way.

-Whoo! Play.
-Yes!

-Alley-oop.
-I caught it!

You did!

You preparing a meal,

that's something maybe
you don't do with your family

-as much as you'd like to or...
-I don't.

I mean,
that's a really important thing to me.

Growing up,
my mom always cooked home-cooked meals.

And to me, that was something that I--
Always made me smile.

I always just remember always running
up to the table, man.

And I haven't given my family
that opportunity.

Like, that's what I wanna recreate.

-We're gonna Norman Rockwell this.
-Dude,

and just like,
"Here, Ash, try some tomato paste."

-Or tomato sauce.
-Yes!

Oh, God! I'm gonna teach you!
I'm gonna teach you!

-They're very different.
-Tomato paste.

-They don't wanna want tomato paste.
-Okay.

My.

I do what you do.

I'm on construction sites.
I'm doing design.

And the last thing I wanna do
when I get home

-is do this.
- Yeah.

So, I really understand
the started projects

that are not finished,
'cause you're like... Ugh!

I kind of want it to be more like
more of an open style house

that you can entertain
a lot of people here, right?

I remember growing up at home having a--

a bar and bar stools,
right, sitting down at that,

Mom making dinner
and putting it on there, right.

We used to have one of those little
baby seats that, like,

clipped onto it or whatever,
so the kid's hanging off, you know.

I would get you an island,
and I'd get, like, an adult-sized

-baby seat for you to sit in.
-Totally down with it.

-Yeah, I think that would be amazing.

Your master suite
could use some lovin', I think.

- It does, in general.
-Maybe a toilet.

Yeah, "lovin'" in general, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Well, I think

that you would need to go
with your wife's suggestion

of making the kids sleep in their room.

-And I guarantee you,

-you'd be gettin' more lovin'.
-Oh, yeah.

So, I quite like the shirt you've got on.

-Your jeans... don't fit great.
-I've always been a skater boy, right.

So, like, growing up, to me
is like baggy jeans

-and baggy shirts...
-Yeah.

-...and cool black hoodies right?
-Was that the '90s?

-Maybe.
-It was the '90s.

-So style's moved on since then.
-I'm not trying to date myself now.

What do you want to look like?

I want somewhere in between
a beach surfer bro to...

sophisticated businessman.

I need to carry myself that way for VCP,

so we're getting into
a little bit more professional.

-I don't know how to do that, per se.
-Yeah. Okay.

That's why I always fight
with my buddies, you know.

-And you are doing speaking engagements.
-Yes, sir.

What are you wearing there?

-Golf shirts to golf pants.
-Okay. Okay.

-And then I only found two suits.
-I got asked that the other day.

What's a suit? I'm like,
"The thing with the penguin tail?"

-You don't have any suits.
-They laughed at me. I'm like. "No."

I don't know what you two
are talking about penguins in here,

but you've had enough of my friend's time.

-I have, I have. Thank you.
-I'm taking you, okay.

I'm gonna continue to throw things out.
Thanks!

How's it been thus far?

-I'm nervous.
-Really?

I'm scared. Opening myself up
makes me feel vulnerable,

and I don't-- don't wanna be vulnerable.

Have you always been like this where
you were protective of your feelings,

and not opening up?
'Cause you and your wife

-have known each other since you were 16.
-Yeah.

So, I've had some rough issues
with the m*llitary and--

and being left behind.

And, unfortunately, I felt like
my wife and I have grown apart,

because I haven't been able
to open up to her.

I don't want her to judge me.

I don't want to do anything
but see that woman smile.

I don't want to see anything
but my kids smile.

I don't know. I just--
I just don't wanna open up.

When you look at Brandonn,
it's, like, he has a house,

a wife, beautiful kids.

Why does he need our help?

-Hey, thanks for sharing, man.
-Yeah.

What I realized immediately is that
there's a lot of invisible struggles.

And that's what we need to tackle.

-Hi, friend.
-How's it going?

-Well, you tell me.

-What'd Karamo do to you?
-Nothin'.

Um... I've made myself
really vulnerable to you guys.

And I feel like this is like something
that can be used against me, right?

None of the information you've given us
is going to be used against you.

We're gonna use it
to truly, truly help you.

Through communication
is where the healing starts

for you, for your wife
and for your family.

I will be able to share a little bit of--
of my issues.

I have this wall built, and--
and I need this. I do.

-I really do.
- Good.

We love that.
That's what we want to hear.

I think where you'd get more of a benefit
out of us

is us preparing you to spend more time
with your wife,

your kids and knowing
how to communicate and open up

and making this feel like
this is the place you wanna be.

I know that you have this really
important event at the end of the week.

It's gonna be a huge fundraiser.
It's gonna have 700 plus people at it.

It's just an annual fundraiser,
coming out, drinking, having a good time.

On top of that, it's just a big thank you,
and I have to speak.

So, that's what's coming up.

And, hopefully, I'll be able
to take my wife on a date.

-That will be a date, I guess.
-Nice.

This week is gonna be exceptional.

Brandonn would never expect
any of his veterans

to live with unfinished projects at home.

But his wife, she's living with unfinished
projects all over the place.

So, I'm gonna make it feel like home,

a place where he can focus on just making
memories with his family.

There's a lot of very gorgeous
middle ground between the m*llitary style

and this kind of woodsman, like,

"I'm gonna hide behind my beard
and this hair.

I don't have time, don't know better,
I'm so busy." I need to keep the vibe

and keep the energy he's giving me,
but make it more maintainable for him.

Brandonn dresses like a skater boy.
He doesn't know how to dress.

But there is an expectation

in a professional workplace
to dress accordingly.

And so, I just want a more dressed-up
version of a casual Brandonn.

Brandonn's kids need to know
the difference between fast food

and a home-cooked meal.

And the good thing is,

Brandonn knows the importance of that,
because he had that growing up.

He needs help
connecting with his family

and feeling at home in his own house.

By opening up and being vulnerable...
doesn't mean that he's weak.

It actually means he's stronger.

- Shopping trip day.
-Yes.

-How you feeling about this?
-Excited.

I usually get the door. Thanks.

Going through your wardrobe,

you had a lot of casuals,
but nothing was really

more than just a T-shirt.

And so I wanna get you something
where you're gonna feel

really good about yourself
when you are representing.

-I wanna look sexy, want her proud of me.
-One of those is looking sexy! Okay good!

So what does that look like?

That timber guy that's cut down a tree
coming out, with the....

-The Brawny guy?
-Yeah.

Just kinda walkin' out being like,
"Hey baby. I love you." Right?

I'll still make sure you look masculine.
I don't think we need a lumberjack.

- Okay.
-Okay. All right.

Veterans Community Project.

When you are going to talk
to organizations about your business,

-you don't wanna turn up like this.
-Uh...

You only had two button up shirts
that I could find.

I just feel like when I wear 'em,
they're not sexy, right?

-They draw to my fluffiness.
-That what you call it, your fluffiness?

-I like that term.
-My fluffiness. Well, yeah.

-Okay. Can I-- Can I unzip this?
-Yeah.

Because... I don't see you as big.

I feel like I'm a pretty big dude.

You're actually really not.

Yeah, I feel like I need
to be in 2X everything.

-Do you see where my shoulder seam is?
-Yeah.

-Do you see where your shoulder seam is?
-Uh, yeah.

You know it's called a shoulder seam
because it should be on your shoulder?

This is way too big for you.

-I did not know that.
-Okay. There you go.

I know it may seem
like they're just clothes,

but if you're trying to encourage people

to support what you're doing,
you've gotta look more professional.

Clothes can make a difference
to your self-esteem.

And what he's doing for his
community is incredible.

-Do you wanna try a couple of looks?
-Yes.

I'm the most confused
about what goes with what.

I want him to feel like
he's dressed appropriately for that,

where he views himself
in a more positive light.

Always start with the thing
that you want to show off.

So, for me, I call it my hero piece.

-I did hear that you like camo.
-I do.

Okay. So this is gonna be your hero piece.

When I got dressed today,
I knew I wanted to wear this T-shirt

and then I built my outfit
around the thing that I know I wanna wear.

That's how I want you to think,
going forward.

I was like, "What's not
the least wrinkly today?"

-Let's never do that again.

- Brandonn?
- Yeah?

All right.

Do you see that this just looks
a little bit...

more dressed up than a T-shirt?

It does. It looks like, all right, like,

I'm a bad boy, but I'm
a professional-looking bad boy.

Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, gorg. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Can you now button this up
just a little bit?

I look at that guy in the mirror like,
"That guy's professional."

Now, like, I could go up and...
and raise a million dollars.

Yes! You look fantastic.

I don't have to worry
about my belly hangin' out.

I feel like, "All right, what's up?"

I like that.

Now you can see you're not fluffy.
Your clothes were.

Let's get you into your second look.

Take a look at yourself first.

I wanna adjust this slightly.

I wanted to put you in a layer,

because you are self-conscious
about a certain part of your body.

It creates a more of a straight line.

Nobody's gonna notice the thing
that you're wanting to hide.

It breaks it up.

-I feel fancy.
- Yeah.

-I feel like this is, like, a sexy dad.
-You do look sexy.

Those sneakers,

I don't think just because you wanna
dress up, you have to wear a formal shoe.

-I love the sneakers. Love it.
-Good. That makes me happy.

I didn't just want dressed-up.
I want you to look cool.

-I feel cool.
-What do you think your wife would say?

I want her to smack me on my ass
and be like, "You're hot."

If Jonathan were here,

-he would do that for you.
-Yes!

Because you do look damn great.

- Let's go tour this place, man.
-Heck, yeah.

This is the only World w*r I museum
there is in the United States.

-Have you been in here yet?
-I've been in here once.

It's the 100th anniversary
of the end of World w*r I.

This is a man who loves our country.

So, I'm bringing Brandonn to a place
where he can feel comfortable.

And, hopefully, he will open up.

Over the years, uniforms changing.

I own that jacket, that jacket
and that jacket.

Well, that's what's so funny
about fashion, like,

all these jackets come back out.
I'm like, "Wait,

-that's where that uniform came from."
-Seriously.

These little biplanes
and stuff, growing up

-I loved building model airplanes.
-Yeah.

And this really sparked a love for that.

That actually is what led me to aviation.

-Really?
-And the Army, yeah.

You said you were discharged.
Do you feel comfortable

- in telling me how?
-Yeah.

So, uh, as soon as I got into Afghanistan,
I actually got hurt,

landed on my left shoulder,
landed on my head.

I actually suffered
a traumatic brain injury.

They said, "Hey, Brandonn, to be honest,
we're gonna want get you out medically."

That was the worst news
I've ever gotten in my life.

And I literally
kind of broke down in tears

and hated myself, absolutely hated myself.

-Yeah.
-And then all my friends were kinda like,

"You're a faker. You just wanna go home."

That sent me down in more of a spiral.

-Yeah.
-Um, people were lookin' at me like,

"What, 21 years old,
and you're medically retired?"

Like, "What's wrong with you?" Right?

I literally started praying that

I would get in a car accident,
I would lose my arm, I would lose my leg

so people would look at me like,
"Okay, yeah, I get it."

You have this invisible injury

-that people can't see.
-Yeah.

To be honest with you, helping vets
every single day, that's just my medicine.

And I'm not into dr*gs or alcohol
or any of that other stuff.

I'm into helping veterans.

I love that you channeled your emotions
into doing actions for other people.

But it sounds like you feel
you're still being judged.

I mean, yeah. Absolutely right.

And that's why I feel like
I'm failing in life...

Who told you that you're failing?

I did.

Dude, and that bothers me.

I personally feel that I'm failing.

I'm failing as a... as a human being,
a man.

But why are you telling yourself
that you're failing?

-Your wife ever told you you're failing?
-No.

I'm able to hide my emotions.
Nobody believed in what I went through.

And not even being able
to convey that to my wife's been,

like, one of the hardest things.

You were judged once you got discharged
from the Army,

and so, you're just starting
to judge yourself.

And when you start to judge yourself,
it's just adding on negative pressures.

And you have to understand...

that judging yourself...

is not healthy for you.

I talked to your wife.

She still looks at you the same way
she did when you all met.

But this is one step
in the right direction

to making the home you want for yourself.

Letting go of that baggage,

that's what's gonna help Brandonn
be a better husband,

a better father and a better man
for himself.

I feel like 100 pounds have been lifted
off my shoulder.

Yeah.

Did we just become best friends?

-Oh, for life.
-Can we do karate in the garage?

Down!

But if you're gonna be my
true step-brother and best friends,

you have to know my secret handshake.
One, two, three.

-Okay. Now we're truly bonded for life.
-Let's go do karate in the garage.

We can do karate in the garage.

You doing what you do,

I thought you might wanna have a part
in doing something for the house.

-I do.
-You actually know what you're doing,

-so I don't mind you being here.
-All right.

So, no more peninsula,

no more kitchen
that can't be used for family.

We're gonna put a nice island
in there for you.

Awesome! Like growin' up,
I just remember sitting around

with the bar stool chairs
and eating the cheese dip

and, you know, watching the Chiefs game.

This is awesome.

So this is gonna be the base,
as I'm sure you already figured out.

I love a nice, loud drill.

-How do you like KC so far?
-I actually love it.

Um, I'm from Missouri.
I grew up down by Springfield.

-Really?
-Yeah, yeah.

So, how long have you lived here?

Three years now.
So, I bought this house for the lake.

Every single day driving home,
driving past at the end,

that's kind of like
a lift of stress, like...

-Yeah.
-"Wow! That's so peaceful."

Driving in this morning,
it was like "Wow, this is really

-a beautiful place for kids to grow up."
-Right?

Building this island, it's just a way

for him to put that focus
back on his family.

Sometimes just one small project
can help right the ship.

I know we spoke briefly
yesterday about...

the kids sleeping in your bedroom.

Tell me about that.

So, to me it's a safety thing.

In the m*llitary,
being vulnerable gets you k*lled.

That's why I'm like, "All right,
there's one more step

for somebody to try to get through
to get to my family or whatever."

I don't know why. My--

-My brain's still stuck in that, right?
-I get that.

But it's really kind of taking a toll
on my wife and I's relationship.

On top of that,
the stairs are really steep, so...

Right. So I'm gonna put a safety gate
at the top of those stairs for you.

Those stairs are steep.

Yes.

I can see wanting to make sure
your kids are safe,

to where you can instantly get to them.
But...

I hope that at some point,

you're able to work through that

to where you can focus
on your relationship with Alexa.

You know, like my husband and I,

we don't get to see each other
a lot right now.

And I make sure that the time that I do
get to spend with him,

I make the most of it.
And you're so busy right now,

even if it's literally the only time
you have to spend with each other is

asleep in bed, make the most of it.

It literally breaks my heart...

knowing that
that's what she texts me all the time,

"I just want to spend time with you."
And it's just like, how do I do that?

I don't expect it to happen tomorrow,

but, you know, even if maybe
on the weekends, you're like,

"Kids, you sleep upstairs
on the weekends." You know?

Try it out just a little bit.
You know, just to show her that,

you know, she's the most important thing.

Put her first at night.

A little touch on the foot
without Novaa in the middle.

That would, uh...

-that'd mean a lot to me, too.
-Yeah.

-Stand by. I'm just getting my little kit.
-Do you want me to carry that for you?

No! I'm an independent woman.
I can totally do it.

But I thank you
for being such a gentleman.

No!

-Come with me. Thank you!
-Thank you.

-Take your gorgeous seat.
-All right.

I think between Veterans Community Project

and being a young dad
and having so much to do,

I don't wanna, like, create a hair
maintenance situation for you,

where you gotta like do a Tan France
approach

and really, like,
blow dry your hair, like,

-every day, if you don't want to.
-Yeah.

See, one thing I'm instantly finding
when I'm looking at you is, like,

look at this face.

-Look at this handsome, gorgeous face.
-Really?

It's so much easier to hide it
under this, you know?

I'm just a fluffy dude.
I got a double chin. And it's like....

Like....

She has one too.
Like, we-- It's-- It's called "skin."

So, I do kind of wanna refine him
a little bit,

but I don't wanna say goodbye.

-Let's try it.
-Okay.

Beards are makeup for men.

And a lot of times
if we're serving, like, a little bit

of, like, double-chin realness,

a gorgeous little beard can
kind of, like, camouflage that

to give you the look of, like,
a very, like, regal general.

I mean, I'm obsessed with this face.
Let's go get your hair washed.

Did you know right when you met your wife
that she was gonna be your person?

Um... She had me at hello.

Oh, my God, babe,
that's really lovely.

The big thing was her smile
and her dimples.

-She's got the dimples.
-So you didn't even need to see her naked?

I know.

-Did you know her in high school?
-I did.

I cleaned her pool.

-You did?
-Yeah.

-With your shirt off?
-Uh....

With those, like, skateboarder shoes
and that, like, hairy chest?

-Yup.
-Okay.

And she was like, "Ooh!"

I saved her life with my dreamy eyes.

To be honest with you, you know, we've
kinda put each other on the back burner.

It's always about the kids.
And I got so much going on with VCP.

This last week has been makin' me...
encounter a lot.

It's-- It's hard.

You know, kinda keeping work separate
and then keeping your family separate,

I don't know if it's true
that you have to choose.

I just think that you have to, like,
re-zhuzh where your time is.

'Cause, like, I think
that there's enough Brandonn

to be the husband and the father

and the veterans activist.

There's enough of you to go around.

I had this therapist one time named Karen.

She told me that for me,
it's all about balance,

so that you can put one foot
in front of the other and show up

for not only yourself,
but the people that are depending on you.

There is a world
where you could wake your ass up

at five in the morning
with her, and, like,

-brew her ass some tea or something.
-Yeah.

Even if you splurge on a babysitter
for two hours

and just, like, "You go play upstairs.

Unless someone is bleeding,
do not come downstairs."

But no, I'm with you.

Hopefully soon
in the next couple of weeks, I--

I can take a vacation.

Maybe I can just fly Lex and I to Jamaica
or something. I don't know.

Ooh. That'd be cute.

You, honest to God,
have the best texture of hair ever.

Thank you.
Ever need a hair model, let me know.

Got it.

-Okay, you ready?
-Yeah.

Look at you.

You look, as some would call,

"stunning."

I feel like I walk in the room,
people are gonna be like, "Damn."

And I love you with this little
stubble short beard.

Originally, I didn't feel like
I would have actually fluff it, right.

Um, I actually like a fluff.

It's cool.

Nailing it.

-Hey! Nice cut!
- Thank you.

Come on back here.

Food. Now this is my specialty.

-Eating it, it is.
-Eating it.

We're gonna to be eating it.

-Have you ever heard of pasta carbonara?
-No.

So, this is really simple.

It's just eggs, cheese,
pancetta, pasta and that's it.

And the good thing about this
is that it basically takes, like,

ten to fifteen minutes to prepare.

And you have dinner for your kids

-and your family.
-Okay.

We're gonna grab our towel
for our messy hands.

So, we'll have it right here on the side.

The sauce is basically eggs and cheese.

For every egg that you use,
you're gonna use an extra yolk.

So you cr*ck the egg,

and then as you cr*ck it open,
the white just kinda pours out,

and you use your other shell
to plop the yolk in.

Yes! There you go.

Now pop it in there.
Plop it back into the other one.

In the kitchen five minutes, you're
already separating yolks from whites.

Okay. I spoke a little too soon.
But that's fine. We're gonna salvage it.

Next thing we're gonna do,
we're gonna combine the cheese.

Do you know what Parmigiano-Reggiano is?

-Parmesan.
-Comes in a little green container, right?

-That's not fully that. That's kind of--
-Okay.

-Like, the fake version of it.
-Okay.

So, we're using real deal here.

And then the second cheese
is Pecorino Romano.

So we just plop that in there.

So this is literally, like,
the entire sauce for the pasta dish.

And now we're gonna deal
with the meat portion.

This is pancetta, which is like bacon.

And you just cut these
into nice little cubes, like so.

When's the last time you, like,
fully cooked a meal from scratch?

Uh, never.
I've never made a meal from scratch.

So, you've never made a meal?

-This is like new territory for you.
-Right.

Every single little detail
is new to Brandonn.

There's nothing
that I can take for granted.

Watch out for those fingers.

He's cooking for the first time ever.

When you're holding a Kn*fe like this,

I know it's instinctive
to use your index finger,

but it will get exhausted
after chopping it for a while.

So, if you figure out how to hold it
a little closer to the blade,

you actually have a little more control.
That's good.

So, now we're gonna
plop all the meat on here.

-Is it intimidating? Is it scary?
-It is. I'll build a house

-over this all day long.
-I can barely change the light bulb.

So, yeah.

You wanna try flippin' it? There you go.

I've always heard a rule.
You never cook bacon naked.

Especially in a restaurant
with other people working.

-Yes.
-But also when you're alone at home.

Now our pasta.

You actually have to salt the hell
out of your pasta water.

We want this to taste like the ocean.

'Cause we're in a restaurant,
we get to plop it in one of these.

- That's fancy.
-Yes.

He really wants to learn,
there's a lot of willingness in Brandonn.

He's very attentive.

He's looking at how I hold
every single little thing,

which is really great.

Pour it in, and then we start to mix
with the tongs.

I'm gonna bring your delicious
little bacon bits.

-And now, finally...
- Peas. I love peas.

- Nice!
-Oh, this looks so amazing!

This is your first recipe ever
and you just made it from scratch!

-I can't wait to eat it. I'm excited.
-Oh, no. We're gonna eat it.

Just a little more cheese. Why not?

-You're being too cheesy now.

Oh, a dad joke.

Within the simple action
of preparing a meal for his family,

it's just the beginning for Brandonn.

Mm.

This is--

Wow!

-I'm excited to make this for my kids.
-You are? Good.

This is gonna be amazing.
They're gonna love this.

Maybe that's a little way of having
a special moment with your kids.

To bond with them and say,
you know what, I do know they love me.

Right.

But I do know, like, for certain that
there's so much love in your home.

And that's like...
a lot of homes don't even have that.

-Yeah.
-I grew up in a home

where everyone stayed
in different rooms except when we ate.

That's when we were together,
that was it.

And I think that food is like-- It sounds,

for lack of a better word, cheesy,
but it really does connect people.

It brings people together.

So, just taking this ten minutes...

even the 15 minutes
sitting over the dinner table

instead of going to McDonald's.

-Thanks again.
- It was my pleasure.

And it really helps that you love peas
as much as I do.

Oh, dude. You just sprinkled happiness
and magic in it, you know?

- What are you thinkin'?
-I don't know.

I don't even know what to say,
what to think.

- We are here.

-Is that them?
-Yes.

-You ready?
-Yes.

- Come on in!
- You're so handsome!

-Look at you.
-Hi.

Welcome home!

Holy cow!

Oh, my God. This is amazing!

Yeah, this is awesome. I love the flag.

-And here's the island we built.
-Oh.

Nice marble.

Attached a dining table to it.

Wow! I could just imagine
my son and my daughter right there,

and then my wife next to me, right,

-just drinking a glass of wine.
-Doing homework.

I just see, like, my son
putting his backpack up here.

I'm like, "Ashtonn, get your backpack up.
Put it in the chair," right.

This is my house.

This is-- Holy cow,
you guys don't even know, like--

This is home.

I wanna see the rest of the house.

- Me too.
- Let's see more.

What?

Oh, my God!

This is so amazing.

I built these columns in

and then floated the headboard
in the middle with the light behind it.

There's light switches for his and hers
on each side,

-USB ports for your phones.
-In a way, it's not inviting for the kids,

-but that's a good thing, right?
- Yes.

I bet this is how you make
these veterans feel.

I'm very much in shock. This is
very motivating, guys. Like, this is...

Holy cow!

You'd already done pretty well
renovating your bathroom.

I just finished it up for you.

This is insane.

Painted your cabinets.

You have a toilet in there that is

-working and attached.
-Yes!

-No more powder room to go poo.
- I love a toilet bowl.

This could be like a little mindfulness
moment for you, so take a seat.

I wanna do some wellness for your insides.

So, breathing techniques
can really just, like, center us.

Close your eyes. Palms up.

So, all of the focus comes on your breath.

And then you're gonna breathe
in your nose...

...and then just out your mouth.

-In your nose.

This is something he can take
with himself for the rest of his life

and use it as a tool to help heal himself
and feel more calm and more grounded.

-Keep breathing. Inhale.

Pause and exhale.

And you're really
breathing into your belly exhale.

Yes, Buddha.
Breathe all that nurturing energy

all up in the Midwest.
We need all of, like, the calming,

gorgeous clarity that we can handle
up in here.

Say yes, please.

-How does that feel?
-I've--

I actually had a little bit of anxiety
and now I have a little bit less anxiety.

Okay. So I've been dying
to show you your closet.

It's really easy to get changed
in the morning.

Your jackets are all together.
Your button up shirts are all together.

Your sweaters are together,
your T-shirts are together. Easy, right?

-Yes, I'm really excited about it.
-Okay. Good.

-Do you wanna try on some clothes?
-I do.

-You guys ready? Okay.
- Yeah.

-It's color, color, color. He loves color.

Look how gorgeous you look.

- So handsome.
- You look so good.

-I love the color pop.
-So... The color pop's everything.

It's a very young, hot dad.

Yeah. Oh, I know.

-How do you feel in it?
-Sophisticated.

Oh.

I mean, and you can still take,
like, pre-skater boy

to, like, you know, the grocery store
once every other month.

It's about creating different moments.

This'll be a date night attire?
Or would it...

I would love for you to wear this
on a date.

I love that you're asking these questions.

I wanna look like hot, man.

-Let's go.
-More looks! More looks!

Show us more looks! I'm so excited
to see his look come together.

Okay, boys.
I love this look, wait 'til you see him.

-Lay it on us.
-Okay. Brandonn?

- Oh!
- Oh, I like this.

Love... this look!

I love crisp, white high tops
with a slightly higher pant.

-That's brilliant.
- Me too. It's a beautiful suede.

But it's nice and simple.

If you wanna be more dressed up than
the last look was, that was play, play.

This is slightly more dressed up,
but it's still very much you.

I love this.

Thank you.

How are you feeling about this house
and this entire experience?

You know, since you and I talked,

I've been texting a little bit
with my wife.

And I have been
just straightforward with her,

and expressing my emotions to her,
which is really--

even through texts, has opened up a door.

So, like I'm just so excited for her
to come home.

You said constantly,
when we walked in here,

"I don't know how open I'm gonna be

because I'm not really comfortable
being vulnerable."

And that's all you've done
this entire week.

This is a new day for Brandonn.
There is strength in vulnerability.

-I'm a badass.
-Badass Brandonn.

I like that.

- Look at this kitchen.
- It's gorgeous.

- This is like your space.
-Yes. I'm ready to do this.

You are ready to do this.

We could start now, but like no,
you have a family to feed.

You're not feeding us today.

You have everything that you need here,
just slightly tweaked.

You have your eggs.

You're gonna use six whole eggs

and then six yolks.

-You remember how to do that?
-Yep.

-So, we talked about...
-Ooh.

-...pancetta, right?
-Yeah.

Which is basically like an uncured,
uh, pork belly.

Another version of that
that's a lot more common

is bacon, and it's just as good.

It's really just about cutting it fine,
so that it's not really big.

A little thing that stuck in my head
when you and I were talking,

this takes about 15 minutes to make.
And I'm like, "You know what?

That's 15 minutes
I'm gonna have extra with my kids."

- Tell us more about this evening.
- The event's a huge fundraiser.

And this year, it's at Union Station.

-Cute!
-Which is a a huge grand hall,

and it's gonna be 700 plus people there.

- Wow!
-Yeah, no big deal, I got this.

Yeah, you got it.

I gotta talk, and basically express
to people how I feel, right?

And now I'm able to do that.

You know,
you guys have broke down my wall

and have allowed me to express myself.

That's one of the things my wife
always talked about with me.

"If you just show me emotions, I can
understand what you're going through."

But I'm gonna give my marriage
and my kids and everything that I have...


and I'm not giving up whatsoever.

I just need to express
what I'm going through.

I need to express how I feel to them,
they're not going to be judging me.

They're gonna love me. If anything,
that's gonna bring them closer to me.

Um, I freaking love you guys.
I have your back.

And you guys mean the world to me.

Thank you.

Being able to let you guys in
has just transformed me and...

I love you guys, man.

-I would do anything for you guys.
-We love you.

Thank you.

-Likewise.
-You're gonna do great tonight.

You're an incredible representative
for your community. You really are.

I love you so much, I would go to,
like, Sephora on Black Friday.

If you understand that reference, we've
spent too much time with you this week.

We've spent too much time.

Please say you don't know
that reference yet.

He will. Give me a little bit longer
with him.

Love you, man. Thank you.

Group hug with the bummer.
It's a group hug moment.

Bobby, will you grab me one?

-Yeah.
- Thanks.

Now you're talkin'. Antoni,
this fried cheese tastes delicious.

It's rico.

All right. Let's roll.

Saunter on over, Bruley.

-Come on, saunter on over.
-I think he wants to show us.

That is the best saunter, Bruley.
You got it.

Does anybody want any cheese?

-No?
-No, thank you.

-I overdosed, unfortunately.
-Right.

-Karamo, let's do this.
-Bobby has it.

Bobby?

Ooh!

What a handsome guy.

-What's he making?
-Pasta carbonara.

Very tasty.

Come on... Wow!

Oh, my God.

Aw, look how proud
of himself he is.

-Aw!
-Aw!

I love it.

Hi!

-Hi, buddy. What do guys think?
- I wanna keep all of this stuff.

-Wanna keep it?
-Yes!

I love you guys.

I love you.

Oh.

This is Mommy and Daddy's new bedroom.

-Oh, my God, the floor.
-Oh, pretty.

They built this in for us.

There's a light behind here.

I don't even know what to say.

- There's a toilet in here now!

I saw it.

Gonna pour this right... like this.

His little boy's helping him.

-That's so cute.
- So cute.

Come on, guys. Dinner's ready.

-Daddy's gonna sit here.
- Okay.

-Look at that face.

What a buttery little face.

So, Ashtonn, what do you think
about how Daddy looks?

Good.

-I look good?
- Think he looks good?

I think Daddy should cook every night,
don't you?

Every morning and night.

Every morning and night?

-Uh-huh.
-All right. Deal.

He's giving me such cute flashback
growing up vibes.

This week has just been...

...really emotional for me,

just because I'm scared
to be emotional with you.

You're the best thing that's ever happened
to me, and so,

I'm working on trying to be more
emotionally connected with you.

-And you're really my best friend.
-Aww!

I am so in love with you.

I love you more than anything
in the world.

I truly, truly mean it.

I mean...

to me, this is a new start.

And I'm really excited
to go on a date with you tonight.

You're making me cry.

We're gonna spend more time together.

That's really important to me.

-Okay. Can you stop making me cry now?

-I just love you so much.

I'm really proud of him.
He's being so effusive, so vulnerable.

I know this was big for him
to be able to say all these things.

But you can tell she's relieved that

finally, she's hearing the things
that she needed to hear all these years.

Aww!

That was a good nook hug.

Yay, they're here.

Honey, she's giving me
upgraded realness right now.

That looks like something I would wear.

She kinda coordinated her look with his.

Coordination?

- You dorks.
-When did you get from Jersey?

-There he is.

-What's up, brother?
-How's it going, guys?

-Look at you, man.
-Hey!

-Looking good, buddy!
-Good to see you guys again.

- Aww.
-He looks sexy.

Good evening, guys.

For those of you that don't know,
my name is Brandonn Mixon.

I'm one of the founders
of Veterans Community Projects.

-And, uh, thank you. Thank you.

I couldn't do that
without my beautiful wife,

who helped me raise three amazing,
beautiful children.

My community is this community.

I get the awesome privilege

to be able to, um, work with the clinical
guys and work with the vets, because...

becoming homeless
doesn't happen overnight.

It's a slow process
of losing yourself over time...

and eventually isolating yourself, because
you become lost from what you used to be.

And I mean it when I say
this is a community project.

This is only successful
because of every single one of you.

-Thank you.

Well done.

-That was a gorgeous speech.
-Impassioned. Yeah.

Brandonn expressed to us
that he doesn't see himself as a hero

from the time he served,
that his time was cut short.

But the thing is, man,
not only were you a hero then,

but you are a hero
to so many other people now,

providing homes and a sense of security

for guys who haven't been given
a second chance.

Although this week's been hard, it made me
realize that I've been judging myself.

But I've learned this is my life.
And I'm proud of my life.

A weight's been lifted.
Like, that's a good feeling.

I love you.

- Hands in for veterans.
- Yeah!

-That is something I can get behind.
-Three, two, one.

Veterans!

We love you!

One of the big nightmares
you can run into remodeling a kitchen

is finding out that your wood floors

didn't run under the cabinets
that you're wanting to move.

A quick and inexpensive way to fix that

is to find an entry door with the same
matching floor,

remove some, replace it here,

and put tile in your entry. It'll look
like it was always supposed to be there.